As the Bobbin Winds

Marshmallow Time

2012-03-11T19:21:00.001-07:00

You know how little kids are sweetest before the tiredness sets in? Then the sweet little angels turn into crabby little monsters until sleep grants blessed relief from the tiredness, crying, and pent up frustration?

That's marshmallow time--the sweet part before the meltdown.

It's amazing how first impressions can be so warped by emotional circumstance.

Earlier, I posted about a bride who, in a single 22 minute phone call where she vented about planning her wedding, I recorded the bridezilla-esque statements she made.

I briefly posted my response to her constant nagging.

Last week, she came with her 4 bridesmaids to get their dresses fit, and it was like a different person walked in the door. Calm, relaxed, understanding, and finally seeing that the tragedy of the euro-greenish-gray* too big** dresses was more palatable with the slight adjustment of exceptions.

She was, dare I say, delightful. It was encouraging to see another side of her.

Fast forward a week--and she's back to the prickly state she was in the first fitting. Again, I am so sorry that you got screwed on your save the dates. I'm sorry you got ripped off on your veil. Hell, I'm sorry that you got the wrong dipping sauce for your chicken nuggets back in 1998. Focus on what we're working to fix.

This wedding party has really made me think. They have all been really difficult and needy, have shown up without setting appointments, and have taken over my home for much longer than necessary.

I am starting to think that this is no longer worth it--the constant appointments, the stress of working extra hours, and mostly the unfair burden that is placed on my husband. He has been so wonderful and selfless when it comes to the constant parade of brides through our living room, but it's starting to become to much.

I love the work. I love meeting with people. I love making a dress into something real and specific for one person. I love the stories.

But I love my husband more.

Maybe marshmallow time for me is over.

*Euro-gray sounds very similar to Earl Grey, which was the actual color of the dress. I can easily see the misunderstanding, but dude. You signed off on it. Read your paperwork.

**Too big is a relative term. When you fit something to a standard size, you need to go with the largest measurements. So someone who wears a size 6 on top but 12 on the bottom will need to order a 12.

On one hand, I feel terrible.

2012-02-28T19:55:00.001-08:00

I need to listen to my instincts. Also, I hate e-mail.

First, there were 3 help me e-mails.

Then there was an appointment. After arriving 10 minutes late for her fitting with her fitting, taking her sweet time trying on her dress, she informs me that she cannot commit to alterations without her mother seeing it.

This is important and I understand completely. The real question is "why did you waste an hour of my time." Was it to complain about a bridal store I have never even heard of much less am affiliated? Sure.

I then get an e-mail saying she is buying another dress. Based on her reaction last week, I think she's making the right move.

Also, an e-mail asking if she can set up an appointment for bridesmaid A. Also with complains about how the aforementioned bridal store ordered the wrong dress/color/size/etc.

Another asking if she could set up one for B, C, and D.

Another asking if they have appointments scheduled. (By the way, did you know this bridal store is evil?)

Another asking why.

And then:

"I hope you can keep them all at $xx.xx with the exception of the purple and V's since she's a student. I hope you understand this was all so unexpected to us and I cannot understand why they ordered the dresses so big. Once more thank you."

The most frustrating alteration is one where the bride, bridesmaid, etc. hates the dress from the start. Sometimes it's a fit issue. Sometime it's wrong color. Sometimes it's the dress that your younger, prettier friend has chosen that is absolutely the wrong shape for your body, a terrible color, and makes you feel old, fat, and extra single.

I am not proud of my reply. Also, it was a schooch cold.

"I will do my best to keep them all at $x. I am sorry you had a bad experience with the bridal shop. However, I need to remind you that I am in no way affiliated with them and cannot be held financially responsible for their mistake. I will do my best to keep costs down; however, I need to be paid for the work I do."

I am not very proud of this reply, and I feel terrible that it was worded in a way that my original intention (a heads up that I will do my best to keep costs down and a reminder that I am not affiliated with the evil store) was misinterpreted as an attack on her intention to pay. For that, I feel terrible.

However, I also have no regrets about explaining the pricing and reminding her I am not the bad guy. Maybe this week has left me a little cold hearted, but I am not willing to lower my fee because save the dates were too expensive.

