Clairey Hewitt

The bigger picture includes a dinosaur.

2013-05-20T12:33:00.001+10:00

This week I took charge at home, I became strategic director of “Project Dinosaur”. I delegated each of the tasks to the appropriate staff members to ensure that the brief was fully met.

The team got to work, researching facts and figures from books and iPads. There was no T-Rex detail left uncovered before they took off to Officeworks and returned with poster paper and glue sticks, feathers and clag.

As official team leader and ‘owner’ of the end result of the project Popps got to make all the final decisions. Her handwriting became the font of choice.

Project Dinosaur now sits on a cabinet waiting for the day it is due at school.

It doesn’t look exactly like I thought it would.

Of course it doesn’t. I am not in Grade 1 and the creative ideas are not mine.

In a marketing capacity this happens all the time. You receive a brief, or more likely you chat with the people who need some assistance and write a brief up for yourself. You get brainstorming with ways to best meet the end goal, you write up timelines and in your head you start to picture how this will work. You make rules of what will and won’t be allowed, what will be acceptable. You get excited about how good this campaign is going to be. You share the ideas with the marketing comms team if you have one and fine-tune everything.

Then you present your project to the project owners and someone wants a change. The image apparently is just not quite right. They forgot to tell you that Hobnob Smith now wants the brochure to include a little bit of extra text, only half a page or so, can that just be squished in? Of course there is no money to print up an extra page, just make the font smaller, just push the heading over, just cut the lot and send them all to a website that we might (hopefully) have built soon.

Some days it feels like your client won’t be happy until you use comic sans.

Before you know it the project just must be printed, due dates can’t be pushed any further. Not always, but lots of times, you admit defeat. The marketing team roll their eyes at being beaten again by those higher up the corporate food chain and you all laugh that it doesn’t really matter, not like anyone is going to get hurt with poor marketing design.

This last month I have been working on some big projects with big budgets, big audience and multiple departments. The big picture is looking good, but it isn’t all to my liking.

And this is ok, because out of all my projects the only one that really truly matters, is Project Dinosaur.

The bees are busy at Capilano Honey: A review and giveaway for those who like the sweet stuff

2013-05-14T12:59:00.000+10:00

This sweet post is sponsored by the busy bees at Capilano Honey

A few weeks ago I received a lunch box in the mail with some honey sachets in it. Immy ripped it all apart and asked to be dressed as Alice in Wonderland using the ribbon that was around the package.

Once we got our outfits under control we decided that today was certainly a day for pikelets.

I cooked them up adding half a tin of pie apples to my basic recipe.

Immy assisted the best way she knows how by cleaning the spoon.

As the pikelets were cooking she grabbed a snap n squeeze honey, bent it in half and sucked out all the honey.

She then repeated this twice more before I realised.

The snap n squeeze is a silent little number. It is also really snappy and mess free, it meant no sticky honey fingers all over the place, no drips of honey anywhere on the bench and for this I am very grateful.

With lunch served, I handed over some more honey for Immy to add to her apple pikelets and she loved being in charge of her own food. Snapping the pack and letting it dribble all over the place. Sometimes in big drips and others in slow honey webs.

The taste is clear yummy honey. The same as you usually get. You are rewarded more with convenience here.

Usually, I wouldn't use snap n squeeze honey at home, it has so many uses for outside the house and it is a really convenient travel item. I have placed it in the school lunch box and I have taken it to work to add to a herbal tea. I have also taken them when we went away for a weekend and we snuck our breakfast in with our bags to the motel room.

I may have also used them to bribe my children to do things and used honey as a reward for exceptional behaviour (I know there are some judgey judge types who are very unhappy with this practice, I am sorry, but it is a natural product....I will try not to do this more than once a day) but if you put a couple in your pocket when you walk to the park, when you are ready to leave the park you wave the snap n squeeze honey in the air and happily suggest we walk home together while they have a little honey snack, sweet moments for everyone.

How do you think you would like to use snap n squeeze honey? Leave me a comment below telling me how, because Capilano want to send another FIVE people some honey too. I would love to hear what you might use this new product for.

Capilano have a nifty lunch box filled to the brim with snap n squeeze honey, some tea and a lovely tea cup and saucer to send out. (You might even get the pretty ribbon).

Terms and Conditions

1) Delivery is to an Australian address only

2) Enter as many times as you like

3) You do not have to like my facebook page or the page of Capilano Honey, but we would both like it if you did.

4) Comments will bee judged on entertainment merit only (sorry, had to do it once)

5) Comments are open for a full week from Tuesday 14 May until Tuesday 21 May (midnight) and after that comments will close for good.

6) No email, no prize.

Out and About: Albury Botanical Gardens

2013-05-10T22:38:00.000+10:00

Mr H and I are rather fond of a weekend away. There are few times when we decline a weekend adventure so when he suggested the whole family takes off for the weekend to Howlong (yes, that is the name of the town) I said a firm yes.

Howlong is well known for its golf course and that is where we stayed.

It seems the target audience of the Howlong Golf Club is 109 years old. Now, there is nothing wrong with this being the demographic, especially for Mr H, he went off and played golf - twice, but I was left to entertain the girls in a place that wasn't really that keen to have little kids around.

Lucky for me I have some rellies in Albury so I landed on their doorstep to be fed and entertained and was very happy I did.

My cousin invited us to take a walk down at the Albury Botanical Gardens after lunch and as I was in no hurry to return to the land of the gentry I said yes.

