Caregiver Relief

Help for Alzhiemer's

2011-10-28T12:21:00.000-07:00

Having posted information for the past 5 years, I want to offer you a more direct way to get information:

I tend to post articles on topics that I think are important to family caregivers. To be honest, my motives were in part to promote the assisted living communities that I worked at. My reader's followed me, but as new families came to my community, I could direct them to these blogs, and give them confidence that they were putting their loved one in safe place. So there was a duel purpose.

But it occurs to me, rather than guess what you might need to know and write an article about it, I could answer you questions directly.

If you are taking care of a parent or spouse with Alzheimer's, you can write me at askdonahue . that link is askdonahue@aol.com. I really look forward to answering your questions...my agenda is only to help. If you need another email address to reach me for any other reason, you can find me at
donahueg@alumni.usc.edu

yours, Donahue Vanderhider, MSG

caregiverrelief

What The Heck Is A Gerontologist And What Good Are They?

2011-09-30T21:33:00.000-07:00

Its a fair question. What exactly makes a Gerontologist any different from other quasi-medical professional?

P.S. For a short period of time you can get personalized care and coaching from a gerontologist for less than $40 a month! (This is about a 90% discount).
But its a little complicated.

First sign up for a free membership at http://dementiacaresecrets.com

Second once inside look to the bottom of the page for the words Ultimate Care
and click on the entire paragraph...

Alzeimer's Secret #4: You Are Being Over Charged

2010-10-17T15:16:00.000-07:00

OK, before I continue, I want to share some exciting news with you. I will soon be launching a caregiver membership website! My partner, Diane Carbo and I have joined forces to bring you the first ever, exclusive membership site devoted entirely to caregivers helping their parents suffering from Alzheimer's dementia. We are hoping to launch before Thanksgiving. Nobody will be excluded, the site will have 2 membership levels, Free and Gold Level. We are committed to drop dead honesty, and making sure you are saving money and have peace of mind. Please go to Dementia Care Secrets and sign up. I will personally respond, and you will have the opportunity to sign up at DementiaCareSecrets.com" as a founding member (with even more bonuses than the Gold Level).

Alzheimer's Secret #4 You are being over charged

Medications, insurance co-pay, incontinent supplies, adult day care, home health care workers, assisted living, you name it? There are people trying to make money off of you, and they are trying to make as much money as possible.

Medication
Before I continue, I must advise you that I am not an MD doctor or a pharmacist, so the following is purely my opinion, and you should make up your own mind and discuss all medication issues with your own doctor and pharmacist.
You already know about generic drugs, and that's a good start. However, you may had heard that there are some drugs that you should not get generic versions of. Hogwash. According to Consumer Reports, "Generics are copies of brand name medicines whose patents have expired". As you can imagine the FDA has strict rules about drug preparation, purity, and strength. The only place you should concern yourself with quality is when taking vitamins and supplements. The FDA does not oversee the makers of supplements, and there is huge disparity with manufactures. But that is a story for Dementia Care Secrets.com

Insurance Co-pay
Time for another qualification: I am not a financial advisor, my comments again, are only my opinion, and quite frankly might be dead wrong. For example, personally I will never pay for my dad's doctor or hospital co-pay. After all what are they going to do, ruin his credit? In my experience, most doctor's do not care about collecting co-pay, but they are required by the government to charge Medicare and private pay patients the same, so to get the maximum Medicare reimbursement they have to ask for a co-pay. (It’s a long explanation) Especially in nursing homes and assisted living, doctors could not care less about it.
As far as I know hospitals cannot refuse you treatment, even if you owe them a million dollars. If you show up in ER (or the paramedics deliver your mom or dad there) they will not be sent away. That leaves insurance companies: The best insurance you can have is Medi-Medi. But if you do not have the income qualification for Medicaid, then you need a good secondary, like AARP. And if you are paying more than a nominal fee for meds or services, then you need to change your secondary. Which is very easy, and we will show you how do it on the membership site.
Incontinent supplies, bath chairs, hospital beds, etc.
If you parents are broke then you qualify for Medicaid, no problem. Medicaid covers it. Including wheelchairs (electric and regular). But if they are not broke…and their secondary insurance does not pay, you can go on Craigslist or eBay. Also check Thrift stores, and call those charities that pick up like the Vietnam Veterans groups and ask where their retail stores are. Places that pick up usually have the best selection. Even the Penny Saver carries most of the stuff you need (chairs, beds, walkers, etc.). Incontinent supplies on the other hands can be found at discount stores like Walmart.
If you have home health workers or your folk live in assisted living, or skilled nursing, make sure they are not putting two diapers on at a time. They will give you some malarkey and say that it prevents or catches leaking. That’s plain not true. the adult briefs made today can hold plenty. They are just trying to get away with changing your loved one less often - which is a major contributor to skin breakdown. So if you catch it, raise hell.

Adult Day Care
There are two types: regular adult day care and adult day health care. Both are subsidized by the government. If you are in a big city or town, shop around, if you are more rural you will most likely have to us IHSS (a government subsidized home companion service). But when it comes to adult day care; bargain like you are in Tijuana, try to get their daily rate for half of what they initially quote you.
home care workers
The dilemma with home health is deciding to hire your own help, or paying an agency and using their staff. They both have pluses and minuses. But if you decide on using an agency, again…shop it around for the best price. Here agencies are less likely to negotiate, BUT you can let your fingers do the shopping and find another one that is cheaper. Also, do not pay for more service than you need. (a Care Manager would be helpful here). Finally, you can get free home care if you have the right doctor. Basically you need to ask the doctor to write an order home health and if he/she does Medicare will pay for it. A good doctor will know what conditions and illnesses warrant home health and be able to write an order for it easily. Generally the best time for getting these orders is during a short hospitalization or a short stay in a Rehab care center or nursing home.

assisted living
Times are hard for assisted living. In the last decade they over built and big companies bought too many properties. Therefore no matter what the marketing persons says, they have a lot more vacancies than they are admitting to. So the best way to save on assisted living is to first ask them to waive whatever admission fees they try to slap on you. They might try to break it down into payments, don't fall for it. It's pure profit for them and negotiable. Then get them to reduce the price of the room and board. Most good places will not reduce their fees for care (medication, bathing, escorting, etc.). But the board and care portion of the fees are negotiable. Example: "We have a $1000 pre-admission free, and your mom needs X, Y and Z services for another $1500 plus room and board of $1000 for a total of $3500 move in, and $2500 per month after that." You can fight to have them waive the $1000 pre-admission and take around 20% off of the room and board for a total of $2300 per month. The saving will add up over time.
Also most assisted living communities will give you a cost of living rent increase every year. These are negotiable and can even be waived. Just claim financial hardship. Let them know you can't pay and will have to look a new place for your parent. Be creative, negotiate, try to postpone it 6 month. If it’s a percentage of the rent, try to get them to lower the percentage.
Another good trick, if you are just now looking to move your parent into an assisted living, show an interest in the smallest room they offer and once they have told you the cost of, then ask that they give the larger room for the same price. This will often save you thousands a year.
nursing home
These people charge by the day and are heavily regulated. But it pays to shop around. Most people get into nursing homes / rehab hospitals when they are discharged from a hospital. The hospital has a person that is supposed to help you with the transition, and they often recommend certain homes that they have a relationship with…or your doctor may work in certain nursing homes and want to discharge your parent to the place they want them to go to (usually those places are paying the doctor and this is a secondary income for him/her).
Often the hospital will TELL you were they are sending your parent, hoping you will be sufficiently docile and not challenge them. But it is strictly up to you what nursing home your parent goes to. Not the hosptial's nor the doctor's. But make sure you are prepared: as soon as your parent is admitted to the hospital start shopping nursing homes. Just walk into them and ask to speak to someone about bringing your mom or dad. Ask them what their basic daily rate is. They will say one of two things: They will either say, it doesn’t matter Medicare pays 100% or they will say it depends on what services your mom or dad need. (both are smoke screens). You want to know their daily base rate (never mind the extras it's too confusing). The reason you are asking, is if your mom or dad needs a few days beyond their Medicare days, they will want to bill you directly and you want to compare and use the one with the lowest daily base rate.

