Be Inspired

Catch and Release

2014-06-09T08:30:00.000-05:00

You have to be willing to throw a few small fish back in order to catch the big fish!

Every man you meet is not The One. As the saying goes, “You have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince.” You are committing to the frogs and not allowing yourself the time to find your prince.

For a lot of women the fear of loneliness is the number 1 driving force behind such behavior. You have to realize that you are not alone when you have (and love) yourself. If you are desperate for companionship you may be blinded by that, and incapable of making a decision that truly encompasses your core needs and values. You may overlook the fact that he doesn't have a job, a car, nor has provided financial support for the family he previously established with another woman. But he fills that void you have for companionship. Be so full in yourself that the only reason for companionship is that you have found someone worthy enough for you to share the overflowing amount of love contained within you.

You have to be honest and ask yourself;

Do I commit to every man I meet?
Have I been able to end relationships on my terms?
Am I happy being alone?
Do I know my core values, beliefs, and boundaries?
Why am I looking for a partner?

Be honest as you answer these questions and allow the answers to be those that lie within your soul and spirit. The worst thing you can do is be dishonest with yourself. Answers like. "it's the right thing to do; I'm getting old; I'm tired of waiting." Just aren't good enough and all are influenced by external sources. Who told you its the right thing? Who told you you're getting too old to find love? Who told you that you've waited too long for what's right for you? Look beyond the surface of what the initial emotions and response is. There are often much deeper things within you that have to be addressed before you can even begin to find a partner. Don't be afraid to find what you truly desire. That desire has been placed by the Creator and it will be fulfilled by the Creator.

Influence

2014-06-02T10:31:00.000-05:00

"Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'" - 1 Corinthians 15:33

We always warn our children about their peer group and the influence they have on them. As adults we tend to forget the influence people have on us because of the longevity of the relationships. Often times these are the people whom we played with as children. The thing is as we grow up and experience life we are no longer bound by the location and environments that were chosen for us by our caretakers. Yet, we continue to maintain relationships that hinder us, simply because of loyalty, familiarity, and guilt. There is a harsh reality to be faced about those coincidental relationships. They are COINCIDENTAL.

How to tell if someone is a negative influence:

Do you feel energized or full of positivity after being with this person? If you find yourself mentally drained or having a sudden negative mood change after your interaction with them you should consider what type of energy/personality this person projects.

Are you your best self when you're with this person? If you have to pretend to be someone you are not in order to hang out with this person you should review the reason why.

Do they support your goals, dreams, and ambitions? If a peer belittles, downgrades, or blows off your goals you must ask yourself why are you subjecting yourself to someone who doesn't support you.
Are they immoral? This is an obvious one, but few people are willing to acknowledge that their friends and family are behaving immorally.

Are they inconsiderate? Relationships require action and committal from both parties. And a peer that doesn't respect your perspective, needs, etc. may not be worth your time.

Please be advised, I'm not advising you to sever ties with people whom you suspect may not be contributing positively to your life, however I am advising you to guard your time investment with such people.

Broken Heart

2014-05-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

Hope

2014-03-24T08:57:00.000-05:00

Hope. (n) a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

What is hope?
For me hope is believing that things will be different, it is believing that all my dreams and wished will come to be. Hope is the belief that you will find peace in this crazy world.

Why hope?
Hope is what drives ordinary people to do extraordinary things. Without hope how do we endure some of life's most difficult moment? Imagine how disheartening it would be in troubling situation without any insight or prediction of success? That is why we NEED hope. Hope gives us the strength to give it another shot. People whom have lost hope tend to be depressed and fearful because their vision is limited to the here and now vs. a better future or outcome.

How to be more hopeful

Set a goal. I know it seems impossible to pursue a goal when it feels like the whole world is crashing around you. But in having a goal that it allows you to focus on the crisis and determine an action plan to overcome whatever it may be. Having a goal doesn't take the crisis away but it puts it into a perspective that can be easier to manage.

Seek Support. You'd be surprised how many people have dealt with an experience similar to yours. Not only are other people dealing with the same burdens many are thriving. By staying connected and developing a strong supportive network you will have the experiences and successes of others to draw inspiration and hope from.

Keep your self esteem in tact. It's easy when going through a stressful event to lose sight of our abilities and skills. Always remind yourself of your strengths and positive attributes. This helps build your confidence which you will need to overcome and endure.

Be adaptable. People who can't adapt quickly will struggle when confronted with adversity. By being adaptable you are able to quickly respond to a crisis and not be paralyzed by fear.

