Role Model

I'm Just Sayin...

2011-11-03T01:39:00.000-04:00

I know this product has been out for a while, and is probably doing well since I still see many ads for it, but something just dawned on me when I was watching a commercial for Mio today. I think their ad should go like this...

MIO... The colorful way to rufie someone's drink!

I'm just sayin....

Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think. Thank you!

Queen Pat My Own Back

2011-10-26T00:41:00.001-04:00

My daughter wanted to be Glenda the Good Witch this Halloween. I went to the fabric store and got the pattern. A week later I took the little monster back to the fabric store to pick out material for the costume. All of the fabric she wanted to get was pink and more pink. Glenda does not have a pink dress, it's peach. Being the perfectionist, stick to the facts sort of gal that I am, I couldn't let her be a pink Glenda. I know, I know, I should have let her be a pink Glenda. It's just a Halloween costume. Perhaps I have a slight touch of OCD because I couldn't do it. A pink Glenda would have made me nuts, it just isn't right. So I explained the facts to my munchkin and convinced her to let me make her a pink princess costume instead. We bought a new pattern. I must say that I made a damn good princess costume. Check it out.

Cutey Pah-tootey!!! She had the best costume at her dance studio Halloween party. The other girls in their store bought princess costumes paled in comparison to my little princess. It's definitely worth the pink glitter that has made it's way into every crevice and cranny of my home and car. Even the baby has had pink glitter stuck to her face, feet, and hair since the making of this get up. Oh well, my philosophy is everything looks better with glitter or rhinestones. Happy Halloween!!!

Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think. Thank you!

Not Now! Mommy's Blogging.

2011-10-16T11:28:00.001-04:00

"Mommy-hood changes things...and that's great. In fact that is the way it should be if everyone would take it seriously. But I feel as though there are an aweful lot of mommies out there that sugar coat being a mom. In my opinion, not all things about being a mommy are peaches and cream and I feel like it's taboo to talk about that."

An excerpt from a Coffee Beans and Daydreams post. Click the link to see the full post. 

http://coffeebeansdaydreams.blogspot.com/2011/10/mommy-hood-changes-things.html

Geez, where do I begin? First of all, not most things about being a mommy are peaches and cream. I have two daughters ages three and one. Of course I love them with every ounce of my being but some days I wish my name wasn't "MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY!" Some times I even declare that my name isn't mommy anymore. Who's mommy? It never works. They never go away. That's not correct, let me rephrase it: They never go away unless they are up to something. Silence equals mischief, don't ever forget that. Sometimes I sneak up on the three year old to see what she's getting into. There are days when I will not yell at her for squeezing the contents of an entire tube of toothpaste into her hair. Instead, while she styles her minty fresh do, I tip toe away before she sees me and enjoy the peace and quiet.

My first daughter was such a mellow baby. She went with the flow and rarely caused problems. Sure she got into things, like every baby does, but she listened when I told her "no" and only cried when she actually needed something like food or a diaper change. Well, she grew out of that. Now she's three going on a really obnoxious twenty. The other day she was playing in the front yard and I peeked my head out the door to check on her. I was greeted with a "What do ya want ya pesky old lady!?" I went back inside wondering if she would ever know how cool I am. I used to be anyway. Focus on the "used to be." So now my once chill infant is now a sass-a-frassing (back talking) smart ass.

Having one child that tends to be a typical three year old with the vocabulary of a ten year old wouldn't be that bad, but then Jerkalope baby came home from the hospital. I came up with the name because calling my baby a jerk behind her back is one thing, I couldn't say that to her face. Now this baby is probably the cutest you will ever see. I've had women stop me and tell me that they thought their child was cute but mine was cuter. I have a theory about this; the cuter the baby, the bigger the problem they are going to be. Being cute is just a survival mechanism they are born with. If they were ugly and jerky? Not a good outcome.

I have an extremely high maintenance child. Her pediatrician told me when she was four months old that it was rare but she was having infant temper tantrums. She told me I needed to sit her down, look her in the eyes, and very sternly tell her she doesn't run the show. I left the Dr.'s office convinced the doc was nuts. Who in their right mind would do that to a four month old? It almost sounds like emotional abuse. Every person I told about what the Pediatrician said had the same reaction I did. Everyone thought she was crazy and couldn't imagine sitting a four month old down for a chat. I should have had the chat with the baby. The pediatrician was right. Now when she gets mad because she isn't getting what she wants she just tries to kill herself. I'm not kidding. She holds her breath while crying until she passes out and falls over. The last time she was out for about ten seconds. I was realizing how difficult it is to call 911 with a Blackberry while experiencing sheer panic when the little runt came to. Thank God! That particular episode began because I walked past her and didn't pick her up. Well, she got what she wanted and scared the crap out of her father and I, a two-fer! Now every time she cries we have to stop everything and decipher what kind of cry she's belting out just to make sure she isn't going to fall out and knock herself into a concussion or worse.

The fun never ends and these kids never cease to amaze me with the amount of things they can do to make me insane. At this rate, by the time they are in elementary school I will be an institution rocking myself in a corner mumbling "That's one... that's two... if I get to three you're going in time out...That's one... that's two... if I get to three you're going in time out...That's one...that's two...if I get to three..."

I could go on but I've made my point. Being a mom isn't peaches and cream at all, unless peaches and cream smells like poop and tastes like formula. It's hard and you can't escape no matter how well you plan the get away. But I couldn't imagine my life with out the two munchkins. And look at the bright side, when they are teenagers they won't hang out near you even if you paid them.

Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think. Thank you!

Do you want to buy a duck?

2011-10-15T01:00:00.000-04:00

2 FAMILY GARAGE SALE!!!! - $1 (Midland)

Date: 2011-10-07, 12:18PM EDT
Reply to: sale-vj7zp-2637382798@craigslist.org

2 FAMILY GARAGE SALE HAPPENING THIS WEEKEND!

Baby clothes and gear: girl's clothing, walker, jumparoo, swings, exersaucers, toys, etc.

Outdoor play set, Kegerator conversion kit, women's designer purses, dishes, end tables, lamps, kitchen items, and much much more!!!

SATURDAY 8AM-4PM
SUNDAY 10AM-2PM

4700 and 4704 Hampshire Ct.
Midland, Mi 48640

Location: Midland

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

	PostingID: 2637382798

On Saturday I got up at the crack of 7am and drank as much coffee as I possibly could while I finished putting hangers in the kids clothes. Our sale started at 8am but at 7:30am I spotted a dark blue vehicle rolling to a stop in front of my neighbor's house. A lady that appeared to be in her mid-forties stepped out of the car revealing to the world her stone washed jeans and matching jacket. About half a second later, her 80's mall bangs made it out of the car too. I think I shouted something to the effect of "you gotta be kidding me!" The original version involved a word or two that really weren't necessary considering the fact that the lady was a potential customer. It was early though and I tend to be a little hostile in the morning when someone messes with my chi. The woman made a bee line to the display of designer hand bags I had covered with a sheet the night before. She tore the sheet back and proceeded to rifle through them as if they were in her way and she was really trying to get at what ever was underneath them. At that point I was standing in my living room with a cup of coffee in one hand and a "Does this diaper make my butt look big?" onesie in the other, staring outside through the picture window trying to figure out how someone could achieve such perfect, gianormous, 80's hair at 7 o'clock in the morning.

