Real Estate vs. Real Life

Housing Reflection: Summing Up

2012-01-11T09:56:00.000-08:00

I bought a tree for my husband's birthday. It's a dogwood. He sees it, in the woods or in a yard, and asks me its name nearly every time. "It's a dogwood", I say. He loves them, but can't remember the name, I think because they look different in every season.

To celebrate him and our new house, I got him a dogwood. It is small and spindly, but it will grow into something more beautiful with time. I hope to get to watch it grow here. We have arrived. We are home.

Where people live is a big deal, and where I live has not just been about safety and comfort, it has shaped my character. Here are some closing thoughts on this story:

Home is not a place.
Peace can be found during tumult through integrity.
Integrity requires fortitude.
I have more fortitude than I thought I did.
Trying harder sometimes won't make things better.
Failure is often a doorway to a better place.
Hope can be found in failure.

It is my wish to have passed a bit of the hope we have found, to you. Thank you for reading my story.

Broken Appliances

2011-11-22T13:45:00.001-08:00

Moving is a pain and a part of it is people are weird about their stuff. I'm going to complain a bit.

Number one, when we got to our new house last night to do a few chores, we realized that the dishwasher is not hooked up. I was lamenting during escrow that the appliances don't match (OCD) and when we arrived after escrow they did match. Funny? They put in a different dishwasher during escrow, just to fill the hole in the kitchen, it isn't even hooked up. Does it work? Why would someone do that? Arg. Maybe they put in one that does work and the other is broken, but I don't think people work that way.

The new place

Two, the heater in our rental. I know that I have not paid rent in a few months, which was nice of our landlords. Our heater has been broken this whole fall, and we have told our landlord, without expecting him to fix it. I know he wants to be done with this house. I know he doesn't want to spend any more money on it (me too), but I'm cold. I could pay for the furnace to be fixed, but it isn't my house, and we are moving out. I don't want to, but I'll still gripe about it.

Yesterday a 4th person made an offer on this house. Now our landlord wants to swing by and see if he can fix it. I have been cold a month. If it was important to fix it for a buyer, it is good to fix it for me.

Fortunately we have a gas insert in the kitchen that runs and can heat most of the house (key word "most"). It is warm enough if you wear several layer and use a blanket on your bed at night.

Now the dishwasher in this rental is broken too. All of the broken-ness around here is making it easier to pack up. I can't use my kitchen very well anymore anyway. I can't dress in a cold closet very well anyway.

Let's pack up and get out of here!!

All of this whining puts meaningful things in perspective. I will be cold, and wash every dish by hand, and I will be thankful for the people in my life. I don't care about the dishwasher or the furnace terribly much. I want to surround myself with people who are generous and loving, and I want to be gracious towards folks who are not (and then hang out with the folks who are).

It looks like I'm getting near the end of the story.

More Real-Estate

2011-11-04T17:11:00.000-07:00

We are moving. Last week we looked at rentals. They are mostly fine. I want something close to town, with light from outside coming in. We found that.

We also had to fortune of finding a house that is not on the market, but needing to be sold, through a friend. It is a good house for us, on 1.6 acres, across the street from 400 acres of state park land. It has fruit trees, 3 bedrooms, an office and open living space. We can afford it, so we are in escrow, closing on the 16th.

I'll be honest when I say that I am less than excited. It meets our needs, and is easy for us, so I am very, very glad. I've packed a lot, so it should be seamless. As nothing is ever seamless, I am holding off on excitement, but it is a happy day. I've found that working hard has little to do with luck.

This week I played badminton for the first time in 21 years. That was exciting and fun, packing boxes and fixing a few problems at the new place is less than fun for me. When we are moved, unpacked, and it feels like home, I'll be excited. It happens for me when I can find my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and when I imagine myself, I see myself 'at home'. I'll be excited to go home.

Short Sale: Back on the Market

2011-10-21T20:01:00.000-07:00

When we left for vacation last week, I was fine that our house was for sale and a short sale was pending. On our way to the beach our car burned up, not literally, but there was smoke, and where there is smoke....Anyway, the car broke, and we were going to have to move when the sale was final, maybe January. As it turns out, while on vacation, our landlord called to say they are giving us 30 days notice to move out. They are scared that the sale won't go through and that the house will sell better empty (staged), before the new year, when they need it off or their books.

I understand that they want to sell their house, and that it has nothing to do with my housekeeping and decorating ability (it is my full-time job so it looks nice in here). They have been generous letting us live here rent-free. I just don't want to move during the holiday season. Don't expect any gifts or a decorated tree from me this year.

As we left for vacation we thought we had no car. On the way home, with our repaired car, we have no house (or at least no house in 30 days). If you read through the annuls of my blog, you will find that "I HATE MOVING" is a theme. I'll repeat it again, I HATE MOVING, but I will. I don't want to push back too much with our landlords to stay longer. We live in the same town as they do, and I don't want any problems later on.