We walked through the main section of the botanical gardens with little Millie running ahead to show us the way, when we walked through the child proof gate and into the children's garden, I wish I had of known what to expect.

I would have had a blanket a bottle and a couple of glasses for wine. In the centre of the gardens is an open grass section perfect for picnics, the rest of the gardens provides ample spots for the kids to just run around. I followed the girls to see what they found, but if we were to return I would loudly state "The rules are you are not allowed outside the gate." Then I would retreat to my picnic rug and not expect to see them for at least an hour or so.

Here is what they would be getting up to.

The rotunda:

While the little ones did concerts, the bigger one found a fireman's pole and monkey bars.

There are actually two bamboo cubbies, this one with older, stronger thicker bamboo and another much younger growth one (that can't yet be climbed).

The main attraction is certainly the giant dinosaur, importantly for Immy, he wasn't a scary one, he was very friendly. He also includes some hidden treasures such as the interactive talking tube thingos. The little boy laying on the ground has found one.

The wise old owl is head of the circle that I can see being used by local community groups, there are lots of little wooden carved seats in the shapes of animals for little bottoms to sit on, while a grown up could sit at the owl and tell a story. Or lounge like Immy for a bit of a rest.

Dinosaurs hatched from eggs - big ones, and you can hide in one too.

Mille found this lizard and decided to bake in the sun a little herself too.

There are rocks for climbing on,

And places to be the king, don't miss the detailed rocks on the way up, apparently a giant lost his foot in the rocks there.

Before you leave, give the trees a big hug. Say thank you.

The children's botanical garden is in Albury Botancial Gardens. They are free to visit and open most days, except Wednesdays - unless it's school holidays, or not at all in term 3 when the gardens need to recover from the kids and take a rest. The Albury City Council looks after them, so check there if you are planning a visit and want to make sure they are open.

Have you seen a great children's garden in your travels?

A moment in your day: Swinging

2013-05-09T07:00:00.000+10:00

The topic for the challenge today is very simple; A moment in your day.

If you are a parent, pushing swings can be a common moment in your day.

Your first child might get plonked in a swing really early as you are so keen to try out all your new baby gadgets. Some days you wonder if your child will ever get off the swing. There are moments you try and squeeze your own hips into the narrow bit of space on the swing, only to realise that you really are way to wide for such things. There are moments when you think you just can't push a swing one more day, the boredom will eat you alive.

Then the moments are memories.

Your kids can push themselves.

Unless you build a really big swing - then they still need you for a little bit longer!

Where are you at with your swinging moments these days?

Behind the scenes at a blogger function

2013-05-08T07:00:00.000+10:00

Last week I had a blogger function to attend and it was also the day that Mum was in town and Immy was home from creche so the three of us took off together.

What happens at these things?

Well, mainly bloggers talk. They eat. They check out new products.

For this function we had a look at the new range from Arabella Ramsay for Target. It was cute, but I was a bit confused, they were discussing mothers day items, but I found the new range much more tweeny than Mumsy, maybe I am a bit out dated, but the cuts were narrow, the images disney. There is enough Disney in my house already without me adding it to my own wardrobe.

Cristina Re was a guest speaker and I always love hearing from people who have created their own business. What they did, how they got to the place they are at is always interesting to me. Cristina Re also has a new range available for Target. It was cute, I quite liked it.

The tables were decorated with the Cristina Re stock and finished off with flowers and decorations. Mum loved the painted bird cages with flowers in them so much I think if she had a bag big enough she really would have stolen one. Couldn't keep her eyes off them. I don't know if they came from a florist or from Target, but I know if I find one in a store somewhere I better get one.

Blogger functions are also great for photos. Mainly because I don't take any at all. Good PR chicks know that a professional photographer is a great idea, and that is how I got these top shots.

And when the speakers have finished and we have had our fill of pretty cakes and finger sandwiches we grab our car parking passes and head off home and check instagram to see all the stuff we missed!

Day 7: Blog every day in May: The thing(s) you're most afraid of:

2013-05-07T07:00:00.000+10:00

Look at me go – Day 7 of the 31 Day challenge and I am still keeping up.

There are hundreds of bloggers around the world taking part in the challenge this May and I am betting that any of them that are parents would say the thing they are most afraid of is anything happening to their children. We all want our children to live a harm free, peaceful and healthy existence. We also want to be there to share it with them.

There is nothing I am more afraid of then something happening to the owners of these feet.

But let’s say that you have to discuss the thing you are most afraid of but it CAN NOT relate to your children.

Hmmmmmmmmm

I would hate to have a TV show turn up at my house to surprise me with a prize or something. I would most likely be in my pajamas, there would likely be dishes in the sink and floors that needed cleaning and I wouldn’t have enough milk in the fridge to offer the camera crew a coffee – and the last bottle of wine would probably be sitting empty in the recycle bin*. It would not be a surprise I was happy to receive (unless it was a million dollars - any camera crew is welcome if they have a $1mill).

I also have a problem with throwing myself off a perfectly safe and stable surface. I see no reason for a sane person to jump out of a perfectly good aeroplane, no reason to tie elastic to my ankles and dive head first into a river and no real reason to climb a rock wall that was not meant for walking on only so I can abseil down 1 km of rock face. Afraid - totally.

Would you invite Dr Harry to do a surprise house call at your place, or would you prefer to jump out of a plane? What else are you really afraid of.

