this is me

Of flying without wings

2012-07-05T11:56:00.000+05:30

I've had the fortunate privilege of taking many flights in out and into the city over the past 4 weeks and I've made some observations that I think are moderately funny enough to maybe tickle your funny bone if not send you into hysterics of laughter.

So, here goes.

The very first thing that struck me was that stewardesses these days look so much like each other I couldn't help wonder whether they came off an assembly line now.

As for the safety features explanation, well, it wouldn't hurt to crack a smile. Especially when you're explaining what needs to be done in case we're gonna crash to an almost certain death or worse, a "water landing". Has anyone else also noticed how they cringe when they have to show the use of the oxygen mask? Some of them are so scared of the mask, they wont even put the band over their head!

The life jacket is a whole other thing altogether. the area around the neck is so dirty my heart goes out to the stewardess drawing it down her head and on her neck. But hey! Wait a minute! Aren't they the only ones that actually 'use' those?

Now well, I'm nearly not rich enough to fly business class and nearly not stupid enough to throw away that kind of money even if I were especially when the flight lasts just over an hour, more often than not. But there are a few observations there too that I'd like to someday verify, and I will be stupid for a day just to get some questions answered.

Like, what happens when after the flight has taken off and the stewardess draws the curtains that divide the kings from the paupers? Is there some kind of a special in-flight entertainment system that gets activated? Do a couple of Lebanese belly dancers pop out of the closet and do a little twirl and twist? Or does the captain step out of his inadequately spaced cockpit for a breath of fresher air and do a little juggling act for the benefit of the business class traveler?

While I'm talking about the captain, barring maybe one out of the ten that I have experienced, does anyone really know what they mumble from time to time on the P.A. system? And why do they never. ever, get the stewardesses' names right? And who made them "Commanders"?

There's a lot to be said about the passengers too though. Like how they will just not turn off their phones or laptops even it it means that they will be the cause for an aforementioned 'water landing'. And how they will bring bags too large for the overhead storage compartment and push and force and tug til one of the much thinner than them stewardesses will arrive and gracefully, in two swift moves, put the errant bag and passenger in their place. Or like how they just cant wait for the seat-belt sign to be turned off and jump out of their seats the moment the aircraft touches the ground like they were attacked by a vicious airplane-seat parasite. And first-time travelers are the best! Cries of "EXCUSE ME!" and "HELLO!" render the air when someone wants a water or maybe just some attention. How many times has anyone noticed someone ask for a "Times" or an "HT" and refuse to even touch another newspaper when the stewardess hands them one?

I shake my head lightly, chuckle under my breath, and reach for the Batman graphic novel that I carried along. I will be flying again soon. There will be more stories to be told. For now though, I open to page 34, and read with a smile, as Batman stands quietly in the shadows while Gordon and Dent go on about how Gotham is not the paradise it used to be.

Oh to have a personal jet or jetpack.

You broke me

2012-02-15T10:12:00.002+05:30

I blame you girl oh yes I do
Coz if you didn't love me the way you did
I'd still be sane, oh yes I would too
I wouldn't have given you my heart the way I did
I wouldn't have loved you so much
That when you left me my world would just shatter
Why did you have to go? What was the big rush?
My heart's such a mess but how does it matter?

You took it n crushed it n threw it away
Now what am I to do, what am I to even say?
You broke me so even my maker wont take me back
It might have seemed small but it's more than a crack

No matter where I go, I always see you
I hear your laughter and even your voice
Feel your scent in my nostrils, your hand in mine too
What's the real point though, it's not like I have a choice
Should'a known from the start that it was just a dream
Your love was for real but wasn't forever
I'll tell my heart not to scream
I'm guarding it now, wont let this happen, never

You took it n crushed it n threw it away
Now what am I to do, what am I to even say?
You broke me so even my maker wont take me back
It might have seemed small but it's more than a crack
No even my maker wont take me back
Believe me I tried, but He just wont take me back

'twas the night before Valentine's or The worst break-up ever!

2012-02-14T16:41:00.002+05:30

'twas the night before Valentine's when all thru the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

The soft toys were kept on the table with care
In hopes that my love would soon be there

Dinner was prepared and so was the bed
I sat there waiting, holding my head

While i was waiting i poured me a nightcap
I didn't realise when i fell into a nap

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters, and threw up the sash.

