The Vicar of Hogsmeade

Fearless by Max Lucado

2009-09-08T00:41:00.002-05:00

I signed up to review books for Thomas Nelson. I'm kind of concerned about maintaining this blog as anonymous because of their sign up process and publishing requirements. But, nevertheless, I entered an agreement to read, review, and post in return for the free book. So, here's the review.

The best part of Fearless is exactly what is best in all of Max Lucado’s books: namely, great stories, vivid descriptions to make a point, and an easy read full of a God of love and grace. Lucado describes well the experience of many today, “Fear, it seems, has taken a hundred-year lease on the building next door and set up shop” (p. 5). It was via Twitter that I first read Lucado’s response to the shop set up by fear. “Fear never wrote a symphony or poem, negotiated a peace treaty, or cured a disease” (p. 5). Throughout the book, Lucado vividly describes the desolate and desperate landscape that over exaggerated fear says is our home then he reminds us that our home is created not by hands but eternal in heaven. For every tremor of fear, we have a God who repeatedly and continuously says, “Do not fear.” “For God has not given us a spirit of fear” (2 Tim. 1:7).

I have one major complaint about how Lucado addresses a grieving parent and the questions that come in the face of grief. He says that God understands because, “He buried a child too” (p. 61). I completely agree that God knows humans more fully and more compassionately than any other human can but I do not agree that God should be equated with humans in levels of grief. God is so much more powerful than any human and had options available that no human parent has. God’s choice to not use the power and options available does not equate to the depths of grief of a parent who has no options and no power. Further, while death is a transition to heaven, to say “For those who trust God, death is nothing more[emphasis mine] than a transition to heaven” (p. 64) sounds dismissive of those Christians who do trust God and, at the same time, have profound and devastating grief. The Psalms of lament might be a better choice for acknowledging the depths of grief and profound trust simultaneously.

However, even with this complaint, I think this book is a terrific reminder that “perfect love casts out fear” (I John 4:18). Regardless of the circumstances, God is with us, we are not alone.

Give me Jesus

2009-06-27T20:44:00.001-05:00

As I'm working on the texts for Sunday, with Jarius and his many resources, as well as, the bleeding woman and her few resources, I keep hearing this hymn. Where ever you are on the social ladder, what ever your situation in live, our hope is in the living Christ. Give me Jesus

RevGalBlogPals Friday Five: Friends

2009-05-15T16:08:00.002-05:00

Friday Five: Friends as posted by Jan

Ever since I found out I could be the hostess for the third Friday Five of each month, I have not been able to get the thought of friends out of my mind. Being an only child (all growed up) who moved around a lot in my lifetime, friends have always been very important to me. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote: "The way to have a friend is to be a friend."

So today let's write about the different kinds of friends we have, like childhood friends, lost friends, tennis friends, work friends, and the list goes on. List 5 different types of friends you have had in your life and what they were/are like.

As a bonus, put a link to a new (to you) blogging friend and introduce us!

1. Friends from "back home" I've lost touch with most of them except that a certain well know social networking site has brought some of them back into my life. It happens that I attended K-12 in a school system with only one each of elementary, jr high, & high school. There are 12 of us who went through all those grades together. And, yet, upon graduation, I lost touch with them. So that time suck social network site has brought back some folks.

2. Camp friends Starting in 4th grade I went to church camp every summer and even went as an adult while in college. I really appreciated some of those intense one week friendships. A few lasted a little longer through letters or occasional phone calls. I am amazed at the impact those folks had.

3. nearby clergy friends I have intentionally worked to have friends but in the circles I travel that means mostly clergy. I am grateful for my Lectionary Lunch group and other F2F clergy who are friends.

4. friends who were there For many different reasons during different seasons of my life, there have been the friends who were there. These days I don't talk to any of them very often but they still count as my closest friends because they already know the story from living it with me.

5. technologically connected friends Not surprisingly, there are RevGalBlogPals whom I consider friends. I also have folks that are on other technologically enabled means of connection that I consider, if not friends, close aquaintances. I've been on some preacher-type email lists since 98 or 99 and recognize the personalities even if I could not pick them out of a crowd of 3. Even without the visual, or in real life, connection, I consider them a part of my life, too. I have cried at the deaths of folks I only knew through the internet so I think they count.

Bonus, minus: I added a couple of folks that I follow because of BE 2.0 but I can't get the link to post correctly.

too long for twitter but worth repeating

2009-04-02T08:53:00.002-05:00

I saw this in a longer story about the church at The UM Portal and thought it was worth passing along.

