Dementia for 2

I Need to Borrow a Baby

2009-11-09T02:12:00.004-06:00

Last week when mom went to visit granny, she wanted to know if mom was married. Mom isn't but she has been in a relationship for a very long time. She decided it was best to just say yes than to try and explain the whys and why nots to granny.

So granny wants to know when she is going to have a baby. Mom tells her she isn't going to have a baby. Granny gets sad and exclaims, "But I want to hold a baby!" So now I am on the hunt for someone that has a baby that I can borrow so granny can hold one.

My daughter, "B" has a friend with a 16 month old. That is a good age, not too little and not too big. Right now he is sick so I have put in my request when he gets well.

I think this would really lift all our spirits now considering all that is going on. Now that I think about it, I think all 3 of us need to hold a baby right about now. So maybe I can find 3 babies and we can have a hen and chick session to brighten our day up!

Just When Things Were Looking Brighter

2009-11-08T04:28:00.004-06:00

My mom has been able to visit my grandmother these past 2 weeks. This is a good thing since I picked up a seasonal job and cannot go as often.

We have not had any incidents as bad as the last one I posted about. Another good thing.

But, there have been others. My mom has gone to the director of nursing at the home, and the director of the nursing home. Several comments have been made that are not very nice about my mom. But, she is not concerned about it as long as my grandmother is cared for properly.

Apparently, they have suspended the aide that was taking care of granny at night. When he comes back, they will be putting him on another wing. My question is why is he even coming back? It is obvious from his performance, that he is not doing a good job. I need to state that we are not the only family that is not happy with the care he provides.

The main office of this facility is located in another state. I have the 800 number and mailing address of the home office. I am seriously considering writing them a letter detailing the incidents and what steps have/have not been taken. The aides are union at this nursing home. It seems that this is an intimidating factor in regards to how they are disciplined. I am not union but my mother has been in previous jobs. So, I do know that there are procedures that must be followed when dealing with anyone in a union. But, the state in which I live is an "at will to work" state.

Also, even though they are under a union contract, my state is not any of the states listed that follow certain guidelines concerning this.

Instead of taking action against this employees, they seem to be trying to make it harder on my mom. She made the comment that she hid in my grandmother's closet and did not see anyone enter her room for over 2 hours. Since they are supposed to make rounds every 2 hours, this is not acceptable. So now they have the aides checking the closets. They have also made the comment that mom is looking for a reason to file a lawsuit. This is not the case at all.

My grandmother's care is the only thing that is on my mom's mind. No one wants to go to court. But if your bed is soaked through and your clothes are wet, there is a definite problem in your house. We both worry about how they talk to and treat granny when we are gone. We hate to say anything because we know in the end she is the one that will suffer because of us. But, on the other hand, if we say nothing she still suffers. There are only 2 nursing homes in my area and this is the only long term one so we are essentially stuck.

I don't know what we are going to to. I only know that I am worried about my granny.

Choose Your Plague pt 2

2009-11-08T04:03:00.004-06:00

Since reading about the plagues and the significance of them, I have been looking at my own "plagues". Some would say my own gods and they would be right. We all have things we put before our relationship with God. The question is which of these things has God used as a plague to us?

I seem to have quite a few of these things. God is constantly showing me that this is not my god. He is always using some circumstance that involves a particular plague of mine to show me that I am not putting Him first and that this thing will not replace Him.

I have always had a very caustic sense of humor. I cannot read Numbers 11 without laughing. It is one of my favorite stories. I am constantly reminding myself to be careful that today's Manna can be tomorrow's quail. I think that is what God does with me and my plagues. He gives them to me until they are coming out my nose and I beg for mercy and relief.

Some of my plagues are common to all of us. Money, family, emotional rulings, etc. But some I never considered before are education, personal time, the need for my "space", work. When I let these things interfere or become bigger in my life than my relationship with God, they become a plague. God basically says, " This is what you asked for Inge'. Get ready because here it comes!"

I have come a long way in some of these areas. But, in others , well let's just say my nose hurts.

Do you have any plagues in your life? Id God using them to show you He must be first if you are to really grow?

Choose your Plague Pt 1

2009-11-08T03:22:00.006-06:00

If you do any type of research on the plagues of Egypt, you will find many explanations for them. Some try to debunk them altogether. Others try to explain them through natural events. But, most will compare them to the gods of Egypt. There is great significance in the plagues that God chose to bring upon Egypt and the meaning behind them.

The first is not really a plague; it is more of a demonstration of God's power.

1. The snake. While the Bible doesn't say what type of snake Aaron's rod became, we know from history that the cobra was the predominate snake symbol in Egypt. The cobra was a symbol of power. Since Pharaoh wore a cobra on his head, this symbolizes God overcoming the power of Pharaoh.

2. The Nile turned to blood and all the fish died. This was a two-fold strike. First, the Nile is considered the "river of life" in Egypt. The god Hapi, the spirit of the Nile, was considered the "giver of life" to all men. You also have the fish goddess Hatmeyt involved.

3. Frogs. The fertility goddess Hekt supposedly played a part in creation. However, she could not control the abundance of these frogs.

4. Lice. The only thing I could find on this was the fact that the magicians could only attribute it to "the finger of God" since they could not duplicate it.

5. Flies/Beetles. Some scholars think that this plague may have been flies of beetles but, I think it was as God said flies. Some soldiers wore a golden fly as a symbol of bravery. However, I am not sure what the fly god's name is.