Tonight, home from a week at the beach, I am too tired to comb Craigslist.com anymore for rentals. G'night.

Rent Free

2011-09-28T17:40:00.000-07:00

I've neglected this blog for a while, as nothing interesting is happening. In the last few months, we made two offers to Bank Of America to buy the house we live in for a short-sale price. The bank valued the house 55k over what we offered. We felt our price was fair, and what we can afford. The bank wanted more.

I am curious about the big picture for the bank. 55k is a ton of money for me, but I am thinking it is not much for the bank. I think we will submit another offer that is a bit higher (just a bit) and see if they bite. If not, we can move when the house sells or the bank owns it. We have 60 days to be out after that time.

For now the rent is very reasonable. The owners are not charging us rent anymore.

Hurry Up & Wait

2011-07-12T08:09:00.000-07:00

The papers are signed, all we need to do is wait. The bank will decide, in their time, if they will accept our offer for the house.

It has been my experience that waiting, warps my perception of time. This time, I am hoping the bank takes a long time to get to our stack of papers. Last time I was hoping they would take a long time to get to our stack of papers. Last time they only took a few weeks, and we had to move in a rush. The longer it takes, the longer I am not paying rent. Please take your time, Bank of America!

If the bell is going to ring at your kids school and you are running behind, those few minutes seem lightning-bolt fast. If you are stopped at a stop light, the same amount of time can drag on, and on. If you are carrying your first baby around in your belly, each day is long. If you are carrying your second baby around in your belly, the same amount of days are seemingly shorter.

If my perspective and perception of time is what makes waiting short or long, then I am going to try to "suffer" during this time of waiting. Will that stretch it out?

Giving In

2011-07-09T14:59:00.000-07:00

The timing is terrible for us to buy a house. We are leaving for a long time to go to Eastern Europe. This weekend we will make a short sale offer on the house we live in, for what we feel is a screaming deal!

I think we will be fine on the details of the transaction, because it will take a long time to deal with the bank. So there you have it!

I really don't like to be pushed for time on a huge decision. I have already made some decisions about what I will do to this house if it is mine. I've had a year to think about it!

The first thing I will do is cut down the evergreen topiaries that flank either side of our front door. I have posted a photo, so that you can agree with me.

HOA

2011-07-07T14:54:00.000-07:00

My mind is racing a bit with questions about buying the house we live in. The main one is doubts about the home owners association. We don't know the details of membership. What we do know is it may be a community, but it is not neighborly. Or, our experience so far has not been warm and generous.

Does that matter? Will it be okay to have the 'trashy' house on our street? Can I survive wondering if folks are judging me as they walk to the mailboxes?

Though I had nothing to do with the pink toilet in my yard, it exposed the nature of several neighbors. It's good to know that how our block looks, is something people care a lot about here. I care a lot about being a steward of my stuff as well. I hope to be generous with it, and cling loosely to it at the same time. I know it was weeks ago now, but I'm putting into the category of things to think about if we really do want to buy this house.

The time crunch on the decision ins't really helping. I have to pack to go to Europe for 5 weeks!!

I was raised down a country lane, without a neighborhood. The only neighborhood I knew about was Mister Rogers'. It didn't seem so confusing when I was a pre-schooler.

Oh Bother!!! or Adventures in Missing the Point.

2011-07-05T23:00:00.000-07:00

As my favorite stuffed bear might say, "OH!! Bother".

In lieu of foreclosing, starting Friday, our landlords are short sale-ing ("short saling" the verb has not been invented yet) this house. Since they are not paying for this house, they are kind enough to ask us not to pay rent, which is nice for now.

So, Friday....... That is the day that folks will start tromping through my house. Next Wednesday will be the day I leave to go to Europe for the rest of the summer to teach English (don't worry, my house will be occupied, by bouncers and armed leprechauns).

We recommended our realtor to our land lord, so now our realtor is selling our house for our land lord, while we are hoping to buy this house from our land lord/B of A. He did short sale our other house without a hitch. What is not recommendable about that? Here's what: Now, the person helping us find a house is selling our house. He said we need to make an offer before we leave next week. NEXT WEEK? I'm busy next week.

I though, sure, great, whatever. Really though, I am not sure I want to run our side of escrow from Europe. I don't want the pressure of financing, and inspections, while I am away.

It seems before you do something big in your life, there are always distractions. Your best girlfriend decides she HATES you the week before she stands up for you in your wedding. Your dog gets expensively/mortally sick before a big trip. Life is an adventure in missing the point. I want to go teach English at camp for the next several weeks and not think for five minutes about the roof over my head. Of course I have not been thinking of it much, but now that I am leaving for a LONG time, it seems pressing.

