Critical Errors

The Office Is Closed

2013-05-25T15:06:00.000-07:00

I remember my dad telling me about the last time he saw Willie Mays play. It was in 1973, Willie’s last year. Willie had been traded to the Mets from the Giants the previous year for Charlie Williams, a pitcher who only appeared in three games that year and posted an ERA of 8.86(!), and $50,000. Willie was a shell of his former self, and in the last at-bat my dad saw him make, the Hall of Famer and arguably greatest player ever, got a hit….and fell down on his way to first base. It was hard to watch, I’m sure.

Like an aging star athlete NBC’s The Office has fallen down on its way to first numerous times as it played out it’s final seasons. Like Willie with the Mets, Michael Jordan with the Wizards, Jerry Rice with the Seahawks, or Rickey Henderson with the Mets, Mariners, Padres, Red Sox, Dodgers, Newark Bears, et. al., sometimes the greats just can’t call it quits and hang around too long.

The last two seasons of The Office have been pretty close to an unmitigated disaster. Ever since Steve Carell’s Michael Scott found love and left the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company (“the people person's paper people”) for Colorado, the show didn’t really seem to know what to do with itself. Like a great athlete in decline, it was occasionally able to show a flash of what once made it great, but the flashes were few and far too brief. From the bizzaro creeper antics of James Spader’s Robert California, to the ill-conceived promotion of Andy to Regional Manager and effectively turning him into a Michael Scott clone (and a poor one at that), to this seasons manufactured Halpert Family Crisis that couldn’t have felt more like a manufactured crisis if the show had been titled The Factory instead of The Office, the show that had once been a pacesetter, now seemed like a broken down old clunker. Perhaps Michael Scott put it best, speaking unknowingly prophetically:

But despite it’s fall from grace over the past two or three seasons, I still watch it every week. Though now I’m hoping to be surprised by some genuinely funny moment, no longer expecting it. I saw a commenter on a bulletin board explain it this way. It's like visiting a grandparent in a nursing home. You hope it'll be like old times but know it won't be as they’re just a shadow of their former self. But you visit because you love them and remember all the good times you had. And even though its not what you hope for or remember you're glad you came. That sums it up about perfectly.

My wife and I loved The Office. We watched it every week, and usually together. Back in those early days, and this is really silly, we both even had TV crushes on Jim and Pam. Her for Jim, me for Pam, just so we’re clear. I was friends with Jenna Fischer and Robert R. Shafer (Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration) on MySpace and actually interacted with them. Robert’s a big Angels fan, like me. I remember how revolutionary it looked the first time I saw it. I had never seen it’s forebear, Rickey Gervais’ original BBC version, and loved the mockumentary style. I loved how it focused on these small moments for the big laughs. A throw away comment there, a sideways glance there, an awkward pause pretty much everywhere. It was so fresh and so brilliant. This is almost too geeky to admit, but I penned a little parody script to be acted out with my co-workers and friends in various roles and shot part of the opening credit sequence. Unlike Threat Level Midnight, the rest remains mercifully un-filmed and incomplete.

The writing was superb, but the cast was perfect. Carell never won an Emmy for playing Michael Scott, which is kind of inexplicable when you consider he made a bumbling, obnoxious neurotic who took a lack of self-awareness to soaring new ~~highs~~ lows and suffered from a near terminal case of foot-in-mouth disease, appear equally as sympathetic and lovable. Carell’s brilliance was even more apparent when he left the show after Season 7 and, as mentioned earlier, the writers tried to turn Ed Helms’ Andy “Nard Dawg” Bernard into Michael Scott 2.0. There can be only one Michael Scott, and Steve Carell is he.

John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer had such natural onscreen chemistry as Jim and Pam that it was almost hard to remember they were not in fact real people in a real relationship. They both have the chops to play funny and romantic, often at the same time, in a way better than I’ve ever seen. Their arc this season has been much debated, some praising the marital strife to show not even the Halperts have a perfect storybook relationship. Others, and I’m probably more in this camp, bemoaning it as a manufactured crisis to whip up some quick drama to breath some semblance of life into a dying franchise using its two most popular remaining characters. Maybe it’s not so much the concept of throwing a monkey wrench into Jim and Pam’s world I didn’t like, but the clunky execution. If they had stuck with just the Athlead/move-to-Philly storyline and skipped the whole Brian the sound guy angle, it may have come off a lot smoother and natural. Jim has, after all, had a penchant for making big decisions without filling in Pam on the details over the years and some other groundwork for Jim’s itchy feet had been laid this season when the Halperts attended Roy’s wedding to find him doing extremely well for himself. At any rate, everything was resolved in a satisfying way and Krasinski and Fischer were terrific in the finale (more on that later).

And what can you say about Rainn Wilson as Dwight K. Schrute? The beet farming, head-banging, paper loving, power hungry, grandson to a Nazi war criminal grandmutter. It would be easy to say that Dwight was not a realistic character, but having worked in an office with a real life person not that far off from Dwight, I have to concur with Jim in his warning to Young Jim that Dwight is “very real.” Wilson is the perfect moon-faced actor to play Dwight. Even with Dwight’s aggressive weirdness, Wilson was able to bring out his human qualities, whether it was the hurt after his breakup with Angela, or in watching his relationships with Jim and Pam evolve from adversarial to almost sibling-esque.

Those are the core four, so to speak, but The Office was home to a whole stable of great characters and actors who played them. Andy, the songbird with daddy issues and maligned (by character and critic alike) regional manager; grumpy, crossword master Stanley; know-it-all-Oscar; mysterious weirdo Creed; matronly-with-a-wild-streak Phyllis; severe cat-lover Angela; the narcissistic totally-wrong-yet-totally-right-for-each-other duo of Ryan and Kelly; ~~high~~ functioning alcoholic and rabies survivor Meredith; little orphan Erin; warehouse to penthouse Darryl; lovable doofus and Cup o’ Noodle connoisseur Kevin; put upon sad sack Toby; Roy, Nellie, Plop, Todd Packer, David Wallace, Jan Levinson (I presume), Charles Miner, Katie the purse girl….I could go on and on.

The reason we notice the sometimes precipitous declines of great athletes and TV shows is that they were great enough to hang around a long time in the first place and had reached the highest highs from which to fall. In the declining years we always say we wish they had called it quits earlier so we could have remembered them when they were at their best. But the truth is once they do finally hang it up and just a little bit of time has passed, the great moments far outweigh the bad. And maybe it was worth watching the deteriorating skills to catch those last few moments of greatness.

The Office finale was one such moment. Series finale’s are a tricky animal. Expectations are so high, especially for a show so beloved and hailed as The Office has been during it’s run (recent seasons not withstanding), they are almost impossible to live up to. The Office finale isn’t perfect, but it comes pretty darn close.

(If you haven’t watched it yet and you care, tread lightly beyond this point. Thar be spoilers ahead!)

The finale takes place about a year after the previous episode, which saw Dwight finally reach the career and personal pinnacles he always dreamed of: Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton and engaged to Angela. Many of the Scrantonites have moved on to other things; Kevin and Toby were fired; Stanley retired; Andy became a renown laughing stock thanks to a viral video of his mental breakdown at a singing contest audition; Nellie moved to Poland; Darryl is doing well working for Athlead (now called Athleap); Creed is on the lam from the authorities. The PBS documentary about Dunder Mifflin aired during the previous episode, and the doc crew is back in town to get the gang back together for a panel discussion. Dwight and Angela’s wedding is the next day.

So there’s the setup.

What we get is a great last ride, that hit all the right notes. It may have hit a few extra we could have done without, but all the ones you’d want and expect were there. It was funny, it was sweet, it was poignant, it was emotional, but most of all it felt like The Office.

First the few things I wasn’t too keen on.

The reuniting of Erin with her birth parents. The orphan Erin storyline has always been sort of a D storyline in the show, so I thought this sudden resolution of it was a reach and a bit of a manipulative trick to squeeze out some easy tears. Sure, Erin’s parents could have seen her on the documentary, I guess, and made the journey to Scranton to reveal themselves to her, but who would actually do that in a public forum like that? I know, I know, it’s a TV show and they’re giving everyone their happy ending, but still, it seemed forced to me. That said, while I may not have loved the idea, the execution was great. Joan Cusack was really good as Erin’s mom and the rest of the cast’s reaction once they realized what was happening before Erin did was very authentic. So, bad idea, good execution.
Andy, Andy, Andy. Poor Andy. He’s been bashed enough I suppose. But let’s get one last lick in. Thanks to the Internet, Andy has finally achieved world wide fame. Just, not the kind he wanted. Now known the globe over as Baby Wawa thanks to his waterworks displayed at the singing contest audition, Andy managed to parlay that into a job at Cornell. Huh? The seniors invited him to speak at commencement week as a joke, but he shocked everyone when he actually delivered a moving address and was able to poke fun at himself. Mmmmm-kay. I know, TV show, happy ending, blah, blah, blah. I guess this Andy is just such a far cry from the Andy we first met in Season 3, everything he does sorta bothers me. He used to be a pretty good character, but that ship sailed long before he did for the Bahamas. Which, not coincidentally, was when this season’s better episodes aired (other than the last two).
You wouldn’t think a baby abandonment storyline would make it’s way into a sit-com series finale, but it managed to here. While it is completely in line with the characters, self-centered Ryan and Kellie, for them to abandon Ryan’s baby at Dwight and Angela’s wedding reception in a fit of lusty passion, it’s a pretty bold move. The baby did end up in the hands of Nellie, who wants to adopt it, but the whole incident was just odd.

But these are minor gripes. Overall, I thought the episode was great.

The Office was at its best when it blended biting comedy with heart, and while the finale had more heart then bite, it was just about the perfect balance given the circumstances. Here are some of the highlights, in my, oh so humble opinion:

I thought the writers did a nice job of giving Pam a forum to explain her reservations about moving to Philly. Yes, Jim jumped in with two-feet without cluing her in on his move to Athlead, but Pam sorta came off like a dream crusher for parts of the season. So, giving her the chance to give her reasons at the PBS Q & A was a nice touch.
Along with that, and going back to the episode before, I’m glad they never revealed what was in the card Jim took out of the Christmas box back in Season 2. It never could have lived up to expectations and was better left unsaid.
Sticking with Pam, giving her the last line of the series was the perfect coda. The Office was as much about Pam’s journey as anybody’s, so I was glad she got the last word.
And still sticking with Pam, and Jim, I thought they resolved the will-they-won’t-they-move arc very well. Even though after the previous episode Jim seemed more than happy to leave Athlead and stay in Scranton and the finale takes place a year later and he still seems content, if they had actually stayed I don’t know I would’ve assumed the Halpert’s would always have a happy ending. I mean, honestly what reason do they have to stay in Scranton? So, I thought they resolved it in a convincing way and now I know Jim and Pam will live happily ever after.
Dwight’s bachelor party was pretty great. And anytime we get more Mose it’s a good thing.
Everything about Michael’s appearance was perfect. From his first line (“That’s what she said,” as if it could have been anything else), to learning of his many children, and his only other line about his kids growing up and marrying each other, it was just the right amount of Michael. He already had his farewell, and it wouldn’t have been fair to overshadow the rest of the casts’ goodbye, but it also wouldn’t have felt right if he wasn’t there for Dwight’s wedding.
There were a lot of great call-backs. Dwight rehiring Devon who Michael fired in Season 2; Carol as the real estate agent handling the sale of Jim and Pam’s house; the same stripper for Dwight’s bachelor party as for Bob Vance’s in Season 4; Creed saying he still has his yogurt lid medal from the office Olympics. I’m always a sucker for that kind of stuff in TV shows and movie series. It makes the made up worlds seem real when the same secondary and tertiary characters reappear.
In true Office fashion, just when things looked like they were going to cross the line into sappy, a great joke would come to the rescue. Like when Kevin told Oscar he thought he was gay because he was crying, or Dwight speaking fondly of his co-workers, then correcting himself; his underlings.
What made The Office finale unique, was the documentary conceit made it possible for the characters to reflect on their years together in a way that seemed realistic and not a trite TV trope. Like in many a series finale, the characters waxed eloquent about the time they spent together and the changes in each other and themselves. But since they were speaking to a documentary crew, it was more believable then if two characters were just talking to each other about all the great times they had over these past nine years. Because who really does that? Jim, Pam, Dwight, Phyllis and the rest really could look back at the footage and see themselves change over the years, just like the fans could. To me it really captured, or recaptured maybe, that feeling The Office had in those early seasons that made these people seem real.

It’s pretty silly to get so attached to a TV show, but a good one makes you care about the characters, or at least makes you care what happens to them. There isn’t a group of TV characters I’ve cared more about then those from The Office. Despite some of their more outrageous antics, they seemed like real people working in a real office. And despite those outrageous moments—which were often hilarious—it was the subtle glances, awkward pauses, and raised eyebrows that really made it all so great. I’ll miss it.