6. The Death of Cattle. There were several gods associated with cattle. The goddess of love, Hathor was worshipped by Pharaoh.

7. Boils. This was directed at the god of healing, Im-Hotep.

8. Hail. The sky goddess Nut was supposed to protect the land from heavenly destruction. (hail, rain, etc.) Incidentally, she is also the mother of the sun god Ra.

9. Locusts. The locust-headed god was Senehem. The bible states that the locusts were so thick that the sky was sun was darkened. This is also one of the attacks against Ra.

10. Darkness. This was a direct hit on Ra. He made all growth possible. You can find many writings on the sun god Ra. Pharaoh referred to himself as the "son of the sun". Because he was so revered, this had to have a devastating effect on the Egyptians.

11. Death of the firstborn. This is another fact that thee movies misconstrued. This is the death of ALL firstborn regardless of age. All firstborn children, and animals. When you think about this it can be quite overwhelming. Imagine your firstborn son dying as a baby or as a young man. What if you only have one cow and it is the first born? Or one goat? Your livelihood is gone! I read something I found quite interesting. The fact that Pharaoh's son died like the animals, proved he was not a god! The article stated that this was directed not only at Pharaoh who considered himself a god, but at his son the future god of Egypt.

Now that you know some of the significance of the plagues, I can continue my thoughts in part deaux of this article.

Too Much TV

2009-11-04T19:28:00.004-06:00

I have decided that I watched "The Ten Commandments" way too much as a child. I have learned so much while doing this study in Exodus!

I just finished reading chapters 7-10 in Exodus. This is the beginning of the plaques. I thought that when Moses and God spoke that Aaron would do the talking and Moses would get to do all the cool stuff. Well, after reading the Word, I realize that Charlton Heston has definitely clouded my thinking.

Aaron does do the talking but so does Moses. Moses does get to do some of the cool stuff but so does Aaron and, they also do some of it together. God also causes some of the plaques without either brother.

In chapter 7, we have the rod on the ground becoming a serpent. Aaron is the one that throws the rod down not Moses. Also in chapter 7, Aaron is the one that turns the Nile to blood. In chapter 8 we have Aaron causing the swarm of frogs and gnats. We also have the plaque of flies in chapter 8 but God does this one alone without either brother.

In chapter 9, God also causes the livestock to die. But, He uses Moses and Aaron to bring about the boils. God uses Moses to bring the hail at the end of chapter 9.

Chapter 10 brings the locusts and the darkness. Moses is the one used to do those.

I was amazed at the way God used both brothers in both roles to glorify Him. I cannot say that Pharaoh has surprised me that much. When I look at my own life and realize just how much I had hardened myself against God, I am only surprised that God never has given up on me.

What I have learned from Pharaoh is this: I have "bargained" with God far too much in my life. I have made too many promises that I did not keep. I just did not want to get off the fence. It was easier for me to say this and do that, than to be the woman I knew God wanted me to be. Suffice it to say, I have paid and in some cases I am still paying for those decisions. But, my faith is stronger and my love for the Lord is stronger and I know that I can get through this and much more with Him.

So, I guess I won't be watching as much tv in the future. Mom was right. It will rot your brain!

Granny Updates

2009-10-31T14:52:00.004-05:00

I have been working a lot this past week, so I am behind in my blogging. that only means one thing....I will be posting several today to catch up.

Now on to Granny. Since my last post, her care has improved. I don't know if the aide in question was talked to or what. I just know that granny is clean and dry no matter what time I show up. Since I know the key code, I can get in anytime so I have been making "popcorn" visits in the early hours of the morning and late at night.

I have decided to be less friendly also. I know this sounds harsh. I am not rude or mean. But I am more business like if you will. I feel this is a necessary tactic to ensure that those in charge know that my granny and her care is all I really care about.

My mom has been able to go and visit her more so that is a good thing. Her back is still not 100 percent but at least she can drive and do other things again.

This ensures that granny gets afternoon visits and early evening visits when I am at work.

All in all, granny's care has been good. But, as with anything, there will be slip ups and they will have to be handled accordingly. Thanks to all the sound advice I have received from you guys, I feel that I can handle the next situation more effectively. Thank you all for your concern and words of encouragement and advice.
I value all of you and I am grateful for your concern.

What a Fool am I

2009-10-29T16:56:00.003-05:00

I was listening to James MacDonald this morning while throwing papers. Nothing like a good healthy dose of reality and conviction from God to start off your day.

He just started a new series on the book of Proverbs. While I enjoy Proverbs, and I almost always find something for someone else there, I was not prepared for what I heard the other day.

The first person I shared this with was my prayer partner. Since she derives great joy from spiritually killing me with Oswald Chambers, I figured I would return the favor:) I also felt compelled to share this with all of you. Spread the wealth if you will.

Let me start by saying that in my naivete, I thought only the unsaved could be considered fools or foolish. The saved were "babies" or "fallen" or "stumbling" anything but foolish. Suffice it to say, I now know differently.

The first feature of foolishness is:
1. Being offended at being ignored. "They didn't even thank me". "They didn't even bother to speak." "They didn't even notice my efforts." You get the idea.

2. Being offended at being insulted. You can ignore me but if you insult me....
This can be verbal or not.

3. Being afflicted. You can ignore me, even insult me, but if you inflict some type of pain on me.... I'm talking hurt pride, broken heart, hurt feelings, you understand. In some cases, there can be physical affliction, but that is better left to someone better equipped to discuss.

