Joy of My Heart

One Year Together

2014-06-10T10:51:00.002-07:00

One year ago today we sat before a beautiful, Ethiopian judge in a small, modest courtroom in Addis Ababa. She peered at the picture of our sons before her. We watched her face light up with a sweet smile and she said to us, “They look so happy”. I remember watching my surroundings become foggy as my eyes welled with tears. I knew it was a mixture of emotions ranging from simple physical exhaustion to mental weariness to complete elation. We had already been asked on penalty of perjury if we had spent time with our boys; if we liked them; if we knew that this process would make them our sons forever… irrevocably; and if we still wanted to adopt these two little boys and make them Gregersens forever. It was as simple as responding, “Yes. Yes. Yes…” Just like that, our family grew by two more children!

Today I recall the knowledge that our day in court was simply a mere glimpse and “notch” on the stick in what had already been set in place – and time – by God Almighty. Simon Getinet and Elijah Bizuneh had been planned and destined for our family since before they were formed in their dear birth mama’s womb. The same Father God that adopted me when I was yet a wretch gave me the privilege of living the gospel through earthly adoption. Oh, how I pray that He is glorified through our family!

There is yet much healing to take place and thankfully I’ve met with peace knowing that the healing is not mine to accomplish. It’s all about God and his saving work. What is the gospel? It’s the truth! Jesus lived a perfect, sinless life and then gave that life as ransom for us, the true sinners. He died the death of a criminal; suffering beyond belief and spilling righteous blood on my behalf. And that wasn’t the end of the story! He stepped out of the tomb, alive and exalted, in a glorified heavenly body! He did this for us so we can be with Him forever, with His Father in heaven. Amazing grace and mercy! How sweet indeed.

Healing is a process; longer for some than others, but it comes. In God’s timing, it comes. It may not always look like what we want it to look like, but when He reveals it… Wow. It is way more beautiful and timely than we could ever imagine. Healing here has been a journey. It is happening in spurts. In seasons. In mysterious moments and words. In joy and humor. And always in love. The love I feel for my youngest sons runs so deep… The only way to explain it is to assure all you mamas out there that the love is truly the same as if my two youngest grew in my womb. There are times I forget that we “look different”. I don’t know that I even notice looks or comments anymore. I’m just not there right now. What I notice are the times when Rhyan, our 15 yr old daughter sits with 5 yr old Eli to work on a puzzle, and when Ty, our 12 yr old takes Simon, our 7 yr old, out to the backyard to work on his catching or play whiffle ball. I see the sparkle in everyone’s eyes when we crack jokes at the dinner table and even our two littles get it! I find rest and hope in the hugs, kisses, “I love you”s, thumbs up, brother handshakes, piggy back rides up the stairs…

The truth is that one year ago today, my boys met face-to-face with the gospel. They were adopted by a daddy and mommy who loved them simply because we love. Not because they did anything to earn our love. There was no “work” or “task” for them to accomplish. They didn’t ask us to adopt them. It was all our choice. They had absolutely nothing to do with it! They didn’t even know us. We reached out to them and drew them near. We brought them into the fold, just as our Good Shepherd brought us in. We chose to bring them into our family, just like God chose to make us His own, by no striving or asking of our own.

So, now we reflect on what that means for our family. When God saved me, He set me apart. I’m no better than anyone else. I’m still a sinner, BUT I’m now clothed in His righteousness and others should know that by my fruit. I’ve been filled with the power and comfort of the Holy Spirit and in Him I leave behind the darkness, death and misery of a life without Jesus. And our sons? They’ve been set apart too! They’ve been drawn into the Gregersen Family. They’ve been called out to leave behind the loneliness, grief, despair, and emptiness of life as orphans. The past is gone! A new life has begun! Just as God calls us to the light and beauty of a new life in Him, I believe we can expect the same transformation from our children – all in God’s timing. The old must pass away and the new life as Americans and Gregersens brings beauty, joy, and glory to their Savior, Jesus Christ.

In no way do we wish to forget or dishonor the birth country of our boys. We love Ethiopia and the people who call it home. It’s funny that as the one year anniversary of us meeting our boys has come upon us, our little Eli has finally begun to talk about Ethiopia and ask questions about his birth father. He literally NEVER vocalized anything before 5 days ago. Ever. Every day since June 6^th (the day in 2013 we learned we were cleared to travel to meet the boys!) he has asked about going on an airplane together again, and why his birth father is sad, and how come there isn’t fun stuff in Ethiopia. There it is. More healing! He is releasing the ties he has to his birth country in what I believe is a healthy and honest way. We love talking to him and Simon about our adoption. We love telling them how blessed we are to be chosen as their mom and dad and family. We love knowing that their birth father gave us his blessing and gratitude and that we can tell our boys how much we love him too. And to reassure them that they don’t have to cut off the love they have for their birth parents is healing for all of us. They can enjoy the gift that God gave them of having two earthly moms and dads!

We continue to pray that through adoption our children get to relive the gospel each day. In their hearts and minds, they need to be aware of the fact that they are new creations. They don’t have to live as if they are in the pit anymore. And truthfully, we won’t accept that as an excuse for behaviors that reflect lost souls. They are lost no more. God’s children – all of us – can rest assured that He strengthens and equips us to live the life He calls us to.

Thank you for praying for us. Thank you for partnering with us in so many ways throughout the past year. Thank you that even when you may not have agreed or understood why or when or how, you were still there. Thank you for still being there. We are humbled at the knowledge of the friends and family God has brought into our lives and the ways He has made you all a part of our story. He writes every story, and we are honored to have all of you written in our book, and to be in each of your story books in that immense, amazing library in His heavenly mansion. J Yes, I believe there is one of those in heaven! And that gets a resounding, “AMEN!”

Grace and Peace to You Always,

Patty

Every single THAT is so worth all of THIS

2014-01-24T20:48:00.000-08:00

Simon saw an automatic ice dispenser in the Dulles airport on our way home from Ethiopia. There may have been an invisible shove from his inner core that made his little body fly backwards in stupor when his new daddy placed that cup under the dispenser and pushed that lever. Then he slowly crept close and looked up the shoot in wonder. "What - in this little world I have known - was THAT!?"

I watched this event unravel as I was still reeling from our trans-Atlantic flight. My mind was already getting a preview of what our family would experience over the next few months as we would transition to a family of 6. A family God was already very aware of and familiar with. A family we had all been praying for and one in which God would teach me through experience about sacrifice, humility, service, unconditional love, and trust. He would teach me more about Him.

I watched my baby who was still merely 4 years old cry from fear and stress until his nose bled. Bless the dear man who gave up his seat on our tiny commuter flight from DC to Charlotte so I could sit in front of Eli and Paul in an attempt to offer warmth and help to my little boy who still wanted nothing to do with me. All he could relate to was the need for a father who wouldn't abandon him, and his trust in that at the time was nil. I watched my sweet and amazing 15 year old daughter sit with her new 7 year old brother stepping in as a pseudo-second mama, yet desperately trying to keep her weary eyes pried open for the last two legs of our trip home.

The first leg was from Addis through Rome and over the deep, wide ocean to America. On that day of our lives, my new sons stared in awe as the flight attendants placed trays of food in front of their hungry little faces. Simon ate his food as if it would sprout wings and fly off his tray. I finally realized I needed to slow him down. After I recovered from another moment of "this is reality" shock.

The mood certainly took a turn for the different as we set off on our last legs home. The final flight from Charlotte to Phoenix was the roughest. By this time, not a one of us could give a darn about food. We had to race from one gate to the next and barely made it on the tail end of the boarding line. Our seats were all over the place. Again, we were blessed by a kind woman who allowed me to sit across the aisle from Rhyan and Simon and in front of Paul and Eli. It was all Paul and I could do to keep our baby in his seat and remain buckled. Mere exhaustion was our right hand man. Each one of my family members passed out. Finally.

I had quiet. I had "me time". I was numb. Though there were a small handful of smiles and kind words nearby, I had already noticed the cold shoulders and the critical stares. I am choosing to believe that I remember it as worse than it really was. After all, I was saying to myself, "What have you done?" I can't help but wonder, though, what some of the cartoon bubbles over the other passengers' heads read... "Control your kid, woman." "Don't bring foreigners to our country." ?? Part of me was sad. I felt an icy, self-centered climate that I hadn't noticed on our flight in Africa. The people on Ethiopian Airlines smiled, talked, played with the children, listened to music. The Americans... read their iPads and pulled out their laptops. They disengaged all they could from anything other than self. Yes, I'm generalizing, but I can't help but remember feeling a peculiar sadness as I contemplated what our society has become in America. We live in a nation of ME, MYSELF, and I. So counter-gospel. So scary.

Our boys have now been home for 19 weeks. Yes, I still count. :) It's like the birth of a new baby! You state their ages in months until after their second birthday! Yesterday, I sat with all three of my sons at the Social Security office in downtown Phoenix for nearly two and a half hours. It was one of the many administrative chores that come with adoption, that make one feel like their children are merely numbers in a country where there are so many different views on parenting, family, faith, morals, religion... A middle-aged man and a woman sat in the aisle across from us. They must have known that I have learned to tune things out. You mommies know what I mean! They must have thought I would tune them out as I heard the man say, "I love children, but geez. How and why would anyone want to do that." My little guys were watching Learning with Leapfrog on my cell phone. Quietly. My twelve year old was keeping guard. Basically, being the big brother on-call. I looked straight at the man who turned his gaze my direction. I smiled. He didn't smile back, but instead chose to avert his gaze elsewhere. He had absolutely no clue about anything. He had no idea about the hours and tears poured out as we parented our children; teaching each of them what it means to live godly lives - and for Simon and Eli - what it looks like to live in America and with a family. Then I smiled to myself thinking that I knew exactly "how and why". GOD. If you don't get the gospel, you truly don't get "how and why". My heart broke for that man.

7 uHear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;

be gracious to me and answer me!

8 You have said, v“Seek4 my face.”

My heart says to you,

“Your face, Lord, do I seek.”5

9 wHide not your face from me.

Turn not your servant away in anger,

O you who have been my help.

Cast me not off; forsake me not,

xO God of my salvation!

10 For ymy father and my mother have forsaken me,

but the Lord will ztake me in.

