Cindy's Worldzzz

Family, Relative... Toxic

2018-03-13T11:48:00.000+08:00

I have been patient all the time of what happen to my so-called TOXIC family/relative which they always being an eye on my failure and success or good.

Yesterday, hubby came across this article by The Minds Journal - 'Why It's Okay To Cut Toxic Family Members From Your Life' and I found it is so true and would like to share out here.

We get it, your connection with your family supposed to be this mythical bond that nobody and nothing can break - however, sometimes it's okay to distance yourself from certain family members, even if that means cutting them off indefinitely.

You should never compromise your mental, emotional or physical health for the sake of tolerating a toxic family member.

'Before your start blocking Aunt Susan and your second cousin, it's important to recognize the signs of a toxic person':

They're Judgmental

Constructive criticism is healthy, but persistent, unwarranted criticism can deteriorate anyone's self-esteem.

They Feed Off Drama

Have you ever turned to a family member for some personal advice? Yet, somehow after you've shared your most vulnerable moments with them - someone you thought was a trusted ally - somehow everyone in your family knows everything about your personal life (including your distant cousin in Hungary, who you've never met).

They Gaslight you

If your family member continually claims they never said something, when you and everyone else knows they did, it might not seem that serious. However, this is a form of gaslighting, which is highly emotionally abusive behaviour.

They only Talk to you when they need something from you

Often, they'll go to you for advise or emotional comfort. But once you turn to them for support, they dismiss you needs or hold your personal information against you.

They flip-flop between positive and negative reinforcement

They can lash out at you, yell, insult you. However, once you ignore them after this senseless attack, they'll like coax you back into their trap by offering you pseudo-praise and support. Typically these positive interactions are short-lived before this individual goes back to their typical manipulative behaviour. If anyone in your family displays any of they symptoms of toxic (ie. abusive) behaviour, they're putting your mental health in jeopardy.

Alithia Asturrizaga, a licensed clinical social worker at Alithia Psychotherapy Associates, P.C., explains to Her Campus, “I have worked with countless people who have lived their lives dealing with toxic family members and significant others. In fact, this is one of the chief reasons that many people seek therapy.”

Toxic relationships, even with family members, can drain you emotionally, which can impact your overall mental well-being. Nevertheless, you shouldn't accept this as the status quo.

There are certain techniques that people can use to make these relationships more tolerable—these methods generally involve distancing yourself to a certain degree from the toxic person. However, in many cases, the best solution is to remove the toxic individual from your life completely. This is rarely easy and is often complicated and emotionally conflicting in the case of close family relationships, such as with a parent—but when situations deteriorate to the point of making it impossible to live a happy and liberated life, this course of action is usually the best,” Asturrizaga says.

This abusive behavior isn’t confined to romantic relationships because anyone can have a toxic influence on your life.

Shannon Battle, LPC LCAS for the last eight years at Families Services of America, tells Her Campus that the best way to approach a toxic person is first to establish boundaries. To help stick to these boundaries, Battle suggests, “Anytime you deal with toxicity, understand there is a learning curve. There will be periods of uncertainty, guilt, and possible loss in relationships. You have to determine the level of sacrifice you are willing to make to protect your emotions and those that trust you to protect them as well. Sometimes, you have to hurt one to help another. The hurt is never intended to be malicious, but always done in love and respect. Behavior is choice-driven.”

Although you might feel an innate impulse to keep your toxic family member in your life, especially if that family member is your parent, it’s important to understand that keeping a toxic person in your life will have damaging effects on your mental health.

While you might try to convince your family member that what they’re doing is emotionally harmful to you, it’s possible that your family member won’t change—and that’s okay.

Personally, I spent most of my teenage years and a couple of years of my adulthood trying to get my parents to comprehend their emotionally abusive and toxic behavior. After finally convincing my mother to go to therapy with me, so my therapist could help her comprehend her abusive behavior (so she could make a positive change), my mother vehemently denounced my therapist’s suggestions and proclaimed that I was the one “who needed help, because [I was] the one who [was] crazy.” Not only did her statement perpetuate offensive ableist language, but it also contributes to the ignorant stigma that only the “emotional fragile” need therapy. In reality, everyone can benefit from therapy and counselling.