Real estate stinks. Plain and simple from my perspective. If this house we live in is still for sale when we get back, then we will make an offer. I will be sad to miss an opportunity to live in this house for longer. I also will wonder if I missed an opportunity at another place somewhere else. There is no winning at the game during this state. Prices will still go down in the next year, and we will wonder if we could have something better somewhere else.

Every time I go teach English abroad, I have come home a different and better person. I am banking on that this year especially. I am okay leaving, knowing I might not get to buy this house, as someone else might beat me to it. It is uncomfortable, yes. If you read this blog at all, you know I am getting better at letting myself be uncomfortable. That feeling is not fatal, just difficult. Mostly it requires fortitude and integrity. I've got tons of those!

Extortion or Creative?

2011-07-01T11:36:00.001-07:00

Unique fundraiser leaves youth group flush with cash

By Kyle Magin
Staff Writer

ENLARGE

Emily Dyer, a 15 year-old Bear River High School sophomore, and her pink toilet, which she painted and decorated as part of an unusual fundraiser for starving children in Africa.

Extortion never looked this flamboyant.

A toilet, spray-painted pink and decorated with flowers, has recently been making the rounds in front yards across Nevada County.

Homeowners who find the porcelain throne stuck in their yard can choose to pay $10 to have the toilet removed to a friend's lawn, and an additional $5 to make sure it never appears on their property again.

The gimmick is the design of Bear River sophomore Emily Dyer, a 15-year-old south county resident.

She is participating in a hunger fundraiser sponsored by the youth group at her church, Sierra Presbyterian. She got the toilet from Habitat for Humanity and spray-painted it bright pink.

Dyer's father transports the toilet from location to location, and so far she's estimated the plan has raised more than $1,200 since they began in May.

Proceeds from the toilet removal service (victims can opt out if they don't want to play along) go to an organization called World Vision, which feeds starving children in Africa.

“Hopefully, we'll keep it going until the end of summer,” said Dyer.

Students in the youth group have been working on a hunger initiative recently, which included a 30-hour fast in order to better understand the effects of hunger, she said.

You can contact the church to find out how to help at

Blackmail and the Pink Toilet

2011-06-28T16:22:00.000-07:00

My rental is in a 20 year old, fancy neighborhood. It has HUGE custom homes, wide streets, perfect yards, pretty lamp posts, and we are the only family here, under 60 years old. We have heard that the home owners association is strict. I have lived in a neighborhood with a HOA before, and have been in trouble with one before. I have been in all sorts of trouble, but not because I am devious or evil, just fiery, feisty and dyslexic (I write checks for the wrong amount or put change in the wrong parking meter). I'll admit that what happen tried my patience and my mouth got away from me. I am not blameless.

A teen-aged girl at my church has been fundraising for World Vision. If you don't know what they do, you should find out, but mostly they feed kids around the world. $1 feeds one kid, for one day. I feel passionately about World Vision, and about my friend who is fundraising for them. I love her!

She has raised $1200 so far, the local news paper is doing a story about her, and it has been in the nicest developments in our county, without incident

Here is her plan to earn money: She purchased a toilet from the Habitat Restore. She painted it hot pink and put flowers in the tank. On the seat is a note explaining the project. It says something like: If you want the toilet out of your yard, make a check out to World Vision for $15. Call the number on the lid, and tell us who you would like the toilet delivered to, and they will donate to World Vision, and so on, and so on, yard after yard! Then it said, (this is all in good fun, and if it is an inconvenience, we will come and get the toilet right now).

You know that toilet ended up in my yard. You know my financially well-off, 20 years retired, neighbors weren't very happy. As soon as the toilet was in my yard, I called the number, wrote a check and put it on the toilet seat in my yard, so everyone who looked, could see I was taking care of it. I left the toilet in the yard, instead of hiding it in the garage, so that everyone could see it. I was proud of my friend's creativity and caring. I wanted to give everyone a chance to support hungry kids around the world. I guess my faith in human kindness was a bit naive. Anyway, I went on a long hike and returned about noon to my house.

There in the driveway was the president of the HOA. I'll call her Lady A. Her husband was in their high end car, with the engine still running. Her friend was standing nearby. Oh, no.....

We got out of the car and were as friendly as we are by nature, which is friendly. Silas introduced us, again, and asked her name, again. I observed she seemed upset, aloud. She was shaking and nearly in tears (because of the toilet). I asked her several question.
"Could you tell me more about what is going on?" no real answer
"Could I tell you more about the fundraiser and what it is for?" no real answer, just very upset.

She had been called by several home owners in the development, complaining. My plan was to ask her questions, until she deflated her own position, which was flimsy.