*I am not a huge drinker, so we don’t keep much wine in the house, we have no cellar.

If you couldn't answer with your job, how would you answer the question, 'what do you do'?

2013-05-06T10:48:00.003+10:00

I have been stumped in answering this question before.
Mr H and I were on our honeymoon in Borneo. He enjoys diving and we headed out on a boat for the day with some other people. I am not a diver, I am also not really into adventure sports. On this day I was going to be snorkelling above the reef and hopping in and out of the boat, hanging out on an island and pretty much enjoying my day.
Mr H had to team up with someone else and they flipped themselves off the boat in all their tanks and flippers etc. Everyone had a great time. I lost 5 kilos from the fear that I would be eaten by a shark or left to drown out on the reef when I floated too far from the boat, but other than that it was fun.
Then at lunch, the woman who had kindly offered to partner Mr H, and her female companion asked me "So if you don't dive, you don't camp out on mountains like Kota Kinabalu, you don't mountain bike, you don't snow board, what is it exactly that you do - because it doesn't seem like you two are a good match?"
I sat there thinking.
Then I sat there worrying.
I do nothing was all that was going through my head.
Of course I worked, I went to the gym, I went out with friends, I loved books. But that was nothing to these adrenalin junkies backpacking the world. They seemed rather sad for Mr H. He was fun, exciting and wonderful and I was just this little blonde nothing thing.
Eight years later I am much more confident and would probably ask them if they actually had many friends as they didn't seem like the people many others would like to hang around with, and yep, that is probably why your husbands LEFT YOU.

So if they asked me today, I would say:
I like to do little things that make a difference to someones day. I am social. I visit new destinations. I get to know other people and hear about their lives. I am a part of my local community and involved with what's happening. I like to learn new things and read books by new authors. I attend pilates for the injured where women cry at how their bodies are failing them. I dance (around the kitchen). I look after my children and provide them everything they could possibly need and then throw them a fantastic birthday party on top of that. Then I blog the lot.

What about you? What do you do?

This is what makes me uncomfortable

2013-05-04T23:30:00.001+10:00

The question is, what makes you uncomfortable?

The obvious answer for everyone is, bad undies. Undies that are the wrong cut or that give a wedgie. Really pure discomfort.

Or maybe it isn't the obvious answer for you.

There are other times I am uncomfortable.

There are the times I put my jeans in the dryer in a hurry to get them ready to wear out and burn myself with the heat on the steal metal points on the pockets. Yep, that was uncomfortable.

Blood tests are uncomfortable, and even more so when you faint when you have them. This is also uncomfortable if you hit the floor quickly.

Telling the school Mums that you are a blogger. A whatter? That's uncomfortable too. Makes you get all nervous and sweaty and worried they will google you and find all sorts of random stuff you have written and think you are officially crazy.

Public speaking - TOTALLY uncomfortable. Especially if you think the room is full of people that are smarter than you, or worry they will see how nervous you are, your hands shaking and even worse, the thing that makes me really uncomfortable, people asking a question when you are speaking, then again if no one asks a question at question time, the silence is, well uncomfortable.

How do you answer the question: what makes you uncomfortable?

Whimsical is not used enough.

2013-05-03T23:30:00.001+10:00

There are sayings all over the Internet telling you the best way to live. Finding a favourite is impossible, but that is my task for today in the 30 day blogging challenge.

You are likely to have heard some of Mary Oliver's words before, but this is one I like to see pop up.

“You must not ever stop being whimsical. And you must not, ever, give anyone else the responsibility for your life.”

― Mary Oliver, Wild Geese

Now go be a little whimsy!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

How to enable restrictions on an iPod.

2013-05-03T14:52:00.001+10:00

When you work in social media there are lots of questions that come up about online safety. Mainly from parents about protecting their kids.

I am often asked by people if I can provide some assistance with how their children are using social media and I am certainly happy to help.

The absolute first thing I think parents should do before handing over an ipod or a smart phone to a child is this.

Learn how to use it. It really isn't hard. Your small child is teaching themselves how to do it. But if you are not going to learn how to use it then you should at least do this:

GO TO

Settings

General

Restrictions

Enable Restrictions

Then you simply put in a pin number - don't tell your child this number- but if you have a few children you can use the same number or you can use something else (I like something relating to their birthday).

See all those things that say 'ON' you just swipe it with your finger to "OFF".

This will put you back into some level of control about what is going on. This is the area you go to manage what your child can and can't access.

When I "Lock Up" a child's iPod I like to ensure a couple of things are addressed first.

1) Location Services

You don't want your children sharing where they are all the time (if ever) but you do want to be able to find the iPod if they lose it (which is why you should also have the Find My Phone App on the device)

Simply turn on Location Services by swiping to ON - I do this for my own apps all the time. Then go to each thing that you want to turn on and off. You can have some on and some off and pop back and change them whenever you like.

2) Apps

On a child's ipod I would swipe this to OFF

My eldest child is 7, so I have her iPod set at 4+, this means that there are lots of things she can't get access to. Too bad. I have set my nieces iPod to 9+ as she is now 10 years old. This means if they do happen to download anything or access any sites that are not classed as appropriate for children of either 4 or 9 years old, it won't work. I am not going to tell you they haven't tried to get me to change this, they both have. But, I am not budging.

As far as I know, there isn't a single social media app that allows children under 12 to access it. Not Kik, not Keek, not Instagram, not facebook, not Vine...

