Sippy Cups Are Not For Starbucks

Friday Night Leftovers (The Sleepless Edition)

2012-02-10T18:17:00.001-05:00

I've become the most boring person to talk to ever. I only have one topic of conversation: baby. I really need to get out and start reading and watching some news.
I can also talk about how tired I am. That's an easy topic.
I'm going to miss football. Stupid Superbowl.
Bean and I had some one on one time today. I heard her laugh more today than I have in weeks. And, not just laugh, belly laugh. It was fabulous. I miss our time together and I know she does too.
I've gone to two classes this semester and I'm psyched to almost be done with coursework. Bee has been awesome with the kids and we've been very blessed to have COS and my sister-in-law come over to offer him support.
That's all I have. Really. I'm so boring.

More On Blue's Birth

2012-02-09T05:56:00.000-05:00

Now that I got that pesky anesthesiologist story out of the way, let's finish this little story.

Of all the kids' births, I'd say that Blue's was the least dramatic or involved. Other than my issues, he really had none. He joined us at a whooping NINE pounds and twelve ounces and was twenty-one and a half inches long (which I initially reported incorrectly- you can blame the awful medicine). With all ten fingers and all ten toes, he was just perfect. Because he was so big though, he did have to come out with forceps. Even with a c-section, a big kid is a flippin' big kid and apparently he barely fit through my incision.

The first night we were there, they took him to complete his hearing test, so I was able to get some sleep. On the second night, he was awake until two a.m., so I ended up calling the nurses to ask for a break. This hospital doesn't have a nursery, but the nurses will take the babes for short periods if you ask.

He was super calm and laid back almost the entire time we were there. He cried very little and when he did, it was for a good reason. Bee and I discussed several times how quiet he was compared to his sisters. We'll see if this lasts.

Overall, I thought he looked more like Bean than Tot. But, he does have a different look than both the girls. For one thing, he doesn't have the long, dark eyelashes the girls have. I suppose that if any of our children were going to get jipped in the eyelash department, it should be the boy. His hair is also a bit lighter than the girls was. I'm anticipating another brown haired, brown eyed child, but he definitely isn't a carbon copy of his sisters.

The toughest part of this boy business was the circumcision. This was a decision that I struggled with, but, ultimately, I left to Bee. I will never know what it's like to deal with a penis. Thank goodness. Our pediatrician, who is beyond kind, came over at ten at night after he was done with his day to do the circumcision. It hurts me to even think and talk about it. I trust our doctor and know that he is super kind and gentle, so at least that is some solace.

I was given the option to go home after two days or stay for a third. With an obscene amount of poking and prodding and all the news surrounding the pending death of my grandfather, I opted to go home after day two. I was sore, but I figured life would be easier at home. Needless to say, I didn't realize I'd be coming home to a stomach bug with Bean.

As I mentioned before, we didn't get any pictures of Blue right out of the gate, but I've included some of the earliest shots of him and some of the pictures from our time in the hospital.

Ready for the OR

Wordless Wednesday: Randoms From Lately

2012-02-08T10:25:00.000-05:00

What In The World Is Going On?

2012-02-07T19:52:00.000-05:00

Okay, it's time for a little quiz.

Use your imagination and let me know- what in the world is going on here?

And here?

Big Sisters (Sisters- As In Plural)

2012-02-06T09:09:00.000-05:00

The fact that we have three (THREE!!!!) children is just now sinking in. Or is it? I'm not sure it really has yet. We've yet attempted to go out as a family of five, so maybe that's when it will really sink in.

When we brought Blue home we had a big sister party that was met with a lukewarm reception. The girls enjoyed getting gifts (dress up and Zingo), but they were much more interested in the new boy in the house. Overall, I think the girls are doing fairly well with this whole new brother business. Bean is definitely having a harder time coping with the changes, but she's managing. Both girls will sit with him, sing to him and talk to him. They are very interested in what he's doing and where he is.

At the hospital, Bean was the most interested in Blue. She wanted to see him, hold him and check him out. Since we've been home, the interest has waned and she's less than thrilled with the whole attention sharing business. On more than one occasion she has told us that she wants to be a baby again and wants to drink milk like "that baby." Don't be mistaken, she's still interested, but she's not liking this attention sharing business.

