My Story

All These Years Have Gone By

2022-06-02T14:03:00.000-07:00

Over 10 years have past! wow! I made it trouugh the BC and happy its behind me! Lots has happened! We moved from our house of 30 years to start something new. I closed my boutique that had grown so big that it was no longer fun.

Acouple years and a couple moves happened, trying to figure things out? Then we moved into a one level bungalo so that i could have my knee surgery.

This was where it all started again;

Hey Blog!

2012-09-07T15:59:00.000-07:00

Hey Blog! Long time no see.

I can’t believe how the months have passed?? The last time I visited my blog was March of this year, now the months have flown by without notice.

The opening of my little boutique seems to have kept me very busy. Cherry Pick Boutique has been my lifelong dream and it now has been born and is off and running. My grand opening was April 21^st 2012 and what a perfect day it was. Old and new friends, family and more came out to support my little business adventure.

By the end of May my little 400 square foot spot seemed too small and I took a leap of faith and moved across the hall to double the space.

I’m now into my fifth month and have learned so much with much more to learn I’m sure. Some months have been good and others not so much. I’ve come to learn that this is retail and things will be up and down.

The Freight House Square is an old freight house that was built over 100 years ago. Now the Sounder pulls up out back to delivers its daily commuters and picks up some to be delivered to the rest of the stops along the way.

Inside the doors of the freight house are all types of shops and an international food court that is indescribable.

In the mean time I have just had my two year anniversary from the day I found the lump in my breast. If you’re wondering about that well, I’m good so far and am believing that it will stay that way. I still see all the special doctors and have to have mammograms every six months. I’ve been told that after five years they stop watching so closely. I’m still struggling with the steroid weight but that will take some time too.

So I have decided to take my blog in a new direction and start writing about the people and places at the Freight House Square. I have met some of the best people in my life at the freight house; I call this my freight house family and you will soon understand why.

Still Believing

2012-03-08T00:09:00.001-08:00

My hopes and dreams for 2012 are to have a better year than the last. I guess that wouldn’t be to hard considering the stuff I had to do to make it through treatment. I’m not sure what to expect from day to day but I cherish each and every one and consider each day a gift.

The first week of January I found Cozy, she stole my heart from the day I first laid my eyes on her. I was at my youngest granddaughter’s gymnastic meet when I spotted a woman holding her. After a short conversation I learned she was a breeder and I was able to purchase the puppy from her. She had the best little personality and loved me as much as I loved her. The first week I had her she had a problem with her blood sugar and a trip to the vet assured me that she would be fine with extra care to make sure she was eating enough.

My biological father had been ill and was diagnosed with cancer of the liver. I hadn’t seen my dad in years and it was hard to say goodbye. I have many regrets when it comes to our relationship. I wish I had visited one more time and talked to him about many things that were left unsaid. He passed away just days before his 80^th birthday; he almost made it, now he will have no more suffering. I hate suffering. Sometimes I feel like I had two different childhood. One with my dad and then one after he left when I was twelve. Thinking of him makes me remember the young child in me.

By the time February had arrived Cozy was having regular problems with her blood sugar. This is what I thought was happening. She would act so strange and it seemed to get harder and harder to get her to come around. Some days she would be fine others she would just be out of it?? I called the vet when she started showing signs of pain, she would cry out for no reason.

Yesterday when she tried to walk she was paralyzed. The vet kept her for the day and gave her pain medication to see if she would try to move around. By the end of the day when I returned to the clinic it was quite obvious that Cozy would not be able to move again. I talked with her and she would only respond with her sad eyes and I knew I had to let her go. I told her to go to Rainbow Bridge and I would meet her there one day. I kissed her lightly and said goodbye.

With spring just around the corner I have prayed that the Lord will direct my step and guide me to the next chapter in my life. It’s a new day and I’m more than ready to embrace my life and move forward.

I’m believing for a wonderful rest of the year!

Busy Bee

2012-02-27T01:06:00.001-08:00

I feel like a busy bee, so much to do! Time seems to have sipped by. Rachel my middle child had a Birthday in January and we just celebrated it last week because she had been sick. So for now I’m feeling about a month behind and struggling to catch up.

I have had a few small bumps in the road but nothing I can’t handle. An infection that wouldn’t clear up sent me to the hospital for IV antibiotics and then an allergic reaction. Not fun having hives and hot flashes at the same time. Now I’m on yet another oral antibiotic and keeping my fingers crossed that this one will work
.

The struggle continues to get rid of the steroid weight and then when I had the reaction the first thing they did was pump me full of yes, you guessed it, steroids. I know it had to be done but it wasn’t my favorite part of the day.