Tip: Just because a nursing home is newer doesn't mean it's good. Some of the best care I have seen was in older established nursing homes. Two big clues: smells, and yelling. You don't want to experience either one when touring.

Then when your mom or dad is getting discharged, and the hospital discharge planner (social worker) tells you where they are sending them you simply say…no, I want them to go here: name your place Better yet, when you have decided on which nursing home, let them deal with the hospital (it's in their interest to fight for you). Finally, the hospital's last line of defense will be your parent's doctor who may say, but if you go to that nursing home, I cannot follow them. Your response should then be, that’s ok, as soon as they are discharged we will come by your office, and perhaps you can talk to the doctor at the nursing home and coordinate a care plan for mom or dad. (The only reason a doctor would say no, is they are being cheap because they cannot bill Medicare for the consultation).
This is a lot of information, and an example of the stuff you will find on the membership site where you will be able to selectively choose the material you need and ignore the rest. Not to mention that there will be a deeper explanation as well as some advocacy tools that you can access to make all this as simple as possible.

2010-10-08T21:21:00.000-07:00

Alzheimer's Secret #3: They are lying to you.

When you are caring for a parent or spouse with Alzheimer's I expect you are looking for guidance from professionals like me. Unfortunately, I can tell you unequivocally, whoever is giving you advice is coming from a very self-serving place. Be warned, they have an agenda, and if it matches yours, well that’s just a happy coincidence. Because they will do their best to twist the particulars of your circumstances to convince you of what they want you to believe.

Whatever your goals are for you and your loved one; keeping your parents in their own home, or finding a community to move them into. When you go out into the marketplace to help you make your decision, you will often be met with thinly disguised sales people. They may call themselves placement counselors, or family liaisons, but their sincere advice is rarely motivated by what's best for you, and more likely what's best for them. I have sat in the training classes that teach us how create anxiety in such a way that the best solution is the one we want you take. Often, they consciously steer you away from alternatives that serve your goals, and emphasize the parts that support their goals.

I am sure this has happened to you already. You may have suspected it, but you may not have wanted to give people the impression that you were a paranoid jerk. So maybe you nodded, and heard them out, and you walked away feeling like something important was left out of the conversation. It was.

Let me explain it this way: Where do you go when you are trying to decide on how best to care for your parents? A marketing director of an assisted living or board and care? A placement counselor for a home health agency? Maybe your parent is in the hospital and the discharge planner is helping you figure out what to do with mom or dad when they are discharged? Each one of those people, whether they even realize themselves, is going to try to convince you that what they are selling/suggesting is what is best for you. And in a lot of cases the size of their paycheck depends on their success.

"Surely my doctor is honest"? Most doctors try to be non-committal in non-medical matters, but if they do express an opinion, it is to send you to one of the people I just mentioned above.

Look these folk may be genuinely sincere, and even believe what they are telling you. But their bias is built into how they think. For example, when I was a marketing director of an assisted living, I believed that the best course that any family could take, was to let us provide the care for their parent, so they could enjoy their parents and not have to worry about them. Keeping a frail adult, was a risky proposition, and hiring help around the clock was cost prohibitive. Conversely, when my friend talked about aging in place, she sincerely believed that you should keep your parent at home as long as possible, and hiring aides and companions is the best for all concerned, and in keeping with their wishes.

You could put both of us on a lie detector and it would say we were both telling the truth - even though we were saying the opposite things. The same is true for every professional out there (except one, and I will fill you in on that in a moment)

Of course that’s the best case scenario. I can also tell you that I know of many nursing home discharge planners and hospital discharge planners that get a kick-back whenever they can convince you to move your parent into a board and care home that they are recommending.

So who are you going to believe? You have to decide that for yourself. When you are caring for a parent you must plan ahead. One thing that I tell adult children all the time is…what is the one thing that you absolutely do not want to do? Change your mother when she is bowel incontinent? Give your father a shower when in his mind he sees you as his young wife, rather his older daughter? Or is it simply when you have to physically transfer them from the bed to a wheelchair? If you have a line in the sand that you can draw, good for you. The point is only you know what is best for you and your parent.

Here's a big head start on figuring out where you want to draw the line: go to this site and get my pre-planning assessment for free at http://www.easycaregiving.com/DementiaAssessment and download the .pdf document. you are going to need it anyway, and there is a good chance that filling it out will bring up important questions for you to consider.

Which brings me to that one professional that will listen to your story and advise you based on you and your parent's wishes not according their job description. A geriatric care manager. (with one stipulation: make sure they don't work for a company that also provides home health workers because then you have that personal agenda thing again). An independent Care Manager will offer advice based on your needs and wishes, nothing else. You can take what they tell you to the bank because they serve no other master but YOU their client.

As a caregiver coach, and care manager, I can assure you that while my paycheck does depend on you, meeting your goals is my only concern. With the added bonus, a good care manager will give you options that you had not even thought of! And after all isn't that want you want? Someone who knows the system inside and out?

Have you ever wondered why you rarely hear about Geriatric Care Managers? It's because nobody wants you have that kind of firepower at your side. They prefer you to be malleable and open their sales pitch. To find out more about care management and caregiver coaching please go to CAREGIVER COACHING and read up on it. Trust yourself, a small investment with a coach or care manager will save you hundreds if not thousands of dollars.

Alzheimer's Secret #2: Yes The Are After Your Money

2010-09-29T20:32:00.000-07:00

According the Alzheimer's Association report for 2010, caregivers will have 172 billion dollars of expenses in 2010 alone. That’s 1000 super lotto's combined, and there are people that want a piece of that big juicy pie. Businesses are lining up to get your money, and with little exception they don't care about what is best for you and your loved one. I will explain that in detail on Alzheimer's Secret #3. For now, just know that Medicare and Medicaid attract a lot of bad people looking to make money off of you and our crippled health care system.
Remember "Caveat Emptor" (Buyer Beware). As a caregiver you are going be dealing with the following three businesses: durable medical equipment companies, home health care agencies and adult day care centers. Let's talk about them:
DME (durable medical equipment) companies sell things like hospital beds, scooters and wheelchairs, walkers, and shower chairs. All of these things are paid for by the government. A doctor writes an order for it, just like he writes a prescription, and they deliver it to your door. Great if you need it…but easy to bilk the government. For example, I know of a DME that was giving those expensive memory foam mattresses to people and charging the government! Yes, I am talking about those mattresses that you and I can't afford because they start at around $4,000. They were getting delivered to every Tom, Dick and Harry that had a doctor's order for it and sneaky devils were teaching the doctors what to write to justify it. Medicare eventually closed that loophole.
Nevertheless back to you; if you are thinking of getting a walker, hospital bed, etc., ask your doctor to write an order for it. Even if you want the nice walker with the handbrakes and the bench to sit on, it is covered by Medicare. But to be on the safe side, you may want to talk to a medical equipment provider (often a pharmacy), and ask them what the doctor's order should say so you can get the "good" walker. But do NOT go out buy one yourself until you have at least asked a doctor for it.
Home health care companies seem to be everywhere. There's a reason - they are making a killing off of you. If you are at home taking care of loved one, and you decide to hire help. Shop around! The price variation is wide, and when it comes to hiring help in the home, "you get what you pay for" rarely applies. The real trick to hiring home help is hiring at the right level. You should not expect a simple paid caregiver or companion to give medications, yet you should not hire a nurse or even a nurse assistant to give showers or take your parent to a medical appointment. If you are dealing with Alzheimer's, you should reevaluate your care needs at least every 6 months. A geriatric care manager can help you with this. And over time, it will save you a lot more money than you are paying the care manager.
Adult Day Care and Adult Health Day Care, sound the same, but are very different. Adult Day Care provides more of a social environment for your parent, and is less expensive. $25 - $70 per day. However both types generally offer a sliding scale payment, so it's worth negotiating. Adult Health Day Care on the other has added services. They can handle incontinence, they often have a licensed nurse on staff, and other medical professionals. They charge more money, but often Medicaid will pay for some or all your care there. But if you don't need incontinence are or diabetic care, then save yourself money.
However, if you are nearing the end of your rope and you feel that your parent can get better help and socialization in an Assisted Living community, and you can't afford a private geriatric care manager to find the best one for your circumstances there is a great free service from A Place For Mom: Free Referral Service
As an administrator for over a decade I have dealt with a lot of placement agencies, A Place For Mom is hands down the best. They are completely respectful of your time and your budget. Even if you are in the early stages, they will not rush you. They listen...which is a rare thing these days.
Here's link to their services:

