Taking The Long Way Home

Leave it Running

2012-01-24T08:22:00.000-07:00

Inspiration is like water. It flows all on its own, and while it's possible to dam it up and slow it down, it's better to let it do what it does. Flow. I know that if I use it as it comes along, there will always be more right behind it. There always has been. In an Inspirational Rainy Season, it might be hard to keep up with the floods that sometimes happen, and now and then there will come a drought, when I wonder if I'll ever see another drop of Inspiration again. I always do though. Always. I know I can rest in the dry seasons, trusting that the Flow will return. When it does, and I use it, it just keeps coming. If I don't use it, it diverts itself to some other outlet, because it depends on us, all of us, for expression. There's an endless supply, so the best thing is to just turn on the Inspirational Faucet, and leave it running.

Today is Tuesday. I'm leaving for Mexico on Thursday. I have a million things to do, but on Sunday I was swept away by a new bead idea that would not wait until I come back from my trip. I spent the day in the studio, and much of the evening. I tried everything that came to me. Some of it worked. Some didn't. But by the time I had cleaned everything up on Monday morning, I knew I was onto something. I call them HeartStones, and I think you're going to like them as much as I do...

I live in the desert, and I'm going to spend a week by the ocean. That's got to be a good thing for body, mind, heart & soul, and yes, for Inspiration. I'm leaving the Faucet running while I travel. I'll have a camera and a notebook with me at all times, and when I come back, I'll be ready to splash around in the studio again. Usually when I go on vacation, I have to be dragged off the beach when it's time to go home, but this time it might be Inspiration that lures me home. What a surprise. What a lovely surprise...

January Bead Giveaway Winner

2012-01-23T21:42:00.000-07:00

We have a winner! Bella Chic aka Gina!

"Bella Chic aka Gina has left a new comment on your post "Here's to Creative Maladjustment":
Very awesome quote! Thanks for the chance to win your giveaway :) "

Please email your address to me so I can send you your bead! I'm leaving for Mexico early Thursday morning, so might have to send this to you when I get back. If you see this and get right back to me, I'll send it off before I leave.

Congratulations! And thanks everyone for participating! We'll do it again in February. Every blog comment and every new mailing list subscriber will be added to the drawing. Starting... now!

Attention

2012-01-19T17:30:00.000-07:00

This is what's caught my attention today. I have several more in the kiln, and might share some of them in a day or two, but the one on the right is mine... It will remind me to get out of the way, stop complicating things, and keep it simple. The simpler the better when it comes to beads like these. Enough is just right.

The Official 2012 Bead Project turns out to be nothing like I had first imagined. The only rule is No Rules, and in fact, it isn't even a project. By the powers vested in me, I hereby give myself permission to make whatever I want to, even if it's flowers, and even if it's not. I also agree to consult the Divine Universe on a regular basis, to be sure I'm listening with my eyes and hands and heart more than with my mind and bank account. And, furthermore, I promise only to make beads when making beads makes me happy, so you'll always feel the love when they come to live with you. Happy New Year. Hallelujah. Let's make beads.

The countdown to Mexico has started. A week from today we'll be sitting on the beach, sipping tasty beverages, and celebrating two of our three kids' birthdays. Yeah, it's hard to concentrate on beads right now, but I'm doing my best. I'll post a few over the weekend, and then close up the BeadShop on Tuesday and mail everything before we leave. I'll also draw a winner for the Bead Giveaway on Tuesday. I realize I haven't posted a picture of the prize yet. Hm. So distracted. Maybe tomorrow.

Have a lovely evening, and I'll do the same.

Stripes

2012-01-17T17:24:00.000-07:00

I think we all go through periods of struggle. Maybe it comes from thinking too much. Maybe it comes from doing too much. For me, sometimes I just hit overload, and have to shut everything down and restart after a bit, just like my computer. If I force it, everything gets glitchier and glitchier, until nothing at all works. Eventually, the shut down and restart is no longer an option, but a necessity.

There's always a tipping point. For me, this time, it was that miserable failure of a meal I cooked last night that sent me over the edge, and shut me down. (You can read about it on PositivelyVegan.) Suddenly, everything I've been doing lately seemed like one big mess to me. And I know it was because I've been over-thinking all of it. This thing with the beads... to make flowers or to not make flowers, to commit to a project or abandon all goals. The need to figure it all out made it impossible to figure any of it out. And in the over-thinking of something so simple as dinner, I did myself the favor of tripping the overload switch.

Last night I read a short interview with artist, Agnes Martin. I am not a fan of her paintings. I don't understand them. The ones I've seen are stripes. Blue and white stripes on large canvasses. Just... stripes. But something she said in the interview got through to me. When asked how her painting was going several years ago, when she was in her 90's and painting in Taos, she said, "I am lost in blue..." When I read that, I knew it was time to go back and have another look at those paintings.

I got up this morning and declared it Field Trip Tuesday. I sent Rick off to work, closed my computer without so much as a backward glance to Facebook or email, and drove into town, to visit the Harwood Museum. Once inside, I walked straight back to the Agnes Martin room, where there are seven large blue and white striped paintings, hung on white walls.

I took a deep breath. I took my time. I walked slowly from one to the next, looking from far away, and from up close. I answered a text message. I looked at the brush strokes. I took my own picture. I walked around the room again. I stalled. I resisted. Finally, I sat down in the center, and just looked... for a long time.

I didn't expect anything, but I hoped for some kind of message to come through. And eventually, gradually, I began to get lost in the blue of one particular painting. I put down my phone and got out my notebook, where I wrote:

And even with this, I might be totally off, but since this was the message I got, it was right for me. Imagine the freedom to paint "with her back to the world." Imagine following a thread of inspiration as far as it will lead. Imagine having the ability to block out what anyone else might have to say, and to do the work, simply because it wants to be done.

I am suddenly smitten with Agnes Martin. She died in 2004, so I will never get to meet her. But inspiration and encouragement can certainly come from someone who is no longer in this world. I'm finding strength in her strength, and for that, I want to hug her, although I think she probably wouldn't like that very much.