Now on to my personal confession. I have been having issues with all 3 of these lately. I cannot begin to describe how I felt when I realized that this is considered foolish behavior by God.

The point that MacDonald brings up, is that Christ went through all of this. He was ignored,insulted, and afflicted. What did he say to those that brought all this upon Him? NOTHING.

In my zeal to defend myself or justify my own actions or words, I forget that if I will just say nothing, do nothing, God WILL protect my reputation. He is faithful to His own. He protects His own and He will get my justice for me in a way that I could never devise on my own.

The problem is that I feel that I have to say something or do something. It is very hard to just take it. It goes against all of my human nature to do so. The good news is that God knows this. Because He knows this, He is willing to continue working on me and that always gives me hope.

You can go to Walk in the Word and download his sermons for free including this one.

May This Never Happen Again

2009-10-21T15:34:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was supposed to be a fun filled day at the nursing home. I had a big day of girly pampering all planned for Granny and I. I'm talking facials, hair, mani-pedi, the whole regalia.

I get there and she is alone in the day room. This is a small rec room across from the nurse's station. The front of it is all glass so you can see in from quite a distance down the hall.

I see several aides (at least 3), and 1 nurse on my way to get granny. When I get in there, she has something in her hand and it is not her hat if you get my drift. Fortunately, there was a towel on the table behind her and I was able to get it out of her hand so we could get to her room.

I am beyond furious. When I get that angry, I have to be very careful. It is very easy for me to slip into using very graphic and more often than not, profane ways of expressing myself. But, because the welfare of my grandmother is at stake, I was able to maintain some semblance of control.

I stopped an aide and a nurse on the hallway and inquired as to who should be taking care of my grandmother at that point. No one seemed to be able to come up with a name. Imagine that. So, I take granny to her room and proceed to clean her up. This is not a short process considering the condition she was in when I found her. I won't go into graphic details but she did have on 2 "pull ups" and her clothes were dirty. I went down the hall and tried to speak with one of the head nurses on duty at the time. Since she was tied up on the phone, I went to the main nurse.

I voiced my opinion and told her what was going on with my grandmother. I did not use any profanity, but, I did catch myself getting a little loud as I am wont to do when greatly agitated. I was told she would "investigate the matter" and get back to me. She seemed more interested in who had the authority to do anything, my mother or me. I told her that I had a copy of the POA and so should she. I also told her to make whatever phone calls she needed to make to assure herself of my authority.

Today my mom goes down there to follow up. She is told that my grandmother did not have diarrhea and that I was mistaken in stating that she did. This has only poured gasoline on an already burning issue with me. Had I stopped to think, I would have taken pictures of granny. I have done that in the past when I felt an issue would be swept under the rug. But, my biggest concern at that moment was getting granny taken care of. She was so pitiful. I almost cried. She told me she was ready for the Lord to take her. She has never said that before.

Normally, granny has very good care. The aides there know my mom and I and they know that we are very involved with granny's care. Granny gets a visit from one or both of us almost everyday.

I will be better prepared for the next episode. I will definitely take photos and this head nurse will not be able to deny the condition I find granny in the next time I can assure you.

I am writing this for 2 reasons. The first one is to educate others. It doesn't matter how often you visit or how long you stay, there will come a time when your loved one will not taken be care of as they should be. You need to have a plan of action when this occurs. The other reason is to get it off my chest. I feel so bad that I did not do anything more to help granny. In hindsight, I can see where I should have done some things that I just didn't think to do. I won't make that mistake again.

On the upside, we did do nails and hair. I painted granny's nails for Halloween. Alternating orange and black. She thought that was very funny. I also fixed her hair and perfumed her up so she could feel pretty. When I left she told me, "I look pretty good today." That makes it all worth it.

The Staff of Moses

2009-10-17T04:48:00.003-05:00

If you read Exodus 3-4, you will find that this is where God instructs Moses to use his staff when he goes back to Egypt. The shepherd's staff is a very unique and useful tool. The staff is used to guide the sheep back into the fold. He will also use his staff to guide a baby back to its mother. The staff is used to rescue sheep from precarious situations and to guide them closer to the shepherd for closer examination.

The question that is asked in my study is, what is your staff? What tool do you have that God could use for His glory within the Body? Some things that come to mind are: teaching, mentoring, singing, playing an instrument, having a special rapport with children/teens, etc. I don't have any of these qualities. I am only good with my own children. I can't sing or play anything. My life is so checkered that I am not sure I would even know how to mentor a young girl. But... I can organize things. I can embellish an idea and sometimes I can help with writing letters and such. So maybe I do have a staff of sorts.

I was also totally blown away when I read that God met Moses at an inn on his way to Egypt with the intention of killing him. This is Moses for crying out loud. I had to read it twice and read 2 commentaries to make sure I was reading it right. Why would God want to kill Moses? He has not even made it to Egypt yet. Funny you should ask. Moses took his wife Zipporah and his sons with him. If you will think back, Moses' mother was his wet nurse. The Bible does not say, but I think that she told him of the promise to God to Abraham. Moses seemed to know from whence he came. So he should have known that when his sons were 8 days old they were to be circumcised. He had not done so with his own son. Moses was braking the covenant with God! Zipporah does the deed. I will not go into details but you can read it for yourself in Exodus 4:23-26.