In the enable restrictions area you can customise quite a bit, very easily, just turn it on or off as you please.

Lastly, to ensure no one in the house gets woken up by overnight messages, in Settings, just hit the Do Not Disturb button on too.

This post was encouraged by the prompt: Educate us on something you know about from Blog Everyday in May

A challenge to myself: Blog everyday in May

2013-05-03T13:28:00.001+10:00

Sometimes I like to give myself a personal challenge. Some of you would make a challenge a physical thing, like run a marathon, which just isn't my thing. Others will find giving something up a challenge, but I find the give up things challenge pretty easy. No alcohol for a month - easy, no chocolate - harder, but still easy. But doing something and staying committed to it every day for a month, I find that really hard. You need to find the time. EVERY DAY.

Anyway, I have decided to give it a go to Blog Every Day in May. But not just any old blogs, I will be following the daily prompts from this list here.

Clearly, I have missed the first few days so I have to make up for them, plus I might have even more to say on some days and actually post twice, which might annoy some of you who think that a blog post from me twice a week is already enough.

But, I am going to give it a try anyway.

Now that you know what I am doing, here is the first challenge: Which is harder than it sounds...250 words is not a lot.

Day 1, Wednesday: The story of your life in 250 words or less (or one paragraph... no one will be counting your words... probably)

I was born in a private Catholic hospital in Melbourne.

My parents moved around a little bit, not for any real reason, just because there were better opportunities, and more fun to be had at the next destination, so I attended four schools in all before I hit university. When I was ten we moved to the country and I had a love hate relationship with it from the start. I hated my new school, but found new friends on the bus, I hated horses, but loved lambing season. I hated being so far from the city but loved the space we had to roam around in.

After uni I headed to the big city and worked in finance marketing for a while, I headed to Europe and backpacked around on my own, then went back again two years later and then went to Ireland for a year to work and play. I just wasn’t all that settled in Melbourne, and probably would have ended up in Europe permanently but by this stage I had also met Mr H. We hooked up, got married, had two kids, got ourselves a picket fence and a mortgage and after working here, there and everywhere I now work for a private Catholic hospital in Melbourne – yes, the very same one!

UNBLOGGED - Anglesea - AUGUST 2013

2013-05-02T17:19:00.000+10:00

We had such a fun time getting unbloggy a couple of months ago that I am organising another weekend.

What is this Unblogged I speak of?

It is a weekend for people interested in blogging and social media in general to meet up and talk all things related to the industry. The weekend is relaxed, it has no meetings to attend, no workshops or seminars. There are no obligations to tweet, instagram, facebook, review or share anything at all.

But you can if you like.

No invitation is required, if you want to meet and hang out with people who love social media, than you are welcome to attend.

You can come on your own, bring a friend, your family, whatever works for you.

Why?

Often bloggers or social media managers (like me) work in teams of one. We work from home or in the back office under the stairs. When we have networking opportunities they are usually sponsored by someone else and can come with obligations. Also, you never know who will be there to chat with and for how long. Other conferences might be more formal with lots of workshops etc. They are also big and can be intimidating for some people. Getting unblogged is just about going away for the weekend and chatting to other like minded people.

Enough with the chatter, just tell me the details.....

This time we are hitting the coast - in Winter.

Friday 9 August and Saturday 10 August 2013
ANGLESEA VICTORIA

Big 4 Anglesea is the place to book.

The phone number is 5263 1640

There are cabins - new and older versions, there are camping spots and jumping pillows. There is a pool and there are kangaroos.

When you call to book in, you can ask to speak to Jess or tell them you are after the Unblogged Group Package:

Two nights in a 2 bedroom unit for a family of four - $270
Two nights in a 3 bedroom unit for a family of 6 - $350

Camping does not have a two night minimum, it is $40 for 2 people and $10
extra per person OR a package: Two nights on a powered site for up to 6 people $90.

Depending on what you prefer, there is a facebook group or a Google + group that you can join to keep up with all the news, connect with others or discuss any issues. Otherwise, just leave a comment and I will answer any questions.

Hope to see you there!

Calling the favourites

2013-05-01T21:21:00.001+10:00

There isn't a lot of stuff on the box that I just really love to watch. There is nothing that I miss and must try and catch up on at another time.

Except for Call the Midwife.

Every now and then a show comes along that I just fall in love with. They are shows that I want other people to watch with me, but at the same time, I don't want anyone to talk in case I miss a single second of the story.

I love any show that tells me a bit about history from a personal point of view, with characters that I think I would have liked to have been friends with. Stories that make me think about how I would have handled a situation had I been placed in the world at that precise point in time. Just what would life be like post war, in hard economic times minus the technology that we now consider so very basic, like constant to water. I love the one liners that are smart and fun from Trixy, how Jenny is so contained when you know she is so shocked at the situation and how the nuns are able to surprise you with their solutions to find the best ending.

Mix all this with actors that seem born to play the parts, costumes that represent the time accurately and I am hooked. I watch each Sunday night and it feels like I am catching up with my new friends. Then the series ends.

There is a big sigh from me and a simple hope that the series will return another day. I don't go and buy the DVD box set because even when I love the show, I have seen it.

