Loving my Life as a Firefighter Wife & Mom!

A MONTH WENT BY...

2015-03-05T03:23:00.000-08:00

and I haven't blogged!

I have been keeping my word of the year in mind: TEMPO!

I'm enjoying moments with the kids and my hubby!

As much as I can... I'm not packing our days and nights full!

I'm loving my life!

I'LL HAVE GRAY HAIR...

2015-02-04T02:16:00.000-08:00

by the end of the month...

raising a daughter who is on an emotional rollercoaster!

I'm not going to get into a lot of conversations I've had with Haley, but yesterday was by far the worst! She had meltdown after meltdown and it BROKE my heart!

Drew stayed with Mammaw while I took Sis to dance. I decided to run to the bookstore (because she didn't want me to walk her in) to see what I could find on self-confidence, body image, maturing, etc... {HELP ME!!}

I asked the guy at the desk and of course every book I had researched had to be ordered. Impatient... I needed something now! I sat down in the aisle and had 7 books spread out in front of me. I was reading the back of every cover and none of them were what I was looking for. None of them seemed right for Haley.

A little baby girl (1 year old) walked over to me and I started "chatting" with her. (Honestly, I was thinking that I wished Haley was that little again and I was wanting to wish the mom good luck when the baby was a tween!) The mom couldn't have been 25-30 and looked at all the books in front of me and said, "I don't know if you are a believer or not, but the Christian section has some great books."

I told her that I was a believer and THANKED her!

I put all the books up and walked over to the Christian books and pulled out 2 right away. They were perfect! AMEN!!

Why didn't I go to that section first?
Why didn't I ask God to help me and guide me?

What a wonderful thing happened last night!

Now... to help Haley...

HERE'S TO OUR NEXT CHAPTER...

**Tom really makes me laugh too about all this and how he may not survive!**

AMERICAN SNIPER...

2015-01-18T02:19:00.001-08:00

is an amazing movie!!

I've never seen a movie theater so packed ...
or so silent when a movie was over...

So grateful for all our American Soldiers!

THANK YOU!

THIS MAY...

2015-01-17T02:43:00.000-08:00

make some mad, irritate others, or inspire you...

I'm not sure which!

I want to start of saying that Tom and I work our butts off for what we have. We are in a great place... or at least heading in the right direction. I'm so tired of people making comments about "Carmel money." I learned a long time ago to be thankful for what I have... and that I had to earn what I wanted. I don't make comments about others paycheck or what they do with it! You have no idea... and frankly, it's none of your business! [end rant]

Starting over as a single mom was rough... but I survived and did the best I could. As most of you know, I've always been one of God's children, but it was when I got divorced that I {really} decided to follow Christ... with my whole heart! I knew I needed a Godly man in my life... and then I met Tom. He jumped in with both feet and never looked back. Our first few years together weren't all sunshine and roses, but we made it.

Yes, I'm going to say it. God is the main reason for our success. We are not perfect! We do not meet God’s expectations daily. We sin just as everyone else!

Every day we strive to be better and strive to live according to God’s word.

Most importantly when we talk about our life, our future, our goals... we give it to God. We {I} had hit a wall where we weren't certain we could take anymore and we gave it to him. We said let it be what you want it to be.

We asked God... please walk by us as we do it because we CANNOT do it on our own.

We:

strive to be better

strive to live the way we should

strive to let go of the reins

strive to let Him have complete control.

And when we get a little off course... He is quick to remind us we cannot do it on our own.

TALKING ABOUT...

2015-01-16T07:51:00.000-08:00

iTown... makes me happy!

I've had the chance to spread the word about our church 2 or 3 times in the past week! I love that people are interested in hearing about my journey there and want to know what the {hype} is!

I always give a little disclaimer first...

~ you may be overwhelmed the 1st time you go~

BUT... you will fall in love with this church just like we have!

Want to check it out with me sometime... I'll totally put you in the 2nd row with us!! It's just awesome... that's all I can say!

Or... you can sit in the last row with my brother-in-law and Coy... who ~~never~~ makes it through in the nursery!