Where to from here? I'm the last one to have that answer, and maybe also the last one to ask the question. I do know that while I'm "shut down," for the rest of Field Trip Tuesday, I'm not going to pay any attention to what anyone else "thinks" I should do. My back is to the world, at least for a little while. I still don't get the striped paintings, but I do get being lost in blue.

Meet Agnes Martin in the following two short videos. I love them both.

Here's to Creative Maladjustment

2012-01-16T08:35:00.000-07:00

“The saving of our world from pending doom will come, not through the complacent adjustment of the conforming majority, but through the creative maladjustment of a nonconforming minority.”

~ Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr ~

I love that quote. I find it comforting. I'm sure he didn't mean it to apply specifically to artists and vegans, but I imagine we're included, because the Reverend Doctor was a most inclusive sort of guy. I'm taking his words in today, and feeling the love. I'm letting it be okay, and even preferable to be my creatively maladjusted self. What a relief. From here I can do my job. From a place of trying to fit in with what's "normal"... well, nothing gets done.

I still have no definitive decision regarding the Flower Beads. As much as I want to turn the idea of A Year Without Flowers into a project, I'm not sure I have the stamina, or the passion it takes to do, or not do, something for an entire year. Anything less seems... weak. To me anyway. Blah, blah, blah. Living in my head can be exhausting.

It's taken me half a month to get around to doing a Bead Giveaway. I really do intend to do this every month, and maybe next month I'll be better organized. This time around, we have only about a week to do this, because I'm going to Mexico on the 26th. I don't know what the prize is yet. Hmmm, maybe one of those Flower Beads in my stash. Yes. That's it. I'll post a pic later. For now, if you want to win, just leave a comment on this blog, or my other one, PositivelyVegan. To keep it fair, just leave one comment per post, but you can comment on as many older posts as you like, and you can comment on both blogs every day. The other way to enter is to sign up for my mailing list. If you've done that since the last Giveaway, I've already got you in the contest. I did think that far ahead! So now, comment away. And the more thoughtful, the better.

I have an ulterior motive in this. Well, two actually. I love to see the discussions that happen here when you all open up and join in. I love the sense of community. I love that you begin to get to know each other. I love the connection. That's coming from my "change the world" side. My "a girl's gotta make a living" side wants hits and comments to my blogs because it makes them more visible to search engines. On a good day I'll get around 100 hits to this blog, and maybe 40 to the other one. "Real Bloggers" get 10,000 hits and upward in a day... I'll probably never be Real, but that's okay. I promise to stay creatively maladjusted, and to keep trying to make the world a better place for all of us to live. I have beads, food, and love to offer, and that's a pretty good place to start.

No Custom Orders

2012-01-11T10:09:00.000-07:00

A comment from my CyberFriend Zoe yesterday suggested that I might do only custom orders for flower beads. It reminded me that I haven't really talked about the custom order thing in a long time, and there are probably quite a few of you who wonder why I won't do custom work. So many topics are blog-worthy, and I think this is one of them. So here's my story...

Since very early in my beadmaking life, I've had a couple of rules that have kept me (relatively) sane. "No Schools or Churches" is the first one. It became clear very quickly that I would not find my customers in these shows, surrounded by plastic canvas kleenex box covers, painted ceramic angels, and crocheted pot holders. Rule Number 2 is "No Custom Orders," and while it's every bit as important as the first Rule, it's the one I tend to break every now and then, just to test it... or myself.

My first custom order came from a friend of my sister's, many years ago. She was a bride, who wanted a necklace to wear with her slinky cream colored velvet wedding dress. She "knew exactly" what she wanted - a strand of small, clear beads with little white flowers. A simple enough request, so I agreed to do it, made a few sample beads, and mailed them to her. I got them back, with a note asking for a "little more color"... So I tried pale colored backgrounds with white flowers, and sent her several more. They came back. And we did this several more times, until she finally asked for dark green with white flowers - a far cry from the clear and white she was sure she wanted in the beginning.

I made the green and white necklace, and she was very happy with it. I, on the other hand, was super frustrated, and had spent so much time on it that I could never be paid for all the work (and postage). I ended up gifting it to her as a wedding present, and made a bracelet for myself out of all the rejected beads. I still have it, and I pull out the No Custom Orders Bracelet every so often, to remind myself of why I have this rule.

But did I learn from this? Not exactly. Time and again I have weakened and agreed to do a custom bead or piece of jewelry for someone who, of course, "knew exactly what they wanted." Like the friend who wanted a big bead in gold and black. Against my better judgement, I got out the gold foil, and made three beads for her to choose from. This is another peril of custom orders. I know I can't "see" the vision of what someone else wants, so I make several versions, hoping to get it right. Then I'm left with the others to try to sell. In this case, my friend brushed right by the beads I had made for her, and zeroed in on a huge purple and turquoise bead instead. At least she bought something, but it took me three years to find homes for those gold and black ones.

There are several more stories like these, but thankfully, not too many. Every now and then I ignore my own rule, only to be reminded once again that custom orders never work in my favor. They always take far more time, and make me far less money than just making and selling what inspires me. I know some people thrive on the challenge of custom work. I am not one of them, and that's a good thing to know about oneself.

Another friend has just reminded me of the Henry Ford quote, "If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." I love that. And it's so true. Most people have no idea what they want. It's up to the creative people of the world to show them. When it comes to beads, the people with true "bead vision" usually learn to make them themselves, and share that unique vision with the world.

So if you've wondered over the years, why I'm so adamant about my No Custom Orders rule, well, now you know. I think I've finally learned my lesson. Go ahead, test me. I'm actually very good now at the Clear and Loving No, as in No custom orders, no way in the world, but thank you very much for asking.

Decision Time

2012-01-10T09:24:00.000-07:00

Change one thing, and you change everything. Move a rock and energetically, the entire world ripples and shifts in response. Shift your thinking, and your whole life changes with it. I'm doing a lot of thinking these days, a lot of changing. Nothing big. Just little adjustments in trajectory. And each one leads to another, so I'm finding myself surprised on a daily basis at What Happens Next.

The bead thing is insistently in the center of my focus. I have choices. Always have. I can keep doing it the same way I've always done it, or... I can move a rock. Or maybe even a boulder. I had this idea yesterday, that appeared out of Nowhere. I love that place, Nowhere, where so many cool things are just waiting to be discovered. If ideas had titles, like books, and maybe they do, this one would be, A Year Without Flowers. And the premise would be: What would happen if I spent a whole year making only beads I've never made before, with not a single flower in the bunch?