The void needs to be filled with books instead. I have never been a part of a book club, but I just finished a book and all I could think afterwards was "what would I have done? " and "why was that particular story line a part of the story, it could have been totally left out and the book would have been just the same?". I would have really liked to have had a few others to chat to about the book, to know if they enjoyed it as I did and what they think they would have done. The book is called The Husbands Secret by Liane Moriarty, and if you are a part of a book club, it's an easy read that has some twists and turns along the way, could be a fun one to discuss.

Are you in a bookclub or are such things way too dorky for you. Are you too cool for Call the Midwife or do you love it like I do?

Posted with Blogsy

The Life of an Underwear Model.

2013-04-29T18:04:00.000+10:00

This is a sponsored post.

Mr H continues to be surprised at where this blogging caper will take not only me, but him too. One day he is mowing the lawn, the next I am asking if he wants to change our plans for the weekend. Initially he wasn't sure, things were planned and people were organised but it seems the people over at Berlei HQ have decided that photoshopped models are not always the best people to tell Ms Average how a product works. In fact, Ms Average might be able to road test a product for the market instead.

A road test is of course best completed on a road trip, or in the words from the Berlei HQ PR Team: "Your Ultimate Night Out".

Berlei asked me to take my very own Ultimate Night Out, but the catch was I had to do it in the new Berlei Dig Free range of undergarments.

Considering we already had plans for the weekend, we did initially say no, but then Mr H and I agreed, as I am trying to be more spontaneous, trying to say YES to good things and making an effort to ensure I grab all the good bits out of life, we got on the phone, re-arranged everyone and called in the in-laws to baby sit.

We are not very fussy people and with only 24 hours to finalise bookings we left the arrangements up to the Berlei PR crew with the only instructions being that we needed a hotel and tickets to the comedy festival. They also organised and booked in a dinner reservation for us. We actually didn't really make any decisions other than the date we wanted to go! A surprise night.

The hotel was fine, no complaints but nothing spectacular, the dinner was fabulous. We dined in Flinders Lane at Terra Rosa, what a great spot, so happy we now know it is there. We lashed out on meals that we wouldn't usually splurge on, prawns, pork belly, swordfish and steak, but I had a job to do, I needed to check how comfy the Dig Free stockings really were. Some things can only be tested on a fully bloated tummy. Would they stay true to their advertising word and make me feel fabulous and comfortable?

I washed my enormous meal down with a drink called "Them Apples", possibly the best drink ever, a cocktail of vodka and cloudy apple juice, with cinnamon and apples in it. It was more than worthy of instagramming, but the night was too good to bother with the virtual world.

We rolled out the door and across the street to Arj Barker, playing at the Comedy Festival, me still very comfy in my underwear and very thankful they were not some kind of spanx corset stockings, there really was no space left, but with no real waistband, there was no rolly bit that was hanging out here there and everywhere.

Arj Barker served us an hour of laughs. Mr H even saying he was laughing so much at one stage that his face contorted into his "ugly face" - that one where your mouth drops open, your eyes squish up and your breathing goes funny so no sound is coming out of your mouth. Good times even if it isn't a great look.

I tried to get a decent photo, I tried to be the type of model that shows how a garment looks, but it was night time, the lights of the city mucked up the lighting and really we were just enjoying the night too much to stop and click. This means I don't have any glam shots of me swanning around in my underwear for you. Sorry. (Not really, you should probably thank me)

But the test is simply this: Would I buy the Dig Free Stockings?

I would. They are priced at $19.95 which is the same price as another brand I often buy. They are also MUCH cheaper than the leggings I have bought in recent years and so so much more comfortable. As a Melbourne person, I wear black boots pretty much six months of the year and these stockings were great. I am not a huge fashionista, I dress for comfort and anything that fits in a mummy tummy with a smile rather than a seam works for me.

It seems clear that for me, people I love, good laughter, food, and Them Apples make up my ultimate date night.

But the fun needs to be shared around!

Maybe it is because they are all in comfy underwear and not getting their knickers in a knot, but the Berlei HQ team are also giving everyone else a chance to win too.

They want you to answer this question:

Share how you make yourself feel like a ‘desirable woman’ to win: "The Ultimate Date Night" – dinner for two, one night’s stay in a hotel, limo transfers, and Berlei Dig Free product"

The competition will be run across a few blogs. Click around the bloggy traps and you can enter at each site (there will be one winner only)

Competition Fine Print:

1) Leave a comment on this post to be in the draw to win

2) Comments open Monday 29 April and close midnight Monday 20 May 2013

3) Only Australian residents are eligible to enter

4) Judges decision is final.
5) You can enter as many times as you like
7) Winner will be the one person who entertains the judges the most.

Go ahead, get comfy, leave a comment.

This Mother's Day - I don't want a rubber toy.

2013-04-23T22:48:00.001+10:00

As a blogger who has been tap tap tapping away at the keyboard for a million years now (that is true, as far as bloggers go I am pretty much dinosaur status) I get some fabulous emails with opportunities and suggestions and things for me to blog about.

Mother's Day has been fabulous this year. Fabulous in the "are you serious? I have no interest in THAT" I have been invited to a range of functions to celebrate being a mother and received a stack of media releases about products I could write about. I could tell you about baby wearing, baby advice, cooking utensils, flowers, chocolates...

Problem is none of the products/services/companies have actually worked out what Mums really want.

And that's ok.

They are flogging their wares as much as the next person. I am a marketer, I know about flogging wares.

Tonight I received an email telling me the top ten things that a MUM TO BE would want (and that is certainly not me, no, no no).