Year in Reviews 2012: Movie Edition - Part 4

2013-03-06T14:20:00.000-08:00

Blogger's Note: Check out part 1, 2, and 3 if you missed them. You won't be disappointed. Well, you could be I guess. But it's worth the risk.

As always, these are in no particular order.

Moonrise Kingdom (2012 - Wes Anderson) - If you've ever seen a Wes Anderson movie, you know you can spot a Wes Anderson movie a mile away. He was in the hipster vanguard, dating back to 1998's Rushmore, which I love, and possibly to 1996's Bottle Rocket, which I've never seen love. Every aesthetic aspect of Anderson's movies smacks of the Ironic 60's; from the mod costumes, to the British Invasion soundtracks, part homage and part parody. His movies are weird and whimsical, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. Moonrise Kingdom definitely works. It's a story of young, forbidden love, 12 year old Khaki Scout Sam Shakusky falling in love with the slightly older Suzy Bishop. The two run off together to the chagrin of Sam's foster parents, Suzy's attorney parents (played by Bill Murray and Frances McDormand), the Khaki Scout Master (played by Edward Norton), the local cop (played by Bruce Willis), and basically everyone else who inhabits the beautiful New England island of New Penzance.

The grown up cast also features Tilda Swinton, Harvey Keitel, and Jason Schwarztman. All are great, as one would expect, but the kids are really what make the movie. Jared Gillman as Sam and Kara Hayward as Suzy are the perfect pair to capture the innocence of a young and earnest love that doesn't really know any better. More than any other of Anderson's movie, this one shows actual heart, rather than an ironic twist on what true sentiment might actually look like. Not to say Moonrise is sentimental, because it's not, but it's Anderson's most honest movie yet and highly enjoyable.

Lawrence of Arabia (1962 - David Lean) - For my full take on 5 Things That Make Lawrence of Arabia the Consummate Epic click here. I guarantee it's the only take on David Lean's classic that drops a quote from The Wire.

Fargo (1996 - Joel Coen) - I am a huge fan of the Coen brothers, and their classic crime story is without a doubt their masterpiece. Not necessarily my favorite, but it's pretty great. William H. Macy is a portrait of frustrated ineptitude as Jerry Lundegaard, a hapless car salesman who plots his wife's kidnap and ransom to extort money, and respect, from his wealthy father-in-law. Unfortunately for Jerry, the criminal "professionals" he hires are only slightly less inept than he is and things go south in a hurry. Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare are the mismatched kidnapper duo; one neurotic and one a sociopath. Frances McDormand is terrific as Marge Gunderson, the unassuming, sharp, and very pregnant, small town cop who is investigating the case. Dark, funny, and full of awesome Midwest accents and cadence, it also sets the pace in movie uses for wood chippers.

The Cooler (2003 - Wayne Kramer) - Another great performance from William H. Macy, this time as Bernie Lootz, a hard luck gambler employed by one of the last old school, pre-corporate casinos in Las Vegas as a cooler. When a player gets hot at the black jack table or roulette wheel, they send in Bernie, a walking whatever-the-opposite-of-a-rabbits-foot-is and suddenly lady luck waves bye bye. But when Bernie falls for waitress Natalie, played by Maria Bello, his luck, begins to change. And that's bad for business. Alec Baldwin stars as Shelly Kaplow, the hard core casino boss trying to hold on to the joint before the corporations take him over too. He is none too pleased with Bernie's sudden stroke of good fortune. He's old Vegas to the core, preferring to solve his problems with a ballpean hammer when possible. A pretty good show about luck, destiny, and choices. However, I saw Macy's butt on multiple occasions so that may have soured it for me a little.

Winnebago Man (2009 - Ben Steinbauer) - I wrote a full blown review of Winnebago Man a while back. It's one of the most entertaining and thoughtful documentaries I've seen in a while. Predictably funny, surprisingly poignant, and full of swearing.

Zero Dark Thirty

2013-02-24T21:15:00.001-08:00

A few minutes after I left the theater I became aware my jaw was sore. At first I didn't know why, then I realized I had been clenching my teeth for nearly the duration of the movie, Zero Dark Thirty, director Kathryn Bigelow's taut and riveting account of the hunt for Osama bin Laden. The amazing part of my jaw soreness, is that while there is action to be had, in particular the assault on bin Laden's compound, most of the movie takes place in drab CIA offices or dingy CIA prison cells, or "Black Sites."

Zero Dark Thirty, unsurprisingly I suppose, has generated quite a bit of controversy over the scenes that take place in those far off secret prisons. Namely, torture generally; waterboarding specifically. The movie does not shy away from showing the "enhanced interrogation techniques" in action. As anyone who has even accidentally watched the news in the last 10 years should know, the debate over the use of these methods has been spirited to say the least. The movies portrayal of CIA operatives using torture to extract intelligence that eventually lead to discovering bin Laden's hideout is disputed by such disparate senatorial luminaries as John McCane and Diane Feinstein. The official US government line is that waterboarding and it's equally unpleasant cousins were not used in the search for bin Laden...or at least did not result in useful intel. However, Bigelow and screenwriter Mark Boal have stuck to their guns and insist that they based their screenplay on actual first person accounts of the events. So, who knows I guess. Regardless of where you stand on the issue, to say the torture scenes are uncomfortable is putting it mildly.

But, fortunately, there is much more to the movie than just that. Jessica Chastain is a young CIA operative named Maya who we meet in 2003 when she arrives in Pakistan. She is part of the group responsible for following leads on the whereabouts of bin Laden. She seems in over her head at first, even frail, but quickly shows a steely will behind her delicate, porcelain facade. She believes if they can find bin Laden's courier, he will eventually lead them to the Osama. The process is agonizingly tedious; as leads dry up or hit dead ends the years drag on and for Maya's bosses, finding bin Laden becomes more and more of a secondary, or even lower, priority. But Maya doggedly, and irritatingly to her superiors, refuses to give up.

In the same way Lincoln--a movie whose only other similarity is that it chronicles an important chapter of American History--excels at making a bunch of conversations about government a fascinating thing to watch, so does Zero Dark Thirty with conversations about intelligence. I'll grant that not everyone is going to enjoy that; it can be very technical and jargony. Some may find themselves scratching their heads at terms like "op sec" and "tradecraft." But the pace is hardly plodding, and we zip through the years of the hunt at a breakneck pace. As I alluded to at the beginning, this will be considered an action movie by some, but there is not as much shoot 'em up action as you might expect. Despite that, the movie never relaxes and I was always anticipating something happening...in a good way. Whether it was a suicide bombing, a shootout, or a new nugget of intel coming in. Who knew a conference room could be so intense?

This is due in no small part to the great perfromances from the supporting cast. Chastain is really the only main character and is terrific, but the others are very good as well. Kyle Chandler, Jennifer Ehle, and Jason Clark all turn in excellent performances as fellow CIA staffers.

When the real action finally does begin, it's fantastic. Of course, this is the raid on bin Laden's hideaway. It's an incredible set piece, with Navy SEALs slicing through the shadows with surgical precision. A lot of it is shown from their POV through night vision goggles and there is no soundtrack other than the scuffle of boots on the ground, pinpoint machine gunfire, and their communications. It's gripping despite the known outcome.

It's not a perfect movie, and one does wonder about how factual it actually is, essentially making the case that a single CIA operative was the driving force in pushing the hunt for bin Laden forward for over a decade. But it is a movie after all, not an historical record, and it's strengths more then outweigh it's weaknesses.

Die Hard

2013-02-13T21:44:00.001-08:00

Mostly for reasons explained elsewhere I missed out on a lot of the 80's and early 90's era action movies. I have since made up for lost time, checking many if the "classics" off my list: Terminator 1 & 2, Rambo, Predator, Commando, Big Trouble in Little China, Lethal Weapon, etc. (To this day I've still never seen a Jean Claude van Damme movie, but somehow I don't think I'm missing much there.). Their was a gap in my catalog, though, a gaping one. I had never seen a Die Hard movie. This wasn't intentional, it was just one of those things. Recently, I finally had my chance,or so I thought.

I few months ago I DVR'd Die Hard off of HBO, along with several hours of other movies my wife had no interest in watching. In an effort to free up some space for some TV shows based on fairy tails or something, my wife decided to erase some of my movies. Being the considerate woman that she is, even when erasing my unwatched movies, she made an effort to erase the most likely to have already been seen. When I returned home one night to find Die Hard missing I was incredulous.

"Why did you erase Die Hard?!"
"I needed the space and it was the oldest one. What's the big deal, you've seen Die Hard before."
"No I haven't!"
"Really?"
"No."
"Really??"

When even your wife is shocked to learn you've never seen Die Hard--and she has!--it's time to take matters into your hands to rightfully reclaim your man card. Once word got out to a few of my buddies, it became our collective mission to get me to the Greek, so to speak. And no, I haven't seen that movie either, fortunately.

So, on Monday three of my buddies, (all Critical Errors contributors) Peter, Rhett, and Josh came over to join me on my maiden viewing. If only I had known what I was missing!

Die Hard may be the best action movie in the long and storied history action movies. I type that without an iota of irony in my meaning. It is seriously great.

Being most likely the last man standing not to have seen it, I'll skip an indepth rehash of the plot. To put it into a couple of sentences, Bruce Willis stars as NYPD cop John McClane who is in LA to try to patch things up with his estranged wife, a big wig at a multi-national corporation. While visiting her at her company Christmas party in a high-rise office building, terrorists lead by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) take over the building; action-comedy thrill ride ensues.

That's one of the things that makes it work. The plot is simple, not surprising for an action movie, but also reasonably plausible. No, in real life McClane is unlikely to survive the ordeal and no one's finger tips are that strong, but director John McTiernan does a great job of pushing the action envelope of plausibility to the very limits without somehow ripping it clean open. Make no mistake, he comes very close to shredding the envelope into a thousand tiny pieces, but doesn't quite get there. Not only is the action plausible, but holds up remarkably well for a 25 year old movie. Yes, you read that right. Die Hard is 25 years old! But other than the costumes, cars, and maybe a couple other minor details, Die Hard may as well have been made last month. No small feat when you consider the high-tech special effects we all take for granted these days.

Another strength are the two leads, Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman. The screenplay blesses both with some really great things to say, and they both say them with appropriate zeal. Willis as the wry, streetwise cop cracking wise and Rickman as a smart smooth talking German with a dry wit of a Brit. Any action movie worth it's weight in C4 explosive needs a few memorable one-liners and it's like Willis and Rickman were in a contest of who could deliver the most and the best one. Tough call, but Rickman's dead pan, "I read about them in Time magazine," might be my favorite line in the movie. It's probably a better line in context. Are there some cheeseball lines in there? Heck yes! But, again...action movie.

There is one glaring weakness, however, and it nearly kills the momentum about halfway through. After LAPD beat sergeant Al Powell, played by who children of the '90's will recognize as Carl Winslow from Family Matters Reginald VelJohnson, is tipped off by McClane that terrorist have taken hostages (by dropping a dead terrorist onto the hood of his squad car--brilliant), Powell calls in the cavalry, the rest of LAPD. While VelJohnson is fine as the lifeline to McClane over the radio, the weakness is Paul Gleason as Deputy Chief of Police Dwayne T. Robinson. It's not Gleason's fault really. Robinson is written like the biggest twit in law enforcement. He's a boorish idiot and it really doesn't serve the plot in any meaningful way for him to be so. It comes off as lazy to have the suit-wearing-desk-jockey-cop-in-charge be an utter moron, but fortunately after his initial appearance he only shows up in small doses for the rest of the movie. The movie has so much going for it that he doesn't ruin everything, but it definitely went off the rails for a bit.

Fortunately, it finishes strong.

Bottom line, I had a blast--pun intended--watching it with my buddies and is one of the most enjoyable action movies I've ever seen. The experience was definitely enhanced by watching it with a bunch of guys cracking one-liners of their own and remembering the big moments and telling me,"Dude, this next part is awesome!" But it's not crazy to say it's the best ever, in 1988 or 2018. Yippe kay yay....well, you know the rest.

TV Extravaganza: 30 Rock, The Americans, Parenthood

2013-02-01T00:42:00.002-08:00

Well, my last post went over like a lead balloon. Apparently not a lot of 1980's game show enthusiasts trolling my corner of the web or among my loyal fans. Oh well, I enjoyed the walk down whammy lane.

Moving on.

