My Discreet Complaints on My Little Life...

I have problem with Blogger~

2014-08-20T07:42:00.000+08:00

Due to my swaying mood and inspiration.
I wanted to change the domain name to the blog that I am currently using.
Alas, it erupted a new problem where the old post can't be seen.
And new posts won't appear on the reading list.

So I have moved the blog to a new domain that still include the old post same as here.
But with a new title.
So that it can be easily searched by many~

New site >.<

I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
Hope you will enjoy my newest entry tomorrow on 0012 hours.

Nearly 3 full year...

2014-06-18T14:30:00.001+08:00

Wednesday, 18th of June 2014, 1413 hours...

When 1st September come,
It will be a full 3 year that I have spent my time on my degree.
And yet I have to add another year to it because of my stupidity.

I am not an educated person.
I know I'm not.
But apparently in life you need that one piece of paper called degree or diploma to be more successful.

I'm in a dead end where I'm so terrified that I can never graduate and will be kicked out.
Because I'm too Asian for my own good; I'm afraid to let down my parents.
Like the one in this video~

I wish that I can find what I really want to do before that happen.
I cried my eyes out, stress my brain completely and worn out my body in trying to find what I want to do in life.
I know it's impossible to search for it at such a young age.
But I just don't want to be stuck where ever I am.

All my coursemate are gonna graduate next year leaving me behind.
Not that I am sad for that; I am happy too that they have succeeded in what I have failed.
I see one of my friends already flown so far from her study.
I wished she could have told me so that I could wish for her luck and safety~

All my friends are going far for their goals and yet here I am stuck.
I want to do something,
I really am.
But I indulge in my pleasure too much~

I hope if anybody read this, you are not like me.
I wish that this misfortune doesn't fall upon you, dear readers~

All the best my dear self, please reminisce when you are successful.
Come back here and read whatever you have written here so you can find new courage.

Hateful Heart

2013-07-22T05:40:00.000+08:00

Monday, 22nd of July 2013, 0530 hours.

Have you ever hate yourself so much that you even thought that you, yourself should not even exist.
I am currently thinking that way.

I hate my self.
I hate how I am lazy and unproductive towards life but still laze around on the floor reading 'mangas'* and sleep almost half of the day.
I hate how I am incapable to motivate my self in doing anything big and impressive.
I hate how I spend to much on foods.
I hate how I dont know how to manage my funds.
I hate everything about me.

But I know this will not even dent my laziness and unthrifty barrier at all.
I hate my self...

Trying to write more,

I'm BLB~

2013-04-30T11:59:00.003+08:00

Tuesday, 30th April 2013, 1136.

Today,
It's been a long time since I wrote anything due to there was nothing that was worth typing about.
But now, today, I have a little complaint about my life again.

It all started on last Friday.
I went to my campus with the 9 o'clock bus in the morning.
I went to wait for my friend to finish her class at 10.
While waiting, I usually will browse 9gag and Facebook or anything that was interesting for that hour.
But it all went wrong when my laptop, Kuro, wont turn on and kept on asking for me to fix his malfunction using the Fujitsu default tools.

I did all I can.
But it still wont turn on.
Lastly, I asked a good friend of mine to look at it.
He said he'll take it home for a check up.
I was praying it would be nothing and didn't slept well that night.

The next day, Saturday.
I was pacing around in my head about my lappy.
It was until that night when we went for our class event where we went bowling.
I met my friends and ask him about my laptop.
He said he have to send it to a workshop for them to look at it.
I was still praying it would be just a system failure or something.

The next day, Sunday.
He message me,
I went and check your laptop in the workshop.
They said you have to change your hard drive.
And that all your data in it will be gone.
I almost faint hearing those words.
He said I need to ready a certain amount of money to pay for the fix.
Because of shortage of money,
I have to ask my father about it.
When I called him, he was doubtful at first and later accepted my excuses.
I was glad that he would give me money for the fee.
I was happy that my laptop would be okay and I thought this would be the end but it was not.