I also can't figure out why I'm posting something that makes me feel so terrible. Is it because the week as a whole has been awful? Will writing it make it more real? Will I be proud to have said what I think is right or regret this?

Instincts, next time you need to connect with my backbone and not the softhearted side. I'll consider this post a small step.

The Dog Peed on the Dress

2012-02-22T18:03:00.001-08:00

At the appointed hour, I listen.

I listen closely for the usual sounds. A car pull up. A door slam. A second door. Do I go outside and greet them immediately? Do I allow them time to gather themselves and greet them as they approach, or does my doorbell need a workout? I wait.

The normal amount of time it takes to approach passes. Curious, I decide to brave the “cold” (50 degrees at night is cold when a coat is not an option). I find the trio still at the hatchback of an SUV, two inside and one outside. I greet the matron of honor, who is standing outside with a look that can only be described as a cross between horror and sheer amusement.

She leans over and whispers to me, “The dog peed on the dress."

More accurately, the tiny, deer-faced chihuahua puppy dog peed on the plastic garment bag that was over the plastic bag that held the dress. The poor thing sat there, shaking like a quivering aspen in the summertime, terrified of the dark or the cold or unfamiliarity of the place. Nothing but 25 minutes of sheer coddling could calm her down to a baseline state of nervous.

Some would say the puppy peed out of fear. To others, the puppy was expressing her of sheer dislike of being drug out of the warm house on a Tuesday night when a brand new episode of the Voice was on.

I think we all know the truth.

Pure Comic Gold

2012-02-21T19:37:00.003-08:00

I received no fewer than three phone calls and four emails from a bride today. Her last call consisted of a 21 minute tirade about the terrible service she received from a bridal store in town who not only screwed up her dress order but also her save the date cards.

I personally am dying to know which bridal store specializes in dresses AND paper goods.

The conversation included the following phrases:
"Doesn't she know save the date cards should never have the location? Everyone knows that!"
"She ordered $300 worth of save the dates without asking! I don't have that kind of money!"
"She never ordered fabric for my sleeves. I need my princess sleeves!"
"My wedding is supposed to be aubergine and charcoal, and the dresses showed up eggplant. Eggplant!"
"She wouldn't even turn on the lights and sent me out with a fabric swatch that was more green than gray!"
"I'm only planning the most important day of my life!"
"What kind of person purposely ruins other people's lives like this!"

Poor girl.

On one hand my instincts say "Run! Run as fast as you can!" On the other, the poor girl just needs someone to talk her down from the ledge. I'm taking my chances on this one.

Hopefully the dramatic wailing will subside by Thursday.

What Your Mother Doesn't Know...

2012-02-21T13:12:00.001-08:00

Saturday, I had a mother of the bride pick up some alterations a week after her daughter's wedding. I had worked with the family through the pre-wedding period, altering several suits, bridesmaid dresses, mother of the bride dress, and the wedding gown.

She excitedly showed me pictures of the big weekend, including pictures from the mani/pedi party the night before the wedding. One picture she showed me me was of her daughter, the bride, pulling out a bottle of sparkling cider with a label on in proclaiming "Baby V due in August!"

The mother of the bride said she almost dropped her phone. Her daughter's pregnancy was a complete (and happy!) suprise for her.

Not for me. The now Mrs. V had shared that with me in her first fitting about 7 weeks ago, just 2 days after she had found out she was expecting. Ironically, this is not the first time someone has confided this secret to me. It is one of the best perks of the job, and a perk that comes my way often. I have quite a well known knack for maternity alterations.

There is something really special about knowing a happy secret about a stranger, and it is doubly wonderful hearing the happiness from both sides.

Holy Cow!

2012-02-07T12:59:00.001-08:00

It's that time of year again.

The school year is in full swing, and a certain production of "Click Clack Moo: Cows that Type" is scheduled to hit the road in less than one month.

I love designing clothing for children's theatre. During the dark, dank days of winter when the thought of taking your wedding portraits under a heavy, wet canopy of clouds turns many a bride from scheduling that February* wedding, making costumes for light, happy tap dancing cows and prissy opera diva chickens lights up the dreariness.