That was my plan. What happened was I lost my patience, and my frontal lobes were unable to restrain my tongue. Then, while I was listening to her fumble on, about the "eye sore", I saw red.

I went to the toilet, and picked up my check. I held it up for Lady A to read, and pointed with my finger to the recipient of the check, World Vision. I said, "Do you see who this check is made out to, by me? That says World Vision. World Vision feeds hungry children all over the world. If you are the kind of person who is worried about this toilet being in my yard for a few hours, then you are a very shallow woman!" I was back to seeing blues and greens, and there was Silas, with his mouth agape and his eyes wide, stepping back. This woman is clearly my elder, and I should respect her enough to not serve her the honest truth with a fire poker, but I did.

For sure, she huffed off, saying I don't know her. That is true. I am hopeful that she is the most caring and generous woman who has lived, but her actions and words were telling me differently. Maybe we caught her on a bad day? We asked her not to leave, so that we could resolve it. She had already called the number on the toilet to complain.

The mother of the sweet girl who is fundraising, told her she was coming to get the toilet, that we had nothing to do with it, and how could she make it right. She was so nice. Lady A told her some neighbors were going to call the police, as it was clearly blackmail. I was hoping they would, to further the silliness of the whole event. Lady A also said that donating to World Vision is something she might be interested in.

Later that day, I wrote her a letter to apologize for losing my temper. I told her I felt compassion for her situation as a leader of folks complaining to her, and at the same time, the toilet was actually for a good cause. I told her I was sad she went away mad, and that I want a friendly relationship with her. I feel absolution for it, though I don't feel sorry I said, "shallow" to her.

Wouldn't it have been nice if to get rid of the toilet, instead of a lot of angry complaining, there were 20 checks for $15 in the toilet? Do our worlds get smaller as we age? I want to have world vision.

If you haven't thought of donating to World Vision before now, consider it. You can help someone who needs it, a kid. You also might broaden your scope!

Glorified Chicken Coop

2011-06-07T22:34:00.000-07:00

This is the "real life" portion of this blog.

I would like to preface/blanket, whatever I say next with how much compassion I feel for those who are homeless. People without a home are in profound trouble, physically, mentally and likely spiritually. This makes me questions what is useful help.

I have been cooking in homeless shelters and eating with the folks, since I started college (decades ago). In my experience, seldom do you meet a homeless person who would benefit from owning a glorified chicken coop. There are so many legitimate wrongs with this idea, I won't bore you with the list. What isn't wrong is the loving, creative hearts of the people who care for the marginalized.

The reasons are vast why someone is homeless. I could explain it to you, but you already know why people are homeless. If you don't, go volunteer at your local soup kitchen or homeless shelter, and sit down with anyone there and just listen to them.

Real estate. These micro-structures on public property are not real estate. This is a fundamental problem with being homeless. I see a man and woman who park their camper at K-mart & Raley's, every-other night. Not real estate, just real life. Is 'real estate' just the space you are currently occupying?

These mini structures (though a childhood fantasy) are unsettling. I am only one (maybe two) events away from the tragedy of being homeless and I am VERY secure. My mind tells me to take shelter, and prepare for it. My body and spirit obey. Any one of those ingredients can vanish, because life is hard. What is 'real' about where I live, can vanish as well.

That is the tragedy, not that people can live without a house, but without a home.

I can sit at my computer and pontificate about real estate and housing statistics, but this is another side of the story. When I look at my reflection through this hometown news story, I feel cut down the middle. I would rather use the $110 to buy the person a sandwich every day for a few weeks.

Dream House

2011-06-05T11:39:00.000-07:00

The 1st house we bought

Last night I was talking to a friend, who is in the middle of a housing mess, just a few skips behind us. She said something that made my imagination churn. She wants to plan her life to her desires. She is a reasonable and loving person, so her desire is to be able to pick her kids up, and drop them off at school every day (not world cruises and plastic surgery). Her house has made it so that she isn't the mom she dreams and desires to be. Her life is hard, because of home-ownership, and she is picturing her life the way she wants it. It isn't selfish, in her case, it is selfless.

I wondered that for myself. What do I want? I have only been thinking how relieved I am to have found arsenic in the water, and not bought the house next to my parents. (who by the way, tested their well water and it is all clear of rat poison, which I took as a favorable sign in our favor) I realized last night, that without asking myself, "what do you really want?", I have no ambition. I have no selfish ambition, and no selfless ambition. I really am in denial.

Part of getting out of the housing market was a step towards not letting my life, as much as possible, happen to me. That is how we got into a mess partly, in the first place. Some of it was just bad timing, and some just blindly doing what we thought we were supposed to do. Buy a house, because that's 'what you do'.