Wow... that's radical enough to scare even me. I'm a big fan of change, but this seems sort of crazy. I'm famous for flower beads, for goodnesssakes. Why would I want to mess with that? Then again, why wouldn't I? Well, for one thing, it could turn out to be business suicide. But really only if I intend it to be. Another option is to jump off that bridge on a foggy morning, totally trusting that the net is there, and just enjoying the flight.

Imagine what might come from pushing myself to do something new on a regular basis. I might come up with some fabulous new beads, for starters. I might have more fun doing it. I might sell more. Or I might alienate all my regular customers. Or I might find new ones. I might be surprised at the number of people who are willing to support the flow of creativity. I might be sad at the number of people who want to control it. I might even bump beads back to hobby status and do something entirely different for a living... I mean really, with one little shift in direction, absolutely everything can, and probably would, change.

I'm starting to see this Idea (which has just this moment been promoted to capital "I" status) as a whole project, more than just the beads. A year-long creativity experiment lends itself so nicely to writing as well as beadmaking. And while I'm not at all inclined to write an actual book, I do see it as a way of reviving a flabby blog. After all, it's all part of this Long Way Home we've all signed up for here in the Earth life we're currently living. Hmmm... yes indeed, the wheels are turning now.

Will I do it? Not sure yet. But as I talk about it here, I'm doing a lot of internal processing. And the more I think about it, the better I like the Idea. A Year Without Flowers. A grand experiment in creativity. It sounds like fun. It sounds scary. It sounds challenging. It even sounds like work. And certainly, it sounds like a huge commitment, to you, yes, but mostly to myself. Will I do it? I'm literally deciding as I'm writing this this morning.

What Happens Next might surprise all of us. I'll certainly keep you posted...

Starting Again

2012-01-08T10:50:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting couple of weeks in my own personal CyberLand. I joined the mass exodus from GoDaddy, moving all my domain names to another server. It's a long story. Not important to my story here. You can research all the hubbub if you want. Anyway, I moved 5 domains successfully, I thought, and then a week later, something glitched in the transfer, and nobody, including me could get to this blog. I read the instructions over and over, did what they said, contacted tech support with my "urgent" message, and three days later... finally got an answer. I changed one little thing, and a few minutes later, magically, miraculously, I was back.

While all this was going on, I got numerous emails from friends/customers/readers who were concerned not only about the whereabouts of my site, but touchingly, about my well-being. Without them, I might have seriously considered closing the blog all together. I mean, really, how important is it? Just another blog in an ocean, a galaxy, an infinity of blogs. In the big picture, it doesn't matter a hoot. But I live in a small picture, and I guess it sort of matters to me, and maybe to about 12 other people who read it regularly. And maybe that's enough, because when I thought it was gone, I did everything I could think of to keep it.

My other Post-Holiday CyberProject was to hold a BigAss Bead Sale, in hopes of clearing out the inventory I didn't sell at the local holiday show, and in the process, clearing mental space, making room for new inspirations to come through. There's little incentive to make more stuff when there's already too much stuff sitting here looking at me. It's like when the fridge is full of leftovers, there's not much reason to make new food. So I had a sale. The biggest sale I've ever had. Times being what they are, people are still stuck in a mentality of lack. We believe we can't have, and don't deserve the little niceties in life, and instead spend our money on... well, mostly crap, because it's cheap.

My sale was something of an experiment. I wanted to see what people are really willing to spend on beads these days. I thought I'd finally entice those people who have been on my mailing list for years to buy something they've wanted all that time. I listed over 100 beads, and have only 2 left now. Not bad, not bad at all. But I sold most of them at less than half of what I used to get for them And most interestingly, almost all of them went to familiar customers who already have many, many of my beads. I saw a few new names, but not very many. So now I'm perplexed, and feeling somewhat... tentative... about beads in general, and where to take them from here.

Since I've tried and failed for the gazillionth time to figure out what people want, offering what they'd said they wanted, only to discover once again they were just kidding, I'm back to my Uppity Artist ways, which allows me to do anything I want, and just hope for the best. I'm tired to my toes of making flower beads. Maybe they'll bloom again in the spring. I don't know and I don't care. I'm currently smitten with the idea of filling little glass globes with beautiful things. So there's that to continue, in various forms. And then there's just play time at the torch, which is something I forget about when I'm all head-down-gotta-make-a-living.

I've spent a few days in the studio, just playing with an idea that surfaced in my sleep - something that's happening more and more, as I welcome and encourage Sleep Thoughts. I cleared away all the old glass, and deliberately pulled out just a handful of colors, and some white, black, and sparkling goldstone. I cleaned a bunch of clear, and traded in my ever-present tray of 2mm CZs for even tinier ones. I can barely see them, but they're just the right thing. Blending, spinning, stretching and twirling all this together, I turned out a batch of beads that make me so happy I don't even want to sell them. But of course then Business Brain steps in, clears her throat, and reminds me... a girl's gotta make a living. Sigh... okay... I'll share, but I'm keeping a few, and making more, just for me.

I needed some help naming them. I texted a bunch of possibilities to my daughter, like Ribbons, Streamers, and even... Clown Guts... hahaha! I like that one, but realize it has some marketing limitations. Almost instantly, she fired back, They look like that Wonka candy, Laffy Taffy to me. And that was that. Laffy Taffy. Perfect. Let's not take all this fun stuff too seriously. Beads are here to make us happy. Somebody else can make great art. I want to make your eyes happy, your heart sing, and I want to decorate everything that will stand still.

So here I am, holidays over, messes cleaned, space cleared, glitches fixed, ready to roll again. Getting back to creative work is not the same as going back to a regular job. Sometimes it requires a start-over. As it turns out, I do want to keep this blog going, and I do want to keep making beads. The important thing in a creative start-over is to do at least something, if not everything, differently. There's the challenge, and... there's the fun.