Psalm 27:7-10

That is exactly why adoptive families can walk through the "how and why" each day. We all know, this is no walk in the park. Though the boys have bonded beautifully, and my baby who wanted nothing from me for the first month home is now my kissy face, mama's boy, we still have rough patches of learning to trust each other and giving in to what God is teaching us about trusting Him.

See, my boys have experienced being forsaken by their father and mother. It wasn't something they asked for, and I don't believe for a moment that it was something their biological parents asked for or wanted. It just is what this world dealt them. All of them. But, the good news is that Jesus would never forsake them.

Whose voice and face do we SEEK; long for when we are mere infants? Mom. I wanted so badly for my sons to have that immediate desire for me as Mom from the moment we brought them home. I thought that if the attachment and love was immediate, it would make life in transition so much easier. Of course it may have. But even a birth mom who holds her newborn in her arms from day 1, finds life with her new little human hard. Why is that? Because as humans, we fail. Every. Single. Time. We are not perfect, and inevitably, human will fail human. Hence, our need for Jesus. Exactly why we need to SEEK His face. His grace is the only sufficiency we need for life, and He is the mother and father who will NEVER forsake us.

As I learn each day to let go of the need to be the perfect and only mom to my boys, I grow closer to them each day. I know in my heart of hearts that God is the parent who has and will save them. The awesome thing is, this reality is true for ALL my children; not just my two youngest. God wants my kids... and ME, to desire His arms. To look to Him for everything. To know that He will never forsake us. To remember that this life and this world is temporary and the eternal is close at hand. This is the truth, and when I remember that serving His kingdom and making disciples for Him should always be number one on my radar, the pressure to be the perfect mom fades. After all, it's a pressure that comes from this world, not God's.

From our coming-home day through now, there have been beautiful breakthroughs of God's love and faithfulness. Watching Ty greet his new brothers with gifts and hugs and huge smiles was priceless. Seeing the tears in my mom's eyes as she embraced her new grandsons and the pride in my dad's smile when he met them for the first time made my heart skip a beat. Listening to Eli ask for "Sitoo" (Sister) when she isn't with us is...well, so stinkin' sweet.

We've gone from THAT to THIS!

"That" was touching, grabbing, and pushing absolutely everything every button, every switch and lever, every dial and knob within reach; impulsively. OH the frustration and exhaustion! "This" is both boys knowing that light switches are simply for lights to be on or off, and knowing that water refills at the frig are by permission only.

"That" was not being in public for fear we may be dragged to the nearest prison cell as we attempted to train our youngest children. "This" was sitting in a crowded restaurant and the woman in the next booth leaning over to tell us how well-behaved our children are.

"That" was 5:30 a.m. wake up calls complete with busting through closed doors and opening shutters before Mom and Dad's eyes are opened. "This" is knocks on doors for permission to enter and staying in bedrooms until 8:00 a.m.

"That" was gated off entrances to our kitchen since little boys didn't know how to keep hands off and stood at the gates chanting for "dapo" (bread), "moos" (banana) and "chai" (tea). "This" is needing to be called to wash up for meal time. AND communicating in complete English sentences!

"That" was "embee" (no) with accompanied shoulder shrugs and screaming, kicking tantrums. "This" is "Okay Mom" and smiles and "I love you"s galore.

We had to experience THAT to get to THIS. It has and still is leading us into a new life. A better life! Jesus knows exactly how it feels. He gives us the privilege of a new and better life through Him. If our family's contribution to spreading the gospel in this lifetime is through our adoption journey, Amen and Alleluia! Every single THAT is so worth all of THIS!

And He Smiled

2013-11-08T15:58:00.000-08:00

Simon: "America. Food yummy!" big smile

Me: "Yes, it is!" big smile

Simon: "Ethiopia. Food yummy!" big smile

Me: "Yes, it is!" big smile

Simon: "Mom. Eli, Simon, Ethiopia hungry. Dejene money. Food. Little bit Simon, Eli." smile

Me: "Really, Simon?" smile

Simon: "Yes. Ethiopia Mommy (picture pantomime of a dead person here). Simon sleep. Stand up, change (picture pantomime of a little boy putting clothes on here). Look mommy... (picture pantomime of dead person and a small shake of the little 6 yr old head) No more."

Me: No words. (picture a small nod of the head and tears forming)

Simon: "Simon waa waa" smile

Me: No words. (head still nods slightly, still tears come)

Simon: "Dejene - More Mommy!" big smile (picture my 6 yr old pointing at me with an actual look of joy on his little face that has held so much pain and grief...)

Me: "I love you, Simon." (tears falling)

Dejene is the name of our boys' birth father. Can you make this all out? He went out to get money somehow, to feed his family. He also grieved with his children while he watched his bride fade away from an awful disease that is now so treatable and preventable. My sons slept next to their birth mother when she passed from here into the arms of Jesus, and my 6 yr old remembers all of it. He spilled his guts to tell me what happened to his birth mother and to acknowledge that his birth father wanted him to have a new mommy. And he smiled.

Our New Normal

2013-10-15T22:08:00.001-07:00

Remember when we cleared US Embassy and were preparing for our Gotcha Day in Ethiopia? Remember how I said that this adoption journey was far from over and how we were really ready to begin Volume 2 of a many volume set? Yes siree! Volume 2 is well into chapter 1!

Rooftop at the guest home

Our time in Ethiopia was short; four days total. That includes airport time. We were excited to know that we were in country for the Ethiopian New Year and thus had some much needed quiet time (As quiet as it gets with 6 and 4 year old boys running a-muck!) at the Guest Home. We are so in love with the staff at the GH and were happy to sit and talk and spend time with them. We watched special TV programs and found ourselves learning traditional, celebratory Ethiopian songs and traditions of the holiday. Overall, we found ourselves more in love with the country and the people. Rhyan, 15 years old, is convinced she will go back some day. She says she may live there, but who knows. She has had a vision of ministering to deaf children, especially orphans in Ethiopia. I don't doubt that God will equip her if this is her calling.

US Embassy in Addis Ababa

If one were to ask me what my "favorite part" of our trip was (other than taking my boys out of the foster home and into our arms forever), I would answer without a second thought - meeting and spending time with our sons' biological father. We weren't sure it would happen, and we weren't sure it was the best thing to do just before we brought the boys to the other side of the world, but oooohhh am I glad we did. It wasn't easy, mind you. Our hearts raced at the thoughts that crept through our minds. What if he changed his mind? What if it left us all with sorrow and grief? What if the boys didn't want to come with us? What if...? But what if God was blessing us with the gift of more family ties? He is a sweet, gentle, kind soul who taught his boys about Jesus and loves them with a love so deep and true. He explained to them again that he wants them to have a good life away from poverty and disease. He held them and kissed them, and so gently reassured them and us of his gratitude and love. I weep when I think of him - my brother in Christ and the man who gave us his blessing to raise his children as our own. My heart breaks for him and his loss; so much he has had to endure.

Traditional New Year's Bread

Preparing for coffee ceremony

Simon and Rhyan

The Gregersen's with our sweet friend, Eshetu.

So now...

Our boys are home! We brought them to America via Addis Ababa, Rome, Washington D.C., Charlotte, NC, and into sunny and hot Phoenix, Arizona on September 14, 2013. No words can thoroughly tell the depth of emotion, joy, exhaustion, reality, weakness, and strength God has blessed us with in the last five weeks. Suffice it to say, we serve an awesome God who never ceases to amaze me and remind me of his sovereignty and overflowing grace and mercy. Though, I must say, I am still wondering how we could be so blessed as to be chosen for this incredibly difficult and wonderful adventure. Dear friends of mine shared some incredibly strong words and prayer with me this weekend and it was all so confirming of what has been on my heart lately. I am steadfast in the realization and acceptance that our boys were meant to be ours from the beginning of time and that God destined them to be Gregersens... and that He has really amazing, beautiful plans for their lives as they grow closer to Him each day. And that I am simply walking in obedience to my Daddy God. What was illuminated for me these last couple days, though, is something I've been pushing into the background of my daily struggles and stumbles. God has something amazing and beautiful for ME too! Not just in the future, but right now, and if I don't stop long enough in the given moments of each day to gaze at the wonder of my two youngest children being HERE. Home. Well... I am missing it. I don't want to miss anymore of the joy that God has for me right now. He has planted the seed of true love in my heart for two little "strangers" that are suddenly my sons. I love them the way I love the children that were planted in my womb. If that isn't God, I just don't know what is.

Now, let me tell you that I also have a much deeper understanding of the fact that love is a command; an action word. Something we do and choose. It isn't just a fluttery feeling in the tummy and it sometimes isn't even "like". I can tell you honestly that there are times - many right now - when I don't like what God has given me. But when I stop to realize why I don't like it, I am utterly ashamed. It's because I am a selfish, lazy, covetous, sinner. and I am reminded that even in these dreadful weaknesses, God loves me more than I can fathom. Sheesh. How does it get more convicting than that? "I don't want to give up the 8:00 a.m. wake up time in exchange for the 5:30 one! I don't want to give up the walks alone with worship music and sermons piped through ear buds! I don't want to give up date nights and girl talk at the coffee shop!" Whine, whine, whine! Whether I want to or not, it's done.. And the more I take my sin to God, leave it at His feet, and ask Him to forgive my sorry self... the more filled with joy I am to sit in the time that God is giving me with my little guys - and entire family anew. I am learning to take deep breaths and raise my littles as I raised my two olders years ago. It's all flooding back, and though there are differences because of circumstances, there are also many similarities. We are training and raising up our sons the way God has called us to. To know Jesus. To praise and worship Him. To pray always. To lean on Him for peace and wisdom. When Eli listens to the radio in the car, his tiny toddler voice says to me, "Mom, Jesus!" with a squinty grin each time. Simon tears up and reverently says the name of Jesus when he watches worship videos and sees images of the cross and our Savior. Oh my heart. It literally makes me want to fall on my face.

Finally home after three airplanes and over 22 hours in flight.

Do I long for the days when they know English and they sleep past 5:30 a.m.? Yes! Do I pray for the time when I can go to the bathroom without locking the door? Yes! Do I wonder when Simon and Eli will be confident in our love for them and know that we will never leave them or forsake them? Yes! God will get us there; in His timing, just like He planned and set into motion everything that has led to this day and time. As I write this I realize that they haven't used their Ethiopian names in... uhhmmm...a long time! Woohoooo! Progress in the right direction. :-)

The new and improved GFource!

Elijah and Simon GREGERSEN!