Let's talk TV. Three things:

1. Yesterday was the series finale of 30 Rock. To which I can only say, blerg. My wife and I have been fans of Tina Fey's brainchild since the beginning, thanks to Jenna Fischer--no, really (thank you MySpace)--and it has been one fun ride. No show could match 30 Rock's jokes-per-minute pace, save for maybe Arrested Developement but the cats at TGS are the champs by volume (thanks to AD's tragically short run). There have been so many great gags and throw-away lines over it's seven seasons that it's immently rewatchable. I love watching old episodes and culling out new one-liners for every occasions. I'd love to have the comedic mind-grapes of Tina Fey and her slew of writers.

Besides the terrific jokes, what made 30 Rock unique was there was never any of that cliche' staple of the sitcom of the two leads of opposite sex ever hooking up. Fey's frazzeled and trying-to-have-it-all Liz Lemon and Alec Baldwin's Vice President of East Coast Televison and Microwave Progarmming Jack Donaghy were close plutonically, rare in TV shows, and well, life, I guess. But as weird and unlikely buddies, Fey, the liberal "artist" with a degree in Theater Tech and an unhealthy relationship with ham, and Baldwin, as the conservative corporate raider with mommy issues and a perfect head suit, had more on screen chemistry than most TV "couples."

Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy are two of the greatest television characters ever. There supporing cast was pretty great too. Tracy Morgan's Tracy Jordan is the hilarious amalgem of every crazy celebrity to grace the headlines of TMZ, and Morgan is alarmingly natural in the role. Jenna Maroney, played by Jane Krakowski, is equally insane, never growing out of the paranoid insecurity of a second-rate child star from Florida. Results were mixed with Jenna, but still solid comedic chops from Krakowski. The ancillary characters were great too: applefaced goon and possibly immortal Kenneth the page, balding submits-to-dominant-exercise-dummies Pete, Twofer, Frank, and even Lutz.

Though comedy was obviously king, 30 Rock had no shortage of heart and was adept at pulling it off without being cloying or precious. The end of the penultimate episode is the perfect example, a heartwarming final moment that is still funny and so 30 Rock.

I will miss Liz and Jack and the rest of the TGS gang.

2. Watched the pilot for the new FX show The Americans. Pretty great. It stars Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys as Elizabeth and Philip Jennings, Soviet spies living as a married American couple in early 1980's Washington, DC. When I first heard about this show I was very excited, as I love Cold War era spy stuff, but I was concerned with the casting of Keri Russell. I haven't seen her in much, I was never a Felicity watcher, but the with few times I'd seen her in something and her cutsie look, I wasn't sure if she had the gravitas to play a ruthless KGB operative. Uh, wrong. She's like Shaft; a bad motha--shut your mouth! Granted, it's only been one episode, but she is ruthless and intense. Rhys is more than solid as well, but as the softer touch of the two. It's a pretty clever plan by the producers, to make the husband the half of the spy couple who seems more enticed by the American way of life.

From the looks of the pilot, the series will feature plenty of action, some intense old school cloak-and-dagger stuff, the mental toll of duty to county and possiblity of the good life as a defector, the moral ambiguity of the espionage game on both sides, not to mention the equally ambiguous nature of a family life built on a lie. The couple has two pre-teen kids who don't know what their parents really are and at times it appears Elizabeth and Philip aren't really sure who or what they are either.

It was a great opening to the series and I'm looking forward to more.

3. The wife and I finally started watching Parenthood the other night. Not the Ron Howard directed movie, but the Ron Howard produced TV show. We had watched the first couple episodes a couple years ago and really enjoyed it, but for some reason never followed up with it. Inspired by a Grantland article encouraging binge watching it, we gave it nother go and ended up mini-binging the first four episodes in one shot.

Couldn't be more different than The Americans, or Breaking Bad or Mad Men or the host of other acclaimed TV dramas of the past several years. And I think that's why I like it. While I do love many of those shows, they're all pretty dark and heavy, so it's nice to have a drama that is a little more lighthearted and a lot more relatable. Not that Parenthood is all giggles and smiles, like any real family the Braverman's have real family problems, and the show has gotten a repuation as an eye-wetter, but tonally it is much different from any of those other shows. Sometimes something good happens! And very few people die or get their feet run over by riding lawnmowers.

The performances feel authentic. Peter Krause, Monica Potter, Craig T. Nelson, Dax Shepherd, Lauren Graham, and the rest of the cast are all great. They seem like they might actually be a real family.

It's a family drama that rings true as it warms the heart and wets the eyes. Looking forward to binge watching some more soon.

5 Things That Make Press Your Luck the Best 1980's Game Show

2013-01-25T15:11:00.000-08:00

Taking a little break from our Year in Reviews 2012: Movies Edition series to pay homage to that staple of 1980's day time TV: the game show. Specifically, one of my personal favorites, the ridiculous and whammirific Press Your Luck! The Price is Right is the indisputable king of daytime TV game shows--synergistic fact, Rod Roddy was the announcer for both The Price is Right and Press Your Luck--a title I certainly will not contradict here. But thanks to the magic of reruns and the geniuses of programming at the Game Show Network (GSN), here are five things that make Press Your Luck the best 1980's game show.

1. 1980's Contestants

I loved Press Your Luck as a kid during it's three year run from 1983 to 1986. But it is immeasurably more entertaining looking back through our retro spyglass. I was but a small child in the '80's so my perspective is a bit hazy, so a question to all you older folks: was everyone just ugly and/or awkward looking during the Reagan years? It's not just the bad haircuts, earth tone blazers, novelty sized eyeglasses, bushy mustaches, or in some cases all of the above. You don't have to look too hard at your nearest hipster hangout to see a lot of "fashion" of the era has come back, and with a vengeance. So it's not just the style, but the people themselves. Everyone either appears to be a giant dork or a hayseed. This was long before the reality TV era, where everyone and their uncle's cat thinks they can and should be on TV. You can see a noticeable difference in the sensibilities of the eras. I'm sure the producers told the contestants to act excited and whatnot, and you can see that their trying so hard. But John and Jane Q 1980's were, generally, just not ready for the spotlight. On a recently viewed episode, one of the female contestants, Bea, was so nervous on camera she could barely even speak! Sort of an important aspect of game show contestanting. Can you imagine such a thing on today's game shows, like Minute to Win It or Who Wants to be a Millionaire? It's the exact opposite. With the exceptions of Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, and the Price is Right--all hold overs from the golden age of game shows mind you--contestants on today's shows never shut up. Before each question or challenge we're subjected to some inane reasoning for their answer or an obnoxious soliloquy about how when they're grandmother used to bake apple cobbler she always made sure to grease the pan with genuine hog lard and that memory gave the contestant the insight needed to complete the challenge in record time. Or something equally stupid. Yes, even Press Your Luck had it's share of blowhards, but they were much fewer and further between. So, awkward and ill-dressed as they are, give me the unassuming not ready for prime time game show contestant of the '80's any day over today's fame seeking blabbermouth.

2. Terrible Prizes

If you're not familiar with Press Your Luck here's how it worked. It featured three contestants who would buzz in to answer a series of trivia questions to win "spins." Their were two rounds of questions, and after each round contestants would get a chance to use their spins on the "Big Board." The Big Board features many squares displaying dollar values or fabulous prizes. And of course, the whammies (more on those later). A lighted border would flash around the various squares and when a player would hit their buzzer and yell "STOP!" one square would remain lit, netting the contestant either a whammy, cash, or fabulous prize. Except many of the prizes were far from fabulous.

Examples:

A water conditioner - Huh. A really nice, practical prize, I'm sure. But maybe the most unexciting prize ever. Wouldn't you have to live somewhere with the most mineral enriched water ever to truly appreciate a game show water conditioner? As in, your faucet is basically dispensing rocks?
A graphic - To this day I'm still not sure what this is. The prize tile simply read "Graphic" and had a poor representation of American Gothic displayed on it. I'm guessing it's art of some kind? Why wouldn't you just say that? Art. Doesn't that sound better than Graphic? Am I getting a decal to stick on the side of my car? Or a single graphic on a floppy disc to display on my Tandy? This still boggles my mind--way more than it should.
A Jog 'n Tramp - Um, we actually had one of these. Pretty fun as a little kid. Pretty awful as a game show prize.
A silver service - Great, something to collect dust in my china cabinet. Has anyone ever actually used one of these sets to serve tea?
A trip to Concord, CA - So........I.......wha......I just.........huh. Concord.
Silver gifts - What's with all the silver stuff? Who's picking the prizes, Paul Revere? And what exactly are silver gifts? Is this a sneaky way of unloading the leftover silver services from the warehouse? Is it a pocket watch, a paperweight, just a solid bar of silver? These are questions that need answers.
Catamaran - This is my personal favorite. It's the epitome of impractical game show prizes. Sure, it might be fun on the open water, the wind in your face and sea mist in your hair. Too bad it's going to spend the next decade taking up room in your garage or costing you money at a self storage facility.

3. Horrible production values

Compared to the high-tech, slick TV programming we have today, a lot of vintage TV looks pretty creaky. Bad sound, fuzzy pictures, cheesy graphics and special effects are not the fault of the era. They were doing the best they could with what they had. But even amongst its contemporaries, Press Your Luck was pretty bad. On more than one occasion I've seen cue card holders and stage hands clearly in the frame. It's not like this was a live broadcast. Couldn't they have re-shot those sequences. Other times I've noticed people just sort of milling around behind the set, their silhouettes clearly visible behind the host. When the contestants would hit their buzzers to answer the trivia questions, it sounds like you or way slapping our dining room table. Presumably, the buzzers were not active until the host finished reading the question and only then would they actually buzz when struck. But contestants were always trying to buzz in early, so there was always cacophony of table slapping to accompany the questions. It just really hurt the overall professionalism of the show. No, really. Also, sometimes the tiles on the Big Board wouldn't light up and you'd just have empty spaces. Or pieces of the set literally falling apart on camera. I guess that's what separates the greats from the rest. Can you ever remember Plinko on the Price is Right not working correctly, or some stage hand loitering just behind Alex Trebek? I didn't think so.

4 Host Peter Tomarken

Do people aspire to be game show hosts, I wonder? Well, if Peter Tomarken ever did he certainly found his calling. The perfect blend of smarm and charm, he was actually kinda funny and appeared to have a good time ribbing the contestants. Always with a smile that seemed genuine, he signed on with, "Welcome to Press Your Luck, the game where you can win a bundle or lose your shirt," and always signed off with a goofy little poem about whammies. They were always terrible. At one point they were sent in from viewers at home (allegedly). Who would actually take the time and then spend the stamp to sent it in. But as game show hosts go, he was pretty good. Not as dignified as Trebek or Barker, not as creepy as Richard Dawson or Wink Martindale after too many plastic surgeries, it's a shame he never did much of note after Press Your Luck.

5. The Whammies

As mentioned earlier. other cash and prizes, whammies also resided on the Big Board. If you hit a whammy, a devilish looking little cartoon creature that bore a resemblance to the Tasmanian Devil wearing a cape, you lost all your money and prizes. Get four whammies in a game and your disqualified. As a kid I loved the whammies. When a player got one a little cartoon whammy would appear next to the players money total, manically laughing and erasing their winnings with a lawnmower, WWI era fighter plane, or by moonwalking across them (this was the 80's after all), or other such silliness. It's a ridiculous gimmick that fans of the show love and haters hate. Because that's what they do; haters gonna hate.

Bonus Reason:

In 1984 was embroiled in something of a scandal when contestant Michael Larson won over $110,000 utilizing 47 spins in one game, both a record by far. The game actually had to be split between two episodes. Believing Larson must have cheated, CBS initially refused to give him his winnings. However, they could never prove it. Larson had learned the pattern of the flashing lights and timed his buzzes accordingly. His run is available on YouTube and is pretty fun to watch. You can almost hear the producers' brains exploding. Tragically, Larson lost all his money in bad business deals and died in 1999 of throat cancer. He was only 50 when he died, though he looks like he was pushing 65 at the time of his winnings in 1984. People just looked older back in the olden days I guess.

Here's Larson's record-breaking run:

Year in Reviews 2012: Movie Edition - Part 3

2013-01-12T21:40:00.002-08:00

Blogger's Note: Be sure to check out parts One and Two, if you missed them. You know you want to.

In our last installment we recapped Tree of Life, The Old Man and the Sea, Gone with the Wind, The Dust Bowl, and Red Tails. What wonders will this edition bestow!

Midnight In Paris (2011 - Woody Allen) - Other than this one, I think I've only seen two other Woody Allen movies from start to finish, the mildly amusing Small Time Crooks, which I don't remember that much about except that I found it mildly amusing. The other is Bananas, which I remember was actually pretty funny (that's about three steps ahead of mildly amusing). I enjoyed Midnight in Paris. Owen Wilson stars as a hacky screenwriter looking for inspiration to write a novel while in Paris with his neurotic fiance and her kooky rich parents. On a late night walk he stumbles into an alternate universe where he is in 1920's Paris, rubbing elbows with F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemmingway, Salvador Dali, and a few other notable artists and authors of the era. It's a lighthearted fantastic sort of movie, with good performances from Wilson, Rachel McAdams, and especially Michael Sheen as an uber-pretentious self-proclaimed expert on all things Paris. The famous figures of the past are perfectly funny caricatures, particularly the manly man Ernest Hemmingway. Dos Equis guy has nothing on him. The dialog is clever and it probably helps that Woody is not actually saying the lines he's written.

