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Mile Markers and What Ifs

2015-08-13T12:19:00.001-04:00

There's been quite a few changes in my life in the past two, almost three, years.

Probably the biggest, or at least most outwardly big, of which is that, 11 days ago, I packed everything I own into a trailer and moved to Nashville, TN to begin my Master's Degree.

I haven't written much on the blog about why I'm pursuing a Master's in Marriage and Family Counseling and Therapy. (I mean, I haven't written much on the blog, period.) And, maybe I'll write about that someday. But today, I wanted to write about how I decided to pursue it.

In 2007, I was four years into my career as a youth pastor and two years into my first job as the head of a ministry. But I was slowly (or, not so slowly) isolating myself from friends, coworkers, and my direct boss. Because of this, a divide began growing between the two of us. This led to tension, lack of chemistry, and just a general lack of enjoyment and fulfillment in working together.

So, he fired me.

And that was the right call.

But, this post isn't about that job. It's just that getting fired from that job was the first mile marker on this journey.

After I got fired, I spent about another year in Southern California and then moved back to South Carolina. During that year, as well as after moving back, I continued to try my best to get another job in youth ministry.

I had no problem getting phone interviews at churches. And I had no problem, once on the phone, selling myself well enough to get them to fly me out for an in person interview. But, once I got to the in person interview, things always fell apart. But, I was determined. I was going to get another youth ministry job. After all, I was called. Wasn't I?

As the years passed, some of my character defects began surfacing in more and more obvious and demonstrative ways. Finally, on April 12, 2013, I decided that enough was enough and I needed to ask for help.

Mile two.

My mentor, whom I asked to help me, referred me to a counselor. The first big lesson I received from my counselor is that, in order to be healthy, I have to deal with life on life's terms. In other words, I've got to join the rest of the world in reality.

To do this, I began taking a sober look into my own heart. I had to address the heart issues, burdens, and trauma that I had left unattended for so many years.

Eventually, this led me to pull out what I thought was my calling to youth ministry and reexamine it.

I'm still not sure if I'm done with youth ministry. But, now I know a few more things about myself. First, all of the men who have had giant impacts on my life have been in youth ministry. Because of this, naturally, I want to emulate them. Second, I can sometimes get stuck in a pattern. "Just because I've always done this, I have to keep doing it." And, third, for far too long, I had let my self will run rampant and control my life.

So, in early 2014, I began to pray something different. For so long, I had been praying that God would give me specific job opportunities. Then, I began praying for any opportunity. Now, I had come to the place in my life where I was genuinely happy with myself. So, I began praying for God to just give me more of Him. With more of Him, even if I poured coffee or swept floors for the rest of my life, I realized I'd be fulfilled and satisfied (not just happy).

In late 2014, I began running an experiment. (This has become a mechanism that I employ when I know I need to make a big life change. I'll unpack it later.) I began to say "What if, just for a little while, I disassociated my identity from my vocation? What if I didn't hold myself to what I think I have to do? What if I didn't hold myself to what I think I should do or what I ought to do? What if I just tried to figure out what I want to do? Just for a little while."

By redefining the rules by which I thought I had to think, I freed myself up enough to see something new. I saw that I enjoyed being with people one on one more than being with them in large groups. I saw that, the story that I have (and the work I had done to understand and begin to improve it) allowed me to empathize and guide others toward a better path. And I saw that, by sharing my story and listening to those of others, I got to enjoy intimacy with them. And I liked that. In fact, I didn't just like it, I was energized by it.

Mile three.

So, I asked my counselor, "If I'm interested in pursuing counseling as a career, how would I go about doing it?"

And, here I am.

I wanted to write this because I know that some of you reading it are experiencing something similar. Your thinking has become settled and you've accepted a set of "rules" by which to live by and think by. But... What if?

So, just for a little while, what if you didn't play by those rules anymore? What if you, with God's help and influence, asked yourself "What do I want to do?"

Be At Peace

2014-09-29T15:43:00.001-04:00

You've probably wondered why the blog has been silent since April. Or, you know, you haven't.

Josh, why haven't you written anything in almost 6 months?

Well, it's a bit of a long story. The short version is that I have. It's just all been private. I've been participating in an intensive session of group therapy that has asked me to write a lot. This has been extremely good for me. But, the nature of this writing has been very reflective and personal. So, I decided to hand write everything. In the future, I'll probably adapt some of it for the blog. But for now, it's mine.

All of that to say this: Today I came across something that I wanted to share here. It's a piece of writing by Saint Francis de Sales, a Catholic priest from the 16th century.

Be At Peace

Do not look forward in fear to the changes in life: rather look to them with full hope that as they arise, God, whose (very own) you are, will deliver you from out of them. He has kept you hitherto, and He will lead you safely through all things; and when you cannot stand it, [God] will bury you in His arms. Do not fear what may happen tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you then and everyday. He will shield you from suffering, or will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.

*Emphasis added by me. 16th century priests didn't have italics. Or word processing programs. Or electricity.

Why I Hated the How I Met Your Mother Finale

2014-04-07T08:00:00.000-04:00

Nine years ago, I started watching How I Met Your Mother. After viewing the pilot episode, I immediately fell in love with it. The characters were hilarious and relatable. The setting (NYC) was magical. (TV has a way of making the city seem like a fairy tale land where anything is possible and no one struggles to make rent on their tiny studio walk up.) And the non-linear storytelling made the story captivating.

Seven days ago, the series finale aired. And I hated it.

Since then, I’ve expressed on social media (see links in the right hand column) my displeasure with how the story ended. And, with a select few friends, I’ve aired my grievances in detail. But, others have asked me why. “I liked it a lot, Josh. Why do you hate it so much?”

Well, I’ll tell you why. (To respect those that have still not seen it, this is your official warning. SPOILERS FOLLOW!)

The pilot episode ends on a twist. The girl that Ted had fallen in love with (even professed his love to on the first date), Robin, was not the mother. At the time, it was a giant curveball. During that particular half hour, you had seen Robin through Ted’s eyes. She was beautiful, funny, smart, and, well… perfect. So, it was a surprise to hear it wasn’t her that would be waiting for us at the end of the story. To their credit, the creators of HIMYM had constructed a masterful hook to keep viewers invested past that original half hour. But they had also made a promise. They, through their own twist, said that the most important relationship in this whole world would not be with Robin. It would be with an as yet unmet future woman. A woman that, as much as we had come to believe in Robin’s perceived perfection, was even more perfect for Ted.

We finally got to see this mystery perfect woman in the season 8 finale. As we entered season 9, it was announced that the mother (played by actress Christin Milioti) would become a series regular. During these episodes, we got to meet her through each of the main characters (except Ted). We even get a special episode (the 200^th) told from her perspective. All of this seemed to be setting up Ted’s hard earned happily ever after.

In seeing the finale, I thought Ted got the happy, just not the ever after.

Now, there’s lots of things that I could pick apart that either bothered me a little or that I flat out hated about the episode. Things like Barney and Robin’s divorce (after all the time spent building their relationship and the entire ninth season taking place at their wedding) bugged me. Barney’s subsequent character regression post-divorce bugged me. And, yes, his fathering a daughter with a random bugged me. (Especially the implication that his daughter swings him all the way back to his “good” self.) The reveal that some people are calling "the big one" was that the mother dies. But, to me, all of those things are small potatoes. And, none of them are why I wanted to write this post.