Before this instance, I’d heard similar phrases from my mother countless times. I told myself that her abhorrent behavior wasn’t worth sacrificing my mental health and emotional well-being because she was obviously never going to change—so I needed to change the situation to protect myself from this abuse.

Initially, I felt worthless because the very person who birthed me refused to change to keep me in her life, but I realized that I couldn’t force her to change.

Nevertheless, it’s okay if the toxic family member in your life never changes. Though you might become obsessed with getting them to change, this obsession can also negatively impact your mental health. Imagining a life where you disassociate from a family member might seem unfathomable, but it’s possible—because you don’t need them.

Even after you distance yourself from that toxic person, it will still take time to recover from that abuse, and that’s okay, too. Family is a subjective term, so you can form a new family from your supportive friends. Surrounding yourself with supportive people will help you reinforce the positive change that you need in your life.

While my personal experience with toxic parents might seem like an isolated event, it isn't. Lori Osachy, MSS, LCSW and director and owner of The Body Image Counseling Center, explains to Her Campuss, "Often one of these toxic family members is a parent. It is extremely painful to realize that a toxic parent's personality is very unlikely to ever change. The decision to go low or no-contact, and then stick with one's decision, can be excruciating. on top of that, my clients often do not realize the parent's behaviour is toxic, so they continue to put up with abusive behaviours." It can be a never-ending cycle of abusive behaviour, until you accept that this behaviour ism in fact, harmful and that it won't change until you distance yourself from this family member.

“The social stigma of needing to ‘honor thy mother and father’ is another stumbling block. Sometimes cutting a parent out of your life is the best decision, but you need enormous support and education to do it successfully and experience relief,” Osachy says.

As someone who’s perfected the art of cutting toxic lovers, friends and family out of her life, the toxic person in your life might try to gaslight you into thinking that you’re actually the abuser.

They will likely claim that they’ve been victimized because you’re avoiding them, just because they give you the false sense of change or because they’ve made you feel remorse. These are the same abusive tactics they’ve used before, and you shouldn’t backpedal and accept them back into your life.

After all, toxicity is noxious, and you don’t need that kind of behavior killing your mental health.

xxxxxx

I have it, I face it, I am enough... Toxic get away from me & my family.

2018-01-23T10:59:00.003+08:00

23rd January 2018

This morning I have came across a very good story what is marriage life about. As wishfully I have shared it in my Facebook & Blog and must read story for every married couple to read...

Sammy Y. Baya is with Karol Muriuki and Cosmas Marus.

January 15 at 1:46pm

I was married, had been with my wife for 15 years. Then I left her 2 months short of our 10 year wedding anniversary.

We were parents to two beautiful children,... who are in their late teens now, but were only seven and nine years old when I walked out.

I travelled for work, stayed in a different hotel at least three nights a week. That’s how I met Eve*.

We got to know each other over time. We became Facebook friends. We sent messages to each other all day and night. She was also married, also had two kids. We had so much in common, we soon fell in love. I felt like she 'got' me.

This was all during a very trying time in my marriage. I wasn’t happy, I didn’t look forward to going home. My wife had put on weight, we hardly ever spoke, she always looked so miserable.

Little did I realise that I was the reason she was so down and depressed. I didn’t pay her any attention. I took her for granted. I was too busy wishing my life was more exciting, being romanced online, spending all of my free time thinking how I could get out.

I believed she didn’t love me. I convinced myself she never cared about me or my needs and wants and wishes, that all I was was a paycheck.

She spent her free time taking care of us -- our kids, making our suppers, doing out washing, making lunches, doing homework, projects, shuttling kids to sport, taking care of the pets they loved so much, their friends, and had a job of her own on top of it all.

Every time she spoke to me, all I heard was nagging and whining. But she was actually begging for my attention: a weekend away, a date night, a movie -- everything I ended up doing with Eve behind her back and after I left my family.

We argued and fought because we felt unheard by the other. And yet that was all we actually had to do – LISTEN – to each other!