Here is a preview of my designs and fabric. Check back for updates on the construction process and learn how one makes a chicken polonaise. At the very least, my way of making a chicken polonaise.

Also, check out the video that inspired the chicken's look.

*that's right. Screw you, Valentines Day. I don't care if you're romantic. You are not picturesque.)

Paid in Pancakes

2011-08-06T14:55:00.006-07:00

Earlier this summer I altered a dress for a lovely older woman who was celebrating her 50th wedding anniversary. I'm a sucker for stories, and hers really touched my heart.

She told me about how she and her husband had been through so much together, especially in the last 10 years--the tragic death of their adult son, her battle with breast cancer, her husband's battle with diabetes that had made him wheelchair bound, and all the financial struggles that came along with it. She was nearly in tears when she told me how much it meant to her that they had made it to this milestone.

She had me tearing up right along with her in the fitting. When it came to discussing the cost of the alterations, I couldn't help but offer to do them at no cost to her.

It merely cost me my time. Don't get me wrong--my time is very valuable. In this case, however, the kindness I was able to offer was worth so much more.

I received a kind card in the mail a few days later from her thanking me profusely. Inside, she included a gift certificate to a waffle house ( mind you, not THE Waffle House--I'll have to wait until my next trip out East.) I still get a little misty eyed thinking about it.

Today, on my husband and my first anniversary, we were able to take advantage of her kindness. Best damn pancakes ever. Seriously.

Oh, and the warm and fuzzy feeling that this story fills me with isn't so bad either.

Haute mess

2011-08-01T10:54:00.002-07:00

Today's project:

Take in at side seams, hem, bustle, and alter the sleeves (which are currently altered and done. These are a story for another day.)

The bride who brought me this dress was so excited about her experience at a haute couture botique in San Fransisco. She went on and on about how wonderful it was not to have to shop at a place like (gasp!) David's Bridal, and how lucky she was to have a custom design

I am fascinated by the world of couture (by definition, the business of designing, making, and selling highly fashionable, usually custom-made clothing for women.) Would I say this dress is worthy of the distinction of haute couture? No.

My understanding of haute couture is that it is the highest form of fashion forward dressmaking and fine sewing. Perhaps I don't have my ear to the ground when it comes to fashion, but I can recognize crap work when I see it.

I am actually appalled by some of the techniques used on this dress. There are 3 different kinds of linings used. Is it typical to mix up the type of lining for different parts? Yes. But the combination of types of fabrics and colors (yes, you see that right, colors) really makes it look like they grabbed up some scraps from the floor to finish off the different parts. It makes my artistic sensibilities ache.

This is one of the bra pads:

That's kinda gross.

And finally, the straw that broke the camels back (aka, the part of the dress that inspired me to write this), the hemline in the front has lace applique.

Pretty, right? (note--I have hemmed the under layer, and am now altering the top layer to work with it.) But is it symmetrical? Nope.

To me, one of the hallmarks of great work is when things line up and follow a logical symmetry (unless, of course, the dress is not intended to have that quality.) This dress is hot mess of asymmetrical trim, seams not lining up, different measurements, messing sewing, and very odd (and sloppy) fabric choices. Suffice to say, I am a fan of patterns, symmetry, and neatness.

Am I being judgemental? Absolutely! It's one of the most fun parts of doing bridal alterations! You get to see the beautiful! The ugly! The questionable!

Does it matter in the grand scheme of things? Hell no! The dress is exactly what the bride wants to wear on her special day. Symmetry be damned!

Reason #5329 not to buy a knock off dress on e-bay.

2011-06-16T19:09:00.001-07:00

It smells like cat piss.

It doesn't smell like cat piss initially. When you first see it, it is a vision in shiny satin fabric that has the same basic style lines as the dress you tried on at the store. As your vision clears, the shiny fabric takes on a too shiny, polyester* glow.

And then you notice the cheap beading. And the side seams which don't quite meet up.

When does the magic truely meld? When you first take out and iron to press out a seam you have just sewn. Nasty.

The extra crappy part--polyester doesn't respond well to steaming. So I was lucky enough to spend 45 golden minutes reveling in the sweet smell of urine, as if your dear cat had pissed all over the golden pillow it sits atop and then left it in the sun all day.