I hate, I Hate, I HATE that Ted ends up with Robin.

I hate it.

Ted and Robin started dating in season 2. They were together for that season and that season alone. They broke up at Marshall and Lily’s wedding and then spent the rest of the series going back and forth until Robin and Barney. During all of that time, two things were made clear: 1) Robin wasn’t compatible with Ted because she wanted very different things out of life than he did. And 2) Ted had a problem with letting go.

In the finale, Ted meets the mother (we find out her character’s name is Tracy McConnell) while leaving Barney and Robin’s wedding. They date for 5 years (during that time, they have two kids), they get married (finally), she gets sick (we don’t know from what), and then she dies. Six years passes and Ted begins telling his story. (We don’t know if that’s how long it took to tell the story.)

Was I shocked that the mother died? Not really. People had been predicting it for a long time. But when the kids tell Ted that they think the story wasn’t about their mom, I started to get worried. They said that, if the story was about their mom, she would have been in it more. (I agree.) That the story was really about how Ted had the hots for Robin and wanted to know if they’d be OK with him asking her out. They said, "of course" and that he should call her. Instead, he goes and gets the blue French Horn and shows up outside her window and is greeted by her and her dogs.

Here’s why I hate that.

I hate it because it broke the promise that they made in the pilot.

As much as Ted grated on me as a character (sorry, he did), he gave me hope. Truth is, Ted and I are more alike than I want to admit. I’d love to be a Marshall or a disease free Barney, but I’m a Ted. He spent almost all of the series pining after Robin, convinced she was his soulmate. But he finally let go. In fact, they devoted an entire episode to him letting go of her (including a weird sequence in which she floated away into the beach air). And, I always thought that, if Ted could be so deeply in love with Robin that he was still trying to win her during the weekend of her wedding, but could let her go and find the love of his life, then so could I.

Four years ago, I fell in love with someone. She and I met each others’ families, talked about getting married, and I made my plans to ask the questions (to her father and her). But we broke up. And, you know what? I had a tough time letting go. I’ve worked really hard to feel my sadness, grieve my loss, and accept that it’s over. But there are still days that I think of her and sigh. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ok. But I still feel it sometimes, you know? And Ted gave me hope. If he could do it, then I could do it.

But the way that the finale played out, I feel like he didn’t do it. He went back to Robin. Did he ever really get over her? During the seven or eight years he was with Tracy, was he still in love with Robin? Did he settle for Tracy?

I felt like him going back to Robin cheapened him and Tracy. I felt like it negated all of the growth that he had to go through to get over Robin. And I felt like the nine years that I invested in the show were wasted, because they could have ended it at the end of the pilot by just saying “And that’s how I met Robin” instead of Aunt Robin.

So, yes. My hatred for the finale is personal. Because, to me, the show was personal. The show gave me hope that, one day, I’ll fully let go and walk forward because that’s what Ted did. But he didn’t. He went back.

I still have hope. But, not from Ted. His story is one that I can no longer look to for inspiration. But that's the beauty of living in a world with so many stories. You can carry one with you for as long as it inspires you, then you can look for another. And, all the while, you can be creating your own.

We > I

2014-02-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

I have a default mode.

You know, a way of being that, without purposed attention, I slip into almost effortlessly. My default mode can easily be described in one word. Really, just one letter.

It's "I".

And this "I" mode can show its ugly head in many different ways...
It can be displayed through selfishness. ("I want what's best for me!") It can be displayed through isolation. ("I don't need anyone else. I'm fine on my own.") And, it can be displayed through pride coupled with insecurity. ("I'm need people to think I'm the best so that I can feel good, so I'm going to try to handle this on my own.")

Over the past year, one of my biggest lessons has been that I need other people. That's not because I'm broken or incapable of independence. (Although, sometimes that's true.) It's more because that's the way God made me. (The earliest sign of this is Genesis 2:18. Many more follow.)

It's been an interesting and incredibly rewarding journey to walk. One that has changed (and will continue to change) me forever. Or course, since I'm not the smartest person, I've looked for a way to simplify this lesson so that I can easily recall it in times that I need it. So I came up with this:

We > I

It's easy to remember and direct enough to remind me of what I was made for.

This morning, it came to mind as I was reading my Bible.

I was reading Exodus 18 and came across the story of Moses' father-in-law coming for a visit. You can read the whole story here, but here's a summation: Jethro (Moses' father-in-law, not the cousin from The Beverly Hillbillies) comes to visit Moses and the Israelites in the wilderness. While there, he observes Moses acting as judge for all of the people. He would sit for long hours hearing every dispute and then dispensing advice or judgements based upon to principles of God. After seeing this for a while, Jethro went to Moses and said "What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out.The work is too heavy for you. You cannot handle it alone." From there, he gives Moses advice to delegate some of his responsibilities to others so that he can concentrate on what only he can do: meeting with God on behalf of the people.

So he gives his son-in-law a plan for how to do that.

But what really struck me was what I saw in verse 23. Here's what Jethro says will happen if Moses follows these instructions: "If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied." Basically, if Moses follows Jethro's advice, it will benefit both him and the people.

Isn't that amazing? When we participate in community, both sides win. When we share our lives with others, which can get messy and sometimes be tough, both sides are rewarded.

We > I.
It really, really is.

The Year I Swore Off Time Travel

2014-01-09T16:50:00.000-05:00

Here we are. Someone blinked, and now it's 2014. But, even though I suspect this isn't the year that I finally get the hoverboard I was promised by Robert Zemekis, I'm more excited about it than any other I can remember.

To explain further, I'll need to confess something to you. I struggle with remaining present in the moment. For the longest time, I've tried my best to escape the present (mostly due to me being unhappy, unwilling or unable to deal with what was going on in my life.)

To even type out that sentence on this blog produces all kinds of fear in me. It's an extremely transparent admission, that I was unhappy. I'm afraid to admit it here because I want people to think I've got it all together. 2013's biggest lesson for me was that I don't, and that's ok. Moreover, it's ok to admit it to other people. And, ever more, most of the time when you do finally fess up to it, you discover others don't have it together themselves and you end up finding better, more authentic, community. Gee, thanks 2013.

My method of escaping my unhappiness was to travel (inside my head) out of the present, and into the past or the future. I would relive relationships and events from the past or I would overemphasize the future in one of two ways: worry, or by thinking "everything in my life will be great whenever blank happens." (Most of the time, blank was either "when I get another job in full time ministry" or "when I find a relationship.") This has caused me to miss out on the now. In 2013, I looked up to realize I couldn't remember the last time I had been truly present for anything.

So why am I so excited for 2014? Because I've decided to give up time travel. Towards the end of last year, I began asking myself the question "What do you really love? What would your life look like if you did more of that?" I began asking myself these things because I came to the realization that I haven't done anything to invest in myself in quite some time. I haven't done anything to purposefully become more Josh. And, as best as I can reckon, the best way to be more in the present is to create one that you love instead of reliving the past or wishing for something in the future. I see now that it's time to put the DeLorean in the garage for good.

So, as a way of creating a present that I love in 2014, I've set some goals for myself. So far, it's a list of 15 things that I want to accomplish this year that I believe will increase who I am as a person. No, I'm not going to share them here. (Mostly because of this post from Donald Miller.) But, I'll probably write about them along the way.