Tot, on the other hand, is totally in love. She wants to hold Blue all the time. Holding him is the first thing she asks for when she comes home and she constantly wants to know where he is. She is loving her job as big sister and will diagnose his cries as "gas" or "hungry" whenever he fusses. Seriously, this kid loves the boy.

I think we are going to have some awesome big sisters who will not only keep their little brother very busy, but will also dote on him and protect him. Oh, and put him in princess dresses, too.

Life These Days

2012-02-05T20:43:00.000-05:00

It's true, I'm barely hanging on. Life since we've been home has been slowly spiraling and I'm barely getting by day to day. By getting by, I mean that I can't keep up with anything. My life is an endless cycle of nursing, diaper changing, sleep deprivation, laundry, attempts to connect and reconnect with the girls and meager attempts to keep up with my coursework. Never mind all those thank you notes, blogs I want to read, to do lists to complete, emails and phone calls to return, clean clothes to be put away, dishes to be cleaned and blogs I want to write (birth story, big sisters, anyone?). I know that I don't need to do any of those things, but I feel very out of control when I'm not getting things done. My Type A personality can barely handle the chaos of life right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving this little man and I'm so grateful to even have this opportunity, but geez, I'm stressed.
It won't be like this forever.

Cute Baby Saturday: One Week Old

2012-02-04T13:15:00.000-05:00

I saw this idea on Pinterest and thought it was too cute to pass up. I had to do it. However, I didn't anticipate having a newborn that filled the entire length of the hamper. I guess he'll be hanging over the sides in no time.

1 week old

Friday Night Leftovers (The All Baby Edition)

2012-02-03T09:30:00.006-05:00

It's amazing how a little baby can make your older "babies" look huge. I mean, I thought Bean was tiny until Blue arrived.
Prior to Blue's birth I was hot all the time. I wore short sleeves every single day. My internal heater is gone and I find that I am freezing all the time now. I've even had to put an extra blanket on the bed at night and I'm sleeping in long pants and long sleeved shirts.
After Blue was born the girls and Bee gave me a new Pandora charm that says Mom with three little stones. I just love it!!!
I downloaded an app on my phone to help me keep track of my nursing, pumping, etc. On average, I am spending two and a half to three hours a day nursing. Holy milk machine.
Technology is amazing. Did you know that Pamper Swaddlers have a yellow line on the outside now that turns blue or green when your kid pees? You don't even have to open the diaper anymore. So awesome.
I really thought I would go cloth with the diapers this time. It's not happening. At least not now.
Boys are so much harder to change than girls. The whole peeing on you thing is hard work to avoid.
A friend, who is a professional photographer took pictures of Blue this week. Oh. My. Goodness. They are beyond awesome. Pictures to come soon.
I still need to write a big sisters post, the rest of the birth story post and a comparison of pregnancies post.
So much chaos. So little structure. Good thing this is only a season of life.

Blue's Birth Story (Just The Operating Room Version)

2012-02-02T08:51:00.047-05:00

It's taken a while, but I've finally finished the birth post, but only as it relates to the actual operating room stuff. I need to get this out of the way so I can move on and share the good stuff.

I was scheduled for Tuesday and arrived at the birthing wing without incident. Interestingly, I ended up in the exact same room where I had Bean. Kind of cool, considering.

Once the prep started for the c-section, I began to unravel. I think that knowing what was coming sent me right over the edge. I ended up having a panic attack while they were putting the IV in (she missed the first time). I felt faint and really thought I was going to freak. After a few minutes, I was able to successfully settle myself down without a problem.

Then the anesthesiologist came in. And here is where all the story revolves. The stinkin' anesthesiologist. I had the same guy for both Tot and Bean and he just rocked. He was gentle, there was no pain and he was accommodating to my anxiety issues. This anesthesiologist came in and immediately started talking a mile a minute. All the time she's talking, I'm thinking she looks familiar, but I don't think beyond that. I tell her about my previous two experiences and how I had panic attacks both times. I also share that I already had an attack under my belt for that morning. She begins questioning the frequency of my attacks, the nature of my attacks and on and on. I explain that I don't do panic attacks in real life. I only save them for when my abdomen is being sliced open and a human is being pulled out of me while I'm awake. She insists it won't happen because she and the nurse are great at talking people down. I laugh and think "fat chance." She goes on to tell me (repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly) how if she gives me the la-la medicine, I may suffer a bit of amnesia. I explain that I had the la-la medicine both times and remember every last detail. Cue more lecture from her.