Three Kings (1999 - David O. Russell) - A pretty underrated movie and one of Clooney's first meaty movie roles--ie not a cheesy action flick, rom-com, or franchise crushing comicbook movie. Clooney plays an Army major during the closing days Desert Storm with doubts about the war. He catches wind of a map a trio of non-coms find in an Iraqi soldier's hindparts that supposedly leads to a cache of Kuwaiti gold stolen by the Iraqis. Seeking to get something out of his days in the desert, Clooney and his booty map (double-meaning!) finding cohorts, ably played by Mark Walberg, Ice Cube, and Spike Jonze, take off to find the gold and end up in a series of sticky ceasefire situations involving the Iraqi Republican Guard, anti-Saddam partisans, and an exploding cow. Among other things. Director David O. Russell, who is getting love recently for his Oscar nominated Silver Linings Playbook, co-wrote the script which is both funny and thought provoking, which really all war movies should be. Very solid flick. I hadn't seen it for a long time and had forgotten how much I liked it.

How to Train Your Dragon (2010 - Dave Dubois and Chris Sanders) - I watched about half of Steven Spielberg's War Horse today, which is a similar type of story as How to Train Your Dragon, and I found the latter to be exceedingly more entertaining. Granted they aren't exactly the same kind of movie, slapstick gags and one-liners may have been a little out of place in the WWI horse tale, but they're both "boy and his dog/horse/dragon" stories, where the lead character forms a bond with a creature and some sort of serration or crisis gets between them and the boy vows to never forget/desert the creature. I won't be too hard on War Horse since I haven't seen it all the way through, but just as I wouldn't expect it to play for laughs, I would expecte it to go for the heart strings. From what I've seen thus far Dragon tops Horse even in that respect, on top of being funny and exciting. Rango was my favorite animated film I saw last year, but Dragon wasn't too far behind and had the added advantage of being something I could watch with my four year old daughter.

Rango (2011 - Gore Verbinski) - And speaking of the animated noir with a chamaleon in the lead role, here is my full-blow review of Rango from a few months back. I really liked it.

From Here to Eternity (1953 - Fred Zinnermann) - Probably one of the most famous images from classic movies, Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr sucking face on the beach as the tides washes over them, comes from this movie. Starring Lancaster, Kerr, Frank Sinatra, Donna Reed, Montgomery Clift, and Ernest Borgnine, the melodrama based on the racy novel of the same name, tracks the lives of the characters in and around an Army base at Pearl Harbor in the days before December 7th, 1941. Honor, duty, infidelity, intimidation, love, scandal, friendship; it's all there. Good performances all around, particularly Ernest Borgnine as scuzzy Sgt. Fatso Judson. Legend has it Sinatra secured his role with a little help from his Mafia friends, providing the inspiration for the Johnny Fontane character in The Godfather. No word on how many horses lost their heads to make it happen.

Stay tuned for Part 4.

Year in Reviews 2012: Movie Edition - Part Two

2013-01-05T12:19:00.001-08:00

Blooger's Note: Don't forget to check out Part One if you haven't already.

Last time we took at quick look at Lincoln, The Shootist, Army of Crime, Four Christmases, and The Ox-Bow Incident. Let's dive into part two. Once again, these are in no particular order.

Tree of Life (2011 - Terrence Malick) - About a month ago I wrote up a full blown review of Tree of Life on my phone, only to have it inexplicably erased for reasons that are still not entirely clear to me. I have no idea what life lessons Malick was trying to convey in Tree of Life, but he is indirectly responsible for teaching me one valuable lesson: don't compose posts on your phone unless you are prepared to save every two minutes. As the movie actually goes, if you've seen a Terrence Malick movie before you know what you're going to get, more or less. If you haven't here's what you're going to get: a non-linear, amorphous "plot", lots of shots of the sun and leaves and hands running through tall grass, and possibly dinosaurs. The movie is "about" the life and times of a 1950's family in Waco, Texas. Growing up and domineering fathers (Brad Pitt), and childhood and loss and Sean Penn wandering around looking like he's got IBS and...dinosaurs. It's not for everybody, but it's worth seeing if for nothing else then its incredible visual beauty. Just don't expect to have any idea of what's going on for at least the first hour. Then the dinosaurs show up.

The Old Man and the Sea (1958 - John Sturges) - A straight forward visual retelling of Ernest Hemmingway's famous novella. Spencer Tracy stars as the Old Man. Not really much else to say about it. Considering the vast majority of the movie is the Old Man sitting alone in a boat thinking to himself, Tracy does a good enough job of keeping you interested, but the movie doesn't really add anything to the story and the book is, of course, much better.

Gone with the Wind (1939 - Victor Fleming) - I had never seen Gone with the Wind before, but as an amateur film buff had always wanted to. However, it's quite a commitment at 238 minutes. I could watch a few other movies I'd also like to see in that same time frame. But, when you're laid up on the couch with the flu you've got nothing but time on your hands. Such was the case this past Thanksgiving weekend. Like a lot of classic movies, it's one I'm glad I saw and can certainly appreciate it's achievements, but it's not a movie I see myself watching again for a very long time. It's romantic celebration of the Old South seems juuuuust a touch out of step with today's sensibilities. Slavery is actually mentioned very little, which might seem odd for a movie set in and around the Civil War. And though it isn't really meant to be about slavery, it is about the antebellum South and to sort of whitewash the peculiar institution almost completely out of the picture, some may find of-putting. I didn't, only because it should be viewed as a product of it's time (which is not the same as saying the attitudes of that time are ok just because they were the attitudes of that time, if that makes any sense at all). I imagine a sort of parallel study of slavery as seen through the history of film making with Gone with the Wind and modern films such as, oh I don't know,say, Django Unchained, would be pretty interesting. Again, worth seeing for it's place in movie history, and because it is a good movie, but also because you'll recognize a lot of well known lines that have been repeated, copied, and spoofed that you never knew originated from the mouths of Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler.

The Dust Bowl (2012 - Ken Burns) - As a history buff, I'm a huge Ken Burns fan. His latest offering chronicles the experiences of those who lived in a few small towns in the Oklahoma and Texas panhandles, right in the heart of the dust bowl during the Depression. If you're unfamiliar with what the dust bowl was, see this movie. But in a nutshell, for a good part of the 1930's the Great Plains were struck by an ecological catastrophe, caused both by man and by nature. The combination of drought and over exuberant plowing, left the land barren and windswept. Giant dust storms became the norm, blowing mountainous clouds of dirt into the air and causing "black blizzards." You know in dry, dusty areas when you get those nasty black boogers in your nose? Imagine having that experience for half a decade or so. In typical Ken Burns style, The Dust Bowl comes to life through photographs, interviews with the regular folks who survived it, and letters and correspondence from those who have since passed away. Another edutaining look at American history from Mr. Burns. This Mr. Burns, not this one.

Red Tails (2012 - Anthony Hemmingway) - I gave this plane wreck a full scale review several months ago. It still makes me angry that the Tuskegee Airmen might not ever get the film treatment their story deserves thanks to this debacle. Sigh.

***TRAILER REDACTED***

Stay tuned for Part Three.

Year in Reviews 2012: Movie Editon - Part One

2012-12-27T00:39:00.000-08:00

Well apparently my 12 Days of Criticismas was a touch ambitious. Thanks to a pretty bad stretch of The Plague running through my household this month, coupled with a couple of my guest writers not being able to squeeze a post into their own busy schedules, our 12 days ended up being A Week's Worth of Criticismas. Oh well, even Santa drops the ball every once in a while. I mean, you have seen the holiday classic Santa Claus: The Movie haven't you? Dudley Moore was never better. We'll give it another shot next year. I would like to thank Rhett Paro, Josh Carrillo and Peter Brown for their efforts and hopefully they'll be back reviewing bad TV specials, food, and weather phenomena again soon.

Critical Errors isn't the sort of review blog where you're going to get run-downs on all the latest offerings in movies, music, TV, food, products, what have you. Anyone who's surfed through this humble corner of the Internet at all would know that. How many reviews of the Ox-Bow Incident written post-1943 do you think are floating around the Interwebs? My guess is not many, and yet you'll find one on Critical Errors, proudly. However, I don't spend all my time only watching western morality plays from the war years. So, I figured I'd do a look back at--nearly--everything I watched in 2012 and would give either a brief two-cents take or a just a link to the review I already wrote for it just in case you had the mis(?)fortune of missing it the first time around. These are movies I either watched for the first time ever, or first time in a long time, presented in no particular order whatsoever.

Lincoln (2012 - Steven Spielberg) - As popular and successful as he has been for nearly 40 years, Spielberg gets flack from a lot of artsy cinefile types for being too populist and often pulling his punches in service of the happy, or at least happiest possible, ending. Among other things, these folks will concede his talents as a filmmaker capable of entertaining with the best, but lacking the bravery of a true artist. Now, my formal film education may only consist of a single community college course, but to those accusations I say, haters gonna hate. They don't come much braver than Lincoln. To make a movie about the passing of a piece of legislation, even concerning perhaps the most important piece of legislation in our nations history, in this case the 13th Amendment abolishing slavery, and with as compelling a historical figure as there may be, in this case Abraham Lincoln, and have not one minute of its 150 minute running time feel like history class, is a herculean task only a handful of directors could have pulled off. Lincoln is a masterpiece and Daniel Day-Lewis channels Honest Abe himself. Even though I have obviously never seen Lincoln walk or move or heard his voice, somehow DDL manages to perfectly capture what I always imagined he would move and sound like, based on whatever still images I have seen over the years. It's a virtuoso performance to add to DDL's ever growing list of virtuoso performances. The movie is chock full of other recognizable faces, like David Straighairn, Sally Field, Joseph Gordon-Levit and pretty much every character actor ever. Lincoln is a great movie, and to the haters that would say otherwise I have a message for you: shut up.

The Shootist (1976 - Don Siegal) - Great character piece starring John Wayne as a dying gunslinger. Read my full review here.

Army of Crime (L'armee du Crime - 2009 - Robert Guedeguian) - A French movie about the French resistance in Paris during WWII. Based on actual events, while a goodly portion of the French people and French police collaborated with the Nazi's, in many cases without much convincing needed, many of the French resistance groups were actually made up of immigrants; in this case foreign Jews, Spainards, Italians, and Armenians. The army of crime is a rag tag group of resistance fighters with little to no training, harassing and killing Nazi's in the streets of Paris, some questioning the morality of what they're doing, some enjoying it a little too much. A pretty interesting, and at times upsetting and at times uplifting, look at an often overlooked portion of history.

Four Christmases (2008 - Seth Gordon) - Don't think this one will be making the yearly Christmas movie rotation. Simple premise: couple Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon attempt to spend Christmas day with all four of their divorced parents. Hijinx ensue. A scenario that should be ripe for comedy gold. The best this one achieves is bronze...plated. There's a few decent slapstick moments, especially with the pair visiting Vaughn's blue collar dad Robert Duvall and his idiot brothers, redneck Tim McGraw (irony!) and ultimate fighter wannabe Jon Favreau. There's also a pretty amusingly awkward sequence when they visit Vince's mom, Sissy Spacek, who happens to be dating Vince's ex-best friend. Pretty gross, but also kinda funny. The biggest problem is Vince Vaughn though. He just won't shut up! I guess that's what he does, but it gets seriously annoying. A far cry from his days scoping out the babies in LA diners.

And speaking of The Ox-Bow Incident (1943 - William Wellman) - here's my 102 word review of the western morality play starring Henry Fonda.

Stay tuned for Part Two of the Year in Reviews 2012: Movie Edition.

Ugly Holiday Sweater/T-Shirt

2012-12-21T12:51:00.000-08:00

We live in an age of irony and not even something as pure as Christmas can escape it's reach. The once popular, then maligned, and now popular again because it was so maligned seems to apply in just about every aspect of our lives. The hipsters are running wild with their horn-rimmed glasses, fedoras, vintage camera apps that (according to some) "ruin" perfectly good digital photos, and a fear of sincerely actually liking pretty much anything. I have to admit, I am not immune to the rise of this wanna-beatnik culture. I love my camera filters, I often where non-baseball type hate--though in my defense I was doing that before it was cool to be uncool--and I listen to Mumford & Sons on a regular basis.