I moved to another province with Eve. My now ex-wife got custody of our kids. I saw them every second weekend, the usual 'Dad' set up.

New beginnings

Life was sweet!

Eve and I had an amazing sex life. A connection I believed I never had with my ex. We had a large circle of friends. My family loved her. My kids liked her.

But my ex could never bring herself to meet Eve – she felt betrayed. I hated her even more! She was childish. She was mean. She never cared about me or my happiness. I didn’t care about my ex’s feelings when I posted photos of us on Facebook… I had Eve and a whole new life and it was fantastic!

We were together for about six or seven years but never married – we believed marriage was not our thing.

I believed that after 15 years with my ex, we’d given it all we could and our time together was up, there was nothing we could do to salvage our relationship or marriage. Eve was my future, Eve was who I should have been with all along.

Eventually, no matter how well we got along in the beginning; no matter how well I thought she “got” me; no matter how good the sex was; the “honeymoon” came to an end.

Eve and I started snapping at each other. Little fights here and there. I had a moment of pure realisation one night, at about 2am.

I realised that I missed the woman who created my first home and family. I realised that if I'd treated my ex-wife the way I’d treated Eve, used the hours I spend woo-ing Eve on my ex, she’d have bloomed.

If I’d stopped being negative about her and our relationship to my family and friends they wouldn’t have been so negative to her and she wouldn’t have pulled into herself and shied away.

She became someone I convinced myself I no longer knew or got along with because I never gave her the time and affection and attention she craved and deserved.

I thought I had, but when I got down and really thought about it I never really did. I never really let her in. I had ended my marriage years before with the simple decision that she was no longer who or what I wanted. And I’d convinced my family and friends the same – that she was no good for me!

Regret sets in

But I was wrong. I missed the best years of my kids lives. Missed being a family with them. I let their mother battle with raising them alone. Yes I helped financially, but a man living outside his family has no real idea what the costs are on the single mother. While Eve and I ate steaks on the weekends, my ex-wife was living on egg and toast.

And do you know that she never complained? She never demanded more money out of me. She never stopped me from seeing the kids. Never said no if I changed plans on her at the last minute. She gave up her weekends so that my mother could spend time with her grandchildren. She left me to get on with my life with Eve, even though it must have killed her.

Like any relationship, it had started out good – great in fact – but when it go bad I decided to leave… I walked out and divorced a woman who – and I can only see this now – would have done anything for me. But I’d told myself she wouldn’t or couldn’t.

My ex-wife stayed single for 8 years. She dated but never got involved. Her being single was also a kind of affirmation for me – that no one wanted her – that everything I’d decided she lacked, so did other men… She actually stayed single to focus on our children.

Too late

And then came the day she met Craig. I never thought it would bug me in any way if she got a boyfriend. I thought it would be great! But I was very wrong. I felt hurt. I felt jealous. I even felt angry and maybe betrayed.

She moved in with Craig, along with my kids. She set up a new home. A new family, with my kids… it was a very bitter pill to swallow.

I finally understood how she’d felt all these years. And it felt rotten.

I watched via Facebook and through conversations with our old mutual friends how Craig spoiled her and the kids. Their weekends were spent on the beach – he surfed with my son. They went hiking in the Burg. They went to Mauritius where he proposed on a kayak and she said yes -- they got married.

My daughter was a bridesmaid. My son was a groomsman. Craig’s parents and brother welcomed my ex-wife and children into their family. They told everyone how blessed they were to be gaining them as family.

She glowed with happiness. She radiated love and none of it was for me! My heart felt like it had been ripped out.

It should have been me.

Don’t be me. You think you will never be happy when you are in a rut. It is when you are there at your darkest that you need to grip down and try your hardest.

Today I live alone and still only see my kids occasionally. They are big now and harbour anger towards me for leaving them and their mother. Who can blame them?

Of all the things Eve was, she was never the mother of my children – my original true love."

"HOPE this helps a few marriages, Love and appreciate a Good woman"

24th October 2017 : Me Myself MyLife MyLove

2017-10-24T14:58:00.000+08:00

Finally after a long time of absent from my blog I have pick-up my mind to write again. Facebook is the biggest seduction from blogging my BlogSpot.