The next day, Monday.
As usual,
Went to class, eat and study.
But come night, I lost something precious.
Apparently, I dropped my phone somewhere.
Either it's in the bus or the cafe that I waited for the bus ride home.
Plus this week is crucial that I have my phone with me.
It concern a lot of my future matters.

I havent told my dad about this yet.
I bet he's gonna blabber about this too...

Argh~!!!
Why am I so unlucky this few days???

Betrayal

2013-03-25T14:23:00.002+08:00

Betrayal,
Have you ever felt the greatest betrayal?
By the hands of your kin and close friends.

They have struck my soul to the core.
They have tore my essence to pieces.
Leaving me on the depth of the abyss.
Roaming the darkness of sorrow.

None have lend their hand to pull me up.
None notice the disappearance of my being.

There I lie on the ground so cold.
Waiting for someone to at least shed a tear to my desolate world.

Bored #6

2012-10-07T23:39:00.003+08:00

7th of October 2012, 2342 hours.

I'm bored, always am...

But today I'm even more bored.
It's not like I dont have work that I have to do.
It's just that my weekend seems dull and uninteresting.
Even though my assignment are blowing to the roof, still dont have the urge to do it.

Why am I like this always???
Am I that stupid or something...

Bored and stale...

Ache...

2012-10-04T01:08:00.004+08:00

4th of October 2012, 0105 hour.

My day was as splendid as any other day...

Sun was shining brightly for my path...

Present of happiness was open one by one...

Smiling together we had fun...

Apparently my night wasn't the same...

Came the two visitor of sorrowful heart...

Seeking refuge on a broken hope...

Taking their damages the hope is left...

Tears welling up no one who cared...

Except one of the broken piece...

Together we sit...

Fixing what was left after the storm and thunder...

Our hands full of bruises...

Scars never seem to heal...

Our own heart left on the floor, dusty ever rotting...

Dry tears on our cheeks ever unseen...

No one seem to be near when are the visitor of sorrow except for each other we turn...

Thus the story still continues as tomorrow to come.

Thank you,

One Week~

2012-09-14T20:15:00.000+08:00

12th of September 2012, 1958 hours.

It's been nearly one week since I came back to UTeM.
I finally got to be roomie with my friend.
The residential college we got was perfect.
We got a room just for the both of us.
But the sad part is that the location of our place is far away from any restaurant and mart.
Plus cheap transport like bus doesnt come where we're at.
We need to literally walk for a while to a place where the bus is frequently come and go.

That's it for now~

Sincerely,

Quick Sand Syndrome

2012-08-17T17:07:00.001+08:00

17th of August 2012, Friday.

I was so happy when my parents and siblings came today at 0630 hours.
But it quickly escalated to despair as the minute past by with our interaction thus the 'Quick Sand Syndrome'.

I was trying to avoid my mother because I didnt want her to ask me about my freaking result.
Alas, I failed.
She caught me in front of my laptop so she asked.
I was reluctant to show her.
Yet, I still showed to her.
What a good daughter I am...
Well, back to the current issue.

I showed her and she just stares at the result at first.
Then she kept asking question like 'How are going to graduate if your CGPA is that low?', 'What are going to do if they kick you out?', 'Work, but you're a lazy-boned girl?' and others that I didnt quite hear due to I'm trying to block her presence out of my mind.

I dont know the answer to those questions...
All I can do now is just pray that I'll be okay until the end of my life.

Stuck deep in the gutter,

Conditional approval

2012-08-13T18:59:00.004+08:00

13th of August 2012, Monday.

Now for muslim, its the month of fasting, Ramadhan.
And on the 23rd of Ramadhan is my birthday on the Hijiri Calendar.
So, basically yesterday was my birthday too aside from the normal calendar.

Yesterday, at 1700 hours, my grandma and I arrived at my uncle house in Kelantan, Malaysia by bus, in the celebration of the upcoming Syawal where all of our close relative would gather to celebrate.
We came first due to most of the children are still have school and the adults havent receive their days off yet.
I'm basically still in my holidays and I dont want to sit stuck in a car without enough space to even stretch your legs.