The other kids all love it though! 5 of 6 kids is pretty good odds!

HEY HALEY...

2015-01-14T17:39:00.001-08:00

I'm creating a monster! This all started because she wanted to shower in the morning! She's getting to the age where she wants her hair done everyday... And I guess her outfit has to match her hair style! Geez! Daddy doesn't do hair, so he bought her a straightener and blow dryer for Christmas. I should really teach her how to use one so I don't have to get up any earlier! Just kidding... I love this!! I love her more than words!! She's always my #womancrushwednesday and everyday!

IT'S EASIER...

2015-01-08T07:34:00.001-08:00

than I thought it would be... to give up social media.

I won't lie... I miss being able to post pictures, but I'm not {withdrawing} like I thought I'd be!

On day 4, I do find myself thinking about it more and more though...

instead...

MEET SHAY...

2015-01-07T04:20:00.002-08:00

the newest fur baby... or grand fur baby?!

Miss Shay is a Teacup Yorkiepoo.

Her mom is a teacup yorkie and dad is toy poodle.

She weighs just over 1 lb... I'm guessing, but we go to the vet Friday.

She is full of energy for about 10 minutes and then crashes... then it's nap time!

Ember is doing pretty good with her. She has toys bigger than Shay! Shay has no fear though and acts like she is Ember's size!

Happy 11th {early} Birthday, Haley!

I wish I knew how to upload video to my blog, because her reaction was priceless! All of our eyes were tearing up!

MY ONE WORD IS...

2015-01-04T07:53:00.000-08:00

*TEMPO*

While continuing to read scripture... hoping God would lead me to my word... I came across the picture above! It kind of smacked me in the face! I am obsessed with watches and I am constantly looking to see what time it is. I always have to be somewhere, have the kids at an event, do that, finish this... and my schedule always seems to overwhelm me. I was reading about God's timing and how it is always perfect. I was reading about living in the moment and enjoying life. I began thinking about how fast pace our lives are and what I'm missing out on. I don't know what I'm missing out on... and that scary... or sad! Last night at church we started a new series called "Tiny Tweaks, Giant Peak" and that is where I came across the picture below. Pastor Dave talked about it in terms of New Year's Resolutions, but I'm thinking about it in terms of everyday life... and when I look back at an older age... or when the kids look back at an older age. I want to make those {small things} some of our favorite memories! I want to slow MY... our [pace] or [change our rate of speed]. I want to enjoy life. I want to embrace the moment. I don't want to live out of my planner and have every minute of our lives planned out. We have crazy schedules... and I want to cherish our times together. I don't want to get so caught up in cleaning, running places, etc that we don't enjoy our times together. I want to be able to drop anything and everything and grab my kids or husband... just to say:

I LOVE you!

21 DAYS...

2015-01-04T05:23:00.003-08:00

of Fasting and Prayer

I have never completed a fast where my heart and mind were 100% invested and that is all about to change! 2014 was a year of growing my faith and I can not wait to continue my journey in 2015. I am so excited to see what God has in store for me... and my family!

Today marks Day 1 of fasting. I'm not going to lie... I picked something very hard to give up! It's not about food or a diet for me. I had to pick something that takes me away from God and my family. As a society, everything we do is on our phones or on a computer and I needed to step away. At 9:30 pm last night, I deleted all social media from my phone: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat! (insert twitch here) I knew Twitter and Snapchat wouldn't be hard, but I LOVE posting pictures on instagram and "stalking" people on Facebook. It was consuming too much of my time.

Now... anytime I think I need to get on my phone, I just say a little prayer or start a conversation or read! I can't wait to be in the present! I can't wait for the knowledge I'm about to gain... either from my kids, Tom, the Bible, reading books, etc! I'm ready for this Spiritual Cleanse and actually hear the Holy Spirit!

Some friends and I went to church last night since I had to work today and I'm so glad we did. I had other options, but this year is about growing my faith... and really putting God first... so that's what I did! Pastor Dave gave us an assignment and I've been working on it for about an hour now... and it's starting to drive me a tad bit insane... because I can't think of the perfect WORD!