I headed out the door to see if the lady needed any help finding the bottom of the purse pile. I realized, after she declined needing any help and left without looking at any other items we were selling, she must have read my Craigslist ad and came specifically to see the bags. She wasn't looking for something hidden beneath them, she was following the scent of expensive European hand-crafted leather. She was like a police dog on the trail of a dope bag only she was sniffing out Versace, Prada, Gucci, and Coach bags. I didn't have those brand names for sale, but a few days earlier I did have a Coach purse in the same bag with the rest of them. She must have picked up on the lingering aroma.

After the bag lady left, I put the hand bags back in order and organized some items on my sales table, then remembered that I still had clothes to hang and price tags to attach. I ran inside to grab the boxes of clothes and when I returned to my post a few minutes later there were several people arriving to turn our junk into their glorious treasure.

Things went slowly at first. I was really bummed, it wasn't like the weekend two weeks prior when people were camped out before 7am and our street was so jammed with cars that it took me almost half an hour to pull my car out of the driveway. The first handful of customers hadn't read our ads in the paper and on Craigslist so they were not aware that we had only girls clothes and baby gear. I tried to work my charm and get an older gentleman to buy my husband's obsolete law school texts but he was no fool. His wife, however did buy two hats from me. There was a bright red leather hat I bought during a visit to Las Vegas years ago, it looked like a cross between a fedora and a bucket hat. A feducket or a buckdora. The second hat was one I purchased when I moved to Detroit to attend art school just after finishing high school. It was a panama hat with a mustard, raspberry, and turquoise burned velvet floral pattern. If you are thinking that sounds hideous that is the correct thought. The lady who bought them was a small grey haired woman in her late sixties. She was pleasantly strange, a little out of it, and at the very least, eccentric. I could see myself having a cocktail or two with her, she would be wearing one of the hats.

The day went on and we sold a lot of stuff. Almost all of the baby clothes sold within the first two hours of the day. I got rid of some other baby gear but nobody wanted the other items I had. I thought for sure that someone would want the black hard shell Samsonite suitcase, woman's 26" Huffy bike, and the dehumidifier. Or how about the Christmas tree stand? Come on, it's almost Christmas. The brand new Intex pool filter? Nope. I was bummed but still managed to make about one-hundred and forty dollars so I couldn't complain too much. Plus some weird guy, that had to ask his mom for the money, bought two old brass lamps that I had no room for in my house.
I posted this on Craigslist after we closed up shop that evening.

RIDICULOUSLY HUGE YARD SALE!!! - $1 (MIDLAND)

Date: 2011-10-08, 5:38PM EDT
Reply to: sale-mbabt-2639677557@craigslist.org

Big, huge, enormous 2 family yard sale!! We have more baby items than you could imagine in one yard. No price is set in stone. Don't miss out, there's only 1 day left. We still have items that you want, such as;

Little Tikes 8-in-1 Adjustable Playground = $125
Baby gear = walkers, bouncy seats, exer-saucers, door frame jumpers, high chairs, swings, cribs, etc.
Baby Ride On Toys = Little Tikes Cozy Coupe, Disney Princess Ride On Toy, Fisher Price Dora Lil Quad Power Wheels Car, etc.
Baby clothes & shoes = girls, new born to 3T. Clean, cute, in style.
Children's Toys of all sorts = video games, puzzles, action dolls, etc.
Women's designer purses = Kathy VanZeeland, Stone Mountain, The Sak, Hype, and more.
Huffy Women's 26" Blades Bicycle, 6 speed index.
Great wooden giraffe coat stand for kids room
Dehumidifier
End Tables, wood
Coffee Table, wood small
Dishes = Correll Wear, Wine Glasses, Ceramic pitcher, serving bowl, and 4 berry bowl set, etc.
Books = Law books, fiction, etc.

We will be open tomorrow (Sunday, October 9) from 10am to 2pm. The first person to mention this ad will receive the prize displayed below.

See you there!
4700 Hampshire Ct.
Midland, 48640

Location: MIDLAND
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2639677557

The next day was kind of slow. A family that moved to town because the husband's job was transferred bought pretty much all of the baby stuff that was left. The couple had a son about four years old and the wife was pregnant with a girl. They were originally from Russia but had moved twelve times in twelve years because of the husband's jobs. He told me that every time they had to move they would have a yard sale of their own and sell everything. They would pack two suitcases each and start all over again in a new house and a new city and often a new country. He said he was an engineer but I suspect that he was a spy or maybe in the witness protection program. He probably could have killed all of us at the same time with one single pinch to the neck. It's a good thing they liked what we were selling.

Eventually it came out that most of our Sunday customers had seen the Craigslist ad but were purposely not mentioning the duck. Apparently, the photo I posted made the duck look a lot smaller than it really was. Mission accomplished. In reality, the duck stood about three feet tall and stretched four feet in length. I attempted several times to give the duck away and everyone refused. One couple came in and hadn't seen the duck yet. I asked if they might want to take a look at it and they said that they would, and as a matter of fact, they had a rather extensive duck collection at home. I took them over to where the giant lump of yellow fur was resting. The couple took one look at it, and do you know what they said? "Oh, we already have that duck." The odds of that ever happening again, I'm sure, are slim to none.

The last of the customers left around three, I packed up the things I couldn't sell and dragged them into our second garage, which one of the previous owners slapped onto the side of the house. (That's another story for another time.) Maybe I'll have better luck next spring when I test my luck at yard sale number two. I'll keep you posted.

Just An Average Psychopath

2011-10-11T21:33:00.000-04:00

Just an Average

Psychopath… By Allison P. Slep

Michael Myers(8)


Jeffrey Dahmer(7)

Most people hear the word psychopath and immediately think of famous serial killers or the main character in a horror movie. It is easy to see why Jeffery Dahmer, the cannibal, or Michael Myers, from the Halloween movies, could be dubbed a psychopath. These men are crazed murderers. It is examples like this that have caused the words psychopath and killer to practically be synonymous to one another. Everyone knows that not all people who murder are psychopaths. What many don’t know is that there are psychopaths all around us that aren’t killing. Average psychopaths that don’t make the headlines for murdering numerous people are still causing as much harm to the lives of people they come in contact with in other ways. This average psychopath could be your ex-girlfriend, your boss or your neighbor. You could be related to one or sitting next to one in a class. People with this condition are not easy to spot, they seem normal. By the time you have figured out what they really are it is usually too late and your life will be changed forever.