Here is a thought I'll leave you with. Our Simon is very strong-willed and tests us to the very end. He is smart as a whip and understands more than he wants to admit. Funny how God changed things up for us! It was our baby, Eli who we thought would be the most challenging! Anyway, almost daily there is an "opportunity" for me to tell Simon to look at my eyes. I have to sometimes take his little chin and direct his focus to me and say, "Look at Mommy when Mommy is talking to you." Uhm. Yeah. How often does our Father God do that to us? Probably all the time 'cause I don't know about you, but I am constantly looking away at all the distractions of life and all the self-thought-up answers and directions I think I'm supposed to follow. God is taking me by the chin and saying, "Look at me! I AM talking to you! I have the answers! I will lead you! I AM here!"

Thank You, Lord, for being there for all of us and reminding us that You will never leave or forsake us. Thank You for the gift of two new Gregersens and all we will learn and experience in our New Normal. Amen

(As I was waiting for photos to load, both boys got out of bed, asked for water, and proceeded to read books in the top bunk. It's 10:00! If I could be guaranteed they'd sleep in, ok. But truth is, sleeping in for them is 6:00 a.m. Darn...)

We Cleared! Now We Raise...

2013-09-02T11:53:00.000-07:00

We cleared!!! What does that mean? It means the US Embassy has given our sons "permission" to leave Ethiopia and immigrate to America. Our exit interview will take place next week and we'll bring our babies home. Finally!!! The wait has been hard at times, but through the anxious moments and the pleas for God to move on their behalf, He has given us peace and strength to rest in Him. What happens now? We pray for peace and strength to continue to rest in God, because check out what happens now...

Paul and I transition not only FROM somewhat frequent date-nights, sleeping in on weekends, and mommy coffee dates, but also

FROM:

parenting two introverted home-bodies who are quite independent and somewhat “spoiled”, in the double-digit ages of their young yet not "baby" lives, have been attached and nurtured from Day 1, with no scars of physical or emotional abuse, neglect, disease, parental loss, malnutrition, group living in an institution...

TO:

parenting two little ones who have experienced all of the story of orphan life. They've been in the pit of despair and destruction and we are barely at the top of that pit holding onto their little hands and looking in their little faces as we speak life over them and let them know they are done living in the filth, dank, darkness of that pit. We have to hold on for dear life and pull them out because what they know in their short life times has been yucky. They have truly known extreme poverty, disease, loss of all they love - parents, home, family, warmth, food. They've been institutionalized, even at the same ages that our oldest were learning how to swim, watching Sesame Street and Veggie Tales in their jammies with their favorite blankies, and snacking on cookies and milk with Mom and Dad. Have they ever really attached to anyone? What did love look like for them? Who has nurtured and cared for them? UGH

What will this look like?

I am not the perfect parent! I’m not really even very good at this. It’s all about God’s will and learning to do things His way and in His strength. Learning that I should never get the glory for what He has done and will do in our family and for our boys. It's not really Paul and I holding onto their sweet hands and pulling for dear life to rescue our sons from that pit. It's really God holding onto OUR hands and reminding us that He already did the rescuing. This is what it HAS to look like.

We all have much to prepare for. For anyone who has thought or said to me or Paul, "You are amazing." "What a beautiful thing you are doing." "Those boys are so lucky." Or any other statements that allude to exactly where you know I'm going here...

Please don’t think that I have it all together! That I’m full of grace and love and I am “super-mom”. You know, that thought that passes through some peoples’ minds when they know an adoptive mom and they say to themselves, “I wish I could be a parent like her and do all that she does!” No way. Don’t let that be the way you think of me! Remember, this adoption stuff was all God’s idea. I’m seriously weak and imperfect and need God ALL THE TIME. There is no way I went ahead of Him in this - thinking I was such a great parent and because of that I should have more kids. You don’t see me at home when I yell at my kids because their lessons aren’t complete when I think they should be, or when I can’t seem to take five minutes away from my email or phone to give my eyes, ears, and heart to one of my children who need or just WANT my attention. It hurts my heart just knowing how imperfect I am. But, then again, if I thought I was “all that”, then how would I ever come to the full understanding that I NEED my God. I need to lean on Him for everything. Life is not easy. If it were, we would forget to turn to Him, even for the simple ability to breathe in deep.

Adoptive mommies are learning how to parent wounded and broken children. That is a whole different ballgame, folks. I think about all the hurts my two youngest have experienced: poverty, mal-nourishment, disease, loss of loved ones, lack of education and fun, abandonment… Friends - this all means parenting by an entirely new set of rules. It means dealing with all sorts of possibilities – rejection, anger, violence, disobedience and rebellion, lies, stealing, illness. And the list goes on. I will be; I MUST be a different mommy to these boys than I have been to our two oldest. It’s a very daunting calling when I haven’t even mastered how to be a “good” parent to them.

How can you as our friends be involved and helpful?

1. Remember we are imperfect! We are no different from you. We just had a different calling - or maybe the same, if you have adopted. My guess is that here is when we stop 'looking amazing' (if we ever did). When our family of six is together at home, this journey will not be over! On the contrary, the second volume of a many volume set will have just begun! All children make all parents realize the need for a God who loves and disciplines us unconditionally.

2. You can pray for us. Pray for a smooth transition with as little anger and sadness as possible. Pray for strength and rest for all of us. Pray for soft hearts for Rhyan and Tyler as they learn to share every part of our emotions and energy. Pray for health and safety. Pray that the language barrier is overcome quickly. Pray that we don't lose friends and family who may not seem to accept or understand our schedule changes and needs, and focus on our two youngest, and to "equally" accept the boys as real family divinely created to be raised as Gregersens. Pray for peace and patience for each other.

3. Please be patient with us. Our family will look different and be different. It will take time to re-enter life as we've known it. Actually, life as we've known it will not be the same at all. We're taking a complete 180 degree turn! If you can be patient with us, at least friends and family as we've known it may still be there to share life with us!

4. Learn what it means to be the friend or family member of adoptive parents. And also what it's like for us as adoptive parents. There are so many books, helpful blogs, websites, etc. that are great resources. We haven't done this on our own! You have all been part of this journey in so many ways. As the body of Christ, you have partnered with us in God's plan of adoption! Below are just a few resources that might be helpful.

dear friends of waiting adoptive moms: some things to know (also, we’re sorry)

Love - the same but different

When I Look at My Daughter, I May Always Think About Adoption - See more at: http://www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com/blogs/post/thinking-about-adoption-and-my-daughters-birth-mother/#sthash.l41hICUJ.dpuf

On a special note, we are still a bit short on funding for our final trip and remaining agency fees. Please see our "Your Bids Help Our Kids"

page and share, ShArE, SHARE!

Happy bidding!

~ Patty

A New Knowledge of Kinship

2013-08-09T21:41:00.000-07:00

Never in my wildest imagination did I ever "think" this is what my life would look like today. We all say that, right; but, really. Who ever lives day-to-day in your homeland, the country of origin that God has chosen for you, in the time He has chosen for you - and realizes years before it happens that your own life will be so intertwined and connected with another family on the other side of the world? I mean, I guess one can have those college-kid aspirations of going abroad; working on a fishing vessel off the coast of Scandinavia, or being a tutor for a family in France. Maybe even "growing up" and knowing there is a mission waiting for you in an impoverished and God-hungry third world country. I don't mean to nullify or devalue these dreams and real callings and visions in any way. However, this adoption thing. Well, it just gets bigger and wilder every day, and I'm certainly not one of the few (because there are some) who grew up just knowing I would adopt one day. I had no idea this was coming!

We received the long-awaited email this past Monday. The one that I would wake up at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning for. Pretty much every day...night? Whatever. Picking up my phone and scrolling through my mailbox just praying that the email from across the Atlantic, and another continent - and 10 hours ago would be there. This mama wanted to see those words so badly! "Your adoption case has been submitted to the US Embassy in Ethiopia". Sweet, sweet words. What joy it was to see that! But, the ride isn't over yet. Only our oldest, Simon's, name was on the case title. As it turns out, our baby, Elijah, is still not submitted. The Embassy is still waiting on "medical" results before he can be submitted. What kind of results? I don't know. When will they be ready to submit his papers? I don't know. Will they process both of our sons at the same time, or wait until Eli's papers are complete and process them together? I don't know. When do we get scheduled for our visa interview? I don't know. When do we get to pick up our sons and bring them home? I DON'T KNOW! I don't know! Do you have any idea how that feels? I have children on the other side of the world and I can't put a band aid on their ow-ees. I can't cut a pb&j sandwich in quarters for them and make sure they have milk to go with their lunch. I can't watch them play catch with their daddy from the kitchen window. I can't wipe their tears, read them a story, kiss them goodnight... I can't even stop the attachment and love from growing each day so that the hurt of not having them here can go away, or at least ease off. There is no such thing. They are simply my kids and I'm supposed to be with them. Yet, as I continue to learn to release the heartache to God and trust in His perfect timing, He continues to help me see His plans and reasons for this amazing journey and family He has for us.

Here is what God brought me to today. Intense love and sorrow for a family in Ethiopia who I now understand are part of my family. My boys have been in an orphanage since December of 2011. Probably on or just days after Simon's birthday. Why? Because they, along with their father and sister, had to watch their mother be sick and die from a virus that she wasn't able to be treated for. They buried her in a protestant cemetery, and then my sons' father, knowing he was ill with the same virus, decided the best thing for his sons was to leave them in an orphanage; not even two months after his wife died; probably in his arms. The grief that brings me to is more than I can explain. Do I "know" these people? As of today, I feel that I do. God has brought them into my life. Into our family's life, and He truly has given me such a love for them, that not only do I grieve for my sons, who in their less than a dozen years of life put together have experienced more hurt and loss than most people would experience in their whole lives. But, I love their biological father. I love their biological mother and pray I see her in the sweet by and by. I love their extended family, all of whom have admitted to not having the means or ability to raise my little boys in a healthy and nurturing life. My heart hurts for each of them. Huge hurt.

I am seriously yearning for the opportunity to meet my sons' bio dad when we go back to Ethiopia to bring the boys home. Our desire is to meet as many of their kin as possible. We want to love on them, pray for them, share a meal with them, assure them that they made the best decision and that we love the boys and will take care of them always. That we are all kin now. That our hearts are overflowing with joy and awe at how God has written this story.