In John Wesley's commentary, he seems to think at this point Moses sent the wife and kids back home. The Bible does not say so we cannot be sure. But Wesley does make a very valid point. When we are called by God to perform a specific service, we should remove anything that would be a hindrance to us.

Matthew Henry states that when God brings our shortcomings to mind, we should amend it as soon as possible. Confess and repent in other words.

Instead of dwelling on all my many missed opportunities, I am trying to focus on what "staff" I have that God will use to further the kingdom. I am trying to "clear my account" with God so that we can start anew and I can be the woman that He uses and not the woman that looks for someone to take her place.

MRSA is on the Loose Again

2009-10-15T20:37:00.002-05:00

There are at least 2 people in the nursing home with MRSA. This is definitely nothing to play around with.

There was a time when you only had to worry about this in a hospital or long term health facility, such as a nursing home. Now, children in schools, those going through basic training for the military, and many others are at risk.

Since cold and flu season is upon us, germs will be in much larger numbers in our homes, schools, and work places. From what I have been able to read, there are some things we can do to prevent MRSA from infecting us.

Hand Washing - As many of us realize, hand washing with soap is a major preventive for a plethora of germs. Using an alcohol based sanitizer helps, but some articles state that using a cleanser with Chlorhexidine is more effective.

Essential Oil Diffusion - Interestingly enough, certain essential oils seem to be quite effective in combating this infection. I am assuming that since diffusion is the method used, it would be used as a room deodorizer. The most effective oils tested were: Lemongrass, Lemon Myrtle, Mountain Savory, Cinnamon,and Melissa oils. Lemongrass is the most effective, completely inhibiting all colony growth. Tea Tree oil kills all MRSA strains that have been tested.

This is a highly contagious infection. If you have any cuts on your hands make sure you wear gloves when handling a person or their clothing that has MRSA.

My grandmother has contracted this twice since she has been living in the nursing home. I have been very fortunate in that I have not contracted this. My mother however, has and it was very difficult for her to overcome it. I wear 2 pairs of gloves when handling anything in my grandmother's room. She thinks this is very funny and we both enjoy a laugh over me being the "doctor". I am constantly spraying her room with Lysol and cleaning with my own cleaning products.

I hope that everyone has a safe fall/winter. Protection and prevention are key to keeping our health.

No Rest for the Weary

2009-10-12T16:23:00.004-05:00

I would like to thank all of my followers that left me such kind and encouraging comments on my last post. You were all so loving and and kind. I really needed that!

I have been filling my days with very little spiritual nourishment these last few weeks. Since my mother hurt her back, I have been going to the nursing home as much as possible to take care of Granny. I have also been working my regular job, and I have been throwing papers for this guy for about 2 months straight! When I am not working or sleeping, I am getting ready to work or sleep it seems. When I am awake, I don't seem to have the gumption to open the Word or my studies. That is my goal this week. To get back in the groove.

My mother just recently lost her job. She has been out of work on FMLA for about 3 weeks now. They called her at home to tell her they were laying her off due to lack of business. This has been quite a blow to her. I have been trying to remain positive for her, but that takes its toll after a while. She also finally found out what was wrong with her back. She has a mild form of Spina Bifida. Imagine that! She did not even know. So now she is weighing her options to see what she can to ease the pain and live a more normal life.

I on the other hand, have a dirty house, mounds of laundry, and a bed that seems to constantly be calling my name:) Mom did offer to come and help me get the house in order which was really sweet of her. But.....I would be ashamed for her to see my house in such disarray! I still may take her up on the offer if she is physically able. She has to take a lot of breaks during the day because she cannot stand or sit for any length of time.

Oh well, life goes on. I am thankful for all of you, my Internet friends. I am also thankful that I have a job, a home, and my health. My grandmother is doing well and so are the kids. God is gracious even in my semi-rebellious state.

Need to go and round up dinner. I do appreciate all of you and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

Does God Understand Why I Say Such Things?

2009-10-08T23:44:00.004-05:00

My grandmother rarely asks about other family members. She just doesn't remember them anymore. Occasionally she will ask about this one or that one. Usually she will tell me who is no longer living that she remembers.

This week while visiting her, Granny asked about her second husband. I usually handle this one of 2 ways depending on how she phrases it. If she tells me he is gone, then I know she knows he is dead. But, if she asks me if I have seen him, I know she has no idea that he is no longer living. So she asks me if I have seen him. I tell her no. Then she asks about his whereabouts. Since he used to work on an off-shore oil rig, that is what I tell her. He is working. So she waits a few minutes and asks me if he is coming to see her today. Again, I tell her no that he is working.

Now, my biggest concern is always for Granny's emotional well-being. I do not want to upset her ever. I cannot bring myself to tell her that the people she is asking about are no longer living.

But....I almost always walk away feeling guilty because I lied to her. I know full well how God feels about sin. But I also know that God knows my heart. Still, I can't help but wonder, does God forgive me this? Should I keep confessing this because it is sin or is there some comfort in His word that I have missed?

I don't mean to sound so spiritually immature. I usually know how to handle such things. I think my recent lackadaisical attitude towards my studies has a lot to do with this.

I am curious as to what your thoughts are on this issue. Will keep you posted. By the way, the flower I chose for this post is the "Forget-Me-Not".