The terms psychopath, sociopath and antisocial personality are interchangeable in the mental health field. The condition was first identified by James Cowles Prichard in 1837 as “Moral Insanity”. A person with this disorder was described as seeming to have no conscience, harms others and shows no remorse (Intro to Psych., p 346). Today the psychiatric term that is used is “Antisocial Personality Disorder”. The “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4^th Edition” is the book used by mental health professional to diagnose mental disorders. This book tells us that ASPD is a condition characterized by a persistent disregard, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in early adolescence and continues into adulthood (Long, Phillip W. M.D). In 1980 a diagnostic tool was developed to identify, specifically, psychopaths. Robert Hare, professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia, came up with the “Psychopathy Checklist”. This is a standard instrument for researchers and clinicians worldwide (Stout, Martha). The psychological diagnosis of “Psychopath” overlaps with the psychiatric diagnosis of “Antisocial Personality Disorder”. The difference is that ASPD requires a history of delinquency during adolescence and psychopath does not. Some clinicians believe there is a difference between a psychopath and a sociopath. The difference being that a psychopath is better able to fit in socially than a sociopath, who would appear obviously uncomfortable. It is thought that psychopathology is genetic whereas sociopathology is developed as a result of abuse or neglect during childhood (Long). It really doesn’t matter what term is used to describe an individual with this condition. Both labels share the same traits.

“Everyone, including the experts, can be taken in, manipulated, conned and left bewildered by them.” – Robert Hare

This is a chilling quote coming from the man who wrote the book, literally, about psychopaths. How can we protect ourselves from this type of individual? What are the signs we should look for? Unfortunately, it is not easy to tell if someone is antisocial. The people who have this condition are very charming and manipulative. They don’t want you to know the person they really are. You must be very careful about who you let into your life. The only way to really know someone is to take time getting to know them.

The common characteristics exhibited by an individual that can be diagnosed “Antisocial” or labeled a “Psychopath” are the same. They are amusing and entertaining conversationalists, always ready with a witty response. They are amazing storytellers. While the stories may seem unlikely, they are convincing and always casting themselves in a good light (Hare, Robert). Often attractive and likable, psychopaths come across as exciting and confident people. So what’s the problem? This sounds like an ideal person to be friends with. In fact, these are probably the most common qualities people are seeking on any dating site you find; attractive, funny and confident. It is the perfect disguise. When you look for what is underneath the disguise you will begin to notice the ugly truth. What you thought was self-confidence is actually narcissism. Psychopaths have an extremely inflated sense of self-worth and importance. Caring only for themselves, they have such a sense of entitlement that they are justified in living by their own rules. Violating the rights of others is second nature. Combine this with a lack of concern for the effects their actions have on others and you have a pretty dangerous individual. This person is willing to do anything to get what they want and can rationalize any way they choose to get it. They are skilled liars and proud of it. When a psychopath is caught in a lie, they simply change the story or twist the facts so they appear consistent with the original lie. Deception and manipulation are main features of this disorder. Getting caught doesn’t even faze them. These individuals feel no remorse or guilt and have a very limited range and depth of emotions (Hare). They learn to display emotions by observing the way others react and behave. It’s as if they are acting in a play. These characteristics alone are scary. Add in a tendency for sudden violence due to weak inhibitory controls and a need to live in the fast lane and you’ve got a ticking time bomb of a person. Psychopaths bore easily and don’t tolerate routine. This makes it difficult for them to keep a job or honor commitments to others. When they do work they are frequently absent and misuse or steal money from the company. Most end up with criminal convictions of all sorts. They tend to try every crime instead of having a “specialty” (Hare). Beginning in childhood, rules and expectations of society seem inconvenient so they just ignore them. Not all psychopaths wind up in jail, however. Many go through life below the radar of the law. Many don’t commit crimes but do things that are unethical and immoral. The things that people with a conscience would never do.

It is thought that 4% of the population has this condition of having little to no conscience (Stout, 8). This may sound like a tiny fraction of people but when compared to other disorders and illnesses it is quite alarming. 1% of the population has schizophrenia, a well known disorder (Intro..., 344). There are 100 times as many sociopaths as there are people that have colon cancer. Perhaps most frightening, the percent of the population diagnosed with anorexia is 3.43%. Anorexia is known as nearly epidemic (Stout, 8). Chances are, you know or have met more than one psychopath in your life.

There has been over a century of study and decades of research on the subject of psychopathy. The disorder still remains a mystery. The cause is still not known for sure. There are several theories regarding genetic and biological factors as well as a faulty early social environment and a combination of both (Hare). Recent studies have shown that the functioning of the amygdala and ventromedial prefrontal cortex and their interaction with one another are compromised in individuals with the disorder. The amygdala is the part of the brain where punishment and reward are processed as well as emotional expressions. The ventromedial prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that is critical in decision making. The impairments caused by these areas of the brain not functioning properly leads to the development of psychopathy. Why this happens is not known for sure (Long).

The Diagnostic and Statistics Manual states that in order for an individual to be diagnosed as having ASPD they must meet a certain criteria. They must be at least 18 and have had symptoms of conduct disorder before age 15. They must have a persistent disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in early childhood and continues into adulthood. A diagnosis of this disorder is only given when these behaviors become persistent and disabling or distressing. Antisocial Personality Disorder may be responsible for more social distress and disruption then all other psychiatric disorders combined. Interestingly, it is the only disorder that doesn’t seem to cause the person who has it much suffering. It is everyone around them that suffers instead. The disorder is chronic and there is no specific treatment (Staff, Mayo Clinic). Usually the psychopath doesn’t feel they have psychological or emotional problems and sees no reason to change in order to conform to the standards of society.

Is it possible that there are benefits to being a psychopath? It’s hard to fathom that there are people put on this earth that are essentially plain evil. Perhaps having no empathy and no guilt has its pros. Imagine if, instead of our loved ones and neighbors going off to fight in wars, our country had an army of psychopaths that had no problem killing. They could work as executioners in our jails. I suppose, if you had to have a psychiatric disorder, that the benefit of having this one is that nobody could look at you and know that your brain functions differently.

I chose to write about this disorder because I have been affected by it. I didn’t even know that people like this existed until I married one. It is still hard for me to accept that I could be fooled by someone to the extent that I married and had a child with him. It didn’t take long for me to figure out that something wasn’t right and I divorced him within a year. I still deal with him on a regular basis because he constantly takes me to court in attempts to take my daughter from me. Hopefully that will end soon. At first I just thought he was an evil person but now I see that he can’t help it. Learning about this disorder has helped me learn how to deal with him. It’s scary to me that it’s possibly genetic and my daughter has a risk of developing it. Fortunately, she has an amazing step-father that is a positive role model and a stable, loving family. I have always had a fascination with abnormal psychology and the events in my life have inspired me to continue my education in psychology.