As I mentioned in my opening line, even Christmas, a time of sincerity and earnestness, is not immune. After it's decline in the late 20th Century, we have in recent years been witness to the return of what was once a Christmas party staple: the ugly holiday sweater. You know the kind I mean. Loud, garish cable-knits with giants snowflakes or Christmas trees or snowmen embroidered on them. Something your grandmother made for you in the late 70's or early 80's and you did your best to hide your extreme disappointment after opening the package Christmas morning. I remember a having a couple of these as a kid and was never a fan. Not only is it not the coolest thing to be seen wearing homemade clothes, even as a seven year old, but they never fit right, made you itch like you've got fleas, and transformed you into an uncomfortable sweaty mess while sitting in a packed church for a Christmas Eve service.

But in recent years the ugly holiday sweater has returned with a vengeance, even spawning their own social gatherings. Its' not uncommon in this hipster age to get an invite to an Ugly Holiday Sweater party, each party goer trying to out ugly their friends. Despite not being a huge wearer of sweaters generally, and for the reasons mentioned, holiday sweaters in particular, the hipster in me could not be suppressed and I told my wife I wanted to get myself a knitted bit of holiday cheer.

However, thanks to the good folks at Woot!, I found an even better option. The ugly holiday sweater t-shirt! All of the ugliness, none of the itch! And what better way to be even more ironic then with an ironic take on an ironic classic. Yay irony!

Woot! has a number of colors and designs to choose from, featuring most of the iconic holiday images from the sweaters of old. I went with a stylish navy blue bearing the faux-stitched likeness of a couple of reindeer and the ubiquitous snowflake emblazoned in the center. Available in both long and short sleeved, I went with the long sleeved, as its more of a winter item and to make it seem more sweater-like.

So if you're inner-hipster is crying out for some holiday fashion that will still be acceptable to all your handlebar mustache wearing cronies down at the coffee shop, but would rather skip the inevitable hives breakout from a woolen fleece, the ugly holiday sweater t-shirt is the choice for you. Check 'em out.

The Holiday Eater's Guide to the Christmas Shmorgasboard

2012-12-19T21:10:00.001-08:00

Blogger's Note: In this installment of our 12 Days of Criticismas, my very good buddy Josh Carrillo will be sharing his tips on stuffing your face for Christmas. Josh, a youth pastor, food enthusiast, and all-around good guy, is especially qualified to share his foody thoughts, as he once had his picture taken with Alton Brown. And I've seen him eat 20 McNuggets, a quarter-pounder, large fries, and a coke all in one sitting, with room left for an apple pie afterward. Of course, that was many years ago and his tastes have matured some. So without further adieu, Josh!

As most of you who are reading this know, the holidays are generally a joyous time of gathering with family, friends, fun, and food to be thankful for what God has done in particularly sending His Son Jesus Christ to live, die, and rise in our place so we would be rescued from all our nastiness. Each one of you has holiday traditions that you look forward to and memories that will last your entire lifetime. If you are anything like me, one of the greatest parts of the holidays is the food. From turkey to Christmas cookies it is a month long expedition of partaking of some tasty goodness.

It is that goodness that we will focus on. It is the goal of this post to help you maximize your holiday eating. With that, here is this holiday eaters guide to a spartaculous Christmas eating extravaganza.

Appetizers: If you really want to wow the crowd with your appetizers, make sure they involve salt, meat, and cheese. Great ideas would be Wavy potato chips with onion dip, salami and cheese platters as well as some froofy cheese and crackers (you know, stuff you find at Oliver's Market, Trader Joe's, or whatever specialty market is in your town). An underrated appetizer would be salsa poured over cream cheese. It sounds weird, but it is delectable!

Drinks: No Christmas party can be complete without some Martinelli's Sparkling Apple Cider and some Egg Nog. I know what most of you are thinking about the holiday nog. You either love it or hate it. I personally enjoy it. It is rich, creamy and full of fatty awesomeness.

Main Dish: I understand that a lot of peeps partake of ham and turkey on Christmas. While I am down with these dishes, to me Turkey is reserved Thanksgiving and Ham for Easter, but that could be the traditionalist in me. If you really want to bring out the big guns, you must go with... wait for it.... PRIME RIB... BOOM! It is this man's opinion that a great prime rib destroys any other cut of steak. It is juicy, succulent, and full of flavor. If you really want to go over the top with it, serve it with some horse radish sauce. You will be the talk of your neighborhood.

Side Dishes: There a bevy of side dishes that you could choose from, but for this guy the greatest compliment to a good prime rib is... potatoes au gratin, creamed spinach, and some homemade mac and cheese with bacon. These side dishes are so booyawesome that you might be tempted to not get seconds on the Prime Rib. In other words, these dishes are the bomb.com.

Dessert: So many options, so little room in your stomach. If you are going for fancy, a nice peach raspberry or apple pie with crumb topping and ice cream on top would be great. If you are going a little more finger foody for your dessert, may I suggest the candy cane JoJos from Trader Joe's (Oreo-esque cookies filled with candy cane cream filling. Need I say more?). In addition, cream puffs and cheesecake bites would be a great compliment here.

One more thing. Make sure after you partake of all this goodness, that you spend part of January detoxing on smoothies filled with fruit and spinach. They will really cleanse you. Also, a little gym time or running never hurts. Just think of it as preparing yourself to be able to eat for the next holiday season. That my friends is your guide to a great holiday eating time!!

The Best of the Worst Christmas Specials: The Star Wars Holiday Special

2012-12-13T20:28:00.000-08:00

Blogger's Note: I am pleased to present our second guest post in our 12 Days of Criticismas. This one comes from my buddy Rhett Paro, a lover of movies, particularly of the 1980's "coming of age" variety. John Huges is his wheelhouse. But today he shares his thoughts on possibly the worst filmed production of all time, in virtually every respect, the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special. Enjoy!

Who doesn’t love to see Jimmy Stewart receive the answer to his existential question “What if I had never been born?” It is so overwhelming no matter how many times it is on TV, all of America gets choked up. Or who can’t relate to little Kevin, though he is such a disease, defending his home and finding his family truly is important? Or who refuses to giggle as Bill Murray is confronted by the three spirits of Christmas? These are only some of the classic Christmas cinema gems (or change the word cinema, but it should be plural) we enjoy. Now set those aside.

This Christmas I want to invite you to enjoy the best of the worst. Call your friends, pop some corn, grab a beverage, and be prepared for the best worst experience of the season. The Star Wars Holiday Special will not disappoint if your desire is to sit in stunned silence, broken only by a friend’s wise crack and laughter. Read on and you will discover why it is the worst...and the best for your holiday viewing.

Why It’s the Worst

This holiday special is so bad it is hard to know where to begin. The premise: Chewbacca must get back to his family to celebrate Life Day (yeah that’s it), and now you know as much about Life Day as when you finish the movie. How can that be? Not sure, but the fact that you have Wookies speaking in their native tongue for a straight 6 to 10 minutes UNTRANSLATED will not aid your comprehension. This happens several times!

That aside, what else is excruciating? The foreshadowing of what Star Wars would become. A great idea which is now a cash cow for someone we thought was cool. Is this really the guy who also gave the world Raiders of the Lost Ark? Do salt and fresh water flow from the same spring? It is clear to me now: Mrs. Lucas was a huge influence on the original Star Wars Trilogy. It makes sense they divorced in 1983…hmmm. The truth is George didn’t change when he wrote episodes 1, 2, and 3 - just the writer did!

Why It’s the Best

This movie has some of the best worst but very quotable lines. Who doesn’t want to hear lines like, “Look here a pocket sized aquarium, you can take it with you anywhere” or “You could say she did it by Hand…Solo. I know you know what I mean…You do know what I mean don’t you?” Classic!

Don't overlook the mockability factor. Everything from the story line to character names (Chewy’s dad is named Itchy) to hilarious late 70’s graphics, it is all good – for mocking! Make sure whoever you invite is very sarcastic and able to apply a thick coat of satire as you view. Other movies might be cliche or tired, but few present such an awesome opportunity for unbridled lampooning.

What truly makes Star Wars Holiday the best, is the time you will spend with family and friends. When else will your mom tell you to lose a few pounds? Or where else can you see your uncle Eddie have a few too many eggnog and brandies?

So get cozy with your friends and family, and though you might be the family screw up just remember, you're not responsible for what you're about to see.

From the Editor: Here's part one of the Holiday Special for your "enjoyment." If you dare, search YouTube for parts two through seven.

ESPN 30 For 30: Broke

2012-12-10T15:22:00.001-08:00

Starting in 2010, it's 30th anniversary, ESPN started producing documentary films based on happenings in the sports world during the sports network's lifetime. They enlisted some very prestigious filmmakers and turned out a pretty impressive batch of films chronicling everything from the short lived life of the USFL, to the origins of fantasy sports, to Muhammad Ali's last fight, to the rise of Colombian soccer as seen through the rise and fall of slain soccer star Andres Escobar and drug kingpin Pablo Escobar. I've seen quite a few of them, and have been impressed every time. The films have been such a success in fact, that ESPN has continued producing them under the 30 For 30 moniker for the last three years.

I caught one of the newer ones this morning called, Broke directed by Billy Corben. We hear stories in the news all the time about professional athletes filing for bankruptcy and think, "How is that possible when you make millions of dollars a year?" Well, Broke breaks it down. It's not all white tigers and diamond studded gold chains--though that's certainly a big part of it.

Put yourself in this scenario for a second: You're 20 years old and come from a poor neighborhood. All your life you've never had anything really nice and just putting food on the table was a struggle for your parents. Well, parents if you're lucky. More likely, parent. Suddenly someone says they are going to pay you $50 million to play football. With no experience of how to handle extra money of any amount, you now have it coming out of your ears. You've never had a bank account, don't know how to write--or cash!--a check, and have no idea how to make a budget, but now, overnight, you've got a multi-million dollar fortune to manage. You want to do right by your mom, so you buy her a nice house and car. Your uncle needs help with that business he's starting, so you throw a few thousand his way. After all, he's family. A few of the old buddies from the neighborhood need just a little something to help them out of a jam, and besides, they'll pay you back when they can. You've known them since grade school, so you figure they're good for it. One of these buddies says he knows a guy that can help you invest your money and would be happy to be your financial adviser. For a small fee of course.

You're on your own now, so you'll need your own place to stay. You lived most of your life in a two room apartment, so you'll want some space. That 10 room mansion should do. You'll need a car...or two, or three, or four. Hey, you're only young once, right? And besides, you've got the money. And since you are young, a few youthful indiscretions are to be expected, like perhaps that diamond encrusted medallion with your jersey number on it and maybe an exotic pet or two. You know what ladies like? Baby animals. Get yourself a tiger cub.

And speaking of ladies... You weren't exactly hurting for dates in high school and college since you were a stud on the football team, but just like everything else in the pros, these girls are on a another level. Tipped off on where you're clubbing that night by sites like Balleralert.com, they show up in short dresses ready to party. Hoping to catch a star by the heartstrings, and if his wallet should come along for the ride, so be it. So, before you know it your entourage which has grown to include 10 of your closest "friends" is now doubled, because all your boys now have a lady friend. You were already paying all of your entourage homies for one thing or another, and that they've got girlfriends, guess what, that doesn't mean they'll want less money.

Uh oh, bad news. You blew out your knee in training camp. Career ending. Well, at least you're set for life with that $50 million contract you signed, right? Oh, well this is the NFL, so your contract isn't guaranteed. You're left with "only" your $4 million signing bonus. But that's still plenty to live off of for a long time. Hold on there, all-star! Once Uncle Sam and your agent takes their cuts, you're down to about $2 million. A quick call to my financial "advisor" to get some advice. After all, that's what you're paying the guy for. What? What's that? Those investments you said were sure things didn't pan out? I'm out how much?? And when can I send your fee?! Well, I've still got my family and friends. I helped them out, now they'll help me out, right? Hmmmm, no one seems to be returning my calls. How'm I supposed to buy food for this tiger cub???

The thing is, this scenario is not all that far-fetched. Very young kids who are just leaving home are ill-equipped to handle the amount of money thrown at them so fast. They make poor decisions, trust the wrong people, are sought out by grifters and swindlers, and don't think about the future. Without a doubt many of these athletes money troubles are due to their extremely poor spending habits, but that is a problem hardly exclusive to professional athletes. A $10,000 credit card bill may as well to $10,000,000 for someone without the resources to ever pay it off. I found myself more sympathetic to the athletes than I expected, partially because the deck is, in many ways, stacked against them. NCAA schools make billions of dollars off of aspiring professional athletes, and offer little to no preparation in terms of financial management. Once the money starts rolling in sycophants of every stripe come out of the woodwork. Family, friends, "advisers," and women, all with a hand out.