I’ve been doing Weight Watchers for the past three weeks and the weight loss is so slow but at least it’s going. I was sure the scales would be up after the steroids but to my surprise I had lost weight. Whoo hoo. Working out has helped with the fatigue and acupuncture has soothed the hot flashes. Physical therapy is retraining my back muscles to support my old back injury and leg exercises to try to give my knee more support until the day I can have my knee replacement surgery.

The neuropathy in my hands and feet is almost vanished and I’m so thankful. I hate having numb fingers and dropping everything. This means that the chemicals from the chemo and radiation are leaving my body and I am returning to my old self. This time last year I was doing radiation and feeling like hell. Time has passed quickly and I’m so happy to have it all behind me.

I’m ready to start a new chapter in my life and I’m not sure of the path that I will take. My world has been turned upside down and now it’s time to make choices for my new and wonderful life. Many people my age would be thinking of retirement but I’m not ready for that. I’m excited to see what Gods has planned for me next.

2012-02-27T00:42:00.001-08:00

Jeff had A Birthday

2012-02-02T22:45:00.000-08:00

Jeff had A Birthday, big 19 now, hard to believe how time flies. Jeff is grandson number two and has a soft spot in my heart. From the moment he came into the world he has scared me, for real. His mom had a hard delivery and when he was born he wasn’t breathing. The first hour of his life was pretty scary; as he grew he continued to keep grandma excited.

Jeff plays so many instruments I can’t keep track. In school he played a trumpet, trombone and even the tuba and what an awesome guitar player. He’s in a band now and he plays bass, this kid has a true gift. He knows what he wants but changes his mind every day, it fun watching him grow. His first band was a jazz band and his new band well I’m not sure, I thinks its rock but they have all kinds of new names for music now and I get lost. I do know they play all original music and they write everything they do, that’s kinda cool.

Last summer Jeff got married, yes I said Jeff got married. After he and his wife graduated from High School they got married. I still have a hard time believing it can you tell? I hope they put off having kids for a long time because I’m no where near ready to be a Great Grandma!

Jeff I wish you much happiness and love! And that job at Guitar Center! Love GG

The Grinch That Stole My Christmas Gift!

2012-01-01T22:19:00.000-08:00

The holidays have come and gone and what a wonderful time we had, with just a few bumps along the way. Not like last year when all I could do was wish the time away. I had started chemo the beginning of December last year so I wasn’t in much of a holiday spirit. As for this year I had a renewed spirit and was ready to make up for missing out on last year’s festivities’.

The day after Thanksgiving I started decorating and making plans for my shopping budget. My husband tried to bring me to reality only once and I let him know to not get in my way so he promptly started putting up Christmas lights.

I never shop early, I’m usually trying to get things done at the last minute but this year was so different, I finished it all early and was able to enjoy the entire season.

Our family enjoyed Christmas Eve together at my daughters house and then on Christmas day I cooked dinner and they all came to my house. I missed that last year and was so thankful to have the energy to prepare the holiday meal.

Then the bump in the road; I had told my husband that I was asking Santa for a puppy this year. We have two cats and the entire household is cat lovers. I like them but I prefer dogs. He kinda laughed it off and let me wish. To his surprise, and mine, on Christmas Eve when I was at my daughter’s house Santa delivered my new puppy. She was perfect, the cutest little 12 week old King Charles toy puppy you have ever seen. The kids had named her Bambi, and before the night was over I had fallen in love with her and we had bonded right away.

After taking her home I quickly decided I would sleep in the living room so she could sleep with me and not be scared. We cuddled up on the couch and spent her first night at home together.

Christmas morning was quiet as I started to prepare the Christmas fest. I got the turkey in the oven after making pumpkin pies and my daughter Rachel had stopped by with her puppy Dottie. We took the puppies into the back yard and watched them run and play. Dottie would run and Bambi would try her best to keep up with her. They soon left and would come back over later for dinner.

Everyone started to arrive around 5:00 and I was busy finishing up our dinner, my niece had brought her puppy Lucky and Dottie and Bambi were having a blast running and playing. With a house full of people, I knew the new Christmas puppy would sleep well that night because she had such an exciting day. The kids all passed her around, loved on her and took a lot of pictures. She loved the attention.

About the time dinner was finished someone noticed that Bambi was gone? She had just vanished? We have a fenced in yard with no possible way for a dog to get out? We quickly gathered up every flash light in the house and from every car and started searching for my lost Christmas gift. We searched every adjacent yard and crack we could find. After searching the next couple hours and talking to all the neighbors I had come to the conclusion she had found a hiding place exhausted from the day and had fallen asleep. I again slept in the living room in hopes she would come wondering out from her hiding place. It didn’t happen.