For the first time in a long time, I'm excited about a great big blank canvas of possibility.

Question: What's one goal that you have for 2014 that will help you enjoy life more?

2013: A Year Surveyed

2013-12-31T13:00:00.000-05:00

After taking a few years off from this tradition (2010 - 2012), I've decided to pick it back up again. If you'd like to compare this to past years', you can click for 2009, 2008, 2007, and 2006.

1) What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?
Lost a former mentor and friend (same person) and helped people all over the world celebrate his life through the wonder of technology, led my home church in a night of worship, started a photography project with an action figure, received a widow's mite, spent Easter with someone else's family, toured the Ryman, celebrated 100,000 miles, tried schawarma, helped fund a movie (Veronica Mars) on Kickstarter, took a four year old to the movies for the first time, joined a new church in my home town, went deep sea fishing, ate at Motor Supply Company, read a book a friend wrote, spent the weekend at the beach with one of my best friends and his family, ran Folly Beach, ate some Cotton Candy Grapes and authentic British food, battled a chicken home invasion, took a month long sabbatical from social media, celebrated my great aunt and uncle's fiftieth wedding anniversary, hung out with three friends from California in South Carolina, started a new job, and celebrated my friend becoming an elder at his church.

2) Did you keep your New Year's resolutions and will you make more for next year?
You know, I've never been a resolutions guy. But I actually have been thinking about some for 2014. I'll have to write another post on those.

3) Did anyone close to you give birth?
Tara, Emily, Stacy, and Puddles' wife. And I've only met one of those babies. I need to change that.

4) Did anyone close to you die?
Rickwell (in January), and Pastor Don a few weeks ago.

5) What countries did you visit?
This year, I was supposed to visit Scotland with Ray. But instead, he got married. I would love to make it to another country in 2014. Who wants to go?! I've got an updated passport...

6) What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
I would like to have a deeper understanding of who I am, a bigger love for people, and a more intimate relationship with God.

7) What date(s) from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
March 31st, April 7th, and April 12th.

8) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I think my biggest achievement of the year would be taking steps toward becoming more of who God wants me to be. A lot of that was done through meeting with a counselor and beginning to do the hard work of addressing some things I had refused to deal with for years. It's been challenging but very rewarding.

9) Did you suffer any injury or illness?
Crazy sunburn from Folly Beach in September and a little bit of a cold now. But nothing too big.

10) What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets to Ft. Myers, FL and Nashville, TN, my ENO hammock, and several books that have changed my life.

11) Whose behavior merited celebration?
One of my best friends has met one of the toughest challenges I could imagine and, not only been transformed by it but, is now using it to minister to and help others. Proud is not a big enough word to describe how I feel about him.

12) Where did most of your money go?
A lot of it went into savings (thank goodness). A lot of it went towards traveling a little.

13) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
A few ministry job opportunities had me really excited this year, but none of them worked out. But that's ok. I believe God is directing me to where He wants me to be.

14) What song will always remind you of 2013?
I think there are two: I Will Fall (from Nashville) and Your Love Is Strong (by Jon Foreman).

15) Compared to this time last year, are you wiser? Healthier? Richer?
I wish I could describe to you just how much wiser and healthier I am than I have been in the past. But, honestly, there isn't enough room here to do that. As far as richer goes... My life is richer, but not my bank account. But, isn't that the point?

16) What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd done more to figure out what things light my soul and bring me life, then put my energy into pursuing those. I've only begun putting thought into that over the past few months and It's been a revolutionary process for me. I wish I'd started sooner.

17) What do you wish you'd done less of?
I wish I'd spent less time repressing and denying my emotions.

18) How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas was spent serving coffee to people at work. Afterwards, I went straight over to my family's house and spent an hour or so with them before everyone headed home. Not my favorite Christmas...

19) Did you fall in love in 2013?
I wasn't emotionally healthy enough this year to love anyone else. I'm not so sure I loved myself very well this year. But, 2013 has seen God do major work in my heart. So I'm looking forward to where 2014 can take this question.

20) What was your favorite blog post that you wrote?
This post, from September, is a pretty good description of my year. I'll go with it.

21) What were your favorite TV programs?
The Getaway, Nashville, and Breaking Bad.

22) What was the best book you read?
It's probably a tie between Breathing Underwater and Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. Both recommended by friends and both life changing.

23) What was your greatest musical discovery?
I found a few things I've loved. The music of Nashville, Jon Foreman's solo stuff, HAIM, and lots of worship music. Right now, I'm loving the soundtrack to The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Although, that might be because of how much I loved the movie.

24) What did you want and get?
Freedom and a small group of people who I love and who love me.

25) What did you want and not get?
A new ministry job. But I think I'm discovering that I've been looking for the wrong one. So, I'm excited to see what 2014 holds in this arena.

26) What was your favorite film of the year?
Without a doubt, it was The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Yes. Even more so than Iron Man 3 and Thor: The Dark World.

27) What did you do for your birthday, and how old were you?
You know, I don't really remember what I did for my 33rd birthday. But I did do some reflection on the year and my life. And that led me to write this.

28) Which celebrity/public figure did you like the most?
Probably Bob Goff. I want to be him when I grow up.

29) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
Jeans, Sanuks, cardigans. And I looked good.

30) What kept you sane?
More than anything else, 2013 led me into a deeper understanding of and desire for community. We can't do life on our own. We were made to depend on others. We > I.

31) Who did you miss?
I still miss all of my California friends. I'm going to try to get out there this year. But I would love for some of them to come and visit me!

32) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.
Suppressing your emotions doesn't get rid of them. It delays them. Also, it's impossible to live in contentment without living in the present. You'll never be happy replaying the past or worrying about the future.

33) What did you gain this year?
A deeper understanding of who I am, tools to help me become a better me, a community that loves me and in which I fit in, and a desire to become the best and healthiest me I can be.

34) What did you lose this year?
A guitar pick that I had since I was 15.

35) Who was the best new person that you met?
Absolutely the people in my small group. I love knowing that I get to do life with them every week!

36) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
The Kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure.
Would you sell yourself
To buy the one you've found?
-From "Your Love Is Strong" by Jon Foreman

Alright, 2014. I'm ready for you. Let's do this.

I Turn Everything Over

2013-12-18T11:34:00.000-05:00

My birthday was in October.

For me, it's become a time of year when I pause to reflect on my life. Typical questions that come to mind are: Did you accomplish what you wanted to in the past year? Did you make "progress"? Do you like who you are becoming? What changes need to be made for the coming year? Where do you want to go next? What's the plan to get there?

But this year was a little different. And it was all because of a number.

This year I turned 33.

What's the big deal about 33? It's just a number. What was I expecting to come after 32?

33 was the age at which Jesus was crucified and, for me, that has always held a lot of meaning and expectation.

Growing up in the South, I've always been taught that age equals wisdom. (It also grants authority.) This cultural axiom also seeped into my faith. Since I knew that Jesus was in his thirties during most of his recorded ministry in the Gospels, I always thought "Oh, that's just an adult doing adult things." But this year, when I turned 33, I realized that Jesus was my age when he died for my sins.

And that realization stopped me in my tracks.

How could someone my age do something so significant?

After a few days of thinking (and praying) about it, I came to this conclusion: Jesus wasn't significant because he was older, he was significant because he lived a life totally submitted to God.