The alarms came on, the porch lights aglow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But my girl in a mini, chugging eight cans of beer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be some prick

More rapid than eagles his curses they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and started callin me names

"Now! ****er, now! ****er, now! *****er, and ***en,
"Oh! Come, on! Come, on! D***** and B****;

So screaming he went to the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
"Now **** off! **** off! **** off you all!"

So the neighbours woke up as the curses they flew,
With the porch full of puke and empty cans too:

He was dress'd all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnish'd with ashes and soot;

A bundle of "toys" was flung on his back,
And he look'd like a peddler just opening his pack:

The stump of a cigar he held in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He was chubby and plump, a right troll-y old elf,
And I laugh'd when I saw him in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I was gonna be dead.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And started kissing my girl right in front of me that jerk,

Then sticking his finger inside of his nose
He flung forth a booger, up the porch steps he rose.

He sprung to his mini, to my girl gave a whistle,
And away they all drove, like the down of a thistle:

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight
"Happy Valentine's to you, and i'm banging her right!".

The fool on the hill

2012-01-27T09:38:00.002+05:30

Look up! You'll find me standing there

Looking stupid

Trying to grab your attention

I'm the fool on the hill

Dancing this dance for you

I wave and I shout

And I jump around

Trying, if only, to get a glimpse from you

I'm the fool on the hill

Dancing this dance for you

I wish you'd turn

And look in my direction

I've been here awhile

I'm the fool on the hill

Dancing this dance for you

You might have noticed me

I don't know for sure

I've been here forever

And forever I will

I'm the fool on the hill

Dancing this dance for you

I've got so much more to give

2011-12-26T13:10:00.000+05:30

I didn't do enough
But I still did a lot
I gave you my heart
Our souls bound as one
And then you left
Never to return
I waited on you
While my heart wept a lot

If only you'd stayed long enough
You'd have known
I've got so much more to give

These memories will be
With me till the end of my days
I mended my ways
I got better
And better I would get
In this time and the next
I would love you without rest
It wouldn't always be
Rainbows and butterflies
But if you'd have stayed

If only you'd stayed long enough
You'd have known
I've got so much more to give

I can't lay the blame on you
No i can't
No matter how many ways
You find to say
It wasn't me it was you
I know better than that
Situations
Circumstances
Trials and tribulations
I'd have found a way to work around
And make it a better life
A life full of love
A life so complete
A life where there'd be a lot of you n me

I didn't do enough
But I still did a lot
I gave you my heart
Our souls bound as one
And then you left
Never to return
I waited on you
While my heart wept a lot

If only you'd stayed long enough
You'd have known
I've got so much more to give

That what was

2011-12-19T17:53:00.000+05:30

Sitting serenading of a love that was
a million questions unanswered since it was

why did she not know when it was early
that her future with him was gonna be blurry

He loves her, he does, like no other before
and never will he love anyone anymore

why when he held her hand and confessed
that she didn't see love and in-spite of it professed

what happens now that his heart is broken
she just walks away like its not her problem

He loves her, he does, like no other before
and never will he love anyone anymore

Strength

2011-11-21T17:59:00.001+05:30

i dont want to be strong if it means i bring so much as a tear to your eyes
i dont want to be strong if it means i dont have you in my life
i dont want to be strong if it means i dont have your hand in mine
i dont want to be strong, no i just dont want to get in line

This heart has been broken before
And every time i pick up the pieces
I'm missing one or two or more

i dont want to be
no i just dont want to be
i dont want to be
strong anymore

Some thoughts, wishes, and words.

2011-09-07T16:54:00.000+05:30

For years, I searched in vain, for peace, for love, for tranquility, you already know.
With you I found these, I let go of all vanity, you already know.
For you, I lived, I'd die, I'd fight death and come back, but then, you already know.
I'd wait for you, a lifetime, a million lifetimes, for your return, and again, you already know.