I'm trying to pick one word... that is the focus of everything I do for this entire year. This word won't just be for me... but for my family as well. I want it to be the first thing I think about before acting or making a decision. I know what I'm thinking about... I just can't seem to pick the PERFECT one for me... for my family!

Stay tuned!

Since I won't be on Facebook... I will be blogging along my way!

"I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me"

Philippians 4:13

HELLO 2015...

2015-01-02T08:43:00.001-08:00

I'm so happy to see you!

2014 has been a wonderful year!

I am so thankful for all the amazing people in my life! There is no way I can possibly list every incredible thing/moment that happened, but I'll tell you what matters most:

1. My faith (iTown Church) has grown tremendously! I've always been close to God, but now that I LOVE our church... It makes going and learning and growing that much more awesome! I also LOVE that our friends and family are going with us and we are able to spread the word!

2. Tom and I have a wonderful marriage (no one is perfect) and I can't describe what he means to the kids and me! I dedicated a whole post to him awhile back! He is my rock when I think the world may end! I'm so proud of him and his accomplishments!

3. Haley has been pretty healthy and did not have one hospital stay this year! She has developed in more ways than one, but this attitude needs to go! I've always informed everyone that she would be my payback child! She is so mature for her age and is so loving!

4. Drew is excelling and keeps me on my toes. He has brought his grades up and loves all things outside... sports and farming! Now... if I could just get him to like reading!

5. My family and friends! They are always there for me (and my family)... no matter what! Words can't explain my love for them!

I can't believe I lost two grandparents this year... 6 months apart! Rough times!

I wish you all the best in 2015! I can't wait to see what is in store for my family!!

HMMMM....

2014-12-20T07:02:00.001-08:00

TO CHOP... OR NOT TO CHOP?!

I love this haircut... but would it look good with my hair type... I have no idea!

Would I be upset because I couldn't throw my hair in a pony tail... still up for debate!

Hmmm... I don't know what to do!!

NO WORDS...

2014-12-20T06:55:00.004-08:00

can express how thankful I am for this man in {our} lives!

Thank you for loving us...

and for working your ass off for us!

I should really work on picture quality!

We appreciate everything you do...

even if we forget to tell you!

I LOVE YOU

forever & always

MERRY CHRISTMAS...

2014-12-19T04:46:00.004-08:00

from my family to yours!

Remember the reason for the season!

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

BEEF CONGRESS 2014

2014-12-19T04:24:00.001-08:00

I am so proud of the kids! We can't complete with Quality at this show, but my kids had the best attitude. Even though their cattle had some issues in the ring... I know they worked their butts off and kept a smile on their faces. They didn't give up!

Drew and Mario - 1st year showing

Haley and Cooper- 3rd year showing

(Copper is Haley's first heifers calf)

LIFE IS SHORT...

2014-11-26T06:56:00.002-08:00

or not really...

It's hard to say life is short when you are 99 years old.

Dad called me yesterday afternoon and told me that they had started grandma on Morphine to keep her comfortable. I knew the end was near... but not that close. I was ok... because I was with a sick kiddo and knew I couldn't go over there yet to see her. I met up with Justin to give him Haley (which was hard enough knowing she was so sick) and headed to the farm. I was still ok... until I walked into the shop! My mind started racing and the last time someone was on Morphine... he took his last breath while I was holding his hand. Remember... my grandpa just passed away on Father's Day of this year. I looked at my dad and said, "I can't do this! I can't go inside, because Grandpa died on me!"

Well... dad went inside with me... and there she was... lying in her hospital bed in the living room where grandpa's chair used to be... struggling to get enough O2. (Her stats were still low even though she is on an NC...)

I'm not ready to let the glue of the Musselman Family go...

but how selfish is that?!?

Grandma has continued to decline in health since Grandpa died. She misses him terribly! I'm convinced when the time comes for her to leave the Earth... it will be because of a broken heart! She just wants to be with the love of her life! I mean... they were married for 77-78 years! I'm also convinced that Grandpa will be waiting at Heaven's door with his arms wide open... waiting for her!