So now that I finally have internet connection, I can browse for my results on my finals last semester.
I know it was bad but I didnt expect it to be that bad.
I got pointer below 2.0...
I'm so dead if my parents were to find out about this.
I hope to get back to class to escape from my parents wrath~

Scared to the core of my soul,

Finally~

2012-07-11T01:22:00.001+08:00

11th of July 2012, Wednesday, 0121.

At last~
Internet connection.
I've been away from it for like 18 days.
It feels like 2 month.

I feel so left out without internet connection.
But this still not enough.
It's not fast enough.

T_T

Uni Life...

2012-06-07T15:38:00.001+08:00

7th of June 2012, 1538.

Just spent my daylight inside the library on the Main Campus.
Not particularly studying for my final.
Just been sitting around,
Downloading stuff.

I've been broke about few weeks already from my student loan.
So right now, my parents are providing me with money as they can.
My parents arent rich people so I didnt expect to be dump a load of cash out front.

Well,
Now I'm barely full with anything but beggars cant be chooser.

Broke,

Bored #5

2012-06-07T01:26:00.001+08:00

7th of June 2012, 0118.

Panic and dumbfounded by my own stupidity...

Sigh...

I panic because the last hour to send my work for extra mark was on June 7 2012, 11:59 p.m. and when I looked at the clock it was already 1 in the morning.
I was cursing myself non-stop...
Then a sudden realization.

'I still have like 23 hours to send it before it close the site...'

I curse myself some more before sending it.

I feel so pathetic.

T_T

Dumbfounded,

Bored #4

2012-06-05T02:13:00.000+08:00

5th of June 2012, 0159.

Due to stress and boredom,

I decided to butt in on one of my old friend since Matriculation on one of her post in Facebook.

She posted about her blog.
It's about early marriage.

So, at first I thought it was her that will be getting married due to her previous blog.

It showed a left hand with a diamond ring and I thought it was hers.

Until she cleared it for me that it was for display purpose image only.
And her boyfriend only gave her a stainless steal ring as shown on her latest blog.

And I teased her a bit by saying to ask her boyfriend to buy her one like on the picture.
She answered that her words wont budge him and she told me to tell him that myself.
So, I (not thinking very straightly) with haste type onto her boyfriend's wall about her wanting a ring and left it like that even after my senses came back to me saying this is a stupid idea.

I hope this play out well...
I hope they both don't kill me~

Frantically yours,

Bored #3

2012-06-04T21:10:00.001+08:00

4th of June 2012, 2109.

Currently being blown with boredom and no will to do my assignments...

Have been goofing around since I woke up.

Went to Mydin (It's like a mall) to shop around for food for the last three week I'll be in University.

Still, the boredom is still there.

Still goofing around in my room like typing this post and eating my chicken popcorn that I bought during my trip.

I'm bored~!!!

Bored,

She's going to BLOW UP~!!!

2012-05-30T03:38:00.001+08:00

30th of May 2012,

It's literally 3:30 in the morning.

I'm still not done with my Database project, my Math assignment, my Data Structure and Algorithm group assignment, and my Operating System group assignment.

Plus, all of them need to be done by today and tomorrow.

Even though I seem to be lacking the urgency by writing this post, I need a stress reliever from the meltdown that going on my brain even if it's a exaggeration on my part to skip out of thinking for a moment.

And this post does not have any relation to the post title~

I've been browsing my Facebook News Feed from my friends and family.

Scrolling down the page, seeing the updates from family and stupid post from friends, I saw updates about politics which are hotly debated in my country.

I do hate the damages that politics do onto my beloved land but the politics what still make it whole.
Why can't people be nice to others as they are to their own family and friends???
I know it's hard to do for strangers, even siblings fight with each other but we can still try to make amends and move forward to a better future rather than destroying each other for petty reasons.

That's all I guess for now,
Need to get back to the work that I've left laying around.
And sorry for the decrease in updates on my posts.
Have been busy and I dont have anything to write about.

Sincerely yours,

Dark day...

2012-04-14T05:19:00.000+08:00

13th April 2012, Friday...

That is a lot of bad luck in one lifetime even if I dont believe in those things...
Well,
Today did gone for the worse that I could ever imagine.