But here is the suggestion for number 7.

Do you see that. A Mum to be would really like a plastic giraffe named Sophie for Mother's Day.

REALLY???

No. She really wouldn't.

She might like quite a bit of stuff. But not Sophie. She might like dinner out somewhere, she might like to have a pedicure for her swollen feet, she might like to have some new massive big comfy undies that fit her belly into them. A mum to be might like to sit and watch DVDs all day. She might like to sleep in before her baby arrives. Ms Mum To Be may like a good novel, a stack of trashy magazines, or some new shoes. She might love a new handbag. Perhaps some jewels. She might like yet another Elk Necklace for her collection (Hint hint Mr H if you are reading).

I don't really know what she would want. All I know is she doesn't want Sophie - even though Sophie is chewed on by all the uber cool babies (not mine) - can't someone give that to the baby when it arrives?

Or, am I wrong, if you were a Mum to be, would you want to receive Sophie as a gift to celebrate Mother's Day - do/did you even get to celebrate Mother's Day before the baby arrives?

10 silly things to do with your kids today.

2013-04-23T07:42:00.000+10:00

It is so easy to get caught up on the road of being a "good" parent. The path to being a responsible adult is filled with do's and don'ts and things that you should avoid for the benefit of your children. Most of the things are not much fun.

Today I have a list of 10 things for you to do. Things you probably don't do often enough, but sometimes life is for saying yes. With or without kids, there is something on this list you can do today.

1 - Get out an ink pad or some paints and get the hand prints and footprints of everyone in the family. Use a scrap book, a photo album, some scrap paper. Make them into cards for people or throw them in the bin. Don't get all fussy about how messy it gets or worry about what you are doing it for.

2 - Drive home from school pick up a different way and stop at a park. Tell the kids they can play until THEY are ready to go. Be prepared, this might be quite some time, but if you don't take snacks and drinks they will be ready to go sooner. Have a go on the swings yourself or try even better, see if you can get across the monkey bars.

3 - Place a marshmallow or some chocolate chips on everyone's dinner plate and refrain from saying "Eat Your Veggies First."

4 - Watch a movie together. On a school night.

5 - Eat dinner on a blanket on the lounge room floor.

6 - Read at least two extra stories at bedtime - their choice.

7 - Dance as a family in the kitchen when you are preparing dinner. Music loud, dance moves bad, smiles big. (This can also be better than going to the gym, dancing burns lots of calories)

8 - Jump in the car and head to a drive thru and get everyone a soft serve ice cream.

9 - Make a tent under the kitchen table, sit in there too and talk to your kids - do not take your smart phone in there with you.

10 - If it's raining where you are, go splash in those puddles, kick water at the kids, they will be so shocked. It won't hurt any of you to get a little wet. It might make you laugh a lot.

Let me know what else is silly that you have been throwing into the mix lately.

What I do with the kids artwork.

2013-04-20T07:25:00.000+10:00

Kids drawings are so fun. When your child first starts drawing you try and keep so many bits of paper and 'art work'. Then soon enough you take a few secret trips to the big wheely bin outside. Every Mum soon learns that artwork that goes in the bin inside might be pulled back out again by an eager artist who REALLY LOVES THIS ONE.

I use big pieces of kinder paintings for wrapping paper, some special pieces get made into birthday cards and some make it to a folder with plastic pockets - one folder per year.

Others I just take a photo of and if you do a photobook with your family photos it is fun to add in a few artwork photos too.

I think T-Rex in leopard print undies will be in the next photobook I make up.

What other things do you do with your artwork?

It's been six months

2013-04-18T22:21:00.002+10:00

Six whole months since I had lunch with my Dad.

The picture of him standing at the doorway to the car park as I waved is so clear. I can smell the wool of his jumper.

He was looking so thin. I never mentioned it to him. He knew the weight was falling off him, over 25 kilos in a couple of months is not something you can ignore, but there wasn't much we could all do about it.

The place where we sat and had lunch that day, the cafe within the building that I work, I found it hard to walk past those seats some days. Sometimes other people were sitting in them. Other people just like us, one a patient, the others the family and friends of that person. I wanted to go up and whisper to them to run away.

I wanted to whisper, "get out of here, you don't have much time". But that is my story. Their story, it's on another track, a different time, a different history. They still have the one ingredient everyone needs in life. They have hope.

My Dad died with Hope.

On the inside he would have known that his body was winning. He had discussed with Mum that he was not to be resuscitated if the option was given. But he was planning on fighting, to prove the doctors wrong. He asked the doctor to get him well enough to take one trip, just one three week trip that he really wanted to do. The doctor simply said "I will do everything I can". Together they had a plan, the main ingredient in that plan was Hope. It just wasn't to be.

My Dad now has a plaque where he is buried but I am yet to see it. I went to town but I didn't have any time to myself. Some things I need to do by myself. To take the time I need and not have anyone talk to me. Talking can be so loud sometimes.

One day I got sent some Chia Seeds in the mail*. Mum and I really laughed at them sitting there on my bench. Years ago we gave Dad a hard time about spending a fortune on a massive bag of chia seeds. He had laughed back at us telling us how they are a super food, a food that wards off disease. Stupid chia seeds. I threw them in the bin, because disease is evil, it picks people at random and attacks without mercy, no amount of chia seeds can keep it at bay or maybe disease loves chia seeds, maybe the amyloids grew so fast because he had too much chia in his body.