Too Full for Dessert

2009-09-30T21:54:00.002-05:00

I have been listening to James Macdonald this week. For those of you that have been following me for awhile, you know how much I like him. He offers free downloads of his daily sermons on his site and I have many of them.

This week he is teaching from the 3 Johns. I must say, these little books really pack a punch and I am not liking it at all.

Yesterday, he taught from 1 John chapter 2. He stayed mainly on verses 15-17. You can read these for yourself at your leisure. The point he was making is that we fill ourselves up on so many other things, that we don't save room for God. The analogy he used was eating. If you eat a big meal, you are to full for dessert.

This has gotten me to thinking about what all I fill myself up on. I have to admit, it is a lot of junk. Games, tv, socializing, books with little or no substance. This affects my character and how I react to others in my life. I become short tempered, rude, caustic, and just plain mean. I am also exhausted. I have managed to fill my time up with so many things that do nothing to make me a better person, that I just don't have the strength to turn to the Word.

I like many others, tend to put God last instead of first. But, I have to admit, I miss Him. I miss talking to Him. Even if it was a major cleansing. I miss the little things He shows me. I miss His still small voice.

That is the main reason I am so excited about this new study I have started. I am getting back on track so to speak. While I am not in total rebellion, I am far enough off the course. I know this is going to be a painful process for me. I do not look forward to seeing what I have allowed myself to become. I really dread the make-up tests I am going to have to take. But I know that God is merciful and gracious even to me. I also know that when I emerge on the other side, I will be closer to Him than ever before and that is the prize I am reaching for.

Moses the Man

2009-09-29T13:01:00.004-05:00

I have just started a new study in Exodus. I am really excited because there is so much in Exodus. Also, I am not that well versed in the Old Testament, so this gives me an opportunity to learn more about the character of God and about myself.

Since I just started this study, not a lot has happened yet. Moses has just seen the burning bush for the first time. While I was in my small group study last week I noticed something about the women there. They all seem to revere Moses. This got me to thinking about how I fell about Moses and I wonder who is off base, me or them?

I am definitely not trying to be mean or have one of those dreaded holier-than-thou attitudes. I just see Moses a little differently I guess.

First of all, he was curious. He tries to go behind the bush to see why it is not being consumed. All these women are talking like he saw it out of the corner of his eye. No, he saw it dead on and wanted to know what was up with it. Just like we would have done.

Next you have Moses and God speaking. This never ceases to amaze me. He gives God excuses! I know we all give God excuses as to why can't do this or say that, but he verbalizes them OUT LOUD to God. Since God already knew this would happen, He puts plan B into action. Aaron will do all the talking. The Bible doesn't say this but can you imagine that conversation between Moses and his brother? So, they go before Pharaoh and Moses can't say anything. So Aaron gets to glorify God with his words. This brings to my memory the story or Esther and her uncle. He told her if you don't step up to the plate, God will find someone else to.

Then you have the whole 10 commandments thing. Moses goes up to the mount and spends 40 days/nights there. While he is there, he gets the 10 commandments. The Bible doesn't say this, but, some commentaries I have read have said that the stone upon which they were written could have been from God. God could possibly have His own stones there or just decided to use what was on hand. This makes me wonder what if they were stones from heaven? Rubies are stones. So are diamonds and emeralds. Anyway, Moses sees the finger of God writing these commandments. The finger of God!!

God tells him get down from here the people are acting like idiots. They are making and worshiping idols. Who started this? The Bible says the multitudes. These were the people that left with the Israelites. They were not Jewish. Who leads the pack? Aaron! What does Moses do? He gets so mad that he throws the 10 commandments and breaks them. Now he just saw the finger of God at work. You know that there was some kind of noise going on up there that the people heard. With all that they have witnessed, what were they thinking? God is just going to take Moses and leave them there?

So now I am asking myself, what burning bushes have I just walked by without a second thought? What are some that I have stopped at only to talk myself out of acting on? What word has God given me to share with others that I have just thrown at them in my anger? How many times have I decided that God has forgotten me and turned to my own means to solve an issue?

What is encouraging is that God never gave up on Moses. Because of his relationship with God, he became one to the greatest intercessory prayer warriors of the Bible. No doubt about it, he was a great man but he was just a man.

Easter is Finally Over

2009-09-28T22:42:00.005-05:00

My grandmother is in a semi-private room at the nursing home. When she first moved in this room, she was near the door. When her roommate passed, mom and I moved her near the window. This is the "primo" space in any facility be it a hospital, long term care, or even airplane.

During Easter, mom and I put some window clings on her window. She liked them so much that we were not allowed to take them down. So, while I was perusing Wal Mart the other night, I found her some Halloween clings. She watched very intently while I took the old ones down and put the new ones up.

Since granny loves children, I was able to find some fun ones of little kids dressed up and some kittens being playful. I think she likes them. She was not quite herself this afternoon so I won't know for sure until I visit again tomorrow.

But at least we are now caught up on the holidays.

Aricept: Friend or Foe

2009-09-25T10:03:00.002-05:00

When Granny came here to live, we weren't sure just how long she had been living with Alzheimer's. My grandmother was always very good at masking things about herself. My extended family did not administer the type of care that welcomed pointed questions about granny's health.

