BW/WM Interracial Love Rising....

EYE CANDY WISH LIST: Gilles Marini

2011-03-15T15:38:00.000-04:00

THIS.....is the INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS actor GILLES MARINI.

Umm....what...yeah. Gilles Marini...Oh, I said that already. Lost my thought...ok.

I wonder if his hair feels as silky as it looks...mmmm.

And those eyes....they are pretty amazing, aren't they...wow. His lips are talking to me too. And his skin...his neck.

Ok, look... everything I see so far is more than acceptable, alright. LOL.

He's...Italian...and BELLISSIMO.

He's TALL...dark, HANDSOME!!!

Gilles has a pretty steady acting resume, but really hit the big time with his ONE-SCENE STEALING shot from the first "Sex and the City" movie. Remember, he was Samanthas' next-door neighbor in Malibu that was taking an outdoor shower...we saw E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!! The side view, the ULTRA-IMPRESSIVE FRONT PACKAGE {easy double digits, LOL}, and tight REAR-END...his solid CHEST...and ripped ABS...his SLICKED WET HAIR and that STUNNING FACE...and even...his open mouth letting water we ALL grew jealous of pour all over him!! SO SORRY...I just COULDN'T bring myself to place the full nude picture in this post....{pssst, I saved it for myself...he heeee, LOL...sorry, mine all mine...and untold gazillions on Google, LOL.}

Well, there you have it...Gilles is extremely hot, sensuous, gorgeous, alluring, seductive...he's definitely eye candy!!

As you can see to the right...he's just lying there, staring at and waiting for me...as if I would ever keep him waiting...but of course, that's MY dream...or wildest dreams...LOL.

Because that stare is only for his beautiful wife; Gilles is a very happily married and family man....which makes his wife the envy of most!!

Oh, well....dream away, ladies...nothing wrong with dreaming.

{Pics are the property of their respective owners. No ownership implied.}

BEAUTY OF THE DAY: For The Fellas - NIA LONG - Actress

2011-03-12T15:11:00.001-05:00

This is television and film actress NIA LONG.

Nia was born on October 30, 1970 is is 40 years old.

Alright, enough with the info-schminfo...

This woman is F-IIIIIIIINE!! DANG, Y'all!!! LOL.

FORTY??? In 15 YRS maybe....WE, FINE-ASS BLACK WOMEN, age INCREDIBLY WELL!!! It's because of our BEAUTIFUL, TOUGH-but-SOFT, TOLERANT SKIN!!!! Heee heeee....LOL.

Sexy, Classy, STUNNING, GORGEOUS-ITY BEYOND WORDS!!!

Nia has a really great acting resume...from her early days starting out on Disney and moving on to soaps {Guiding Light}, then to TV shows {Fresh Prince, Third Watch, Boston Legal and Big Shots} to movies {Boyz N The Hood, Friday, Big Mommas House, Best Man, Boiler Room, etc.}

Nia has also played in several interracial relationships in her acting career. From Boiler Room {2000} with actor Giovanni Ribisi...

to Gospel Hill {2008} with actor Adam Baldwin...

and on TV, she played opposite Michael Vartan as his love interest Katie in the short-lived show, BIG SHOTS.

UNBELIEVABLY, Nia is STILL SINGLE!!!! SMH. She has a young son, Massai Zhivago Dorsey II.

LOOK...at the LEGS on this FINE WOMAN!!!! She is totally GORGEOUS!!

One more Nia factoid: Nia is the half-sister of comedian SOMMORE.

If any of you have seen the movie "Something New", Sommore was the comedian at the club where Kenya and Brian went on a double-date...you know, the comedian who was joking about the "DC Sniper" or the "African who did her hair so good..." LOL. Sommore is Nia's half-sister from her father.

Good lookin' genes run in this womans' FAMILY!! LOL!!!

{Pictures of the property of their respective owners; no ownership implied.}

RETRO GODDESS: Interracial Couples - Minnie Riperton & Richard Rudolph

2011-03-10T17:31:00.001-05:00

This is the FIVE-AND-A-HALF-OCTAVES range, INCREDIBLY TALENTED and VERY BEAUTIFUL...the late, GREAT MINNIE RIPERTON.

Her stunning blend of opera, r&b, pop, rock and gospel arrangements created such awe & jaw-dropping music, it really hasn't been duplicated since.

Aside from her various hits, Riperton is perhaps best remembered today for her ability to sing in the whistle register, in which she had rare facility.

She has also been credited for her ability to sustain notes in the sixth and seventh octave for long periods of time, as in Reasons, Could It Be I'm in Love, Adventures in Paradise, and Inside My Love and also Love Me Now with the Rotary Connection. In her recordings. Riperton's highest recorded note reached in the whistle register was F7 on the third scale of You Take My Breath Away Minnie reached this extremely high note before on an early recording of Teach Me How To Fly and Could It Be I'm In Love.

Her ability to imitate many instruments helped lead to Riperton's discovery while she was a secretary at Chess Records. She has some 60's songs, although she is best known for her 70's hits such as "Loving You", "Back Down Memory Lane", "If I Ever Lose This Heaven", just to name a few others.

Mariah Carey has noted Minnie as one of her inspirations as they BOTH have HIGH OCTAVE ranges.

Minnie was married to songwriter and music producer Richard Rudolph from 1972 until her death in the summer of 1979. They had two children - a son, music engineer Marc Rudolph and the lovely actress/comedienne Maya Rudolph.

Even at SUCH a young age, you can totally tell that is Maya in her fathers' arms in the picture above. Maya looks JUST LIKE her mother, doesn't she...wow.

There's a rumor/fact that says that at the end of the original recording of "Lovin' You", Minnie can be heard whispering lovingly to her young daughter if you listen closely, you can hear her saying..."Maya, Maya, Maya..." {sigh}...Just Beautiful.

In January 1976 Riperton was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a radical mastectomy. By the time of diagnosis, the cancer had metastasized and she was given about six months to live. Despite the grim prognosis, she continued recording and touring. Riperton was one of the first celebrities to go public with her breast cancer diagnosis, but did not disclose that she was terminally ill. In 1977, she became spokesman for the American Cancer Society.

She died in her husband Richards' arms at Cedars Sinai in Los Angeles at the age of 31 on July 12, 1979.

Her widower, Richard, is shown here in more recent pictures.

I have personally visited Minnie Ripertons' grave at the Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetary in Los Angeles, California...and YES, I took pictures. It's a VERY popular cemetary with a HUGE HOST of some of the WORLDS MOST FAMOUS residents.

As shown, her headstone is inscribed with the lyrics of her most famous song..."Lovin' You, Is Easy 'Cause Your Beautiful." She really was.

{All pictures and videos are the property of their respective owners. No ownership implied.}

INTERRACIAL COUPLE{S} WATCH - TV - SOUTHLAND

2011-03-04T15:59:00.000-05:00

THIS is the AWESOME cast of the TNT hit series, SOUTHLAND.

I LOVE, ADORE, ADMIRE AND I'M ENTRALLED with this show.

The writing is OFF THE HOOK, the acting, SUPERB. I can't say enough praise and I HIGHLY recommend it.

As you may {or may not} know, SOUTHLAND first aired on NBC...but since they "lack a pair", they canceled it and the smart folks at TNT picked it up, ordered additional episodes and we fans have been thoroughly entertained by some incredibly raw, pure and VERY WELL written drama for the past three months.

The focus of this particular post is the "watch" for two interracial couples on this series. It may happen, it may not.

These IR "pairings" are between Det. Lydia Adams {played to perfection by the incredibly GORGEOUS Regina King} and the romantic interest of her by Officer Rodrigo Morales....the other is with training Officer Ben Sherman and Kaya {the waitress, black}. These scenes were from episode eight and nine, which recently aired.

Now, let's start with Ben and Kaya, because that was more...flirting. But I'm mentioning this ...well, for obvious reasons; it is an interracial pairing. But is also underscores the ability of black women to SUCCESSFULLY "flirt" with white men. I'd hoped I could show you this scene, because it was effortless and kinda brilliant to see in action.

I will excerpt it here, as best as I can, along with the pics to show the scene.

OFFICER BEN SHERMAN & KAYA

Ben is eating breakfast in a diner at the counter and Kaya is his waitress. The seat next to Ben is his partners', John...who is in the "john", and Johns' breakfast is sitting there getting cold.

Anyway...Kaya goes to refill Bens' coffee and asks him..."Can I get you anything else?"

Ben replies, "No, I'm fine."

"Well, that's certainly true," replies Kaya, to which Ben takes notice, they SMILE at each other and begin flirtatious small talk of sorts. Kaya learns Ben is ready to get off probation as a training officer, Ben learns Kaya wants to sing, likes football, has older brothers and her father is a cop. Ben is INTERESTED.

There's one point where Kaya has to tend to her other patrons and she tells Ben she'll be back, to which Ben replies, "Well, I hope so." Kaya laughs and it's really cute to see them flirt.