Finding Peace

2014-03-17T08:41:00.001-05:00

A Path to Inner Peace

The path to inner peace is a lifelong journey. For most of us it's a destination we will never arrive to. Don't be discouraged by the fact you may never arrive; be encouraged by the fact that the journey will leave you better off than if you never decided to begin.

You don't have to wait until all the stars are perfectly aligned to begin your journey to inner peace. Start your journey with what you have, who you are, and where you are RIGHT NOW.

Preparation

Achieving inner peace starts with preparation. In preparing for your first step you have to be ready and willing to:

Confront the truth about yourself in all shapes and forms.
Allow and accept pain.
Fully accept your position and circumstances.
Allow time for meditation and reflection.
Smile regardless of your current situation.
Be consistently hopeful and optimistic.

Honesty. The worst lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves. You know, "I'm fine" when you're actually drowning inside. This is not being strong, this completely denying the truth about our emotions. It is time to start being honest with ourselves. Allow yourself the opportunity to remove all the falsehoods, misrepresentations, and deceit you may have allowed yourself to believe about yourself. It is time for you to remove the mask and become who you truly are. If you don't believe you're dishonest with yourself see if the statements below apply:

You say yes to things you don't want to see, be, or do.
You continually over commit yourself.
You suppress your feelings about situations, people, and things.

Pain. Too often we allow the fear of emotional or physical pain obstruct our decision making abilities. Often decisions that would remove us from the original source of the pain. A mother will allow her adult child or drug addictive teen to repetitively abuse her emotionally because she doesn't want to experience the pain of having to watch her child struggle, and or fail. Yet, she is willing to endure the endless pain that her child's self destructive behavior creates. By allowing the pain she is at least giving herself and her child the opportunity to end the repetitive cycle of negative experiences and behavior. Yes, making difficult and painful decisions are hard, but they provide an alternative path to hope.

Acceptance. A lack of acceptance is a major obstacle to finding peace. We don't accept ourselves or our current circumstances. We will do any and everything to avoid where we currently are, what we're currently experiencing, or how we are currently feeling. Do yourself a favor and learn to allow yourself the opportunity to experience this, accept it, and learn the lesson being taught. If you constantly are trying to circumvent it you are destined to repeat it.

Meditate. Meditation affords you the luxury of instant Peace. It does take time to master meditation, but, every minute spent in a calm state is one less minute NOT in a state of worry, anxiety, stress, pain, or other destructive mindsets.

Smile. Smiling and laughter are the cure for almost any ailment. I know that in the midst of a difficult situation the last thing you want to do is smile; but if you allow yourself to experience a positive mindset through those difficulties you can see the brighter side of things.

Hope. When we lose hope we open ourselves up to negativity and depression. If you can't be hopeful about a situation perhaps it's time to remove yourself from it. I am not encouraging delusional hope, but an honest approach to being hopeful.

Each person's path to inner piece is different but by being honest with yourself; allowing yourself to experience pain but not be consumed by it; accepting your circumstances while improving; smiling and remaining hopeful; will help you begin to find inner peace.

A Goal Without A Plan is Just a Wish!

2014-02-24T09:02:00.003-06:00

Goal Setting

Setting a goal provides you with the incentive and motivation you will need to stay the course for the task at hand. When I first started my entrepreneurial adventure my goals were S. M. A. R. T. By following the

S. M. A. R. T. goal setting idealology from the start my odds of success were increased.

S. M. A. R. T. goals are:

S. Specific
M. Measurable
A. Attainable
R. Relevant
T. Time-Bound

One of the first goals for my business for to generate $3,750 per month by 8/17/10.

It was:
Specific - Earn $3,750
Measurable - $3,750 by 8/7/10 (6 months after I launched my PTC business)
Attainable - I had a strategy and plan which I developed to achieve this goal.
Relevant - Of course my goal was relevant & critical to my own personal life plan.
Time-Bound - I had a deadline that was set based upon the strategy I was implementing.

Sometimes it can be quite difficult prioritizing your goals. Often, we will have so many needs, wants, and desires it's overwhelming. I realized I needed help so I turned to someone I trusted for assistance. I turned to Zig Ziglar for inspiration. Zig Ziglar has an excellent audio book called "Goals: Setting and Achieving Them on Schedule" Zig Ziglar recommends that you spend at least 10 hours planning your goal, which is why on only 3% of the population has clearly defined objectives for their lives. Zig's 5-step process will equip you with even more tools to become successful.