The last six months have seen me experience anxiety like I never knew existed, I’ve begun grinding my teeth and managed to lose weight while cancelling my gym membership. I have learnt about probate and passwords and insomnia.

During the late nights when the world is asleep I have listened very carefully to see if my Dad was talking to me. I have spent hours on real estate websites seeking out a dwelling or location that has some kind of magic power to make everything feel ok. I’ve sought a place that I could move to where things will feel better. A place to run away to, a house surrounded by big trees that have fairies living in them who make everything wonderful.

That place doesn’t seem to exist, and if it does, the truth is, that my pain will follow me there.

In the daytime I have been splashed with kindness from people in so many ways. I have been given random gifts of lovely and felt support from the least expected places.

And life, it continues to move at the most rapid of paces. Those seats we ate our last lunch at; they are gone now. Replaced with builders and hard hat signs for renovations and extensions. The veggie crops Dad planted have been harvested, eaten and cleared away. The grandkids have all celebrated another birthday, we have made it through Easter and Christmas and Mums 60^th.

One night months ago I got a tweet from someone with two simple words.

Hold Tight.

Most days, that is all you can do. Just Hold Tight. Ride out the storm. Fill that black hole in your heart with busy and when you can’t just hold on. Hold on to your kids, hold on to your husband, or your family and when they are not there, reach out for your friends and hold on to them. Life sweeps you along the rest of the way…even when you never eat the chia seeds.

* I get random items in the mail from time to time from companies wanting me to discuss their products on social media.

One time, at Target, I saw a Lion in the towel aisle

2013-04-16T21:03:00.000+10:00

This post is sponsored by Target.

One of the things every Domestic Goddess Failure needs to accept, is that no matter how much you complain, or how badly you do your tasks, THE TOWELS WILL STILL NEED WASHING.

LOTS OF TOWELS.

As a family of four people and two bathrooms I seem to wash 98 towels a week. Way too many. Recently I was having a little Mummy Tantrum and fuming away about no one picking up towels, do we all really need a fresh towel every day, whose towel is this sitting in a festering pile in the laundry.

It was clear no one was listening to me and I needed a new strategy.

Considering they are not allowed to use the washing machine nor can they reach the washing line, I couldn't really make up a cleaning roster.

Always ready to perform.
Last year's The Lion King costume is still worn regularly.

But I could devise my own plan, which of course isn't really my plan at all, I stole it from a friend who was telling me the story years ago at a dinner with lots of wine. We got talking about some of the things her Mum did as a single Mum to 5 kids after her father decided five kids was actually more than he cared to be around.

Each of the five kids had a colour. Particularly for towels. If red towel was on the floor, in a bedroom or anywhere it shouldn't be hanging than that particular child would be called upon.

So off we went to get some Target Towels.

There was a fight over who would get the hot pink towel so the new rule was made - no one gets hot pink.

Immy picked dark purple, Popps picked mustard yellow. Mr H got given a navy and I am sticking with the white ones at home.

Stacks of colours for everyone.

Two weeks in to my new rule and it is working really well.

The girls have one towel each and every night it stands out very clearly who has not hung their towel back in the bathroom. If they want to wash in the other bathroom they must go and get their towel first - or run dripping and cold through the house to go and get it (OK, so I usually end up having to do this bit...not the running around naked part, that wouldn't be very good).

There is one downfall - you can't wash your white towels with your purple or mustard or navy ones!

Do you have a way of keeping the towel washing under control?

Asking for ideas: What do you take people staying in hospital for weeks on end?

2013-04-15T12:03:00.003+10:00

Remember Max? Beautiful Max.

Max is having a tough time this year, he is back in hospital again and this means his Mum is there too.

We don't know Max's family very well, we chat at creche pick ups and wave in the street, we are friendly when we see each other, but Max's Mum is flat out looking after him, his big sister and the new baby, she has no spare time for lunch and play dates, especially when Max is not well, and of course Max isn't at creche when he is unwell so we don't run into them.

For now, Max's Mum is sleeping on a fold out bed and eating from the takeaway shops at the Royal Children's Hospital, staying with Max all the time. I can't imagine how tough this is on the rest of the family. Family meals and school drop offs, relying on a strict roster to keep everyone's needs met, tough days.

They don't know me well enough to ask for my help, but that doesn't mean I can't offer something.

Taking in chocolates is probably the last thing she wants.

But I would like to drop off a package. Something that might pass the time, even if just for a moment.

Where do you begin?

Food, magazines, toys, get well cards? I am looking for ideas, tips from other parents that have walked the halls of hospitals for weeks at a time and eaten through the entire menu until a chicco roll looks like a good option. What would you have loved someone, anyone, to deliver?

Would my awful cooking be better than hospital food?

It's Official: I am Average

2013-04-11T14:15:00.003+10:00

According to those highly intelligent and very exciting people to sit next to at a dinner party - the statisticians - I am officially average.

Woman - check
Mother - check
Of Two children - check
Lives in Melbourne or Sydney suburbs - check
Has a mortgage on a house - check
Aged 37 - check.
Sales Assistant - not quite, but I work in Marketing so it is close.

And this is what Ms Average looks like - (that's me in the navy) Nami who is beside me is also a mother of two and happens to have her own blog, and runs a photography business, and a home based sales business...that lady is busy, so maybe she is far from average cos she is amazing...)

Interesting that the people over at News.com.au found this lovely woman to be average.