Bibliography

1. Stout, Martha “The Sociopath Next Door”. USA: Broadway Books, 2005. Print.

2. Hare, Robert. “This Charming Psychopath.” Web. psychologytoday.com
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199401/charming-psychopath

3. Staff, Mayo Clinic. "Antisocial Personality Disorder." Web. MayoClinic.com. 8 Oct. 2010. 11 Oct. 2011.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/antisocial-personality-disorder/DS00829

5. Introduction to Psychology. Evanston, Ill: Nextext, 2001. Print.

6. Long, Phillip W.M.D. " Antisocial Personality Disorder." Web. Internet Mental Health. 1995-2011. 11 Oct. 2011.
http://mentalhealth.com/dis/p20-pe04.html

7. "Jeffery Dahmer." Photo. thequoteblog.com 9 Oct. 2007. 11 Oct. 2011

                 http://www.thequoteblog.com/serial-killer-jeffrey-dahmer-on-his-life

8.    Horror Man. "Michael Myers." Photo. theRealmCast.com 27 Dec. 2010. 11 Oct. 2011
                  http://therealmtoys.com/wordpressorg/tag/michael-myers/

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2011-10-09T03:23:00.000-04:00

Practicing My Negotiation Face

2011-10-08T05:43:00.001-04:00

I'm sale-ing away,

Out of the garage into the yard you see,

'Cause I've got to be free,

Free of all this crap that I'm sell-elling,

my yard, I'm the captain, all aboard my yard,

You can find lots of junk here that I know for sure,

And I'll try, Oh man I'll try, to sell it all...

Seriously, this is really what I was singing in my head the entire time I was setting up my yard sale tonight in preparation for tomorrow morning. I was supposed to have the sale two weeks ago with the rest of my neighbors in the court but I sort of, not sort of, actually, just didn't feel like doing it. I was feeling fatigued because I haven't slept through an entire night in over a year. This is due to being pregnant and having a child that, after one year, still wakes up at least twice a night. (I just heard the little Jerkalope now in fact...) So I ended up sitting in my living room looking out the window and watching the neighbors run their garage sales that weekend . I was impressed by what I saw.

Before I tell you why I was impressed I need to give you a little background information. As you know, my family moved about five months ago into a new house in a new town. Well, literally neither the house nor the town are new but they were new to me. We moved in spring, the weather was pleasant, and I enjoyed driving around exploring my unfamiliar surroundings. I noticed that the locals often had garage or yard sales, which my husband refers to as a "tag" sale because he's a New Englander. After we had been in the new house a little while I realized that there's always garage sales going on. There are always signs, handmade and store bought, littering the street corners with arrows pointing the way to a "huge sale!" or a destination that "you don't want to miss!" It doesn't matter what day of the week it is, what time it is, if the yard is on fire, or if its hailing June bugs, there's a sale going on. I guarantee it, I'm even putting it in writing, see. I have never seen as many garage sales in any of the other places I've lived. Where I grew up, and where my parents still live, yard and garage sales are prohibited unless it's a specified "subdivision sale weekend." It so much different than my current subdivision where there's a guy one street over from us whose part-time job is working in his own driveway every weekend. I'm not sure how he keeps coming up with things to sell but like clockwork, he's out there selling them.

I enjoy following the arrows on those signs, it's an adventure. I never know where I'm going to end up (because you can never read the addresses on those tiny signs) and I never know what I may find displayed in the middle of some stranger's driveway. It's much more entertaining than shopping at a regular retail store. There's isn't any suspense when I go to Target or Walmart, I know what I need to get, I get it and I leave. There's nothing special about heading to aisle six and grabbing the Hill Billy wheat bread I buy every time I go grocery shopping. Having no idea what you are shopping for and where you might find it? Now that is a good time.

So, I've explained that there is an overabundance of garage and yard sales where I live. I've also detailed some reasons why I don't mind this overabundance. I've got you all filled in and up to speed now, I can tell you what was impressive to me that day a couple of weekends ago when I ditched my own yard sale.

I couldn't believe the hard core customers that arrived on our court that morning all bright and shiny, F'ing early. The newspaper ad for the sale said it started at eight a.m. Around six-thirty, seven maybe, people of all types, in cars of all makes and models started showing up. They parked up and down the court, in front of my driveway, and on the street adjacent to ours. Some came in packs ready to pounce on the deals, some with their spouses and children looking for knick knacks or Fiesta Wear to replace the dishes the kids broke, some came alone with an agenda, an intent to star in another reality show about people who buy things that are worth a lot more than the person who is selling it to them knows. Chivalry is dead.

These people were camping out at a garage sale! I can't even imagine what they do when their favorite band comes to town. This crowd loves garage sales more than I do. They have navigating the event broken down to a science, and apparently, there is a science to it.

When eight o'clock finally arrived, the shoppers were at their marks, set and ready to go. They got in and out of those yards and garages with such speed and finesse, picking out all the best items, sometimes quickly making trips to their cars to drop off their finds so they could go search for more. It was amazing. There was such determination on the faces of the early customers, I could tell that when they left they were heading for another yard sale.

This went on all day long. I couldn't believe how much traffic was generated all because some people conspired to gather up all the things in their homes they thought were crap, throw them in the grass, and add in some numbers after a dollar sign. I was astounded that commerce could be conjured up just like that. There's clearly a segment of the population that considers the whole crap in the grass ad campaign to be great marketing.

After witnessing the way everything went down, I started to think that I should have participated in the sale. I wanted in on the action. I didn't know how lucrative the business was until then. My next door neighbor, and my only friend in this town, had to work that weekend and missed out on it too. We decided to have our own yard sale together this weekend. It starts in a few hours so I should probably get to sleep. I will return with an update as soon as the mood strikes me. Until then...go garage sale-ing!

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Things That Go Bump in the Business

2011-10-03T04:02:00.000-04:00

Things that Go Bump in the Business

By Allison P. Slep

Last May my husband and I, and our two daughters, moved into a house in Midland, Michigan. The house was built in the early nineteen-fifties and has some peculiar features. There are steel storm shutters on all of the windows that roll down manually by a rope and pulley and also by pushing a button that closes and opens them electronically. It’s the sort of thing you might see at a business in Detroit or any other high crime area, not in a suburban neighborhood. The bedroom my husband and I share has a gun safe built into the wall. I imagine it once had a large oil painting with a gold painted, carved wooden frame hung on the wall to conceal it. The basement has the most interesting feature, a full bar. I’m not talking about a bar that someone may add to their home for the purpose of entertaining a few guests; this bar is the real deal. It was built around the same time that the house was built and has everything a bar would need for the purpose of conducting business. There is a bar counter, working sinks to wash bar glasses in just underneath it, shelves to house all types of liquor, a tap for draft beer, and a special refrigerator to keep the kegs in. One wall has a classroom sized old chalk board attached to it and there is room for tables and chairs. With all of these out-of-the-ordinary things added together, it seems as though there may have been a speakeasy operation going on or possibly gambling. I can only speculate about what once went on in my home.