Zig Ziglar's goal setting process:

#1 Create your dream list. Let your imagination run wild and write down everything you want, desire, and wish for. EVERYTHING!
Wait 24-48 hours! Once the time is up consider "Why?" for each item on your dream list. (If you can't HONESTLY express in a single sentence why cross this item off your list.
With the remaining items on the list ask yourself these 5 questions. If you can't answer yes to these questions cross the item off your list. It's more of a dream than a goal.
- Is this really "my" goal?
- Is this morally right and fair for everyone concerned?
- Is it consistent with my other goals?
- Can I emotionally commit to completing this goal?
- Can I truly see myself achieving my goal?
With the remaining items on your list ask yourself these questions & if you can't answer yes to at least on of these questions cross it off the list.
- Will this goal make me happier?
- Will this goal win me more friends?
- Will this goal give me peace of mind?
- Will this goal make me more secure?
- Will this goal improve my relationship with others?
Divide the remaining goals into 3 categories;
- Short - less than 1 month
- Medium - 1 month - 1 year
- Long - greater than 1 year

There should be a mix of big goals to help you grow to reach your full potential; long range to keep you focused; and small to keep you on task daily.

Hard work does lead to failure, ooops, I mean success.

2014-02-10T06:30:00.000-06:00

The truth behind succeeding.

You would be surprised by how many people are unaware of the amount of failure experienced when we set out to achieve a goal. Succeeding is not all of the glitz and glam portrayed on television. When we view another person's success we only see the result. We don't get to see the sleepless nights, the worry, or the failures. All we see is the result of their endurance.

Almost every successful individual I've encountered have shared with me how difficult and trying their journey has been. They speak of how much they've had to overcome in order to reach their goals. I've come to realize that the sooner we embrace and understand this principle the easier it will be for us to overcome the roadblocks and obstacles we face in our own journey. When we're able to associate these difficulties as being normal and part of the journey, we can begin to see success and achievement all lie on the other side of our failures.

"You always pass failure on the way to success." Mickey Rooney

Could you imagine what would've happened if Michael Jordan had given up on his hoop dreams when he was cut from his high school basketball team? People who succeed in life all possess these key traits;

Endurance. Successful people are ready to weather the storm. They know that the road may be difficult and challenging but the reward outweighs any challenges ahead.
Acceptance. Successful people accept their failures and learn from them. They don't allow themselves to be defeated by temporary setbacks.
Positivity. Having a positive attitude is an imperative trait to possess when pursuing a goal. You have to believe that you can achieve your goal.
Adaptable. Our world is changing at a rapid pace. In order to succeed you have to be able to adapt to these changes and change course quickly.
Reflection. In order to evolve and develop the skills needed to advance to your next level self reflection is key. How can you address that which truly stands to halt you in your tracks if you don't acknowledge it?
Curiosity. To succeed you have to be willing to constantly expand your current knowledge capacity. Don't let your own education be something you were told you had to learn!

“If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be.” - Dale Carnegie

Dare to Dream

2014-02-03T07:00:00.000-06:00

I decided this year to face my fears! My fears were standing in the way of achieving my goals and living a better life. My biggest fear was my DREAMS. I was afraid of how large they were and how difficult achieving them would be. I realized that far too long I was sitting back and living my life according to what it should be instead of what I wanted it be. This was the result of my expectation that everyone would understand my goals and support me. It was difficult for me to understand that everyone was viewing the world through their own eyes. What was good for me may or may not have been what was good for another. Once I realized and accepted this I begin to embrace my own dreams, goals, and ambitions. I dared myself to dream. I dared to believe the impossible was possible. So the journey began.

Stay the course. The pursuit of ones dream is a road that is unique to every traveler. Consistency and perseverance are critical characteristics necessary as we pursue or goals and dreams. Motivation and endurance are key traits that many of us fail to realize dwells within in us. We question and doubt our abilities to stay the course and often lose focus on our journey. Thankfully, each day we are given an opportunity to try again; we're given the opportunity to achieve what was unachievable previously. In pursuit of our dreams we must embrace every encounter, difficulty, and achievement are thrust upon us in order to gain the wisdom necessary for the next leg of our journey.

"Don't let your excuses be bigger than your dreams."

Be Courageous. The difficulty in personal success is finding the courage to confront our fears. Everything we desire lies on the other side of that which we fear. You can't land your dream job being afraid to take the first step; whether it's soliciting a new employer, enrolling in school, or launching your new business venture. Be confident and step outside of your comfort zone, this is where your success and achievements dwell. Learn to take those fearful first steps in stride and accept that sometimes you will succeed and sometimes you will learn a valuable lesson.

Keep going. For some getting started is pretty easy, for most staying the course is obstacle. Learn to keep going, don't give up. Find the confidence within yourself to know that through persistence your efforts will eventually become the success you dream of. Rest, if you must but don't quit.