A story tells of St. Francis of Assisi being escorted through the opulence of the Vatican vaults in Rome. The curate said: “See Francis! No longer must the church say with Peter and John, ‘Silver and gold have we none!’”

To which the saint responded, “But can you say with Peter and John, ‘Rise up and walk’?”

token post

2009-01-29T08:33:00.002-06:00

The good news is that I am actually typing this myself so there's physical improvement! I switched from Orencia which seems not to work very effectively for me (it seemed to have some benefit but not enough to decrease the "supportive bridge" medicines or to reach the prior level of functioning that had been reached on Humira or Remicade) to Enbrel. Yesterday was the 2nd dose of Enbrel so I don't know about the total amount of effectiveness yet. I have high hopes because it functions like Humira and Remicade both of which worked well for as long as they were effective.

The bad news is I am typing in a modified way because I have 3 stitches in the end of my ring finger. Other bad news is that the power supply on the desktop (faster with better keyboard) died. The new one arrived and the plug for the hard drive was the wrong kind. So no further training or use of DNS for now and limited typing before I have to quit.

And there have been more hospitalizations and serious illness since Christmas than in the last 6 months. So the dissertation is pathetically lagging. It almost seems like a conspiracy to keep me from working on it in any significant way.

Meanwhile, both girls are significantly involved in sports and music so life is incredibily busy. And, the small raise in salary helped me move forward in hiring, rather than merely wishing to hire, domestic goddesses!

I Need a Silent Night Amy Grant

2008-12-22T22:20:00.001-06:00

sounds like good stewardship to me

2008-12-12T08:24:00.000-06:00

"It is necessary to recover some basic dimensions of finances, that is, the primacy of labor over capital, of human relationships over mere financial transactions, of ethics over the sole criterion of efficacy."

-- Archbishop Celestino Migliore, the Vatican's permanent observer to the United Nations, on the global financial crisis (quoted by zenit.org)

What's been going on

2008-11-27T22:03:00.002-06:00

To make a long story long, I really need for Dragon naturally speaking to work correctly. So I have to train it. Therefore, you will get posts that are too long and have too much detail with the sole purpose being to help me train DNS.

I sincerely apologize for the drudgery, the whining, and the extraordinary amount of detail that is completely unnecessary. If you are looking for an upside: it does put something to read on my blog.

TMI Chapter 1: education

2008-11-27T22:02:00.001-06:00

I passed comprehensive exams!
I was convinced that I would receive conditions (conditions must be completed before beginning anything to do with the dissertation). I received a question that was dramatically different from what I was told to expect. When I finished answering the question asked, I knew that I would have a condition related to that. But I didn't.

There's a five person committee (professors from the department) that prepares the essay questions for each student. Most of the professors will communicate with the student and give some indication of the nature of the questions to be asked, the areas to be covered, or specific items that are “helpful” to know -- which usually means “memorize” this. In many ways, through professors and students, the repeated advice was “know” the theories and their theorists.

It was a huge compliment when, following the oral interview with all five professors, my chair said to me, “of all those sitting for comps this time, it was very clear you had the best grasp of theory." When I met with her a week later she asked, “has it sunk in yet?” I said, I keep wondering if they really meant it. And if maybe I got a “preacher pass.” She said, “let me assure you there is no such thing. You earned it.”

So now I am officially admitted to candidacy, and in dissertation phase. I'm working on clergy and grief. I'm still working on defining the parameters but if you would be willing to be considered for an interview say-so in the comments.

TMI Chapter 2: rheumatoid arthritis and “Big Dog” medicine

2008-11-27T22:01:00.001-06:00

The Remicade begin failing in the spring . Anticipating the need to change to a different biologic, my RA doctor gave me brochures for Orencia and Rituxan in June. And the head nurse was given instructions to begin the paperwork to get insurance approval. During the July appointment, approval in not yet been received and the doctor’s clinic had been bought out/merged with a larger group which required a completely different computer system, different billing department, different insurance department, different lab protocols, and different lab personnel.

By August the office changes were not as stressful. And, they had received insurance approval three days before my appointment day. good enough. So I started Orencia August 4 and had appointments at two week intervals for the first three doses. I found out that Orencia is a “slow load" During the first infusion (it is delivered via I. V.), and that results are not usually noticeable until three months. That was well past the date for comprehensive exams and I was quite concerned about my ability to function.
I was having pain that my doctor identified as nerve pain rather than the usual muscle and joint pain. I don't remember my RA being inflamed enough to add nerve pain during any previous flares. But once identified, Lyrica was added. It made a dramatic difference in three days time. It gave me, “Swiss cheese” brain but managed the pain.