#1 Alzheimer’s Secret: “Almost nobody tells the truth”

2010-09-24T23:37:00.000-07:00

Thus we start a series of the Alzheimer’s Secrets. We are going to talk about the stuff nobody tells you. The big grey elephant in the living room. No more fluff, no more beating around the bush, no more pretending everything is ok. Its not. And if its going to get better we need to acknowledge it and address it. If you have a great hunkydorie experience as a caregiver, these next few week are not for you.

#1 Nobody is telling you the truth about Alzheimer’s

Go to any number of online forums for caregivers, and you will read over and over again how the caregiver is at the end of their rope: financially and emotionally!
A quick look at any one of the many caregiver forum websites and you will see comments like this:

“How do I approach the subject of assisted living with my brother and sister? Mom gets angry at everyone and everything that is not done the way she wants it. I want my life back. I have sacrificed 15 years for her with no appreciation.”

“I hate the way most doctors pass the buck and will not commit to any answers. I just want a straight answer for once! If this is the end I want to know what to expect and what kind of time frame.”

“Dad is horribly depressed and just can’t seem to get moving. I honestly don’t know what to do. I want to be there for him, but I get so frustrated when I go over to his house. He just doesn’t seem to want to “help himself”. It gets so that I almost cringe when I see his number on caller id because it’s depressing me to be around him.”

This is the norm! And let’s face it, there is little or no help out there. Not from the government, not even from your family. They are fast and loose with advice about what you should do, but they don’t get it, because they are not living it 24/7 like you are. So, you have no help, not even financial, and most of your friends have seemingly moved on too. Who can blame them, right?
Granted, this sounds terribly negative. But I bet most people agree with me than disagree. A lot more!

Look, there IS help out there. There ARE solutions. But they are hard to find, and your circumstances really are unique! So the solution has to be hand tailored to your situation.
If you found my website recently it is probably because of the free Geriatric Assessment that I am offering. I hope you downloaded it, and to get the most out you should watch the videos. More importantly, make an effort to reach me. You would be surprised how many people do not even try. They are desperate for help but if its free it must not be any good, or be “common knowledge that I can figure out on my own”.

If you are new here, or did not get the assessment form: Go Here For Your Free Geriatric Care Assessment Form, and videos explaining it

A Last Will and Testament is perhaps the most important legal estate planning document the average American will ever sign. Yet, over seventy percent of all American Adults have not filed any form of estate plan, including any Last Will and Testament Documentation.

We created Create My Will.com to provide an easy and affordable solution for everyone to receive all of the documents needed for their estate planning, including the Last Will and Testament Forms. We took the time to also create estate planning attorney authorized guides to help walk you through the process of filling out your Last Will and Testament.

New Vistas for Alzheimer's Care: Caring for the Caregiver

2010-09-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

COACHING FOR CAREGIVERS

Caregiver Coaching is a more versatile way to provide Care Management. Traditional Care Management is limited to the care and supervision of your older family member who is incapacitated. Typical uses of Care Management are:

Facilitating medical appointments, conversations with medical professionals, interpreting and explaining doctor’s orders and recommending other medical interventions and treatments.
Hiring and supervising private caregivers for your family member, knowing what level of training a caregiver should have based on the current care needs, and saving you money by structuring caregiver schedules.
When placement is needed, care managers will find the best community for your loved one so that their needs, both physical and social are going to be best met. Negotiating the price, they can also provide follow up supervision to mediate between the family and the facility when complaints or concerns are expressed. (ask your friends who have their parent in home how valuable that is)
Care managers can save you a lot of money when there is a significant amount of savings/pension/stocks and bonds that you do not want to lose paying for care and treatment that the government gives to other people. They know the best elder-law attorneys and investment counselors. Even if the only asset is a home, care management is a wise investment.
And all the other services and needs listed above in the description of the assessment.

My caregiver coaching provides all that, plus I am always tempering my recommendations with you, the caregiver in mind. Your well-being, financial, physical, and emotional are paramount and embedded in all of my actions and recommendations. Caregivers, often working alone struggle with the day-to-day decline and difficulties of the care of their loved one. With a Coach, you will never be forgotten or fade into the background.

Before you were a caregiver you had plans and dreams and goals. They need to stay on the front burner, and a Coach knows how to do it. You should not have to wait years to start living your life again. You will be nurtured and you receive concierge like guidance to make caregiving as easy and painless as possible.

Better yet, you don’t have to be rich to get this service. You can get private caregiver coaching with as little as a couple of hours per week.
Imagine, you have had another rough night with your Alzheimer’s suffering Mom or Dad (or even spouse in many cases), your phone rings and there is your personal Coach who is concerned for YOU, and who can listen to what you are going through, and then give you the perfect solution that had been eluding you?

Imagine your loved one has declined again, and now there is a new behavior or problem that you are not familiar with: incontinence, wandering, abusiveness, etc. Why wait for doctors appointment, that in all likelihood will only get you a medication change, or wait for a support group meeting that is 2 weeks away. Thirty minutes on the phone with your Coach may be all that you need to get a solution or tool that will address the issues.

When you invest in coaching you are actually saving money and maximizing your health care expenses. For rates please check here:

Caregiver Coaching Rates

Cool Websites To Speed Your Learning Curve Along

2010-09-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

Everything That Makes Your Life Easier

Ever go to the doctor, and get a bunch of mumbo jumbo? You are hoping for a simple explanation, but it's like they are getting paid by the syllable?

On the other hand you may have the best family physician, Would help if you could follow his or her descriptions better?

Or have you ever gotten a medical report and had some medical terms or conditions on that you were not sure exactly what it meant?

Here is a super simple tutorial on medical terms:
"Understanding Medical Words
This is brought to you by the NIH National Institutes of Health and its F.R.E.E. and no sales pitch.

**********

We talk a lot about the dangers of stress. It's practically my mission in life to get caregivers to de-stress their life. Well Medline Plus does it better than I. Here is an excellent tutorial from X-plain.com. It's even narrated:"Patient Education Institute"

**********

Better yet, here are about 50 separate videos from the NIH Senior Health people on a variety of topics from Alzheimer's to Osteoarthritis The NIH: Video List

You will find a wide variety of conditions here: Dry Mouth, Prostrate Cancer, Diabetes, Kidney Disease and much more.