Be of service to others. Your journey and experience can be the motivation and encouragement that others need. Remember that when you started, you sought the expertise of those whom have succeeded before you. We are all integral elements in the circle of life, when we help others we are in turn helping ourselves. Even if you have just started pursuing your dreams there is someone who has not yet started; open your heart, lean on your faith and extend your hand to help another. Learn to see the light in others, even when they can't see it in themselves; treat them as if that is all you see. Our jobs are not to judge; our jobs are not to determine who deserves something. Our jobs is to encourage, motivate, heal, and restore. Don't add to the broken people in the world, help with the healing.

The road that leads to our goals and dreams will take us places, give us new experiences, and reveal strengths we didn't know we possessed. I encourage you to dare to dream, dare to dream that the impossible is possible.

Silence you inner 5 year old!

2013-11-25T07:30:00.000-06:00

I want, I want, I want! Sounds like something you'd here a 5 year old screaming throughout a toy store. Well, those 5 year olds are now 25+ still screaming, "I want, I want, I want!" Now instead of Tonka trucks, baby dolls, and video games, they're screaming for cars, computers, and houses.

There's nothing wrong with wanting, for it ignites drive, determination, and motivation. The issue lies in the inability to patiently wait for what you want. Children are impulsive, so when they want something they want it NOW! As we grow and mature that impulsiveness is controlled, to an extent. Sometime in adults that impulsiveness manifests itself in the overly extended, ever growing, limit exceeding consumer debt. Today so many people are stressed, stuck, and unhappy due to the debts they've incurred buying "stuff", stuff they could've purchased in time without the incurred debt. How many of your coworkers, peers, friends, and family members are stuck in jobs they don't want because of debt?

Tips to Avoid the Debt Trap

Avoid emotionally driven impulse spending.
Appreciate what you have today.
Understand that it's the job of marketers and advertisers to leave you feeling inadequate without their product, trust me you don't need it!
Begin using a cash based budget.
Don't accrue anymore debt.
Don't fall in the trap of spending money in order to save money!
Seek fulfillment and wholeness outside of material possessions. 1 pair, yet another 20 pair will be enough to make you feel whole inside.
Determine a want vs. need.
Set goals for your finances.

About Facing Fear

2013-11-22T13:36:00.001-06:00

The path to greatness starts here!

2013-11-18T10:17:00.000-06:00

"You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great." Zig Ziglar

"All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas......." Shel Silverstein

2013-11-18T07:28:00.000-06:00

I was an only child for 8 years, so I spent a great deal of time immersed in books. My favorite was Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein. His stories were so silly to me.

Reading was so important to me. I had a very busy brain and books allowed an escape from the noise while improving my intellect (No, I didn't know that then). I was a normal kid, quite social, athletic, fun loving but I was a bit "wired". I was hyperactive, I had a ton of mental energy! At the end of my day when I still required stimulation I would often cuddle up with a book and read. I fell in love with the knowledge, the humor, the sadness, the hope, there was so much to love. Books opened my imagination, and freed it to go anywhere. Not just anywhere within the bounds of my imagination, but I could visit the imaginations of others through their words and the worlds they would create.

Recently while listening to a Podcast and the speaker quoted Shel Silverstein. “All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas....... starts a Poem by Shel Silverstein.

"All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas" by Shel Silverstein

All the Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
Layin' in the sun,
Talkin' 'bout the things
They woulda coulda shoulda done...
But those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
All ran away and hid
From one little Did.

As a child it was just a silly little rhyme. As an adult I realise the importance of the message he was trying to instill in such impressionable minds. Often people fall into a mindset where they dwell on what they didn't do or what they should've done. NEVER has intent produced results, so to dwell upon something that has no impact is a waste of effort. We all know people whose entire lives revolve around what they should've done in life. Or a decision they could've made differently. Truth is, by focusing on what didn't occur they are able to avoid the reality of what things are. You can become stuck thinking this way. No longer are you making decisions and living in today, you're focusing your energy on yesterday and the day before.

Break the Shoulda-Woulda-Coulda Thought Cycle

Focus on who/what you are NOW.
Positive affirmations
Be Thankful
Do 1 small thing to begin creating the life you want.
Rid yourself of envy.
Except things for what they were/are.
Look within

Change

2013-11-12T10:13:00.000-06:00

Did you know there is an actual psychological diagnosis for those that fear change? Metathesiophobia is the medical jargon for it. Why do people fear change? For some of us we'd rather stay in a miserable familiar situation than venture out into unfamiliar territory and potentially find something better.