So she comes up here and mom and I begin a whole series of appointments with various doctors. This takes months. Since I work nights, we would schedule them on my days off. Unfortunately, they would almost always fall on the day I got off at 2 or 3 am. Then we would have to be a the doctor's by 8 or 9 am. So I slept in exam rooms, waiting rooms, etc. At that time granny was still mobile and could tell me things about how she was feeling. So I would put my head in her lap and nap til we were called back.

One of the doctors we went to see, recommended that we start granny on Aricept. Now granny was diagnosed with moderate to severe Alzheimer's when she got here. The problem with Aricept is that it works best when it works, with people with mild to moderate Alzheimer's. You can go to many different sites on this drug and get many different opinions about which stages it actually helps. The problem with this drug are the side affects.

Since my mother is the primary Power of Attorney person, what she says goes. We discussed this at length. I felt that we should give it a try. Then I read some of the side effects. I also read that we have about a 50-50 chance of it even doing anything. My mom and I discussed this at great length. She decided that the side effects were to great to give granny a drug that may or may not make a difference in her quality of life.

Since this drug does not cure Alzheimer's, it only slows down the progression of the disease, I related this decision to her doctor. Do I fell I should have argued with my mother? No. Do I feel it would have made a difference in my grandmother's quality of life? No. The drug only postpones the symptoms for about 6-12 months. I couldn't see putting my grandmother through some of these effects for 1 year.

A lot of people would argue me down on this. But, if granny had mild Alzheimer's when she arrived, then I would have argued that point with my mom. But, granny has lived a long life. Her later years are filled with laughter and joy. She is surrounded by those that truly love her and care for her. Has she been the best mom or grandmother? No. But, have you? Have I? She is the best grandmother to me and the best mom to my mother. That is what matters.

While the choice mom and I made may not be the right choice for you, I would recommend that you do your own research and come to your own conclusions. Do not be swayed by others that are not involved in the care of your loved one. If they are not part of the care now, they won't be when it gets tough. You have to consider all the possibilities with any change to your loved one's medications. Be an informed caregiver. This is the best thing for you and your loved one.

Granny Updates

2009-09-23T18:36:00.003-05:00

I really have not talked about my grandmother recently. I have had a lot on my plate these days.

My mom hurt her back 3 weeks ago and I have been doing double duty with Granny. The good thing is she is still in good spirits and has not gotten sad or upset because mom has not been able to visit. On the down side, I am tired!!

We have mani-pedi day once a week and she really likes that. Since my daughter is young, and granny is young at heart, I use B's nail polish. Granny loves the bright pinks and oranges. Last week when I finished, she held her hands out and said, "Look at that! Aren't they pretty! Who did that?" Mind you it had only been about 10 minutes so I don't know if she really forgot or was just teasing me. I prefer to think it was the latter.

We have had a problem with rashes lately. Her bottom was quite red and irritated last week. Thankfully, I did not have to act ignorant to get them to do something and she has recovered.

Today when I went to see her, she was roaming the halls. This is always a good sign. When I got her to her room, we had a mess to clean up. I won't go into deatils but I will say that I wish I had unlimited access to the showers because that would have made things much easier on both of us. Anyway, while I am cleaning her up she says, "I asked the Lord to help me and He sent you. You are my baby." How touching is that?

Tomorrow is mani-pedi day and I have some purple/pinkish polish to put on her nails. She is going to love it!

Life in Your Hands

2009-09-21T12:57:00.004-05:00

Normally, I try to stay away from really touchy subjects on here. I usually save all that for my face book page. But being a Christian and having friends that are trying to deal with this issue in their lives, I wanted to share this with all of you. I would be remiss in my faith if I did not.

Now that I have put up my disclaimer, we can get on with today's hot topic. There is a movie trailer out that I am endorsing here. The title is Blood Money. As of now, there is not enough money to get it distributed in movie theatres. The group is working on that. The movie is about abortion. I know this is a very touchy subject for women that consider themselves progressive and are trying to move up in the world.

Unless you have had an abortion (which I have not), you cannot possibly know the pain both physical and mental that comes with this decision. I do have friends that have made the decision to abort their babies. This still is with them years after the deed was done. This is a life altering decision. The complications surrounding this "safe" procedure are unbelievable.

The movie exposes Planned Parenthood and the deception they have used to further their agenda. I am not sure how many people know the truth about Margaret Sanger, but it would behoove you to really read up on her so you will know what Planned Parenthood's original agenda was. If you do this, you will see that the agenda really has not changed over the years.

While I do not advocate premarital sex, or teen pregnancy, I think that you have to arm yourself with as much truth as possible. I see no problem with birth control and if you as a parent are unwilling to talk with your children about this issue, you really need to get over it before your daughter makes a decision that will forever change her life.

I urge you to consider visiting the Blood Money site and watching the movie trailer. I would also encourage you to go beyond what the MSM touts about pro lifers and truly educate yourself. I have been to numerous protests at abortion clinics and I have seen these young girls with their mothers coming and going from the clinic. No one looks happy with the decision that was made.

I am getting off my soapbox now.

Now I Can't Read?!

2009-09-20T09:16:00.011-05:00

One of my favorite times of the year is coming up. I am talking about Banned Books Week. Back when I had more money, I would make it a point of buying at least 5 books that were banned.

Since I my love of reading is well known, I used this opportunity to explain to my children why I thought books should not be banned. I feel that many groups and governments including ours, fail to realize that we do have some common sense. While I would not let my elementary age child read something like Catcher in the Rye, I read it as a high school student as I am sure many of you did. I don't think it warped my mind nor do I fell the need to go and do something totally stupid because of it.