On to my dream. I would like to live in this house while my kids are growing and going to school. I would like to clear a patch for a veggie garden, and bust a hole in every southerly facing room, so that light comes into the house from where the sun shines (it has been a long winter, and there are NO windows on the south side, it looks funny). I would like this house to be ours, which means we would have to buy it, but I would like to buy it for a screamin' deal. Those are my dreams, at the moment.

I think that is a good marriage of dreaming and denial.

Homeownership

2011-05-31T14:50:00.001-07:00

XKCD I think this may be me. I do love power drills!

Homeownership

Double-Dipping

2011-05-31T11:09:00.000-07:00

In my last post I noted that there are some fundamental flaws with buying a house now. The main one is our immediate comfort (which is short-sighted, I get it). The second is that the housing market continues to plummet. The value of homes continue to decline.

One reason to stay in our rental, even if it is being foreclosed on, is if we buy something now, it will continue to lose value. It is true we are nearer the bottom of the trough than before we sold our other house, but there is no end in sight. If we buy a house now, chances are the house will be worth 10% less by 2012. If we buy a house for 200K, it is a loss of $20,000 (I babied you and did the math). I know that loss is for the short-term, but wouldn't I rather buy that same house for 20K less next year? YES, yes I would! We are sacrificing housing stability for value.

The way I look at housing and jobs have changed from the way I was raised. My grandparents and parents all had nearly the same jobs and same houses for all of their adult lives, and certainly all of my life. I have lived in 4 states, 6 houses, and my husband has had 3 jobs, and we are in our mid-30's (I have had the same job: 2 kids, but even they are growing, and then I'll get a paying job). Instability is the new normal. At first all the unsettledness was scary, but you can't really scare me now. Holding on, when things are unsettled is hard, but not scary.

That brings me to the title of the blog: Double-Dipping. When I think of this term, I see my 9 year old nephew devouring ranch dip with one carrot. For some reason I don't think that is what the term means for real-estate. The news today was bad for people who use their home value as a means of provision. Prices are going down again, or double-dipping. Values went down a few years again, and are going down more, which seems more like a steady decline, than dipping, to me, but I don't make up the terms.

The news is good for those of us holding on, and saving money by renting until our credit gets better, or we've saved the cash to buy a house in toto. My savings account goes up, housing prices go down. It might not be as long as you might think if things keep going the way they are going.

Arsenic and a New Place

2011-05-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

The story continues. We did find a house that would be good for our family.

Good enough.

There are several fundamental problems with looking for a house, for us. The main one is, the house we live in is huge, well kept, right in town, beautiful and cheap. If we look at other houses, I just want to stay here. It isn't an option to stay here, so mostly I'm in denial that we need to move.

I HATE MOVING.

Moving here, we knew we would have to move, so again, I am in denial.

We made an offer on the good-enough-house. It has a beautiful perennial garden, roses, clematis and daphne. It has enough room for us, a wood stove, a 2 car garage, a studio/office/workshop and is next door to my parents. Those are all reasons to move there.

Here are the reasons not to move there, some are very superficial, but humor me:

The neighbors (besides my parents) have big problems, which require visits from the sheriff.
The inside requires, in my opinion, updating. There is gross carpet, and patches of wood flooring.
There are only 2 bedrooms, and we have 2 kids, who are different genders, so we were going to have to put in a wall in the super-large second bedroom.
The architecture isn't ideal. It is 80's Creative, or that is my name for the style.
Finally, there is arsenic in the water.

Some of the concessions we were making by moving/buying this house, we could live with. Updating a house is just uncomfortable for a while, then it is over. The inside of a house is where we live, and the outside was not terrible, just 'unique'. We have lived in neighborhoods where the authorities visited often, and we were safe, and were happy.

The last inspection we had was the well inspection. Of course it was the last one, after paying for all the others. The poison in the well was a deal-breaker. There are expensive filters we can install, and then every-other year we can spend a mortgage payment to have the filter cleaned. I decided I didn't want to lay in bed at night wondering if my expensive filter was actually cleaning the water, and my 8 year old's bath wasn't full of rat poison/remnants from the Gold Rush.

We canceled escrow last Monday. The only loss was the cash we spent on inspections. It is a tiny loss, and after short-selling our other house, the magnitude of loss is irrelevant. Escrow is like kissing a girl to see if you like her, you don't have to marry her.

Also, escrow has nothing to do with crows.

*On a tangent, if you have never seen Arsenic and Old Lace, you should. It is one of my favorite comedies.

Definition of Insanity

2011-04-26T20:22:00.000-07:00

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein

I think I might be crazy. The heart/pocket book ache of last year, and selling our house still smarts. Who in their right mind would willingly walk into another situation again? Committed again to a house? Silas would. That is Silas' hand signing his name, with a date!