I know what you're thinking (because I thought it too). Yes, Jesus is the Son of God. So, you know, He had a leg up. But, even though that's true, He humbled Himself and became just like us.

By living in complete submission to God's will for Him (really, for everyone) He was able to accomplish exactly what God wanted for Him. How? By being in perfect relationship with God. You see, you can't be in a right relationship with God and try to be in control. That's not how it works.

One of the things I've learned over the past year is that submission is one of the most important parts of sanctification. One of the reasons is, at least for me, submission is a moving target. Here's what I mean: At age 33, there's still things that I'm learning about myself. I'm still discovering new things about me. So, even if I could ever get to a place where I was 100% (truly, I'd settle for mid-eighties) submitted to God, I'd just keep discovering new parts of me (my soul, my heart, my intellect) that need to come under His rule. I can never fully arrive because as I grow and change I continue to turn the new me over to Him.

And that's really my goal for this year. I want to continue doing the hard work of submitting to Him. It's only in doing that that I can accomplish my purpose in life.

Question: Is it easy for you to not be in control? Why?

Would You Sell Yourself To Buy the One You've Found?

2013-09-05T10:47:00.000-04:00

Right now, I'm sitting in Starbucks.

I've been coming to this same one every day this week to work on a questionnaire for a church I'm interviewing with. Even though this has only happened for three days in a row, I've already developed a routine. Here's how it goes: Arrive around 9am. Order my drink. (Grande Soy Toffee Nut Triple Shot Latte) Find a table and sit down. Do my morning devotional.

After that, I get to the questionnaire. But, you know, first thing's first.

Right now, my devotion includes two things: First is a Bible reading plan from youversion.com. After that, I read a devotional guide from my church.

This morning, in that devotional guide, I was reminded of something that God has been speaking to me about for the past few months.

This morning's reading was from Matthew 6:19-24. Here, Jesus is talking about working hard to acquire material possessions vs. spending your time investing in the Kingdom of God. He sums it up by comparing the things we work for to treasure, and reminding us that material (he calls it earthly) treasure will one day be destroyed (by moths, or rust, or your friend's toddler that they bring over to your place when they visit), but heavenly treasure (things we do that show love to God or others) will last for eternity. Then, in the end, he hits you with this: "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Flashback (insert HIMYM WHOOOSH sound effect here) to 2011.

I remember teaching on the two shortest parables that Jesus taught. They're found in Matthew 13:44-45. In the first of the two, Jesus says "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." Here, Christ is speaking to the cost of following Him. Basically, it's costs everything. But it's a wonderfully profitable deal. You give all you have (which is relatively little) and gain what Jesus calls "full" life. And the best part is that this full life is really what our lives are supposed to be. What he designed us for. Life with Him. (And this life doesn't stop at death. It keeps going on for eternity.)

Flash forward to June of this year.

As I was sitting in my office one afternoon, I decided that I needed some new work tunes. I cranked up Spotify and turned on some Jon Foreman. One of his songs came up and spoke to me in a very strong way. I'm just going to put it right here in case you need a soundtrack to this post.

Out of that entire song, one line has stuck in my head for months:

"The kingdom of the heavens is buried treasure. Will you sell yourself to buy the one you've found?"

That lyric, an echo of those two verses (Matthew 6:21 and 13:44), has become a question that drives me. Will I sell myself (the things I care about, the dreams I have, the castles I've built, the hopes I've rested in apart from Him) to gain something infinitely more valuable: a right relationship with a God who loves me, who cares for me, who gave His Son to die for my sins so that I could be made right and have the ability to approach Him.

Now that's what I call a deal.

What treasure are you working for? What are you selling yourself for?

Josh Pease and The God Who Wasn't There

2013-09-03T10:17:00.000-04:00

Way, way back in the year of our Lord, 2008, I met Josh Pease.

I think that it was Allison that introduced us. I remember her saying, "I really like him. And you guys are a lot alike. So I really want you to meet him. Mainly because I think you're so alike, you'll either become best friends or archenemies."

I'm only slightly bummed that we didn't become archenemies.

Instead, he's become one of my favorite humans on earth. (I'm not counting the 6 people who are currently in space.)
Here's why I like him so much: He loves Jesus like crazy, and he likes all of the same things that I do.

Yes, Josh watches football and participates in a fantasy football league. Yes, Josh is a musician. (And a better one than me. Grr...) Yes, Josh likes movies. (In fact, he and I reviewed movies for a website for a while.) But, guys, I'm telling you, Josh loves Jesus. And, since the day that I met him, it has been written across his life and, as a result of that, my relationship with him.

Josh is a deep thinker and a great storyteller. On top of those two things, he believes that everything in life is spiritual. In other words, how you interact with God impacts your whole world. Because of all of that, he is constantly looking for God in life. This produces a theology that is both practical and philosophical. Josh's passion is to give that theology away to other people so that they can understand God better and, by understanding God better, live a better life. But here's what I love about him, he can do it in such a way that even a dummy like me can understand.

Why have I told you all of this about my friend? Because he released his first book today.

If you've got a Kindle (or a Kindle app on a smartphone/iPad/other thing) you can buy The God Who Wasn't There: Looking For a Savior In the Middle of Pain for $2.99. (I just did.)

Clocking in at 40 pages, it's not a long read. But, if it's anything like my friend, I know it'll be a good one. Josh always challenges my thinking, encourages me, and makes me laugh. I wanted to tell you about his book so that he could bless your life too.

Pick it up and read it. When you're done, let's meet for coffee and talk about it. I'm buying.

Another Shift and My Social Media Break

2013-09-01T09:00:00.000-04:00

(Blows dust off of blog)

Hello there, old friend. It's been a while...

Since I know that most of my readers have drifted off to much more populated (and active) blogging harbors by now, I'm going to assume that I'm writing this mostly for myself. (Which actually works out pretty well, since I think all of my best writing was done when I was doing just that.) And since I'm writing this for myself, I don't need to feel the burden of being weighted down by the need to explain what's happened since the fifth of March, when I last posted.

That being said, there are two things I want to say.

One, This past Friday (August 30, 2013) was my last day working at Trinity.

I began attending when I was two. Accepted Christ and was baptized there when I was ten. Felt called to ministry there at fifteen. Was commissioned and sent out to Saddleback from there when I was twenty two. Came on staff there when I was thirty. And am leaving after working there for two and a half years.

I love Trinity Baptist Church with my whole heart. And, right now, my heart is sad that my time there has come to an end. Thank you, Trinity, for all that you've given me. I have no idea where I'd be without you. I do know that my faith wouldn't be the same.

Since I'm not moving directly into another job, expect this blog to become regularly active once again. Not only is it a way to keep my mind active, it's a way to keep my hands busy. Because, as we all know, Idle's hands are the devil's play things.

And, two, I'm taking a break from social media for the month of September.

Why September? Because part of my job at Trinity was social media. Now that I no longer have those responsibilities, I can temporarily go off the grid.