************

How often have you thought about making a Will or a Living Will but were put off by the complexity of it, having to find a lawyer, etc.? Here is a super simple website:

CREATE MY WILL.COM

As seen on CNN, MSNBC and USA Today

************

Disabled Adaptive Clothing: Alzheimers, Arhritius, Parkeinson's. Even Shoes!

SILVERTS: HARD TO FIND WEARABLE CLOTHING

Caregivers: Get a $350 Assessment for FREE

2010-09-16T13:23:00.000-07:00

Check out the free dementia assessment tool that I am giving away. Its a $350 value and comes with 3 videos that explain how to fill it out. Ideal for someone taking care of a parent or spouse diagnosed with Alzheimer's: You can get a copy at
Caregiver Assessment Tool

SECONDLY:

There come a time in the progression of this illness, when you might have to make difficult choices. Probably the worst is considering placement. This is a very tough decision, and is different for everyone. Factors include: burnout, finances, care needs, and ultimately what is best for your loved one.
Granted, no one loves your mom or dad like you do. But there may be a time when you cannot provide them with enough care or stimulation. While you cannot stop the progress of this illness, you CAN slow it down. Assisted living communities have given researchers the evidence, that with daily regime of exercise (fine motor skills, gross motor movement) and stimulation (verbal, visual and auditory) you can slow it down!

Personal reasoning aside, choosing a community can be a difficult process. And you only want to have to do it once. Picking the wrong one and then going through the process of moving again can be very time consuming.

As an executive director of assisted living communities, I can tell you about "referral agencies". They are great because you give them all your information (locations, price range, etc.), and they will help you by narrowing down your choices. Best of all they are free to you! (We end up paying them for the referral, but its worth it to us). In all my years, one national company stands head and shoulders above the others: A Place For Mom.

What you don't know, is some 'free' referral agencies, will give you a short list, but blast your information to every home in the city, and you end up being bombarded with marketing calls. They do this so that they are assured that no matter where you go, they will make money. A Place For Mom does not do that. They are very personable, and efficient. They will hold your hand through the whole process and never let go. I think I speak for a lot of administrators and families when I say this.

Fight or Flight: The Result is The Same

2010-08-29T22:09:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing in common for all caregivers it's STRESS! It doesn't seem to matter if you are caring for a parent or spouse or friend; if you are doing it long-distance or you are living in the same house - all caregivers suffer from stress. Call it "worry" , "anxiety", "fear" or any other word, the result is the same.
By result I mean the toll it is taking on your body and on your health. It is proven that long-term stress triggers the HPA response in your body. The HPA response refers to the Hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis. The end result of which is a triggering of the same hormones and neurotransmitters that are released in the "fight or flight" response.
"Fight or Flight" is the bodies emergency response system designed to survive an immediate threat to life and limb. Which is great, except when it does not turn off. The same response system when left on too long starts to eat away at our immune system, thus increasing the chance of catching colds, flu, and other illness. But that is only the beginning. it also starts tearing away at the body so that what helps us in the short term, starts damaging us in the long run, increasing our chances for heart attack, stroke, diabetes, and much more.
Almost every caregiver I ever met, was a caregiver for the first time, on a steep learning curve, and was thrust into the roll unexpectedly. Naturally, it is very stressful: financially, emotionally, and physically. It strains family relationships and disrupts plans and goals.
However, caregivers must remember to take care of themselves. If you are a caregiver you are probably struggling on your own, with little or no help. But if something should happen to you what will happen to your loved one? Do you see why controlling stress is so important. Half of all caregivers pass away before the person they caring for. I don't mean to be an alarmist, but you need to start taking better care of yourself.
How? By taking advantage of all the programs and services that are available for caregivers. Many of them for little or no money. You may be an expert in your field. But I am an expert in this field. If you need to do taxes you go to an accountant, if you go to court you need a lawyer, if you are building a home you go to a contractor. Why would you try to delve into the world of caregiving without guidance?
Do you know how much money you are losing going it alone? First, there are services, products and ideas that you missed because you did not know about them, then there are the cheaper (and sometimes better) alternatives to the things you DO know about, and finally there is the value of all the lost time you spent researching the tasks and services that you did find.
Consider signing up www.EasyCaregiving.com . You may very well be glad you did, and if you learn nothing new or helpful, it cost you nothing to look. In addition, as a Gerontologist, I have website with free membership: SIGN UP Just put your name and email address and get a free stress management recording that can de-stress your day to day frustrations. Later you will get a free ebook on how to handle "sundowning" or wandering, a very dangerous symptom that happens to about 70% of Alzheimer's sufferers.

Stress Is Not Permanent, It Only Feels That Way

2010-08-12T23:47:00.000-07:00

take 2 minutes, sit back and let a little tension dissolve:

If you liked that, you can jump over to StopStressCold.com and check out some great articles on anxiety, hypnosis, stress management and more. I know the author, tell him Donahue sent you!

Assisted Living: taking my own advice

2010-07-16T22:19:00.000-07:00

A PLACE FOR MOM is a national referral agency. As an executive director of a large assisted living, I am contracted with about a dozen different agencies like this one.

My dad, who is on a limited budget and cannot afford to live in my building (how's that for irony), was begging me to help him find a new place where the weather is not so hot. He has a sister in Central California, but I did not know anything about communities that far away. So I contacted A Place For Mom as a client, and the shoe was on the other foot, so to speak. I cannot tell you how pleasant the experience was! I did nothing special, I just went on the website, and followed the prompts, and answered the questions.

A very nice counselor called and emailed me, she was not pushy, she listened carefully, and on Wednesday I took my dad to the train station to go see the places that were recommended. My dad returned on Friday, and reported a wonderful experience.
Whether he moves or not is a story that remains to be seen. But I have to share with you that I can with confidence refer you to A Place For Mom

Going Home (A short film on Dementia)

2010-07-08T14:22:00.000-07:00

Please take a moment and sign up on my free mailing list to the right of this page. I hope you liked this little movie. It won some awards, i think it was done by college students.

Touching Video - "Going Home"

2010-07-08T14:17:00.000-07:00

This video won some awards, it does a very good job of showing the very earliest stages of Alzheimer's.

If you like this please sign up to get on my mailing list to the right of this page.

and please leave comments or ask questions.

Alzheimer's Getting Worse?