Kudos to the athletes who agreed to be interviewed for this documentary. Athletes are a proud bunch, and facing up to a camera to talk about how you mismanaged your millions cannot be an easy thing to do. Props to them for stepping up. Among others the filmmakers interviewed Andre Rison, Cliff Floyd, Leon Searcy, Homer Bush, Bernie Kosar, Curt Schilling, Keith McKants, Jamaal Mashburn, and Reggie Wilkes who is now a successful financial adviser.

In the grand scheme of things, there are bigger problems in the world than financially struggling professional athletes, but it was interesting to see how quickly and easily you can go from goal line to bread line.

Will There Be Snow For Christmas?

2012-12-06T12:20:00.000-08:00

Blogger's Note: Critical Errors is very proud to present our first guest post of our 12 Days of Criticismas. The illustrious Peter Brown of the Internet sensation Kludge Spot blog gives us his review of...snow. The white stuff that falls from the sky. Not this guy. Enjoy!

The Eskimos have over one thousand words for snow. Did you know that? It's not true. I just made that number up. I think it's more like twenty or maybe just nine. Okay, here's the truth; I'm not really positive. You know what? Who cares how many flipping ways an Eskimo can say ‘snow.' The point is, they seem to know a thing or two about the white stuff that falls from the sky and by the end of this, you will too.

This post is brought to you by a coastal California native who has never lived in an area that snowed. I've never shoveled snow off my driveway, been in a snowball fight or ridden a shovel down a snowy embankment in a 1946 Frank Capra film. Still that might be the reason that it interests me so much.

It seems that in films, Irvin Berlin hits, T.V. specials or even Lexus car commercials, you cannot have Christmas without snow. The two just seem to go together.

Hugh Grant Movie:

Awkward boy meets beautiful girl.

They become romantically involved.

They have a misunderstanding regarding pasta and bus schedules.

She vows to never speak to him again.

He proposes on Christmas Eve.

It begins to snow.

She falls in love.

Lifetime Christmas Special:

Solider leaves to war.

Wife holds it together for the kids for months.

One night, siblings begin to fight.

Mom begins to cry.

Young Klye bawls, “I miss my Daddy!”

It begins to snow.

Solider walks up the steps.

Therefore as a youngster I logically concluded that snow had magical properties. What was I suppose to think? I know as a kid in LA, I would ask my mom about it.

“When will it snow?”

“It doesn't snow here.”

“How can I make a snowman like Calvin & Hobbes?”

“You can't.”

“What?! How can I have a snowball fight? Build an igloo, go sledding, have a snow day, go tobogganing, eat a snow-cone, lick an icicle on a dare, catch snowflakes on my tongue, make snow angels or have a snow fort?”

“Sorry, no snow. That's one of the great things about living here.”

“It doesn't feel like Christmas.”

And that was true. LA in December didn't feel like Christmas to a kid. It was sunny with a side of smog. Not exactly the NBC expectation of a winter wonderland being pumped into that little kid brain of mine. Garfield had snow. The Grinch had snow. Frosty was made of snow, and every movie in New York City was covered in snow. Why couldn't we get a little in California?!

Snow is an American symbol of the promise of Christmas. It is a contract for our happiness. To a child, a white Christmas isn't just a pretty imagine on a holiday card, it is a requirement for the fulfillment of dreams. It is Santa's pixie dust and another year without means that surely you just weren't good enough.

Fast forward about ten years. I was 16 and my family finally spent a Christmas with snow. We rented a cabin in Tahoe with our extended family the year my Grandmother passed away. We needed something different to help us get through what had been a hard year.

I still recall pulling up to that snow covered pine lodge in the middle of winter, and being totally amazed. We had a roaring fire, hot mugs of cider and all of our wet snow boots lined up against the wall. There was a thick blanket of snow on the ground, and pine trees with branches draped in all their winter whiteness. I remember thinking, “This is exactly what Christmas should looks like!”

I hated it.

I was cold, walking was a pain as I was always slipping on the ground or losing a boot in the thick pile of wintry carpet. All my clothes were constantly wet. Driving in it was miserable if not downright deadly. You couldn't go anywhere without gloves, and if they came off, then GOOD FREAKING LUCK getting them back on your numb frozen hands! This was nothing like what I expected and I was miserable.

I guess that's the real point. Contrary to the CBS specials, Christmas is not about snow. It's about family, friends and showing off your cool new set of gaudy winter socks. If that traditional gathering means a white Christmas to you and yours, then so be it. But for this Californian, you can keep the cold white stuff to yourself! I think I like it better on the screen, as an idea, than actually present in my life.

5 Things That Make A Christmas Story Timeless

2012-12-04T17:01:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in the last post, my wife and I watch pretty much the same Christmas movies every year. We'll try a new one every once in a while, for instance we watched Four Christmases the other night. Not sure that one will make the yearly rotation, though there were some amusing moments, but I can only take so much Vince Vaughn in any 12 month period. One of our, as well as any other self-respecting Christmas movie aficionado's, favorite is A Christmas Story. Based on Jean Shepherd's awesomely titled novel of his 1940's Indiana childhood In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash, and directed by Bob Clark, A Christmas Story is a nostalgic look back at one boys longing for the perfect Christmas gift. But why am I telling you this? Everybody's seen it, right? Right?!

One of the reasons its such a classic is that we can all identify with Ralphie and his covetous desire for the official Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time. We've all wanted something so badly for Christmas--and not just as kids--that it consumed our entire being, penetrated every ywaking thought and dream, and rendered any alternative no matter how thoughtful and noteworthy, even a homemade pink bunny suit, utterly lacking.

Here are five things that make A Christmas Story so timeless....

1. It's a great period piece

I first saw A Christmas Story in the mid '80's when I was probably eight or nine, and even though the movie was released only three or four years prior to that, for a long time I thought it had actually been made in the time and place it portrays, early 1940's Indiana. A lot of period movies try too hard to look the part and as a result everything ends up looking too polished, too perfect. Well, save for perhaps the "major award," nothing looks polished or perfect in A Christmas Story. On the contrary, you can almost hear the creak in their wooden floors, or smell the "whiff of ozone" when the sparks fly from the Christmas tree lights. The costumes and sets are all perfect because they aren't. They look lived in and used. You get a real feel for the era and what a cold Midwestern Christmas would've looked like and what a malfunctioning coal furnace would've smelled like.

2. The Old Man

Peter Billingsley's Ralphie is the obvious protagonist, but Darrn McGavin as the Old Man really steals the show. Whether he's battling the furnace or the Oldsmobile that would freeze up in the middle of winter on the equator, his tapestry of swearing is delivered with the perfect combination of righteous indignation and old school working man angst. McGavin delivers in all his big scenes, from his pride at winning his indescribably beautiful major award, to his frustrated rage when he learns there is no glue, to his utter joy of watching Ralphie unwrap his BB gun. I can't imagine any other actor playing that role better.

3. The unwrapping

This scene is to me maybe the greatest scene in any Christmas movie ever. Those two and a half minutes capture the essence of the joy in giving and receiving just about perfectly. Ralphie trying to put on a brave face after all the presents are opened and not finding what he wanted. Ralphie unwrapping the gift faster as he realizes what it is. The Old Man's face as he watches the excitement on Ralphie's. Mother's face as she is as surprised as Ralphie. Just a pitch perfect scene. Love it.

4. The kids

Another detail the movie gets right is how the kids talk. Unlike a lot of movies, the conversations Ralphie and his friends have sound a lot like how kids I knew in elementary school talked. Some the vernacular is different, given that I wasn't in elementary school in 1940's Indiana, but the dialogue rings true. Yes, sometimes young kids swear. Yes, they dare each other to do stupid things. Yes, they call each other names and throw each other under the bus when faced with punishment. And yes, they still need their mommies when they've had a rough day at school. Just another thing A Christmas Story gets right.

5. Randy in the bathroom/red cabbage segue.

Ok, so maybe this doesn't belong on the timeless list, but I always found it hilarious. Probably because I'm immature. I couldn't find a clip of it anyway on the web, but next time you watch it look for this. Right after Ralphie decodes the Little Orphan Annie message he leaves the bathroom and his little brother Randy enters. Randy runs to the toilet, lifts the seat, pulls down his pants and starts to sit down. Cut immediately to a big pot of red cabbage boiling on the stove that looks...less than appetizing. That could not have been an accident. Well played Stan Cole. Well played.

Really, I could go on. So many great and memorable scenes. A classic tale of childhood nearly everyone can relate to and a must watch every season.

Why White Christmas is Awesome

2012-12-01T13:51:00.002-08:00

Bloggers Note: Full disclosure, a large portion of this post was featured at an earlier date on Life of Ando. Just doing my part to be green and recycle.

My family and I watch the same slate of Christmas movies every year, and under the threat of actually having to eat figgy pudding, I'd probably say that White Christmas is my favorite. Directed by Michael Curtiz--whose other director credits include Casablanca, Captain Blood, Yankee Doodle Dandy among many others--and with music penned by Irving Berlin, it's really the perfect blend of great music, good story, and 1950's camp.

Starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney, Vera-Ellen, and Dean Jagger, it's the story (in case for some reason you don't know) of a couple of song-and-dance men who join forces after WWII to become a celebrated musical team. They get romantically involved with a pair of singing sisters on the lam for allegedly burning a whole in their dressing room carpet and together the four of them try to save their old General's Vermont inn from closing down. Musical hijinx ensue.

I could go on, but we've all seen it. And if you haven't, then let me ask you why you hate Christmas so much. But, there are a hundred little things that make it so great, many you probably wouldn't notice until you've seen it 20 or 30 times. Which, fortunately for you, I have. So here are a few of the reasons, some obvious some less so, that make White Christmas awesome.

-- Bing’s dulcet tones

-- Bing’s army issue camouflage ascot and front line loafers

-- The background dancers in the Mandy (tragically, this is the only clip available on YouTube; its the dance number only set to a Beck song for some unexplained reason) and Love You Didn’t Do Right By Me numbers; pure comedy.

-- Vera-Ellen’s inhuman waistline. It’s about as big around as a cereal bowl!

-- Why doesn't anyone call out Emma the housekeeper for her meddling that almost cost them the show, not to mention three relationships (Bob & Betty, Phil & Judy, Betty & Judy)?

-- The fact that General Waverly asks not to be called General and everyone continuing to call him that for the rest of the movie.

-- Of course he might have made it more difficult on himself by insisting on talking in military parlance all the time:

To Betty at the train station, “I can’t help but think this is a tactical error.”

To everyone immediately after telling them to keep the general part quiet, “Excuse me everyone, I’m on KP.”

To Emma after she sent both his suits to the dry cleaners, “I’ll have you court marshaled!”

-- The Bing-isms:

“Whoa, whoa, time, time, cut!”

“It’s a little dangerous putting those knights up on those bleached chargers.”

“I’m starting to play a little trombone here m’self.”

“Grab the cow.”

-- Irving Berlin’s tremendous songs.

-- Wallace and Davis assisting the Haynes sisters skip town on a warrant for their arrest. Apparently none of them plan on returning to Florida anytime soon.

-- “Mutual I’m sure!”

-- Danny Kaye’s “small internal muscular hemorrhage” or “small compound fracture.”

-- The foreshadowing of Rosemary Clooney’s future weight gain in the “Back in the Army” number.

-- The General leaving one of his soldiers hanging with a phantom handshake.

-- I could go on and on. Best Christmas movie ever!

12 Days of Criticism

2012-11-30T14:42:00.001-08:00

Christmas is coming and we here at Critical Errors have a very special gift to share with all our faithful readers. All eight of you. In the days between now and December 25th I will be--fingers crossed--posting a sort of 12 Days of Christmas series of reviews. Twelve reviews between now and Christmas. Pretty ambitious considering I've posted exactly 12 reviews since May, but we're going to make it happen. And if not, I will personally show up at your house on Christmas morning dressed as Kris Kringle and will clean up all your discarded wrapping paper. But no! That won't be necessary, because it is going to happen. I'm enlisting the assistance of some guest bloggers to help bear the load and if they come through we'll get this thing done, no sweat. Most will be Christmas related in nature, but not all.

Expect the first post, the partridge in a pear tree, if you will, in the next day or two, then one every couple of days thereafter. By the time we're through, you'll be so overwhelmed by the steady stream of mind-blowing critiques you won't want to read another review all year! Wait. Strike that. You won't want to read another review anywhere else all year! Yeah, that sounds better.

So keep us open in a browser tab, be sure to Like Critical Errors on Facebook (you can do that at the top of the sidebar), check back regularly, and be sure to leave us a comment or three. Agree, disagree, whatever.