When Bens' partner re-appears from the restroom, he declines to eat and exits, ending Bens' time with Kaya. Ben pays the bill, tells Kaya to keep the change and turns to leave.

HOWEVER, Kaya insists he take his receipt, which he at first declines until she hands it to him, clearly displaying her phone number on this receipt...Ben HAPPILY accepts it. This was EXTREMELY cute to watch.

There's TWO things to point out about this particular pairing/scene:

FIRST: Ben is an ultra-wealthy, WHITE man. His family is wealthy and Ben chooses to be a cop. He has been paired with white and latin women, even a "cougar"...LOL. Those were all to no avail..but this was a natural interaction between these two, so, we'll see what happens. Now, this may lead nowhere {with Kaya}, but it would be VERY interesting to watch!! Unfortunately, we may have to wait on this, because there is only ONE EPISODE LEFT for this season. Let's hope it at least gets started.

SECOND: A lot of black women ask all the time how they would "know" if a white man would be interested in dating a black woman and a scene like this SHOWS....this is extremely plausible. I can tell you ... Ben wasn't wearing a sign on him that said "all can apply". It was Kayas' CONFIDENCE that told her...hey, that guy is fine; I want me some. LOL. And she went "after" it...Ben ALMOST LEFT without asking for her number...he was LEAVING, even though they had chemistry...it was Kaya who took the initiative and gave him her number.

CONFIDENCE...is the biggest turn-on!!! Remember that.

DET. LYDIA ADAMS & OFFICER RODRIGO MORALES

Det. Adams is at the firing range and Ofc. Morales is a firearms training officer. Lydia admires and overhears Rodrigos' technique AND sees his shooting abilities {Lydia even uses one of Rodrigos pointers during a life-threatening situation which SAVES HER LIFE later in this episode}.

Lydia asks Rodrigo for advice, which he gladly gives her. The moment they meet and introduce themselves, you can see the sparks between them. Lydia smiles, bright and wide, and appreciates his advice. Rodrigo checks Lydia OUT, thoroughly, LOL; they BOTH check each other out!!!

Later, Rodrigo stops by Lydias' desk to ask her out, which she almost turns down but finally accepts.

For those of us who watch this show, we WANT THIS for Lydia...its been tough on her "relationship-wise" AND friendship-wise...so this feel RIGHT...right off the bat. We want her to get this, to have this.

UNFORTUNATELY...turns out Rodrigo is...**SPOILER ALERT**...Lydias' PARTNERS' SON.

Of course, Rodrigo knew this, but Lydia did NOT. Rodrigo believes they are both adults and this shouldn't be a problem, but...c'mon. He's her partners' KID...CHILD...BABY, no matter how old. LOL.

Ya can't screw yours friends' grown kids...no matter what...right? Its' just....WRONG. LOLOL. I guess, you know, they are adults and this could really be good. But, I think Lydia at least needs to change partners first. Then...it wouldn't be so bad, I guess. I'm rationalizing of course, LOL. Why not, who knows. Everybody is SOMEBODY'S KID.

ANYWAY...check out SOUTHLAND on TNT, Tuesday nights, 10PM eastern. EXCELLENT SHOW....EXCELLENT!!!

BEAUTY OF THE DAY: For The Fellas - REGINA KING - Actress / Producer

2011-03-03T13:48:00.000-05:00

THIS is the ABSOLUTELY STUNNING, BEAUTIFUL and TALENTED actress, Regina King.

Regina has been acting all of her life, from a child actress on shows like 227 to her current hit show on TNT, Southland; then there's the major motion pictures like Boyz In The Hood, Jerry Maguire, Enemy of the State, just a name a few .

Regina is 40 yrs old and has a son. She has been linked romantically at this moment with Nicholas Gonzalez.

I just LOVE Regina. She's never compromised her values for the sake of her career and has always been a GREAT actress.

She's a natural beauty and definitely a GORGEOUS black woman.

EYE CANDY WISH LIST: Wentworth Miller

2011-03-03T10:58:00.000-05:00

THIS!!!.......{as I compose myself}....is the ULTRA SCRUM-DILLY-UMPTIOUSLY HOT and SEXY Wentworth Miller.

Ummm...the eyes. The EYES, I said. SULTRY. SEDUCTIVE. BEAUTIFUL. Goes on FOR-EVER. I can stare into them while I....um, wait, what...ok, I'm saying this out loud, so I'll attempt to control my....feelings. LOL.

I first noticed him on the show PRISON BREAK. I just LOVE his ultra-preppy name, Wentworth. "Oh, Wentworth, Darling," LOL. SMH.

Wentworth starred in a couple of Mariah Careys' videos, "We Belong Together" and "It's Like That", looking AB-SO-LUTELY F-IIIIIINE!! So, I've included the aforementioned video, courtesy of Youtube.

So ladies, take it all in...don't hurt yourself, though. His "sexual orientation" is in "dispute". Dang.

{Pictures/Video are the property of their respective owners. No ownership implied nor suggested.}

INTERRACIAL TV COUPLE - Guinivere and Arthur - MERLIN / SyFy

2011-03-02T16:36:00.000-05:00

This is the story of King Arthur of Camelot and his love for his maidservant in this updated version of this tale which this time, features an interracial couple on the SyFy TV series, Merlin.

Merlin centers around the shenanigans of the charming but clumsy magician, {played by actor Colin Morgan}, who is King Arthurs' best friend; but it also focuses on the love story between the two main characters, King Arthur {played by actor Bradley James} and Guinivere or Gwenivere {played by actress Angel Coulby}.

As you can see, the role of Gwen/Guin, who has almost always been traditionally played by white actresses, is this time played by the beautiful Angel, who is black.

This is an international version of this show. I believe its shot in the U.K., most likely Ireland.

She is paired with the delicious young blonde Arthur as they handle mishaps and adventures with Merlins' assistance...or hindrance, LOL...its pure comedy sometimes watching them interact.

However, as you can see, its a very beautiful pairing. I'm think they confirmed a fourth season, so it should be returning very shortly now.

Be sure and support shows that "feature" couples like us.

{Pictures are the property of their respective owners. No ownership implied nor suggested.}

DILEMMA: What constitutes RACE? The debate of the "One Drop Rule"

2011-02-24T13:59:00.000-05:00

HELP ME OUT, HERE. I've written several stories on this blog regarding race and racial relations, womens issues, dating, marriage, etc...I'm having a WONDERFUL time doing so. I've learned, I've explored, It's been amazing, STILL is.

I've gotten a couple of comments I wish to address in this post.

Now....I LOVE MY POSTERS....I DO, SO PLEASE...don't let this stop or dissuade you. NOT AT ALL. This blog is for knowledge, education, awareness, guidance, etc....we're here to help each other understand, so let's talk about this, alright. DON'T take this personally.

OK....Someone pointed out to me that Paula Patton is "Bi-Racial, FYI"...now, I'm not mad, not at all. Just wondering about the...need for clarification as to her racial makeup as the FIRST classification of her race instead of the color of her skin...c'mon now, stay with me: this is all for conversation, so let's do this.

And then again, another person STRAIGHT UP pointed out to me that Marta Cunningham is "Bi-Racial", NOT black; I don't take it personally....really, I don't. It's all good.

But, {lol}...I couldnt help but wonder...how should I take these statements, exactly. There's actually several ways I took those statements.

The first being...why the Paula Patton statement referred to her, SPECIFICALLY, as a Bi-Racial woman and not a BLACK woman. In first view of Paula, she...looks like a BLACK woman...not dark-skinned nor even mid-tone brown, but LIGHT-SKINNED, nonetheless, a BLACK WOMAN.

Even Paula herself has stated that she considers herself a BLACK WOMAN...that's good, because SHE IS. And she has never proclaimed to be anything other than a black woman.

For the Marta Cunningham statement...I'm just...beside myself in laughter and some shock because...I used the pictures to show the obvious {besides that they are a BEAUTIFULLY STUNNING COUPLE} difference as that was the focus of my post...an interracial marriage. I didn't believe I was offending anyone nor undermining ones' race.

Now...another point I'm wondering about from these two points of view brought to my attention is: So? So what if she's considered a "BLACK" woman? Is there something wrong with being referred to as a "black" woman? Do they need to be...elevated to another...or BETTER status than that of a black woman? Why the need to...separate them as "Bi-racial" instead of....BLACK?

Why was it necessary for this to be "pointed out" for me to "clarify" that these aren't "black" women, but "bi-racial" women?! Is this the new normal? Is it a "race within a race?" IS it just related to the black race or also Jewish, Italian, Greek, Indian...if you're more Italian than Irish, are you Italian...or if you're more Asian than white, are you considered white...more Jewish than black, are you Jewish? What is it, then? TELL me...THIS inquiring mind WANTS to know...LOL.