Baby Steps

2012-01-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

I just love a new year. It's like meeting a new friend - someone I'm excited to see every day, someone who offers new experiences in my life, someone who seems happy to see me too. It's kind of like new love. Anything can happen, all possibilities are open, and there's that little twinkle that makes me sort of giddy.

I don't like New Year's Resolutions though. I think they're something that sets us up for failure, because they're usually too big and ambitious to ever be realistic. We jump in with all our energy and enthusiasm, and then burn out quickly, like a long distance runner who bursts out at top speed, rather than pacing herself. Many times in the past, I've made long lists of resolutions, and managed to overwhelm myself and give up before I even got started.

These day I take a different approach. While a new year is a lovely fresh start, as the first few weeks go by, and the freshness fades, it helps me to remember to see every single day as a new creation. After all, the calendar is a human invention, and would mean very little if you could zoom out to the edges of the Universe and look at the real Big Picture. Every day we continue with a certain amount of what we were doing the day before, but we also start over, and have the option of doing some things, or everything, differently, more creatively, and with new enthusiasm. What if we got out of bed every morning, and greeted the day with a Happy New Year! ? Seems like it might be a fun experiment.

I have a long and growing list of things I'd like to do. Some are goals, some are projects, and some are just small changes I'd like to make in the way I manage my time. But I'm not making any resolutions. One reason resolutions don't work for me (and a lot of other people) is they're so... resolute. Flexibility is important, and so is leaving room for all the things I haven't thought of yet. I'm finding that it works best to focus on something I want to get done, and rather than map out a big intimidating strategy, just come up with one thing that will get me closer to my goal. Just one thing, the next thing, and then the next and the next. It's all baby steps. We're all always learning, and in many ways, we're all beginners.

I'd like to see us ease up on ourselves, encourage ourselves and others, and nurture and cooperate rather than compete, as if we were talking to babies, saying, "Yes! That's good! Take another step sweetie." I have a feeling we'd all get a lot more done, and we'd all be happier, more secure in ourselves, and more creative and giving with others. I'm looking forward to a year of small goals, changes in plans, fresh starts, flexibility, and happy surprises I haven't even begun to imagine yet. No big plans, no resolutions. Just baby steps.

Happy New Year!

2011-12-31T08:01:00.000-07:00

Here we are, at the end of another year, and ready to step into a new one. Before I get too wrapped up in my New Year's Eve plans, I like to put the focus on the year I'm still standing in. Unlike some, I'm not so eager to push 2011 out into the cold. It's been an amazing year, and I want to pause to properly thank it. No point in going into all that's happened. If you've been reading here, you know. If not, you can back up and find out if it interests you. I'll just say, it's been one helluva ride, and I'm grateful for every twist and turn.

I also look forward to 2012. I love a new start, and I love making plans for a fresh new year. One of my many mottos is, Make a plan, and plan to change it. I believe in putting out there what we want, and then staying open to things we haven't even thought of. Most often, the Universe gets it even better than we do.

Things are changing faster than ever in this world, and it's hard to keep up. Sometimes I think it's best to just throw our hands in the air and holler Weeeeeeeeeee!!! as loud as we can. It makes it easier to enjoy the ride, turn fear into thrills, and know that we're buckled in, and ultimately safe, so matter what.

Here's to 2011. I hope you have some fond memories of it, or at least some gratitude for the lessons it brought. And a big warm welcome to 2012. I can't wait to see what happens next.

For The Moms Who Make Christmas

2011-12-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

i am

the partridge in the pear tree

i am
the ho ho ho
the fa-la-la
the jingle all the way

i am
the roast beast

(or better yet, tofurky)
the stuffing
the cranberries
the green bean casserole
the cookies
the pies
the egg nog
the figgy...
...pudding

sometimes
i am
the grinch

but mostly

i am
the mistletoe
the stockings hung by the chimney with care
the tree full of lights
the brightly wrapped gifts
the tinsel

i am
the silent night

i am
peace on earth

i am
the mom

i make the magic

and when all this is over
i am
taking a spa day

because
i am

in fact
the sugar plum fairy

and
i am
exhausted

image by Anne Taintor

Goof-Off Week

2011-12-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

By this time each December, bead sales trickle to a stop, I guess because there's no guarantee of Christmas delivery at this point. I always panic a little bit, and then I relax and enjoy some time to wrap presents, put up the tree, plan fancy meals, bake, and just generally goof off. That's something I rarely do. This time of year I clean up my computer, sort and back up photos, ponder new directions for my blogs and website, and sift through a year's worth of mysterious bookmarks. There are dozens of things I mark for later use, and then never go back to. Some of them are no longer even valid links, and to be honest, I don't really know what most of them are. So I go through one by one, clicking, deleting, renaming, and re-filing. It's actually sort of fun - especially when I run across a really good one, like I did yesterday.

Allow me to introduce you to PhotoFunia. But don't go there unless you have some free time. It completely sucked me in, to the point where we almost had popcorn for dinner, instead of the lovely pasta I had planned. With minimal computer skills, you can take your average family photos, and turn them into fun, silly, cool, beautiful works of art. Here are some of mine... Go have some photo fun of your own!

You too can be on the cover of Vogue!

My sister, in pastels

Me, on a brick wall

My beautiful daughter turns heads wherever she goes

My baby sis and her sweetie - fun with graffiti

Jacob and his mama at the mall

Julie and Danny are worth a good long look

Rick and Jacob become a beautiful pencil drawing

Winners!

2011-12-16T16:43:00.000-07:00

We have our winners for the December Bead Giveaway!
Congratulations Serena Thomas! You've won the Gem Globe!
And Congratulations Vicki Brunberg! You've won the Snow Globe!

I'll email both winners to get your addresses, and will mail your prizes promptly.
Many thanks to everyone who joined in! I'll be doing another giveaway soon, so please keep playing!

Last Chance to Enter the December Bead Giveaway!

2011-12-16T07:58:00.000-07:00

I had a great day at Taos Feeds Taos yesterday, and I'm a total pig for that "volunteer high," so I'm going back today. It's distribution day, which means people who have qualified to receive boxes of food will show up at the National Guard Armory, where the volunteers will cheerily push shopping carts loaded with goodies out to their cars, load them up, and send them on their way. There will be lots of smiles and hugs and Merry Christmas wishes, and even some heartfelt God Bless You's. This day always, always gets me in the Christmas Spirit.