I've got four reasons for this. First, I've noticed that I have a tough time being fully present in anything in my life, and I'd like to change that. So eliminating some distraction is a good thing. Second, I have a bad habit of checking facebook and twitter approximately a bazillion times a day. There was a time in my life when I wasn't tethered to anything. I'd like to undertake this experiment in an attempt to break their hold over my attention. Third, there are several things I'd like to spend the month learning about. Facebook and twitter bring so much information to my head everyday, but very little of it matters. I'd like to make a concentrated effort to cut down on the filler and concentrate on substance. And fourth, I have a feeling like the Lord is about to do something huge in my life, and I want to focus on getting ready for it.

You'll notice there are icons in the top of the right column linking you to all of the social networking sites I participate in. For the month of September, I'll be off of facebook, twitter, pinterest, and tumblr. The apps will be deleted from my iPhone and iPad. I'll still be posting to Instagram (since that's all pictures and all I have to do is look at the pretties and won't get distracted as easily) so you can catch me there. Oh, and if any of you on facebook read this far and need to get a hold of me, you can still send me a message. I'll still get those.

This blog post will post automatically on Sunday, September 1 at 9am. Other blog posts will follow. They will all be posted to facebook and twitter, but it will be done through blogger. I won't be going on there. Same goes for instagram pics. So, if you'd like to respond, leave a comment here. Otherwise, I won't see it until October.

Here's to a beautiful September...

The Widow's Offering

2013-03-05T11:52:00.002-05:00

About a month and a half ago, we had a big leadership meeting at our church. We gathered all of our leadership (deacons, teachers, ministry leaders) together for most of the day on a Saturday (yes, coffee and donuts and lunch were provided) and, as a staff, each took turns sharing with them a little about what we do, how we do it, and where we'd like to go in 2013.

Our pastor (@EGCoakley) shared first and, what he shared was pretty powerful. And do you know why? Because he used a prop. Who knew we could learn something about preaching from Carrot Top?

As each person entered the room for the meeting, Eddie stood at the door and handed them a tiny bronze coin from a small glass bowl. The coins were so small, that you had to hold them on your finger, kind of like you do with a contact lens. No one knew what they were or what they were for. All we knew was that Eddie said not to lose them, as they were important and expensive.

Here's a pic of two of them.

That gives you a decent idea of what I'm talking about. But how about another pic for size?

Here's the same pic, but with a Dime added for comparison. I like stating obvious things in caption form.

He went on to explain that he purchased each of these coins for around five dollars each ($5!) and that they were around 2000 years old. If he would have stopped there, my mind would have sufficiently been blown. But he didn't.

These small, bronze coins (a lepton) were the lowest, least valuable form of currency in Jesus' time. They were also what the widow in Mark 12:41-44 gave as an offering. I was holding a 2000 year old coin in my hand.

Since then, I've kept the coin. I've held it many times and reflected on how just two of these could be someone's entire savings. And how she could give them anyway. I've also thought about how tightly I hold on to the things I have. Strangely enough, I don't really struggle with giving God my money. But ask me to trust Him with my relationships? My plans? My future? That's when you'll see my grip tighten.

Jesus uses the widow's example to teach his disciples. Throughout the Gospels he can be seen taking what seemed small or insignificant, and using it to change the world. But the things he used had to be given to him.

I'm continuing to think about how that shakes out in my life. What am I holding back from Jesus that he wants to use?

What about you? What's your bronze coin?

#OldSchoolCaseyJones

2013-03-02T11:25:00.001-05:00

Confession: I love taking pictures.

It's something that I've enjoyed since I started college (way back when I was using Kodak Advantix). My junior year, I was able to buy a nice Canon Rebel that I used to cling to 35mm film photography until I began graphic design and had to make the switch to digital. I bought my first digital camera in 2006 (6 megapixels for, like, $300). Then, when I got my first iPhone in 2011, I went mobile. I began taking all of my pictures using my cell phone (which was a 5 megapixel camera). With my recent (December) upgrade to the iPhone 5, I've now got an 8 megapixel camera in my pocket at all times. (Booyah.)

So, needless to say, I'm on Instagram.

I could write pages about how much I love Instagram. But, for the purposes of this post, I'll limit my love to one thing.

During the month of February, I decided that i wanted to participate in one of those "photo a day" things. The one that I chose was created by FatMumSlim. But, here's the thing. I didn't want to do it in any normal way. I wanted something that would make it different and creative. Not to mention fun.

While hanging out with my brother one Sunday, I found one of my old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures in his room. It was Casey Jones. It was then that an idea (not to mention a #hashtag) was born.

Each day in February, I had a word or phrase to theme my picture with. Each day in February, Old School Casey Jones had an adventure. And I documented it on Instagram.

Click the jump to see the photos...

Old school Casey Jones tried to fight me for my dinner.

We don’t need to talk about who won.

#FMSPHOTOADAY #fork

Sometimes, in order to defeat his enemies,

Old School Casey Jones has to scale some high walls.

He doesn’t let it stop him though. He says, “Hey. Walls. I’m coming. Get ready.”

#FMSPHOTOADAY #Pattern

Old School Casey Jones doesn’t just fight evil. He also fights the common cold.

His weapon of choice? Emergen-C. Oh, and a baseball bat.

#FMSPHOTOADAY #SomethingThatBeginsWithE

What is Old School Casey Jones’ greatest foe? Early mornings.

How does he combat against this terrible villain? Coffee.

Gallons and gallons of coffee.

#FMSPHOTOADAY #SomethingYouSmelled

Even Old School Casey Jones needs to take a break from fighting crime to eat lunch.

But don’t worry. Those are reduced fat Cheez-its.

(Vigilantes can’t have love handles. It’s in their job description.)

#FMSPHOTOADAY #SomethingOrange

Just as any prey of the animal kingdom fears its predator,

all pancakes instinctively fear Old School Casey Jones.

He taunts them from the shadows. His hand gently resting on the bacon

that he carries with him wherever he goes. (For emergencies.)

#FMSPHOTOADAY #GuiltyPleasure

Being the world’s best vigilante isn’t all about capturing criminals and stopping injustice.

Old School Casey Jones also knows it’s about staying physically fit enough to do the job.

How does he stay in crime fighting shape? By making sure he spends at least an hour each day #walking. Oh, and also he bench presses mini coopers.

#FMSPHOTOADAY

1 John 4:19 says, “We love, because He first loved us.” And HOW did God love us?

1 Corinthians 13 is a perfect description of what His true and perfect #loveis.

And even Old School Casey Jones knows that… #FMSPHOTOADAY

Even masked vigilantes need friends.

Well… Maybe “need” is too strong of a word…

“Seriously, Tony? Bunny ears?”

#FMSPHOTOADAY #perfect

Everyone knows that Old School Casey Jones doesn’t like crime. (And early mornings.)

But only those close to the masked vigilante know that he LOATHES an empty office candy dish. #FMSPHOTOADAY #SomethingYouDontLike

Someone once asked Old School Casey Jones, “What #makesyousmile?.”

He thought for a second, looked up, and said,

“The sound of my bat breaking over the back of injustice. And traveling the world.”

#FMSPHOTOADAY

And, even though it isn't a part of photo a day, I like this one as a shout out to my friend, Rick.

Picked up my #LiveLikeRick mug from @JamestownCoffee this morning!

Pick yours up today!

So should I continue documenting the adventures of Old School Casey Jones?

Advice To a Former Student

2012-10-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

One of the joys of student ministry is that, sometimes, we get to see the results of our labor. This isn't always immediate. In fact, most of the time, it takes years.