My 2nd lil bro just got 2 interviews from different University that he pick.
But one of the interview requires you to stay there for 4 days.
He planned to skip that interview and go to the other one.

But,
The ever dramatic mother of ours would not accept my lil bro decision.
And as usual, I too, were suck into the tornadoes of dramas and shouting but mostly shouting.

She told my bro to go to the interview and she will not accept any excuses.
Well rather than told, she was literally forcing him to go.

How do I fit in this story of drama and shouting...
Well,
My part was the one who got yelled at.

She was not satisfied by my figure,
She said it was becoming unhealthy of me to become even fatter since the last time she saw me.

She kept blabbering on how thin she was when she was at my age
And how all my clothes would not fit me anymore and so on.

Yeah, I know health is a great thing to be pursuing about...
But you dont have to add on the insult by telling about your perfect figure before you got married.

And in the first place,
Who was the one who kept feeding me with KFC, McD and other junk foods since I was little...
You should instill the good point of avoiding those stuff since then...
But you did the opposite...

Sigh...

Now,
I'm writing it down this woe in my heart onto this post.
But nobody would care.

Alas,
My discreet complaints...

Sincerely,

Finger Choker...

2012-03-16T23:25:00.002+08:00

Wednesday, 14 of March 2012.

There was a PC fair at UTeM.
So there was a lot of shops that sell stuffs.
One of them was a ring shop.

Due to the lost of my precious butterfly ring.
I decided to buy another ring.

This time the seller carved my name onto it after I chose one.
I asked him to carve my deviant name which was...

" Laika Zuain Ramtus "

Now it will wound up my left finger or right.

My heart, soul and body...

2012-03-05T02:15:00.002+08:00

March. 3rd. 2012. Monday. 0155.

Due to some complication of my action,
I've made some people fall into a few predicaments in these two past month.

Yes, they got mad at me and scold me and threaten me and all.
I dont mind because I know it is MY fault that it happened that way.
And yet my mind kept contemplating about how stupid I was and how useless I was to the group.
If they were to kick me out of the group,
I was ready for it.
But they went lenient on me by giving me a chance with a warning of course.

Due to that,
It made me feel guilty,
But I know this feeling doesnt last because my heart doesnt bear any remorse to people it met.

Due to that knowledge,
It made me feel sick with myself,
But I know the sickness would pass because my body doesnt even care about it the next day.

Due to that fact,
It made my soul detest myself,
But I know the detestation would brush off because my soul was never there when I told them that I'm sorry.

There was no feeling of guilt nor remorse to that little action I took that day because I was happy on that day.
Thus, the knowledge and feeling of accept-ion just dawned to me as natural as the rising sun.

Do all this make me a terrible human???
Is it really bad to lie about your happiness while other suffer their torment???

I'm confuse with all of this feeling concept.
I wish I could die so that nobody would be hurt by my action anymore.
I would slowly extract myself from society so that they wouldnt notice that I am there anymore.
So this incident will never happen to anybody else.

I would probably not to be miss,
I would probably not to be notice,
I would probably not to be mourn,
I would probably not to be cried,
I would probably not to be scold,
I would definitely...

I dont want to write the next sentence because it would probably arouse the feeling of worry or anger inside of peoples heart.

Thus, I bid ye fair well.

BoReD #2

2012-02-12T22:18:00.000+08:00

12 February 2012 / 2131 hours,
Laying around in bed.
Bored and unmotivated by anything.

Kept browsing 9gag non-stop since it took my soul~
But day by day, I grew tired of re post, unrelated to gag images and other stupid unrelated things that shouldnt be on the site.
Still, I kept browsing the same site over and over again.
Sigh,
That's how bored I am.

I usually browse through Youtube.
I always ends up at a few weird video such as about giving birth, skin cyst popping, parodies, and the videos that should not be announce the title...

