The Castle of Hassell

Welcome Witches

2017-10-10T16:13:00.003-07:00

I am hosting Bunco this month!

I'm planning on doing a halloween theme style Bunco.

(Simplified of course)

I've been searching for a cute sign to let everyone know to come in

and I couldn't find one so I made one!

If you are throwing a girls night this month you might enjoy it too.

Download printable here

Hope you enjoy!

Free Quote Printable

2017-10-02T17:20:00.001-07:00

Adam graduated P.A. School!

We survived these past few years without a real income.

What a wild ride.

Now that I'm ~~bored out of my mind~~ blissfully enjoying

not stressing about school, I have found a hobby I enjoy doing and I

wanted to share it with you!

Long ago people used to scrap book for HOURS on ONE page.

WHAT!?! You might be saying to yourself but its true.

I used to be one of those people if you still are kudos to you.

After baby number one I realized I didn't have that

kind of time.

So naturally I gave it up.

I even gave away my scrap book.

Because it brought me stress.

Recently though I have discovered a simpler way to scrap book.

PRINTABLES

and

I enjoy making them.

My kids say some funny things so I created this fun page to help me

remember to write down some of the crazy things they say.

Now I can keep memories in my own special way

To download this printable click here

2016

2017-03-19T15:11:00.001-07:00

2016

It's not really March is it?

Can we pretend its January?

Ok good!

Last year was a blur. An awesome blur.

We added a new member to our family.

Meet little Gwen.

She is perfect in every little way.

I wish I could tell myself 3 years ago that everything was going to work out.

That having 3 kids is actually awesome.

All those wise mothers were right.

You see by the 3rd kid you aren't stressed out as much.

You realize that the milestones are going to happen.

That it actually does go fast.

Since its ~~January~~ I wanted to do our year recap.

(Christmas Day 2016)

Thayne- started kinder and loves school most days.

He practices jokes and loves making people happy.

He ran his first race last year.

He is my buddy and likes to spend time together as a family.

When we ask him what his favorite part of a day is its always "when you did something with me"

This boy makes the world a better place.

Joslyn- Shy at first but don't let her fool you.

She loves singing and dancing to herself.

Every time we try to listen in she will run away.

Being a middle child can be hard and she uses it to her advantage.

Her and I like to paint anything and everything together.

Gwen- Still new but I think she might be a firecracker.

She loves to smile and giggle with us and wants to be wherever her

brother and sister is. Already she has a ton of personality.

Adam- is doing rotations and has a new schedule every month.

He is going to be a great PA and finishes in JULY!

He balances school and family amazingly.

He also has been able to rekindle his love of golfing.

Alyse- I am happily enjoying being CEO of our home.

The kids and I have enjoyed doing things around Phoenix.

We plan on staying in Arizona after school.

Hope you all had a holly jolly Christmas!

My valentines

2016-02-14T19:58:00.001-08:00

I'm currently on hiatus from Facebook. But I wanted to do an update on our lives. Adam is currently on his second semester of PA school. So far it's been tougher than the last and he has had many tests but I have been so amazed at how he balances his life. Through it all he still finds time for us. He bought him and I dance lessons for Christmas. It was a dream come true.

Thayne is getting ready for kindergarten later this year. We are doing a homeschool preschool and I work as a sub for a preschool and the kids get to come with me. He is such a sweet boy. He is so helpful and loves to cook with me. Here he is presenting his Valentine flower to me. He got the flower, water, glass all by himself.

I recently discovered I love decorating cookies. I also love eating them. Soooo... I may or may not have already gained 3 lbs in a month from this new hobby.

Miss Joslyn let me curl her hair today for the first time. She is getting ready to turn three and is already a bit sassy but mostly sweet. She loves to snuggle and has the biggest smile.

We are loving Arizona and have felt so welcomed and loved.

Happy Valentine's Day! I think I enjoy it more than the kids. It's been a special day filled with family time. Which has been my favorite way to do Valentine's Day since these two cuties have come. We did get to go on a long boarding date on Saturday which was long over due.

Real life happened today

2015-11-09T17:15:00.001-08:00

Do you ever have days where everything seems to be going your way? Sometimes I really do. On those days I can't ever remember why I think my life is so hard. It's one of those "I got this!" things. Today was not one of those days. Today I scrubbed and cleaned, ran errands, meal planned, caught up on laundry, and I felt good about doing my to do list.

And then my daughter ate a penny.

And then my sons rice toy exploded on my just cleaned room along with a "sand which party" that I apparently wasn't invited to that included bread crumbs mixed with rice.