Change by definition is simple; the modification of a situation, environment, mental/physical condition that alters the current path. Yet, so many struggle with change. Often the fear of change lies in our lack of confidence in our decision making abilities. Decision making is often based upon our inner sense of knowing what to do. This "knowing" is formed by our scope of previous experiences and know how. The thing about change is that it takes us into an unfamiliar territory. For many this is when fear sets in. Because we can't predict the outcome our mind begins to play out all sorts of scenarios (often unfounded). It is these self limiting beliefs of fear that keep us stagnant. Originally fear was an emotion to keep us safe from real dangers, like charging animals. We no longer have those dangers but the emotion of fear has remained but we use it in a manner often inapplicable to the situations involved.

Why do we fear change?

We seek friends, social situations, and experiences that reinforce our current beliefs.
We don't like the illusion of failure.
We dislike criticism.
We don't want to be wrong or make the wrong choice.

Fall is a visual representation of change.

FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real)
We don't understand our core beliefs and how their affect.
We tend to operate from a place of imagined outcome vs. true intent.

"Fall is an incredible time of year. It is a vibrant depiction of change. You see powerful trees once full of flora and awe becoming dormant and entering a state of dormancy. Come spring those dormant plants come alive with vibrancy and strength they haven't shown before."

You have this sense of unrest, displeasure or perhaps you just know something just isn't quite right. Maybe you're unhappy with your social life, work life, relationships, physical appearance, whatever it may be you realize that change is needed. So how do you go about getting past the fear and making a change?

Planning/Anticipation is the point in the change process where you realize change is needed. This is often the point where many get hung up and paralyzed. Often our emotional barriers suspend our decision making abilities and blocks out our ability to focus. This is where you waiver and are indecisive. You know what is needed but you may not be fully committed to changing. Take time to weigh whether or not staying the same is worse than changing. Debate the pros and cons of change within your mind or write them down. CALM DOWN! Excitability and fear all hinder change. Once you've accepted that change is necessary begin to enact a plan to achieve the desired change.

The chameleon is the master of change

Action, at this stage of the change process you've decided to implement change. You will begin to experience the results of your "change plan". If you're planning to change your weight you will begin to exercise and change your eating habits. If you're planning to start a new business venture this is when you begin working on your business plan and networking. The action phase typically is the longest stage in change often you will cycle between action and planning. This is where you will gain the most experience and knowledge about achieving your planned change.

Things to remember:

Accept the emotions (fear, anger, happiness, etc.) that come with change. Failure to do so prolongs forward movement.
Pride and the fear of failure are BIG hindrances to change.
Change is what helps us grow, without it we're stagnate.
To change your life your priorities MUST change.
People close to you will be afraid when you begin to change. They have to learn and adjust their perceptions of the new You.

I'd love to hear about your goals and plans for change.

Salute to those whom have served!

2013-11-11T09:36:00.002-06:00

Failing Forward

2013-11-08T09:32:00.002-06:00

It is in reflection that we find an opportunity for personal growth and development. Mistakes are simply the result of action, they are not condemning. Mistakes are an opportunity to find a better solution.

Quote Meme

2013-11-07T09:44:00.003-06:00

I have to admit, I love quote meme's. I found this one so motivating yet simple. It's true, each of us only have so many tomorrow's.

"You care too much!"

2013-11-04T07:00:00.001-06:00

"You care too much!" "You're too emotional!" These are things I've heard too many times.

If someone around me was having a bad day I felt an impulse to try to improve their mood. If I couldn't improve their mood, than I would take on their emotions, which was WAY too much for "Little Miss Sunshine". Unfortunately, most people are so caught up in the rat race they turn into miserable, unfulfilled, selfish, all-consuming zombies. These were the emotions I found myself surrounded by and unable to detach from.

So I tried to turn my empathy off hoping that this would help. That was a mistake. Trying to bottle up so much emotion was detrimental for my physical and mental health. As I tried to numb myself I began to experience; migraines, flu-like symptoms, fatigue, and depression. I quickly determined that my attempt to suppress my empathy and the related emotions was contributing to the physical symptoms I was experiencing. As I was stuffing all those emotions inside me they were seeping out in negative ways. I needed to learn how to manage my empathy in a way that was not self destructive. (As an empathetic person your needs are often set aside while you care for others.) I also realized that I was attempting to suppress the one thing that made me different from the majority and more like the Creator.

As I re embraced my empathetic "condition" I had to find a way to use my empathy as a gift instead of the curse I was allowing it to become. I began to understand that the reason I was so sensitive to others emotions is because it was in the nature of my spirit to help others. But, in order for me to help others my emotional state had to be stable. So, I began to research sensitive and empathetic personalities. I learned some great tips on how to protect such a sensitive soul.