Time really flies flew so fast... After announcing my 2nd pregnancy and now my lil boy have been grown up to be a lil Toddler. Yes, he is 6 years old and started to learn to speak and understand many type of situation happen in his growing up journey

My lil girl no longer lil but growing up teenage girl and she is 12 years old. Graduating from Primary 6 this year and entering to secondary school next year. She has not been attaching us so much as she has her own time not a baby girl anymore

This October 2017 has been a very special year to myself and my hubby as 4 occasion happening this month:-

- Renee Primary 6 Graduation (7th October 2017)

- Ryan Kindergarden Year 6 Graduation (14th October 2017)

- Our 2nd home key collection @ Ascenda Residence @ SkyArena (15th October 2017)

- Our 14th Ivory Wedding Anniversary (18th October 2017)

Hubby has been very busy with his job and teaching. I have been very proud of him every year when his students graduating from MII and he is one of the well known lecture. He has been working hard for the family good living too.

Myself, nothing much to say the only biggest thing changes is my career. I am no longer working in Travel Industry as I am more to family and my health. Most important I have achieve what I wanted to achieve in my travel industry life. So decided to walk backward to my Secretarial life. Been working in this company for almost 2 years and hopefully this job will be my last job as I don't have any interest to jump anywhere.

That's all for now for a start but more to come...

The Result...

2012-05-24T12:47:00.000+08:00

Everything was going on normal....

I was too busy with my personal and work stuff in the month of April 2011 and never realize that I was pregnant...

There is no sign on pregnancy and well thats is the reason that I didn't realize it...

I was telling my hubby that I was having almost 2 months delay in my monthly period. Then, I have bought a pregnancy test.

Tested and Yes... I am pregnant with my 2nd baby.

11.11.11 Special days....

2011-11-11T11:59:00.000+08:00

Got to blog on this as I wanted my blog to have this date posted a blog... 11.11.11

Everyone was wishing / creating / planning / preparing something special on this day even in the newspaper does come out the news of couples getting married, 11 years old girl wish come true...

But me, just wanted to wish everyone stay healthy, young, properous, happy & lucky.

Spending my great day with my love ones and most special having my lil ones kicking activity in me during this days....

Happy 11.11.11 :o)

Cheers

My 8th Years Wedding Anniversary

2011-10-18T13:56:00.000+08:00

My 8th Years Wedding Anniversary

Time really passed so fast... Today, we are celebrating our 8th anniversary which is our 'BRONZE' year....

Our early celebration is on last Saturday at Fullhouse @ Wangsa Walk and movie time for both of us...

Happy Anniversary !!!..

Results..Renee Primary Schools

2011-07-22T14:29:00.000+08:00

Start off my blog with my lil girl will be start schooling in Primary School next year. We have been submitting the application since last year and the school which we have choosen is a Convent School. We just hoping that the application to this school is successful as we are using our home address which is at Sentul.

Althought most of my friends and colleague was applying for their child in 'Chinese School' but not mine as I decide to enroll her in Convent Schoo and she is now attending a Private Chinese Tuition class (as long she can read & speak in Chinese) that is good enough for her. I am also in the plan to enroll her into the 'Arithmetric' Classes. Hope with all this activities given to her is sufficient enough time for her to cover time rather than she spending time on TV Programme during the weekdays.

Finally, on the 1st week of July we have finally got the result and the application is success. Myself and hubby feel so relieve as we do not have to appeal again on this application but the only thing is that we have to register my girl by 5th August. By don't want delay anything, coicidence I was on half day leave on the 19th July so decided to take as full day leave to submit all the registration.

Preparing all the document required is not as complicated as you think but once you have all the things prepared and you are ready for registration. After sending my girl to kindy, we went straight to the school and submist the registration form and the documentation required. Didn't expect the registration is so fast and easy and by paying school name tags fee which cost about RM4.00 for 4 name tags (cheap) to be sew to the school uniform. During the registration, was being told by the clerk that for Standard 1 the class will start on the last 2 weeks of December 2011 in morning session, once the actual date of the school open they will go back to afternoon session. Hope my girl can cope with the timing of school as she used to be in morning session since Kindy.