But then, you already know all this and more,
My thoughts, my feelings, have never been hidden from you before,
My life's an open book, to your eyes, if only you'd look,
I wish times were different, I wish situations weren't so demanding,

I can only wish, that you be mine, forever,
Forever, an eternity in my eyes, I only wish, time stood still, when I was with you,
I'd have held your hand then, and never let go,
I'd have hoped then, that everything would've been alright,

And hope would have lived within me,
An undying flame, fanned by the feelings, within me
And hope, would have kept you by my side,
Hand in hand, the way it is, with people in love, but that, you already know.

Memories Remain

2011-08-09T17:06:00.000+05:30

Like dust we will all be one with the earth one day,

Friends, families, foes, all left behind,

And in time, pictures will fade,

No musical ode or poem will keep us immortal,

Holding on to fragile hope, trying to see like we once saw,

Innocence lost, jobs found, emotions burnt and rebuilt,

How we will want and long to go back to those times but in vain,

In the end, Nothing but memories remain.

The sad state of our country

2011-07-14T10:21:00.001+05:30

I don't care if it was indeed Ajmal Kasab's birthday

I don’t give a rats ass for that bastard.

I’m happy that my family is unharmed. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not pissed angry that this happened again.

How, in spite of all the “naka bandis” and everyone having to leave early for work just to make it in time, that they arrested two “terrorists” 2 days before the blast and didn’t manage to get anything out of them?

Was it really a terrorist attack? Or was it an attempt by those in power to shift the nation’s focus away from what it was fighting for, the Jan Lokpal Bill? And has it always been like this? Every time we are up in arms about something will matters to us, our attention is taken away by a blast or communal riots or something of that kind.

And we WILL bounce back!

YES WE WILL YOU IN POWER! AND YES WE WILL YOU RUNNING THE TV AND RADIO CHANNELS!

But it’s only because we HAVE TO!

And like the last time, WHERE are you? You who makes fiery speeches! You who think you rule this city! Where were you and your “army” when Kasab and his cronies held this city to ransom? Where were you when the bodies need to be carried away? Where were your men when we needed “fighters” to bring them down.

You will beat me up if I hold my girlfriend’s or wife’s hand in public. And your men go drown themselves in booze at whore houses and dance bars.

And Mr. Government official who runs our lives for us, and bleed us dry with taxes so high that we live from payday to next payday. Do you know what has happened in the US of A after 9/11? NOTHING! And do you know why? It’s because they bother about the citizens who brought them into power.

And they fought back!

Who am I? I’m the one asking the questions, before another bomb blows me, and fifty others like me, to bits.

Because soon after, this city will pick up the pieces, limp for a day, and get back to business. Because, we are NUMB!

Liquor factory blues

2011-07-13T09:55:00.000+05:30

Man: where do you work?

Man2: at this liquor company

Man: wow! so you should have a bar at home!

Man2: wha?! why?

Man: since you work at that big liquor company you should get stuff home. have a decent bar setup.

Man2: hmmm. so does that mean that if i worked for the railways i ought to get a couple trains home?

i am someone's perfect girl (Part Deux)

2011-07-11T17:12:00.000+05:30

"I'm a self-described coffee and cupcake addict." she saidTo which i say, Good on you sweetheart! if one doesn't give you enough of a high to come up with crap like this, the other will!

"I'm not an alcoholic, but I do love good beer, good wine and a good time."
And i like to pee in my pants every once in a while... it's the warm feeling i'm addicted to...

"I go to plays and musicals because I love them."
I go to plays and musicals only because i like to catcall and heckle at the performers!

"I dance because it's fun."

You get the time to dance after filling out all those subscriptions for magazines???

i am someone's perfect girl

2011-07-06T12:01:00.000+05:30

Got this mail today...

"I am someone's perfect girl.
I hoard books.
I read news all the time."

and it goes on...

Actually...

Got more mails like this today...

about 27 of them...

kinda hard to believe you girl. when there are so many of you saying the same thing.

"I subscribe to several magazines and newspapers, not because I have time to read all of them, but because I like to think I do."

Seriously?! you like to think you have the time to read all of the magazines and newspapers you subscribe to?

you know what i think girl?

Your country's economy must run thanks to these very magazine and newspaper manufacturers... given that you claim to subscribe to so many of them, and i have about 3870 mails from more like you with the exact same claim, and given the predictions, i might receive about 9987 more mails like this from different girls like you by the end of the month, that's a lot of money being pumped into the system eh?