We still wait and rest in the Lord. Today was a day of new mercies, new beginnings, and another set of blinders completely removed and replaced with the heart of God. How much does He love us? What does that look like? It looks like this - my sons' first father walked into that orphanage and surrendered them there because he knew his days were numbered and he couldn't provide for them anymore. Even more, real love is this: my Savior, Jesus, stumbling down the Via de la Rosa on His way to the cross where He willingly opened His arms and surrendered His life for us, so that His Father in Heaven would be pleased and so His name would be exalted. See, here it is... "you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:15

Patty's Adoption Travel Journal - Trip One

2013-06-26T13:27:00.001-07:00

Monday, June 10, 2013

I don't even know where to begin this evening. My hand is trembling as I write. Jet lag stinks. Anxiety stinks. Sleep deprivation stinks. There are so many thoughts, emotions, words, ideas, prayers running through my mind and heart. Most importantly, through all the stink and rising above it, God has amazingly confirmed this journey for us... again. Praise Him on high!

Yesterday was a glorious day and a dark, lonely day all at the same time. It was glorious and joyful because we met our two youngest sons and realized the incredible gifts they are to us. It was a tough day because we experienced the lies, deceit, discouragement and ugliness of the enemy like never before.

The anticipation of waiting for our first meeting with the boys took so much physical and mental energy. Add that to being exhausted from flying and being sleep deprived and you end up with two very volatile and impressionable souls. Yes, I mean me and Paul! We were already tapped when we snuggled our little guys for the first time. AND THEN... All youthful mischief, energy, curiosity, excitement, and spunk poured out of our baby boy! He is truly a wild child! I say this with overflowing love and amazement at the spirit our youngest displays! Understand, however, that the reality we faced included a deeper knowledge of how our lives and family are changing... forever.

Visiting hours at the foster home are from 10 to 12 and again from 3 to 5. Sunday morning, following approximately 20 hours in flight and 4 or so hours of sleep in an unfamiliar country, I spent two hours literally chasing my four year old around as he climbed on every piece of furniture in sight, nearly pulled two sets of shelving down on top of himself and others, threw toys and other items around the small room, and brought the excited, confused, hysterically funny little boy to life - in rare form - right in front of Mommy's and Daddy's eyes! Wow. Did we say we were prepared for all of this?

God has already given us some vision about our two newest sons. Our agency is wonderful and they send us updates weekly with pictures of our children. As we gazed at our two pumpkins each week, we felt we were getting a picture of their personalities; "who" they are, and that God was truly preparing us for our boys. In our oldest of the two we saw a gentle, nurturing, compassionate little one who reminded us a lot of his big brother, Tyler. In our four-year-old, we saw mischief in those big, brown, beautiful eyes! We said out loud, "This little guy is going to give us a run for our money!" God was getting our hearts and our home ready for our boys!

So, why was the day laced with doom and gloom? Because the enemy was busy at work planting lies and accusations in our hearts and minds. Yuck. He is the prince of lies and he kept saying things to us like, "You're too old to start this all over again. You can't handle it. You'll never be able to communicate with these boys OR discipline them. Why should you give up your peaceful times alone? Your time with your two oldest children? Your date nights? Your ministry needs? Your coffee dates with friends? Your... (fill in the blank)!" Ugh.

A dark, thick cloud of concern and doubt crept over me. Until I realized just what in this world was going on. As I prayed and sought the Lord desperately, I began to ask Him if I had misunderstood this calling. I began to ask Him I had been disobedient, and if so, that He would shed light and let us know which way to turn. Should we go to the right or to the left? I reached out to close friends and family and asked for prayer; feeling that we needed our brothers and sisters to intercede and surround us with love. In the middle of the night, Paul and I woke up at the same time to the realization of what was going on. Satan was trying to snag our boys from us, and from Jesus! What a wicked creature. But God is bigger and better, and sovereign. He again spoke to us about His plans for our family. And it is always His plans that reign supreme.

A peace that truthfully surpasses any understanding washed over us. We received a profound email from our daughter and felt completely "schooled" in faith. We prayed and agreed that we loved our sons. They were coming home with us and no matter what challenges we face, we won't be alone. The answer was simple. Don't turn to the right OR the left! Stay on the straight and narrow path I have laid for you, and I will be with you. Aaahhhh... the peace of God and His promises.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013 - COURT DAY!

This is it. We've been reminded several times that this adoption is "irrevocable". No returns. No exchanges. Done deal! Well, let's get to it, already! :-)

What an amazing day. We saw our boys in the morning during visiting hours. We came back to the guest home for lunch, but for one reason or another, it's been difficult to eat a complete meal (all of which are amazingly delicious, generous, and prepared with much love!). Today, the reason was, we just wanted to get in front of that judge and say "YES!".

Eshetu, our precious driver and new friend, took the Bonds and us to the courthouse right after lunch, as our appointment was at 1:30. Ranell and I were pretty giddy heading over. There is something about "going to court" that encourages butterflies in the tummy. The room itself was pretty sterile and it filled quickly with many couples waiting for their "yes" moment in front of the judge. Our nervousness was loudly apparent as we made quirky comments and asked questions that we really should've known the answers to, such as, what orphanage our children came from. Eshetu laughed til the tears flowed when Paul said, "Should we know?" It's a good thing the question came up because that is how we are called in to see the judge; by our children's orphanage names! Aiyaiyai!

As promised, we were one of the first couples (the third) to enter the small room where the beautiful, young judge sat behind her desk, heaped with files and papers. Her voice was calm and peaceful and her smile genuine and kind. When she asked us if we enjoyed our time with the boys we answered with an imperative yes and she looked down on the papers on her desk; our file a mile thick spread out before her. Then she said, with a beaming smile on her face how delightful and fun they look in their pictures! I thought to myself, why, Yes. They already radiate the joy of the Lord!

Then it was done. It was finished. It was accomplished. The boys were legally declared ours! Hallelujah! God has done great things for us! How profound it was as we went straight to the foster home to tell our two youngest children they were officially Gregersens! I ponder now the words of Mary, the mother of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ...

"My soul magnifies Adonai,
and my spirit rejoices in God, my Savior,
Indeed His name is holy, and in
every generation
He has mercy on those who fear Him."
Luke 1:46,47,50

Loving that we shared this precious time with two special families; now special friends - Jeff and Liza Ford & David and Ranell Bond. Love you guys forever!

Worth it All

2013-06-08T14:11:00.001-07:00

The sun making it's glorious appearance as we headed to Phoenix Sky Harbor this morning.

Friday, June 7, 2013

We're on a plane! I've said this before and I'll say it again. The simple fact that I'm "OK" getting on a plane is a miracle itself! If this were about me and my desires, I would have to find a way to do adoption without flying across the world. But this adoption isn't about me or Paul or anyone other than God. It's ALL about Him and His heart and His purpose. And geez has He stirred up my heart in the process!

A precious friend of mine texted this to me as we waited at check in for our first flight...

From of old no one has heard
or perceived by the ear.
No eye has seen a God besides You
who acts for those who wait for Him.
You meet him who joyfully works righteousness,
those who remember You
in Your ways.
Isaiah 64:4,5

Saturday, June 8, 2013

We just boarded the last of three flights and now feeling anxious - in a good way - to arrive in Addis and be closer to seeing our boys. This is all very surreal... and very God. I've had every opportunity to remember my faith and God's faithfulness to His children. Get this. Since boarding in Phoenix we've experienced...
1. Three planes; not one or even two, but THREE with what I would call "cause for concern". The first two planes had internal power source failure and the third had push drive mechanical failure. Three for three! Really?!?! All this when I haven't flown in 18 years and have been praying desperately for God to give me peace and comfort. He truly did. I guess He figured I may as well test it out!
2. A significant delay leaving Phoenix with our shortest connection time ahead of us in Atlanta.
3. MUCH turbulence (we flew over Oklahoma City, just to give you an idea) on the flight from PHX to ATL.
4. What felt like 3 miles of walking in circles at the Frankfurt airport.
5. The wrong gate assignment on our boarding passes in Frankfurt.
6. Not to mention NO Wifi at the FRA airport!

Nothing like up close and personal!

Flying over Frankfurt

Soon we'll be in the beautiful country of Ethiopia - after another 6 hours in the air. God is good! Even through all this, we feel His peace and guidance.

Still Saturday...

I found myself in tears as Desfayu drove us from the Addis Ababa airport to the guest home we're staying in. I'm in awe... completely. God brought us safely to the other side of the world and in less than 12 hours we will be with our two youngest children! Incredible!

I'm feeling so many different things; desperately missing my kiddos at home, beyond thrilled to meet our two youngest, out of place in a country so far and different from our own, filled with awe about God and His plans...

So, I'm officially and thoroughly overwhelmed. It's 11:23 p.m. here in Addis. I'm exhausted but don't want to go to sleep in case we "miss" something. Nope! Don't wanna miss a thing!

Faith of a Child...

2013-05-14T15:18:00.001-07:00

Rhyan's sweet friend, Gabrielle wrote this poem.

She is 13, and as you can see, is a very gifted writer.

What a blessing to know our children are surrounded by godly, precious friends.

I'm in awe of how many hearts God is preparing to receive our boys.

These words brought me to tears...

Better is one day in His courts...

2013-05-07T11:36:00.001-07:00

This was the first picture we saw of the boys.
Can't wait 'til we can show you their beautiful eyes and smiles!

We were informed that "Family Court" for our boys has been scheduled for May 22nd. This is when any living relatives would appear before a judge to verify the relinquishment/abandonment of the boys. Now, this is all still a learning experience for us, but as far as I know, this date would not be scheduled if we were facing serious roadblocks. Of course, all legal technicalities must be carried out.

Things are VERY different in Africa, and record keeping there is not at all what it is here. It's not atypical to see a handwritten note taped to a concrete wall announcing court dates, postponements, etc. Email? Stamped and authenticated? Sure... You can ask a village mom when her baby was born and you'd be lucky with a thoughtful answer of, "When the rains came." Huh? Then remember that we aren't even following the same calendar. Sheesh. If we know anything about our boys' history and biological family, it'll be amazing. What we do know and believe is that they are our children through God's work and will. We're super-excited to be part of their story now!

Our coordinator told me that typically the adoptive parents are scheduled for court around a month after family court. That means we are preparing to travel sometime around late June. :) We will appear in court and legally adopt our boys! Then, we'll have to come home without them :( and wait for their passports and visas to be complete so we can clear Embassy. Then we'll get to bring them home! Alleluia!