2010-06-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

No not you. Your loved one, the person you are caring for? Why do I ask? Because in the beginning, we think we can manage. Maybe we can slow it down, but then the little changes add up, and now it's a lot different. We may even be seeing the limits of our ability to provide the proper care on the horizon. And we are having the little nagging thoughts that maybe it would be best if mom/dad/husband/wife were in a place where they can keep him/her safe.
But maybe you promised never to put them in one of those places? Maybe they are too "with it" to accept placement? Maybe you want to wait just a little longer? At some point, and only you know that place, you are going to either concede that the ability to provide proper care is beyond you, or you are going to start rationalizing excuses.
I don't want to burst your bubble, rain on your parade, but I don't want you to burn out either. Because with burn out very often come serious illness. And the truth is there are places where they provide the care, the environment, and the safety that your family member needs. Imagine that a board and care is providing for your loved ones needs, so you are free to just spend quality time with them?
By the way, for those of you that are here at this blog for the first time, my name is Donahue Vanderhider, I am a Gerontologist. A big word for "expert on aging". My training is from the first doctorate program ever started, which is at the University of Southern California and almost 20 years in the field. I have been on the speakers bureau of the Alzheimer's Association for much of that time, and I have been the executive director of several licensed assisted living communities in California.
I am telling you all this, because I have seen and counseled hundreds of families like yours. Sadly, I see the inevitable conclusion, and I want to help you make the most of your time with your loved one. You may be presenting a tough exterior to the world, but I know that deep down your heart is breaking. And maybe you feel that you have to in order to keep going day in and day out without breaking down. I understand, it's no surprise that they say caregiving is the most stressful thing you can experience.
But I want to help, and I offer you this: if you have a question, ask it! If you want to share your experience, by all means do so right here! Many people will see it. In the coming weeks I will be launching a podcast for families. Because there is no point in reinventing the wheel. Sign up and get some great guidance. Please stay in touch, if you want to be notified sign up on that form to your right -->

Finally, I don't want to end without making a pitch for an organization that I have known since they started. As an executive director I have see many families find the right place for their loved one through this organization:A Place For Mom It is a free service to families (if you pick a community they will pay "A place for mom" its SOP (standard operating procedure). But you will never pay a cent. In fact, people that use placement agencies often get a lower rate.
Talk to you (literally) very soon...

We All Have ONE Thing In Common

2010-06-14T21:17:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing in common for all caregivers it's STRESS! It doesn't seem to matter if you are caring for a parent or spouse or friend; if you are doing it long-distance or you are living in the same house - all caregivers suffer from stress. Call it "worry" , "anxiety", "fear" or any other word, the result is the same.

By result I mean the toll it is taking on your body and on your health. It is proven that long-term stress triggers the HPA response in your body. The HPA response refers to the Hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis. The end result of which is a triggering of the same hormones and neurotransmitters that are released in the "fight or flight" response.

"Fight or Flight" is the bodies emergency response system designed to survive an immediate threat to life and limb. Which is great, except when it does not turn off. The same response system when left on too long starts to eat away at our immune system, thus increasing the chance of catching colds, flus, and other illness. But that is only the beginning. it also starts tearing away at the body so that what helps us in the short term, starts damaging us in the long run, increasing our chances for heart attack, stroke, diabetes, and much more.

Almost every caregiver I ever met, was a caregiver for the first time, on a steep learning curve, and was thrust into the roll unexpectedly. Naturally, it is very stressful: financially, emotionally, and physically. It strains family relationships and disrupts plans and goals.

However, caregivers must remember to take care of themselves. If you are a caregiver you are probably struggling on your own, with little or no help. But if something should happen to you what will happen to your loved one? Do you see why controlling stress is so important. Half of all caregivers pass away before the person they caring for. I don't mean to be an alarmist, but you need to start taking better care of yourself.

How? By taking advantage of all the programs and services that are available for caregivers. Many of them for little or no money. You may be an expert in your field. But I am an expert in this field. If you need to do taxes you go to an accountant, if you go to court you need a lawyer, if you are building a home you go to a contractor. Why would you try to delve into the world of caregiving without guidance?

Do you know how much money you are losing going it alone? First, there are services, products and ideas that you missed because you did not know about them, then there are the cheaper (and sometimes better) alternatives to the things you DO know about, and finally there is the value of all the lost time you spent researching the tasks and services that you did find.

Consider signing up for my mailing list as part of that research. You may very well be glad you did, and if you learn nothing new or helpful, it cost you nothing. Just sign up above right now and get a free stress management recording that can de-stress your day to day frustrations. Later you will get a free ebook on how to handle "sundowning" or wandering, a very dangerous symptom that happens to about 70% of Alzheimer's sufferers.

2010-06-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

Are you caring for one or both of your parents? Chances are, if they are still with us, then you are or you will very very soon. If you are living with them, or they are living with you the answer is easy – yes. But be honest, even if they are not living with you, how much are doing for them right now? Is it more than you were doing a year ago? It’s a good chance that if your parents are alive you are going to get pulled into their world more than you ever planed. It is the nature of family to assist our elders when they start to get frail. But there is a point when it starts to take over our lives. What starts out as an occasional shopping trip starts to become…more. Pretty soon you are finding your plans always taking into account mom or dad. You may already feel stretched thin, maybe even a little bit resentful.

So now we are looking at two groups. The dedicated, committed caregiver of which there are over 10 million in the US. That’s right 10.9 million unpaid caregivers as of this year 2010. If you are one, do yourself a favor, seriously, sign up on my website, sign up on someone elses website, but stop trying to do it alone. There are people out there trying to help you.

Then there is the other group. Those of you that are weekend parents to your parents. You are doing the little things, helping them fill prescriptions, get new hearing aides, take them out for a meal, etc. But its getting worse isn’t it? Are you getting the phone calls every day? You will. Are you setting up their pills in those weekly containers? You will. Are you thinking they could benefit from one of those senior homes that provide companionship and care? you will. You will do all that and more. Because if your parents are alive, they are going to need help, they are not as independent as they used to be, and it gets worse. When you were not looking, you became a parent to your parents.

It is time to do something. Whatever you are doing for your folks, I can almost guarantee that you’re working harder than you have to, and you’re spending more money than have to, and for every idea you have, somebody else thought about and perfected it! Look, you are on internet as you read this, right? Everything you could imagine is here. But its a big place. It could take you a while to find what you need, and you might miss some good stuff altogether. You found this article, and that’s a good start. Why don’t you take me up on my offer: sign up for my list. I will send you nothing but the best information, on just about any subject that has to do with aging, parents, caregiving, dementia, and much much more.

Boomers Focusing on Health Care

2010-05-16T20:44:00.000-07:00

Please sign up to be the first to get articles like this ----->

Taking care of our health has become a national obsession. A large part of it has to do with the mind-frame of the Baby Boomers. By now we are all aware of this huge bulge in the population called the Baby Boomer Generation. “Boomers” are that group of people born between 1946 and 1964. They are the largest generation in all of human history, and it does not look like following generations are going to have the same impact Boomers have had on world and national culture. The boomers have affected culture at every decade of their lives, and without a doubt, you can attribute our current health consciousness to the Boomers as well.
Looking at history: in the 1960's we experienced lots of elementary school construction; teachers were in huge demand, and class sizes were growing in leaps and bounds. TV shows for children became popular, like Howdy Doodie and Captain Kangaroo. Cartoons became the Saturday morning television staple. Then when the Boomers hit their teens, we were in the middle of the Viet Nam War, kids that were not fighting, were protesting. Music took a major turn: the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, the Doors, etc. changed music forever. Then in the late 70's we saw the rise of the DINKs: double-income no kids. Life was about making money and lots of it. The Boomers were working age, and saving and home buying became the trend. Finally, in the 80's when we thought the boomers had given up on children, women started having children in their late 30's as their biological clocks started ticking. Today the leading edge of the baby boomer generation is hitting retirement age, and preserving ones health and youth are the national obsessions.
Now we take supplements, all our food has nutritional labels; we watch our cholesterol and fat intake. We frown on smoking, and while we may not do it, we think about exercise. But are we missing the forest for the trees! You can take the physical benefits from quitting smoking, taking vitamins and supplements, sipping green tea, and everything else and add it up, and it will not come close to the benefits that you get from reducing stress from your life.
In a nutshell, stress is physiological condition (not an emotion), it activates the HPA system in your body (the hypothalamus, pituitary, and adrenal glands) similar to the flight or fight response, it alters our body chemistry by releasing hormones and neurochemicals designed to preserve our bodies in an emergency. It is a survival mechanism. As such, it is not supposed to be "ON" all of the time. However, when we are constantly in stressful situations that is exactly what we are doing. The danger in this is, if the HPA system is active for too long, the same mechanism for survival starts tearing the body down. In fact, the last 20 years of research has found that long-term stress practically doubles your chance for heart attacks, stroke, diabetes, along with increasing the incidence of catching colds, flu's, even pneumonia. Now, add every autoimmune illness you can think of (lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis, fibromyalgia, etc.).
Therefore, if you want to extend your life, and stay healthy long into your later years, exercise and healthy diets are not enough. You had better start throwing some effort into turning the HPA system "OFF"!
Do you like to read? Do you enjoy music? Have you been putting off joining or going to the gym? Gardening is a great stress reducer, or just taking a 20-minute walk in the evening will be so refreshing. Right now, before you do anything else, take a hard look at what's disturbing you. Identify what causes YOUR stress, and then learn what you need to do to get rid of it. If you are a caregiver for a parent that is chronically ill, you can start at http://www.easycaregiving.com, if you have work issues or anxiety attacks check out http://stopstresscold.com. Or if you have an inkling of what you need to do, DO IT. Half of all caregivers die before the caring for. Strokes are double for people with high blood pressure. I think it is a safe bet that you not only want to live a long time, but you want that time to be quality and healthy time.