And then? She says "Are you Bean's mom?" And it clicks. This is the mother of one of Bean's classmates. That I don't like. Who rubbed me the wrong way the second I met her. Ugh.

After she leaves, I remind Bee who she is and then go on to excuse her out of the hospital behavior by suggesting that she was only acting like a lofty snob because she has a take charge kind of job. I wanted to be okay with her.

In the operating room, she gave me my spinal and it was excruciating. I had ZERO problems the first two times with the pain. This time, it flippin' hurt. Strike one. Once I was down on the table and they started pumping my veins with whatever it was and my lower body began to go numb, I started freaking. Seriously freaking. And, I told them I was about to freak. My go-to when I'm freaking is to cover my face with my arm. I don't know why I do it, but if I can, it helps. I don't know. I'm weird.

The next minute went like this:
I say, "I'm starting to panic."
They give me the la-la medicine.
I put my arm across my face.
The anesthesiologist says I can't put my arm on my face (my last anesthesiologist let me do it as long as he could still get my blood pressure- which he could).
The anesthesiologist tells the nurse to hold my arm down.
I freak even more.
The anesthesiologist sedates me before my la-la medicine even takes effect.
I'm out.

Bitch.

When I woke up, Blue was out and I immediately asked for his apgar scores. First one was a six (duh, he was drugged, much like his mother), then at a minute an eight and a nine at five minutes. I remember them telling Bee to go with the baby to the room and they finished up with me.

I wasn't really mad at the time, but I got increasingly angry about it over the next few days, particularly since many of the doctors and nurses were perplexed and a bit disturbed about why I was knocked out (I was told it was essentially the stuff that killed Michael Jackson). The pediatrician was none too happy. Basically, the anesthesiologist knocking birthing mothers out is a frowned upon practice.

There were no lasting effects with Blue. After an hour, they tested his Ph level and he was totally in the normal range. No residual medication. Me, on the other hand, I have no memories and would probably fail a drug test these days.

Oh, and another thing. Despite the fact that Bee had our camera ready and charged, we have no pictures of the birth or right after. Why? Yep, her. The anesthesiologist kept telling him no. Who even let her make that decision? We have tons of pictures of both girls from the c-sections and nothing for Blue because she insisted he not take any pictures.

Bitch.

I'm not looking forward to the next preschool parent function.

Wordless Wednesday: Sweet Boy

2012-02-01T18:17:00.000-05:00

Things

2012-01-31T19:36:00.000-05:00

I am...
tired
exhausted
emotional
in love
constantly thirsty
always hungrier than I think I am
scatterbrained

Life is...
disorganized
emotionally charged
chaotic
moving on
blessed
full of love

I am behind on...
laundry
blogging (and reading)
writing thank you notes
putting clean clothes away
reading for my class
returning emails, phone calls
finishing my to-do list

I am blessed with...
cuddles
a wonderful husband who has taken over everything in the house, letting me care for Blue
two adorable, doting sisters
a healthy boy
family and friends who have brought meals and gifts
time off work
love
and more love