The next morning we were out posting lost dog fliers everywhere we could think of. My husband continued to search the neighborhood and talk to everyone he came across.

By the next day I discovered that someone had removed all of the posters we had pinned to the phone polls and they had even taken down the ones at the local 7-11. I called the city to see if they had taken them down and they informed me that the pole do not belong to the city but to PSE. They assured me it hadn’t been them, not the time of the year for clean up. Even the workers at 7-11 said they had not removed the posters??? Someone has my puppy! So I called the police and did a report. New posters have been hung and are still in place. I still have hopes she will be returned and the Grinch that stole her will have a change of heart.

A Christmas Eve Birthday Wish

2011-12-24T10:02:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Jake! Jake has been a part of our family for many years, it’s like a true Cinderella story for him and my oldest daughter Amy Jo. They first met in high school at band camp of all things and quickly became high school sweet hearts. After going in separate ways they found one another again and have been happily married for many years now. But that’s not where the story ends.

Jake was diagnosed with a heart condition that change the type of work he was doing. Back to school he went and has earned his bachelor’s degree and is now busy working on his masters. We are very proud of him.

While attending school Jake has been blessed with an opportunity that many fathers only dream of. While attending school he has been able to arrange his schedule to be home a lot for the kids. What a difference it has made. He attends every game the girls cheer at and you will never catch him without his camera, capturing every moment he can. The youngest has taken up his dads love for fishing and you can find the two of them in the water with waders doing what they love

I use to think that Jake was too hard on the kids but he sure proved me wrong. My grand kids are wonderful Christian children that are high achievers full of love and kindness. Recently my oldest grandson told me how happy he was his dad took the time to be hard on him. He knows it’s where he got his life skills to be successful.

Most of all Jake is full of love for his family. Happy Birthday Jake, My wish for you is a year of health, prosperity, and happiness.

You are Loved!!!

Happy Birthday Mr. Zack!

2011-12-14T12:35:00.000-08:00

Today is Zack’s Birthday; fourteen years ago he came into the world. Wow, seems like just yesterday. He was born a month early but wasn’t little. They had a hard time believing he was a preemie but knew he had to be treated as one.

Zack is my youngest grandson and is a very unique young man. He loves his sports, anything that involves a ball and he is all over it. When I watch a game with him he always commentates and helps me to understand what’s going on. For years he has been the ball boy for the Auburn High School Foot Ball team. This year was his last year for that because he will be at the high school himself and playing on the team.

In the summer time we all miss him because he goes to Olympia for the summer and any other time he can get there. His other grandparents have a farm and Zack enjoys the animals and hard work that comes with it. He plays drums with his school band and likes to play video games. Girls are starting to catch his eye and he’s not at all shy about it. His sisters love to tease him.

Happy Birthday Zack! You are loved!

If Zack could get away with it he would spend his days, just fishin!

Happy Birthday To The Other Mrs. Hutchinson!

2011-12-12T11:50:00.000-08:00

Ruth had a birthday yesterday and it was a tough day for her. It was one of those days not because she’s getting older, just one of those days. Ruth is married to my son Joel and they have a wonderful life together. I have never seen two people be able to keep that just married feeling going on after years of being together. It’s very magical!

Ruth is in her last few quarters before she will graduate from GRCC and then will be off to join Joel at the UW. We are all so proud of her and look forward to seeing her fly.

I tease her sometimes about when my next grandbaby will arrive and she assures me it won’t be soon. I’m really happy they decided to wait until they finish school and are working but sometimes it’s hard to wait. My youngest grandbaby is eleven and holding a baby is long overdue but I can wait and it’s still fun to tease her. For now they are quite happy with their four leg furry baby Roo.

When I was sick Ruth helped me with all the household stuff that I just couldn’t get done. She’s a good listener and always has a kind word. She has a way of making me laugh! We are blessed to have her as a part of our family.

Happy Birthday Ruthie, You are loved!

Baby Its Cold Outside

2011-12-10T00:08:00.000-08:00

This season has never been my favorite, I hate being cold but I now have a new reason for loving the winter. The hot flashes that are getting better with every day that passes are really easy to control now. When I feel one coming on I just step outside, It works instantly woo hoo! Whatever works I guess.

As I go about getting ready for the Holidays I am reminded of my last Christmas and how sick I was. I feel like I missed out altogether and so this year I plan to make up for it. I’ve been shopping, decorating and planning my cookie baking day. I had lost a lot of my Christmas spirit and couldn’t seem to find it but not anymore, my joy has been renewed. I am very thankful.