So my thought processes were not what I wanted. I had significant difficulty walking, and my shoulders were very painful. But my hands were fine for typing and writing.

I'm now far enough into the dosing that I can tell it is working, but it's not fully effective yet. At least that's my hope; that I will continue to feel better. I still battle fatigue that is very thick. As a side note,. There was an interesting event that developed in October when the insurance declined to pay for the Orencia . Yes, The pre-approved medicine was denied. It is billed at $3000 per dose. I think it's straightened out now, but it made for some frustrating phone calls that involved too much Muzak and too many transfers with not enough clear answers.

All Saints

2008-11-01T20:07:00.000-05:00

When the Vietnam Memorial in Washington, DC was designed, there was a controversy over which design should be selected. A wonderful young Asian-American artist submitted an unusual design -- a partially buried, long wall of polished black granite. Most who saw the proposal did not like it at first. It did not look like a typical memorial. There were no heroic figures of warriors. There were no representative generals. All that was there were a long list of all those who had fallen in the American forces in Vietnam.

Thousands of names were listed, not in alphabetical order, for that would be like listing them in the phone book, but rather in the order of the date in which they fell.

If you have ever visited the Vietnam Memorial, you know that it has a stunning effect. The most memorable effects are those rows and rows of names. So many names. And there is an additional effect. As we stand at the wall, looking at the names, suddenly we realize that we see our won face reflected in the polished black granite. We stand there, looking at ourselves, our own reflection, our own face, with all the names of the dead.

In a way, this is what All Saints' is like. We remember the saints, all of them, not just the more notable martyrs, but your Sunday school teachers when you were a child, your parents, the preacher, all those who have preceded you in this church and in the faith. And yet, as we remember their names, we see ourselves reflected in them. We join the procession down through the ages. We take our places along with them. We focus on the saints and we see our own contemporary faces reflected in their names.

Friday Five from RevGalBlogPals

2008-11-01T00:02:00.002-05:00

Revgalblogpal Friday Five: Positive Potpourri Edition

as posted by will smama

Greetings friends! It's been awhile since I've contributed to the posts here at the revgalblogpals website, but I agreed to step into the Fifth Friday of the Month Friday Five slot.

So here I be.

As I zip around the webring it is quite clear that we are getting BUSY. "Tis the season" when clergy and laypeople alike walk the highwire from Fall programming to Christmas carrying their balancing pole with family/rest on the one side and turkey shelters/advent wreaths on the other.

And so I offer this Friday Five with 5 quick hit questions... and a bonus:

1) Your work day is done and the brain is fried, what do you do?

Watch a previously recorded episode of some tv show that I didn't have time to watch when it actually aired. maybe read a fiction book. maybe crochet -- but that one is a big maybe.

2) Your work week is done and the brain is fried (for some Friday, others Sunday afternoon), what do you do?

If it's Sunday, it's a nap. If it's Friday, it's a football game because the SportsQueen is in the marching band. If it's any other liberated time, geocaching! well, even if it's not liberated time, it's geocaching if I can.

3) Like most of us, I often keep myself busy even while programs are on the tv. I stop to watch The Office and 30 Rock on Thursday nights. Do you have 'stop everything' tv programming or books or events or projects that are totally 'for you' moments?

There are no "stop everything" tv programming events that's what the DVR is for. If it's totally "for me" it's probably sleep.

4) When was the last time you laughed, really laughed? What was so funny?

The best laugh I have had recently that was not generated by my family was listening to 3 daughters tell stories about their mom in preparation for her funeral. (I got called in because none of them are local but the cemetary plot next to her husband/their dad is here.) OMG, their mom was SO creatively funny. And the stories are unique enough that they would pop up on search engine radar so if you are that curious send me an email or call me.

5) What is a fairly common item that some people are willing to go cheap on, but you are not.

crutches. I have bright yellow powder coated crutches with brightly colored arm and hand pads with a detachable bag (my "crutchware" is no longer available so I'm not linking to a pic of them). I may have a body that requires the use of assistive devices but that does not mean I need to be boring about it. I got mine from LemonAid Crutches.

Bonus: It's become trite but is also true that we often benefit the most when we give. Go ahead, toot your own horn. When was the last time you gave until it felt good?