*Why does polyester seem to glow, you ask? It's all about how the filament (thread) is created. Poly(many) ester (basic organic chemical compound) is made by mixing petroleum by products, coal byproducts, air and water and then taking the vat of chemical-ly goodness and shooting it out into one smooth fiber. The smoothenss of the surface of the filament (which is very non-porous, which is one of the reasons it doesn't breath. You know, that whole "oil and water don't mix" thing) gives it a glow that is not replicated in natural fibers.

I'm not a chemist, so if you want to know more, check with the experts. This is a great overview: http://www.madehow.com/Volume-2/Polyester.html.

Vanity by the numbers

2011-05-31T07:53:00.001-07:00

Two mama stories:

Yesterday, I had a mother of the groom bring a dress over for a consult. She had "ordered a 12" but she swore it was "more like an 11." However, "I'm usually a 16, but thought I could make it to at least a 14" by the time this wedding came along. She wanted to know if putting a corset back into the dress was a) a possibility; and b) if it would look good.

I have time this week (thank you, summer!) so yes, it's a possibility, but to be perfectly honest, any corseting below the waistline would look like she bought a dress that was too small and was trying to make do. She agreed, and I have never been so happy to see someone head off into the sunset with her feet firmly planted in reality.

The worst client I've ever had was a mother of the bride who I'm sure has not been ever told no in her life. I always find it so strange when I meet someone who is old enough to be my mother has the maturity level of someone in middle school. Perhaps it speaks volumes about my state of mind that I equate immaturity with spoiled, but this woman seemed to encompass both traits.

"I'm a size 18 on top and a size 12 on the bottom, so I ordered a 14." This math does not equate. I explained everything I could do to make it fit better, and suggested that she perhaps re-evaluate her choice. "I'm a 12, so a 14 should certainly fit."

So after approximately 24 hours of work, 6 (yes, that's right, SIX as opposed to 2 - 3) appointments, she sat in my office crying because I had ruined her dress, ruined the wedding, and ruined any chance for her to have a decent picture of her and her daughter on her wedding day. (On a redeeming note, her daughter also brought me her dress and wished me luck dealing with her mom.)

Altering clothing does not equal plastic surgery. If you have little chicken wing folds on your armpits and you have not purchased a dress to cover that, I can't fix it. I can't magically make more fabric appear.

To hell with sizes. Buy what fits--and when in doubt, but a size larger.

Hiatus, Day 1

2011-05-26T19:11:00.000-07:00

Ahh, my first day of summer hiatus from the university. A date with a hammock, a margarita, and Vogue magazine, right? Not this time. Here are some stats from Day 1.

Start time: 6:40 a.m.

Break (ironically, to go to work at the university): 11:30 - 1:30

End time: After my 7 pm appointment gets here....eventually. This one is not so good at being on time.

Total Appointments: 5

Drop offs: 4

Pickup: 1 (I hope---that's what my 7 pm...should she choose to show up...will be...)

Full dresses altered: 3

Partial alterations: 1

Number of new appointments set up: 3

Broken needles: 2

Trips to Hancock Fabrics: 1

Number of times I swept the floor: 6

Number of times I washed my hands: 25ish

Number of times I swore at my machine: 14,340

Podcasts listened to: 8 (3 episodes of Planet Money, 1 episode of the Motley Fool, 1 episode of Michael Feldman's Wad'ya know, 1 episode of This American Life, 2 episodes of A Prairie Home Companion)

Tips to the mailbox: 3 (it's a good distraction)

Margaritas desired: 35

Margaritas drank: 0

Cups of coffee drank: 8

Total level of crazy on a scale of 1 - 10: 5

Not too shabby for day 1.

The real question, however, is how the #%(*&! I manage this during the school year. Wow.

"By Appointment Only"

2011-05-23T18:37:00.001-07:00

I realize I bring this on myself.

Today has been a challenge. At the beginning of my day, my schedule was as follows:
12:15 Maids dress #1 drop off for alterations
1:00 Bridal gown drop off for pressing
6:00 Maids dress #2 drop off for alterations
6:30 Maids dress #3 check in fitting
7:00 Maids dress #4 pick up

What actually happened:
12:15 Canceled at last minute
1:00 Rescheduled for pickup at alternate location at 3:00, then for a later drop off at 5:30, and arrived smack in the middle of my 6:00 fitting that arrived 15 minutes late
6:30 Texts to say she can't come until 7:30
My 7:00 is still holding strong...