Our next preparation is on the buying her school uniform, shoes, exercise books, school bags, stationery etc... so much thing to prepare. Was wondering if my girl is excited with her primary school life but as a parents we are excited about it....

The Little Journey of Cindy's World

2011-07-20T14:42:00.000+08:00

It's been quite sometime that I have been off hand on my blog... I know that my blog is started to get rusty and boring.

Things been really happening to me on my work, life but with the good news come 3 months ago that makes myself, hubby & my lil girl excited in welcoming my 2nd baby.

I will make a move to start blogging down every single little journey of mine on my 2nd pregnancy and revolving time on preparing my grown up lil girl to enter in primary school life.

More to come soon...

Let's us Pray ...

2011-03-14T21:55:00.001+08:00

On the 11th March 2011, Friday it was the sadness day to me. The breaking news of another major tsunami that strike Soma, Japan that killed more than 10,000 people...

Let us put our hand together for 5 minutes a silent prayer to the affected families in Japan will pull through this crisis together and become stronger.

Let's us Pray...

My New Year 2011

2011-02-25T14:39:00.000+08:00

I have been stop blogging since last year... not M.I.A but is too busy with my life and work. My work have change a lot for me and my life is nothing much but bits & there...

After all these year of my wishing-wishing list and finally in 2010 I have manage fulfill most of them...

The year of Rabbit hopefully is a good year for me to start off....

Cheers....

In pain...

2010-11-21T23:39:00.010+08:00

There has been a lot of thing appearing in my life. I wish for a change, I don't want to keep quiet, I want my own life, I want back my wish to be done, I have sacrifice a lot of myself. All I want is to let you know that for you to understand what I want or wish. My feeling of a cool pail of cold water being pour on me and keeping myself in a cool and dark room. The tears on my eye... can't stop it... why...

Deep in my heart, I'm suffering, knowing that myself have lost the confidence on you.
On the outside, I'm living, pretending in front of you that I trust and care for you
But within 1 second, 1 min, you have made my day to the tired and sick of you..

I do know what have you done for me and I do appreciate it. Thank you so much but things have to move, I can't stand still at one spot forever, I will do something, I will change, I will do a lot of thing to myself which I have lost of not doing it when I know you. You can say I am greedy and materialistic but I know I am not, I just want to own those thing that I wish stop doing it for the past years. So, do myself did anything wrong?

You'll never understand why I hurt so much,

because you're not the one who is crying,

you're not the one who is left behind,

you're not the one who loved too much,

and you're not the one who is lost the wish to come true...
The cruel and hate to you....will never forget and forgive...

Bangkok Trip (Part 1)

2010-10-13T17:08:00.007+08:00

I know that this will be a very late post but yet I still want to post to share my experience during my visit to Bangkok. This is my very first trip to Bangkok and lucky me that this was send by my company for Fam Trip by Starwood Group.

I started off my blog today with my very first trip to Bangkok Trip from 25th - 30th March 2010... Yup...yup... doing the red shirt protest time.... working trip.

Day 1 of my arrival at Suvarnabhumi Airport and surprise where I found out at this point of time there is a lot of people still like to travelling to Bangkok. Upon arrival the whole Fam Group was greeted by Plaza Athenee Hotel Bangkok representative and we board a bus to the hotel for the 1st inspection whis is about 30 minutes journey by passing 2 tolls. Along the highways I can see a lot of high range of cars driving on the road.

Tiring day upon arrival however we feel the warm welcome from all the staff from Plaza Athenee Hotel Bangkok with a special welcome drinkz and is super nice...

Then, we went for a round of hotel inspection of Plaza Athenee Hotel Bangkok of the rooms, facilities, function rooms and the outlets.

Then we proceed with our lunch at a Italian Restaurant which serve italian cuisine with the super yummy delicious main course, dessert etc. The visit of the hotel ended with a lucky draw gift from the Starwood Group where I have got for myself a 2 nights stay at Sheraton Krabi Resort. (p/s going to use this for my holiday trip in October). What a happy lunch for me...