What's the real issue behind those statements...is it that they are true? Or...that they are factual? Alright, yes to BOTH. Guess what's also true AND factual? They are BOTH BLACK WOMEN. BLACK and BEAUTIFUL WOMEN...not just "bi-racial" as they would BOTH POINT OUT THEMSELVES...but BLACK.

Paula has even said that she finds the term "bi-racial" OFFENSIVE...she DOESN'T LIKE IT. That's what she said.

THIS MUST BE the reason why Gabriel Aubry is fighting with Halle Berry about the race of their daughter, Nahla. Supposedly, Gabe HATES his daughter being referred to as "Black" while Halle, who has ALWAYS considered herself a BLACK woman, ALSO REFERS to her daughter as BLACK. Halle went even further in declaring her point as to quote the controversial and racist {but legal} notion of the "One Drop Rule" of racial ethnicity....being, whatever RACE and RELIGION of the mother, so {I believe also} LEGALLY goes the child. NOT always, but I'll try to clarify that ahead.

Is it REALLY that...detrimental to be a BLACK woman that there needs to be a clarification of the makeup of these women that are of mixed-race?

I know it's indoctrination...I KNOW this...I'm a black woman and I have mixed-race children. My children, for some time, considered themselves WHITE; in their young age, they already KNOW, but I've clarified that; they are PROUD BLACK CHILDREN of MIXED RACE, but BLACK nonetheless. Because, they are mixed-race, but legally BLACK children. Bottom line.

About the one-drop rule, think of it this way...there are PLENTY of people who have mixed-race children. Those offspring are sometimes more obvious of their make-up, some are NOT. Mariah Carey LOOKS WHITE; she'll tell you she's BLACK, then of mixed race. Paula Patton DOES NOT look white, she looks BLACK, yes mixed, but BLACK. Derek Jeter looks...LATIN, actually.

Tiger Woods looks BLACK. See what I mean. Tigers' crazy ass even made up a race for himself, calling himself ... dang, what was it again ... I wanna say "Blasian", but it was more than that; Blasian is a widely-used term, where the one Tiger "made up" was for him alone on this planet; it was CRAZY, LOL. I can't remember at this moment what he called it, but he did NOT want to be referred to as a "Black" man. Even take a look at Tigers' children...even with a lily-white SWEDISH BLONDE ex-wife, their children LOOK BLACK; mixed-race, but BLACK.

You notice now, though...Tiger IS BLACK NOW that he's fallen from grace in society eyes; he's DEFINITELY a black man now. Y'all KNOW what I'm talking about.

So, help me out here....what am I missing?! Since when is it alright to make an entire new race classification instead of being referred to as "Black" or whatever racial group you most resemble? Is it right or acceptable to not be specified to a certain group? Maybe...it SHOULD be...or is it merely a preference that is ever-changing AND rising in numbers and should be classified as such.

Tell me....HELP ME understand, I really want to know...LOL.

{No Copyright Infringement Intended. Pics Are the Property Of Their Respective Owners.}

INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE - James Frain, English/White Actor and Wife, Marta

2011-02-23T15:39:00.000-05:00

This is actor James Frain. You may not be familiar with his name, but you've most likely seen his work. He's extremely accomplished and is what is considered in Hollywood, a character actor; he's very well versed and popular AND GOOD at what he does.

James has an EXTENSIVE resume of acting from television to theater to film including MAJOR MOTION PICTURES and extremely popular shows.

From True Blood to 24 to Californication to The Cape to Tron, the CSI and Law&Order Series, Greys Anatomy, The Tudors, etc., etc....this is one VERY BUSY ACTOR.

He married actress Marta Cunningham in 2004 and they have two children.

I first saw James in the 2000 movie "Where The Heart Is" starring Natalie Portman and Ashley Judd. I knew he was a great actor as are those two women, so I was shocked to see ALL THREE {and a few more, too} in this "midwestern" kinda-sappy love story movie...it was a cute movie though, and I liked "Forney" {his character in that movie}, very much.

Needless to say, I'm very thrilled that he has a beautiful black wife. They look very happy together and they make a beautiful couple.

{No Copyright Infringement Intended. Pics Are the Property Of Their Respective Owners.}

BEAUTY OF THE DAY: Jessica White - Sports Illustrated 2011

2011-02-19T14:35:00.000-05:00

This is the incredibly stunning Jessica White. She's a beautiful model and these pics and video are from the Sports Illustrated 2011 edition.

{Video and pics courtesy of Bossip.Com}

Jessica has been linked romantically to several high profile men, including Sean Penn {ah, no...lol}, Ne-Yo, John Legend and Taylor Kitsch.

Although she models regularly doing editorials and runway shows, Jessica has graced the pages of Sports Illustrated for several years now.

EYE CANDY WISH LIST: Vampire Vs. Werewolf - Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner

2011-02-16T15:50:00.000-05:00

GORGEOUS....doesn't even begin to describe this scruffy, rough-around-the-edges handsome mouth-waterin' man, ROBERT PATTINSON.

Of course, he's best known as the very charming and gentlemanly, stunningly beautiful, chivalrous and extremely romantic, EDWARD CULLEN from the epic series, TWILIGHT.

You know what ticks me off sometimes...when are WE going to have a man like THIS portrayed loving US the way Edward LOVES Bella....huh?!

Guess we'll have to make our own stories, ladies.

It's our turn to find this kind of incredible love, spirit and passion in our lives that we can turn into amazing love stories.

THIS SCENE {pictured right}...is when Edward and Bella first "met"; he painfully endured and resisted killing her, then hastily fled to escape her scent. I absolutely LOVE this scene. Edward is SOOOO hot and seductive without even so much as saying a single word!

His body type, however, does not HOLD A CANDLE to his nemesis and arch rival to his true love, Bella.

In New Moon, when Edward was in despair believing Bella was dead, he attempted to expose himself so the Volturi would destroy him by removing his shirt. It was like...a slow-motion reveal - my eyes were buggin', mouth hanging open, I was wild with desire and then, I was left...sorely disappointed. LOL...what, Edward...but he's from the early 1900s...thats when he "died" as well, and they weren't all into muscles back then, so I guess it's appropriate. I certainly would still take any chance I got. LOL.

{CUE AC/DC "Jail Bait"}

THIS..........is THE BODY of this series, hands down!!!

This is the INCREDIBLY SMOOTH, SUAVE AND SEXILICIOSO, TAYLOR LAUTNER.

Taylor plays JACOB BLACK, the werewolf love interest/arch rival of the series who's also madly in love with Bella.

Now...I feel kinda bad...but not for long; I mean, he's grown INTO himself!! LOL.

But I watched Taylor practically grow up, even watching him as recently as a couple of nights ago in SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL with my babies. They like his acrobatics in that movie...and mommy is eye-balling him from the Twilight series....hum-di-hum-hum....LOL.

Taylor just turned NINETEEN {19} years old. That's still legal, right. LOL. But...he's still a teenager. Dang!! LOL. DEFINITELY off limits!!!!

So....if I had to make a choice, I would pick with no reservation whatsoever....BOTH!!!!!! LOLOL.

HOWEVER...since NEITHER is ever likely to happen in this lifetime, I would have to make the fantasy choice.

That choice would be....Taylor/Jakes' body with Robert/Edwards' soul....the PERFECT MAN!!!!!

LOL....Smh.

INDOCTRINATION: Societal Suppression Of Black Female Beauty, Pt. 2

2011-02-12T12:55:00.015-05:00

The sun seems to finally be setting on a "brand" of humor and humiliation that has plagued black women since the beginning of all things recognizable. Some might argue against that...and it may be so, but I refuse to be on the negative side of that argument. There IS a positive side that is WORKING.

I'm using the picture above to show us - as black women - watching this part of our suffering as it begins its demise for those of us who REFUSE to be identified with the seemingly normal and degrading depiction of "us" in mainstream media, pop culture and life in general.

Now....I'm not the only one that has noticed, as of late, a brand new streaming of "black woman bashing" commercials going on on national television.

I will only MENTION them in writing here as they are not WORTHY of being represented NOR viewed in video, in my selfish and stubborn opinion on this matter.

Here are TWO of the {most recent} high profile offenders:

A}. Pepsi Superbowl Commercial.

FIRST: DON'T get me started on {the "black womans"} badly-done hair. That may sound vain....not entirely, but of course. Who wouldn't want to look their BEST on national television...however, they portrayed her/"us" as "attempting" to look attractive. BIG difference. If you don't get that, you never will.

Make NO mistake, that was done on PURPOSE to show "us" in a NEGATIVE LIGHT; to SHOW us as being "wanna-be" or what they believe we "ARE"...we WANNA have that pretty hair or look pretty---then shows the audience what they believe we "are" - I'll leave assumption that to the negative seekers.