In less exciting programming news, I am discontinuing the In 102 Words Exactly feature. The original goal of 102 Words was to review something I didn't have time or energy to do a full review for, but still thought was noteworthy with a bit of brevity. However, as it turns out, trying to cram your critical thoughts into exactly 102 words is more difficult and time consuming than you might think. I'll bring this feature back in some format at some point. Maybe In 102 Words More or Less, or something. Stay tuned. In the meantime, the already written 102 posts will remain active and searchable by the 102 Words tag. Because I just know you need them at your fingertips at a moments notice.

The Shootist

2012-11-21T17:43:00.001-08:00

Its hard to imagine a more fitting final film for a well known movie star then director Don Siegel's The Shootist starring John Wayne. It's 1901 and the West, for the most part, has already been won. Many towns of the West now boast running water, electric lights, telephones, and, soon, electrified street cars. The once Wild West is becoming increasingly tamed.

The Duke plays aging gunslinger J.B. Books, a legend from that bygone era rapidly fading away into history, when men settled their differences with hot lead. To further underscore the transition from one epoch to another, both in the history portrayed in the movie and the history of movies, a series of clips from John Wayne westerns through the decades stands in as evidence of J.B. Books' exploits in the Old West. Diagnosed with a cancer of an advanced nature, Books arrives in Carson City for a second opinion from a trusted friend, Doc Hostetler, played by Jimmy Stewart. Hostetler not only confirms the original diagnosis, but paints a vivid and painful picture of what Brooks can expect in his few remaining weeks and insinuates that for a man of courage there are other, much less painful ways to die.

Brooks takes up residence in the boarding house of widow Bond Rogers, played by Laruen Bacall, and her hot headed son Gillom, played by Ron Howard. Brooks hopes to live out his final days in peace, anonymously in Carson City. No such luck. Before long word gets around the legend has moved into town, much to the chagrin of both Rogers and the loquacious Sheriff Thibido, played by Harry Morgan, who both fear his presence will bring to town those who wish to settle old scores or take up new ones now that Brooks is wasting away with disease. Their fears are not without merit, as Brooks encounters old enemies and makes new ones upon his arrival, and there is at least one attempt on his life at the boarding house.

Besides the assassins Books is beset with fortune seekers of every kind. Books encounters newspaper men, aspiring gunmen, even an old flame, all looking to make a name, and a dollar, for themselves by cashing in on Books' legend.

There are only a couple of scenes of gunplay, as the movie is really a character study of Brooks as he takes stock of what his life has been in his dying days. This is arguably The Dukes best acting performance, right up there with his role as Ethan Edwards in The Searchers and his two turns as Rooster Cogburn in True Grit (1969) and Rooster Cogburn. John Wayne isn't for everybody, but I've always liked him, and no one can deny his place as one of movies all time legends. He's a more reflective sort in The Shootist, as I suppose dying men often are, and you have to think that given the circumstances John Wayne must have seen quite a bit of himself in J.B. Books and vice versa. Yet, he is without a doubt still John Wayne, quick with a quip and a gun, taking no lip from anybody.

As Books lives out his final days, his relationship with Bond is contentious--she does not approve of his life of work--but as two lonely souls brought together in the face of death, they develop a mutual respect which may have become something more if not for Books' dire diagnosis. Then again, maybe if he wasn't at death's door he wouldn't have softened enough for a respectable woman like Bond. Books also forges a relationship with her son, Gillom, who idolizes the legend of Books and thinks he knows the sort of man Books is and wants to emulate him. He discovers he might not have what it takes, or even the desire to acquire it, to be a man like Books. And maybe Books isn't exactly what Gillom thought he was in the first place.

In the end, Books decides that Doc Hostetler was right, and there are other ways to meet his finality then his insides being eaten away, and he engineers the final act of his life to that end.

If a western can be heartfelt and still be a western, this is it. Great performances all around and a fitting end to a legendary career in the movies.

Here's a trailer:

Ike's Place

2012-10-21T01:40:00.000-07:00

When John Montagu the 4th Earl of Sandwich had his servants bring him a slab of meat squeezed between slices of bread to quickly satiate his hunger during marathon gambling sessions, he must have realized what he was onto. Such a simple concept, yet it took until the mid 18th century for someone to figure it out. But boy am I glad he did.

I love me a good sandwich. It's something so simple, and yet difficult to master. Any schmo can layer cold cuts between a couple of Wonder Bread slices, but that doesn't make it a good sandwich. My uncles contend that my grandmother made the best sandwiches. Using the exact same ingredients, could I not make an equally great sandwich? The answer is no. I've had my grandmother's sandwiches.

What is it then? Is it the meat to bread to cheese to condiment ratio? That is of course part of it. And then there is the quality of the ingredients themselves. A sourdough roll is great, but if its too hard it'll cut the roof of your mouth and all the guts of the sandwich will squirt out the sides. What's the best mustard; spicy brown, honey Dijon, or plain ol' French's yellow? Which meat and cheese combinations are the best? Lettuce or sprouts? What is king of the meats: turkey, salami, ham, bologna, olive loaf, head cheese? The options are endless.

Whatever the secret to a great sandwich the folks at Ike's Place--namely Ike Shehadeh--have got it figured out. There are several Ike's Place locations in the Bay Area and my family and I ate at one of the newest ones in Santa Rosa. A couple buddies of mine, one of them a sandwich connoisseur such as myself, recommended it. And now I have to kill him because the sandwiches are so good I may eat them too often and will soon sport an unsightly spare tire. Or a slightly larger, more unsightly spare tire.

Ike's Place menu's vary by location, adapting themselves to the local culture. For instance a sandwich featuring pastrami, bacon, and Swiss is called a Say Hey in San Francisco, but a Charles Schultz in Santa Rosa. This particular sandwich--on a freshly made dutch crunch roll--was my first at Ike's and it blew my mind.

Like the stupendous dutch crunch roll I had--and have had several time hence---all of Ike's bread choices are freshly baked, with their super secret and delicious dirty sauce baked right in! You can get bread without the baked in sauce, but why would you? I have no idea what the dirty sauce is, or why its called dirty sauce, but I frankly don't care. It's awesome.

Among others, I've also had the Jaymee Sirewich, named for Comcast Sports Network reporter Jaymee Sire. Consisting of fried chicken, pepper jack cheese, Ike's yellow BBQ sauce, and ranch, its as spunky and sweet as Jaymee Sire herself! I'm speculating there. I have no idea if Jaymee Sire is spunky or sweet, but I figure the odds must be pretty good if she is the namesake of a sandwich this amazing.

I've also had the Jon Lum. I have no idea who John Lum is--and am apparently too lazy to google him--but if he's got a ribeye and cheddar sandwich with onion rings named in his honor he must be one incredible individual.

Needless to say, I have yet to be disappointed by Ike's. To me, they've lept to the top of the heap when it comes to chain restaurant sandwich making. In this blogger's book the order goes like this: Ike's, Togo's, Quizno's, and Subway and their lettucewiches a very, very, very distant fourth.

If you're in the Bay Area, chances are you can find an Ike's near by. If you don't love whatever you get, I guarantee to reimburse you.
(Guarantee will not be honored)

Foyle's War

2012-09-03T04:46:00.000-07:00

I've never been a huge fan of the murder mystery genre of television shows. It seems they are either skewed to the elderly demographic (Murder She Wrote, Matlock, Agatha Christy for example) or so self-consciously quirky and quippy that they become blindingly irritating and absurd (Bones for example). Also, the way they hold back information that the hero suddenly reveals at the end when he/she solves the mystery and the endless red herrings set up to distract us make me feel manipulated and cheated. To a degree, this isn't entirely their fault, as it wouldn't be much of a mystery if the culprit was obvious from the get-go. However, that element and the fact that once they do catch the perp he or she immediately feels compelled to confess everything is utter contrivance. Apparently these ne'er do wells did not do well in civics class and are not aware of something called the 5th Amendment. I guess that makes sense. They're ne're do wells. But, for these reason I've never really been able to get into this particular type of show.

However, I have found an exception, and while it does fall into some of those same traps, which, again are at least partially unavoidable given the genre, it manages to do so in a more accptable way. The show is Foyle's War, a British series aired on PBS that my wife and I started watching thanks to the magic of Netflix Watch Instantly.

Foyle's War stars Michael Kitchen as Detective Chief Superintendent Christopher Foyle--or as he always introduces himself, "My name is Foyle. I'm a police officer." It's 1940's war-time England and Foyle, too old for the draft and too valuable to the war-depleted police service to be transferred into some civilian war-time capacity, he man's the home front solving murders, sabotage, and the like. He is assisted by his young female driver, the spunky and easger Samantha (Sam) Stewart of the MTCs and a serious wounded veteran of the botched British campaign in Norway, Sergeant Milner, who at times struggles with life back on the home front.

What makes the show unique is the backdrop of the war. As a period piece it feels authentic and gives you an idea of what life was like on the British home front. The war overshadowed everything, even murder investigations and more then once Foyle, though a supporter of the war effort and parent of an RAF flyer, finds himself at odds with some aspect of that very effort. Whether it's arresting someone who may be a valuable war time official, or releasing a person of interest in a crime because it would benefit the cause, Foyle is faced with tough decisions. He's a man of principal and takes his job very seriously, but he is not without compassion and humanity and is not adverse to being pragmatic. Kitchen plays the character superbly. His quiet and unassuming manner belie an unflappable determination and most underestimate him at first meeting. He can be cheeky and brilliantly British; understated and deadpan. And like all good television gumshoes, he always gets his man. At least so far, I've only watched the first three episodes.

The episodes are long, almost feature length at around an hour and a half, which allows plenty of time for the stories to develope and give the characters some depth. It's not hip or clever and is a bit Masterpiece Theater-ish, but as a well acted whodunit with an interesting and original backdrop it works and is worth checking out.

The Big Year

2012-08-07T16:14:00.000-07:00

If you had approached me yesterday and merely suggested that one of the most entertaining movies I would watch so far this year would star Steve Martin, Jack Black, and Owen Wilson as rival bird watchers, I would've punched you in the face for even proffering such a ridiculous scenario. However, I would then have to pick you up, dust you off, and apologize because that ludicrous sounding suggestion just happens to be the truth.

The Big Year, directed by David Frankel, is the story of three bird enthusiasts, all in pursuit of a big year. A big year is a competition amongst fans of the avian to spot as many species as you can in one calendar year in a particular geographic area. If Wikipedia is to be trusted the real life record for the United States (excluding Hawaii) is 745 species, held by a Sandy Komito. Our fictitious birding trio is played by the aforementioned Steve Martin, Jack Black, and Owen Wilson.

Owen Wilson is the brash and cocky record holder Kenny Bostick. Kenny, a building contractor, is gunning--or binnocularing--for his second big year. Staying true to his contractor's scruples, he will do darn near anything to get it, including leaving his expecting to soon be expecting wife mostly on her own to get the house ready for the baby for the year.

Steve Martin is successful CEO Stu Preissler, who has done most of his birding from high atop the New York skyrise that bears his name on the facade. After one false start on retirement already, Stu is finally ready to get out of the office and give a big year a try but is incessantly pestered by his former staff to come back to the boardroom.

And then there is Jack Black. Though, it's a lesser Jack Black than we're used to. Or, maybe understated is a better word. He's still Jack Black, just....quieter. In a good way. He plays the semi-loser Brad Harris. Stuck in a job he doesn't like, divorced, and still living with his parents, Brad sees the big year as a chance to do something with his life. His father, grumpily played by Brian Dennehy, thinks its all a big waste of time.

And so the three set out, seperately, to spot or hear as many fowl as possible. Their paths inevitably cross and the competition intensifies as each suspects the other of doing a big year. Apparently you try to keep that hush hush so as not to tip off other birders and further stoke the competitive fires of your rivals.

It's mostly a light hearted movie, though there are some moments of pathos when each of our protagonists weighs the costs of pursuing their passion. Whether its Kenny disappointing his wife and putting his marriage on the line, or Stu's wrestling with letting go of the corporate life and the company he built from nothing, or Brad dealing with a disapproving father who doesn't understand his son's passion and has no real desire to do so. All three are met with difficult choices along the way and must ask themselves what they are willing to sacrifice for what really amounts to just a hobby. But as we all know, first hand or other wise, hobbies often become passions and those passions become dreams and dreams are what help to make our lives interesting and worth living.

But it's not all hard choices and pathos. It's mostly funny. It's not necessarily lolemutpot funny (for the uninformed that's laughing-out-loud-every-minute-until-the-point-of-tears), but there are several audible laughter moments and an overall vibe of fun. Ok, I'm about to channel the elderly for a second, so bear with me, but so many comedies these days rely on over the top stunts and fart jokes for cheap laughs, that it was refreshing to watch a comedy that didn't have to go there. That should tell you just how restrained Jack Black, one of the best physical comics out there, actually was. I counted only one prat fall. And it was funny. Ok, I feel the Spirit of the Elderly leaving my body. Wait...WHY CAN'T I GET TO THE INTERWEB ON MY CORDLESS PHONE DAGNABIT! Ok, now it's gone.