As you can imagine there are tons of breast cancer blogs and yes I read several of them. I have some I fallow closely and feel like I have gotten to know some of these people through their stories. One of them died this week and I was very sad, she left behind her young son and husband and my heart ached for them. Another has just recently had surgery to remove part of her liver. Seems her breast cancer had spread and she has been blessed with a surgery to make her cancer free. She is very sick right now and I pray for her speedy return to health.

I’ve found a new way to live with the neuropathy in the tips of my fingers. Fake finger nails, yep, I use the tips of the nails instead of my finger tips and they work much better. I do drop a lot of stuff and it’s really ok unless its eggs, that really sucks. The other day I dropped the whole carton. Ug.

I also found a great remedy for the fatigue and weight loss at the same time. For the last couple weeks I have been going to curves and it has worked wonders. I’m happy to report that my energy is slowly starting to return.

I’m also looking into returning to school. I only have another quarter and a half before I’m finished and it seems silly to not finish what I started.

As for now I’ve put up two Christmas trees and am looking forward to spending a wonderful holiday season with my family.

Wonder Woman

2011-11-25T14:52:00.000-08:00

I guess I’m a creature of habit and have always been this way. I have routines and things I just do on a regular basis, pretty predictable. When the holidays arrive I also have traditions that I feel pretty strong about. Some are good traditions that have been in the family forever or ones we have created ourselves. Some are not so good? I have a problem with thinking I am wonder woman. I seem to think I need to work until I drop or I haven’t done it right. I’m not sure what made me this way but being sick this last years has forced me to make changes even If I didn’t want to. As I’ve mentioned in the past I am still suffering from fatigue. Some days are good and others not so good, I don’t get to pick which ones are good. I can go along thinking it will be a productive day and then all the sudden I hit a brick wall and the day is over. It doesn’t even matter if my to do list is a mile long, it just doesn’t get done. The neuropathy in my feet is almost gone and in my hand, well it comes and goes. I have a little bit of chemo brain that seems to linger but not bad and I have learned to deal with it.

This year my family and I broke a tradition, we had our Thanksgiving Dinner catered by the Long Horn BBQ! It was fantastic! The turkey was smoked and all the trimmings were wonderful. My girls both work full time jobs and have families to care for so this made it a nice relaxing day for all of us. I almost felt guilty and then had to remind myself that it’s really Ok to relax and not have to work so hard.

Being sick has taught me a lot of things and some of them have been good lessons. I have been blessed with a wonderful family and this year I learned its Ok to do thing different and take time to enjoy them.

I hope you all had a wonderful day full of blessing and many things to be thankful for. As we go into the holiday season I will look for hidden blessing and miracles, creating many new traditions along the way.

Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, Curves, Zumba, Lab Band, Atkins, South Beach Diet, Yoga, Palliates, ect....

2011-10-29T09:23:00.000-07:00

I went to see my oncologist today, it was my routine appointment. He gave me good news, he said “Mary, I believe you’re cured” that was nice to hear him say. I’m so happy for all he has done for me and my wonderful chemo nurse was there to great me with open arms. She said, “I almost didn’t recognize you” with all that hair. That was nice to hear also. It’s kind of a creepy feeling going to that place, all the people sitting around getting chemo, gives me flash backs and I can hardly wait to just get out of there. But, it wasn’t all good news.

Seems the chemo and steroids messed with my blood sugar and I am now pre diabetic because of it. I really didn’t want to hear this one. I have tried to diet and lose this post chemo weight and it has been almost impossible. I have never eaten so well in my life, from juicing and eating all natural fruits and veggies. My average weight loss has been one pound a month, that’s hard to deal with. I feel like I have rode that exercise bike from here to tin buck too and all I get is a sore butt. So he started me on a medication that will stabilize my blood sugar and hopefully get me back to a normal place.

The lady that took my blood ask if I was done with treatment and when I told her yes she said the dreaded words. “You sure look good, you have a pretty face." Ug, and I knew what she was thinking.

When I was sick from the chemo I didn’t care what I ate, I just consumed whatever I could when I could. Sometimes the steroids made me feel like a crazy person looking for food. I was like a vampire wanting blood and I would do anything to get it.

Now I’m on a mission, I will get this body back in shape one way or another. If you have diet ideas or tips on good work outs be sure to share them. God knows, I've tried them all!

Happy Birthday Levi '14'

2011-10-13T18:22:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Levi

Forrest Levi is Grandson number three. I can still remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. His momma had several miscarriages before he was born so he was one of those hold your breath babies. He was born healthy and beautiful except for a little asthma that he would have to deal with. He had a few bad attacks but for the most part has found a way to control it.