(and that's the first installment in what i can hope to be is a funny series of replies to a mail that comes to me from different names)

watch out for more soon...

The Change, Me

2011-05-20T17:59:00.000+05:30

I am quite the bastard

But I’m changing

And I hope I can give you all that you deserve

By being and getting better

For you

For us

I must warn you though

I’m quite the cynic

And everything I see I take with more than just a pinch of salt

So if I embarrass you

I’m apologizing now

As I will then too

Will you be ok with that?

There is no turning back now

Isn’t there?

Walk away, if you want to, NOW

I will nurse my bleeding heart

And don’t look back

To see if I’m ok

I will be

Some day

Maybe not this time

Maybe not till the next time I will be burnt

But I will live

For live I must

And cherish the memories

Of times spent in your presence

So walk away

If you want, NOW

And I will nurse my bleeding heart

Why movies do not work today

2011-04-28T18:20:00.000+05:30

It's because of bloopers, outtakes and end credit behind-the-scenes

Sure it makes for good entertainment and a few good laughs

But does it make for a good movie?

Take Ben Hur for example

A huge success with 11 Academy awards!

Imagine how it would be if after the grand end of the movie the viewer is treated to a few, well, bloopers!

Imagine in the scene when Ben Hur saves Quintus Arrius and he asks him "Why did you save me?" and Ben Hur replies "Coz I couldn't let your punk ass drown!" and they both broke out into laughter!

Wouldn't work

Or how about when Pontius Pilate and Ben Hur are having their little tete-a-tete and break out into laughter all around and there was much slapping of backs because Pontius Pilate forgets his lines 7 times in a row?

Wouldn't work

So today, and this is for you Mr. Filmmaker, make a great movie but do not have end credit bloopers and outtakes. Wait a year, and then release it as a separate DVD that costs half the rate of the actual movie.

You're making your money and people get their laughs and the Oscars are already in the bag!

ROTFLMAOSHIG!!!

2011-02-11T10:18:00.000+05:30

Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off So Hard I'm Gagging!!!

An expression given to the feeling when the humour from an act or occurrence makes one laugh so hard that said person then starts coughing due to a gagging feeling felt in said person's throat. Most often used in an online (on the internet) scenario to express humourous appreciation of a post e.g. a joke, a funny video, a limerick, etc.

yes! i made that up! jeez! dont you get it already? it's what i do...

The crying beauty by the sea

2010-11-26T18:29:00.000+05:30

I remember now, i saw into your eyes, not many years ago

And pain looked back at me

You sat there on that bench, staring at the sea

The wind, salty and harsh, blew a foamy spray in your face

Unblinking, with tears in your eyes you were, looking far into open space

What troubles, i wonder, put a furrow on your brow

Who was it that put you in this predicament?

What makes you ignore your drenched clothes, sitting there, it's freezing and i wonder how

Lean on me, my shoulder's yours

Here, wipe your tears, your mascara stains your face

Lending to you a different beauty, though it means you're in pain

Get up now, hold my hand, walk with me

Sunset approaches, the night is near

The hounds are a howling, their hunger awakening

Be wary now, hostility is a linger, don't worry now, you have me here

And then she came, she walked with me

Far into the darkness, her fears at rest

Away from the pain and her travails

The castaway, the beautiful angel, that discarded best

Two souls, one conversation

2010-07-18T17:59:00.000+05:30

The dark sky turned blue bright

Don't know when was the last time i closed my eyes

It's the journey from sleep to rise

That makes life appear so simplified

Simplicity redefined

Your lack of sleep justified

This life undignified

Or troubles magnified

One thing Testified

Your strength exemplified

An angel personified

Why is life being so mean with me?

Feeling so tired of pulling me out of the depths every time

I'm wishing something very bad for me

And wishing strongly

Oh angel sweet about this think

I've loved and cared about you

For as long as i can remember

And if anything were to happen to you

Think about what would happen to me

Because i wont die or force life to end

I will live with the pain

And the fact that I didn't do a thing about it

You see that which is unseen

I'm a book with a million pages

Stacked behind the glossy heap

The chapters are mercilessly torn

How then did you read me?