Part of having the freedoms that we have, is the ability to make choices about what we allow into our lives. When we allow others to make these choices for us, we are giving up our free thought. We are allowing our lives to be dictated by a select few.

While there are many books on the list that I would not personally read, that does not mean that the choice should be taken from others. Below are the top 10 banned books for 2009.

If you go to the ALA's site, you can find a wealth of information on what type of groups challenge books how books are banned and why certain books have been banned.

10. The Color Purple. It has been banned because of its extreme and graphic violence, troubling ideas about relations between races, African history, human sexuality, and man’s relationship with God.

9. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. The book has been banned because of its explicit scenes of rape and other sexual abuse, as well as violence, homosexuality, and vulgar language.

8.To Kill A Mockingbird. The book has been challenged many times because of how it deals with race issues. It is extremely prejudice and stereotypical. The novel also portrays an assault that is somewhat sexual, resulting in a rape. Vulgar language, including the “n” word, is also used.

7. Brave New World. The book has been banned for its strong themes of drugs, sexuality, and suicide. In the novel, something as minute as chewing gum is seen as a way to deliver sex hormones, and pornographic films are spread around like free candy. Simply, Brave New World has been banned and challenged for its negativity, the latest being in 1993.

6. 1984. The book was first banned in 1984 by the American Library Association because of its “bleak warning of totalitarian government and censorship.” Many see the novel as one that is expressing immoral themes, as well as being pro-Communist. The book tosses around the idea of “Big Brother,” which is still highly influential and popular in culture today. The book has also been challenged for sexual themes.

5. Lolita. This book has been banned in many European countries for its sexual content. Believe it or not, it has not been banned in the US.

4. Catcher in the Rye. This book is so widely known that it really needs no explanation. But, many feel that teens will look up to Holden, the main character. There is much controversy surrounding the book because of its slang, violence, sex and moral issues.

3. The Harry Potter Series. Since the first book’s publishing in 1997, the series has been under much scrutiny. In 2001, parents from all over the U.S. and other parts of the world challenged the book because of its witchcraft, violence, the occult, and its overall scariness. Years later, the series is still banned and challenged for the same reasons, including lying, cheating, stealing, ghosts, and promoting Wicca ideology.

2.Candide. The Great Council of Geneva banned the book after its release, but more than 30,000 copies sold in a year. In 1930, U.S. Customs seized Harvard-bound copies of Candide, and then in 1944 the U.S. Post Office wanted the book dropped from Concord Books.

1. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Here in the U.S., the book was banned in 1885, a year after it was published. At first, the book was banned for its use of slang, which was seen as demeaning. Over time, the focus shifted towards the fact that the novel uses the “n” word so many times, in fact over 200 times. Many cannot get around the fact that such a derogatory word is used so much.

What I did notice is that The Bible did not make the top 10. I didn't even see it on the top 100. Nor did any of Darwin's writings or the Koran. I am sure this has to be some sort of oversight by someone. These books are just too controversial in some circles not to be banned or at least challenged.

I hope you take some time in the future to expand your reading and maybe pick a banned book or two even it if is just to feel a little revolutionary.

A New Quicker Picker Upper

2009-09-19T10:36:00.004-05:00

So this week's challenge by Small Footprints is what we down her in the south call a real booger bear.

Are you ready for this? No paper towels for a week!! 7 whole days. The Styrofoam thing was really tough because there are so many things that you buy that are only packaged with Styrofoam. But this...well this really takes some creativity on my part.

I don't use a lot of paper towels but when I do, it seems as though that is the only thing that will do. We use a redneck version of a cloth napkin and I use old towels that I have torn for drying dishes and the like.

But...when I cook I wash my meat and lay it on paper towels to dry a little before cooking. In order to reduce my use I have decided to use my colander to replace the paper towels.

I also use paper towels to dry my cast iron cookware. I have begun to use towels for this also.

The problem is french fries. I love french fries! But I have to find an alternative to drain them on. I used to use paper grocery bags but they seem to be extinct. I guess I could also use my colander for that too. We will see.

Anyway, the good news is that my family is starting to get into the groove of this. Hubs is all over it but my daughter B has been a little reluctant. But she is making a serious effort to get on board and I applaud her valiant efforts.

Cabin Fever

2009-09-18T05:55:00.006-05:00

I seem to be stuck in a rut. I don't know what is going on.

Maybe it is because it has rained almost everyday for the last 2 weeks and I can't get outside. Maybe it is because I know that when it finally stops raining, I will need a bush hog to cut my grass.

Or...it could be because my mom hurt her back a couple of weeks ago and I have been working, trying to help her out and taking care of granny and I am just tired.

Then again it could be I am just having a pity party. I haven't baked the pity cake yet but I am wearing the pity tiara it would seem.

Oh well. Life goes on and to quote my favorite movie character, "Tomorrow is another day."

Don't Tear Me Down - Widget

2009-09-17T07:50:00.002-05:00

So You Want to be a Marine

2009-09-17T05:52:00.005-05:00

I have not been enlisted in the USMC for a long time. A lot has changed since I was at Parris Island. Women in my day did not qualify with a rifle, participate in the obstacle course, or do any type of combat training. That has all changed now. The one remaining constant is that women in the USMC still do not train along side the men. Personally, I think that is a good thing.