Levi is the middle child in his family, with one older brother and a younger sister. He has always been kind of quiet and shy but has recently come out of his shell and started to have his voice. He likes his video and card games and also played some football on his middle school team last year. He plays the saxophone and does a great job. He makes us laugh when he does his impersonation of the Sexy Sax Man. If you don’t know who that is You Tube it, pretty funny stuff. Levi, his mom and sister perform with the Heavier Than Air Players and his performances are outstanding, I look forward to each and every one of them. I’ve also noticed that he has an interest in girls, not just any girls; I notice he likes the older ones? He just likes them more mature, right?

When I was going through treatment some days would seem unbearable and then here they would come, grandkids with so much energy and full of life. It would reenergize me and I was good to go.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEVI

Love, GG

Breast Cancer Awareness Month (feeling a little lopsided)

2011-10-01T18:59:00.000-07:00

October Breast Cancer Awareness

Here we are, another October has arrived! When I looked outside this morning it truly looked like fall had finally begun. I’ve always like October, the nip in the air and all the fresh veggies from our garden gives me a lifted spirit.

Last year in October I was geting ready for my BC surgery and was busy preparing for whatever was to come next with my treatment. Before my surgery my surgeon had given me the opportunity to talk with other Doctors to decide which kind of surgery I would undergo. A Lumpectomy or a Mastectomy? With a lumpectomy I would need radiation for thirty days straight, with a Mastectomy I would need to have reconstruction surgery. After a breast has been through radiation it can’t have surgery because the tissue damage will not allow it to heal properly. Some who have to have mastectomy and radiation have reconstruction with new skin used from their back. I visited a Plastic surgeon and a radiologist before making my decision. I felt like having the lumpectomy would be the way for me to go, I had doubts but decided on it because it seemed to be less evasive.

It’s a feeling that can’t be described when you have surgery on this part of your body; it leaves you with an empty dark hard to describe feeling. I was happy with the minimal scaring and to know the cancer had been removed.

It’s been four months from the time I finished my last radiation appointment and Last week I went to see my radiologist for a follow up appointment. I learned something new at this appointment that had not been covered in any of my discussion I had with any of these docs. My sick breast seems to be shrinking. Now why is this happening? I guess this is caused from the radiation, now you tell me!

So now my choices are to get my healthy breast reduced to match the shrinking one or I can have surgery on the shrinking one using tissue from my back and implants. They have suggested putting a lift in my bra so that I match but this seems so uncomfortable to me or I guess I could just walk around lop sided? What would you do? I think I need some help with this decision.

I’m very grateful for the surgery and treatment I have received and I know that it has saved my life. Many of my Pink Sisters haven’t been as fortunate and are still fighting for their life and haven’t even had the opportunity to think about the way they look and for them I pray for health and healing.

The Purse Snatcher

2011-09-27T11:32:00.000-07:00

The purse snatcher

I couldn’t believe it when I went to get my purse and it was just gone! How in the world does your purse just disappear? This isn’t the first time I have had my purse stolen but I must say the strangest. I think the last time someone got away with my purse with all its contents was in Junior High School. During PE I had not put a lock on my locker and I will never forget the heartache it caused. I had everything I owned in that purse, important things like my makeup, you get the picture.

This time was hard, not to mention having to cancel two checking accounts, debit cards, credit cards, you know all that stuff but I really need my medical card and my punch card to Aunt Annie’s pretzel stand at the mall. Not to mention the appointment cards for upcoming Dr. appointments. Where do you start?? Then it started to sink in, my journal, my guess sunglasses and my lipstick! Then I have to remember and tell myself it’s just stuff and can for the most part all be replaced. The timing was just really bad.

In my past post I talked about chemo brain. When I sat down and tried to retrace my footsteps and remember where I last saw my purse it almost drove me crazy, I started thinking maybe there was something wrong with my brain. It’s just too strange that a purse would just disappear from my own living room. I knew I was OK when I saw my cell phone, I remembered getting it out of my purse that evening. Then the creepy part sets in! With the heat and humidly I often leave the front door open, and while I slept in my living room someone came into my house, how creepy is that! We’ve lived in this house for twenty three years and I feel very safe here, I’m really trusting, sometimes too trusting.

As I put this all behind me I pray that whoever has my things can’t cause anymore damage to my life and credit. One of my FB post mentioned that it must be someone I know, I have a real hard time thinking that? Everyone I know has at least seen or heard about what I have had to endure this past year and it would be a truly sad day when someone would have no more compassion then that. I have forgiven this person and I pray for them that they can find peace in their heart.

Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen

2011-09-23T21:39:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen

And never been kissed!!!!!

Meghan Ryan was born on September 23rd and when she came into the world she surprised us all. See we had been told during her mommy’s ultra sound that she was a boy. So this boy baby that we were ready for was going to be named Coty? We were excited when Miss Megan arrived; she was baby number three in her family and would end up being the middle child.