We have to move, it's the whole truth. We can fudge the 'when' of moving, but we have to do it. We decided that we would keep a tentative-eye on what is for sale. Last week we found a modest house, at a modest price.

It has a shop and an office for Silas' small business. I would want nicer flooring, and appliances, but the price is right, that isn't such an issue. The real selling point is the location. The three acres touch the land that I grew up on. My parents are a simple walk through the trees, past an orchard. What a fun childhood, running over to grandma's.

There are many things that might not work out. We only made an offer. There might be termites, there might be bad water. If those are problems, we can stay in house in purgatory. The pool sure helps!

Ideas for "Easy" Moving

2011-02-08T12:18:00.000-08:00

It has been a solid year since I called the mortgage company and turned off the auto-mortgage-payment. It was one of the hardest/bravest things I have done. It was hard for me to openly choose to do something that others could judge (blogging about it didn't help there, but it set me free in another way). I like to choose to do anti-social things that people can't see me do. A year of water under the bridge, and I can look back to see that the time that part of the story took during my life was transformative, and very brief.

As with the social consequences of defaulting on a loan, renting also has a downside: instability.

It seems that financial strain is fine for a while, but terrible over a long period, which is why I understand that our landlords want to be done owning this house. It also means that we have to move or find a way to buy this house. I hate moving, have I said that? Not that I was getting too comfortable here, or haven't moved 7 times as an adult already.

My attempt at enjoying a space, even for a short time.

Here are some ideas I had, as I look at my stuff and think about putting it back into the boxes:

Buy a new fridge when we get where we are going.
Sell all our things on ebay months in advance.
Don't get too comfortable.
Pull our guitars, computers, children and pets to the curb, and start a house fire (not suggested).
Pay for weekly garbage service, and throw most of our old stuff that won't sell on ebay away.
Don't be sentimental: Take some time to consolidate the 5 trunks of memorabilia my husband's mother saved from his childhood.
Don't keep junk: Throw or give away the threadbare towels we got as wedding gifts 15 years ago.
Donate the ice cream scooper to the Hospice Thrift. Who needs one of those, I already have a spoon.

Renting Real Estate

2011-02-03T17:40:00.000-08:00

Making a house a home celebrating Christmas.

Real estate prices continue to drop in our area, as our savings continues to rise. It turns out, not paying for an expensive house means you can save a bit more than before. We have been able to save enough for a down on another house (yes that is how high our mortgage was), if we were to be so brave and a bank would loan us the rest (which they wont). We are hesitant about any change. Renting feels just right, until the landlord calls.

Celebrating the birth of my niece.

She asked if we were hoping to rent beyond the year that we had leased the house. It is fine with us to rent this house beyond our lease, it is a comfy place. As with most things, her question was about something more. She wanted us to know that they are tired of paying a high mortgage for the house we live in, and the house where they live. They are hoping to not have both houses. This means we have a few options, mainly that we will have to move, unless we can figure out how to buy this house. We moved here thinking only to stay 12 months. I have been thinking of it as an amazingly comfortable and big hotel room.
Depending on what happens, we will have to move in the summer or we will have to think about buying this house (for the perfect price, of course).
No matter what, I'm going through my kid's closets to get out the small clothes, and de-cluttering.
I'm going to continue blogging, as clearly the story isn't over. My thinking that the story is over is not accepting how much where we live affects our life.

Fahrvergnügen

2010-11-03T12:53:00.000-07:00

Before my husband was my husband, and he was just a teenaged boy, he had a Volkswagen. My dad would come into the house and say, "Silas is on his way". Several minutes later, the boy Silas would pull into my parents driveway, my dad having heard the buzz of the engine a mile in the distance.
Flash forward 20 years and we still we have old VW's. Last week we had two old VW's, and this week, we are down to just one, green Passat (which is older than some of you, and still gets 45 mpg! Don't be jealous).
I'm logging the sale of our 1980 VW Westfalia Campmobile because it was something we owned, a real-estate of sorts. When we were not paying our mortgage, we would joke that if we had to move, we all could live in The Van. We could have lived in the van, and in our early 20's one summer we did live in another version. One reason ideas are humorous is that they are partly true and ironic. I think in the back of my mind, the very creative part, that if we were homeless, we could live in a van down by the river. It was never plausible, or probable, but I thought it.
Selling our bus, is another way of letting go of the stuff we have acquired. I was surprised when my husband said he wanted to sell it. He loves it!
Last week, armed with a "For Sale" sign, our blue bus sat in front of one of the two super markets by our house. It was a new spot, and only hours after we parked it, there was a yellow ticket in the window. I also saw some actual hippies with packs sitting next to the bus on the curb. They were calling the number on the van, as I drove by fuming over the ticket. They called to say that there was a warning slip on the van, and that it was going to be towed. (It turns out it was parked legally, but the note said it was tagged for "storing personal property in the street". This is police for, "I can give you a ticket for anything")
The hippie, whose name was Amber, turned out to be interested in buying it while talking to Silas, who is by nature enthusiastic. Amber is also enthusiastic and spontaneous by nature as well as tired of hitch hiking in the rain. She also was flush with cash.
She drove around a bit, and like I said, was very enthusiastic. She offered to buy the van. If someone has cash from working a job that hippies work, it turns out they are pretty easy-going about price.
They loaded their things into the van, we unloaded our things. We enthusiastically chatted, signed the deed, and exchanged the huge wad of cash. Staying true to her nature, she kissed and hugged us all, and as she pulled out of the driveway told us she was going to name the van after our daughter. Our girl's name is also a good name for a van, or a dog, or a troupe of boys, so it was enthusiastically sweet.
I am becoming accustomed to letting things go. I might have been less enthusiastic about the van than my husband, or than Amber, but it still had a place in my heart, and I still have that, even though the physical auto is carrying weed toting former hitch hikers. I'm reminded that there is joy in owning things, be it a house or a car. There is some joy in working hard on or for something, only to have the memory of the hard work, the experience, and the people associated with it.