I recently received a request for "details" of my military life. Here are some of the more humorous things that I still remember. I hope that you all can laugh along with me.

I think they still only train women at Parris Island, SC. I arrived at the airport in some small town off the coast at like 2 in the morning. I think they do this on purpose. Anyway, there was no female Drill Instructor there so the male DI made me sit in the airport away from everyone else. All the young men that arrived, had to stand up beside him facing the wall. They were in a platoon formation and they stood there for what seemed like hours.

When we finally get on the bus to leave, the DI starts pacing the bus and telling us that we have to turn over any weapons that we have. You would be surprised at what you could take on a plane then. Almost all of us had a knife of some sort.

So we get to Parris Island and when we get off the bus, there are these yellow footprints painted on the ground. We all have to stand on them. Then the yelling starts. "Stand at attention!" "Eyes to the center!" "Hands down!" You get the drift. I went to boot camp in October so it is still dark and it is cold at 3 in the morning.

Then we all go in this room and we are weighed again and our luggage is searched. Since I was under the minimum weight allowed and "cheated" to get in, I was worried that they would send me back home. But, obviously their scales were wrong because they put me in at the minimum allowed weight.

You are given a list of things to bring before you leave. Most of this you will not need. Anyway, you have to take all items that are not allowed and put them in a bag with your name on them. You get this back after basic.

So the women get back on the bus after at least 2 hours of this and go to the women's barracks. By now it is daylight and you have missed breakfast. On the way there, we see these people marching with flashlights. We assume they are practicing for something. Little did we know that the next morning that would be us and they were going to breakfast. IN THE DARK!

We also had to go through the gas chamber. This is not fun. They use these tear gas tablets and you want to be in the first group to go in. The reason is they keep adding tablets and if you are in the later groups you get all that gas. So because I am so small, my gas mask did not fit properly. I could not get a good seal on it. You go in and they start talking to you. "Remove your mask." So everyone has to take the mask off. If anyone freaks out at this point, you all have to stay in there until they calm down. Needless to say, I was in one of the last groups. Some girl thought she was going to start screaming and I think the girl next to her hit her or something because she calmed down real quick.

Since this gas is in your hair, clothes, all over your body, any thing you touch will burn. We came out and every orifice on my face was running. Naturally I want to touch my face. Fortunately, I turned towards the wind and that helped to stop all the flowing rivers from my eyes and nose.

When I wrote my mom about this all I said was "we went to through the gas chamber today." My mom freaks! She calls my recruiter and asks what are they trying to do kill me or something? So he calls Parris Island and they get in touch with my DI. I have to go and call my mom and let her know that I am still alive and all is well.

There are a lot of things you are not allowed to have in basic training. You are allowed to get packages from home, but, you have to open them in the presence of the DI. Any contraband is taken then. Depending on their mood, any number of things can happen. So, in every letter I sent home, I always ended it with "Please send no candy!!" I saw too many women do pt (physical training), as punishment for getting contraband.

That's enough for now. Hope you enjoyed my little trip down memory lane. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!!

Party Animals

2009-09-14T15:49:00.002-05:00

We all got together for my grandmother's 93rd birthday party today. Some of us could not be there but we still had a lot of fun! Hubs had to work and my grandson was at his sister's house. But I will let the pics speak for themselves.

My fabulous grandmother...

My daughter B and granny...

Me being all regal...

My son J and granny....words cannot describe this relationship!

Kisses from my mom.....

The silly group photo. The man on the right is my mom's friend David. He has the biggest heart of any man I know.

There were many more pics taken but I just wanted to show the highlights. A good time was had by all especially granny!

Happy Anniversary to Me!

2009-09-14T03:29:00.004-05:00

Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. I can't believe I am still with the same man after all these years. To be sure it has been very trying at times for both of us. We have really put each other through the wringer.

But today we are celebrating the fact that we are still beating the odds. I thought I would post some of my more memorable moments that I think of when the thrill is on vacation.

There was the time my daughter B wanted a Barbie car for Christmas. She was about 4 or 5 and she never asked for anything. Not before that and not really since. Barbie cars were really hot then and we searched high and low to no avail. We knew a girl that worked at Wal Mart and there was one car at her store. It was in the back because the box was damaged. She saved if for us and Doug waited in line with this car for hours. Even had some guy offer him 200.00 for it. Doug told him if he came home without that car he was more than dead meat. We had only been married about 3 years and this was a very big deal to me.

Then there was the time he fixed me a reading space for Valentine's Day. He didn't like me isolating myself to read, so he created a space for me that was in the front of the house but still quiet enough for me to read.

When my son decided things were greener away from home at the age of 16, Doug backed me up on every decision I made. He helped me to track him down, talked with the police, sat in court with me and gave me advice that everyone else was afraid to give me.

My most touching memory has to be this last one. We were separated and not for the last time, Doug wanted to get back together. This was a bad separation and I just was not sure that we could go on as a couple. We discussed some of the major reasons we were apart. I told him that I just didn't know if I still loved him. His words to me were, "That's okay. I can love you enough for both of us." That was the clincher for me. He was willing to be with me knowing that I may never trust him again. Knowing that I may never believe another word he ever spoke to me again. Knowing that I may always question if not aloud at least to myself, every move he made.

We have come a long way since then. We still have our issues to be sure, but we are always looking more for the compromise than the all or nothing. I think I will keep him a while longer.