When I was going through chemo and my hair was gone Meg didn’t want to come to see me because she didn’t want to see me bald. Her mom made her come over and she was happy she did, having a bald grandma is really not that bad. She was happy my head was nice and round.

Meg is beautiful on the inside and out, she’s every ones friend and a very kind hearted Christian girl. I love watching her dance and perform; she is full of energy and makes me laugh. She does impressions of her family and friends and will someday probable be famous and what beauty, how could she have made it to sixteen without being kissed?

My birthday wish for my granddaughter Megan is a year full of blessings to many to count a good cheer season lots of fun and friends and maybe even that first kiss.

I love you Meghan Ryan

Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel

2011-09-19T22:19:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Amy Jo! Your How Old?

No way! It’s hard to believe that 37 years ago today she entered this world. I was living in a little town by the name of Worms Germany and when I went into labor I had to travel about an hour away to the town of Heidelberg. Because Germany is hours ahead of Seattle time my family at home said she was born on September 19, but where we were it was already September 20th and so her birthday was September 20th 1974. She would also share her Birthday with one of her grandmothers so that made her day even more special.

I was a young mom, just a month away from 19 and in a strange country. I was pretty brave or I guess at that age kind of stupid. I put her in a backpack and away we went. We were on the move everyday taking in as much of this fascinating place as possible.

My little girl is now all grown up and is a mommy herself. She works hard and has climbed to top at the company she works for.

While I was going through treatment for BC she stayed close to me at the same time taking care of her husband that in the past years was diagnosed with a heart problem. I could see the strain on her face but she stayed selfless and strong for the entire family.

My Birthday Wish for Amy is to have a wonderful year full of Happiness and countless Blessings!

Oh Yeah and that the Auburn Trojans win every game they play!

Happy Birthday Amy Jo from ChoCoMo! I love You!

Steroids and Blue Jeans

2011-09-16T00:19:00.000-07:00

Steroids and Blue Jeans

Today I went shopping for some blue jeans. I love my jeans and have more than any one girl needs. This is the problem at hand. None of them fit me. Not one pair. I had refused to buy any new ones because this would mean I would need to purchase a larger size. Not part of my plan.

While I was doing chemo the new protocol is a medication that keeps you from being sick. Don’t get me wrong I am so happy that the nausea was mild and I didn’t have to live in the bathroom the entire time I was being treated. I always thought that chemo would be like on the movies when the sick person was so sick and weak from vomiting they would be on deaths door. Not at all was it like that, I was really sick but just didn’t have to worry about not eating because of this medication. The medicine was expensive; some don’t get it because their insurance company doesn’t cover it. I was fortunate and did receive this medication that is a steroid. Not only did I take this one but I also had to take prednisone because I was so allergic to the treatment. One of the kids ask me why I didn't get big muscles from the steroids, not the right kind of steroids. These steroids made me so hungry that I would eat and then be sick from the food and them just want to eat more. It wasn't fun, chemo recall was something I had been warned about. What happens is you eat one of your favorite foods and then it makes you feel sick. Then every time you try to eat that particular food it makes you feel ill again. I lost the desire for some of my favorite foods.

When I was first diagnosed my first thought was to find something good in the situation? I thought I would for sure lose a bunch of weight, that would be positive. Not so! It seemed so cruel, I was bald, pale, and fat with scares on my boob. I reminded myself of Uncle Fester, you know who I'm talking about.

During treatment I gained sixty pounds, what! I couldn’t believe it! It seemed like I just woke up one morning and it was there?

I have gotten back on an exercise routine and went to visit a nutritionist I’ve lost seventeen pounds and everyone of them were harder to lose than any routine I have ever been on before. My stamina is not at all what it used to be and I find myself getting pooped out really easy. Some days I have to make myself move.

Today I decided to embrace the body that I have now and continue to work on being healthy and feeling good. I know it’s only a matter of time before I will be back in my old jeans but for now I purchased two new pairs of blue jeans. I give thanks today that I am alive and well and able to wear my bigger blue Jeans.

The Not So Glamorous Day

2011-09-07T19:20:00.000-07:00

Almost ten years ago my younger sister was diagnosed with colon cancer. She was in for the fight of her life. I won’t go into detail but it was scary and painful for her and she suffered immensely. She was only thirty nine and much too young to have to endure this.

A few years later my father was also diagnosed with colon cancer, he too suffered and with much prayer and faith he was able to fight this.

This wasn’t good news for me and my other siblings. We were instructed to make sure we all had colonoscopies to make sure we were all fine. Colon cancer seems to run in families, but not always. It can strike anyone. Most of the time it happens to older people but not always, just this year I lost a friend that was my age to colon cancer.