She is rather pretty, yes?

So I guess it is beside the point that she isn't actually 37, that she is NOT a mum, and she has a mortgage on a Unit, not a house...but hey, she looks good.

Average has always been considered such a mediocre place to be. I am not sure if I am all that happy to be average. But it is what it is.

Anyone else out there as average as me? Do you think news.com.au could have looked harder for Ms Average?

Sometimes you know you are not the favouite child

2013-04-10T07:24:00.000+10:00

My parents never had favourites.

They treated us all pretty much the same and still do. But I think if Mum was writing her Will today my name might be at the bottom.

Mr H, the girls and I went for a visit on the weekend, we did a range of things and fired up the commercial coffee machine from when Mum had the tea rooms open at her place. The last time we did that we forgot to turn it off when we left. Opps.

This time I made sure it was turned off properly and even turned it off at the switch. Power Saver Crusader that I am.

But apparently that was also the switch to the spare fridge which was piled high with meat and groceries.

Apparently the smell of the meat going off in the fridge had quite the stench. It could have been enough to make a weak stomach hurl chunks.

I admitted it was me when the conversation of "Who Would TURN OFF THE FRIDGE" began.

And it might just be for the day, but I am pretty sure for now, I am certainly not the favourite child.

Have you ever accidentally written yourself out of the Will for the day?

Sometimes I am an early adopter. Just not with Fashion.

2013-04-08T20:14:00.001+10:00

There are some things that I am considered an early adopter of. Social media things, gadgets, apps, different foods, all sorts of things really, I like to try new stuff and in some ways this makes me a marketers dream, my loyalty to a brand is very fickle.

There is one thing in particular that I am not an early adopter of.

Fashion.

I am pretty sure you can consider me a conservative dresser. I love me a bit of navy and white. In winter I adore a roll neck woollen jumper. I am very partial to a puffy vest, despite many a fashionista telling me they are awful.

I was slow to jump on the skinny leg jean band wagon and I loudly and strongly shared my views on coloured jeans, declaring them only fit for people whose legs were under 16. There were some who agreed with me and together we publicly scoffed at this new trend that would be a mere flash in the pain. A waste of money when next year the coloured jean would be a laugh at what was so 2012.

But here I am. Still not sure what to wear with them. Still not sure they will get too much wear.

But the coloured jean has adorned my butt.

I asked Popps to take a picture of me in the new threads while I sat watching today's money bar technique, this seemed to be the best shot she could get.

Any other conservative dressers out there? Lovers of turtle necks, puffy vests, navy and white or a crisp black suit?

Am I the last person in Australia to wear some coloured jeans?

Slow down little girls, slow down.

2013-04-05T11:57:00.000+11:00

Popps had the school disco in the last week of term, it is the highlight of her year at the moment and considering she really does have a very active social life this is saying something, her party invites weigh down the fridge while the rest of the family watches TV on Saturday nights (and most other nights too if I think about it).

The disco outfit last year was chosen by me. It was put on and worn without much discussion, we were pretty much on the same fashion line.

This year she requested a pair of ripped denim shorts, suggesting that if I couldn't find any we could just cut her jeans up, the more threads the better.

Um. No.

There are some things I am just too conservative to allow and 7 year olds in ripped jeans hits my limits.

Eventually we compromised on an outfit and then the weather turned cold and we had 30 minutes to discuss a new option, to get dressed and arrive at the disco after I picked her up from Out of School Care.

While I fumbled around for the coins she needed (glowstick purchases are a highlight of such an event) she painted on her lip smackers, around 47 times. She also painted her nails and then requested her most favourite of hairstyles - the side pony.

As we raced from the car to the gym I asked her to stop for me to get a photo to send to Mr H, in return I got eye rolling and a refusal to stop.

An hour and a half later she exited the disco with a glowstick necklace around her neck, a headband lost never to be seen again, in one hand she held the hand of another little girl and in both their other hands they held their denim skirts, because apparently Gangnam Style is impossible to dance to with restrictive skirts your mother makes you wear.

Slow down little girls.

Slow down.

Dot points and lists

2013-04-04T13:30:00.000+11:00

The long weekend is officially over.

I know this because my laundry told me so, but there was quite a bit that happened during the past week.

When time is short, lists and dot points are ALWAYS good. This is actually a trick I use for work too. Have you any idea how hard it is to get professional people like doctors and lawyers and finance types to stop work and write some information for you about what they do. IMPOSSIBLE! If you work in Marketing, here is my hot tip - Tell them you want them to write in dot points. Busy people can do dot points really quickly. Doctors can do dot points between patients, lawyers do dot points on a sticky note.

And marketing people do dot points on blogs.

In no particular order, over the last week I have:

- Been stung by one bee
- Used one enormous power tool and may have blown half the garden through my Mum's kitchen window
- Eaten 4 kgs of chocolate
- NOT drunk a single glass of Baileys even though I intended too.
- Attended one 8 year old party
- Had two physio treatments and joined the "Dodgy Backs Inc" Pilates class
- Lost two drink bottles
- Found one drink bottle at the physio
- Driven through two national parks
- Woken up to the sound of Kookaburras and Kangaroo poo in the garden.
- Cried once
- Published NINE blog posts in one day
- Eaten two green cupcakes for morning tea
- Read a Donna Hay magazine - not for the articles because there are none, just for the pictures.

How about you? Got a dot points list from the weekend?