Pepsi is a MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR corporation. They couldn't have used NATURAL hair OR a LACE FRONT wig OR WEAVE on this...."model"...she sold herself AND the REST OF US, OUT with that "look". NO EXCUSES...if you got a job like that, demand some level of RESPECT. "They" ALWAYS find someone willing to sell their soul...and ours!!!!

SECOND: this commercial started off as an angry black woman, always nagging "the black man", taking away from him, picking on him, belittling him, degrading him...and him {the VICTIM, mind you} just taking it, taking it, taking it...to the point where they are sitting in the park while she's enjoying her Pepsi; then comes along another woman, who sits close to them and it is THAT woman HE pays respect to AND that woman SHOWS HIM RESPECT - AND INTEREST, with just a simple smile...and she is a white woman....a BLONDE, too. The ULTIMATE white woman {so they say...LOL..."ya don't say"...riiiight, whatever!} LOLOL.

So what does this "black woman" do? Throws her Pepsi can at the black man, MISSING him, but STRIKING the WHITE WOMAN, who is INJURED...and the black couple FLEE the scene TOGETHER, leaving this injured woman on the ground...THAT'S THE COMMERCIAL!!! SMH.

That SPEAKS VOLUMES about "their" perception of....black women {unattractive, jealous, angry, violent}, black men {always running from any and ALL responsibility} and white women {being victimized by BLACKS - male AND female - OR black people in GENERAL being a threat to whites, period.}

Get it???? Got it??? GOOD!!!!

Now, don't write me about being paranoid; no sir, no ma'am. Just a REALIST. Just someone {and those like me who refuse be be identified as such} who has {and may or very well, WILL} SUFFER from these stereotypical "suggestions". This isn't about conspiracies, it's about FACT AND EXPERIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO NOT think for a mere MOMENT that that wasn't all CHOREOGRAPHED to PERFECTION to cast black women in the WORST NEGATIVE LIGHT and during what is the most WATCHED PERIOD of advertising, period, the SUPERBOWL , for goodness sakes. Pepsi certainly made their point...black women are "fake", "angry", "bossy", "mean" AND JEALOUS of WHITE WOMEN, especially BLONDES.

That's the message that was CONVEYED...it was LOUD AND CRYSTAL C-L-E-A-R!!!!!

B}. Nicki Minaj on Saturday Night Live {SNL}.

A few weeks back, Ms. Minaj was on SNL. *SIGHS*.

Guest host was the lilly-white, JEWISH Jesse Eisenberg.

Now, we all {should} know that Nicki is the protege of the dark-skinned, self-hating-and-black-woman-hating Lil {as in lil-to-no brains, morals, ethics, soul, etc} Wayne. Nicki used to have darker-skin, but Wayne "saw" to that. She had an average black booty too, but, Wayne also "whored-out her look" to the max for HIS profit...and she really believes he's "helping" her....yes Nicki, he is....to DESTROY yourself AND other black women as well. He's doing real good at it, too....but, I digress.

So, it should come as no surprise that Nicki went on SNL and spoofed "The Bride of Blackenstein", I believe it was; making ALL BLACK WOMEN EVERYWHERE, all SHADES of black women, look like the COONS and BUFFOONS that the audience and ALL {black women & black people hating folks} WATCHING and HOPING--really believe and/or WANT TO BELIEVE "we" {especially black women} actually are.

Oh, don't worry. SNL also provided a couple of black "males" - since no real "men" would do this - to ALSO demean and regress themselves, {as black men} and black women, as SNL/NBC wanted it portrayed here.

SO....Nicki sits up and "comes alive" and the FIRST THING she does - is shake her jelly ass; camera all up on it, close-up, etc. The two buffoons in the room equate her worth with ONLY the size of her ass....cause when she opens her mouth to speak, it's degrading blaxploitation JIVE, STUPIFIED rhetoric, worthy only of the Purple Velvet "Crown Royal" Bag Ghetto Projects Hood Rat Award.

To make matters WORSE...yes, it did get worse....Jesse Eisenberg utters from his MOUTH...how he came to "make" this bride...he got her bits and parts from various places in a series of humiliating statements, INCLUDING her MOUTH...which he got from a "HOE WHO DIDN'T KNOW HER PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I.........stopped watching at that point. All I could do was look at Nicki....who was just standing there, in room full of "males" UTTERLY DISRESPECTFUL not only to her, but ALL BLACK WOMEN; in front of an audience, on NATIONAL TELEVISION, in front of the WORLD...and she's a willing party to this. I would feel pity for her if I believed she deserved it, but I reserved that sorrow for the "rest of us" who have to endure the consequences of the actions of a few like these.

Do you think Jesse Eisenberg...OR SNL, NBC, PEPSI....would've done that to...let's say, Natalie Portman...or Cameron Diaz...Jennifer Aniston, Christina Hendricks, Katy Perry, JLo, Brooklyn Decker, Angelina Jolie, etc., etc.?

NOT EVER ON THIS PLANET NOR IN THIS LIFETIME, EVER!!!!! That would NEVER, EVER HAPPEN.

I couldn't even tell if the audience really even liked it. NO ONE BOOED this fiasco. NO ONE DARED TO.

I've also recently heard of a BOUNCE {fabric softener} commercial where a full-size black woman is also "shown" in full buffoonery-style as well, but I don't need to elaborate...you get the picture.

One of my friends told me that she honestly believes it's a foreplay to the 2012 elections, to be honest. An attempt to diminish respect not only for black women, but also for the most POWERFUL black woman in politics at the moment, Michelle Obama.

Do you understand what that really means....to me, it means the following:

We, as BLACK WOMEN, have LOTS OF "CERTAIN PEOPLE and/or GROUPS"...WORRIED, CONCERNED, THEIR ATTENTION, etc., etc.

They have felt our arrival, our UPRISING...no matter how slow nor small {but growing} as it may be....They KNOW we're HERE!!! Not just here, but VISIBLE and making a DIFFERENCE; in contrast, they are trying to "show us" as they "prefer" us to be seen ... in a negative light.

WE ARE MAKING WAVES. WE'VE GOT THEIR ATTENTION. TIME TO USE IT and USE IT WELL, TO OUR ADVANTAGE!!!!!

Think about it...for them to use such a large-scale platform for our public humiliation and degradation means we are getting ahead and the "applicable" POWERS-THAT-BE, are attempting to show us...."our place". They are attempting to "slow us down" or "grind us to a halt"; to send us back "into hiding" or self-doubt.

Their actions are meant to invoke self-hatred and shame, y'all...HURTFUL, nonetheless, but DO NOT let "THEM" stop NOR distract NOR slow you down.

I say.....KUDOS to "US", LADIES, who REFUSED TO be categorized NOR stereotyped in this demeanor. We're showing them AND we're MAKING our presence KNOWN. We may not have the platform, but what little we DO HAVE {and WILL GET/EARN} is already MAKING WAVES, getting attention, GETTING NOTICED.

I recognize and appreciate the silver-lining in this disturbing trend; and I use the word "trend" lightly here, because this is nothing new for black women to be the "butt of the joke"; BUT...as of late, it's becoming "approachable" once more to make "us", {black women}, the "donkey" to pin the tail on.

Let us SHOW THEM....that is NOT ACCEPTABLE. NOT AT ALL, NOT ANYMORE, NOT EVER!!!

HOW do we "show" them? MONEY TALKS...don't endorse their products. We as black women have TREMENDOUS FINANCIAL POWER...we just don't recognize nor use it to our advantage...not enough. Let's make a stand.

Also, through EDUCATION, SUCCESS, just GETTING AHEAD in this WORLD. BEING SUCCESSFUL is the BEST REVENGE.

So, with that...I'M VERY PLEASED....VERY PLEASED that we have made OUR statement SO LOUD, that this is their attempt to "destroy" us. WE'RE DOING IT, LADIES....IT'S WORKING. WE'RE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT AND EFFICIENT, AS WELL.

Let's keep up the EXCELLENT WORK and show them ALL that we are BLACK, CLASSY, SMART, EDUCATED, DESIRED, SUCCESSFUL, LOVING...AND BEAUTIFUL.

Let's DO THIS!!!!! I LOVE THIS PROUD, BLACK AND BEAUTIFUL SISTERHOOD.

HONESTY: Does Anyone Tell The TRUTH Anymore?

2011-02-09T14:12:00.000-05:00

The astute, BRILLIANT and fabulously marvelous Maya Angelou once said:

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them."

This statement...this proclamation, this quote...in and of itself, speaks VOLUMES.

This is what stories are made of, lives are lived by {or wasted by}. This is the story of how God made the perfect man {and woman} and how far they/we have fallen because of sin, self-destruction and selfishness. I mean this is more than a Biblical sense, its is all of MAN-kind, man AND woman.

Empires have risen AND fallen over this; love and hate, success and failure, right and wrong, the implications, the sources, the absolute essence of this quote and every word in it, is immensely PROFOUND.