It is nearly like when you drive a VW, you are supposed to have enjoyment, just driving it. This is true. When I drive a VW, I feel enjoyment, even if I am driving to the DMV.

I'm Part of the Problem

2010-10-27T15:07:00.000-07:00

Second Marriage

2010-09-22T16:40:00.000-07:00

I have been married all of my adult life (if you count 19 as adult, which I did then, but don't now), to the same person. Being married is nearly the best and most transformative thing I've been a part of. My husband gently helps me be the person I can be, often without meaning to. Even though I am not perfect, he still thinks I am beautiful. He loves me for who I am.

Relationships are transformative, and our relationship with our things isn't exempt from changing us, especially something as big and expensive as a house.

I know mostly everyone is married or committed. Now that I have been married 14 years, some people have moved from their first significant relationship onto the next one, if the first wasn't what it should have been.

In an interesting conversation with my aforementioned spouse, I was surprised by how non-committal I am about buying a house again. If I buy another house, I know what I want. More-so, I know what I don't want. Much like what I hear people saying, when a committed relationship ends. I know what I don't want, or, I don't know if I'll ever be married again.

I know that relationships are more meaningful and impressive than real estate, but they are comparable because we have to commit to them in a significant way. If my experiences with real estate were as positive as my experiences in love have been, I might sit on my back patio talking about how I never want to move. Instead is sit listing what I don't want in my next house.

The underlying principle here is commitment. My commitment to a house has potential to transform me, for better or for worse. I have to have faith that my next house won't be like the first 2. If the perfect house comes along, I might entertain the the possibility of buying it. Maybe we might just move in together at first. Now I am in credit purgatory, so it doesn't matter for a while, so I am free to think and feel anyway I want about my next ~~relationship~~ house.

Housing Irony

2010-08-24T11:51:00.000-07:00

Our first house in Sparks, Nevada is again for sale. We purchased it in 2003 after moving from Ohio. We purchased it in the $200's and sold it just as the market was peaking/crashing at the end of 2005 in the $300's. Now it is for sale in the $100's, seven years later. We used the money we got from the sale of the house in 2005 as a down for the house we just sold short in 2010.

Look at that house! It is pretty nifty! I especially like the color, mostly because I painted it that color (with the help of some of you reading this). I'll admit that I did not like living in Sparks. Maybe it was the location, maybe it was just a personally rough patch for me, maybe it was this house, or maybe it was because I wanted to be somewhere else.

Every few months I look at the real estate in Sparks to see if 'our house' goes back on the market. Yesterday, I found it. It has been for sale for a month. The man who bought it from us was not kind to us, and it was a terrible experience selling and moving out, but we were glad to go. Knowing how much he paid us for it, and that it is for sale for now, I feel like it is Karma. I try that feeling on for about 2 seconds and then take it off. I should feel sad for him, and that it might be adding to his crabby-ness, and I do feel sad. I actually feel fortunate. Seeing this house for sale again, makes me disinterested in owning a home. A useful way to work through painful stuff is to look at it in a new way. I've re-capture events and details with a new point of view. Finding this house for sale, reclaimed my memory for the better.

The kids throw laundry down the stairs, instead of going to bed.
Look how clever they are!