Practices for the Empathetic Soul

Don't Take on the Responsibilities of Others. It's easy to want to help and see those around us happy, but don't stand in the way of another persons opportunity to grow and experience life. If someone should be doing something allow them to do so.

Set Boundaries. It's easy for a sensitive, emotional, or empathetic personality to have a hard time setting boundaries. As peacekeepers we like to see everyone happy, so we often allow things we don't like to happen, happen. It's okay to say NO. No, is a form a self respect and allows us to function and have our needs met while meeting the needs of others.

Spend Time Alone. Alone time is critical. Being alone is the time to unload and process the emotions we're feeling. It's a time to reflect on things. Meditation and reading are great activities to do during your alone time.

Get Physical. Physical activity can be a cleansing for the empathetic personality. Physical activity allows us to be "in the moment" vs. being constantly absorbed in our minds and surroundings. Also the stress of feeling everything around us is physically demanding and activity is a great way to release this tension and energy.

Ground Yourself. This is critical. We must find a way to keep ourselves grounded and aligned with our spiritual nature. Often time the Ego can sneak up and become a dominate trait where we lose all sense of the life forces around us.

Know Your Emotional Limits. You have to learn and understand your emotions. Don't try to suppress them. Feel them and let them go. You don't have to react to every feeling you have. They are just that, feelings.

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Victim Mindset

2013-01-15T09:00:00.000-06:00

"Stop treating yourself as a victim of your past. Just be a confident survivor and you be able to handle anything.

Self-evaluation and self-criticism is difficult especially when you have issues with low self-esteem or self-confidence. It’s easier for people to place blame on things outside of self. When you blame all your problems or successes on outside influences you give up all power and opportunity to improve or change a situation. This approach creates an invisible shield that is used to deflect bad feelings or experiences. This “shield” robs you and can render your “sword” (hope) useless. Pick up your sword and use it to slay the problems in your life.

A victim mentality creates the illusion that part of your life is controlled by others, leaving you feeling powerless over situations.

Steps to regain control and power of your life and to stop being a victim:

1. Describe or focus on an event in your past good/bad.

2. Acknowledge how your decision/action affected this event.

3. If you were satisfied with the outcome reflect on this and take ownership of it. If you weren’t satisfied with the outcome take time to reflect on what actions (by you) resulted in an unfavorable outcome and what could be done differently in the future.

4. Learn from it. Whatever the outcome make sure you walk away with knowledge!

Not sure if you have a victim mindset? Here are a few questions to ask yourself;

1. Are a lot of your obstacles related to other people’s actions?

2. Are you unable to see the commonality in of yourself in your life?

3. Do you find it difficult to recover from unfavorable outcomes?

4. Are you holding on to anger/resentment against someone whom you believe has done some wrong to you?

5. Do outside influences/events constantly alter your direction?

So what to do about a victim mindset? Like most things, change the way you think! Stop seeing yourself as someone who is powerless. Remember nothing in life is happening to you, it’s happening because of you!

I strongly suggest reading Joyce Meyers, Battlefield of the Mind. This is a great book that deals with self-talk and spiritual healing.

Bring on 2013!!!!!

2013-01-08T16:06:00.000-06:00

My goals for 2013 are simple!

- Mediate daily

Ideally I’d like to spend at least 15 minutes each morning for reflection, preparation, and meditation. Starting my day at peace will allow me to be in peace the entire day.

- Learn a new craft

When it comes to artisanship I really don’t have any skills. I have basic knowledge on various “crafts” but no real skills. Some of the things I’m considering is creating organic bath & body products, learning to crochet, learn to sew, and I’d like to learn to sculpt with clay.

- Eat more natural, unprocessed foods

I refuse to say I’m going on a diet. For me going on a diet translates to eating flavorless crap! Instead I’ve chosen to dupe myself into eating better. My plan is to limit eating anything that isn’t made from scratch! No more polycarbonates, unsaturated, saturates, unless the fruit, vegetable, meat or grain contains those things naturally!

- Exercise 3X’s week

Again, I have to dupe myself! Trying to lose weight is taboo for me! When I don’t see myself shedding the pounds as I’d like I get very frustrated and end up jumping off the wagon. This year my plan is to just exercise at least 3 times a week. If I lose some pounds great, if I don’t at least I’m doing my body some good!