I realize I bring this on myself. Someday, when I win the lotto, quit my day job, and procure an office outside my home, I'll switch to a system where I have set drop in hours. A girl can dream...

Caring and Sharing

2011-05-17T11:51:00.001-07:00

“How long have you been engaged?” is a very typical question that began a very typical fitting. Sometimes the answer you get is a nothing more than a business-like statement of fact. Sometimes, though, you find this connection with a bride that leads her to answer more fully. If you’re lucky, you get a glimpse into a slice of life that you’ve never even imagined. Last Tuesday, I got lucky.

“We’ve been engaged for 3 years. We were supposed to be married last September, but postponed the wedding because of my brother’s passing.” She continued on to tell me the story of her brother who had died after a long battle with cancer. The story itself was sad, but what struck me was the information she shared about his care during the last stages of his life.

She described how difficult it was for him to get end of life care here in the valley. When he was in the Bay area, he was able to get the care he needed relatively nearby. But as his time here on earth got shorter, he had to travel farther and farther to get the care he needed. How awful to have such little time left and have to spend it in the car, traveling up and down the dusty, dry, unscenic 99.

Most of this conversation came out when I asked her what degree she is persuing. She hopes to use her sociology degree to begin a non-profit that will improve end of life care for cancer patients and to alleviate some of the burden of travel during those last painful months. Her ability to so calmly and clearly state her goals and story was inspiring.

I woke up the next morning still enamored with her story. I admire her her dedication to this mission, openess, and gentle, clear style of communication uplifting. (Ironically, these are some of the same traits that make her an ideal client.)

Her dress was beautiful. It was a ruched through the bodice which pleated down into a very graceful bubble skirt. The trumpet style is being changed into more of a mermaid look, and a strap that is akin to a cascade of flowers will fall over one shoulder and gracefully fade in to the bodice. How exciting to meet a bride who can envision what a dress with good bones can look like with a bit of restyling. It is a refreshing change of pace, and I’m thrilled to see what the dress will ultimately become.

Mostly, I am grateful to make something beautiful for someone with such a beautiful heart.

Yes I Cannabis!

2011-05-04T21:05:00.001-07:00

This economy sucks.

Oversharing comes with the territory. There is something about being in a fitting and half naked in the presence of a stranger that makes people spill it.

A bride arrived at my home tonight with her wedding dress, and as I was lacing her up she started telling me about how her family was struggling. She and her fiancé have 4 kids and have both been laid off in the last year. She then told me the story of how their family has been essentially saved by the the private bakery she and her husband run.

I'm thinking "Sexy cakes! How nice!"

Nope. Cannibus cakes. She went on talking about her suppliers and some past activities than I am not very comfortable knowing. Her story was very touching, but I wish she would have chosen a different stopping place---like perhaps while my mind was filled with visions of cakes found only at a bachelorette party.

Somedays, I'm not the quickest on the upswing.

Thank you to our troops

2011-05-04T08:50:00.001-07:00

I am in tears.

When the news that Osama Bin Laden broke this week, I was very glad to hear that an enemy of this country had finally been removed as a threat. The reality of the situation had not really set in until this morning.

I had a woman come by for a fitting for a bridesmaid dress for her sister's wedding. She was profusely apologetic for arriving 10 minutes late because she was on the phone with her husband for the first time in 2 weeks. Her husband is deployed and is on the ship that transported Bin Laden's body to his burial at sea. She said it was so terrifying being cut off from communication like that and not being told the reason until after the fact.

I cannot imagine having to constantly deal with situations over which you have no control and still maintaining such a sweet smile. I am blown away by her strenght and kind demeanor, and am so thankful that this latest unknown situation in her life has passed.

What a sacrifice that our military members and their families make every single day. I admire your strength. Thank you, and God bless.