Wonderful Tool For Stressed Out Caregivers: And Its Free

2010-04-26T21:14:00.000-07:00

www.HealthManager.MayoClinic.com
This is a wonderful site that will keep and store all of your medical information and/or those of your family. It is very comprehensive. They even answer health questions by top doctors and the site is very proactive in recommending test and screenings.
Best part it is FREE.

Powered by Microsoft HealthVault.
Another great resource: www.google.com/health If you have a google account it’s a piece of cake. But if not, you can easily sign up and then sign on. This service is alsototally free, and soooo comprehensive! I challenge you to come up with something that they don’t do. Everything from health record storage to appointment reminders to doctor recommendations.
Finally, if you like those, please come to my site and sign up for my newsleter which has many more great tips: www.EasyCaregiving.com

You heard this before: Caring for the caregiver...

2010-01-24T14:17:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share something I just found on the Caring Today website:

Putting Yourself First
Most caregivers are better at caring for others than themselves, says Tammy Pozerycki, MS, LSW, a social worker and director of admissions at Eliot Healthcare Center in Natick, Massachusetts. When your priority is the person you're caring for instead of yourself, it's only natural that you let some things slide. But problems arise when you start skipping your own doctor appointments and abandoning healthy eating, sleeping and exercise habits. This is especially problematic for live-in caregivers, she says. "For these folks, caregiving has gone way beyond a full-time job: It's 24/7."

"It sounds harsh, but I tell people this: If you don't take care of yourself, you're going to die," says Schultz. "We know that a big percentage of caregivers over the age of 55 will die before the person they're caring for—and not because of some pre-existing condition. It's because they stop taking care of themselves."

This is good advice for caregivers of any age, adds June Lundy, a counselor at East Valley Regional Cancer Center in Chandler, Arizona. "It's just like they tell you on the airplane: You have to put the oxygen on yourself first before you help someone else."

Please check the following sites for more information on Alzheimer's and Caregiving for Alzheimer's

www.easycaregiving.com
www.caregiverrelief.wordpress.com
www.caregiverrelief.com

Understanding difficult behaviors in Alzheimer's: Bathing, Wandering

2010-01-09T23:08:00.000-08:00

If you have been here before and have not signed up for my FREE (but infrequent) newsletter, before you continue, please jump over to WWW.EASYCAREGIVING.COM and sign up, it will take you less than a minute. But I have an even better offer for you: You are about read about How to understand and cope with bathing problems. However, I have also prepared a special pdf eBook on understanding and coping with wandering and sundowning behavior.a special pdf eBook on understanding and coping with wandering and sundowning behavior. Now on with the bathing article:

Part three of our series is about problems with bathing. Bathing is almost universally a dreaded caregiver chore. I have never seen the slightest bit of research to prove this next statement, but I believe hydrophobia is a real symptom of Alzheimer’s. I say that because I cannot recall a single Alzheimer’s patient that did not fight taking a bath or a shower, tooth and nail. Starting even in the early stages they make excuses like; “I just took a bath”, “I don’t need it”, “I don’t need help”. In the later stages they don’t even bother to make excuses, they just refuse. Even if you are able to get them into the shower, it’s not unusual for them to physically resist by yelling, scratching, punching and even biting.

Nevertheless, it is possible to get your loved one peacefully into the shower. It’s just a matter of taking your time and figuring out what about getting in the bath or shower is affecting them and then developing some unique tricks that will make the process manageable. However, the key to this whole problem is realizing that it you need set aside a lot more time than you would expect.

You are about to read one of the most comprehensive reports I have ever seen on the topic. I got this from a booklet in my library called “Understanding Difficult Behaviors: Some Practical Suggestions for Coping with Alzheimer’s disease and Related Illnesses”. However, before we get started, did you sign up yet to be included in my FREE mail list? Please go to www.EasyCaregiving.com and you will find a sign up in the upper left corner. Additionally, you will get a FREE stress management download as soon as you sign up!

Problems with Bathing
I have a theory that Alzheimer’s sufferers are hydrophobic; afraid of water. I’ve never seen any literature talking about this, or any research to prove it. However, in all my years working with Alzheimer’s I have never seen a person that didn’t kick, scream and bite to avoid taking a shower. They will tell you that they just had one, or that they don’t need it. But never ever have I seen somebody look forward to taking one.

POSSIBLE CAUSES

Physiological or medical causes:

* Depression, causing a loss of interest in personal hygiene.
* Physical illness, causing a loss of interest in personal hygiene (e.g. flu, infections, etc.).
* Changed sense of perception of hot and cold water temperature. This may be caused by damage to the hypothalamus region of brain which regulates “internal thermostat.”
* Different sensation of water due to brain damage.

Environmental causes

* Poor lighting – unable to see the bathtub or shower.
* Can’t find the bathroom.
* Lack of privacy (especially in facilities)
* Room temperature too cold.
* Water too deep.
* Water too hot or cold.

Other Causes

* Fear of falling
* Fear of water or of being hurt by it.
* Disruption in daily routine or schedule.
* Unfamiliar caregivers.
* Mechanics of taking a bath too overwhelming.
* Purpose of bathing forgotten.
* Humiliation of being reminded to take a bath.
* Agitated from an upsetting situation, such as an argument with caregiver.
* Reeling of being rushed by caregiver.
* Feeling embarrassed and vulnerable about being naked or having another person in the bathroom.
* Fatigue.
* Fear of hair washing, which is no longer understood.
* Person kept waiting too long while caregiver prepares bath.
* Fear of soap, washcloth, sound of running water, etc.