Lastly, since our characters travel back and forth across this great nation in search of their birds we get to check out some pretty great parts of America's natural beauty. Some lesser known, like Attu Island and the Ruby Mountains. Some pretty cool bird footage too, though actually I wish there had been a little more. It might have helped us non-birders appreciate what the big deal is a little better.

It's not a perfect movie, and dances dangerously close to sappy on a couple of occasions, but it was surprisingly enjoyable. You know, because its about bird watching. Which is probably why its already all but been forgotten about, and that's for the birds.

Contagion

2012-07-31T16:17:00.001-07:00

I will never touch a doorknob, each peanuts out of a communal bowl, or shake hands with a Chinese chef ever again. Thanks a lot Contagion!

Steven Soderbergh's medical thriller Contagion is a tautly spun tail of epidemic and panic, made all the more frightening by its realism that makes you think, "Wow, this could really happen!" That realism--along with an exceptional ensemble cast and a creepy, ominous soundtrack--is that separates this movie from all other "disaster" flicks. We all know the world isn't going to really end in 2012 and regardless of what you think about global warming you gotta admit an overnight northern hemispheric blizzard where you literally have to outrun temperature is pretty unlikely, not to mention California joining Hawaii as an island state (for the record, I love a bad disaster movie; always so full of wonderful cheese and you usually get to see a beloved landmark crushed/swallowed up/melted/toppled/imploded).

To be sure the scenario in Contagion is unlikely, but certainly not out of the realm of possibility, especially in light of the SARS, bird flu, H1N1, and swine flu scares over the last few years.

The story starts with a cough. Seemingly innocent enough, but before long the cougher is overtaken with fever and seizures. Similar symptoms soon appear in other corners of the world. Medical officials the world over are stumped by this new virus and there is no known treatment. As the CDC and it's counterparts around the world scramble to find the origin and research to develop a vaccine, the disease continues to spread rapidly, aided by the virtual closeness of our globalized world. As the virus spreads, so does fear and becomes as, if not more dangerous, than the virus itself. Rioters storm grocery stores and pharmacies, stocking up on canned goods and bottled water. People live in fear of handshakes and the mere breath of neighbors. Purported by a popular conspiracy theorist blogger to be a cure, a supposed homeopathic remedy becomes a valuable commodity with roving mobs willing to threaten and kill to get it. Health officials are kidnapped and held hostage, their captors hoping they will be moved to the front of the line when a vaccine is finally discovered. Meanwhile, the body count continues to rise.

Rather than follow one main character's thread through this nightmare, Soderbergh takes an ensemble approach, looking at the epidemic from different points a view. The actors are all top notch and give good performances. Matt Damon and Gwyneth Paltrow are a husband and wife, one who is immune, one who is most certainly not; Lawernce Fishburne is the public face of the CDC both trying to help find a cure and trying to keep the public from going into full scale panic; Kate Winslet is a CDC researcher who is out in the field trying to track down the origin's putting herself in peril; Marion Cotillard is a WHO doctor working in Asia trying to track down the source; Jude Law is the conspiracy theory blogger, bent on exposing the government secrets he's sure are being covered up. The cast is rounded out by Elliott Gould, Jennifer Ehle, John Hawkes, and Breaking Bad's Bryan Cranston.

The movie moves along at a good clip, not lingering on one character or story line too long, always keeping things fresh and interesting. You witness the breakdown of society from every angle and watch the characters wrestle with difficult decisions: should a government official tell his loved ones privledged information that would give them an advantage over the general populace? If a cure is found, how can it be fairly distributed? What's the balance between national health and national security?

Despite the obviously upsetting premise, the movie ends on a pretty positive note, though even that is still bittersweet.

Contagion is a solid movie all the way around, being both entertaining and intellectually stimulating. Just be sure you wash your hands afterward.

Lake Almanor

2012-07-16T21:55:00.001-07:00

I have a good reason for the extended gap between reviews this time. Honest. I've been lounging on the beautiful, alpine shores of Lake Almanor for the last week. What's that you say? You aren't familiar with this Lake Almanor? Well let me enlighten you (what a a fortuitous opportunity to share my first Place review).

To be honest, I'm a little hesitant to enlighten you too much. I feel like Lake Almanor is something of a well-kept secret. I'm afraid after my massive audience reads this review it'll become another Lake Tahoe. But I guess that's a risk I'm willing to take.

Lake Almanor is located in Plumas County in Northern California, according to Google Maps 81.6 miles east of Red Bluff and just south of Mt. Lassen. Resting at about 4500 feet and nestled between the Plumas and Lassen National Forests, the setting is every bit as beautiful as Tahoe, but without the crowds and traffic. The lake itself isn't quite Tahoe's crystal blue, but it's a whole lot warmer and doesn't stop your heart when you jump in for a swim like Tahoe's frigid waters. This is helpful for when you fall off your boat or jet ski, which there is plenty of space to do, with its 32000 acres of surface area and 52 miles of shoreline. I've been going to Lake Almanor for over 20 years and there is still plenty of lake I've never seen, either from on the water or the shore.

The fishing is usually good, either in the lake itself or many of the streams in the area such as Hamilton Branch or Deer Creek. This year was a little slow, with most of our catches consisting of smallish bass near the shore, but my cousin did land a pike which was probably seven or eight pounds. Since we didn't have a scale handy, we couldn't get an official weight so my family record setting seven pound King Salmon in 1989 still stands!

Like I said, my family and I have been going to Lake Almanor since the mid-80's, and it's just about the perfect spot for a big family group. We used to rent a house from a family acquaintance, but with all the kids getting bigger and having kids of their own, we outgrew those accommodations. However, there are plenty of places to stay on or very near the lake. Anything from rustic tent camping to RVing it to fancy lakeside resorts. Ok, I don't know how fancy they really are--this isn't Tahoe after all--but there are some very nice places. The last couple trips we've stayed at the Carson Chalets, which offer very comfortable and clean triangular domiciles just a brief walk from the private beach.

If just sitting in or boating on the lake isn't all you would like to do, there are lots of other outdoorsy activities close at hand. Mt Lassen and its National Park is nearby, with plenty of hiking trails, waterfalls, and Bumpass Hell, a festering, bubbling canyon full of sulfur pots. Pretty stinky, but worth checking out. Here's an overly dramatic video describing the area:

Ok, thanks for that.

If you're up for a bit of a drive through the mountains--though on surprisingly straight roads--Burney Falls State Park is about an hour and a half away. It's a beautiful drive and the destination is absolutely worth it. Burney Falls are (or is it "is"?) one of the coolest looking falls anywhere and the hike to the base takes all of about 10 minutes, so you get maximum reward for very little effort. Here's a video of the falls...just mute the audio. Very annoying music.

The nearest town of any size, which really isn't, is the hamlet of Chester. You'll find your standard grocery store and a couple of sporting goods stores there to stock up on supplies. There are a couple of decent eateries, like the Kopper Kettle for breakfast (I recommend the biscuits and gravy) and either the Pine Shack or the Lassen Gifts soda fountain for milkshakes. The Pine Shack has over 30 flavors!

But if you're more interested in sticking close to your campsite/cabin/chalet at the lake, you certainly will not be disappointed. Lake Almanor is Lake Tahoe without the crowds, heart palpitations, and gambling. Right, so if you like gambling go to Tahoe. If not go to Almanor. Wait! No, don't. Bah...too late. Now it'll be overrun with Critical Errors fans. Just when you see me soaking up some sun while fishing for The Big One, don't all rush up for your autograph at once.

The Intellectual Devotional: American History Edition

2012-07-05T10:54:00.001-07:00

I'm something of a trivia junkie. I DVR Jeopardy every day. I've even taken the contestant test a few times (still waiting for my call). I'm the All-Star cleanup hitter in the annual New Year's Eve Trivial Pursuit my wife and I play with friends every year. Give me a movie, and I can tell you who's in it. Give me a song, I can tell you who sang it. Give me a war, a book, a country, I can tell you who fought it, who wrote it, and what the capital city is. Most of this information, I have no idea how I know it. It just floated through space one day and my specially tuned magnetic brain plucked it out of the air. None of this information is very useful, however, except in trivia games. I was hardly a brainiac in school, and straight As were never on my report card.

The one subject I did always do well in however, was history. Maybe that's because with all its names, facts and dates to memorize it fit naturally into my intellectual wheelhouse. Whatever the case, I've always loved it. That's also probably why I love the book my family gave me for Father's Day, The Intellectual Devotional: American History. It combines my love history with my love of factoids into one concise volume, perfect for a quick glance while drinking your morning coffee or for a longer look while retiring to the lavatory to consider more personal matters.

The Intellectual Devotional series of readers--there are five editions--are modeled after their spiritual counterparts, but instead of a passage of scripture and a brief ecclesiastical thought for the day, they devote a page every day of the year to one fact and an explanation of it. In the case of the edition I received, American History.

The book covers topics in seven "fields of knowledge": politics and leadership, war and peace, rights and reform, business, building America, literature, and the arts. Within each topic, which are spread throughout the book, are the subjects of the one page synopses on everything from Jamestown to Mark Twain to the Smithsonian to the Panic of 1853 to Bob Dylan. There are of course the well known people and things you'd expect to find, like George Washington and the Civil War, but also things you probably were supposed to learn in school but forgot about, like Brown v. the board of education and the Lend-Lease Act, to things you probably never heard about like Jacob Riis and the Utopians.

Now, it's a pretty good trick to be able to boil something as complex as the Civil War down to a one page capsule, but the authors David S. Kidder and Noah D. Oppenheimer do a pretty good job of hitting the high marks for each topic. This obviously is not intended to be an exhaustive look at each of these aspects of American history, but it serves as a good jumping off point for further study on something maybe you weren't aware of.

Whether you're an aspiring Jeopardy contestant like me or want to brush up on your knowledge of the USA (or are looking for something to read in the bathroom) this is a book you should checkout. I know I'll be purchasing the other editions at some point in preparation for next year's Jeopardy test.

The Adjustment Bureau

2012-06-24T16:41:00.000-07:00

Men with~~out~~ hats.

The Adjustment Bureau is a fine little movie if you find yourself at home on a Tuesday night and all the other HBO On Demand selections are things you've already seen or look even more tedious. Such was the situation for the wife and I this last Tuesday. There isn't anything particularly egregiously bad about The Adjustment Bureau, but neither is there anything worth writing home or on your blog about. Unless you're desperate for content...

George Nolfi directs Matt Damon as David Norris, rogue blue-collar congressman from the Bronx with a bright future, but also a penchant for forgetting he's a public figure and doing really stupid things. So, not unlike a real life congressman. Thus far his tomfollery has not cost him politically, but that's about to change. During his race for the Senate seat, word gets out of some frat boy stunt and Norris finds himself in hot water. One things leads to another, and the next thing he knows he's in a hotel men's room kissing a ballerina who is on the lam from hotel security. Which as it turns out, is not nearly as tawdry as it sounds.

Norris is mesmerized by the security-dodging ballerina Elsie Sellas, played by Emily Blunt, and the two attempt to strike up a romance. I say attempt because a shadowy group of men in hats are determined to keep them apart. Yes, you read that right.

The hatted gentleman are members of the--you guessed it--Adjustment Bureau. Employed by someone called The Chairman, it's their job to keep things going according to plan and to make, ahem, adjustments when things start to go off course. Who or what they are and who exactly The Chairman is is hinted at, and sorta kinda nebulous, but they are equipped with a few special skills to accomplish their task. Like the hats, for instance. And some really spiffy notebooks. However, they are not all powerful and have rules they must follow as well.

The bulk of the movie is Norris' quest to discover why the Adjustment Bureau has it in for him and why he and Elsie aren't supposed to be together.

The movie is based on Philip K. Dick story The Adjustment Team. I've never read any Philip K. Dick, but the movies I've seen based on his works (Minority Report and Blade Runner) deal a lot with free will and if it really exists or not, and this one has themes along those same lines. It's sorta Matrix-y in that way.

The performances are fine. Damon and Blunt are fine as the leads, and though I found Blunt's character to be a little annoying and not someone I would want to spend a lot of time with, Damon's attraction to her was believable enough. The Adjustment Bureau squad members include Anthony Mackie, Terrance Stamp, and Mad Men's John Slattery, who apparently can only take roles where he wears finely tailored suits. In their roles, all three are just...fine.

Fine. That about sums it all up. It's a fine caper-ish mix of sci-fi and thriller, with a dash of romance. The ending left me a little flat, leaving some lose ends to the imagination, but not in a really satisfying way. But, it's a fine little movie, especially if you're a fan of millinery, as I am, and find yourself with nothing better to do on a Tuesday night.