Today is also the day I set for holding the December Bead Giveaway drawing, before I knew I'd be busy all day. This gives you until this evening to enter, if you haven't already done so. I'll do the drawing tonight, after I get home and take some ibuprofen. I'll post the two lucky winners names here and on Facebook, so check in to see if you're one of them. I want to get these prizes shipped right away! Good luck!

This is a long one. Please make some tea and sit with me here. I need you to read this...

2011-12-13T09:31:00.000-07:00

Nobody looks forward to funerals. I actively avoid them for the most part, and can come up with all sorts of excuses and justifications for not attending. Since we live in a pretty out of the way place, travel from Taos is inconvenient, inefficient, and expensive. I usually choose to go to the parties rather than the funerals. But in the case of Noel Cunningham's death, something told me that Rick and I both needed to go to Denver for the funeral.

I knew the Noel was an amazingly generous man who worked tirelessly in his restaurant, Strings, and more importantly in his many philanthropic projects. He was a great talker, but he also put his words into action. And he could talk anyone into lending a hand, usually by sitting them down for a wonderful meal, and then spelling out exactly what he wanted. Rick and I came to know Noel and his wife Tammy through the Hope Bracelet Project, which was started by the Cunningham Foundation, in support of Project Mercy, in Ethiopia.

When I first started with the project, I was somewhat tentative, and held back from throwing myself "all in." I was able to round up record numbers of bead donations, but I resisted going to Ethiopia, saying that I thought I could be of more help from here. Noel knew better. He knew that if I went there and met the people, and breathed the air, and felt the earth under my feet, and ate the food, and hugged the children... he knew if I did all that, then he would really have me. He arranged for Rick and me to meet Marta and Deme, the founders of Project Mercy, in Yetebon, Ethiopia, which is a three hour drive from Addis Ababa. We met at Strings. Noel fed us, and we talked and listened, and were somehow convinced that we were needed, not only as long distance helpers, but in Ethiopia. We agreed to go because of Marta and Deme, two of the world's true Earth Angels, who gently took our hands in theirs, and asked us to please help them.

We went to Ethiopia for three weeks in November of 2008. (Read more about our trip here.) We were told that we were of great help in the bead studio, but we knew that we were the ones who benefitted the most. That trip changed us forever, and we'll never see our life here in the US in the same old way again. We came home, as many volunteers do I suppose, ready to sell everything and move to Ethiopia. Instead, we sold and gave away much of the excess we had accumulated, and went on our year-long RV adventure, in search of a smaller, simpler, more manageable life; one that would allow us more freedom to travel, volunteer, and make better use of our time than just working to support a house and a lifestyle. We didn't find it... We didn't find it because it wasn't "out there." And in the process of all that searching for something that was actually inside of us all the time, we lost touch with our friends in Ethiopia, and lost track of what we had set out to do in the first place.

This brings us back to Taos, three years after our trip to Ethiopia, and to the call to go to Denver for Noel Cunningham's funeral. The weather was clear, the roads dry, and we have friends to stay with there, so at a moment's notice we got a friend to stay here with our dogs, and we were off. As funerals go, it was a great one. Some 1400 people turned up at the cathedral, and it became clear to me just how far Noel had reached with his work, and how many lives he had touched. While we were there, we saw Marta and Deme, who spend part of their time in Fort Wayne, Indiana, where they landed as refugees in the 1970's, and part in their homeland of Ethiopia. When they're in this country, they're like rock stars. People clamor for their time and attention, and it's nearly impossible to get even a moment with them. I think maybe Noel had other plans.

We had breakfast with Marta and Deme before the service, which was wonderful, but rushed. We didn't get to catch up completely, so they asked us to meet them later for coffee near their hotel. This in itself was amazing, and we knew something important was brewing if they wanted so much of our time. During our afternoon meeting, we got down to business. The bead project in Yetebon needs help. The Cunninghams had been doing less there, as other things were demanding their time, and I had backed away during our travels. What got my attention was the fact that the bead studio is still operating there, and one of the beadmakers I worked with is now teaching new beadmakers who come to the program. It's a common belief that when humanitarian organizations start a project, think it's ready to become self sustaining, and then leave it, most often the project fades and fails. This has not been the case at Project Mercy, because Marta and Deme are so dedicated to their work, and they simply won't allow failure.

Even now, both in their 80's, they continue to nurture Project Mercy. In the short time since we were there, they've completed a beautiful new high school, and have built the first six of 30 homes for orphans in the area, where small "families" of children will live with house mothers who are trained in meeting the physical and emotional needs of orphans. There is also an adoption program in the works, that will allow Project Mercy to be the adoption agency, bypassing all the usual government red tape, and allowing parents to adopt these children free of charge. All this, on top of everything else they've already done, and they came to us for help...

What do you do when Earth Angels take your hands in theirs, look you in the eyes, and say, We need you...? This is what they said to me. And I'm even more pleased that they need me as more than just a beadmaker. They're also interested in my cooking, which thrills me more than I can say. I don't know that a vegan diet is practical or possible in that part of the world, but I do know that meat is at the expensive end of the food chain in any country, and it could be of great benefit to introduce some simple plant based food combining, which would make it easier and cheaper for people to get enough protein. After I told them briefly about my love of vegan cooking, and my plans to go to cooking school in the spring, Marta said to me, We need both of your talents, and then looked at Rick and said, Now what can you do? That made us laugh, but also made it clear that they need everyone's skills. No one is along for the ride, and I don't get to have a Lovely Assistant. Bring something to the party, buster, or just stay home. Fortunately, Rick is a very handy guy. He has a handyman business here in town, and he gardens too, which is a useful skill anywhere. I think they need both of us to visit Ethiopia again, but first they need us here.