- Plant a vegetable garden

I’ve always viewed gardening as WORK! And after working 40+ hours per week the last thing I want to do is back breaking physical labor! It’s truly amazing how becoming FED UP with something will change your perspective. Next to the mortgage the largest expense for my family is F-O-O-D! And if you saw my bank statement you’d know that buffets & fast food chains were sucking up a lot of my money. Not to mention what I’m teaching my 4 impressionable children! I became fed up when I saw the amount of stress our spending was putting on myself and my husband. I realized the expenses we’re incurring are completely unnecessary and VERY bad for us! So I hit the books and began learning about where food comes from and how I can do it myself!

- Break my bad habits that lead to my clutter problem

(un)Fortunately I have a rebellion problem. I rebel against everything. One of the first things I rebelled against when I left home was my mother’s “cleanliness” rules. What I saw as her being overbearing and unyielding “neat freakishness” was actually her trying to teach me the basic skills I would need later in life. Fast forward 13 years, and I now have some major bad habits when it comes to picking up after me. NO, I don’t go around leaving a trail behind me, but I do tend to leave magazines and papers in piles! As easy as it should be this is something I struggle with and really would like to see improved.

Ego

2012-08-01T10:00:00.000-05:00

Oh, the ego, such a fragile delicate little thing you are. According to the dictionary the definition for the ego is

1. The “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought. 2. Psychoanalysis. The part of the psychic apparatus that experiences and reacts to the outside world and thus mediates between the primitive drives of the id and the demands of the social and physical environment. 3. egotism; conceit; self-importance: Her ego becomes more unbearable each day. 4. self-esteem or self-image; feelings: Your criticism wounded his ego.

"With the disappearance of God the Ego moves forward to become the sole divinity." ~Dorothee Sölle~

"The great corrupter of public man is the ego. Looking at the mirror distracts one's attention from the problem." Dean Acheson

"Conceit causes more conversation than wit."La Rochefoucauld

"Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. “Frank Leahy

"Our ego is our silent partner...too often with a controlling interest." Cullen Hightower

"Many could forgo heavy meals, a full wardrobe, a fine house, etcetera. It is the ego they cannot forgo." Mohandas Gandhi

"Life is a compromise of what your ego wants to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do." Bruce Crampton

"All works are being done by the energy and power of nature, but due to delusion of ego people assume themselves to be the doer." Bhagavad Gita

"Self-conceit may lead to self-destruction." Aesop

“The ego is a deep desire to dominate. The ego is a deep desire that says, "I am special, higher, bigger, greater than you." Osho

“Hell is for all extraordinary people. They may be in politics, in art, literature -- wherever they are, hell is for all geniuses, for all extraordinary people, all egoists. Ego is the hell, it gives you suffering -- because unnecessarily you start conflicting with everything. You are never at ease, unease becomes your style of life; with the ego you will always be at unease. Ego is a discomfort; it is a nail in the shoe, it continuously pinches, but you want to be extraordinary.” Osho

“Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it. “ Colin Powell

“Every normal person, in fact, is only normal on the average. His ego approximates to that of the psychotic in some part or other and to a greater or lesser extent. “Sigmund Freud

Dreams

2012-07-31T10:00:00.000-05:00

To most people I’m just a dreamer. Because I’m an extreme optimist and like to see the best in everything I’m a dreamer. I believe that life is intended to be lived to the fullest and every moment should be relished. Each experience offers a lesson or an opportunity. I don’t believe my creator placed me here with all these goals, desires, dreams, wishes, and ideas to live life ordinarily. I’m not talking living a luxurious or lavish life (although I wouldn’t mind thatJ) I’m talking about living a life that each morning is greeted with joy and enthusiasm instead of dread and fear. There’s elation of anticipation when I think about what life will bring me each day. This is my idea of living my dreams.

“All the things one has forgotten scream for help in dreams.” ~Elias Canetti

“Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you.” ~Marsha Norman

“Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions.” ~Edgar Cayce

Pay attention to your dreams - God's angels often speak directly to our hearts when we are asleep. ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994

“Some colors exist in dreams that are not present in the waking spectrum.” ~Terri Guillemets

“The best reason for having dreams is that in dreams no reasons are necessary.” ~Ashleigh Brilliant

“Dreams are more real than reality itself, they're closer to the self.” GAO XINGJIAN, Dialogue and Rebuttal

“If we couldn't dream, our lives wouldn't mean anything anymore.” GEORGE KAISER, The Raft of the Medusa

“Dreams are the seedlings of reality.” NAPOLEON HILL

“There are men who would do anything, asleep, and I'm not sure what stops them when they wake. I do not know how they draw the line.” ANNE ENRIGHT, The Gathering

“People who are most afraid of their dreams convince themselves they don't dream at all.” JOHN STEINBECK