One former student of mine is now a youth pastor himself! (This makes me feel both immensely proud and incredibly old.) Of course, every student chooses their own path.

I got a message from one of my former students a few weeks ago saying that, in recent years, he had "fallen out of faith" and asking for some advice on how to begin the spiritual growth process again.

What I wrote him isn't revolutionary, but I thought I'd share it here just in case you had a similiar situation.

Here's the deal. There's no magic formula for growing closer to God. What God desires from us is a RELATIONSHIP with Him. So, think about it this way: You've got all kinds of relationships. Friends, family, girlfriend, etc. How do you grow closer to any of them? You spend TIME with them! Right?

It works the same with God. You have to spend time with Him. Now, having said that, there's really three GREAT ways to do that.

1) Read God's Word. I can't stress enough how important this is. This is the primary way that God reveals Himself to us. It's an important habit to develop and practice EVERYDAY! If you need a tool to do this, check out www.youversion.com. They've got some GREAT reading plans that can help (and that you can use on your android or iPhone). I recommend starting with a small one like just the book of John first.

2) PRAY! Talk to God! Ask Him to reveal Himself to you! Tell Him your feelings! Tell Him your hopes. Your fears! Ask Him to help you by giving you a deeper desire to know Him! PS, prayer is a conversation. Conversations involve talking AND listening. So don't forget to listen for Him to speak to you. (Guess how He primarily speaks? Yup. Through His Word.)

3) Find a church where you can find community. We're not meant to do life by ourself. We need accountability, encouragement, and prayer. We also need people that are smarter than us and are farther along in their relationship with God to help guide us. (Is this sounding like a small group to you?) Find a local church to invest in.

Student Discipleship Resources

2012-09-24T12:04:00.000-04:00

In our student ministry at Trinity, we have three main programs.

First, is our MidWeek worship service. This is our "front door" program that we encourage students to bring their non-believing friends to so that they can get a taste of what church and God are all about.

Second, is Sunday School. Sunday School is where our students are divided into grade groups (6, 7-8, 9-10, and 11-12) and delve deeper into God's Word.

Finally, on Sunday evenings, we have our discipleship groups. Discipleship groups are divided up by gender and by high school and middle school. This is where we hope to train our students to tell others about their faith.

A good way to look at these three programs is through the lens of the SBC's "KNOWN" strategy: Our ministry exists to help students know Christ (MidWeek), own their faith (Sunday School), and make their faith known (discipleship groups).

This semester, we've begun using two resources that I wanted to pass along to you. One is the curriculum that we're using in our groups. The other, a series of youtube videos that could be used by anyone at any time!
Last semester, our discipleship groups used what ever study the leader liked (that was also approved by our student pastor). But, this year, every group is using the same this. GodQuest, by Sean McDowell (son of Josh), is a 6 session DVD based study that "answers the most critical challenges teens face on their spiritual journey."

So far, in the high school guys' group that I teach, this has been a big hit. Even though each session is designed to go about 2 hours, we've split them in half. We'll start by showing the 15 minute video (with such presenters as Sean Mcdowell, Lee Strobel, Dr. Craig Hazen, Miles McPherson, and Josh McDowell) in a large group setting, then break into our smaller groups to discuss.

If you're looking for a study that is systematic, uses media/video, is Biblically rooted, and leans more on using leaders to lead discussion rather than teach, I can't recommend this resource enough.

Next, is a yotube video series called The One Minute Apologist. We've just discovered this series on youtube and have already shown one or two to our students. Here's why I like them: They tackle serious and relevant faith questions head on by asking experts about them and they do so in a short video that's only a few minutes long! It'd be super easy for you to pull one of these videos up on your phone to show to a student or friend in Starbucks while you were talking over a cup of coffee.

If you find yourself short of answers, or just want to provide a different perspective, these videos could be a great tool to have at your ready!

Resources For Worship Leaders

2012-09-10T11:29:00.002-04:00

I love leading worship!

To be able to express my love for God though music and song, and help others do the same, is a beautiful thing!

Since taking on leadership of our student worship ministry, I've been introduced to some great resources for worship leaders that I wanted to let you know about. Check them out!

Songselect (CCLI)- Songselect is a part of CCLI (Christian Copyright Licensing International). It's probably not a big surprise to you that, when you play or perform someone's song, you've got to make sure that you're kosher with copyrights. CCLI helps you do that. But what is a surprise is that, through songselect, you can get chord charts, lead sheets, lyrics, and sheet music for most worship songs! It's a paid service that comes with your CCLI membership.

Worshiptutorials.com- Two Mays ago, I went to Nashville to take part in writing some curriculum for Lifeway. One of the other guys that they flew in was Brian Wahl. Brian is a youth worker and worship leader out of Durham, NC who has an incredible heart for helping other worship leaders. So, he created this website to provide training, ideas, and recommendations for worship leading. He's got some great content! Check him out! And, best of all, it's free!

Praisecharts.com- Our worship pastor, Jeremy, introduced me to this site last week. I was trying to find music to Kristian Stanfill's "Who You Are" and songselect didn't have it. But praisecharts.com did! Look up songs by title and buy charts or sheet music a la carte for a bout the cost of an itunes song.

Question: What resources do you go to for help in leading worship?

Things I Love: Series 4

2012-09-06T08:00:00.049-04:00

For some time now on my twitter, I've been posting a series of tweets about things I love. I figured I'd collect them all in one place (along with making some of them into links). You can check out the entire series by clicking here. I mean, this way, if you ever want to buy me a gift, you can. After all, my birthday is next month.

Vol 20: Skinny Ties, Tiny Wings, Cake (the food and the band), THOR, Air Conditioning, My iPhone, Nachos, Amy Poehler, Sonic Ice, Coke Zero, Bananas

Vol 21: SC State Fair Corn Dogs, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, Candy Corn, iOS5, Sanuks, My Birthday (10/27), Diet Dr. Pepper

Vol 22: Late Night FRIENDS Reruns On Nick At Nite

Vol 23: Mio, Dunkin Donuts' Hazelnut Coffee, Wheaties, Rocky 3, the MyFitnessPal app, Canoeing, Oak Valley, Jeopardy, Tacos

Question: What are some things that you love?

ManCans

2012-09-05T08:00:00.016-04:00

I love stories.

I'm especially moved and inspired by stories of teenagers using their passions or resources to change the world by helping others. Austin Gutwein is a great example of this. But I wanted to let you know of another story that I just found out about two days ago.

Two years ago, Hart Main was just 13 years old when his sister started selling candles for a school fundraiser. Thinking that the candles she was selling were "really girly scents", he wondered, "Why don't people sell candles with scents that men like?" Out of that idea, ManCans was born.

ManCans has candles with scents like bacon, sawdust, dirt, campfire, Grandpa's pipe, and new mitt. If the story stopped right there, I'd already be a big fan. (I mean, who doesn't want a candle that smells like Grandpa's pipe!?) But it doesn't!

Hart thought that, if his candles were going to smell like things that men like, they couldn't come in glass jars like ordinary candles do. So he started using soup cans to house them. But a problem arose. When the candles' demand skyrocketed after some media coverage (including the Today Show), the need for soup cans went up as well. Since their family bought the cans (and the soup that came in them) from their local grocery store, they needed to figure out something to do with the soup.