It speaks a lot about truth...about honesty. About being true to ones' self.

It also speaks the truth about dishonesty, naivete, innocence and losing ones' self.

Let us break down the quote, shall we...lets see. I will try to write this so it applies to men and women as I ... interpret them in my own understanding of this.

"When"...this applies to whether whoever or whomever you're dealing with ever decides to tell you the truth. It could be from the get-go...or after years...or never.

"Someone"...this could be anyone: mother, father, lover, spouse, partner, siblings, friends, boss, frenemy, etc., etc. For the sake of this post, we will use this for relationships {marriage and dating}.

"Shows"...*sighs*...the selection of this word is also very telling, very profound in its origin.

Maya said "shows"...not tells nor says, SHOWS!!! Actions are LOUDER than words, but unfortunately for most if not all of us, we are willfully BLIND to it. Words...are POWERFUL. They can make or break anything that is properly {or improperly} placed. Words can build...words can DESTROY. But TRUTH, DOESN'T LIE. You must SEE IT, to BELIEVE IT; and/or...suffer the consequences.

If "they" only "tells you..or only says" to you; WITHOUT the actions, those words are lies. Dishonesty. Pure and simple.

For example...person suspects spouse/partner is cheating, and walks in on {them} having sex with someone else. Person looks on, perplexed and cheater stops long enough to ask...what are you going to believe...what I tell you, or your lying eyes?

For some people, for a LOT of people, the answer, the unbelievable CHOICE...is the LATTER. They DOUBT themselves over what is blatantly obvious, over what they already KNOW to be FACT...its called denial OR stupidity. Both, EITHER will cost you BIG.

OR another example...man dating tells his girlfriend {and I've been through this...if you're dating, both of you are SINGLE...but, I digress}...man dating tells his girlfriend "she's the special one" out of his many women "friends". THAT ONE...is popular and sadly, WORKS almost every time. That man is SHOWING YOU - WHAT he IS...whether you believe the TRUTH {that he is LYING TO YOU} is up to you.

I can write forever on that, but if you don't understand those simple comparisons, you'll have to learn the hard way. Experience is a good teacher; it's what you DO with that lesson LEARNED that determines where that experience will take you...forward or perpetually running-in-place. If you don't get it, then experience awaits you...and it WILL cost you in life, time, pain, sorrow and regret.

"You"...that's simple enough...YOU. Some weaken themselves by settling for what they know is not good, is not TRUE...if it looks too good to be true, it should be PROVEN true...not TOLD or SPOKEN as true. SEE IT for yourself..and SEE IT AS IT IS. Don't sell yourself short...you'll end up ROBBED.

"Who They Are"...ok, this one can get complicated, but here goes. "Who" this person is...let's use an example...who is this person "saying" they are as opposed to who they ACT AS they are as opposed to who they REALLY are...to break that down, this person can "say" ANYTHING...according to that "philosophy", they can also "BE" anything...so, they can AND WILL SELL YOU...the bridge in Brooklyn. Make NO mistake, hundreds of MILLIONS of people buy this bridge all the time. Dishonest people, LIARS - SAY ONE THING and ALWAYS DOES ANOTHER. DON'T BELIEVE IT. Most will actually DENY this obvious "SHOWING" of who this person REALLY IS; a LIAR - a DISHONEST person. DON'T trust a DISHONEST person.

"Believe Them"...why would you NOT believe what someone is "telling" you? You can, it might be the truth, but if it isn't, it'll be at YOUR expense.

So why not give them the benefit of the doubt? Because...they can "TELL" YOU ANYTHING. It is naive and an injustice to yourself to just freely give the benefit of the doubt SIMPLY because someone, anyone, "tells" you so. They should EARN IT.

ONLY THEN will you KNOW and UNDERSTAND ... WHO THEY ARE....or you find out {through experience} WHAT they are.

The truth...it's a beautiful thing. It's raw, it's pure and HONEST. It can cut like a KNIFE. It can HURT.

But the beautiful and most important part of truth is that....it can set you free. Try it...SEE for yourself.

INTERRACIAL MOVIE - Lakeview Terrace - Kerry Washington & Patrick Wilson

2011-02-08T12:25:00.001-05:00

This is the 2008 movie, LAKEVIEW TERRACE, starring Samuel L. Jackson, Kerry Washington and Patrick Wilson.

When I first saw this movie, I have to say....I wasn't quite smitten with it. I mean, it was cute, suspenseful. But the overall sense of this movie irritated me...a LOT.

For those who don't know this movie, it's about a black racist cop {Jackson}, a twenty-eight year veteran of the LAPD who terrorizes his new next-door neighbors because they are an interracially married couple {Washington & Wilson}.

The full details of this movie from Wiki are listed here.

Here we have a BRILLIANT actor, Samuel, being a VERY effective playing a hardened racist. But he's also clearly misogynistic, chauvinistic, overbearing and extremely controlling.

I completely abhor when men behave like this...and he played it so well. Maybe...he just ran a tough household...I mean, he was teaching them to speak properly, right....yeah, right. It's sad to realize, to know, that this actually DOES happen out there. It DOES exist.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W79_SnuAK6w This link takes you to Youtube, where you can actually watch the entire movie in a separate 10-minute, 9-part series. {courtesy trinak25}...or you can watch the first steamy scene below.

I can't even say for sure if it bothered me most that it was Abel, a BLACK man, who didn't "approve" of their marriage and made it his mission in life to make their life as miserable as possible. This does seem to be a common theme with most black men towards black women and white men relationships, hypocritically and freely interjecting their unjust and unwanted opinion while choosing non-bw women for themselves and trying real hard to deny us our choice. This movie just seemed too close to home for me...and made me mad at those kinds of "men". Unfair, whatever. I don't care, it's my feelings on that subject.

I felt horrible for his children. How in the world do you escape that. I suppose his late wifes' sister TRIED, but with him as the surviving parent, she had no control over his behavior towards her niece and nephew.

Yes, they should NOT have been making love, OUTDOORS, in their pool; they live next to KIDS - AND....eh, not too wise in this techie day and age. And YES, Chris got caught smoking weed. YES, Lisa should NOT have tricked him into becoming pregnant. But, hey...that is the life of many people. Neighbors sure can suck major sometimes. LOL.

I don't know. It was a a lot of story to put into one movie. It distracted and infuriated me, but I watched it....once or twice. Yeah....whatever. LOL.

IN MEMORIAM: MARINE SGT Jan Pawel Pietzrak & Quiana Jenkins-Pietrzak

2011-02-04T14:56:00.002-05:00

This is in memory of a beautiful couple and a beautiful love story.

I lost someone I truly loved, David. He is the muse for my page, My Island Sugar on Facebook.

Although I lost him in an accident, I could even begin to EVER fathom the THOUGHT of losing him {or ANYONE I love...no innocence deserves this} in the fashion that happened to this beautiful, loving couple.

This is the true story of Marine Sgt. Jan Pawel Pietrzak and his beautiful wife, Quiana Jenkins-Pietrzak were sent home to to the Lord on October 15, 2008.

Jan Pietrzak joined the Marines in 2003, became a helicopter mechanic and was sent to Iraq. After his return, he married Jenkins, whom he had met in 2005 at a party for Marines being deployed to Iraq. Jenkins, who worked for the local Black Infant Care Center, was initially reluctant to date a Marine. But Pietrzak won her over, and they were married on August 8, 2008. They bought a house in May in Winchester, an exurb of San Diego, near Camp Pendleton, and Pietrzak remained in the Marines, working as a helicopter airframe mechanic at the Marine Corps Air Station Miramar.

The details of this crime are detailed here. It's unfortunate that this District Attorney didn't see fit to try this as a hate crime, which is more than obvious that it is; hardly matters. It takes up to 30 YEARS for a Cali Death Row inmate to even get executed. Jan and Quiana were specifically targeted for this crime by these specific individuals for the sole purpose of humiliation, control and its' ultimate destruction; the robbery was just a bonus for them.

Jan and Quiana died within MONTHS of being married, but as outlined in the video below, they lived a LIFETIME!!!

I despise seeing the faces of the perpetrators in this dedication video...of course it IS necessary. We must know what the face of evil looks like...if Jan and Quiana had to look them in the face during this ordeal, we can look them in the face for their judgment. We can see them in their orange jumpsuits, trying to play it cool, like its no big deal. We can watch them go to hell where they belong. These are not even human, they are MONSTERS. One friend of mine call them inhuman...like scum human waste....SCUMAN WASTES she called them. Seems appropriate.

BTW...they may have been in the Marines...this does NOT make them MARINES...there is NOTHING, N-O-T-H-I-N-G Proud nor FEW about these THUGS. You are either a Marine...or you're NOT. A Marine is ALWAYS A MARINE. The only way to become an EX-Marine is to FUCK-UP!! Like these FUCK-UPS!!! No discipline, No honor, No Valor, No Soul. You were NEVER a REAL MARINE...and a true DISGRACE to the uniform to the fellow HONORABLE MARINES {like the MARINE you DISHONORED by murdering him and his WIFE}. You were NEVER MARINES!! COWARD PUNKS!