I understand people can be on Morphine for awhile to keep them comfortable. I know it doesn't mean she will die today... but it still hurts. I felt like I said good-bye last night. I'm not ready!!

I am so incredibly lucky... and blessed with the memories I have of Grandma... of the memories I have of my kids with Grandma!

I'm not ready... but she is...

she is ready to dance! She is ready to be a ROCKETTE in Heaven. She is ready to be with Grandpa!

Until that day comes... I'll enjoy stopping by to see her!

HAVING SICK KIDS...

2014-11-26T06:23:00.002-08:00

is the worst thing ever! I feel like Haley can never catch a break! I HATE this for her!

On Sunday, I took her to Med Check at Community North due to a nasty cough that was getting worse...

After an x-ray that showed her lungs were full of crap... and an Albuterol treatment... the NP said she had the start of pneumonia and no school for 2 days. Her cough made my body hurt!

NO fun at all!!

This kid... wore a mask the entire time and said that he was going to get sick just by being there.

He was cracking me up... and making Haley so mad! He loves to torment her even though she didn't feel good!

Great way to end my work weekend... and start my 2 days off!

WHAT TO BLOG ABOUT...

2014-11-23T06:04:00.001-08:00

TOTALLY FORGOT...

2014-11-22T04:24:00.002-08:00

what it's like to have a 1 year old and 4.5 year old at home!

Adam asked if I could watch the boys so they could go to a movie!

No biggie... right?!?!

Thank goodness my neighbor rocks!!!

Ty wanted mac 'n' cheese for dinner... so I boiled noodles, added cheese and butter, then...

NO MILK!!!

Crap... I have no milk, no car seats, can't leave them home alone...

{Should I just throw the noodles out and make something else?!}

Thank you Crystal for bringing me some milk!

When she left... Ty said, "THANKS FOR VISITING!"

LET'S BE REAL...

2014-11-21T08:30:00.002-08:00

What do you stand for?

THE BEST NIGHT...

2014-11-21T05:57:00.001-08:00

was spent with my family!

It's no secret that I {cherish} the moments that I get to spend time with Tom, Haley, and Drew at the same time! The other night I wanted to snap a few family pictures for our Christmas Card and it was FREEZING outside! It took about 5 minutes, 3 poses, and a sis in law to operate camera since I couldn't find my tripod... ANYWHERE... and I love them!

BACK OF CAMERA - PREVIEW

After that we headed to the shop to butcher deer... Tom got 2 and Cody got 1... and we got meat in the freezer!

Well... kind of...

TROUBLE SHOOTING THE GRINDER

The kids were so funny! I love that they get to experience this and REALLY understand were our food comes from! Being a farm kid is AWESOME!!

Drew really wants a deer skin rug... and Tom may just make this happen!!

I LOVE THESE 3 WITH MY WHOLE HEART!!

Coy William...

2014-11-18T04:28:00.001-08:00

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY!!

No words can express exactly how much

I love being an AUNTIE!

It is one of the best things in the world!

The picture above is one of my all time favorites! Haley was so incredibly upset the day Coy was born and she was stuck in the hospital. I got to sneak out and go meet him for the first time, but Haley didn't for a few days. PRICELESS!!

Every kid has a picture like this at some point! I just love his bald head!!

Beef Congress 2013... Coy's first cattle show!

Drew Wayne finally held him! It took a bit, but he did good!

Coy William... We love you!

You light up our lives!!

WELL...

2014-11-07T07:09:00.000-08:00

It's not really Monday... in fact... it's Friday...

which means nothing to me!

I have to work all weekend... so today is my Monday!

{boo...}

Tom has to work today!

{boo...}

And... the kids are with Justin!

{boo...}

So... I hope Monday really does get here fast... because...

I'm off!

{yeah...}

Tom's off!

{yeah...}

And... the kids will be home! (they do have to go to school)

{yeah...}

HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

2014-11-03T05:31:00.001-08:00

EMBER!

REMINDER...

2014-11-03T05:26:00.001-08:00

Although I know nothing about being a dairy farmers wife, I love following Krista's blog!

(I say "Krista..." like we are on a first name basis... haha!)