Nowadays because of the fear of SOPA, PIPA and ACTA,
I've been downloading animes, series, and movies non-stop.
Plus I'm returning to campus next week where internet connection is unreliable if you want to torrent stuff.
My lappy hasn't been shut down for a long period of time now.
And I even bought a new external hard drive to store all the downloaded stuff.
Even that was not likely to be enough.
FYI, it's a 1 TByte hard drive.
I'm feel wary about telling this cause I might be accused and sent to prison just because I download some stuff over the internet.

Those bills are restricting human nature of wanting to share.
Sharing = Caring
Without sharing,
The feeling of care would eventually thin out in peoples heart erasing love and making everybody a soulless shell of carbon.
The rich getting richer, the poorer becomes poorer.

Yes, I've taken this from 9gag~

Sincerely,

Counting game... BoReD #1

2012-01-15T06:46:00.002+08:00

Okay...
I'm gonna a start a counting post title BoReD #(numbers)...
I wanna see how much I can make until I'm sick and tired of it...

Okay, okay...
I know it's boring...
Heck, it's the freaking title of the freaking post...

Yeah,
I promised that I would post my friends from High School right???
I'll make sure next week it will be posted in my blog.

Well...
Please look forward for my entries~

Sincerely,

Pritt~!!! Safe!!!

2012-01-14T19:39:00.001+08:00

13th January 2012,

Yeah I am officially home for the whole month...

It's my semester break...

And I'm gonna chill till the end.

So to all the degree student out there, Happy Holidays~!!!

Middle School~

2012-01-04T03:43:00.002+08:00

Sekolah Kebangsaan Taming Jaya.

I moved from Batu Caves to Balakong when I entered this school on the year 2000 in May.

Due to my father works.

Let me introduce few of my friends that were closes to me during this times~

Because at that time I was obsessed for few people only so my circle of friend is kinda small... XP

(I hope I get their names correct because my memory is kinda rusty... ^_^;...)

Nur Diyana : She was like the gang leader in our group which consist of me, Intan, Zuraidah, and Liyana.
Putri Intan : She's one of the librarian in our class and a member of our little gang.
Zuraidah : The most talkative in our group whom the best friend to Liyana.
Liyana : The best friend of Zuraidah. If I'm not mistaken she's the cleverest out the four of us.
Arif Adam : Well, I really dont have enough words to tell about him but I'll elaborate more when we go to the High School section of his story where he truly stand out as a close friend of mine until now.
Nur Ajla : Her story would also be continued during High School section of her story.
Haqfika : Her story too would be continued during High School section of her story.
Atikah : We called her 'Bika' because she would be usually seen eating a snack named 'Bika' which also sound a lot like her name. This nick name is still stuck among us friends until now.

Well,

The other classmate arent that close to me and I kinda unsure about their names.

I dont want to get sued due to it.

Plus I dont remember enough about them to write their meanings to me.

So I'm sorry to those that I cant elaborate more.

How about your middle school friends???

Unsuspected Post Entry Idea. Well, Not Really...

2012-01-03T03:22:00.004+08:00

As I type this post,
I wondered...
What do I really want to tell to the readers today???
I pondered long for the answers...
But to no avail...
None came.

I went blog-walking...
I saw few interesting title to start writing upon but I dont think it's appropriate to my style of writing,
So I didnt proceed with those selected titles...

Later as I pondered what to type onto my post...
My close friend called.
We talked for a bit...
Then said our good byes.
Then I hang up.
At that moment...
I got an idea to write on my new friends at UTeM, my friends at JMC, and my friends from high school~
But that would be on another post entry cuz I want to separate them nicely so that you wouldnt get confuse~
And each post will consist of 3-4 persons so that my post wont be too long.

So...
I hope you'll be interested to read them...
How bout you write about your friend too and post your site to me so that I can read about them too~
Happy Writing~!!!

Out with the old and In with the new~

2011-12-31T14:04:00.001+08:00

So tomorrow is 1st of January 2012.
It will be a new year.
But I just cant get in the mood of celebrating new year's right now.
Got finals just right around the corner in 4 days...
Havent read or revise any subject...
What am I going to do???

While everyone seems happy enough about the upcoming new year...
So I guess Happy New Year to all of you people in the world~!!!
And I'm gonna get back to work.
Bye.
XP