The being in its entirety

See the beauty in the moon

The dark spots don't bother

The star faintest catches your attention

Amidst the sparkling brilliance

It's not the beauty there

It's the one in thy eyes

What you see sometimes deceives

It's not the eyes that comprehend

It's the soul that feels

The bleeding heart that heals

Your touch that works these wonders

Must be the ninth wonder

Thanks to the sixth sense (hehe!)

Angel you're precious

Don't let anyone lead you into thinking otherwise

In this life or the next

No riches would equal your presence

Fame or fortune

A Pandora's box accompanies the vanities' case

In my case

The heart seeks to conquer

It's reach unhindered

Not by praise

Nor by misfortune

My quest for love

The meaning to life

The seeds of truth

Led me to you

Mere words or sheer belief

Your fair ways leave me in awe

Your quest will take you to greater destinations

I'm just a weed in the path

Mistaken for a flower

An orchard of the rarest

The most beautiful

The most pure

No weed this

But merely in it's existence

Enriching life's force

Verbose

2010-07-18T17:36:00.000+05:30

here i am, sitting, crying, paining...

my heart is hurting, burning, aching...

eyes are smarting, tearing, i'm trying...

to stop them from flowing, i hope no one's watching...

all the effort that i'm making.

here i am, lying in my bed, sheets drawn over my head...

thinking about all the sweet times we had together...

sulking, grieving, that tomorrow you'll be gone...

knowing that now you're going, i will again be alone...

hoping, waiting that someday we'll be meeting once again.

here i am, working, concentrating, trying not to think of all the pain...

but my mind is wandering to you always, again...

i wonder what you're doing...

are you all right or do you also feel the same?

cursing, swearing that my luck is playing a game...

all my life i've been craving for the loving and the caring, that you've been showering on me when you were here.

here i am, doing nothing, idling, whiling my time away...

thinking, remembering, enjoying the memories...

of your smiling dimpled face, of your shining, swaying, hair...

of your look, your touch, your staring, into deep open space.

i am knowing of the fact that you are probably feeling worse than i...

missing that early morning waking, that afternoon chat...

the evening, walking by the bay, hand in hand...

dreams together, singing in one voice...

the kissing and trying new ways of saying "i love you"...

and goofing around, just the same...

you'll be missing things way past my imagining that i know.

hang in there my sweetheart, i'll be there...

i'll be waiting for your returning, just right here...

i know what you're going through and i love you and i care...

if you ever need me know that i'll be there...

etherealmerman

to his "little mermaid" Hebrides

death

2007-12-14T08:49:00.000+05:30

darkness embedded in my being
my soul unforgiving
i close my eyes call out a prayer
there's no one to answer no one to heed
my call in the night goes unheard
even in the light the screams unrelenting
mind in a twist
messed up and clouded in mist
i try to focus, my thoughts run astray
no chance this is happenin, no way
i'm fighting it but i know i cant win
this is it, time to throw the towel in
"i give up" i yell, i scream , i shout
blows after hard blows rain down, the baton stout
the taste of blood, metallic, at the back of my throat
not a sound escapes me as my spirit goes afloat
the end

Identity of our world

2007-08-22T07:28:00.000+05:30

religious harmony?
what's the big deal?
high class? low class? middle class?
what's the big deal?
hindu? christian? buddhist? muslim?
i dont really know but is there really a difference?
color of skin?
or thickness of blood?
or maybe the size of their pockets?
or is it the cars they drive?
is it just me or are there others who dont quite understand?
why should there be a line?
drawn to distinguish people?
what is your identity?
what is mine?
my name?
what i do?
what state i belong to?
what religion i follow?
not who i am?
isnt that a little off?
or is it just me shooting my mouth?
what's the big deal?
do fancy houses matter?
or the breed of the dog the gardener or watchman is walkin?
what's the big deal?
people killing each other in the name of caste and religion?
can we all not just be humans?
or are we waiting for a higher calling?
is god going to come down to show us that we're wrong?
i dont think so
i think he made us all the same, irrespective of caste, creed or colour
i think its more important to just be good human beings
i think its important we dont give our kids a legacy of hatred
i think its important that i make a difference
doest it really matter what i think?
make me feel different...
start loving... stop discriminating...