I burnt dinner.

The perfect gift I thought I had found for my dad for Christmas had already been bought.

It was just one of those type of days. But instead of being depressed about it. I'm choosing to remember a good day. A day when everything is going good. Within this crazy day my son told me "Mom I love you! I love you when you play football with me." It was the highlight of my day. And the sad part is I didn't spend enough time at the moment doing it. It was there in my bad day. Thank you for reminding me son what is important.

Update on us: PA school is going strong and Adam has a big Christmas break and we are so grateful for it.

I worked for 2 months and now am a sub at my work so I am not always on catch up mode.

Life has been crazy but wonderful all at the same time.

Back to school!

2015-10-05T09:21:00.003-07:00

What an adventure we have been having!

We have been go go go. I just tried to find our most recent pictures and realized I haven't been taking very many. Which is exactly what I wanted! It means I am enjoying the moment more.

Today I am so excited because Adam only has 7 working days left and then we have a break before school starts!!!

We went to the children's museum today in phoenix and it's right by his school which means that some days maybe we will carpool and drop dad off at school and go to the museum. It's a super fun thought and it might just happen since it is getting so hot.

I took the kids to their first water park. Thayne couldn't believe how big the rides are. Our friends have season passes and get coupons for discounts and let us come for cheap. That's another season pass we are thinking about for next year.

Joslyn wasn't quite tall enough to do any of the rides so I am glad we didn't get them this year she was sad she couldn't go on a slide.

She loves to dress herself and wear moms sunglasses. She is turning into such a lady. We both wear skirts all the time because it is way cooler than shorts... No seriously way cooler.

We love arizona and plan to stay awhile. Even in the heat.

we survived June!

2015-10-05T09:21:00.001-07:00

What a crazy fun month. Full of ups and downs. Tears and pure joy!

I say survive because our routine is totally off (remember how much I need routine), Adam works nights and every other weekend (kills social life which I also need), and of course we have our first world trials.

But we made it! I learned so much about myself his past month and have been dying to share what I have been learning but I have to wait. My mind is still healing. I have felt therapy will help me with my anxiety and depression. More on that as it progresses. Thayne celebrated his 4th birthday. We are so grateful to have him apart of the family. I had a very real depressive episode (floor day longest one so far) the day before. Translating that no birthday party things were done. However I have a great husband who understands parenting is a two way deal and he totally helped me get this party together. Totally spaced the forks but it turned out into a super fun way to eat the cake. And we did pizza instead of a complicated lunch I had planned. Smiles were shared all around. Thank goodness kids don't care about all that stuff.

I've had a few people tell me that they can't even believe I get depressed, to be honest I have a hard time understanding that I get depressed. It sounds weird to explain my thoughts that I think in those very dark moments outloud. But they do happen and so do very good moments. The happiest of happy moments also happen and I am learning to hang onto those.

These pictures capture just a few of those happiest of happy moments that happened last month. Here's to july and Adam about to start school next month!

"Life ain't always beautiful but its a beautiful life"

2015-06-04T15:28:00.000-07:00

"Mama I'm the prince dancing with the princess Elsa"

Our castle has been readjusting the past couple of weeks.

Adam has been working nights and I've been in a dark place in my soul.

Adam has been holding everything together and I've just been present.

It's not something I choose or wanted it just happened.

As Josie Thompson calls it.. I had a 'floor day' or two or three...

floor day= not being being able to get up off the floor

It's not that my life isn't wonderful and its not that I don't know that.

In fact part of my depressive moments are knowing my life is so good so why am I sad?

With my routine completely off I broke down.

While my loving husband works, does dishes, gets food ready for everyone and my children ask "Is mama feeling better?"

My sweet babies worry about me.

I couldn't have asked for a better family or life.

During one of my 'floor days' I managed to get on the computer and buy a gym membership.

Exercise literally has saved my life.

It keeps me sane and keeps me going.

But I wouldn't have even thought to buy one if I hadn't felt a feeling in my soul that it would solve

many of my problems.

My husband also wouldn't be the way he is without help.

Somehow even in my darkest moments my most horrible thoughts

God is still there.

He has reminded me time and time again to notice His tender mercies.

The above picture is one of those tender mercies.

When I am doing my part (reading my scriptures, praying, serving, etc.)

my kids have moments like this. They play together, they giggle, and they have fun.

You can call it random or whatever you will but I know its very real.

Of course they fight everyday, but somehow its lesser. The fighting, crying, screaming, hitting, throwing doesn't last as long.

It may not seem like a miracle but to this tired mother this is

a great miracle.