Leaving for the next destination is to check in at the Royal Orchid Sheraton Hotel Tower Bangkok. Upon arrival we have been greeted by all the lovely staff from Royal Orchid Sheraton with a welcome drink (opss... forget to take photo coz too tired) then we have check-in to our room individually.

Finally, I have got a chance to check-in my room and rest... This is the room that I am staying 'Deluxe Riverview' overlooking the view of Chao Phraya River.

Deluxe Riverview overlooking the Chao Phraya River

Zzzzz.... Woke up in the evening proceed for the Starwood Expo where I have meet quiet a few of the hotelier from Thailand, Indonesia, China during their Expo in Kuala Lumpur.

Later on ended my day off earlier as I was not feeling well and slept early...

1st Wish - Done...

2010-10-13T15:28:00.006+08:00

Finally after the hard patient & consideration & calculation... I have own my very first DSLR Camera.

Yes, yes, yes I want to learn to take nice & unique photos. At first I was a bit lost where to start to learn. But finally to start on with getting along with the camera function.

My very first shot outdoor trip is a day trip to Seremban with my hubby & my lil girl. Not much of photos taken but have share out in my Facebook.

Looking forward for my trip to snap more... Stay tune...will try to post out soon....

Iphone or Ipod Touch

2010-10-13T15:10:00.000+08:00

With the advance technology in IT... Everyone was chasing for the most advance technology in the market...IPhone4

Been wishing to own an IPOD Touch since some ages ago but yet something that I think have stopped me from that. Well, it doesn't even stop me from thinking to own an IPOD Touch....

Lately, there is a few of my closed colleague own the IPhone4. As I realize that IPhone4 is the toppest model in Malaysia now. Everywhere you go people will talk about IPhone 4. Where you go it? How long you will wait? What are the package that you have sign up? How long is the package? But seldom heard people will compare the difference between between IPhone4 vs IPod Touch except they have make calls.

Now it even lure me whether to own a IPhone4 iso IPod Touch. Should I or Not?

What happened When a boy doesn't love the girl who loves him so much?

2010-08-06T11:45:00.020+08:00

What happened when a boy doesn't love the girl who loves him so much?

I don't know why I blog this but have you been wondering for the answer what will happen when a boy doesn't love a girl who loves him so much.

Ting ting... first of all for the girl out there... WAKE UP.... if a the boy/man don't love you... don't waste your time on him...

How can you realize that you are one of the girl who love the guy more than he love you?

Scenario 1: There are time that you have noticed him when you are standing and talking with a friend and you will always think that he noticed you... actually is not as this is just your imagination of yourself. The fact is you he looked at you at about the same time you saw him and your eyes met just for a few seconds only and then you looked away. Then, when you looked back up, he is talking with someone. In you mind, you must be thiking, is he watching you as you mingled? or just the destiny that both your eyes met for that few second.

Scenario 2: Love is blind. Always never think of any other things of yourself only him. When a guy treat you good then you will tend to think he have the feeling for you. Actually not... it could be either he want to have sex (one night stand) or just play around with you when he feel bored or alone. He don't called you that often, always tell you he want to concentrate on his career or studies, unwilling to disclose to friend & families on your relationship with him, always find some topic to chat with him unfortunately he is actually not interested...

scenario 3: Try to get his attention by doing something or talking to someone who is standing / sitting near to him. Always be the 1st one to sitting near him. More caring to him by voluntery yourself to do anything for him without him requesting for anyone to do.

Scenario 4: always pretend to be busy with your own stuffs or acting as natural as you can but eventually you keep your earings listening to what he is talking to someone else. When the timing and topic is right, you can add in your own comments with him

Scenario 5 : Always like to fight with him coz you will always have the feeling of understanding his needs more.

Scenario 6: Pretend to be friend with his girlfriend/wife so that you can know better his personal life style at home which you don't have a chance right by his side all the time.

Scenario 7: Always show off you capability in your work so that you will catch him attention on you by setting you a good example to others.

How can you tell if a guy likes you or is interested?