COPING STRATEGIES

* Evaluate the best time of day for bathing. Try to be consistent with the person’s old bathing routine before the onset of the illness. For example, consider time of day when person is most relaxed, type of bathing (tub, shower, sponge bath, etc.).
* Make sure the bathroom is warm enough and inviting. Pull down blinds, or close curtains and doors to create a feeling of privacy.
* Provide adequate lighting in bathroom, especially during evening hours.
* Try bathing instructions written by a doctor on a prescription pad. For example “Bathe 2 or 3 times weekly.”
* Prepare bath ahead of time. Check the water level. Some people can only tolerate 1 inch of water in the tub; others 3-4 inches.
* Lay out soap, washcloth, towel and clean clothes in sequence so that the person with dementia won’t have to wait.
* Use quiet, calm, matter-of-fact approach. For example, “Mother, your bathwater is ready.”
* Avoid getting into length discussions about whether a bath is needed. Instead tell the person one step at a time what to do to get ready for the bath.
* Simplify task of bathing as much as possible. Do one step at a time, gently talking the person through each step. Combine visual and verbal cures when giving instructions. Use simple, respectful language.
* Try offering the person one or two choices. For example: “Would you like to have a bath or shower?” or “Would you like to take your bath now or before going to bed?”
* Try not to get nervous or excited or threaten the person who objects to taking a bath. This only causes additional agitation and frustration. It may be helpful to wait and try again later when the person’s mood is more favorable.
* Encourage a bath instead of a shower if person can get in and out of tub. Baths are generally safer, less frightening and easier for the caregiver to manage.
* Try showering with the person. Sometimes this is the simplest solution, although not all caregivers are in a position to do this.
* Let the person feel the water before getting into the tub. Sometimes gently pouring water over hands reassures the person that the water isn’t too hot. Saying something like “The water feels nice,” or “This feels good,” may help calm the person.
* Don’t bathe the person every day, if bathing continues to be difficult. A partial sponge bath daily and a full bath every three to four days may suffice.
* Try using a bath chart or calendar to indicate when bathes were given. For example, a caregiver might pint to a note or a sticker on a calendar to show the person that it has been three or four days since the last bath.
* Offer a “reward,” such as a favorite food or an activity like going for a drive in the car. This may be an effective way of cajoling the person into taking a bath. Having something to look forward to sometimes takes the focus off of the task.
* Try separating hair washing from bathing. Some people with dementia associate bathing with having their hair washed and become terribly upset, because water being poured over their head frightens them. Sometimes hair washing can be done separately in a beauty shop. Try a shower cap when bathing or it may be easier to wash hair in kitchen sink if there isn’t a spray attachment in the bathtub.
* Also try dry shampoo.

MAKING THE BATHROOM/PERSON SAFE

* As a safety precaution, adjust temperature setting on the hot water heater so that the water is not scalding (between 120 – 130 degrees F.).
* Since the person may have an altered sense of hot and cold, adjust the water temperature to his/her comfort.
* Avoid leaving an impaired person alone in the tub or shower.
* Remove locks from bathroom doors.
* Use plastic instead of glass containers in the bathtub.
* Make sure hairdryers, electric razors, etc., are out of reach.
* Use a non-slip bathmat on the floor outside the tub. Be sure there are no puddles of water on the floor.
* If Lubriderm or other oil is used, be careful of slippery residue on the tub.
* Put a rubber mat or non-skid decals on the bottom of the tub or shower.
* Install grab bars so that the person can get in and out of the tub easily. These bars can be mounted to the wall or they can clamp onto the side of the tub.
* A hand-held spray attachment on a flexible hose can convert a tub into a shower. The attachment can be helpful for rinsing the person thoroughly and makes washing hair much easier.
* Adjustable safety benches or bath chairs (which have holes in the seat so the water can drain) can be used in both tub or shower. These help make people feel more secure because they are sitting above the water. If safety benches aren’t available, try a kitchen chair. These assistive devices are available through medical supply houses, large drug store and department stores, and home health care catalogs. Medicare, Medicaid, or major medical insurance may pay all or part of the cost of equipment if ordered by a physician.
* Be sure that all parts of the body, especially the genital area, are thoroughly washed to avoid rashes and infections.
* Try giving the person with dementia a washcloth to hold or something to fiddle with for distraction while bathing.
* Play soft music in the background to create a calming and relaxing atmosphere.
* Wrap a towel around the shoulders of the person sitting in the tub and fasten with clothespin, if he/she is embarrassed about being undressed. It is important to respect the person’s privacy and dignity.
* Try tomato juice added to bathwater, if persistent body odor is a problem.
* Be sure the person is thoroughly dry. Use a refreshing after-bath scent and dry skin lotion to keep the skin moisturized. Baby powder can also be used.
* Remember, powder on the floor can be slippery. Cornstarch is an inexpensive odorless, non-allergic substitute for talcum powder.
* While the person is undressed, check the skin for rash or sores. If any red areas or sores appear, notify the doctor immediately. Pressure sores or decubitus ulcers can develop quickly on people who sit or lie down much or the time.
* Check the person’s toenails and trim them as necessary. Proper foot care is essential to prevent problems such as ingrown toenails. If trimming nails is difficult, have the person seen by a podiatrist.

IN LONG TERM CARE SETTINGS:

* Be sensitive to the approaches used when talking to residents about bathing.
* Try making the bath schedule flexible to accommodate the person’s mood.
* Allow plenty of time for individuals to relax and enjoy a quiet, peaceful bath.
* Train staff or family members who assist with bathing to allow people to do as much of the bathing themselves, whenever possible.
* Consider making the environment in the bathroom warm, familiar and private.
* Be aware that some people with dementia become quite upset when required to take a whirlpool bath. Institutional equipment such as whirlpool baths can be impersonal and terrifying.
* Avoid using commode chairs when giving showers. This practice encourages people to be incontinent when bathing.
* Avoid forcing or arguing with a person to take a bath when he/she is resistant. This only causes further agitation.

OTHER CONSIDERATIONS

* If a person is absolutely refusing a bath or a sponge bath and if his/her lack of hygiene is intolerable, consult a doctor. For some people medications may ease the anxiety. Use only with very careful supervision and as A LAST RESORT. (Sometimes these medications have side effects and occasionally they increase the agitation.)
* In the later stages of dementia when total assistance with personal care may be needed, meticulous and careful attention to hygiene is important in preventing skin breakdown. This becomes a major challenge for caregivers coping with urinary and bowel incontinence.
* Bathing is a very personal and private activity. Many people have never completely undressed in front of anyone else and this can be uncomfortable and vulnerable experience. Also, when a caregiver offers to help someone who is confused, it is a strong statement that the person is no longer able to do for him/herself. This loss of independence can be terribly difficult for people with dementing illnesses. It is important to recognize that these feelings may be contributing to some of the resistance to bathing.

Finally, don't let your personal habits dictate what is normal. A generation ago, most people did not bathe and change their clothes as often as we do today. Taking a bath once a week may have been the way the person did things in his/her home.

Now, since you didn't do it the previous two time asked - here's one final request: if you are a caregiver, if you nothing lose, a lot to gain from signing up at www.EasyCaregiving.com and go find some great information on www.caregiving.com
see you soon, Donahue

Learning to Relax with Anxiety: Alzheimer's Caregivers Need To Do This

2009-12-10T08:17:00.000-08:00

Learning to Relax with Anxiety

Many anxiety sufferers are learning the proper cognitive tools to overcome their anxiety. It isn’t easy. It takes commitment. Learning to relax with anxiety takes daily practice and commitment. Here are some relaxation tips to get you started:

1. Acceptance - Whatever we resist will persist. Try not to see yourself as fighting your anxiety. Instead, see yourself as moving toward your goal of relaxation.

2. Talk to someone - Many anxiety sufferers feel better almost immediately when they have a supportive person to talk with.

3. Knowledge - The more you know about your condition, the better equipped you’ll be. Things work better when we understand why we are doing them.

4. Breathing Techniques - Practice belly breathing. Breathe in to the count of 3 and out to the count of 4.

5. Meditation - Listen to guided meditation tapes or CDs.

6. Journal - Keep a notebook handy during the day, and when you recognize a “what if this happens?” thought forming, write it down. Review it later, when you are more relaxed. Ask the trigger question again, as if it were true. What would you do? Keeping a journal helps you discover possible hidden issues.