Please pray that family court goes smoothly and that our court date is scheduled as expected. Also, pray that God will continue to provide the funds, favor, patience, and encouragement He has heaped upon us already! I'm reminded, Better is one day in His courts than thousands elsewhere. Psalm 84:10

It's all so surreal. To be excited for a transatlantic flight - actually four of those doozies... That is God and only God! All for His glory. Can't wait to see my babies!

Love,

Patty

2013-04-25T17:11:00.000-07:00

Here is where the world of adoption has taken us. I have a friend in Homeland Security!

We are STILL waiting for a court date in ET. Sigh... How long, Lord? Yes, I know. As long as You say. Your plans are perfect.

So, now we find ourselves more than two years into the process of adoption and we have important papers ready to expire. We need an updated home study. Oh, yeah. Again. $400. We need an updated I171H. United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) must have on file a "provisional approval" to file an I600A. The I171H is the provisional approval which gets filed so the I600A - orphan petition - can be approved and filed. I just thought you might want a glimpse into what all this paperwork is. Thank you Ms. "J" at the National Benefits Center of Homeland Security! You saved the day when you told me I can scan our papers straight to you! We have to be fingerprinted and processed by May 28 and I realized that the end of May is just a month away.

Time seems to crawl when you are separated from your children.

We are asking for continued prayers:

That our boys are nourished, nurtured, and protected while they wait. They have seen pictures of us and know that we are waiting to bring them home.

That we remain patient and continue to trust in God who has this all worked out already - in His perfect timing.

That we aren't discouraged or beat down by questions, doubts, negativity, costs, etc.

That God's favor is on our paperwork and requests for updates and appointments.

At the end of the day, not a moment has gone by that I'm not extremely humbled, grateful, and giddy-excited about how God is growing our family and what He is teaching us about orphans and adoption. This is an adventure, and sometimes difficult and chaotic journey. I can honestly say it's the best "thing" God has done in and for us! Not just the adoption of our boys. I'm talking about His adoption of US! Yes. Adoption ROCKS.

Easter... New Life, New Sons!

2013-04-02T15:32:00.000-07:00

Aaaahhhh... The colors of Spring. The colors of Easter! I LOVE Easter. I love the vibrant colors and the refreshing outdoor breeze of the season, and the time with family and friends in celebration. Most of all, I love what we celebrate. We remember Christ on the cross and Christ absent from the tomb and alive once again! His body made new and perfect as He takes His rightful place at the right hand of the Father. Alleluia! I love that all the pain, sorrow, agony, and darkness of the torture, spilled blood, and excruciating death Jesus experienced for us is not what we're left with as we break bread together on Easter Sunday; but fervently we remember with joy His resurrection and the new life He gave us. It's this gift of new life I like to set my mind and heart on, especially when I want to break down in sobs when I think of Yeshuah's sacrifice. The price has been paid! We are debt free and will make it home to our Father with a new body and a new, eternal life!

One of the more beautiful displays of color during the holiday is beheld in the rainbows of eggs dyed and decorated by young and "mature" alike. :) I know some Christians choose not to do the whole egg-dye thing, but we do, and we still like to display them, too. Historically, eggs have been seen as a symbol of winter passing and spring and life reemerging from what seemed to be death. In Jewish tradition, hardboiled eggs are eaten when mourning the death of a loved one. They are served during Passover as the Jewish people mourn the destruction of their Temple where Passover lambs were sacrificed. In our home and on our plates, a hard boiled egg serves as a reminder of the Lamb of God, sacrificed for our sins, defeating death forever and bringing new life.

It can't be mere coincidence that we received an email last night (the day after Easter Sunday) that we will be submitted to court in Ethiopia next week! We are closer to bringing two new lives into our home! So, we should know within the next three weeks when we'll be traveling to appear in court and meet our boys. Sigh... We are continuing to celebrate the truth and joy of Easter. Christ died and rose again for each of us and God wants all to know this. He has chosen our boys, and our family, for a new life. This is what He does for those who walk in faith and know truly who He is.

Do these little hands have any idea that God has been holding them since He was forming them in their mother's womb? Now I get to be Mom to them, and hold their hands, and bandage their scraped knees, sing to them at bedtime, wipe their tears, teach them English, and help them dye eggs next Easter. We get to tell them about the sacrifice Jesus made for them and how much He loves them!

2013-03-30T00:53:00.001-07:00

What's next? That's the thought; sometimes the words we speak as we move about our daily routine and monotony. Why do we ask what tomorrow brings? Why do we try to predict where we'll be in the next week, or month, or year? Human nature, I suppose. Yucky - human nature. We need the nature of Christ, not that of the flesh. Me thinks...the only "next" we should be pondering is eternity. Yes?

But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you,not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed.
                                                                                        2 Peter: 8-9

We want tomorrow to come so quickly that we forget about the good things that God has for us today! We can make so much more out of each moment of each day if we just stop to think about the eternal impact each moment can make. That was a mouthful. Think about it, though. If I am still and intentionally stand in the presence of God each day I will receive the best of what He has for me, and the best is Him. His heart. His desires. His will. In the end, and the end will come, that which truly matters is what Jesus did for us. Do we overlook the love displayed on the cross and the blood spilled for our sins? Or do we kneel at the cross and gaze at our Savior; spending time with Him so we can know who He is... and what He has for us?

In those daily moments I imagine the thought of tomorrow, or next week, or next year can become fleeting, and the anticipation and joy of eternity with this King I've been spending time with... it makes me see time as a precious gift to use within the will of God - to get to know Him better, and to serve Him and our loved ones with the gospel. Each and every day becomes like one thousand years of loving, serving, learning, praying, worshiping, teaching. Being with and being like Jesus for just today is the same as one thousand years in the eyes of God. And what is one thousand years to Him? In terms of "earthly time" it's a blink of His eye. Here today. Gone tomorrow. That's why we can't take for granted what is here today, because it will be gone tomorrow. Yet, one thousand years in the sand of God's hourglass was purchased for each of us by His Son on the cross.

Before He was arrested, Jesus told His disciples that He would have to leave them and that where He was going they couldn't follow; not yet. Then He willingly suffered the most heinous, excruciating torture and as He yielded His spirit to His Father He said, "It is finished." Done. Finito. The end. We don't have to worry about what comes next. NEXT includes whatever God has for us. It might be a successful, prosperous life with few challenges, but maybe not. Maybe what comes next is illness, poverty, hunger, death. If we are in Christ and He is in us, each day is still a gift. We can show one thousand years worth of love to those around us, and tell at least one more person about Jesus each day.

I thought I might have at least hugged and kissed my African sons by this Easter, but we haven't made it there yet. Some days it feels like we'll be waiting one thousand years before we get a court date! :-) That is our "next" and it will happen, and I'm pretty sure it won't take one thousand years. In the meantime, I'm living for Christ each day trying to love and serve my family, appreciating and praying for each friend, hoping for someone to share the gospel with, and finding myself on my face in repentance knowing I was the reason - the culprit - that nailed Jesus to a cross. This Easter I thank God again for His redemption and for the gift of eternity in heaven; my ultimate NEXT. I'm amazed at how patient and longsuffering He is with me!

For a day in your courts is better
    than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
    than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
    the Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
    from those who walk uprightly.
O Lord of hosts,
    blessed is the one who trusts in you!
                                             Psalm 84:10-12

What are YOU waiting for?

2013-02-24T23:00:00.000-08:00

I know what I'm waiting for! I want my boys home! Sheesh. Rhyan says she "misses" her brothers in Ethiopia, like she's known them all her life. Well, maybe she has. Sometimes I feel like I have. Even so, I can't wait to study their little faces, hear their voices for the first time, find out which hand they like to hold their fork in, take pictures of them playing baseball with Ty and sitting on the couch while their sister reads to them. Sniff, sniff... I am waiting...

Isn't this exactly what God asks us to do? I mean, since the dawn of time as we know it, He has told His children to wait. Wait Noah! I will send the rain. Wait Abraham! I will make you a father of nations. Wait Moses! I will deliver my people through you. Wait David! You will be King of the Israelites. Wait Elizabeth! You will have a son and he will baptize My Son, in My name. Oh yes, and - Wait Son! Your time to serve and teach my people will come, and then you will die for them. Whoa.

You will die... Have you ever thought about that wait? Hhhhmmm... What did that feel like? Ouch. Here's the thing. I find myself almost being ashamed of any kind of "complaining" or "anxiety" over this wait for a court date and our Gotcha Day. (That refers to the day we "get" our boys forever. :-)) It's going to happen. God has made promises all throughout history and I trust that when we line up with His will and plans, He continues to deliver. The wait that I sit in now is a joyful, expectant wait. I get giddy knowing that we are adding LIFE to our family. Just like a pregnant woman knows that child in her womb before she sees what color each strand of hair on his head is, I know my boys and eagerly await the precious gift of tangibly loving them as sons.

You will die... Really. My week started out rough as I learned that it might be another month before we receive a court date in Ethiopia. Boo. But my lament was put to shame when a childhood friend passed on Wednesday morning; a victim of an evil disease. Let me add that he was younger than me, father of two boys, husband of a best friend from junior high, and just a really great guy. Ugh. Pain. My heart breaks for all his loved ones. My heart breaks thinking of their wait. They didn't wait for life to start anew. They didn't wait knowing that joy would invade their home in a few short months. When the diagnosis came, they waited in anticipation of loss. They prayed and hoped for a cure, but ALS is unforgiving and we live in a world broken and damaged by sin. The truth hurts and the disease took Gary way before what we think his time should've been. How can I come to grips with that? How can I make sense out of the wait that was necessary on the part of all of Gary's loved ones? I can only rest on the knowledge that waiting is what God calls all of us to do, because He has something good waiting for all of us who love Him and are called to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) He knows the plans He has for us, even when all we see is the pain and the loss. How can He ask this of us? Because He experienced it Himself FOR us, through His Son.

You will die... What did that wait feel like to Jesus? Well, we know a couple things. We know that Jesus chose to spend his last hours on this earth with his loved ones. He broke bread with them, drank wine with them, and celebrated the time they had left together. Matthew the disciple also tells us that they sung a hymn before they went out to the Mount of Olives. (26:30) They sung to God - led by Jesus is my guess, as He waited to be executed! While Jesus waited for His impending death He felt and experienced all that any other human would feel being diagnosed with mortal finality. Yet, He praised His Father and worshiped Him in song. He seized life and He loved without fail. He didn't try to change the inevitable. He didn't question His Father. He simply waited.