1. He likes you if he tells a mutual friend that he wants to know more about you, or he asks other people who you are and where you're from. He is trying to act like he's "just asking" but his questions indicate more than a casual interest. And when he tells someone that he finds you attractive, he probably knows that it will get back to you. He's hoping it does.

2. The look he gives you a look that betrays his calm exterior. Even though he is across the room, "that look" he has says it all. It is sweeping, from your head to your toes, and then his eyes linger on yours. You think you notice the beginning of a tentative smile.

3. The conversation.. Does he like you? When he manages to get close enough to you, to ask you questions, he is interested. He appears to be listening and responds to what you say. He's moving in to the ultimate question, which is: "Are you seeing anyone." He would only ask this question if he wanted to date you, and he hopes the answer is "No." Never ever wear a ring in public. When a guy is across the room, he cannot tell which finger it is on and he may assume incorrectly that you are taken. If he doesn't ask you the question of whether or not you are attached, he may ask someone whom you both know.

4. He appears unexpectedly... He likes you a lot if he shows up out of nowhere. He can only do that if he has been asking people about your schedule, or he has been paying attention to where you are going and at what time. His face may turn red when he sees you. A sudden, "Oh, hi," is his way of saying, "I don't want to seem obvious, but I am interested in you." If you feel the same way, do not act shy. Stop and talk to him.

5. EVERYONE likes you... Is he interested? When you are well liked and a happy person, why wouldn't he like you? Of course he does. If you don't have a great life, however, now is your time to start working on one. Take a look at your career possibilities, body image, future, plans, and resources. You may be naturally talented at something, but it won't matter unless you work on your strengths. Misused or unused talents fade away. School and training do not.These are the five signs that he is interested and he is on the verge of asking you out. Make it easy for him and be friendly.

So for those girls who have not wake up... It is silly to wait for a guy to love you back when your love to him more. Please always don't think that 'I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me'...

What is the feeling of falling in love??? Heartbreak???

2010-06-22T13:54:00.009+08:00

Have you ever wonder and think back what is the feeling of falling in love...

Well, this must start with... Once upon a time....

While I was driving to work this morning, as usual I will listen to 'Mixfm Breakfast Show'. However, the topic for today is kinda interesting. What is the feeling of falling in Love? Heartbreak?

Having the feeling of 'in love' is the greatest things. You wouldn't know how to describe it but is the happiest moment in your life. Sometimes, I would think is how good if this kind of feelings will be remain forever till the death... silly of me. From my thinking is that the longer you are married... the 'in love' feeling is getting lesser or slowly faded away and I was wondering why? Is it too much time together or too less privacy time together.

Whenever I see those couple together and sometimes I would recall back my feelings that where once upon a time I was once like them as the feeling of seeing him is so much and can't really wait for the weekend to spend more time with him. Then follow by the lovely message and missing kinda feeling... well hard to describe but happiness...

Heartbreak is the most painful thing in everyone of us this is especially if you love him more than he loves you. Having scarifice the love of him and out of sudden break-off which the most painful thing in our heart.

Well, god is very fair to everyone of us... Some of us will encounter the happiness and painfulness. Myself always hope that to remain the happiness feeling in my life forever...

Life after 30's....

2010-06-09T13:34:00.007+08:00

What have change you in your life after the age of 30's years old?

Sometimes I would feel bored with everything, how shall I imaging it that hard for me to explain here.

#1 No more mood to go Party partyzzz

#2 Less movie outing

#3 Less spending for myself... more spending for kids & family

#4 Gain weight more... less exercise

#5 Less sleeping time... sometimes can't sleep at night,,, wondering why

#6 Too much thing to think....

#7 Less holiday tripzz...

#8 maybe sometimes lazy to work

#9 what else... anyone can share

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-08T23:44:00.025+08:00

This is my 5th year celebrating as a mother in mother's day... Lovely girl that I have with her cheeky smile that substitute with all the yelling, scolding, angry towards her sometimes naughtiness and stubborn. But we do have hidden fun when we are together.

Seeing her growing up that makes me even sometimes telling myself... I am trying to get all the preciouse time with her more as one thing that I know she is sharing the same series with me 'Friends' and both of us like music too...