I was glad to have the opportunity to express my own concerns, and to ask some questions that have gone unanswered for a long time. I got to tell them that one of the reasons I backed away from the bead project was the lack of communication. They heard me, and assured me that this would improve. That, combined with the fact that there's a real dedication to the bead project there, makes me want to jump back in and see what I can do. I'm not sure what that will look like yet, but I think it will start with going after bead donations again. They're making beads there, but can't produce enough yet. I'm working on ways of enticing my fellow beadmakers to pitch in. I might even take Noel's lead here. If I feed you, and ask you for help, chances are you'll say yes. Noel had a way of bringing people together. He knew who needed to meet, and he was shameless about making it happen, because everything he did was for the good of someone else. I have a feeling he's doing the same thing now, nudging people together, and making sure the good work he was doing continues.

I'm going to be asking for your help. Be ready to say yes! Sure, there are people in this country who need help. Help them! Everything we do to make things better, no matter where we do it, counts in the big picture, and helps the world as a whole. There is no Us and Them. It's all Us. Our job is to make connections, do what we can, and go where our hearts lead us. Some people are willing to do the work, and others are there to support it. It's all important! I'll do the work, but I'll need some help.

I'm no Angel. Let's be clear about that! But one way or another, whether it's in my blog, in an email, on Facebook, or in my kitchen, I am going to look you in the eyes, hold your hands, and maybe even feed you, and then I'm going to say, I need you. Will you help? It's a trick I learned from Marta and Deme, and also from Noel, one of the greatest Earth Angels ever. Now who wants to come to my house for dinner? The reservation book is open.

Good-Bye Noel

2011-12-07T10:21:00.000-07:00

I'm posting this on both of my blogs today...

Rick and I are on our way to Denver, to attend the funeral of a very dear man, Noel Cunningham, who left this world last week. Noel and his wife Tammy took Rick and I to Ethiopia in November of 2008, changing our lives for the better, forever. Noel will be greatly missed by many across the world, and I hold the belief that given all the wonderful and loving things he did here in this life, he has even greater work to do now, from the other side.

Just because this is all we can see doesn't mean it's all there is.

I am so very sad, and yet so hopeful and inspired, and so proud to have crossed paths with Noel Cunningham. I'm setting aside business as usual for a few days, and I'll be back here with you next week, beading, cooking, musing, and celebrating life.

Carry on.
Love each other.
Know you are loved.

Thank you Laurie Maves for the beautiful video...

More Phone-tography

2011-12-06T09:43:00.000-07:00

I'm still having fun with my iPhone, particularly with the camera. A friend told me about the Photoshop Express app the other night, and I'm totally diggin' it. I only have free apps on my phone because my monthly bill is high enough already, thank you. Some of the free apps I've downloaded have been a silly waste of time. I delete those within moments of installing them. But this one is pretty useful, as it gives me a few more editing options than the auto-adjusting editor built into the phone/camera. I can crop, brighten, adjust contrast and such, and also play with borders and special effects.

Here's one I took the other morning. I'm fortunate to have such a photogenic view from my dining room table. The original picture is nice. Maybe it's good enough. But I have to mess with things and see what else they can become. The edited version is more dramatic. I'm not sure I love the border, and I could do it over a bit differently, although I probably won't. I'm not selling these, after all. It's just for fun.

My friend Gregg sent me a big box of persimmons last week, from a 100 year old tree in California. They're absolutely gorgeous sitting on my kitchen ledge, waiting to ripen. I'm going to miss them when they're all baked into breads and cookies, and of course eaten like squishy, sweet apples, dripping over the sink. The first photo is the original, and the second one has the color popped and the border blurred. It doesn't look exactly "real," but I tend to think reality is pretty overrated.

These tools we have that double as toys are getting more and more amazing every day. We might as well explore them and see what they can do. Maybe the play will us lead somewhere, and maybe it's just for fun. But isn't "just for fun" reason enough? I think so.

December Bead Giveaway!

2011-12-01T16:20:00.000-07:00

Happy December! I love giving gifts, and haven't done a Bead Giveaway for awhile, so this month I'm giving away TWO gorgeous beads! One is a snow Globe, valued at $89, and the other is a Gem Globe, filled with hundreds of sparkling CZs, and valued at $150!!! Find more beads like these in my BeadShop!

There are 3 ways to enter, and you can do each of them once!

1. Sign up on the Beadist Mailing List. You'll automatically be entered in the drawing, and you'll get friendly little emails from me, letting you know when new beads are ready to go, and special deals just for those on the mailing list.

2. Leave a comment on this post. Only once!

3. Leave a comment with the Secret Word "BEADS" in it on any post on my other blog, Positively Vegan. Again, only once!

Two winners will be chosen by random drawing on December 16. You must be "present" to win, meaning if I can't find you to get your address within 24 hours, I'll pick someone else. Check back here to see if you won!

I think that's it. Good luck, and Happy Holidays!!!

Babette's Feast

2011-12-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

The first time I watched the film Babette's Feast, it was at the recommendation of a nearly 80 year old friend who said I reminded her of Babette. I watched it, but I really didn't get it. This was at least 15 years ago, and I was busy raising 3 kids and being the "pizza queen" at our family shop in Seattle. I didn't connect with Babette, who lived and worked in a tiny, desolate village in Denmark, with a group of humble, simple religious people. Babette was from Paris, and the feast referred to in the film was the one and only over-the-top gourmet French meal she prepared for the villagers. I made pizza. Not hardly the same thing. And most of all, my vanity wouldn't let me find commonality with Babette because she looked... old.

Rick and I watched the movie again last night, and now I think my elder friend might have been looking into my future. Fortunately, I don't live in a stark, windblown village on the coast of Denmark, but I do find myself surrounded by a small group of people who are important to me, and I cook for them at every opportunity. It's also fortunate that my "village's" tastes are not constricted by their spirituality. In fact it's more the opposite, and so we all encourage each other to enjoy, appreciate, and share the abundance of our world. And now, of course, since these years have gone by, I think I look like Babette now... and I no longer see her as old. Funny how that works.

Babette and I do have our differences. I'm not a French chef, but I do alright. I would never import a sea turtle to make soup out of, and a cage full of quails would become residents in my yard, not baked into little pastry coffins. Still, we cook, Babette and I. And we cook with love, for people who matter. And I do hope one day to be as skilled as a French chef, only the vegan equivalent.