We know Jesus was scared and filled with sorrow. The gospels tell us that He voiced His sorrow to His disciples. He said, "My soul is exceedingly sorrowful..." (Matthew 26:38) Then He went a little farther and fell on His face and prayed, saying, "O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will." Matthew 26:39 Jesus waited in agony for His flesh to be destroyed. He cried out to God in His sorrow, yet He submitted in obedience. He prayed not simply for His life to be spared. He prayed for God's will to be done. And I believe He asked His Father to give Him strength and perseverance to endure what needed to happen knowing that the end result was so worth it all! This is LOVE fellow Christians. This is knowing how to wait on God.

Be still and wait. How are we still when waiting on God? We take each day for what it is and what it brings us. We cherish the moments with loved ones and celebrate life with them. We live in mercy, practicing forgiveness and grace; knowing that which flows from us also returns to us. We pray and spend time with God sharing our thoughts, feelings, desires, fears. Laying it all down and listening for His still small voice - or earth-shaking revelations. I learned even further what it means to be still and wait this week. I learned that we are all waiting for God to move in our lives and we need to see the goodness of what is on the other side of the wait. For some it's bittersweet. The goodness may be the promise of eternal rest from pain and suffering, and the bliss of heaven with Jesus. There is sorrow in that waiting as our human hearts break at the expectation of loss. We grieve at the close of these waiting periods, BUT I pray that the grief passes into a promise fulfilled of something beautiful. A gift from God who rewards our waiting when done in faith.

For others, the wait is one that has us on pins and needles knowing that a new chapter of life that isn't entirely about loss is upon us. The waiting time must be a season of rest but also of preparation. I've come to understand there actually is a loss to prepare for in our family. It's a loss of what we know; how we do things. The old will be gone and the new will be here, and we'll have to learn how to do life and family differently. Is it amazing and joyful and miraculous? YES! Will it be easy? My guess is, no. There will be difficult days and new challenges. Yet, the reward and goodness of what comes after the passing - the death of our old family and the birth of our new family - is priceless.

Jesus waited for his death on the cross to come to fruition. There was pain and suffering. His family waited and mourned. Can you imagine what His mother felt, knowing her son would be put to death an innocent man? Huge ouch. I know a mom who experienced that same emotion and pain. God bless and strengthen you, Kathy Demarino. What we all need to see is what the purpose of our waiting really is. In the end, it's really about God's love and grace for His children. His plan for His Son to be crucified was all about His rescue mission for us! When we are waiting on God, whether we are waiting on something joyful or something tragic, let's be still, listen for God, and know He has something so good on the other side He's just waiting to do for us.

Worshiping in the waiting,
Patty

Our Dossier is Sent!

2013-01-24T22:20:00.002-08:00

Here I am, post-flu, or whatever ick was invading our home and my immune system. It feels good to walk without a pounding headache. I even had a couple nights cough-free. I tell ya, this is some serious nastiness; this junk that's going around this year. I hadn't been sick in about 6 years. Truly. I think maybe I got a bit too sure that I wasn't ever going to be sick again. Yeah... not so much.

So, the cloud of fever and congestion has passed, and Paul and I were able to notarize all the letters, forms, certificates, and picture pages for our new dossier. I drove downtown to the Secretary of State yesterday to have everything certified. Both times I've been there, God has placed His hand of favor over me and our adoption. I walked right in and straight to the "next available" woman behind the counter. (I have to mention that when I finished, there was a line out the door.) This very nice lady took all my papers and checked each one carefully. I saw her place each page in a pile as she reviewed, and then one page was placed ON THE OTHER SIDE. Huh? I just waited to see what that meant and hoped with all my strength that it didn't mean what I thought it meant. Sure enough, she said she could certify all but that one page! The notary wasn't completed in the correct format, she pointed out. I couldn't argue with her, because she was right. All I could do was kick myself for not checking more carefully! I knew exactly what she was talking about, and if I had been more careful I would've caught the mistake. I had to accept the fact that my mistake was going to cause me another trip to the bank and back to SOS - about 40 miles from home. Ugh. Not only that, but it would delay having it sent to our agency before the week was over.

As I waited for the nice lady to print, staple and stamp each document, I attempted to arrange a meeting the following day to "fix" the incorrectly notarized letter. I didn't ask for any special favors, or even try to justify special circumstances, but before I wrote the check for the fees, the nice lady said, "I'll go ahead and certify that other one for you, but make sure you take it back and have the notary sign it on the stamp I place by her first signature." You know when your name is called for an award, or you hear a winning number being read out loud and you realize it matches the one on the ticket you have in your hand? You know how that feels? Aha. That was me! I said, "What? Really?" She smiled and said, "Sure." I thought I was going to pop a blood vessel! I was so excited and SO grateful to God for His favor. He never ceases to amaze me. You are so good to me, Lord!
Here it is... our dossier. All 27 documents, notarized and state certified.

I took the whole thing to Staples today. I needed two copies of the entire packet, and a guy at Staples made copies of our first dossier for us, no problem. He hand placed each one on the machine and did it all while I waited. Well, today was an enirely different story. I asked the girl there if she could make these copies for me, right? She said she had a pile of orders to deal with and it would be at least 4 or 5 hours before she could get it done. I told her I had to overnight everything out today and I hoped she could maybe get it done a bit faster than that. She said, "Well, I have these other orders before yours, and it will take me a while to take all the staples out and..." Uhm. Yeah. NO! I didn't hear another word she said. Are you kidding me?!? I told her you can't take the staples out. The papers are certified and that would simply nullify everything! Poor girl. How was she to know what I was talking about? She looked at me like I was some kind of paper nazi. Yeah, well, don't touch those staples, Girlie! That was all I could think of. Bless her relieved heart. I walked right out of there, mumbling protective words over my beloved dossier.

Needless to say, I spent... a while making copies today. I even had to run out to purchase another ink cartridge. It was worth the sore knees, careful sorting, page-by-page copying, and 126 or so pieces of paper, to have it all done properly. Our dossier is on it's way to our agency who will shoot it to Washington D.C. and then it will go to Ethiopia. God willing, we'll have a court date within the next two weeks or so. Can't be soon enough in my opinion!

We receive updates with pictures of our boys pretty much weekly. I can't wait to wrap my arms around each of them, and tell them that their mommy is here, and tell them how much I love them. Paul and I have no doubt that these are our sons. It's so amazing and great how God really does put that love in your heart for the ones He places in your life!

Sharing Pieces of a Huge Story...

2012-12-31T15:12:00.002-08:00

Please pray for: the Snow Family (see below), the "B" Family (keep reading), the "G" Family, still waiting for the powers to be in an African country to release their two children in the adoption process; the "V" Family, waiting for a referral and knowing that God has a special little boy planned for them; the "P" Family pushing forward against bureaucratic obstacles in their adoption journey; the "K" Family, holding on to hope that God will soften hearts in Russia and make the way for the little boy to come home soon...
And pray for people who continue to argue that Americans should just adopt American children. Can you imagine if God said that he would only adopt Jews? What if He said that His Son's death wasn't good enough to set Gentiles free? That only the Israelites would be saved. What if God said that He was a God of one nation only? Jesus died as a ransom for all. He came to set ALL sinners free! That's you and me, peeps, regardless of nationality, culture, heritage, ethnicity, language, race... I'm a child of God, adopted into His eternal family. Thank You, Lord that You love me...just because You LOVE. Thank You that all Your children deserve love and families. I don't know why you chose us to adopt African children, but then again, I don't know why you chose my home to be in America. I know that you have chosen families to adopt American children, too. Thank you for the Zoccolis, Clardys, Castellanos, Browns, and many, many more! Only You know what the purpose for each of our lives is - for Your kingdom, and all I can do is listen and follow.
I just read a post on our friend's blog - The Snow Bunch. http://mel-snow.blogspot.com/ Geez, this adoption stuff is really tough. It's a roller coaster ride, and we all need to hang on tight so as not to be thrown out or get sick to our stomachs during the ride. Melissa and Brian have been through all of this and are buckling up for more! Bless them, Lord, as they forge a path ahead of us. Their girls are preparing to celebrate Christmas with our boys. This somewhat selfish mommy is grateful my little boys will have good friends with them for a short while longer. But, God speed the Snow Girls home in your gracious timing and love!
In the same breath, I pray God speed our boys home, too. We received our dossier safe and sound on Christmas Eve! Woohoooo! Now we receive direction from our agency as to which papers are still good, and which ones need renewal, update, etc. We hope to have all international papers in place by the middle of January. Then we wait and pray for a court date, sooner rather than later. In the meantime, we still pray also for God's guidance with fundraising. Each time I have applied for grants, or attempted to apply for grants, there has been some type of roadblock we've had to face. We were declined by one, completely brushed off after several emails by another organization, unable to complete two other online applications due to computer or internet issues, and don't qualify for about half-a-dozen more I've come across through searches and research. Gggrrrrr. My analysis: God does not have a grant in the near future for us. At least not one of these! I trust in Him and His provision completely and wait for Him to speak to us regarding the next method of raising the funds needed to bring our boys home. I LOVE how He has touched the hearts of so many people through our boys and their journey home.
I want to share one story that came out of our Two Week Timeline and Testimony of God's goodness. I had prayed several times to the Lord, basically crying out to Him that I am such a wimp and that I really needed a Gideon moment. I really needed that fleece - that tangible, "This is Me!" moment from God. (Judges 6:36-40) I asked Him to please speak through Paul; that He would confirm His will and direction through words from my sweet husband. After all, this really had to be led by Paul. This is his family as much as mine, and his heart had to be completely invested in this as much if not more than mine. Well, God delivered, as usual. Twice, He spoke through Paul. Once was very immediate when I asked God to confirm my "Yes" through Paul's direction, and Paul within 24 hours said, "I think these are the children we're supposed to adopt." The next time came through a "this could only be the Holy Spirit" event. My very private and humble better-half wrote a letter. It was written from his heart and his own desire to bring our boys home. He wrote a letter to Todd Wilson, AKA The Family Man. http://familymanweb.com/ Mr. Wilson is well-known in the homeschooling community. He travels to conventions all over the country, speaking to thousands of homeschool families everywhere. He has also written several books, has a great business and website, and publishes an email newsletter received by countless homes throughout the country. And my Paul wrote him a letter regarding our desire to adopt the boys and the needs involved! Say what? Yup. He did it. I didn't even know he had done this until one evening, actually, late night, we were both checking our emails and I was preparing an adoption update on our FB account. I heard Paul say, "He put it in his newsletter." The words were quiet, but the emotion behind the words...well... let's just say I knew it meant something big. There it was, big as life, Paul's letter in Todd Wilson's newsletter! Amazing! That could only be God, and through this God-move, we received support and prayers from the other side of the country. East meets west! Again - Amazing! Not only did God touch Mr. Wilson's heart somehow, to encourage him to send Paul's letter to all of his subscribers, but God touched other families who were waiting for direction from Him in terms of His plans for our little boys. Those families probably had no idea this was destined to happen, just like we didn't know during our Thanksgiving meal this year that we would be introduced to our boys before Christmas. However, I want to share at least one story of a family who was specifically meant to read that letter.
The "B" family in another state far from us sent me an email after reading the letter. Mrs. B asked that I call her so that we could talk, as she had some questions about our adoption. I now have another sister far from Arizona whose heart is burdened for adoption and orphans as mine is! The B family had been in deep prayer mode for a while, not hearing clearly whether they were meant to adopt a little boy ("Little X") from China. He has special needs and more than anything needs a family. He needs a mom and dad, but Mrs. B and even more so, her husband, were not convinced that this was exactly what God had for them in terms of adoption. When they read the letter that Paul wrote, they were immediately tugged. She said that right away she thought that maybe this is how God wanted them to "adopt" - by supporting other families in need of funding. Whoa there, Lord. You continue to rock my world! How is it that two women on opposite ends of a continent, can be brought together for the purpose of giving orphans a home? Only by Your hands, God! Only You. As this new friend of mine and I prepared to close our phone conversation, we committed to praying for each other; that God would make all His plans clear and evident to both families, and that He would provide for all orphans and families. Before we hung up, my new friend shared this with me. She said that she and her husband were in the car driving just the night before our conversation and they were talking about their continued desire to help our boys. They couldn't get our family out of their minds and felt that it really was God prompting them. Right at that moment, they looked up and saw two shooting stars. She said, "Look! There are the boys!" Then, she knew she had seen another confirmation from God that He wanted them to help bring our boys home.
Do you see what I mean? Our boys' story is so not about me, or my heart's desire, or my will, or my strength. It's completely about God's heart and those of us who hear Him stepping out in obedience. Jeepers! God continues to perform miracles every day! Thank you, Lord, for the "B" family. Thank you for writing a story through two, beautiful, Ethiopian children! I have no doubts that You have great plans for them. How honored and privileged we are to simply be part of the story.