Another tender mercy is that

my children who normally take 1/2 an hour to get ready to go anywhere

are ready in minutes to head to the gym.

And they LOVE being there.

It's so much nicer than trying to workout at home.

Our routine is still evolving but what we have going on right now is wonderful.

I'm glad I have these tender mercies even with my trials.

Chalk Paint Desk Makeover

2015-05-23T16:22:00.004-07:00

Hurray for pinterest right?

I bought this thrifted desk for a decent price ($15? It was awhile ago) and have been waiting for the right time to paint it.

The time finally came! I wanted to do a fun bright blue but decided that maybe next year I won't be so crazy about the blue color.

Then we found these super cool knobs from home depot with the exact blue I love!

I settled on white it makes the room more open and is easier on my already crazy brain.

Before

After

Close up of the knobs

I love how it turned out.

I bought all the paint from Lowes.

The guys there mixing paint knew what I was trying to do and mixed up my gray to the exact color I wanted. In fact I used the recipe right off the Lowes website for the chalk paint.

I bought a book at the goodwill to use as a mousepad so not to scratch the paint.

I read many reviews of newbies saying chalk paint was really hard and they had problems of clumping but I had ZERO problems and enjoyed the project. I did hand sand a few spots after painting to make sure it was smooth. It was my first time chalk painting and now I want to paint everything.

oh and if you notice I have a piece of hardware missing. Apparently older furniture uses sizes that are not found just anywhere. I can't find any hardware for under $15 same amount as I paid for the whole desk... so I am saving up for one since I spent all my money on paint and the other knobs.

what do you think?

10 ways to destress and to be happy naturally

2015-04-25T18:00:00.001-07:00

Since I have opened up about having depression and anxiety I have had a lot of messages asking me about how I fight it. I currently do not take any medication and I haven't seen a doctor for it. Its such a personal choice and a sensitive matter I hope you understand what works or doesn't work for me may not ring true for you. Depression runs in my family. I've taken the quiz at the doctors to see if you have depression and of course according to medical records I'm fine. Thats because I know what answers to say. I lied to my doctor about post-pardom it was easy to me. I was lying to myself about my feelings it was easy to lie to the doctor. Someday I hope to be able to afford going to a therapist. For now my husband, family, and friends serve in that capacity. I had a tender mercy of getting to go to a church activity and listen to a professional counselor speak about loving ourselves and letting go of negative thoughts. Just that one activity has helped me so much. I can't even imagine what more could do. Maybe in a few years. Again remember this is what works for ME, and I do recommend talking to a doctor/therapist if you can.

1. Being creative- this doesn't come naturally to me. I used to sew, now it stresses me out. I recently have discovered I love to paint. Painting doesn't have to be perfect, and it can be whatever I want it to be. I recently read that patients from a mental hospital wished so deperately that they had a painting room. I thought that was interesting people with mental health issues share this common interest. Try PAINTING.

2. Having a clean house- sounds easy enough... unless you have kids. To achieve this the best that I can with my two cuties has been to get rid of stuff. If you are interested in learning where to start visit becoming minimalist.com If you think minimalism is too extreme for you I recommend Unstuff Your Life! by Andrew J. Mellen click here to see his book. I borrowed that book from the library. Not only does he help you cut clutter he helps you organize it. Many times I felt like I was having actual conversations with him while reading the book. Only of course to realize I was talking to a book in my backyard.

3. Get outdoors. For me this is many things and usually my go to especially when a clean house is not happening. Things that destress me and make me happy are: hiking, running, snowboarding, boating, kayaking, racquetball, tennis, soccer, anything athletic, also.... tanning. Now before you go all skin cancer crazy on me, I lay out in my backyard for about 1/2 an hour. Yes I realize skin cancer is a risk. Having depression and anxiety also makes me suicidal. Its lose lose. I love laying out in the sun. If you find something else that makes you very happy and you can avoid skin cancer by all means go ahead. For me laying out in the sun get a tan makes me happy.

Even in the snow I was outside :)

4. Exercise. This is a tricky one because something that stresses me out is healthiness, weight, muscle tone, blah blah blah. I try not to (at least for now) train for anything in particular. I exercise simply because it brings me joy. I stay in shape but I try not to compete with anyone but myself. I hope that makes sense. If competing brings you joy do it. For me it brings more negative thoughts about myself when I don't make my "goal".