After moving in, I immediately began experiencing things that could be considered paranormal. There are noises that come from the kitchen every night that sound like someone is in there shuffling their feet and moving the dishes around in the sink. One night my daughter woke up and was crying, she said there were “monsters” in her room. She had never done this before and when I walked into her room there were three electric-blue balls of light near her ceiling that flickered and than disappeared. At first I attributed it to the fact that I had looked at her night light when I entered her room and the blinking lights were just an after effect of that. I thought it was similar to looking at a camera flash and then seeing spots. I tried several times to recreate what happened by opening the door and looking at the night light and then the place where I saw the lights. I could not. Even my husband, the skeptic, was awakened one night to the sound of one of our daughter’s toys repeating part of a song over and over. In order for this particular toy to do this, a button must be pressed several times in a row. The toy had been left in the bathroom, nothing else was near it, and the rest of the household was asleep. Since then the rest of the toys with batteries began acting up too. It's odd, they all play some song or phrase over and over as if on a loop. If it was a toy or two that this occurred with I wouldn't think much of it; but, it has happened with almost all of them over time. Once, two toys in two different rooms started up at the same time. There have been other things I have witnessed; a light turned on by itself. The television and a radio have too. And, on a few occasions, the sound of a billiard ball striking another despite the fact that we have no billiard table. It seems that my house could be haunted.

I decided to look on the internet to see if the sort of events my family had been experiencing were happening to other people in their homes. I found many similar stories and it gave me chills. I decided that I'd rather not know if my house is haunted. If there is a spirit lingering here it isn’t bothering us. We bought this house and, haunted or not, intend to live here for a long time.

While I was researching online, I came across a website called The Shadow Lands that listed dozens of “haunted” places in Michigan. There were places one would expect to find on a list of “haunted” areas. Cemeteries, abandoned state mental hospitals, and homes where known murders occurred are obvious for such a list. I was surprised, however, by the number of working businesses I found on the lists. The number of hotels, bed and breakfast establishments, restaurants, and working theaters was equal to the obvious places. I started to wonder if having the label of “haunted” was beneficial or detrimental to these businesses.

An abundance of shows like Paranormal State and My Ghost Story, involve the pursuit of ghosts and individual accounts of evidence to prove they exist. The paranormal is an interesting, mysterious subject to many people. The Media has made the possibility of spirits lingering after death a trendy thing to have in your home. Businesses may profit from being known as haunted. On the other hand, there may be business owners that aren’t interested in capitalizing on being an attraction of fright. To satisfy my own curiosity, I decided to find out.

I went to Barnes & Noble to find a book on the subject. There were over twenty-five books about ghosts and paranormal activity in Michigan alone. Clearly someone is reaping the rewards of a place being haunted.

One place I discovered as being rumored as haunted is the Felt Mansion, it’s located between Saugatuck and Holland (“Shadow Lands” par. 451). The home was built for Agnes Felt by her husband, and inventor, Dorr Felt, in the nineteen-twenties. Agnes died a month and a half after moving into the home (Boering par. 3). Rumor has it that her spirit never left the mansion (Stonehouse 120-21).This is not the only story about the area that I found.

Local lore suggests that there is also a clan of people living near the Felt Mansion, known as “Melon Heads,” that have large heads, disproportionate to the rest of their body. They are said to be a race descendant from a group of people who had hydrocephalus. According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, Hydrocephalus is an illness marked by extra fluid in the brain causing the head to swell (par. 2). Those who suffered from the condition were put into mental institutions. It’s suggested that the Felt’s had at one point sold Felt Mansion to a seminary which built a private asylum on the property. After the property was again sold, the “Melon Heads” were displaced and lived in the nearby forest and in the tunnels under Felt Mansion (LaVey 16).

The first story about Agnes is something I could be open to, but the latter of the two stories sounded a little ridiculous to me. Further research suggests that there was never an asylum on the property. In fact, there actually was a small correctional facility named Dunes near the mansion. This building is now abandoned (Stonehouse 120-21). I wondered how this sort of thing might affect the business of the newly restored Felt Mansion.

I tried to get an interview with a manager or employee of the Felt Estate. My interview was politely declined but I did find out that anyone can tour the mansion. Interestingly, they also offer “ghost tours” for a fee. I started to feel as though I was getting closer to the answer I was looking for.

My next stop was the Holly Hotel. The “Shadow Lands” website lists this place as one of the most haunted places in Michigan (par. 229). I’ve also heard that it has burned down twice in two separate years but on the same date and time. I telephoned Alex Cripps, the manager, and he agreed to sit down with me for an interview.

The historic Holly Hotel. Holly, Michigan

I felt a little nervous driving to the hotel. The house I grew up in is about thirty minutes south of Holly and for years I heard rumors about it being haunted. Discovering that it was, perhaps, one of the most haunted places in the nation really got my imagination going. I had no idea what to expect as I arrived at the ominous building.

I got there before business hours and rang the bell at the front door. Alex, who was the only employee there, greeted me and led me to the bar located off of the main dining room. He left me alone for a few minutes to go answer a phone call. There was music from the twenties playing loudly over the speakers. The place was decorated with antiques, art, and framed newspaper clippings telling the history of the hotel. Each of the tables were set with a crisp white tablecloth, crystal water glasses, and a vase holding a single red rose. I got the feeling as if someone was watching me. Maybe it was because I expected to feel that way. The building itself seemed as if it were alive.

I asked Alex if he thought the hotel was haunted. He told me that he had never believed in ghosts until he started working there three years ago. He went on to explain that he keeps the music turned up loud when he is there alone because other wise he hears footsteps and the sound of furniture moving around in other rooms. Cripps stated, “When I’m here alone, I know I’m not really here alone.”

Cripps gave me a brief history of the building and the four known ghosts that reside there. The hotel was built in 1891. The ghosts are Nora Kane whom plays the piano in the main dining room at night and gives off the scent of perfume which many guests have experienced. The previous owner John Hirst still watches over the establishment, and a little girl who was hit by a train outside of the hotel remains there in spirit. She was brought inside to get help just before she died. The fourth ghost is a dog the Hirst’s kept as a pet. It is known to hang out in the kitchen and can be heard walking on the tiles.

I mentioned the fires I had heard rumors about. I didn’t really think that information was true. Cripps told me that indeed the two fires had occurred, both on January nineteenth, in 1913 and in 1978. Both fires began between six and seven o’clock at night. The first fire was so long ago there wasn’t any explanation of how it began and the cause of the more recent fire could not be determined despite the technology firefighters had at the time to find out. I was shocked at this confirmation.

I asked Cripps if he thought that the label of the hotel being haunted generated more business or less. He told me that he didn’t think that it had much of an effect on whether or not people chose to dine there. The building no longer functions as a hotel, it is a restaurant and they also hold banquets and other events there. He did say that the Travel Channel came there and filmed a segment for their series “Most Terrifying Places in America” in 2010. After the episode aired, many customers mentioned seeing it and this continued for about three months. Cripps wasn’t sure if those customers came there specifically because they saw the show.