The more subtle themes of the movie jumped out at me this time. We all make choices in life, some more difficult than others. We can look back at our choices with regret, or with acceptance. We can live gracefully, or make it a struggle. And we all have gifts to share with the world, even if the world is only as big as we can reach with our arms stretched wide. Greatness is, well, great, I suppose, but it certainly isn't a necessary ingredient in a successful life.

In our society, we tend to hope for, dream of, and expect greatness. We want to be discovered, or hit the big time, or strike it rich. Rich and Famous has become a normal response to the old question, What do you want to be when you grow up? I used to think I wanted that too, but these days I want less, which is actually more. We've been back in Taos, back in our house, for a year now, busy with settling back in to a life we thought we'd left. The bigger world had no room for us though, so in a way, we're back in our village on the coast of Denmark, even though it sits in the high desert of New Mexico. It doesn't matter. We are where we are. We do what we do. And the most important thing to remember, over and over again in my case, is that all of our choices are the right choices, and the only true way to waste a life is to live it with regret. Regret is easy. Contentment takes work.

Some Holiday Love

2011-11-29T08:59:00.000-07:00

It was a most wonderful, and successful Vegan Thanksgiving here, with a full table, overflowing plates, good wine, and lots of love. Think you can't have a Holiday Feast without a dead animal artfully displayed on the table? Think again, my friends! I've cooked a lot of Thanksgiving dinners in my time, and I know my way around a turkey. Normally you'll hear the opening round of compliments to the chef - The turkey is perfect! So moist! Who made the green bean casserole? I love this stuff! Pass the potatoes, etc... and then talk turns to other things, depending on the group around the table. This was the first time in all my years of feeding people that the conversation pretty much stayed on the food. I went all out and cooked for two days straight, creating a meal like non of us had ever experienced, and it was awesome, if I do say so myself.

You can read more about it on my other blog, PositivelVegan, and get all the menu details and recipes. Try one dish at a time and see what you think. I bet your mouth will be very happy. I'm so pleased with my ability to make a huge meal in a small kitchen, I'm planning for Christmas already, starting with dessert. I'm considering a moist, spicy gingerbread cake (like the stuff they used to serve at the Catalyst in Santa Cruz, back in the day), with a goopy, saucy, baked apple topping. The rest of the meal will come to me. It always does.

I'm also wishing really, really hard for a kitchen island. If I was a Rich Lady, I'd remodel the whole kitchen, or at least have a truly perfect island custom built to fit the space. For now, my Dream Island Getaway, ready-to-assemble from Overstock.com, looks like this... (Santa, do you read my blog...?)

But it's not all about food and cooking. I have business to take care of too. I'm still a beadmaker by trade, and this is no time to quit my "day job." The Taos Folk show opened on Friday, with a line of people waiting outside the door. It was a delightful Taos-Style Black Friday scene, with people chatting happily, and politely streaming through the door at the civilized hour of 10 AM. The opening night party was packed with happy shoppers, and Saturday morning looked good too, when I dropped by for a little while to straighten up my display.

I think I've already mentioned that this is the first show I've done in several years, and the first craft show in ages. I switched to bead shows at some point, after realizing that people who attend bead shows already know what they're looking at, where as craft show go-ers need considerably more educating. After the third person walked up to my display on Saturday and commented on my "lovely bags," it occurred to me that I might put up a little sign reading, "Free Handmade Glass Bead with every Bag!"

Fortunately (or maybe not so), I don't have to be there to sell my work, so I have time to be in the studio making more, and tending to my website and blogs. It's all manageable, and I'm having fun with it, waiting to see what surfaces, what "wants" to be made. Playing Christmas music at full volume the other day, I found myself inspired to make Cupcake Beads and Snow Globes. What a surprise! I thought I was finished with both of those, but there they were, wanting another turn at the torch, so I obliged.

Today I'll take their pictures and post them on my website. On Friday, I'll take any that are left to the show. And that's how I plan to work my "bead weeks" from now until Christmas. Beads up Tuesday, down Thursday, mail Friday, move the rest to the show. Boom, boom, boom. If you're shopping, shop fast! And if you're not on my mailing list, now is a good time to join. You'll get a note when the beads are ready to go, and you'll also be entered in a Surprise Bead Drawing to be held later this month. Click HERE to add your name to the Beadist Mailing List.

I hope you're all enjoying the Holidays as much as I am!
Cheers!

Because You Don't Have To

2011-11-22T08:39:00.000-07:00

I wonder what most of us are thinking more about - Thanksgiving, or Black Friday. I'm hosting a small family feast this year, and my vegan menu is pretty extensive, largely experimental, and probably more labor intensive than I think it will be. That's where my energy is going this week, from list making, to recipe notes, to shopping and prepping ahead wherever I can. I'm excited to be doing all this, so it's not a chore. I'm thankful that I can do all this, and I'm doing it because I want to.

The Taos Folk Holiday Show that I'm in starts Friday though, and even though I thought I was prepared for it, it's taking up more of my time this week than I want it to. Set-up is not the streamlined event I'd imagined. I was led to believe I would drop my inventory off yesterday, and the show's designer would display it artfully for me. Not so... I don't even want to go into the details, but I will say I spent several hours there yesterday, doing and re-doing my display, and have to go back again today. I'm kind of not thrilled, but I'm in for the ride, and I just have to trust it will all work out perfectly. It always does, right?

I really just want to get it all done so I can get back to Thanksgiving, the Holiday at Hand, and give it its proper attention and reverence. I don't want to think about Christmas yet, and all it implies, particularly the list of things I "have to" do. Admittedly, my list gets shorter every year. I don't send cards, I don't give gifts to anyone but my kids, and they get less and less each year. I'm sure I'll be cooking a lot, but as for the rest of it, if it's something I'm expected to do, I'll probably rebel.

I saw something yesterday that made me want to do it because I don't have to. It's called the Gift Project, and from the looks of the website, it's a brand new baby. The idea is to give small (or large), unexpected gifts to strangers, or people you know, along with a little card you can print from the website, and maybe a note explaining that the one who is gifted is supposed to pass the card, and a gift of some sort, along to someone else. It's a Pay-It-Forward-Random-Acts-Of-Kindness sort of thing, all nice and fresh and shined up.