The Name

2012-01-30T18:16:00.017-05:00

Since Blue's name has been a hot topic of conversation, I figured I'd address that now, even before the birth story.
I hate to disappoint, but because we have decided to keep our names off this blog, I won't be posting Blue's name here. Since ultimately this is a space for our children to read later, I do want to tell the naming story though.
First, I have to say, I never thought that this naming (or lack of naming) business would turn into such a big deal. But, holy crap, people! What a big deal it was... but only to everyone else. We were fine with the fact that we were seriously stuck with the naming. Everyone else seemed to be in a unexplained tizzy. People were annoyed even. Angry. About a name.
The hospital staff was the worst. The techs and birth certificate lady were almost rude about it. They even threatened me with "Well, I'll just put baby boy on there." So. Go ahead. I'll just change it. They also tried to tell me that I had to name him before we left. Not true. We had thirty days. Sure, it would have involved more work once we came home, but it wasn't a big deal. Besides, were the techs and birth certificate lady coming home with me to deal with it? No, I think not.
And everyone else just drove us crazy with the never ending suggestions (that we weren't soliciting for). It wasn't that we couldn't think of a name, that wasn't the problem. Trust me when I tell you that we probably looked at and scoured every possible name option available. I'm sure there are only a few names we haven't heard at this point.
Anyway, we literally filled out the paperwork in the hour before we left the hospital. He was completely nameless for the first forty-eight hours.
The problem with the naming was that we couldn't figure it out. Everyone said, "Just wait until you see him, you'll know." Well, that didn't really help. Unless he was going to verbally tell us what to name him, looking at him wasn't particularly helpful. He looked like a baby. A baby without a name.
Bee and I each had a list. The problem was that we both didn't love the same names. Here was the bottom line. I liked Barrett. Bee liked Reid. I didn't love (or particularly like) Reid. Bee didn't love (or particularly like) Barrett. We weren't arguing about it, but neither of us could envision naming our child Reid (me) or Barrett (Bee). Both of us did like another name though. For both of us, "Blue" was a happy second choice. We could both live with "Blue," but neither of us LOVED "Blue." Hence the problem. In the end, we knew that we would never come to a consensus on a name that both of us just loved. But, since we both really liked "Blue," we decided that that name was the best we were going to get to agreeing. It's not that we settled, it's just that we knew that this was our reality. We weren't going to find a name we both loved. Period. So, "Blue" it is.

A Great Man

2012-01-29T18:14:00.000-05:00

This week has brought on a few realities of life. While we have been celebrating the birth of Blue and rejoicing in his life, I learned of my grandfather's imminent death on Wednesday morning, just a day after Blue was born. At eighty-nine, his health has been deteriorating slowly over the past few years and the last year in particular had been especially difficult for him.

Myself, cousin and little brother with our Papaw.

Yesterday, I got the call that I knew was coming. He had passed away. I am so happy that a little less than a year ago, the girls and I got the opportunity to visit with him while he was still able to get around and talk with us.

To say that he was an amazing man would be a gross understatement. Although I won't get into our family's history here, suffice it to say that he was a remarkable husband, father, grandfather and man. He was a shining example of what a man should be and I would be proud to know that Blue grew up aspiring to be the kind of man that he was.

Sadly, I won't be able to make the six/ seven hour trip down to the funeral. With my c-section pain and a newborn, it just isn't possible. It would also not be a great idea to expose Blue to my grandfather's four children, twenty grandchildren, seventeen great-grandchildren and their spouses. That's a lot of germs for a mere week old baby.
My Papaw will also be an example of what a loving, compassionate and selfless man is.

Cute Baby Saturday: From The Phone

2012-01-28T12:35:00.000-05:00

If you're friends with me on Facebook, you've seen all these already. For everyone else, here are a few pictures from my phone over the past few days (in no particular order).

Friday Night Leftovers (We're Home Edition)

2012-01-27T09:01:00.015-05:00

We came home yesterday. I had the option to stay an extra day and I didn't take it. What is wrong with me?
Thank goodness Jen posted for me yesterday.
I am so very tired. Shocker.
I am in pain. Shocker.
Halo swaddler blankets rock.
Bean has the stomach bug Tot had last week. Nice of them to let me sandwich Blue's birth in there.
Last night was an endless cycle of pooping, peeing, feeding, gas and crying. Oh, and Bean's puking.
Pain medication makes me itchy.
I am so in love with this darling, up all night, boy.
Now I must rest.

Guest Post- Valentine's Cards

2012-01-26T13:45:00.004-05:00

Hi, everyone! It's me, Jen from Here We Go Again. Did you know that Danifred had a baby like two days ago? Well, she did. So I am posting for her today so that she can do things like sleep. Sleep is good. I like sleep.

Anyway, in honor of her brand new shiny baby, I decided to talk about...Valentine's Day. That's right! I know, you are excited. Don't worry, I will explain why. This totally makes sense. So Danifred has this tiny (giant) new baby and also a little girl in Kindergarten. And when you are in Kindergarten, you have to bring the Valentine's cards into class. One for each person. (And don't forget anyone, or we got in trouble when I was growing up.) So I am writing this post for Tiny Prints so that Tot can take some fancy Valentine's cards into her class without Danifred having to do much work at all, since she's all busy with that aforementioned baby.

So, now that we've got that explanation and disclaimer (Tot gets free cards because I wrote this) out of the way, let's move on!