Christmas Gifts

2012-12-28T12:31:00.001-08:00

Another Christmas come and gone... but not really gone. Christmas for us is a time that remains in our home and hearts as the Holy Spirit reveals Himself to our family each day. We awake every morning with the knowledge that Jesus came to earth as a humble infant, completely dependent on His Father God for all things. Much like us, yes?! What a glorious gift; JESUS! God made man. Stepping down into darkness bringing light into this crazy world!
We absolutely LOVE Christmas and the joy of celebrating our Savior's birth!

Yet - the darkness still eminates from the regions of the earth where Jesus is not allowed to enter the hearts of man...

I can't help but be filled with sorrow as I think of the inexplicable tragedy of the ban on American families adopting from Russia. Hundreds of thousands of children are institutionalized there, in orphanages that lack proper or any sources of heat in the winter, cooling in the summer, water to drink, food to nourish growing bodies, and medicine to bring comfort and health. Worst yet, the lack of loving care is evident in the absence of emotion and even physical strength in these precious children. What happens now to the families who have children in Russia still? What happens to those sweet babies? My heart breaks. Please pray with me for these families and children, and for the hearts of those in Russia who can make a difference and change this awful, political move.

Christmas remains true, no matter what others want to believe, or try to disprove. Jesus came to this world to set us free. He is our Redeemer and He has already been victorious. We reflect on this reality as we think of Christmas in other areas of the world. Russia. Vietnam. Romania. Africa. Our little boys will celebrate Christmas in Ethiopia on January 7th. They may have only one gift this year, besides the gift of Jesus. We are so thrilled that the one other gift is the knowledge that they have a family waiting to take them in and smother them with love and God's truth!!! May the waiting be short-lived, Lord, and may Your will continue to be done here on earth as in heaven. Your Kingdom come!

In His Loving Grip,
Patty

We Give Thanks

2012-12-20T19:41:00.001-08:00

We give thanks for Christmas. We celebrate the birth of our Savior who came to set us, wretches and captives, free. We sing our praises to Him and offer all we have and all we are to Jesus, our Redeemer and Friend. Thank you for making a way for us to be adopted into your Father's family and making us sons and daughters of the King.

We give thanks for earthly adoption. As the greater Body, we need God to direct us and guide us, imparting heavenly wisdom to each so that we may know how to come along side Him to support orphans and families called to give orphans forever families. We thank you, Lord, that in this crazy world of international adoption, You are sovereign, and You are mighty to save.

We give thanks for those who hear and heed the voice of God. It's not always audible. In fact, my guess is we rarely "hear" the voice of God, but our minds and our hearts hear Him clearly when we listen in faith...and when He speaks to our souls. I can tell you I have clearly heard God, and I can tell you that it isn't because I'm anyone special or "holier" than the next. He simply had a job for me to do, so He told me to do it.

There are people saying, "What you are doing is so great." Well, great or not, it isn't what I'm doing. It's what God is doing with me, in me, through me, and for me. It's what He needs to do for our Ethiopian sons. He has a purpose for bringing them to the United States and to our family. This is the way things are supposed to be, and though I can tell you that I love those boys with the true love of a Mama's heart, I can tell you in the same breath that they aren't coming home just because of my love or my desire for more children. Really, I didn't wake up one day in my 40's and say, "Wow! I feel like I can start all over with this parenting stuff, and homeschool as many children as I can, and keep up with the sleepless nights, and the vomiting little ones who get the flu every year, and the additional college funds, and the half-dozen more years of braces and retainers. Yeah! I'm ready to go, God! And, by the way, let's make this process really lengthy, really heart-wrenching, really humbling, and really expensive! Woooooo!!! I'm ready, God! Get to it!!" Really? This is hard stuff! It makes no sense, unless you know that it is God and that He will supply all you need and more. That's just who He is. He's a very faithful and generous Daddy! To be disobedient and not follow His lead in faith is just... well. It's just not an option.

We give thanks for the families and individuals who have shared of their time, energy, resources, prayers, and hearts. There are so many of you! I need to list you all, but I'm afraid I might miss someone! If I do, please forgive me, and please know that we are forever in your debt.

To those of you who gave endlessly to make our spaghetti dinner and silent auction an amazing evening of fun and fellowship, including donating food, auction items, and SO much more, and those of you who held us up and supported us financially, spiritually, and emotionally during the Two-Week-Timeline ...
Mom and Dad Lopez, Michele and Kevin Hull, Bart and Dusti Powell and family, Mike and Alisa Zoccoli, Chris Panepinto, John and Debbie Hervey, Kevin and Kathy Lott, Mark and Jennifer Sequeira, Lindsey Ozmon, Angie Kennedy, Chad and Cary Kent, Carlos and Natalie Valiente, Kari and Ruben Moreno, Kirk Pieper, Liz Mews, John and Eli Milan, Lisa Moore, Burton Howell, Stephanie Howard, Christine Heaps, Jeff Wilson, Daniela Virani, Gloria Mendoza, Eva and Jim Cionci, Morgan and Elizabeth Blitz, James and Bethany Pattie, Adam Chandler, Mark and Donna Grady, Eric and Velvet Jones, Scott and Dona Barclay, Tyler and Jennifer Flake, Skip and Normandee Ballingham, Melanie Clardy, Phil and Angie Klein, Andrea McClees and family, Amanda and Robert Hasty, Chris and Karen McCarthy, Scott and Theresa Myers, Matt and Dee Brown, George Lee, Scott Voyda, Darin and Natalie Soll, Rachael Gephardt, Bill and Vickie Frazer, Scott and Lesa Hinkle, The Van Dusen Family, Dr. Shane Blacker (our ortho), The Brown Family in Virginia, Todd Wilson, The FamilyMan!, our church family at Evident Life, and so many other families who donated and supported us from the other side of the country :-) ...
Our Ethiopia Director at the agency - Randi Shetley, for your unending prayer and encouragement - and for knowing that this could be done!
Melissa and Brian Snow - The Snow Bunch, for loving on our boys as they play with your daughters in Ethiopia, and for praying alongside us! Praying that your girls are home SOON! Thank you for inspiring us through your story. :-) God moved your mountain first!
Sara and Jason Gyolai - You know exactly why! :)

Thank you, Jesus! Thank you for our little boys in Africa!

Praising Him!
Patty

When His People Pray...

2012-12-17T09:29:00.001-08:00

Well, I don't know where to start! First of all, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, for standing with us through these last two weeks. For lifting our family in prayer. For devoting so much time, energy, resources, and emotion into being part of bringing our little guys home. WE MADE IT! We are fully funded for our Tuesday deadline!!! Alleluia! We serve a big and mighty God, and when He is determined to carry out His plans, He doesn't let anything stand in His way. How humbled we are by your hearts and God's faithfulness. There are so many amazing stories to share - once I can take all my little notes and phrases out of my journal and put them into a narrative that makes sense! I will post on our blog within the next few days, and share pictures of the spaghetti dinner and hopefully some of the amazing events and people that touched us since December 3rd. (And before that, even.)

A dear friend said something very inspired and important to me at the spaghetti dinner. I was sitting in my own pride feeling really uncomfortable "receiving" all the amazing blessings being poured out and over our family. She pointed her finger at me and with tears in her eyes, she said, "Patty! You just need to get out of the way! This is about what God is doing and you can't interfere. This isn't about you." It is entirely about my Daddy God who adopted me into His eternal family and loves me. I love ALL my children passionately, but you know what? God loves them even more than that! I stand in awe and thankfulness to my Savior and Redeemer. Jesus, You have redeemed two more! Thank You, God, that they don't need us. All they need is You. And we are simply privileged and called to teach them and show them this truth...and love on them. :-) Amen!

Michele ready to prepare garlic bread!