I was part of the very last minute help to serve food at our local homeless shelter. I didn't really have the time, like usual, there were others things to do. I got the phone call to please come help as I waited to pick up the SportsQueen from basketball practice. We went straight to the shelter. After serving, on the way to the car, the SportsQueen said, "Thanks, Mom. I really wanted to do that but I didn't think we were going to be able to. I'm really glad we came. Thanks."

Let us know in the comments if you played and I'll come around and visit. The first 50 are entered into a drawing for a new car (sorry, that's a lie. We are immersed in political attack ads here in the US that lie and so I thought I would join in). Seriously, go ahead and let us know if you play. I will visit. And buy you a new house (lie). The last person to do the Friday Five is a socialist and hangs out with computer viruses (STOP!). Do I qualify as a socialist???

comps outcome

2008-09-26T16:37:00.001-05:00

I passed comps! totally and completely!!!

I am officially in dissertation phase

ABD (all but dissertation)

And a doctoral candidate

too many what?

2008-08-29T18:43:00.003-05:00

If you follow this link , you will discover that my problem is too many Smurfs ...

how old are those researchers?12?

comprehensive exams begin in 3 weeks

2008-08-19T18:52:00.000-05:00

“If you are distressed by anything external,
the pain is not due to the thing itself,
but to your estimate of it;
and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
Marcus Aurelius

connections

2008-08-11T15:41:00.001-05:00

I subscribe to the Comic Strip "For Better or Worse" through my feed reader. Today's strip is about a wedding but the last panel made me think of Facebook. See what you think here

the application of theory update

2008-08-04T21:21:00.002-05:00

Today, I received the first dose of Orencia. Yeah! The insurance approval came through on Wed July 30 late in the afternoon. But the infusion nurse was out of the office on Thursday and Friday, so when I called on Friday to check the status of the request, the "office" nurse thought it was approved but not positive. I found out, for sure, when I got there this morning.

The first three doses are administered at two week intervals. The next doses are August 19 and September 3. Comprehensive exams begin September 9. Today, I was told that Orencia tends to have a slow start -- not exactly what I wanted to hear. How long? It may take 3 months to really tell the difference. The infusion nurse said a lot of her patients have told her they could tell the difference in 6 weeks.

side note: A long time ago, I thought I would be an MD. When I finally relented to the call that was so powerful, I said to God, "Fine. If I can't be an MD then I want to be a PhD." The timing and money fell into place for the PhD all the way up to this point.

So, at this point in the intersection of PhD and arthritis, I am consciously choosing to keep trying to study and adopting the mantra, "The God who brings you to it will bring you through it."

illustrated

2008-07-27T20:42:00.005-05:00

As requested by Cheesehead

software solutions update

2008-07-27T00:16:00.002-05:00

Things learned on a Saturday night:

The mouse wheel noise is "room room room room."
The headphone cord picks up movement and creates spontaneous editorial comments.
The on and off positions for the microphone icon are not appropriate for someone who is 12.
Sometimes commands become commentary.
Speaking louder does not increase understanding.
It does not recognize most of the seven words you can't say on tv.
Laughter is poorly translated into a repeated word. The word chosen is dependent on pitch.

Predicted outcome: I don't think it will significantly add time to my work after enough training has happened.

I see the resemblance

2008-07-26T18:46:00.003-05:00

HOW TO WRITE A SERMON

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place with a fully-charged laptop.

2. Read over the scripture carefully, to make certain you understand it.

3. Take a quick trip to Starbucks to buy some coffee to help you concentrate.

4. Make a quick call to clergy colleague to see if she's started her sermon, either. If neither of you has started, you might meet up somewhere for a quick bite to help you concentrate. If she casually says that she finished hers last Tuesday and was just brushing up on her delivery, hang up quickly and pray for the future of your friendship.

5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with with a fully-charged laptop.

6. Read over the scripture again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

7. Check your e-mail; reply to everyone who sent you messages.

8. You know, you haven't thought about your Jr. High band camp roommate in years... You'd better look her up on Facebook right now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

9. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.

10. Download that song you've been wanting to add to your collection, and that's it - I mean it - as soon as that's done you are going to start that sermon. (This, of course, involves digging out your iPod from your gym bag, which necessitates starting a load of laundry.)

11. Put together a photo slide show using new song as background. Send it to everyone you know.

12. Check your e-mail again. (Do not - EVER - read email from members of your congregation that arrive at this crucial time. No good will come of this.)