I found out that the Holly Hotel used to be open during the Halloween season for a haunted house tour and that did generate a lot of business. They no longer do the tour but do offer Victorian séances during the months of October and November. There are also ghost presentations and reenactments around the time of Halloween. The Holly Hotel website mentions that reservations for these events need to be made in advance as space is limited and tends to fill up (“Holly Hotel” par. 18).

I left the Holly Hotel with the hairs on the back of my neck standing up and also a sense that having a resident ghost or four is definitely not bad for their business. While Cripps couldn’t be sure of the amount of people that came there specifically because it is haunted and couldn’t determine the amount of money that was contributed by patrons seeking the paranormal, it’s clear that the establishment has benefited from it. I think that the free advertising and publicity they get from being mentioned by so many books, websites, and television shows is incredible.

The last place my journey has led me is 24th Street in Oxford. This sports tavern used to be called Rob’s Place. Rob’s Place was listed as haunted, the current business was not. (“Shadow Lands” par. 385). I figured, since it was the same building, the same ghosts would be there regardless of what kind of food they were serving. I called the tavern and spoke with Stacy Williams, an employee. I asked her if the place was haunted. Williams’ answer was surprising to me. She told me that the owner doesn’t think it’s haunted. She didn’t mention whether or not she thinks it is. Williams went on to explain that there had been several “ghost busters” that wanted to come to the tavern and investigate for paranormal activity. The owner allowed one company to come in and investigate and they did not find any evidence of a haunting. I asked her if she thought that being listed on websites as a haunted building brought in business. She said something similar to what Alex Cripps told me; sometimes people mention it when they come into the establishment but she wasn’t sure if the patrons came there just because it’s labeled as having ghosts. Williams emphasized the fact that the owner did not believe his restaurant was haunted and had never experienced any paranormal activity. I hung up the phone feeling satisfied that I had found my answer.

It’s evident to me that being labeled as “haunted” is financially beneficial to a business. While some business owners use the ghosts in their buildings as a way to boost clientele, others clearly deny the rumors and still generate business because of them.

I really enjoyed searching for the answer to my question. This experience was both fun and extremely interesting. I enjoy learning about many different subjects and gaining knowledge. Things that have to do with the paranormal have sparked my curiosity since I was in elementary school. Finding out about how ghosts may affect a business was a different perspective for me. I don’t have any specific plans for using the new facts I’ve learned, but I will have something to add to a conversation should the subject come up.

Resources:
Boering, Brooke W. “History: The Mansion.” The Felt Estate. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Jun 2011.
<http://www.feltmansion.org >.
Cripps, Alex. Personal Interview. 22 Jun 2011. “Ghosts of the Historic Holly Hotel.” The Holly Hotel. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Jun 2011.
<http://www.hollyhotel.com>.
“Haunted Places in Michigan.” The Shadow Lands. Dave Juliano. Jan. 2010. Web. 20 Jun 2011. <http://www.theshadowlands.net/places/michigan>.
"Holly Hotel Holly". Photo. Water Winter Wonderland.com 1996. Oct. 2 2011.
<http://www.waterwinterwonderland.com/images/hotels/Holly%20Hotel%20Holly.jpg>
LaVey, Myke. “The Legend of the Melon Heads.” Weird Michigan: Your Guide to Michigan’s Local Legends and Best Kept Secrets. Comp. Linda S. Godfrey. Ed. Mark Moran and Mark Sceurman. New York: Sterling, 2006. Print.
"Melon Head Illustration". Picture. Michigan's Other Side.com June 2011. Oct. 2 2011.
<http://www.michigansotherside.com/Pictures/melonhead2.jpg>
National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. “Hydrocephalus Fact Sheet.” National Institute of Health. Feb. 2008.Web. 22 Jun 2011.
<http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/hydrocephalus/detail_hydrocephalus.htm>.
Stonehouse, Frederick. Haunted Lake Michigan. 1st ed. Duluth: Lake Superior Port Cities, 2006. 120-21. Print.
Williams, Stacy. Telephone Interview. 26 Jun 2011.

Role Model

Secretary of Cake

2011-10-01T10:05:00.001-04:00

Let them eat cake!

Cake Boss

2011-09-30T12:32:00.000-04:00

In honor of my youngest daughter turning one this Saturday, I am dedicating this post to all of things I know about making birthday cakes.
(This will be brief.)

I know I am not going to attempt another cake like this, at midnight the day of the party, or any other time soon.

(This was the cake for my daughter's third birthday this past August.)

This is what happened immediately after each guest got a piece. This was actually a relief because I thought for sure it was going to happen when I cut the first piece. Did I mention that I am not very experienced at baking cakes?

I know that instead of the "Post-war Castle" cake I am going to make a less complicated, double layer, round or heart shaped cake.

The inside will be a delicious alternating chocolate and yellow cake combo with a fudge frosting. The outside I will make to look like a gift box using the Wilton Sugar Sheet. I just discovered them the other day when I was looking for cake ideas. This edible decorating paper is easy to use, inexpensive, and makes me look like a professional cake designer when I'm holding my breath waiting for the cake to crumble.

Check out all of the different colors and designs that are available.

These are what I got for my cake.

I am making the cake tonight and can't wait to show you how it turns out!
Check back for the results.

****Bonus for the day!!****
Another Thing I Know!

One thing I know about birthday presents;

I know that my little girl is going to love this Fisher-Price Disney's Dance Star Mickey birthday present.

Curiosity Killed My Face

2011-09-28T10:18:00.000-04:00

I was in the bathroom looking in the mirror the other day and noticed that I have killer forehead wrinkles. It's kind of a bummer. I mentioned something about it out loud in front of my three year old daughter, who seems to materialize before me when ever I am in the bathroom. She asked me what was wrong with my forehead. Not wanting to complain about the way I look in front of her I said "oh it's nothing, I was just making a joke." Then she asked how I got those lines on my head and I told her that it's because I'm old. She reacted like I had just told her that I was going to give her away to the UPS guy. She calls him the "GPS" guy and runs into the house screaming "The stranger GPS guy is going to take me! He's going to kill meeee!" every time he delivers a package to us or anyone else on our court. She was horrified! I didn't realize that the thought of me being old was such a frightening thing for her.

Then I got to wondering how I did get the particular lines I have. Most women are aware of what frown lines are but I don't frown much, certainly not enough to leave lines! So I tried out several expressions in the mirror to see if I could figure out how they got there.

I frowned first, not it. Next I squinted like I was trying to read the fine print at the bottom of one of those pharmaceutical commercials , nope. Then I squinted like I was driving toward the sun without my sunglasses on. Not it either. I tried out a few more emotions with out any luck and then I found it! My wrinkles are from the face I make when I am interested in something. I raise my eyebrows in an inquisitive manner. It's kind of like my eyebrows are saying "Oh really! You don't say! I must know more!"