I keep thinking that I won't contribute to this blog anymore, because our adventure with the real-estate market is seemingly over. Though it may be over, I'm still figuring it all out. Looking at the numbers, and looking back, farther than just our last house, we have lost nothing. Yes, we have had to say goodbye to much, but lost something? No! Not really even money, which is the most superficial part of this whole situation. I still remember nursing my baby in that house, the tomatoes and roses in the garden, snow in the yard, breakfast with my sister, my boy's first day of kindergarden, and killer desert rainbows! Aren't we always saying goodbye to something, and adjusting to something new, or shouldn't we be?

Today I am thankful to be where I am. If proximity matters, then I am happy here. If the proximity of my heart matters, then I am even more happy to be where I am.

Rock & Wood

2010-08-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

I ~~skim~~ read the local paper everyday online. Today, I read an article about this continuing trend. Really? Real estate prices drop 13%? Is this good news for my family and me?

It has been 8 weeks since we moved into our new digs. It has been 2 months of a seriously rich summer. We've had hours of time to process our experience and what lessons we can honestly carry away with us. Our hearts have grown in spite of what we own. As it turns out, I am ambivalent about housing prices as I read The Union this morning.

My friend Petra gave me this little house with a family in it. Again, the lesson washed over me. Just the idea that a friend could pass a small piece of pained wood to me, and know me so fully, made me feel home. It made her real estate in my heart go up just about 13%.

Loaves and Fish

2010-06-08T11:43:00.000-07:00

We are made up of many parts. Body, mind and spirit. I realize that much of what I have been blogging about here is spirit. There is the physical dwelling (body) that we need to make sound choices about (mind) and what really is important in the long-run for our journey (spirit). I'm a spiritual person. I know my take on controversial subjects such as politics, money and religion are different than yours, and that is okay with me. If it isn't okay with you, then you won't like my post. I'm giving you an out here........

Moving on.

Not paying my mortgage for 3 months, and selling our house short has been nothing, if it hasn't been a spiritual experience. I have learned who I am, and what is important to me, and how tightly I hold to ideas which are not sacred, but seem safe. I have learned the true meaning of integrity. Things are seldom what they seem, and I have no authority to make a call one way or another when something is not my concern. You live well, and I'll do my best too. I can only speak for me, which is why I'm going to talk about a story from the life of Jesus in my blog about real estate.

There is a time in the life of Christ where He was talking to many many people for a long long time. Everyone was hungry and all of them were far from a place to get something to eat. Those close to Jesus asked to let everyone be dismissed to get dinner. In typical Jesus fashion, he gave a cryptic command. He said to them, 'you feed them'. The disciples pushed back, and asked how they were to feed 5,000 people without food or money (good question). He told them to go and see how much food everyone had if they combined all the food. They found 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Jesus gave thanks for the food, and served 5,000 people with that small amount. All the people were full, well fed, and there was food left over.

Flash forward to 2 Fridays ago. My house is packed in boxes. The only things I have, my body, mind and spirit, are tired and weak. I look around and feel alone. Maybe not physically alone, but even so, my kids are at school, my husband is at work, and I'm packing and cleaning from dusk 'till dawn. My mind tells me some bad things:
I am alone (I am tired and not thinking clearly. Clearly I am not alone.) Who has willingly done something so stupid, as to practically give the only possession we have of potential worth to a mega-institution so they can make money on it? I'm asking myself this because I hate moving, and organizing all my stuff, and because I'm tired. If I sit down too long, then it won't EVER get done. I'm going mad a bit. Where are my socks, where are the keys to the mail box, what box to the thumb-tacks go in, where is my cat and have I fed him?
As you could imagine, my spirits were low.

At 3 p.m., what seems to me a miracle of Biblical proportions occurred . My friends and family descended, without call, on my house. In 4 hours, nearly every piece of furniture and all the boxes were at our new house. The next day by 2p.m. my whole house was moved, and nearly unpacked in the new house. I was participating, but in a fog. My mind was cloudy with proximity of possessions, and fumes from cleaning solution. I mopped my self out of every room of that old place, and got sniffling into the car and came home to a new place. 15 people hauling and cleaning and loving my family. Beyond those 15 were scores of well-wishers, calling and asking if there was anyway they could help.

This is the part I thought some might not like, the folks who don't want to read anything about the story of Jesus are already out, at this point. Here is where I'm drawn back to this story of Jesus. Yes, maybe he did spontaneously generate enough seafood and bread to feed the masses. He might have, I'm not saying he didn't, I'm just saying maybe he didn't.

Maybe the people who He was teaching that day were moved enough to share what they had. They might not have been at first before they met Him. Maybe they had the food the whole time, but were unwilling to share. After listening to Jesus talk for an afternoon, they were moved to share what they had. Maybe that is a part of the miracle.

The real miracle might be that we sometimes guard what we have to give, but when we are moved in love to give, like my friends and family, we can move mountains, or a family of 4 across town.

Thank you all so much for letting miraculous things happen, and being a part of the mystery!