13. Head for the bookshelf to find inspiration. (Perhaps that illustration you need is in that blue book you bought at that conference and never read.) Organize your library so books will be easier to find in the future.

14. Phone a clergy colleague and ask if he's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your congregation, your D.S., your Bishop, and the Conference.

15. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with a fully-charged laptop.

16. Read over the scripture again; roll the words across your tongue; savor their special flavor.

17. Check your e-mail to make sure no-one sent you any urgent messages since the last time you checked. Check Facebook while you're at it. It might be your turn to play Scrabulous!

18. Check the listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a sermon due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from Masterpiece Theater to Sgt. Preston of the Yukon is truly worthwhile. Hey, there might be a sermon illustration lurking on that infomercial!

19. Check Facebook again. Maybe that friend from Jr. High accepted your friend request.

20. Phone your clergy friend to see how her sermon's going. Make fun of other sermons you read posted on the Internet.

21. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

22. Check Facebook. Maybe someone wrote on your wall. Challenge a friend to a Scrabulous game.

23. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

24. Open your door and see if it's too cloudy for stars tonight.

25. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with a fully-charged laptop.

26. Read over the scripture one more time. Perhaps you missed something earlier.

27. Put the laundry in the dryer. Make a list of things you must buy at the store tomorrow.

28. Check your e-mail. Put your new photo slideshop on your MySpace page.

29. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

30. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

31. Leap up and write your sermon.

edited later: I got this from an email forward from another clergywoman

Friday Five twofer from RevGalBlogPals

2008-07-25T19:58:00.003-05:00

Friday Five: What You Absolutely, Positively, Can't Leave Home Without

as posted by Singing Owl on July 25, 2008

We will be at a chaplain's convention when you all are answering the Friday Five Questions. I'll look forward to reading your answers next week when I get home. At the moment we are trying to get the car loaded so we can hit the road, so this will be a simple F.F. This running around madly in order to leave has me wondering: what are the five things you simply must have when you are away from home? And why? Any history or goofy things, or stories?
1. books
2. medication
3. gps loaded with geocaches
4. laptop
5. if traveling with children, dvds and player

Multiple time events in our family:

When I was a child going to spend the night with grandparents, I would "forget" to pack pajamas because then I got to sleep in one of grandpa's t-shirts.

When the SportsQueen packed her own clothes (for multiple days), no socks were included even though she needed them.

When the Entertainer travels, there is a stuffed animal that goes along. She has also traveled via the United States Postal Service, FedEx, and UPS.

The Friday Five: What's in a name?

as posted by RevHRod on July 18, 2008

If you are a regular reader of Songbird's blog, you know that "The Princess" has requested a new name. Her older brother changed his "secret identity" a while back and now this lovely young lady is searching for a new name on her mother's blog. This got me to thinking. How do we come up with all of these names? There must be at least a few good stories out there.

In honor of the Princess I have posted a picture of one of my favorite members of fictional royalty, Robert Munch's "Paperback Princess." She is a brave young woman who doesn't need anyone else to fight her battles. And she knows that what is most important isn't tiaras and finery but what's on the inside. If you haven't read this little fairy tale, I highly recommend it. But I digress.

BONUS: We LOVE the Paperbag Princess! "hey dragon" for a great review and telling of the story click here

1. So how did you come up with your blogging name? And/or the name of your blog?

Well, the Vicar part came from Vicar of Dibley and trying to be geographically appropriate for the place. The place is the "hometown" for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. While some Christians have criticized the Harry Potter books for various "anti-Christian" themes, it was apparent to me from the first book that the themes and values share a deep affinity with Christianity if they are not based on Christianity (which I really think they are). I'd like to think that somewhere in the back story the Vicar of Hogsmeade was a regular part of the lives of many of the faculty at Hogwarts even if not so involved with the students.

2. Are there any code names or secret identities in your blog? Any stories there?

The names have been changed to protect whomever needs protecting. Generally, they reflect characteristics or they are the first lame pseudonymn I could create.

3. What are some blog titles that you just love? For their cleverness, drama, or sheer, crazy fun?

preacher, blogger, procrastinator
St. Casserole
Cheesehead in paradise
cafe diem (it's about coffee)
skewed view (one of the re-occuring conversations in my PhD program is about how we all have a skewed view but some of us are better at identifing ours)

4. What three blogs are you devoted to? Other than the RevGalBlogPals blog of course!

I use bloglines to keep track of them all.