Formerly Fashionable

2011-04-26T12:13:00.001-07:00

Today, I am going to alter a dress that is best described as “formerly fashionable.” The bride got the dress in 1997 from a friends bridal store that was going out of business, and it was probably at the height of fashion. Apparently, gigantic tulle skirts with lace applique did reach the height of fashion at one time.

The interesting challenge with this dress is that I’ve been called twice and told to stop working on it b/c of a wedding postponement. Today is the big day when there is no looking back–I’m chopping 6 inches off the bottom,and there is no looking back. Maybe this is the karma that the bride needs to get this wedding to happen on time and in the budget in which they feel more comfortable.

Shotgun Solutions

2011-04-25T19:05:00.001-07:00

I have quite the reputation in this town.

Today, I was contacted by the 3rd bride or bridesmaid this month with the same problem: Help! I'm knocked up and don't want to look like a house at this wedding!!

My eyes get dreamy with happiness when this challenge arises. Making clothing fit a unique body type is my favorite part of this job--but pair that with making a $1200 Pronovias custom designer gown fit a 6-month baby bump "while making it not too noticeable--I haven't told my grandma yet!" and it's pure alterations heaven.

Right now I'm having some serious regerts about not photographing any of my work---carefully peeling the beading back, adding a long, skinny ellipse-shaped gusset into the side seam, and then re-applying and weaving the beading into and over the gusset to make it seamlessly accomodate the baby.

I've always wanted to start a business by the name of "Shotgun Solutions" (patent pending!!!) that specialized in maternity wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses. At this time, I'll settle for being the go-to guru.

So what should you do if you find out that you're going to be X number of months knocked up at a wedding that requires an advanced purchase of a bridesmaids dress? My tip of the day (or, shotgun solution, if you will):

2 - 5 months--order one size up. 6 - 9 months--two sizes. If in doubt, err on the bigger side. You can always take a dress in without having to worry about purchasing extra fabric, but not neccessarily out.
Find out what the price is for an extra yard of fabric--or better yet, find out if the dress comes with a shawl as a backup plan.
If you get the option of a style, look for something with an existing waist seam or better yet, an empire style.. Princess seams are harder to alter to make the top and middle look proportionate.

Are these groundbreaking solutions? Nah. Do you have an innovative solution? Include it in a comment below!

Fuss-Bucket Central

2011-04-17T16:24:00.001-07:00

You know how a mother want her daugher’s wedding day to be “just perfect?” I had a mother/daughter team for the record books stop by last week.

This mother was so endearing. She was so worked up and worried and wanted everything to be lovely, but she had this inate kindness that made you want to hug her and make everything ok. I got the impression that she was very timid, a little old fashioned, and was having a hard time understanding some of the choices that her daughter was making (flip flops! removing extraneous tulle! going for a dip in the ocean in her dress the day after the wedding!)

Her very laid-back daughter (perhaps exausted from a lifetime of saying “Mom! Calm down!”), the maid-of-honor, and aunt of the bride, were all taking it in stride. It’s like they were all placing their hand on their preverbial hips saying ”That Jane Doe. She’s fussy and nervous, but we love her.” To me, that’s love.

All that aside, the dress was lovely. The bride had a larger frame, and she choose a beaded taffeta dress that had asymetrical ruching and a corset back. I think the dress shop ordered her 2 sizes too big (or the company needs to re-evaluate placement of the princess line seams in the front) which would have solved some of the fit issues. (As for me, that would have prevented the need to re-bead some of the front panel. Blech.) Overall, her decision to remove extraneous tulle, add straps, and go with a corset back on this dress were all very successful in making the dress look good on her frame.

Welcome!

2011-04-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

Ah, weddings.

Such a time of love, happiness, unity…and drama, vanity, and emotions so sky high that it can push even the most level-headed of brides into a frenzy. In the world of bridal alterations, I see an unusual and touching slice of humanity. Brides glow with happiness. Friendships are strenghtened. Sibling rivalries are revealed. Mothers weep with nostalgia while saying “‘Honey, stand up straight.” Stories unfold that would make the writers of Lifetime Original movies weep.

People are amazingly open when they are half naked. The stories I want to tell are the touching moments–or the frustrating nutcase stories– that happen during that time between picking up the dress and "I do."

Enjoy!