Can't wait for the time when she ask 'Mom, let's go for shopping' hahaha.. Both of us wearing denims with t-shirt walking with our lovely handbangs and sandals and off to shopping & movies...

Happy Mothers Day to all Lovely, Sweety & Caring Mummies in the rest of the World.

Lastly, to my beloved mom... Happy Mothers Day.

Thanks for all the caring towards us and my lil girl.

No Arms... No Legs... No Worries

2010-04-23T09:33:00.006+08:00

This is the most touching and meaningful video which I would like to share.

No Arms No Legs No Worries - Click here for the funniest movie of the week

Why we always worried so much...

Sunset...

2010-04-21T23:14:00.002+08:00

Do u see any image on this picture...

Happy New Year 2010

2009-12-30T18:01:00.004+08:00

It's been one year of me having this blog...

I know I have been lacking by putting a note here but yet for this is a must for me to do wishes to everyone who is reading my blogz now.

Happy New Year 2010 blogger….readers... surferzz... everyonezzz and my lovely family...

Is almost the end of the year of 2009. Of course there is a lot of thing happening surrouding us. Tough year of 2009 is gone but 2010 is here... There is only one thing that you can do on your year end is restart all over again : new rules, new goals and new you...

Againz my resolution is have to be the same stay young... stay healthy.... stay happy... mmmm stay rich... reaching the higher goal of my life...

From the bottom of my heart, I am wishing to you and your family... Stay Healthy and All the best in 2010.

Happy New Year 2010...

6th Wedding Anniversary Celebration...

2009-11-20T14:28:00.007+08:00

My late posting of my 6th Wedding Anniversary Celebration.

This year will be a very special year for both of us as we are celebrating it with my lil girl at 'Daorae' in Sri Hartamas... Something special...

Holidayzzzz....

2009-11-17T12:52:00.003+08:00

Finally, finally... my holidays comes true... hehehe...

After so long I have not been for long distance holiday (outside Malaysia) this is my very first trip to Thailand after so long... Let me see, I only been to Singapore and Australia only. I think I will going to start to plan for any trip... but this time round to Hatyai first... then for others places....

Hopefully by next year I will be able to go according to my plan even for a short trip i wouldn't mind. But now must save $$$$ ...

My 6th Year Wedding Anniversay

2009-10-18T18:29:00.010+08:00

Today marked the 6th Iron Years of my wedding anniversary... but yet I always think my marriage life is still a long-long way to go... hahaha...

Must be wondering what is 6th Iron Year....

Here I am going to share out the meaning of year of your wedding anniversary celebration where I have gone thru...

1st anniversary - Paper

The first wedding anniversary is traditionally celebrated by just the couple. No matter what your circumstances are, there is no reason to overlook this day. There are many ways you could celebrate, whether you will be staying home, having a bit of a getaway or having a picnic by the lake.

2nd anniversary: Cotton
Keep it simple on your second wedding anniversary: spend it tucked up in crisp, fresh cotton sheets. Or splash out on a second honeymoon.

3rd: anniversary: Leather

For your third, what about a leather-bound photo album or wallet with something to spend inside? Plus Jimmy Choo makes leather shoes…

4th anniversary: Linen

How about some lovely new bedlinen or cushions for your bed?

5th anniversary: Wood

In Wales, elaborately carved wooden 'lovespoons' have been given for centuries. The term 'spooning' - meaning 'romancing' - originates from this Welsh tradition. An alternative gift to each other could be a romantic vsit to a log cabin!

6th anniversary: Iron

In his famous diary, Samuel Pepys (1633-1703) writes of going home 'to be merry, it being my sixth wedding night'. PS a tip for your sixth: a steam iron is NOT a romantic gesture!

Till then my this year wedding anniversary is the 6th year but I am celebrating it happily with my hubby & my cute lil girl... looking forward for my 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th... and more years to come... :P

OMG... I have forget something important

2009-10-17T14:18:00.001+08:00

I have forgetting the most important person birthday... so bad of me... for no reason i have forgotten... OMY... I am so sorry....