They started donating the soup to the Red Cross and local soup kitchens. For every candle sold, one meal (the soup) is given to "people who need a little extra help." To date, Hart has helped feed 30,000 people.

Now that's impressive.

At $9.50 each, Hart's candles are great gifts on their own. But coupled with their affect on the lives of others, they're a home run. Go to man-cans.com and order one for yourself. And while you're there, read up on Hart's story. It's a great one.

Question: How are you inspiring/equipping your students to use what God has given them to impact the world?

STUDENT ministers

2012-09-04T08:00:00.002-04:00

My boss, Bryant, has a great story of how, when he was in high school, he started attending our church. Half of it involves a cute girl talking to him. But the other half (the half this post has the most to do with) involves two other high school guys talking to him, and visiting him at his home.

Because of those two guys (that were his age) and the way they showed care for him, he knew that our church was a place he wanted to be. They also created in him a value that we are now trying to create in our ministry.

Because of transitions of leadership in our student ministry in the past few years, 6th grade promotion has been a bit fluid. (2 years ago it was in May. Last year, in January.) This year, after meeting with our children's director and executive pastor, we've finally landed on a plan that we think will be good moving forward: promoting in the fall on the Sunday after school starts.

Leading up to our promotion last month, we did our best (in a few different ways) to instill in our students how important it was that they welcome our new students into our group. That something as simple as saying hello, or asking someone to sit beside them, could make a world of difference.

So, promotion Sunday came. And, you know what? Our students were great! I saw them initiating conversations with newbies, escorting them from the worship center to our student building, and sitting with them in preparation for Sunday School. In short, they were ministering!

I'm so proud of them!

Hopefully, our new students will feel like our church is a place that they can call home, but not because of how cool our building is or how great the music might be. Hopefully, it'll be because of other students caring for them!

Question: How are you training your students to reach out to their peers?

The Music Guy

2012-08-21T08:00:00.040-04:00

I've been absolutely blessed to work with some amazing people in my career. And I've done my best to learn from every one of them.

Since moving back to South Carolina and starting my job at my home church, I've, once again, been given more than I deserve in coworkers. (Two guys I'm on staff with were members of the youth group with me in middle school and high school. I've known one of them since I was 2!)

A little under two months after I started, our church hired a new Music Pastor. His name is Jeremy Hansard and he's become one of my absolute favorite people to work with.

He's also started his own blog! I was originally going to point you there so that you can download a song he wrote for a children's music camp, but I see that he's been writing a little more since then. Check him out at jeremyhansard.com and, if you're in children's ministry, download and use his song!

Psalm 112

2012-08-20T08:00:00.084-04:00

I turned my life over to God almost 22 years ago.

I felt called to serve Him vocationally about 17 years ago.

I began my education to serve him 14 years ago.

I began my training almost 9 years ago.

And I started my first pastoral job a little over 7 years ago.

In all that time, I've been told of the importance of spending time in God's Word. I wish I could say that, for the whole 22 years, doing that has been a priority to me. But, to be honest, it hasn't. But I can say that, as an adult (and as a vocational minister), it has.

One thing that's always amazed me about the Bible is how God speaks to me so specifically through it. Now, I don't mean specific as in "to me only". I mean specific as in He speaks to events or relationships or troubles in my life. He doesn't speak to me in the form of general "fortune cookie" advice. He goes straight for my heart.

One of the most recent examples of this occurred a few weeks ago as I was spending time one morning reading Psalm 112.

Sometime in 2011, I had been using a youversion Bible reading plan that took me through the books of Psalm and Proverbs in 31 days. During that time, the majority of the passages I felt God speaking to me through dealt primarily with waiting. Why? I was waiting on an answer from Him about something. But, on this particular early July morning, as I sat in a church in Atlanta, GA, God grabbed my attention with this passage:

Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
they will be remembered forever.
They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes. Psalm 112:6-8 NIV

They will have no fear of bad news? Whoa. How is that even possible?

It's simple. (NOT easy.) the second line of verse 7 answers it. Their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.

This Psalm reminded me of a post that I wrote 5 years ago. In it, I quoted a line from Anne Rice's book, Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt.

"Joseph doesn't have to understand, because Joseph trusts in the Lord completely."

That had stuck with me at the time. Mainly because I could not separate my own understanding from God's trustworthiness. Surely, if God is doing something I'll understand it. If God does it, it has to make sense. Right? Wrong. But it took me some time to learn that.

Upon reading these verses from Psalm 112 last month, I felt the Lord nudging me about my trust. Am I trusting Him completely? Or am I trying to BE Him? To control things? To make my life and my world into what I think it should be?

The longer I've known God, the more He's proved His trustworthiness. The more I've read, studied, and meditated on His Word, the more I've seen this character trait displayed and talked about. But, the more I've allowed (let's be honest here, sometimes forced) myself to radically trust Him, the more I've learned that's it's never a mistake.

Question: What area of your life is God encouraging you to trust Him more in?

Sometimes Simple Is Better!

2012-07-17T08:00:00.000-04:00

I'm a big fan of programming. And I've had the opportunity to work in two churches where programming is done big and it's done well!

But this summer, at Trinity, we decided to simplify things a bit. Two of the things we're doing are as simple as can be but have been BIG hits!

Here they are. Use them if you want to!
The first thing we're doing is a Sunday night hang out we're calling F3 (food, fellowship, and fun). We've talked with a few families in our church that have pools. Each Sunday night, everyone comes over and we eat, swim, and hang out! The host home provides the main course (burgers, hot dogs, pizza, etc.) and we reimburse them for it. The students bring wither a 2 liter soda (if their last name starts with A-H), a bag of chips (I-Q), or a dessert (R-Z).

It's the type of program that I would normally expect (and be fine with) small numbers in attendance. But we've had TWICE what I expected at each one. And more than that at the last one this past Sunday! And it's been super fun to be able to sit down, relax, have a chili dog, and talk with our students without having to worry about times or service elements or transportation.

Is this possible to pull off in a large church setting? Probably not. But if you've got a large group, you've probably got your own facility (or at least one you use). Bring the students there and break out the games or a movie!

Secondly, (and we don't do this one too often) this week we're meeting up for lunch with our students. Each day of the week, we've selected (and publicized) a different restaurant to meet at (all in the Chick-Fil-A price range). My boss and I show up from 11:30am-1pm and students are free to drop in and eat and hang anytime in that window. Once again, super simple. But super fun!

Our goal for both of these things was HIGH relational value and LOW cost.

Question: How are you encouraging relational growth this summer in your ministry?

Embrace the Curl

2012-07-06T15:30:00.002-04:00

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about contentment. It's not necessarily that I'm discontent, but more out of self examination and reflection. It's always good to be asking yourself if you like where your life is, where it's going and, of course, examining both in light of God's Word.

My present examination reminded me of a big lesson that I learned about contentment a few years ago.

When I was younger (like, from birth through middle school) I had very straight hair. My mom was nice enough to have it cut in an outstanding bowl cut style that made me look like that little kid that was friends with Gary Coleman on Diff'rent Stokes who grew up to be Bobby Budnick on Salute Your Shorts. (I hope you followed that reference.)

Once I reached adolescence, I decided that I wanted to grow my hair long. But there was one problem: once I hit puberty, my hair changed. It became super wavy, then curly. I hated it! So, I did everything I could to get rid of the curl. Unfortunately, since I know absolutely nothing about hair care (other than shampoo is a thing and that I should use it), that meant I kept my hair short. This meant getting it cut short every four weeks and scheduling another cut before even leaving the barber's.