5. Who introduced you to the world of blogging and why?

Mostly it was RevGalBlogPals. I wanted to answer a Friday Five but I didn't have a blog. So I started one to tell about how I got to play Jesus in a Southern Baptist church.

Bonus question: Have you ever met any of your blogging friends? Where are some of the places you've met these fun folks? I was on BE 1.o. And I met Mid-Life Rookie because of an obsure reference to a place that closed several years ago.

software solutions

2008-07-24T16:08:00.004-05:00

In an attempt to reconcile myself with the functionality of my body and my need to produce documents, I have obtained a well known voice recognition software program. This is proof that it really does work pretty well.

On the advice of Disability Services at the University where I am scheduled for comps, I was exploring the software options before the most recent arthritis concern. Just in case. Now, I think that was pretty good advice. The software package came with a wired microphone headset that seems to work well. However, if I upgrade to a Bluetooth headset microphone, I can even wander around while writing.

I guess the next thing to do is to write my sermons with this program. So then I will get used to it before I have to take comps.

The most awkward thing so far is actually speaking my thoughts out loud. I'm so used to typing my thoughts that speaking them is odd.

And then there's the editing, I don't have it completely figured out yet. But a few mouse movements and keyboard strokes go a long way.

when the theory applies

2008-07-19T15:14:00.003-05:00

The Theory
Excerpted from Ask the Expert (While this refers to psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and the facts here are also applicable to me.)

"All 3 anti-TNF medications (etanercept [ Enbrel ], adalimumab [ Humira ], and infliximab [ Remicade ]) have been shown to be amazingly effective and safe in the treatment of psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis. However, a few important anti-tumor necrosis factor (TNF) realities must be appreciated, all gleaned from a worldwide experience with these wonderful new medications over these past 5 years: [huge snip of of points 1 and 2 which also apply but aren't the particular focal point for this post]

All of the anti-TNFs may "run out of gas" to one degree or another after 2-3 years, and some type of medication switch or dose change is needed. "

The Application
Two years ago I maxed out the dosage while losing effectiveness for Humira and switched to Remicade. Now I am 0.5 mg/kg short of maxed out on dosage for Remicade and I am very clear that it is no longer effective. (My methotrexate has increased and I am very clear that it is providing as much relief as it can. But it's kinda like a 4-cylinder car trying to do the work of an 8-cylinder truck.) My next dose is scheduled for the first week of August. Depending on insurance, I may receive a new medication by then (probably Orencia). I am so clear about the lack of effectiveness of the Remicade that I called my RA's office on Friday to make sure the paperwork with the insurance company is being done. I rarely follow up with them because they are so efficient. That phone call really was a reflection of my anxiety.

Let me elaborate. The anxiety is driven, in no small part, by the fact that I am scheduled to sit for comprehensive exams for my PhD in September. A delay in the paper work or approval by insurance means a deteriorating ability to study which is already compromised by "brain fog." "Brain fog" is one of those things that you usually learn about from others taking methotrexate not the doctors, although some of them do tell you. Brain fog tends to occur close to the dosage day and your brain is slower, better with recognition than recall, and sometimes stuff is just gone. As you move away from the dosage day, clarity returns. With the increase of the methotrexate, I've had an increase in side effects that my body had pretty much adapted to on the lower dosage so I've had a return of brain fog that I was kinda used to not having. And, further more, since the Remicade is failing, I am noticing the drop off of the relief provided by the methotrexate toward the end of the week. So when I don't have brain fog, I have pain -- which isn't so conducive to thinking either.

So now, already overwhelmed with the task of organizing and studying for comps, I have added brain fog, pain, and fatigue. So, am asking for you to pray for these things: 1) that the paperwork is completed in a timely manner and the insurance approves the switch for the first week of August; 2) that I can set aside the "overwhelmedness" long enough to get some focus for the organization needed to study; and, 3) that I can actually have productive study time.

And applications for study buddies are open now.

planting seeds

2008-07-16T18:19:00.000-05:00

The more I read and hear about Josh Hamilton the more impressed I am with Johnny Narron, Clay Council, and Josh's family, especially his grandmother.

While there's not as much information about Clay Council and his relationship with Josh, I'm thinking that a 71 year old who still pitches batting practice for teenagers has got some influence on the lives of young people. Obviously, Josh remembered him enough to ask him to pitch for the Home Run Derby.

John Donne got it right: No one is an island.

well said

2008-07-15T19:06:00.001-05:00

Elizabeth Edwards wrote an incredible article reflecting on the death of Tony Snow. Be sure you read it