Why they always look like that, huh? Why they all look the damn same? Mug shots always look the same. Now they get to sit in the California prison system where the fine folks of Cali get to spend about $10 million PLUS on EACH for prosecution and incarceration for the rest of their worthless lives.

{Whew...} Well {after I've composed myself}. My SINCERE apologies for my raw honest...swearing; NOT for telling the truth.

In light of what has happened, although its so hard and I cannot even begin to IMAGINE the loved ones of Jan and Quiana torment and sorrow, I'm trying so hard to see anything positive in this...and I do.

These two are now eternally bound together, in happiness and free of harm, judgment and pain. They've gone to heaven, to Our Lord, TOGETHER and no one will EVER keep them apart, ever again.

{Pics and video are borrowed and the property of their respective owners. No ownership implied.}

THE WAY THEY WERE: Halle Berry & Gabriel Aubry

2011-02-03T12:44:00.000-05:00

*Sighs*....LOL. When a story starts off like that, it usually leads to some form of scorning; but so it goes.

This is only my opinion on this...since I simply adored this coupling and thought they were so grown up, its disappointing to see what is now developing and so I offer my opinion {even if it doesn't apply...which it really doesn't...LOL.}

This was the stunningly gorgeous duo of Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry. As of lately, both have been trying to theoretically knife each other to pieces instead of thinking of who it is they are actually fighting over...their incredibly beautiful daughter, Nahla.

This fight has not only gotten personal and very public, its gotten NASTY...and RACIAL!?!

You know, I just wrote about this in this blog post, about the difference between dating an marriage - this is a perfect example of what happens when people make their own "arrangements" and the consequences suffered as a result {mostly by Nahla in this case, TBD of course}.

Just because you're gorgeous and successful and handsome and UBER-rich {well, Halle for the latter, which is probably why Gabe filed for custody PLUS child support}...or just because you like or even love each other is not a GOOD ENOUGH reason to not establish a solid FOUNDATION for something as important as HAVING A CHILD together. YES, this would be MUCH different if this had happened in a MARRIAGE...if you disagree, you may. It certainly doesn't change the facts. A long-lasting marriage is NOT guaranteed, but its a FOUNDATION whereas dating someone is NOT. But now, these former lovebirds want the courts, i.e. LEGAL PROTECTION, to establish this foundation for them, all the while spewing vile and destructive comments and accusations at each other.

Its not an good situation...and for those who said it could've been a marriage that went south...well, to that I respond: IT WASN'T a MARRIAGE. It was a relationship; they were DATING. A NON-LEGAL means of "playing house" which more than often ends up JUST like this situation, where LEGAL means are the after-thought of how to "work things out".

Is it not selfish to DATE someone and CREATE LIFE with no solid foundation for the child{ren} of such a choice having legal protection and stability under the protection of marriage--is it really that casual to just...have a child with someone you're dating?! Is it the BEST for the child{ren}?

Now, we all get to sit back and witness this vitriolic public display of love-gone-bad with the most innocent victim of all left to deal with the circumstances.

Who knows who's at fault for this dust-up. The bottom line is they both made a decision that has created a child and {Nahla} should NOT have to suffer HER PARENTS' DECISIONS. GROW UP, take responsibility for your actions and put HER best welfare before either of yours. It's no longer about either one of you since you are no longer dating. This is the kind of thing you talk about BEFORE you decide to make a baby together.
*ALTHOUGH....Kim Kardashian?! C'mon, now. I might be upset too if you exposed my baby to that--woman....LOL, trying my best not to name-call.}

I certainly do hope that Halle and Gabe get it together - STOP playing games and slinging fault and STOP talking to the press; hash this out in PRIVATE and keep your dignity for goodness sakes...if not for yourselves, then do it for your daughter...remember her?!

STEAMY DAYTIME IR COUPLE - John & Evangeline - One Life To Live

2011-02-02T14:00:00.001-05:00

This was one of the HOTTEST BW/WM couples on daytime television and on ALL of this soap, ONE LIFE TO LIVE: the sexilicious Lt. John McBain {played by the ultra-gorgeous actor Michael Easton} and attorney Evangeline Williamson {played by the uber-beautiful Renee Goldsberry.} The video below is just a taste of the fiery attraction and undeniable chemistry between these two.

They were a couple on the popular daytime soap from 2003 through 2005; then they powers-that-be {and tons of certain women everywhere who wanted the TOP-RATED JOHN back with his own...lets tell the truth now, lol}...decided that was ENOUGH of this SUPER-HOT coupling of JOVAN {as they were lovingly referred to}, breaking these two apart.

Both went their separate ways and into other relationships.

Evangeline maintained other IR relationships and was injured because of one, slipping into a coma which also marked her departure from the show. But we all know how soaps work...one second you're presumed dead and/or gone, but then, voila!! You're back from amnesia or being kidnapped, whatever, LOL. In this case, however, its not to be.

Even though tons of viewers BEGGED for John and Evangeline to get back together, the folks at ABC decided to answer those calls....by KILLING OFF Evangeline, THREE YEARS after she'd left the show, ensuring NO chance of reconciliation. They've unceremoniously put an end to that scorching hot love affair. Their loss. There are now PLENTY of other BWWM relationships on the few remaining soaps out there...but "JOVAN" was super-HOT!!

Oh well...it was BEAUTIFUL while it lasted.

{Youtube video courtesy of twin0604 and images are the property of their respective owners. no ownership implied nor suggested.}

INTERRACIAL COUPLE - Nicole Richie & Joel Madden

2011-02-01T17:12:00.000-05:00

I think....this is such a STUNNING picture {left} of Nicole Richie, Joel Madden and their first-born child, Harlow Winter Kate Richie-Madden {whew!} LOL.

Some of us know this former wild-child Nicole all too well.

I'm VERY happy she's straightened out her act. It was truly embarrassing there for awhile.

Not only has she left her wild past behind,
she's also a designer, activist and now a proud mother of two {son is Sparrow James Midnight Madden {these names...wow, lol}; the family is pictured to the right.

Nicole recently married Joel Madden in an extravagant ceremony and all seems well in the Madden household and family.

Congrats to the beautiful couple and their lovely children.

EYE CANDY WISH LIST: Kevin Alejandro

2011-01-31T14:10:00.000-05:00

This is the exceptionally sexy AND charming latino actor, KEVIN ALEJANDRO.

We do NOT forget the love for latin men on this forum - LOL. Noooo. We LOVE latin men!!!

Kevin is one VERY busy actor. Until recently, he was one of the stars of the TNT hit show, SOUTHLAND.

So this hurts a bit that this post is in tribute to Kevins' Southland character, Nate Moretta, who was recently killed off the series. He was a REGULAR, but....so it goes as in real life; one moment you're here, the next second, gone.

His character on the show was a successful and happy family man, deeply in love with his wife, loves his children, his career a great detective and friend to Sammy, his partner and an all around super-awesome guy; not to mention, completely SU-WEEEET to look at. Southlands' Facebook Page has been littered with anger and grief over his demise.

This seems to be a regular thing for Kevins' roles lately, getting killed off. He's been killed of Ugly Betty, Sons of Anarchy, Sleeper Cell {Showtime} and now Southland.

I suppose I could get my fill of him on his other current hit show, TRUE BLOOD {HBO}; but I don't like gore as entertainment, so I'll sit that one out and just ogle at his gorgeous face until his next role.

CONTROVERSY - THE PERILS OF DATING: Getting Out Of Your Own Way

2011-01-29T15:07:00.006-05:00

Ok...by now, we've all seen the commercials for EHarmony.com or Match.com, Chemistry.com, etc., etc....

Everyone...is looking for someone it seems. There are a lot of single people out there, a lot of divorces happening...but regardless, everyone wants to be loved. Some, by more than a few people, but thats a whole other post. LOL.

It's an inherent human need....to be loved. Its also a need to be wanted and desired.

In researching for this post, I delved into the behaviorism of my single/divorced friends and colleagues and I also thought back to my own single-dom. It actually taught me a few things. I'm always willing to learn, as long as it teaches me something, whether good or bad...and these are the few things I've learned. This is only my opinion on this; I'm sure you have your own. ;)

SELF CONFIDENCE VS. PRETENSE: It seems good intentions come right outta the gate when trying to date/mate. With mostly good intentions, people do try to "connect" with someone else. They seek in each other, similarities, traits, desires, lifestyles, attractiveness, etc. However in doing this, it seems these two well-intentioned people end up {whether purposely or non-intentionally} misleading each other as to who they really are. They do this by putting only their positive attributes forward during their first meeting{s}. Now, of course you shouldnt be dishing on your or others' negative aspects {we all have them} and they will be brought forth eventually---at least, by the honest people who are serious about a relationship. But, some....level of that truly honest part of yourself SHOULD be forthcoming BEFORE you can truly move forward in dating or to develop a good relationship. Because most people withhold this information, the next scenario inevitably happens, which is the biggest destructive vice of all.