Do you remember Valentine's Day parties in elementary school? I always got a stack of those tear out cards, mostly signed (but some kids forgot). They would be in those cheap little white paper envelopes and the best ones would be lumpy, meaning that there was one of those little conversation hearts in there. I was always really excited when the card was lumpy, even though I never did like those hearts. Even as a kid, I thought they were awful. I liked a nice tootsie roll lollipop. (In modern times, I prefer expensive chocolate, if you feel like sending me anything.)

So, why don't you check out Tiny Prints' Valentine Cards and tell me which one you would choose? And which one do you think Danifred ought to choose for Tot to take to school with her?

If you are interested, here is where to find Tiny Prints on Twitter, on Facebook, and on Pinterest.

Questions From Tot and Bean

2012-01-25T07:19:00.007-05:00

*Today's blog entry was set to post days and days ago. Regularly scheduled programming to resume soon*

Over the past nine months I kept track of some of the questions that Tot and Bean had about the baby. Enjoy!

Tot:
Does the baby cry in there?
Does the baby in your belly like spicy (foods)? A little spicy or a lot spicy?
Can we bring the baby to a restaurant?
Does the shower hurt the baby?
Can we name it Jesse if it's a boy?
How'd it get in there?
How does it get out?
If you hit your belly does it hurt the baby?
Does the baby eat what you eat?
Do we have to wait to after Christmas to see it?
How old will the baby be when it's born?
Can the baby hear your voice?
Can the baby hear me?
What can we name the baby?
Does the baby like the waves (at the beach)?
Is the baby growing?
Does the baby like green grapes? Red grapes?
Does the baby like crabs? Mushrooms?
Can the baby hear the thunder?
Is it getting big?
Can you swim if you have a baby in your belly?
(Pointing to my belly button) Is that his penises?
Does he have clothes on?
Is he wearing a diaper?
Does he pee in there?
(While packing for my trip to Arizona) Will the baby go on the airplane with you?
When the baby is first born, will the baby have ears?
Will the baby be tiny?
Will our baby have blond hair?
Will it have little ears?
What will the baby eat?
How does milk get out of your boobies?
Is the baby moving right now?
Will I be six when the baby comes?
Where will the baby sleep?
Will the baby chew our books?

Bean:
Do you have a heart in your belly?
How's your baby today? (while rubbing baby and asked almost daily)
Can I have a baby in my belly?
Can grown ups have babies?
Is the baby being good?
Is it scared?
Is the baby happy in there?
Is he kicking?
I can't see it in there!
Does the baby like me?
Is the baby scared? Are there monsters in there?
Is the baby crying?

Blue

2012-01-24T18:34:00.001-05:00

We are both doing well.
NINE pounds, twelve ounces.
Twenty and a half inches.
Born about 11:30 this morning.
Still no name.
Nursing, sleeping, just being cute.

Randomness

2012-01-23T08:52:00.000-05:00

A few random thoughts are the only way I'm getting through a blog post today.

I managed to get every thing on my list done before going in tomorrow.

I am set to check in at the hospital at 8:45 tomorrow morning. I will try to post whenever I get the chance, probably just enough to say that we are well. I promise nothing. If you follow Sippy Cups on Facebook, that might be your best chance to know what is going on unless you know me IRL.

We don't have a name picked out. We don't even have a choice of two names. Or three. This will be interesting.

I spent some time yesterday alone with Tot. We don't get much one on one time anymore. We enjoyed a trip looking around at the toy store and a little Starbucks, including a Toffee Nut Latte for me and a pink doughnut for her.

We made it through forty-eight hours without another person getting the stomach bug. Tot still isn't a hundred percent, but, thankfully, no one else has gotten sick.

In order to prepare for the fact that my classes start this week, I've already read three weeks ahead. I've had to stop for fear that I'd forget what I read by the time classes rolled around.

Because I am so antsy, I read The Hunger Games in two days. I haven't read a pleasure book since last summer, and before that? I don't know. I plan on reading Catching Fire next. I'm pushing my luck.

I think that's about all I have for today.

Until tomorrow...