“All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.” ORISON SWETT MARDEN

“You can't put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get.” MICHAEL PHELPS

“The blackest murder is the killing of the Soul's aspirations!” EDWIN LEIBFREED

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

“Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy.” ~Sigmund Freud

Anger

2012-07-30T10:00:00.000-05:00

Anger is an emotion just like happiness, embarrassment, fear, and sadness. Anger becomes dangerous when it becomes the foundation of your actions. Anger is powerful and should be treated with respect. How often have we seen perfectly sane and rational people make life altering decisions because of anger? Anger is usually released when some sort of boundary has been crossed. It tells us we’ve been hurt or violated and did not want to be. It is how you react to anger which determines whether or not you control anger or it controls you! Enjoy some quotes related to anger.

“If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?” ~Sydney J. Harris

“Life is too short to hold a grudge, also too long.” ~Robert Brault

“Anger is one letter short of danger.” ~Author Unknown

“People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.” ~Will Rogers

“Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge.” ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot. ~Korean Proverb

Not the fastest horse can catch a word spoken in anger. ~Chinese Proverb

“Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.” ~Albert Einstein

“Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry.” ~Lyman Abbott

“If you get upset when the toast burns, what are you going to do when your house burns down?” ~Author Unknown

“Two things a man should never be angry at: What he can help, and what he cannot help.” ~Thomas Fuller

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain

“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” Marcus Aurelius

“If you do not wish to be prone to anger, do not feed the habit; give it nothing which may tend to its increase." Epictetus

The Art of Perfection

2012-07-27T10:00:00.000-05:00

Many are plagued with the idea that perfection is achievable. I don’t believe it is. Excellence is a definite, but not perfection. Below are some quotes on the throws of perfection.

“A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault.” ~John Henry Newman

“To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” ~Elbert Hubbard

Sometimes... when you hold out for everything, you walk away with nothing. ~From the television show Ally McBeal

“Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.” ~Confucius, Analects

“When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target.” ~George Fisher

“Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues.” ~Hugh Prather

“Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.” ~Salvador Dali

“When nobody around you seems to measure up, it's time to check your yardstick.” ~Bill Lemley

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
― Donald Miller

“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business.”
― Michael J. Fox

“Nobody's perfect. We're all just one step up from the beasts and one step down from the angels.”
― Jeannette Walls, Half Broke Horses

“The maxim, "Nothing prevails but perfection," may be spelled PARALYSIS.”
― Winston Churchill

“Perfection' is man's ultimate illusion. It simply doesn't exist in the universe.... If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.”
― David Burns

Living in the past

2012-07-26T10:40:00.003-05:00

One thing I’ve found is that a lot of people dwell in their past. Know that each day is a new day and a new chance to do, be and see better! Don’t focus on yesterday unless you want a mindset of woulda, shoulda, and coulda. Constantly practicing this thought pattern robs you of can, did, and done! Enjoy some quotes on change and the past!

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past are certain to miss the future." John F. Kennedy

“One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.” ~Michael Cibenko

“I have memories - but only a fool stores his past in the future.” ~David Gerrold

“We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.” ~Art Buchwald

“If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven't done much today.” ~Author Unknown

“Living the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causing you to bump into people not going your way.” ~Edna Ferber

“Opportunities fly by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone.” ~Jerome K. Jerome, The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow, 1889

Creative thinking

2012-07-10T09:35:00.000-05:00

Creativity is something we all have. It isn't just the ability to sing, create art or write. It's the act of thinking outside of the standard. It's the ability to see things differently and to share those thoughts or ideas with the masses. Gone are the days of teaching students what to think and memorizing multiple tables and diagrams. The most successful academic programs are teaching students how to think. How to use the mind to think outside of the box. To probe new ideas, new understandings, and new methods.

When people think methodically they tend to think the same ideas with only slight altered changes. When you think creatively you dream, you fantasize, you are able to think on another level. Creative thinking has given us some of the greatest achievements and advancements we've seen. If Henry Ford had asked the masses what they would like to see improved with the horse and buggy, they would've told him a faster horse. Because he was thinking creatively he was able to envision something bigger and better.

"An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup." H. L. Mencken

"Fantasies are more than substitutes for unpleasant reality; they are also dress rehearsals, plans. All acts performed in the world begin in the imagination." Barbara Harrison

"Creativity is Intelligence Having Fun" Albert Einstein

"Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart." Mencius

"Creativity, as has been said, consists largely of rearranging what we know in order to find out what we do not know. Hence, to think creatively, we must be able to look afresh at what we normally take for granted." George Kneller