DISHONESTY:...is born out of the ashes of not being honest, LOL. Some wear their hearts on their sleeves and others just wanna hide, surprise, deny, cheat or defy.

For instance, if you're married, you have no business nor right trying to date; if you even feel the need for something/someone else, self-reflect and figure out why, THEN make a decision to either re-kindle your current marriage {if possible} OR become single FIRST, then date.

Another is....if you're "dating" others, its only moral, ethical and fair to inform those you are also dating of your practice...especially if there's physical intimacy going on.

Also, if you don't feel a connection or attraction OR if you know this is someone you could try to like but really actually don't, then you should be honest enough {not just with this person, but with yourself} to leave the situation {hopefully} as a friendly one and not give false hope nor credence to a future with this person. Its NOT a good situation for either party and a monumental waste BOTH of your time, you life and your emotions, which could lead to cheating, divorce, violence, hurt feelings, etc. It can get really ugly.

A further example is getting someone by dishonesty...whether man/woman sharing, cheating or playing games or playing people against each other, its a deal breaker for most and a regretful course of events that leaves a trail of bitterness, regret, anger and REAL broken hearts. Be HONEST...if you're lying to yourself, how and WHY should anyone else believe in you.

Patti Stanger {The Millionaire Matchmaker...yeah, yeah...I like her; a lot of her statements bear true...she needs to take her own advice to see if it works...LOL} has said this once and I believe it also:

"How the relationship FIRST starts sets the precedent for the REST OF that relationship."

It's true. If it starts with honesty and really true emotions, it has a much MUCH higher chance of success. Its not gonna be all roses and sunshine all the time, its not a perfect world...but, as opposed to starting it in a dishonest way, it will HIGHLY and most likely end in dismal FAILURE.

If its lies in the beginning, the relationship may be full of lies. If you cheat in the beginning, it MAY continue. If you weren't in love, its not likely to change...it may, but it may follow yrs and yrs of painful adjustments and indiscretions. One person I know is only in her marriage for the sake of her children alone. If it weren't for her children, she would NOT be with this man.

Not ideal situations in any of those cases...although, they could be salvaged if both parties were COMPLETELY HONEST or they were at least honest with themselves. HONESTY...is the BEST policy.

DATING VS. MARRIAGE: A lot of people think that dating means they should just continue to date for years until they are ready..or they may NEVER be ready. That's fine too, if you choose to date for the rest of your life...but REMEMBER THIS:

If you're NOT married, then you're single...even if you're dating someone, you AND THEY are still LEGALLY single; hopefully, monogamous, but still SINGLE. Even, if you date for a long period of time before you marry, you are more likely to end up in divorce or split up...go figure. {see the Patti statement above for that one; although never-married Patti also just ended her engagement after SIX YEARS; she's now complaining about being too old {she's 49, I believe} to have her own children after wasting years with this man and others. This happens ALL THE TIME.

Its not that difficult to steal someone who only "dating" someone else. Why can't they see someone else, they are single, right...no?! Some may call that a committed relationship, but its really another form of still "dating" that person. AGAIN....this may be fine and this certainly isnt calling dating couples serial cheaters, but...they fact remains, they are single. I know some may be up in arms about this, but...it is what it is.

What is the definition of dating? Your either know or you don't...be HONEST. How long are you gonna date someone who is really...SINGLE. AND...if you are single, what is the hold up? They {or you} could be looking elsewhere and you are just...dating and waiting...for?! what exactly. There should be a purpose to dating {which is marriage}. You should get to know each other and at least be monogamous, but remember, within a reasonable period of time, you should know whether this has a marital future or not and MOVE FORWARD. Otherwise, you're taking a real chance of wasting your life...for real. I've heard of people dating for ten YEARS, then breaking up...what a WASTE..of your LIFE. You can NOT get that back---AND that is also your youth, child-bearing age {for women}, its NOT a good idea at all to waste your life wondering, running wild....and NOT settling down.

This is the vetting that the very gifted Evia Moore talks about...for women, but this also applies to men. There's a period in your life when you run wild, but time NOT ONLY sneaks up on you, it flies by before you even know it.

For those who are against marriage, that's fine. As long as you realize {or ignore} that you're dating or "in a long-term relationship" with a SINGLE person; you are single also and marriage may be just a piece of paper, so that's cool if that's what you prefer....it really is.

If you are against marriage, don't write me saying you're against my view of dating...as you have a choice and an opinion, I also have mine.

I know someone who was dating a man for four years...she came home one day, he moved out and was quickly ENGAGED {and eventually married} to someone else...I comforted her, but had also told her previously that she had no foundation with this man...he was one of those who considered himself single {and HE WAS} and moved on...she merely kept him company until he found what he wanted. Sad, but true.

And NO...being in a dating relationship is NOT the same as being married...having a girlfriend/boyfriend is NOT the same as having a wife/husband. For those who don't know the difference, there's no words to help you understand it...you have to KNOW it.

Husband/Wife have not only legal protections, but also made a commitment to each other in front of God, family and friends. Even atheists get married. It's not just a piece of paper, its an institution, it's a feeling of belonging to another, its CHILDREN, hearth, HEART and HOME. Its an exclusive of pride and a sense of belonging, not just to each other, but a very enviable part of society that even those who are NOT allowed to marry want to be a part of.....IF it is rooted in HONESTY and LOVE. And don't start on the statistics of one out of two marriages or more ending in divorce...if HONESTY and PURE LOVE were at the forefront, those statistics would be lower; also re-read the dishonesty post aforementioned for other a few other reasons why this may be...nothing is foolproof nor perfect...AND one out of the two DOES work, that's FIFTY PERCENT...look at the positive and keep your mind positive.

This isn't knocking single people out there, though...not AT ALL. Its their CHOICE. But legally, boyfriend/girlfriend share their emotions, bodies...they even share kids...they share a house or apartment, coffeemaker and cars, perhaps...they share THINGS and an UNDERSTANDING {or not}....and the truth actually is...people that "date" break up at an astronomical rate more than those who are married, because its more short term {one to three dates, perhaps to weeks to months to yrs...but MUCH more frequent than marriages}. Its just not as recorded nor reported. Some do work and marry and live happily ever after...some even NEVER marry and live happily ever after...its not impossible, but highly unlikely.

It's important to know that you're actually ready for a relationship with hopes of marriage or lifetime dating if that's what you prefer. YES, it is about compromise...no one person is perfect and exactly what we were looking for; heck, we are NOT perfect.

You've watched Judy Judy...all those programs. First thing she asks is if they had a RELATIONSHIP...that they dated for X amount of years....and then they split up PROPERTY, she scorns them about playing house then asking the courts to make it fair...and it cant even be done fairly in most cases because its all materialistic in nature. Its THINGS.

That's the bottom line, though....that's what dating is in comparison to marriage and not just from a legal standpoint.

DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME: It all seems like all fun and games; don't get me wrong, you should have your fun...life is about having fun...but its not ALL ABOUT playing games or wasting time. There comes a time to grow up and take steps to plan and secure your future.

From about {age 23-27 for women, 28 for men to about age 35 for women, 36-40+ for men}...those ages of people seem to go through each other like changing their clothes...playing games, cheating, abandonment, wasting time, just kickin' it, being irresponsible, etc., etc. Then, before you know it, you reach adulthood and the landscape has changed, you're looking back at your life wondering where the time and possibilities has gone and what to do now.

Yes, people change and life happens...but if the foundation of the love you've chosen is solid, it is but another challenge for you to overcome. Easier said than done, of course, but not impossible. Love does conquer all...IF it is LOVE rooted in HONESTY.

COMMUNICATION: There are a lot of people playing games out there...in this age of technology, its a dag-gone NASTY place to date. The degrading art of texting is just one example...people cheating by texting, breaking up by texting, SEXTING, its just a slippery slope of shame.

Social networking sites has really done a GREAT disservice to human interaction and behavior as well...it has been nothing less than destructive and dividing.

There was and STILL IS a time when people TALKED and SPOKE to each other...its intimate, its straightforward {IF you are HONEST} and a lot can be solved or made clear with honest communication.

Something like texting does the opposite. Its terribly impersonal as is most online communique. You can't tell TRUE emotions as well through these forums.

Texting is TELLING, not TALKING, not speaking nor even conversing...ever notice sometimes when you text, there's never really an end to the conversation nor a reply. It's left unsaid or unaddressed. This certainly wouldn't happen if speaking in person or even on the phone...{save fighting} you wouldn't just walk away and not respond...texting can be fun...but there is NO substitute for human touch, contact or communication.