Exhibit "A"

To be honest, a lot of that had to do with how other people looked around me and worrying about what they'd think if I looked different. (Typical teenage stuff.) But once I became more comfortable with myself (around senior year and into college), I started to embrace (but not shake) "what my mama gave me".

So in college, I grew my hair a little, cut it off, grew it a little, etc.

But the point of all this isn't my hairstyle. That's just how I learned the lesson. The real lesson is me accepting me and learning to not only be happy, but to embrace who I am.

I wish that I had a three step formula that I could give you that would help you to do the same. I don't. I suppose there's only two things that really help. One is time. I'm still learning how to do this. Some days a wave of comparison washes up and knocks me down from contentment. It's aided by jealousy and it's a nasty little bugger. But the other thing, the most important thing, is an understanding and embrace of God's love for me.

It's something that, if I'm honest, I still don't fully understand. But I understand more today than I did 14 years ago. And that understanding has caused a shift in me that draws me to think less of what others' opinions of me are and more of what God says about His love for me.

And that's a beautiful place to be.

I know I'm not the only one out there who struggles with contentment, comparison, jealousy, and pride. But, if I can offer you an encouraging word from my struggle it'd be this: Learn to shift your focus from you to God. In moments of struggle, take time to intentionally meditate on His truth. Spend time in His Word. It will change your heart!

Embrace the curl.

That's a picture of me taken while with our students at camp in June. As you can see, I've learned that curly hair isn't all that bad. I actually like it! For me, "embrace the curl" has become a kind of mantra. It's meant to remind me of all that I have to be thankful for. Especially when I begin to lose focus and compare. It's also a gentle nudge back to God. And I know that, sometimes, we could all use that.

Question: What personal reminders do you have in place to help you when you lose focus on God?

Water, Water, Everywhere

2012-07-03T08:00:00.000-04:00

Not arranged in order of deliciousness.

I moved back to South Carolina on December 17, 2008. Which means I've been back in the motherland for almost 4 years. When I moved back, I'm sad to say, I kind of let myself go (fitness wise). Looking back, I think it was a combination of feeling down, being without a job, and all of the delicious southern food I had missed out of for the 6 years I lived in Southern California.

As a result, I put on some weight.

But, earlier this year, I decided I had had enough! So, as I did back in 2006, I joined a gym and started to watch what I ate.

But, I am doing one thing differently this time around.It's been over a month since I've drank any soda.

That might not be a big deal to you. But for me, it's HUGE! Why? Because I'm used to drinking upwards of 4 or 5 a day. (This, combined with my morning cup of coffee.) Now, it should be noted that these were all diet sodas. But still...

Anyway, it always helps to replace something that you're trying to give up with something else. So I started drinking Mio.

Mio's sugarless, calorie-less, sodium-less, and fat-less. But it still tastes pretty great. (Think a healthy version of Koolaid or Gatorade.) They're about $3.84 at Target and they're totally worth it! One bottle lasts about 24 bottles of water.

I've taken the initiative to rank each of the 9 flavors in descending order of deliciousness.

1) Mango Peach

2) Orange Tangerine

3) Fruit Punch

4) Peach Tea

5) Strawberry Watermelon

6) Blueberry Lemonade

7) Berry Pomegranate

8) Lemonade (Haven't tried yet)

9) Sweet Tea (Haven't tried yet)

So, there you go. Looking to cut a few calories out of your diet? Try some Mio.

Love Does: A Review

2012-07-02T08:00:00.017-04:00

I've mentioned Bob Goff here, on my blog, before. I've learned a lot about following Jesus and loving others from his musings on twitter. I'd definitely encourage you, if you have a twitter account, to follow him. Lucky for us, Bob decided to write a book.

From his twitter account, it was easy to see that Bob was a man of deep compassion, love, and action. Many adventures (or, capers, if you will) were hinted at, but left unexplained thanks to the 140 character limit. Bob's book, Love Does, pulls back the curtain, allowing us to gaze in wonder at a life lived full throttle for Jesus.

I've already written one post on something I've learned from the book. Here's a few other quotes that stuck with me:

"I have an overwhelming sense of gratitude as I get older because I can see, both through the good times and the bad times, that God has been with me."
"In the Bible, the people following God had the same problem I did. They swapped the real thing for an image of the real thing. We target the wrong thing and our misdirected life’s goal ends up looking like a girl or a wide-brimmed hat or a golden calf. All along, what God really wants for us is something much different, something more tailored to us."
"If Jesus has taught me anything, though, it’s that sometimes you can really want to know somebody and it takes them forever to want to know you back."
"Am I the right guy? I don’t know, but I’m the guy being asked, and the last thing I want to do is miss an opportunity or make God mad, so I just keep saying yes."
"God searches for us, no matter what dark place we’re in or what door we’re behind. He hears our impossible, audacious prayers for ourselves and others. And He delights in forgiving us and then answering those prayers by letting us return home to Him."

And there are so much more! If you'd like to check out some other things I highlighted in the book, you can go to my Kindle highlight page here.

Have you ever met someone that was an incredible storyteller? Maybe they were able to enthrall you for hours simply by telling you about their lives? Maybe even at the end of a story they were able to reveal some truth about life or God that, because they were able to reveal it to you as a part of their story, became part of yours? If not, let me introduce you to Bob.

Pick up his book and get to know him. You'll be glad you did.

The Best Movies of 2012 (So Far)

2012-06-25T08:00:00.019-04:00

I see a lot of movies. One year, I saw 64. (What can I say? I had a few free tickets.) Because of this (and because I like to talk about movies), I get asked for recommendations all the time.

So far, this year, I've seen 20 movies.

And out of those 20, here are the ones I can solidly say you should see...

1) The Artist- If you kept up with the oscars at all this year, then you know all about this film. If you haven't heard (no pun intended), it's silent movie. I was awestruck with how different the experience of watching a movie with no sound (except background music) was. I found myself being bothered with ambient noise coming from the audience that I would have never noticed before. But, if you're watching it at home, you won't have to worry about that. It's a beautiful story of someone struggling with progress and change while falling in love. There's also a cute dog.

2) The Desendants- First, this movie was written by two "second banana" comedic actors. Second, it'a a very realistic story (except for the part of someone cheating on George Clooney) of a family struggling to stay together and love each other through a tragedy. Shailene Woodley is great as an angry daughter who feels no one listens or cares for her. And George Clooney is, once again, awesome as a man who is figuring it out as he goes. The visuals that the setting provides (Hawaii) are beautiful and set the movie in a unique universe.

3) The Avengers- I've seen this movie 4 times. And, knowing the kind of money it's made so far, so have you. It's probably the most fun a superhero movie has ever been. And they finally got the Hulk right. See it.

4) Brave- I. Love. Pixar. Plain and simple. I think Up was, not only, their best movie, but one of the best movies of 2009. Period. Pixar knows how to tell a story. While I don't think Brave belongs on the same level as Up, I loved the story. Pixar also completely rewrote their animation software for this one, so the visuals and animation are on another level completely than their previous work.

So, there you have it. Four recommendations of movies that you should see.
Question: What movies that have come out this year would you recommend?