7. Take a nightly news vacation - Before bed, listen to relaxing music or read a book. If your habit is to watch the nightly news, try watching it first thing in the morning instead.

Learning to relax with anxiety will command your daily dedication. Be sure and celebrate even minor improvements. They are likely to be permanent ones!

Please make sure you jump over to www.EasyCaregiving.com and sign up for the FREE stress management CD, and you will automatically put on the newsletter notification list.

Prevent Burnout by using Adult Day Care

2009-11-19T21:23:00.000-08:00

If you are caregiver you may be struggling with exhaustion, frustration, and depression. You may be feeling that you have little support from friends and family and feeling that people do not understand the difficulty of what you do. Let’s face it; most people would not unless they walked in your shoes for a week. If you are a typical caregiver you are alone and it’s not easy. Given that, you need every break you can get. Fortunately, Adult Day Care Centers can be one of the best weapons in your arsenal. There are very few opportunities for you to get a break, so you should never pass up a chance to take one.

There are two general types. One is based on a medical model and the other on a social model. The medical model provides comprehensive medical, therapeutic, and rehabilitation day treatment. The social model offers supervised activities, peer support, companionship, and recreation. Both models assist older adults and those with chronic conditions to remain as independent as possible, for as long as possible.

Adult day care is a planned program of activities designed to promote well-being though social and health related services. Almost exclusively adult day cares are only open during the week, typically between 8am and 3 or 4pm, and they provide snacks in addition to a midday meal.

Adult day care offers a win/win situation for everyone in the family-not only for the member who attends the program, but also for the family member who has primary responsibility as caregiver. Adult day care provides a much-needed respite for the caregiver, affording a break from the physical demands and stress of providing “round-the-clock care.”

For the participant, adult day care’s benefits can be extensive:
* A safe, secure environment in which to spend the day
* Enjoyable and educational activities
* Improvement in mental and physical health
* Enhanced or maintained level of independence
* Socialization and peer support
* Nutritious meals and snacks

For the caregiver, adult day care’s benefits are equally important:
* Time for routine chores like shopping and banking
* Make time for ones own medical and dental needs
* Time for personal rest and recreations: exercise or naps
* Opportunity for household tasks and cleaning

A well-run adult day care center’s goals will focus on enriching the participants’ lives, building upon their skills, knowledge, and unique abilities and strengths. Below are some of the activities that may be available:
* Arts and crafts
* Musical entertainment and sing-a-longs
* Mental stimulation games such as BINGO
* Stretching or other gentle exercise
* Discussion groups (books, films, current events)
* Holiday and birthday celebrations
* Local Outings

Besides recreational activities, some adult day care centers provide transportation to and from the center, social services including counseling and support groups for caregivers, and health support services such as blood pressure monitoring and vision screening.

Finding the right one for you

The National Adult Day Services Association (NADSA) recommends you start by asking yourself what specific services both elder adult and caregiver most need. For the day care participant, are social activities primary? Assistance with walking, eating or medications? Mental stimulation? Exercise? As a caregiver, is support what you need most? Some free time? Answering these questions will help you determine which type of adult day care center can best serve you: social or health-focused.
In addition to the many references and resources to help locate adult day care centers in your area, you can also try:

* Your family doctor
* Local social services or health department
* Mental health centers
* Local senior centers
* Area Agency on Aging (Call 1-800-677-1116 for the Area Agency in your area)
* Yellow pages listings under Adult Day Care, Aging Services, and similar categories.
When you phone the center(s) that you are considering, NADSA suggests asking the following questions:
* Who owns or sponsors the agency?
* How long has it been operating?
* Is it licensed or certified? (if required in your State)
* What are the days and hours of operation?
* Is transportation to and from the center provided?
* Which conditions are accepted (memory loss, wheelchairs, incontinence)?
* What are the staff credentials, and what is the ratio of the staff to participants?
* What activities are offered? Are there a variety of individual and group programs?
* Are meals and snacks included? Are special diets accommodated?

Next, If you are a meticulous person, spend a day at the center that sounds best to you, so that you can get a “feel” for the people and environment. Be sure to bring a site checklist with you (see references and resources below). You may wish to go back a few times to see whether your experience on different days confirms your initial impressions.

To find out more about the specific adult day care centers where you live, you will want to contact your local aging information and assistance provider or area agency on aging. The Eldercare Locator, a public service of the Administration on Aging (at 1-800-677-1116)or www.eldercare.gov can help connect you to these agencies.
The National Adult Day Services Association is a good source for general information about adult day care centers and programs. They can help you link to a state adult day care association. It can be reached by calling the toll-free telephone number 1-866-890-7357 or by going to their website which you can find with a simple web search.

Some area agencies on aging have programs or link to services that assist older people obtain low-cost assistive technology. You can call the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 to locate your local triple A. In addition local civic groups, religious and veterans’ organizations, and senior centers may be able to refer you to assistive technology resources.

I hope this helps enough to get you started. This article is just a synopsis of a much longer eBook which will be included for subscribers of the CaregiverRelief newsletter. Find out more by checking out easycaregiving.com When you get there, take a look in the upper left-hand corner and sign up for the free stress management CD, and are automatically enrolled for the next newsletter and ton of other free stuff.
If this is your first time here and you want to read some of my published articles please go to How to Avoid ending up in Nursing Home and Caregiving is a Thankless task These are just longer versions of what has already been posted here.

Finally I want to shamelessly promote an amazing product called Resveratrol and refer you to the manufacturers of the most powerful compound I have found so far: Longevity RezV who graciously offer a free sample for those that find them through my link. It worth looking at the site if just to see the 60 minutes segment that they use on their home page.

thanks, Donahue

November is National Family Caregiver Month

2009-11-11T21:58:00.000-08:00

NATIONAL FAMILY CAREGIVERS MONTH, 2009
- - - - - - -
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
A PROCLAMATION

The true strength of the American family finds its roots in an unwavering commitment to care for one another. In difficult times, Americans come together to ensure our loved ones are comfortable and safe. Whether caring for a parent, relative, or child, our Nation's caregivers selflessly devote their time and energy to the well-being of those they look after. During National Family Caregivers Month, we honor the individuals providing essential services to family members who could not otherwise look after themselves.
Caregiver support is at the heart of my Administration's commitment to assisting our Nation's families. Currently, a variety of programs and services offer help and encouragement to family caregivers. The National Family Caregiver Support Program and the Lifespan Respite Care Act include important resources for caregivers of children and adults, with opportunities to receive much-needed assistance and take part in support programs with other families. These programs allow individuals to remain with their families for as long as possible while helping to ensure the wellness of participating care providers.
My Administration's dedication to caregivers is also embodied in our efforts to develop policies to support workers trying to manage their responsibilities on the job and at home. Families are best able to care for their loved ones when they can take time away from work without fear of losing their job or their income. We all have roles to play, including employers, by providing paid leave, flexible work arrangements, and other programs when feasible, to help ensure that caregivers are able to successfully meet their work and household responsibilities.
Every day, family caregivers assist loved ones with tasks ranging from personal care and homemaking, to transportation and financial assistance. As the foundation of America's long-term care system, these individuals give millions of Americans the peace of mind and security that only family can provide.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim November 2009 as National Family Caregivers Month. I encourage all Americans to pay tribute and support those who are caring for their family members, friends, and neighbors in need of assistance.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this thirtieth day of October, in the year of our Lord two thousand nine, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-fourth.

BARACK OBAMA

If you can identify with this proclamation, I want to give you a free stress management recording that you can listen to everyday and maybe avoid burning out. http://easycaregiving.com

Time to smile...watch here...

2009-10-15T06:29:00.000-07:00