Communication is personal, one-on-one AND ongoing process that {hopefully} has a means to an end. Its more intimate and therefore a PLUS.

The truth also counts for a TON in effective communication. Its IMPORTANT to be TRUTHFUL in your communication otherwise, again, you're wasting your time and efforts. Who wants to be with a liar and game-player...that shit gets OLD and even despicable once you reach adulthood...and by adulthood, I mean when you look at your life and have the dreams, achievements and loves in your life that you'd always wanted and you're CONTENT with this life you and your significant other has made...{as much as that is possible.}

TRUST YOURSELF: Most times, you're instincts really can tell when you're on to something...and when you're not. For women, this tends to make us want to "stick things out"; for men, this make them want to "fix it"; both scenarios are dangerous and folly to waste your precious time and life on.

Don't lose yourself NOR your ideals in your pursuit of happiness.

Women....don't ignore what you're gut nor natural born instincts tell us...if its seems too good to be true, it most likely is. If you're already doubtful of his intentions, its probably right to doubt it...OR you allow him to EARN your trust...don't just give the benefit of the doubt...be subtle about it.

Men....you get what you settle for...dating for looks, you're gonna end up with more than you bargained for...more than you can handle OR more than you can afford. Take her for granted, blink and she's gone, she's GONE. Run around or cheat, its coming back at you and much worse than you dished it out and when you least likely expect OR want it to happen; AND guys, it'll most likely be from the one you TRULY loved. Its almost certain to leave you SINGLE...and you don't age in reverse...the older a man gets, the younger he thinks he is and tries to behave.

IN CONCLUSION: It's funny...people have seen these things happen around to others, even to themselves...yet, like lambs to slaughter, they try to make this same non-working conditions or situations work differently to their favor...it rarely if ever does. It's almost like they never learned their lesson...like, they have to learn it the hard way...through experience.

But, enough about "them". In hindsight, did we....ARE WE making the right decisions; maybe its time to for us to self-reflect.

Maybe its time to thank God for what you have and not focus on what you think we don't have. Maybe its time to stop playing games with our LIFE and make a solid decision to LIVE, not merely EXIST.

Remember to be HONEST, DON'T SETTLE for anything less than being TRUE to yourself and also COMMUNICATE.

If its the real deal, you'll KNOW IT when you FEEL IT. And if you don't feel it.....{re-read the above post.}

Good luck.

EYE CANDY WISH LIST: Sam Worthington

2011-01-27T12:45:00.000-05:00

This is the ultra-sexy, A-list actor Sam Worthington.

Charming, rugged and extremely handsome, he was born in England, but raised in Australia.

He is the star of the biggest grossing movie of all time to date, AVATAR.

By all accounts, Avatar IS an INTERRACIAL movie....count a BIG one for us!! ;) Jake Sully is a white man who leaves his race to join with that of the Na'Vi people not only to fight, but to also be with the ETHNIC {ok, she's black, we all know this} woman he LOVES, Neytiri {played in excellence by the alluringly beautiful actress Zoe Saldana, pictured below with Sam at the premiere for Avatar.}

Sorry, ladies...although he's not married yet, he is in a committed relationship with Natalie Mark.

With his looks, he definitely lives up to his name. Worthington is worth-it-a-TON!!! LOL. I'm giddy with happiness, y'all!!

(pics are the property of their respective owners; no ownership implied nor offered. courtesy of Google images.)

SINGLE....AND STUNNING: Stacey Dash

2011-01-25T15:23:00.000-05:00

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the alluring and one of the fountain-of-youth board members, the extremely beautiful and sexy Stacey Dash.

Stacey is an actress, model and mother.

For the men, this STUNNER is single. What are you waiting on...get it together, already. LOL. She has married and dated white men.

For us ladies, Stacey is a reminder for us to keep our game HIGH as we already know how to do....because we all know....black women age GRACEFULLY and BEAUTIFULLY!!! Almost in reverse it seems sometimes.

The BEAUTIFUL Stacey Dash recently turned 45 YEARS OLD!!! She's barely aged in looks for the past 25 YEARS!

This picture speaks VOLUMES for ITSELF!!!!!

PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION: When is making out in public considered offensive?

2011-01-24T16:05:00.000-05:00

Coming out of this weekend, I couldn't help but notice black female and white male couples are GROWING in numbers. YAAAYYY! We're finally getting the word out and its taking effect.

I saw young couples, married couples w/children and even mature couples.

But one couple in particular really stood out. I took my children to a book fair where, as it turned out, it was more of a senior affair than a family affair. Anyhow, this particular couple must've been in the honeymoon phase of their marriage or just madly in love, because they couldn't keep their hands off each other.

It was cute to see....for about 4 seconds. Then, every other minute, he had his hands on her, holding her, she returns the gesture and they are madly making out!! I'm talking sounds, smacking, grabbing, groping, etc....I have my children there for goodness sakes and this is full view of about 40 or so people in the waiting line alone.

I don't buy it that its a color issue...I've seen many races of people make out in public. A {short} heated moment of kissing passion is sometimes unavoidable and things made of a romance novel, lol. Do it again and with more feeling, you need to go home or get a room, lol. This one, however, got out of hand for sure.

I bring this up because while waiting in line, we are ALL an unwilling audience to this make-out fest and inevitably, ignorance showed its ugly head when someone in this crowd mentions "Oh, I guess this is how "they" act!"

So, I look around of course to see a white woman in her mid-60s, her female friends and their husbands {I believe} all getting a laugh and joke out of this, as well as showing their disdain for...I'm not sure to what exactly, but I have a pretty good idea.

What did her comment mean...that the "they" she was referring to are...1) people in love, 2) young people or 3) the black woman-half of that couple or 4) the interracial couple?

Which one do you think she was referring to? We KNOW what she was referring to...we know.

I applaud this young couple for showing their affection for each other; holding hands, even a kiss would've done plenty to show their affection for each other. However, there is a time AND place for this behavior. Even in public, there is a certain code of decorum and CLASS that should be followed so your display of love is not misconstrued nor deemed questionable nor classless because of your behavior.

Those who are ignorant to interracial relationships that witnessed this will only remember that this black girl was all over some white guy who was grabbing her in public and this is how "they" act.

In my opinion, their behavior was way out of line....it really was.

But in their blissful ignorance, this crowd will most likely believe she "influenced or made him" {the white male lovebird} behave this way. Because, c'mon...we all know white people NEVER act or behave like that!!! *sarcasm* SMH.

BLACK GIRLS ROCK: Phil Collen, Lead Guitarist for Def Leppard and his wife, Helen.

2011-01-20T12:20:00.000-05:00

Back in the day, I had a {white} girlfriend who was OBSESSED with Joe Elliot and the rock band, Def Leppard.

How do I know his name, you might ask? Well, its because Dee {as I'll refer to her} MADE ME memorize his name as her future husband: Mrs. Joe Elliot, Mrs. Dee Elliot, Mr. & Mrs. Joe & Dee Elliot, Mr. & Mrs. Joe Elliot, etc., etc., etc...so, I NEVER forgot his name. LOL.

So, it came as no big surprise when they had a concert coming up, she got tickets AND BACKSTAGE passes.

Now, although I knew their music AND liked it, the concert venue was TWO hours away...see, some girls could sneak out and go to concerts and whatever...NOT me. My mother was STRICT and I was way too honest to even remotely think of trying to sneak off to a concert in a distant city with about fifty thousand people PLUS go backstage to meet the band.

THAT was the excuse I gave Dee for not going with her. Sure, I could have gone with her...I certainly have the goods to impress...but realistically, what is a good idea? I was very young and I didn't want to be naive either and end up in a bad situation....or become a dang groupie for goodness sakes. LMAO!!!!

The other reason was because they are a WHITE rock-n-roll heavy metal band. ALL white and have tens of thousands of thoroughly obsessed white women with the big long hair that was so praised back then, big boobs, high-waist jean shorts and pancake butts {LMAO} to choose from....or more likely to choose from. NOT TO MENTION....I would DEFINITELY stick out in that crowd.

Ironically, DEE never got to go because she ended up pregnant...{oops, too much sneaking out, lol}...and had to give up her tickets.

Little did I know...I might have had a real chance with what I now know of Def Leppard lead guitarist, Phil Collen.

Phil has been dating and marrying beautiful black women...ALL HIS LIFE!!! He recently married Helen Simmons, a costume designer.

Y'all could have been talkin' to...Colleen Collen. LMAO!!!!!!

VIDEO OF THE DAY: Robin Thicke - Lost Without You

2011-01-18T15:23:00.000-05:00

Good afternoon, everyone!!! Just a beautiful video of a beautiful couple to spice up your day. ;)

This is the very sexy Robin Thicke and his uber-gorgeous wife Paula Patton in his video, Lost Without You. ENJOY!!!!

credit to youtube/robinthickeVEVO.