At Night (My Tryst With Destiny)

2007-05-19T03:54:00.000+05:30

There was a time at night when i sat up...
drinking... cursing the world... smoking... searing my lungs... crying tears of blood... thinking of my cruel luck... of days past... fruitless and black... and of the future... bleak...

Then there was a time at night when i sat up...
treasuring your presence in the room... watching you in beautiful sleep... fanning you when the lights went out... on a warm night... trying to keep you cool... observing your angelic demeanour... even in sleep so graceful... so beautiful... thanking the lord... for having changed my entire life... for giving me you... running my hand through your hair... just seeing you... taking it all in... breathing in whiffs of your body's aroma... picturing a future with one of gods most beautiful creations... you... holding you in my lap... not stirring... for fear that you'd wake up...

Now there is a time at night when i sit up...
drinking... cursing the world... smoking... searing my lungs... crying tears of blood... I've lost you... you've gone away... thinking of my cruel luck... how could i be so stupid... i broke your trust in me... thinking of days past... so beautiful... so colorful... and complete... i destroyed it with my own hands... shattered my life into a million pieces... thinking of my future... so lonely... so forlorn... so incomplete... so bleak...

When i sit up at night...
All i do is miss you...

On Love Lost

LIFE! (or my prayer in despair)

2007-05-19T03:51:00.000+05:30

My life,
is not my own to call...
I live,
only because i have to...
I live,
because my life was given to me by the being that commands life to all...
I live,
because that life is a loan from one who saved it from despair...
I live,
because it is not mine to put and end to...
My life,
is a favour granted from the one that pulled it out from the raging fires of hell...
I live,
because someday i will find a way to repay my mentor...

Oh sweet angel that granted me "A Life"
Why also did you not take it with you when you went away...
At least i wouldnt be living a life that isnt mine...

Is life worth living?
When all you've lived for has been taken from your life...

Is life worth living?
When there is nothing but sadness and more despair in tomorrow again...

Is this life worth living?
Or couldnt you have given me death?

That be possibly sweeter than this bitter pill that you've forced down my throat oh Lord...

Is this really... My life?

A State of Mind

In conversation with a creature of the dark

2007-05-19T03:37:00.000+05:30

I ask
a daywalker from the still of the night?
divine you call yourself yet belong to the depths...
what does your search bring forth in this dimension?
for i have searched and have only found death...

And She replies
The primitive pursuit in the darkened woods
led me no further from where I stood.
The holy surface or the shallow Depths
to the periphery of divinity I never clung
To what avail this abandonment
when the words still hang 'twixt life and death
The sinful wrong became my penchant to hunt.
alone i revel in the discovery of death.

And so
in salutation then...
solitute is not yours alone,
for i have conquered the darkness too.
life being a state of wakefulness and death the absence of life...
to you may life give aplenty,
be your conquests then not inclined,
to death but to eternity.

I ask again
fear of the unknown,
tells me not to venture...
been bitten, yet feel no pain,
mighty foolish, at this juncture...
playing with the wind, an imaginary friend,
feeble hope, in my mind, of a reality different...
to thee i come then, eyes shut tight,
flight not an option, neither fear a deterrent...
my quest, for truth, and many answers,
who art thou, n whither art thou from...
so grant me then this wish, creature of the dark,

ally, i ask to be, no longer my quest humdrum...

with The Punk Wolf (Punkerina!)

Scars

2007-03-22T03:14:00.000+05:30

Your wrists, cut, bled and healed.
Your heart, broken, mended.

The torture, painfully real, you defied.
The pain, seared, burned and died.

Hell, endured, survived, defeated.
Its thirst, with tears, you quelled.

Fears, you fought and allayed.
Darkness, you chased, and dispelled.

Scars, they remain.
Memories, they stay.

Wisdom, with experience.
Continued existence, with strength and fortitude.

May they be, may they stay, may they grow with each passing day.
May peace be yours, may your heart be light.
May each day be conquered, with womanly might.

On a Woman's Endurance.

Dedicated to M. D'Souza

Only the greatest respect Ma'am...