What a curse! I have wanted to know about pretty much anything and everything ever since I can remember. A life time of curiosity and a quest for knowledge is written all over my face. I suppose the next thing I will be learning about is Botox. Or maybe I can find a face to make that counter acts the inquisitive one....

ABCmouse.com-Full Curriculum, Preschool-Kindergarten Educational Website! Click here!

Job Experience #1

2011-09-24T11:13:00.000-04:00

In my thirty-one years of life on this planet I have managed to obtain fifty-eight jobs. I think it's been that many, there could be more. I'm going to start at the first one and make my way every week through the list. I hope you find it humorous and, at the very least, interesting.

In order to explain the first job, I must first tell the story of the best friend I had growing up, Jamie. Jamie was about two years older than me and lived across the street from my family in Lake Orion, MI. She was a female, adolescent version of Dr. Dolittle. I swear the girl could talk to animals. This girl had a zoo in her house. There were dogs of all kinds; Great Danes, Terriers, Cockapoos, Cockalazapoos, you name it. She had cats and fish, turtles, snakes, flying squirrels, chinchillas, rats, mice and gerbils. There were over forty birds in her house, including a white Cockatoo named Snow that could scream her name exactly like her mother did so we often thought we were getting in trouble when, in fact, no one was home to catch us doing what ever it was we surely should not have been doing. Jamie grew butterflies in her bedroom and let them fly around in it, she introduced me to Sea Monkeys and Tent Worms. One time during a thunderstorm we were in her bedroom and a blue Parakeet that must have escaped from another house in the neighborhood crashed into her bedroom window. Jamie went outside and rescued it and kept it for many years. I suppose the bird had heard through the grapevine about the house with all the animals and the girl who could talk to them because how else could it have ended up there? Maybe the Parakeet had gotten news of the Seagull with the broken wing that Jamie took in. Her mother was an RN and helped Jamie amputate the wing that was broken beyond repair and they kept that Seagull for many years too, until it died from old age. Seriously, I couldn't make this stuff up.

This brings me to my first job. I was twelve, almost thirteen, when I started this job. Jamie had been training hunting dogs with this lady that she knew from the riding stables where she kept her horse. (She had one of those too.) She asked me if I would be interested in doing it too because the lady, Diane, needed more help. I jumped at the chance to have a job because it was such an adult thing to do. I imagined being able to tell my friends that I could not play their childish games today because I had to go to work. I also imagined all of the Gobstoppers, Cheetos, and Jolt Colas I'd be able to buy from the nearby party store with my new wealth. It was going to be great.

My first day on the job was cake. I was training to train dogs. All I had to do was stand in a field and watch Jamie throw rubber "buoys" as far as she could into the tall grass. After Jamie had thrown the buoy, Diane would release the dog to go and find it. The best part was the eight dollars an hour cash that was handed over to me when the six hour day of work was finished. Not bad for a twelve year old.

The next day I went back and it was my turn to throw the buoys. Simple as pie. I had a pretty good throwing arm and it was fun. Working was awesome, I didn't understand why grown ups complained about their jobs so much. After working for six hours, I went home with cash again and was so excited about my job. I was going to be rich!

Then came the third day of my dog training career. It never occurred to my twelve year old self that hunting dogs didn't typically, and when I sat typically I mean ever, hunt rubber buoys. Any guesses on what they do hunt? Keep reading.

I got to the field bright and shining early and found that the usual cardboard boxes that housed the rubber buoys had been replaced with larger, wooden crates. Of course, it didn't occur to my twelve year old self that anything might be awry. I still didn't get the hint when I was handed rubber gloves to put on. It was only when the lid was removed from one of the large wooden crates that I fully understood what my job description was and what it was not. It was not going to be the rubber buoy tossing, Cheeto eating, Jolt Cola drinking, career that would make me the envy of all my middle school friends at all. When the lid came off of the crate that day, I stared into rotting, stinking, maggot covered truth of what my new job title was. Dead Duck Thrower.

Just Like Me

2011-09-20T00:08:00.000-04:00

When you were growing up did your parents ever say to you, "When you grow up and have your own children, I hope they are just like you!" Well my parents did. At least my mother did. I guess she must have rubbed the right lamp and met the right genie because her wish came true. This is confirmed every time I call her to ask what I should do about some situation or another related to my daughters and her first response is to fall over laughing. This isn't the sort of laughter one would expect to hear after explaining a humorous story, this laughter is much more maniacal, a pinch of evil and a tablespoon of "I told you so."

My eldest daughter recently turned three. She is absolutely just like I was at her age multiplied by one-hundred. I have always been a smart ass but my daughter has been able to out smart ass me since before the age of two. I discovered this talent in her when I was telling her not to do something one day. I think it had to do with not touching the stove or something else equally as dangerous. The whole time I was explaining to her why she should never do what ever the thing was she was looking at me with her giant brown eyes and nodding her head as if she was in total agreement with what I was saying. I was feeling pretty good about the lecture and felt that she really understood the importance of the matter. I asked her if she understood what I had just said. "Yes, Mom," she said. "Are you sure?", I asked. "Yes, Mom," she said. "What did I just say?", I asked. Still looking at me with her understanding giant brown eyes she said, "Do dee do, der dee do, dee do!" From that moment on, I knew I was in trouble.

It's hard to get mad at your child for doing things that they shouldn't do when you can relate to why they are doing them. For example;

I get it! Drawing on the walls is soooo much fun! Ask my Hazel Park housemates from 2003-2006. I painted a mural of the Detroit skyline on our family room wall for almost the entire time we lived there. It evolved over time and turned out quite nicely I must say. So how do I get mad at my daughter about this? She even used purple marker that was scented like grapes! That's a step above any of my wall art. Nobody can get the aroma of fresh grapes, or any other kind of fruit for that matter, from any of my murals. Kudos to the kid!

I can manage to not laugh when she does these kind of things and correct the behavior because I want to make sure that she grows up to be a civilized and polite human being. I also don't want her to go around drawing on just anyone's wall for free. She needs to know that there is a market for that.

The challenge I face with this tiny, monster version of me is how to get her potty trained. I'm not too worried since I don't have any friends that still use their pants as a place to relieve themselves but I am a little baffled. My champion smart ass child has the vocabulary and logic of a ten year old but refuses to use the toilet. This kid can follow verbal instructions for how to play an online game, play the game, and win but she won't use the toilet. I don't get it. I have asked her why she won't and her reply was, "Sometimes I poop my pants and sometimes I don't mom." As if I didn't realize.

I'm sure it will all get straightened out, but until then, laugh all you want mom! You deserve it. I've put you through enough crap and you have far more than earned the right to crack up at my expense.

My New Favorite Past Time

2011-09-16T11:51:00.000-04:00

My husband and I bought our first house back in May. Brutus, the guy who sold it to us, had been renting it out to college kids and a couple different families over the course of several years. We were excited when he said we could keep all of the appliances that were in it. That meant we could keep the washer and dryer, three refrigerators, and the dish washer. He even threw in a hot tub that fits five or six people. "Too good to be true," you say? Exactly.