What exactly is a colonoscopy? This is what I found.

Colonoscopy is a procedure used to see inside the colon and rectum. Colonoscopy can detect inflamed tissue, ulcers, and abnormal growths. The procedure is used to look for early signs of colorectal cancer and can help doctors diagnose unexplained changes in bowel habits, abdominal pain, bleeding from the anus, and weight loss

OK, so I didn’t have any of this so what’s the big deal? So this is the big deal! If you don’t have any of this stuff going on by the age of fifty we need to have this procedure done. Seems as we age little polyps can grow on the colon wall. These can also be removed during the colonoscopy procedure. If left to grow, over the years these little growths turn into cancer.

I had never had this procedure and have to say it didn’t sound like something that I was looking forward to doing. But as you know I have learned my lesson about procrastination and how important early detection is when it comes to any cancer.

I made the appointment and made sure it was a few months into the future so that I would have some strength back and maybe find away to get out of having to do it. Maybe something more important would come up and I could cancel and just do this later, much later. But that didn’t happen.

A few days before my appointment I was instructed to go on a low fiber diet. This was easy enough, then the day before I was able to eat breakfast and then just clear liquids. At 5:00 in the evening I started drinking the solution to cleanse my colon. Every fifteen minutes I had to consume 8oz’s of this stuff. It had a lemon flavor and wasn’t really that bad. There was four liters in all to get down and at one point it looked impossible, but I did it! Oh yea, and I did spend most of the evening in the restroom.

My appointment was at 9:00 and after being checked in and an IV in place they gave me a sedation and the next thing I knew I was awake and only twenty minutes later. My sister had brought me and once I was dressed we were on our way home. I hadn’t had any food for twenty four hours so that was all I had on my mind.

If you’re reading this and your far from “fifty” file this away and remember to get yours when the time comes.

If you are “fifty” or more and you haven’t yet had yours, don’t put it off, days come and go and before we know it years have gone by.

As for me my results were good, I did have one polyp and it was a tiny one. They removed it and sent me on my way. Most people only have to do this test every ten years. I will have to schedule this procedure every five years because of the history of my family.

Time Flies

2011-09-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

Wow! An entire year has come and gone and I have to say it’s a year of life to remember or try to forget, one of the two. I feel like my body has been pushed to the limit and is still trying to find its way back to normal. Whatever normal is? I do know that with every day that passes I am starting to feel stronger. It’s a strange thing, my body has been so sick for so long. My spirit and soul has also struggled. I’m not sure if I will ever be myself again but I can be the new and better me and this is what I will strive for.

It was in the early morning hours of Labor Day September 5th 2010 that I discovered the ugly lump and little did I know my life would never be the same. I have learned some really important lessons along the way.

 Never skip your mammogram. Make sure to make it to your yearly appointment.

 Make sure to schedule that fun fun thing called a pap smear.

 Have your yearly physical and make sure it includes blood work to check your cholesterol, blood sugar, and vitamin D Levels.

 Don’t forget that when you turn 50 to schedule that so looked forward to colonoscopy. (This is the one I would like to skip but know how important early detection is).

 Check your body for moles and other funny looking thing that may appear on your skin. Then make your appointment with the dermatologist.

 Don’t procrastinate!

I have taken care of everything on my check list and all has checked out good. With every test I take I get a little anxious waiting for the test results. When the results are in it’s a wonderful feeling to know that all is well.

Time seems to fly and we all get busy. I had let myself go for almost four years without having a mammogram! What was I thinking? Early detection is the key; I met ladies during radiation that didn’t have to experience chemo and only had to do radiation for treatment. Because my tumor had grown to the size it was I had to do the chemo. That’s hard to live with.

Tomorrow morning I will start a cleanse and spend the day preparing for my colonoscopy that is scheduled for Wednesday morning. Not what I consider a fun day but I know I will feel so much better when the result are in and I have peace of mind and know that all is well.

Dancing Chickens

2011-09-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

The Dancing Chickens

At one of our recent outdoor gatherings my son-in-law decided to treat us with what he called Beer Can Chicken. This chicken was moist and juicy and I loved watching it cook. He rubbed the chickens with seasoning and then placed them on open beer cans with half the can full of beer and some garlic cloves floating inside. It took a couple hours for them to cook but it was so worth the wait. You can even do this in the oven so you can enjoy this recipe all year long.

The day of this gathering my grandkids danced around the backyard and were full of their wonderful energy.

I couldn’t help thinking how the chickens looked like they were dancing too so I have changed the name of the recipe form Beer Can Chickens to Dancing Chickens.