My Ceiling Tile

2012-01-22T09:02:00.003-05:00

(First section originally posted on Vera Verita after my twelve week sonogram appointment)
When I went in for my sonogram at week twelve, I cried before it even got started. I couldn't help myself because I was petrified. My doctor went on to tell me the story of the man and his ceiling tile.
A man, a very healthy and wealthy and happy man, was sitting at his desk working, just like he did every day of his entire life. One day, a ceiling tile fell from his ceiling and hit him on the head. He wasn't hurt, but he lost control. The ceiling tile changed everything for him. Suddenly, he became consumed with wondering what else could happen if a ceiling tile could fall on his head while sitting at his desk.
The point? Once a ceiling tile hits you on the head, it's hard not to worry about the "what else?"

I don't know if it's because I feel lucky, or blessed, or fortunate to have all the that we have, but I'm scared about Tuesday.
Maybe it's the miscarriage or the never ending struggles to have these children. Either way, I'm scared.
I'm scared there won't be a safe delivery. I'm scared about not having a healthy baby.
I'm just scared.
I just want to see his face. Hold his hands. Count his toes. Watch his little chest rise and fall as he sleeps.
Tuesday seems like a thousand days away right now.

Cute Baby Saturday: From The Archives

2012-01-21T20:38:00.000-05:00

Friday Night Leftovers (The Pre-Delivery and Stomach Bug Edition)

2012-01-20T10:14:00.002-05:00

Tot started vomiting last night. It's official. She has a stomach bug. This is not good, not good at all for us.
I am now petrified. Petrified, terrified that either Bee or I will catch this. Not to downplay how badly Tot feels, but seriously, I must be well. This baby must be delivered.
Sometimes I wonder what the heck people are thinking when they post their crap to Facebook. I always wonder what life will be like for our girls with social networking taking over the world. I'm sure scary would be accurate.
The quickest way to ensure that the girls get out from under my feet and play with their toys is to order them into the playroom to clean up. It always ends with playing. And no cleaning.
I can't wait to wear normal clothes again. I was in Kohl's the other day and almost salivating over some "normal" shirts.
Do you hear that? I'm pretty sure it was Ann Taylor Loft calling my name. I can hear you ATL, I hear you!
I don't know why our county pretends to have school this month. Christmas break, MLK day, two half days for exams, two days for teacher workdays, throw in a snow day (or more) and why bother? Naturally, one of those off days is next Tuesday, delivery day.
Have I mentioned I'm having a baby next week? Weird.

Thirty Eight and A Half

2012-01-19T23:19:00.000-05:00

We're getting close to the final hurrah. These pictures do not do justice to how big I am. I have gained forty pounds, all wrapped up in that little ball I'm carrying around in the front of my belly. We're just days away now. Thirty-eight and a half weeks with just four more days to go!

Exhaust The Little Moment

2012-01-18T07:24:00.001-05:00

Exhaust the little moment.

Soon it dies.

And be it gash or gold it will not come

Again in this identical guise.

- Gwendolyn Brooks

Life around here is about to change.

I know some days will be good.

I know some days will be bad.

Either way, I'm ready to remember them.

These upcoming infant days?

They will be my last to remember.

And these trying threes?

They won't last forever.

These five year old days?

Six is quickly approaching.

It is these moments I will remember.

Tasks

2012-01-17T06:55:00.000-05:00

On the one hand, I seem to think that I'm going to pop this baby out and go about my days. I figure I'll step right back into the day to day and acclimate to life with three kids without even flinching. In some warped way, I really do think this. I plan on attending class the following week (it IS my last semester, after all, wooo hoooo), I figure I'll be blogging, dealing with the girls and just, well, going about business. This is one side of my insanity.

On the other side of my insanity, I am planning for some major event. I am shopping and organizing and planning to the nth degree. My list has been endless and has included the following in this last week:

Schedule Dinner Done and pick up
~~Get car seat~~
~~Make weekly schedule for the girls~~
~~Haircut~~
Pedicure
Wax (these things are important, people!)
Organize frozen meals
Grocery store (On line Harris Teeter)
Bring cradle upstairs
~~Get pump~~
~~Find and clean pump accessories~~
~~Wrap big sister party gifts~~
~~Keep up with all laundry~~ (so far so good)
Write notes to both girls' teachers about upcoming birth
~~Finish busy bags~~
Charge camera battery
Clean floors
Complete last thank you cards
Decide on Blue's name

In the midst of all of this, I've decided to take some sick leave during my last few days of work. I have the time and I'm just spent. Besides, I have a whole list of things to do.