It turned out that neither the washer nor the dryer worked. Neither did two out of the three refrigerators, and you've probably already guessed it, the hot tub. Awesome.

So I checked out Craigslist and bought something from it for the first time. I was so proud of the bargains I scored. I got a washer, a dryer, and a lawn mower for a total of $210. What a rush! I couldn't wait for something else to break so I could do it again.Nothing in the house was breaking though, everything was hunky dory, and I was on the verge of jamming something into the dishwasher, or finding something else that I could cause to malfunction, when it dawned on me; I can sell things on Craigslist too.

I started out selling two window unit air conditioners and some jewelry and now I can't stop. I even put our stainless steel three compartment under bar sink up. If someone wants it I'm going to have to install shut off valves on the pipes going into it which I've never done before but Google can teach me how to do it. Selling the sink will be my biggest item yet! Yep, I've developed a problem. It's escalated into selling things on Ebay and next weekend I'm having a garage sale. I've never had a garage sale before! It's going to be exciting. I tend to go a little overboard with my projects and I'm envisioning my garage transformed into a little boutique with everything organized into departments and displayed in a way that screams "you can't live without me!" Wish me luck people. I'll let you know how it goes.

Public Humiliation at its Finest

2011-09-15T14:04:00.000-04:00

A post from the blog Magic In The Backyard asks what are some reasons why people censor their writing and how can we be fearless writers. While this isn't one of the assignments on the blog, this relates very much to the topic.

I mentioned in my previous post that I had kept journals from the time that I was nine years old until a little over two years ago when I experienced something that made me afraid to write. It sounds a little crazy, I know. Talking about it now gives me a mental image that I am holding a pen in my trembling hand and can't make eye contact with the notebook. As I move my pen closer to the notebook my whole body begins to shake with fear as if I know that once the ink touches the paper a giant monster is going to emerge from the page and steal me away to a dark land where they eat people like me for lunch, people who express their feelings. You would be frightened too. Wouldn't you?
This is what actually happened. I was married to my oldest daughter's father for one year and one month. I left him when she was eight months old. The guy is a classic example of a sociopath, psychologists call it Anti-Social personality disorder these days. That's a ridiculously long and complicated story for another time though. He ended up waging a full out custody war against me, as people of that nature tend to do, and somehow twelve of my journals became the focus of several motions he filed and also a four hour deposition.

My ex (whom I refer to as Jim Bob Firepants because his name is James and he lies a lot so his pants are on fire) got the journals because he took them from our house before I moved all of my stuff out. Luckily, I had left all of my other notebooks at my parents house in a trunk so he only had a small chunk of my inner workings to try and use against me. And try to use it against me he did. It was mortifying. He was accusing me of being unstable and said he had "evidence" that I purposely infected someone with a disease and I was trying to infect our daughter with it too. He really said this, in fact he insisted it. This "evidence" came from something I wrote several years ago about a guy I had dated who broke up with me in an email. The guy and I had mutual friends and we all ended up at his house one day. I used his computer when I was there and it ended up crashing from a virus. Now, I doubt I am the one who caused the virus on his computer, usually it takes a while for a virus to completely screw up a computer, I just happened to be the one using it when it crashed. In my journal I wrote about how his karma came back in the form of a virus. I didn't explain in my journal that it was because he broke up with me in an email and I thought it was ironic because I already knew what I was meaning. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would end up in a deposition with an attorney interrogating me about my notebooks. Never in my wildest dreams would I have even considered that I would be explaining the meaning of my thoughts and poems to opposing counsel, a court reporter, and my attorney to whom I was paying $250 and hour. It was humiliating to say the least but that was the point of the whole thing. If revenge was professional basket ball than my ex would be Michael Jordon.

The whole charade had no effect on the outcome in court because it was absolutely ludicrous and by the time custody was determined he had already came up with numerous other evil plots to destroy me and ultimately putting our daughter's well being at risk which cost him legal and physical custody. I was really affected by it though. The whole thing was quite traumatizing for me. The things I write are for me and I don't write with the expectation that someone may read them some day. It made me afraid to write about everything that I thought about after that because I feared that it could happen again. When I did try to write, I chose my words carefully so that nothing could be misinterpreted and twisted to make me out to be a villain. My purpose for writing was defeated once I started to censor my thoughts so I just stopped.

I'm back to writing now though! It feels really empowering to take back the things that my ex took from me. I'm not going to worry about censoring what I am thinking or feeling when it comes to my own personal journal or any other place. The worst thing that could happen has already happened to me and I survived it.

Entering the Blogosphere...

2011-09-14T04:16:00.000-04:00

Hello? Hello? Hello? Is there anybody out there? Comment on my blog if you can hear me... Is there anyone home?

From the age of nine, until a little over two years ago, I kept journals. I documented everything going on in my life and the way I was feeling about it, wrote stories, and poetry. I must have over eighty notebooks and at least a dozen more that got lost throughout the years. It was my way of getting my thoughts out of my head and onto paper so I could see them and sort them out. My spiral-bound therapists.

Not everything I wrote about was an issue that needed to be resolved but a lot of it was. Every now and then I get a stack of them out and revisit the past. Some of the things I wrote are so funny to me now. The teenage angst/boy crazy years are especially hilarious. If I had married every boy that I swore I was going to marry I would have beat Elizabeth Taylor and Zsa Zsa Gabor by a land slide! I also get a kick out of all of the times I had wished I didn't live with my parents because "I wanted to be free and happy." I really thought that when I graduated from high school I would buy a Volkswagon bus and follow the Grateful Dead using the profit I'd make from selling hand-woven purses and grilled cheese sandwiches in the parking lots at their shows. I was sixteen when Jerry died. It was devastating. I can only imagine what my parents thought when I cried about it for days. They had no idea that my dream of owning a parking lot retail business and traveling the country in a vehicle that used diesel fuel was crushed. I may laugh now about how ridiculous I was back then, but when I wrote those journal entries I was serious. Maybe they'll come in handy as a sort of emotional reference manual when my daughters become teenagers. Actually, I'm going to save that scary thought for at least eight more years since my oldest is three and the second is only eleven months old.

Getting back to the subject of writing, I mentioned before that I have not really written anything in over two years. I experienced something that was emotionally traumatizing and I became afraid to write because of it (that post is next). Only recently have I felt that I can write again and I have a lot to say. My life has been very colorful and interesting so far. I am thirty-one and probably have more life experiences than some people have during their entire life. The last few years of my life have been eye opening, terrifying, frustrating and exhausting; however, I got through it and gained a lot of knowledge and wisdom, found love and strength, and managed to keep my sense of humor. I hope whoever reads this can get something positive out of it.Welcome to my blog. Thank you for letting me share my life with you.