A Celebration for Mom

2011-08-27T22:54:00.000-07:00

A Celebration for Mom

August 27, 2007 was the day the Lord called my mom home. After her memorial service back in 2007 we all came together and had a celebration in my backyard. That day was the hardest day of my life. It felt like someone had torn my heart out and punch me in the gut all at the same time. So many people came that day and I know she was looking down on us and happy that they had all came to comfort us and to say their goodbyes to her. I had bought 50 white balloons to send to the heavens filled with love from everyone of us. My daughter Rachel had gone to the hospital the week before to see her grandma and to sing to her. She loved to hear Rachel sing and so did many at the hospital that day. She ended up singing for another that was facing end of life and it was nice for that family too.

At our first celebration Rachel sang the song my mother loved to hear. “One Moment in Time” and as the last words of the song say, “I will be free” we all let our balloons go to float up to the heavens.

Every year on this day we get together and have our celebration. We talk about what color of balloons we want to have each year and how many we think we should buy. The second year we did pink and last year it was yellow. This year my sister Estelle decided we should do red so we could see them is the sky better and she was so right. The red balloons against the blue sky were beautiful.

I missed her so much when I was sick, something about moms that just seem to make everything better. The first year she was gone I kinda checked out and just went through the motions of everyday life. In time things did get better but I still have days that I miss her like crazy.

Today my son ask me if I was OK and I told him yes, and he said “you seem sad” I told him, I’m not sad I’m just remembering my mom and all the things that I miss about her. I know she’s looking down on us and doesn’t want us to be sad and everyday when she walks with God she says a prayer for us.

Today when the end of the song was sang and the red balloons floated away to the heavens I remembered her smile and the love she brought to our family.

The Human Pin Cushion

2011-08-21T13:39:00.000-07:00

Acupuncture

I never had hot flashes! What in the world was I going to do walking around all hot and sweaty all the time? The hot flashes started during chemo and they called it chemo pause. Not menopause. At my age this should have been familiar to me but you know how I do stuff, always my own way.

During radiation it got to the point that I could no longer rest at night because of theses crazy power surges that would attack through the day and night. After many complaints to the doctor they finally gave me a prescription for a medication that they said might help.

I guess this hot flash thing is kind of a mystery, they don’t know exactly why it happens but one thing is for sure. The hormone estrogen plays a big role. And the little pill did help some, not completely but any relief from this was good.

Six weeks after the radiation stopped came the Tamoxfin, the little pill that I would take for the next five years to block estrogen from my breast and give me assurance and make sure the cancer did not return.

If I thought the hot flashes were bad before I was not at all prepare for what was to come. I couldn’t go anywhere without having one after another and they would get worse when I was out. They would come about every half hour 24 hours a day.

I started reading about supplements and soon was taking anything that might possibly help. Flax seed oil, sage and more. One of the articles mentioned acupuncture. I can’t say I love needles and the last year I have felt like a human pin cushion anyway but I decided it was worth a try. Americans are conditioned to trauma when needles are involved. But these tiny instruments are about 1/8 of a human hair, that’s really tiny!

I was surprised at how comfortable and relaxing the treatment was and it has actually worked! This treatment has been around for thousands of years and has been very effective for me. For now I will continue to have weekly treatments with the tiny needles and pray it continues to work.

Destiny

2011-08-12T12:25:00.000-07:00

Recently I have found myself doing a lot of reminiscing and I know why. With the recent loss of a long time friend my mind started wondering about where everyone was and what must they be doing now. I started a search on FB for more of my past friend and didn’t have much luck. I have a few friends from my past on FB. Some who like to communicate and others that don’t. Some of the guys are not easy to correspond with, I’m not sure why? Maybe they have significant others that don’t feel comfortable with other women talking to their men? I don’t want them; if I did I would have had them! I’m happily married and not interested in anything more than friends. OK, now that I got that out of the way.

I was able to find some of my old friends from the phone book and added some of them to my friends list on FB. I even have one of the guy’s wives as a friend and am getting to know her. She must be very secure in her relationship. I’m happy for him.

After doing some Google searches I came across a sight called Northwest Music. To my surprise I found old pictures of my teenage friends that played in a local band called Rainbow Trails. These guys were my close friends and entertained me for many years. As time went on and we all started turning 21 I would go to the club to see my friends entertain.

Things change and a couple of the band members left. The two that were left were brothers and found a new guitar player and a new drummer and continued to entertain all over the Seattle area.

I had spent some time in Germany and couldn’t wait to see my old friends when I returned. My girlfriend and I went to check out the new additions to the band. That was the night I met my husband, the new drummer would turn out to be the man I would marry. That was 33 years ago, and today he plays in a band called Gun-shy, still playing his drums and performing with some great seasoned musicians. PS The girl is our daughter.

Brian in the back on the left.