So. Now what? Now we wire our funds to our agency. They will then let the boys know they officially have a family. Yay! Then we complete more paperwork and continue some fundraising efforts as we still have two round-trips to Ethiopia and monthly "foster" care to fund. We will keep everyone updated and I'll do my best to keep our blog current. There are silent auction items that were not purchased at the spaghetti dinner, so we will update that page on our blog and run the auction online for the rest of the items.

Chef Kirk's assistants, Rogan and Lindsey.

They volunteered their time and talents for our boys.

Please continue to pray with us, not only for the remaining funds, but for return, multiplied blessings on all who are supporting us, for Paul and I as partners and best friends to not be distracted and to keep our gaze firmly fixed on the Lord, and for our children. All four of them. :-)

Many people were concerned about our spaghetti dinner turnout because of all the rain. How crazy was that?! I mean, when is the last time it rained like that here in the Phoenix area? It's been a long while, but of course the rain came down on just that specific day. I have to share that I felt so much peace. I just knew that the rain was meant to be for a reason. I JUST NOW realized something. God has put me in Psalm 68 several times this week. Here is part of it...

The earth shook; the heavens also dropped rain at the presence of God; Sinai itself was moved at the presence of God, the God of Israel.

You, O God, sent a plentiful rain, whereby You confirmed Your inheritance,

When it was weary, Your congregation dwelt in it;

You, O God, provided from Your goodness for the poor.

Psalm 68: 8-10

The rain fell, and cleared, and yesterday our precious pastor and leadership (amazing friends) were able to tell us that the mountain had been moved and the rain confirmed His presence and provision.

With so much joy, love, and peace,

Paul and Patty

Our beautiful Rhyan rolling the bread to the ovens.

FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

2012-12-07T22:53:00.001-08:00

"Why not just adopt from here?" Why Africa?" "Isn't that way expensive?" "Aren't those kids just being used?" "If you don't have the money, why are you doing this?"...
Questions, doubts, fears, misconceptions.

Answers... The best I can give, anyway.

Because God made it clear that our children are in Africa. If you read how our adoption journey began, you'll get a better feel for "why Africa".

YES. It's way expensive. No matter where you adopt from it's expensive, unless you adopt through the state. And that, my friends, is a lofty calling as well. In that case, be prepared to possibly have children leave your home if they aren't severed from their biological parents. And be prepared to endure what can sometimes be a very lengthy and emotionally taxing time while the courts and powers-to-be decide the fate of "your" child or children. You may also need to be prepared for disabilities and struggles that come with children who have been exposed to many ugly things - in and out of the womb. That is a precious calling and one that tender hearts may break from, but one we admire and are inspired by. Of course, our boys are in a country where malnutrition, poverty, and disease run rampant. I can't wait to bring them home!

Trust me when I say that I don't think anyone in their own strength can say yes to this mission without the love of Christ and His redeeming grace in their own lives. Who can really understand adoption if they haven't been adopted into God's family? So, the price may not be seen in a multitude of fees, but there is still a cost. (Read the blog post at this link in regards to cost! http://louxfamilyblog.com/2009/09/a-great-reminder-of-gods-goodness/) FYI - Keep a tissue box nearby. Seriously. Just do it.

All adoption - from here or there - is God's work. Believe me, Paul and I prayed and prayed about that one. Why God, do you have us going to Africa? For real? We don't have the money, so maybe we're not supposed to do this. What did we hear from Him? He said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life...and I don't make mistakes. This is what you are called to. Just be obedient. Say "Yes" and see what I do. This work is up to Me!"

Are the orphans just being used? Well, maybe in a way they are being used, if you want to call it that, by God. Used to bring more love and joy to homes and families that can ever be imagined. Used to grow the Kingdom of God through spirit-filled parents who raise these kiddos to know Jesus as their personal Savior and King. Used to show the world the truth of His word; that He loves the poor and oppressed. That He sets the lonely in families. That He wants us to partner with Him in His redemptive work.

I don't ever have all the answers, and I'm sure there are those who won't agree with my answers, but Paul and I are filled with peace and joy and expectation, knowing that these answers are all we need.

2012-12-03T22:47:00.000-08:00

We Have a Deadline!!!!!

2012-12-03T22:30:00.000-08:00

You really need to know the story that God is writing. It has brought me to my knees - on my face - at the feet of the Almighty, my Daddy God. Really? How is it that I would be so privileged as to become "mommy" to orphans? I'm already blessed with a loving, supportive, compassionate, really funny man (Yeah. It's best not to get into that one yet. Better for a future post!) And I've been given two priceless gifts in Rhyan and Tyler. Yet, He wants to give me more??? Remember those MORES? Here they come, and all because of God's grace and love.

The Lord has done some amazing things in the last few days, and let me just spit it out and say that we have been "matched" with two sweet little boys in Ethiopia and we need help to allow us to be their parents. Here’s the deal. We’ve been given the unofficial referral, but the official referral comes with a fee that is paid to the Ethiopian government, orphanage, and other agencies that officially release (for lack of a better term at the moment) the boys as ours. . We have two weeks before they end up being sent back to the orphanage and possibly separated from each other. This is simply how things work there.

Really, we are all part of this story; the adoption story, I mean. Haven't we been adopted into God's Forever Family through the blood of His Son? What a price to pay. The funds we have to raise are so trivial in comparison, yet the funds are the price we must pay to adopt our boys. As God has called us (the Gregersens) to become parents to orphans, He has called others to care for orphans in other ways. We believe one of those ways is helping to finance a family adoption. Our total to be able to call them ours officially and stop the ride back to the orphanage and/or separation from each other is $22,000. (I hear crickets chirping. Have you recovered yet?) I know. It’s a huge amount and is in addition to costs we have already covered as well as costs that will come after, such as: travel, passports, and visas. Our deadline is 7:00 a.m., Tuesday December 18th. So, please remember that any amount helps, and your donation is priceless to our family. Just use the donate button here on our blog and trust that whatever is given from your heart is received humbly and gratefully. You are part of the story!!! **Please use the "ChipIn" button to donate.**

Here is a little bit about our guys. The boys are 6 and 3, and as a new friend and Sister in Christ said, they are “through the roof sweet!” She and her husband were in Ethiopia a couple weeks ago meeting their three daughters for the first time, and they got to meet the boys! I’m shaking as I type. Again, how can God be so kind and generous as to choose ME to be their mommy, and Paul to be their Daddy... and Rhyan and Ty to be there siblings!?!? Surreal. FYI – Age alone makes our 6 year-old special needs, as he is not as “adoptable” being considered an “older” child. Really? Yes. Ugh. They are also harder to place because there are two of them – and not girls. This is just how things roll in the adoption world, folks.

Okay – please continue to pray! I can honestly say I’m nervous. Nervous for what these next two weeks hold, and even for the changes that are coming to our family. We are all super-excited, but the unknown can also be scary. This is a huge step in obedience for us, especially knowing that it’s impossible for us to make this happen. Only God can make this happen. We feel the obedience thing just as much as we feel the emotion. I look at the faces of many orphans and I love them all, so I asked God that if that’s the case, how would I know when I see “my” children? He clearly told me that it’s because He’s given me His heart for orphans, and He loves them all too – more than I do. But we can’t “rescue” all of them. He’s called us only to parent these two...plus the two who are home now! He told me to say yes and see what He does! Oh, I LOVE GOD SO MUCH!!!! We’ve prayed for our adoption to be such a “not-us-all-Him thing”, and for Him to get all the glory. This certainly will show His sovereignty! Faith of a mustard seed, right?

A Whole Lot of Mores

2012-11-30T23:06:00.000-08:00

My head spins at the realization that God calls me His. Wants me to partner with Him for His will. Fills me with the knowledge that my true place is at His feet in adoration. And brings me joy in ALL of this! This is what I call to mind when I find myself questioning what in the whatever am I doing!

Two more children means a decade or more of parenting dependents. It means more years of homeschooling. Aiyaiyai. All the lesson plans and grading. It means more braces, more muscle rubs with Vick's for growing pains, more bloody noses and tummy aches, more co-pays for well-checks and ear infections, more driver's tests, college tuitions, and more dirty socks on the floor. But, it also means more missing teeth ear-to-ear grins, more twinkly eyes, more tear-stained faces asking for prayer, more goofy jokes retold completely wrong, more giggles around the dinner table, more baseball or soccer or dance, more "I love you!"s, and more of God's babies in our home. I would say it's more than a fair trade. I'll take all the daunting "mores" for all the other "mores" any day.

We have connected with another agency and a pair of bright-eyed little boys that need a home. Could they be our sons? We're praying that God reveals His plan, and that He provides the funds we need to bring them home, should that be His will.

For now, we enjoy a short break from baseball and dance. Preparation for Christmas is our focus and an exciting one at that. It's our first Christmas in this home, and we still find ourselves having to replace and repair things here and there. The latest - the new sliding arcadia doors. So wonderful! We can actually open it without smashing our fingers or throwing out our backs. Our Christmas trees are up and this favorite season for the Gregersens is in full swing, including not having a clear day on the calendar. Gotta love it!

2012-07-07T13:11:00.000-07:00

We officially were placed on the wait list on May 10, 2012! It was the same day our friends had their court date to legally become parents of the little guy they adopted domestically. Could we ask for better Mother's Day gifts!?!?

God is busy growing His family and settling the lonely in their forever families. There are no orphans in God's world, and His economy is beyond sufficient for those of us who are called to His purpose. I pray for the day that I see no more orphans in this world, either. I know it may be the day of His return, but it will happen. God's thoughts are deeper. His ways are higher. Isaiah 55:8, 9


He placed the stars in the sky. He counts the number of grains of sand on the beach. He knows the children He has planned for our family. He knit them together and molded them with His own hands, even before they were in this world.

2012-04-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

I Fed Ex'd our dossier last Thursday, April 12th! For those of you who don't know what a dossier is, just take a peek at the papers in the picture. These are letters, forms, certificates, home study, passports, etc. that have all been part of the last nine months of our lives. They were authenticated by Arizona Secretary of State and are now in the hands of our agency, the U.S. Government, and Ethiopia. Woohoo! Now we wait to hear when we are officially on the wait list, and wait some more to meet our kiddos. I've felt butterflies in my belly every day since Thursday! It feels so much more real now that we've pretty much completed our end of the process (other than fundraising and travel). We are SO excited!