I read on Facebook that a friend had been treated to lunch by the man in line ahead of her at Subway, and was handed the little card along with her sandwich. It was a small thing, but it made her day, and inspired her to do something, probably many somethings, for someone else. I recently received an Amazon gift card from a bead customer friend who wanted to give me a creatively inspiring book, but didn't know what I'd like. It was wonderful, it made me so happy I cried, and mostly it made me feel valued and cared for. How lovely when someone does something kind because they want to, not because they have to.

I'm in. I'm printing cards today and going out into the world to see what kind of Gifting Mischief I can get myself into. As soon as I finish the have-to list for the show, I'll get right back to being in the Holiday Moment, thankful to be able to do small things for others... simply because I want to. And while I hope people will show the show, my real attention isn't going there just yet. I have other things to do.

I Have a New Helper

2011-11-19T11:00:00.000-07:00

I've been putting a lot of thought and energy into the Taos Folk show, which starts the day after Thanksgiving. I need to have my inventory there on Monday, which means I have a lot of organizing to do over the weekend. Since I haven't done a show of any kind in several years, I'm thinking a lot about just why I'm doing this one. Sure, I hope to sell some beads and make some money, but really, for me, it's more about adding to my customer base. Whether or not people buy my work at the show, there's great potential for getting them to shop on my website later. I need to make the most of the exposure a five week show can bring, and I want to keep shoppers interested for years, not just weeks.

The show promoter is happy to have her artists do all the shameless self promotion we want, so I'm working on a guest book, where I hope to gather a lot of email addresses for my Beadist Mailing List. To entice people to sign up, I'm entering all new subscribers in a drawing for a free Bead Surprise. It might work! We all like to win stuff, right?

And, as always, one thought leads to another, and I started thinking I could use this approach to get new subscribers to join online. Why not? The VIB Lounge was kind of a flop, so it's gone, but everyone on that list is now on the new Beadist Email list. And to encourage new people to sign up, I'm going to hold a monthly drawing right here, and will automatically include all new Beadist Email subscribers in the drawing. Brilliant, if I do say so myself!

I've been using Gmail for a long time, with the intention of signing up for MailChimp at some point. Today is the day, and I wish I'd done it sooner. How sweet it is to have everything automated, with sign up forms, opt-in/out made easy, and fancy email templates to spiff things up. And best of all, the Chimp is free! Second best is, it's cute. I like to keep it fun and not too businessy. And now I feel so organized, so smart, so powerful. Go me! Go MailChimp, you little cutie pie!

I've scattered links to the new signup form all over the place, and I'll give you another one HERE.
Come on! Join the list! I promise not to bother you with too much email, I'll never share your information, and best of all, you might win something wonderful!

An Invitation!

2011-11-17T06:56:00.000-07:00

It's been years since I've done a show of any kind, and the time has come to get myself out there again. Please join me, and many other talented Taos Artists, for Taos Folk. It runs from nest Friday, November 25 (the day after Thanksgiving) until Christmas Eve. We'll all be there opening night, with good food, great, affordable gift items for everyone on your list, and lots of festive fun. If you come to Taos for the show on any other day, and would like me to meet you there, send me an email and I'll schedule it in! For more information, visit the TaosFolk website. I hope to see you at the show!

the Secret Life of Sleep

2011-11-15T06:55:00.000-07:00

My friend and neighbor, Kat Duff, has just started a wonderful, entertaining, informative blog called the Secret Life of Sleep. Kat is working on a book on the subject, and has attracted the interest of two different publishers, so I trust we'll get to read all about it eventually. Until then, I look forward to her blog posts, where I'm already learning some interesting things about why I'm up in the middle of the night, reading a blog about why I'm up in the middle of the night. I know I'm not alone in this! Here's to a good night's sleep, or at least part of one!

Twitter

2011-11-10T09:28:00.000-07:00

When my post about Sushi was featured on BlogHer the other day, the editor over there gently suggested that I get myself on Twitter. Excited to be a featured blogger, I was eager to please. I had tried Twitter once before, but never really caught on to what to do with it. I could figure out how to tweet, but couldn't figure out why I should. Still, I decided to give it another go, so I re-opened my Twitter account, updated my information, and loaded the app to my phone. Okay. All set. Now what?

First maybe I should explain what I'm doing on BlogHer in the first place. I write both of my blogs on Blogger. It's where I started out, and I like and understand the software. TakingTheLongWayHome is more of a personal journey sort of blog, so I've been happy to have it sit in one place, waiting to be found by people who know me. But when I started PositivelyVegan, I knew I wanted to try to reach a larger audience, and I knew they were out there somewhere, all the newly emerging vegans, looking for information, good food, and inspiration. I decided to post my veg-blog on three different blogging platforms, Blogger, BlogHer, and Tumbler. It's an easy way to find more readers, and it's a lot of fun when I get a featured spot on the heavy hitter BlogHer main page. It's happened three times now, and I just know this has to be good exposure, although it's way too soon to quit my day job.

My Dream Life looks something like Cooking, Writing, Feeding People, Traveling, and Making Beads Just For Fun. Sort of like Anthony Bourdain, only more artistic, and not an arrogant bastard. Don't get me wrong, I love his show, even though we have decidedly different eating habits. He's just such a buffoon when it comes to vegetarians. I honestly hope I never ever meet him, because I think he would be a big mean bully, and who needs that crap? I'm here to spread the love.

Anyway, any goal is reached with baby steps, and sometimes big steps or leaps, but the point is, you have to do something other than just sit there wishing. So in my case, I cook the food, I write the blogs, and I do what I can to shamelessly self-promote on a budget - that budget being exactly zero dollars. Cross referencing blogs and Facebook are good ways to reach readers and connect with like-minds. And then there's Twitter... which still baffles me somewhat, although I'm beginning to see some value in it. I'm reading articles on how to make the most of it, and I check in now and then to see how other people use it. I've come up against tougher challenges than Twitter in my life. Surely I can find my way through this one too.

I'd like to start some conversation here by way of comments so we can all participate. Are you on Twitter? Why? How do you use it? Why do you like it or not like it? Do you have any tips for the rest of us? Please share! And if you'd like to follow me on Twitter, I am @PositivelyVegan.

Guess I'd better go tweet now. Or cook something. Hmmm...