5. Rest. Take a day to rest. For awhile I thought Sunday was my day off. I go to church, try to keep the sabbath day holy. I would always joke that this day was anything but rest. I've come to learn that resting from earthly cares is different than resting. On Thursdays I rest. If I don't feel like exercising I don't. If I want to lay in the tub while the kids nap I do it. I skip chores, I shut off my phone for hours sometimes almost all day. I learned this from another blogger who has 4 boys. She also said she writes thank you notes to people, or goes and does service, like play the piano at an assisted living home. Some Thursdays you need to pamper yourself and sometimes you have to go and forget yourself. Your day doesn't have to be Thursday and it might not even be all day. But set a time in your calendar to have time to yourself. I highly recommend shutting your phone off because that always seems the time when my phone is going off like crazy. Also lack of sleep is a huge problem setting off all my triggers. Get enough sleep as much as you can. If you have a baby and other kids don't be afraid to ask a friend to take your kids for a little bit so you can sleep. Trust me you'll be glad you did.

6. Do Service. It is easy to stay depressed and stressed out when you are only worried about yourself. Don't do anything crazy or big at first. Start small. Make the bed for your loved one, write a nice note, sing a song, say a prayer. I always thought it would be so neat to go and help in another country. While that is still a dream of mine, I realized that I can do so much here and now. It may not seem like you are making a big impact but a kind note goes a long way.

7. Give something away. There is nothing that brings joy to the heart than watching someone else joy over something you gave them. I cried tears of joy once because someone dropped brand new clothes off at our house that we couldn't afford for our toddler. They didn't get to see my face but I hope they know how much happiness it brought us. Even anonymous gifts can make you happy. I feel happiness every time I donate a box to the thrift store. Less for me to clean (win), they have things to sell (win), someone else can use the item (win)!

8. Routine. This is a hard one because I am young but I have quickly learned life is anything BUT routine. My mother suggested this to me as far as routine; make a list of things you need to do, make a list of things you would like to do, you don't have to have a set time but even when everything feels out of control this has helped. I try to have a semi schedule. For instance at our house I know we are going to have meals throughout the day I try to have them all generally at the same time each day, naps are about at the same time. I run errands in the afternoon now I do prefer morning but my husband now works swing shift (2:00pm-10:00pm) so I'd rather run errands while he isn't home unless I want to go alone which now I can do in the morning. When days aren't routine I have to tell myself routinely I need some NOT mundane everyday type of day. Sounds silly but if I feel like I "scheduled it" I handle it better. doesn't mean I don't ever do sporadic. Trust me if you ask anyone I hang out with they will probably tell you I planned a get together the day before or the day of. HA it works for now.

9. Eat healthy. Not what you wanted to hear I know. Changing my diet has been huge. There are so many food choices and sometimes its hard to know what is healthy and then you have to meal plan. For me I am on a green smoothie girl diet. I bought her books and blender. She has meal plans, shopping lists, tips and tricks on how to save money. Check out her website here I could rave about this forever and could spend a whole blog on how much I love green smoothie girl so for now I'll leave it at that. Feel free to email me if you have any questions about what I eat.

10. Be nice to yourself. Its easy to feel like you are a horrible person for having depression/anxiety. I listened to Josie Thompson speak one of the key things I learned from her is that you can still be full of light as you fight this darkness. She is a much better speaker than me and you should totally check out her blog here. I've learned that its ok to have panic attacks, depressive episodes, crying/screaming sessions. You aren't a bad person. God hasn't forgotten you. I wrote out an I am motto for me it goes something like this

I am happy
I am kind
I am beautiful
I am grateful
I am loved
I am a good mom
I am a daughter of God
I am excited about today

I hung it in my bathroom so I could see it. Negative talk is not helpful. I can feel my chemical imbalance go all nuts when I add things to my mind like... i hate my nose, i have no friends, I'm a horrible mother, blah blah blah... STOP. For every mean thing you say to yourself say 3 nice things. Seriously do it. It's life changing.

I hope this helps. I am in no way paid by any of these awesome people I have talked about that have helped. My sole purpose in posting this is to help someone who suffers with anxiety/depression. If you have other tips please post them! Remember I'm not perfect at any of the above suggestions. I just noticed that these help me. Also if you have any other questions or want to know more details about anything please contact me.

my email is alysehassellATyahooDOTcom

Oh and bonus one... if you couldn't already tell I LOOOOOVEE reading, blogs, articles, books, newspapers. Whatever reading takes me a different state of mind. I need it.

Joslyn turns 2!!!

2015-04-02T13:40:00.001-07:00

I love parties, I love celebrating, I love good moments that I never want to end. I'm learning to savor moments instead of worrying about the next thing I need to do. When something awesome is happening I need to be there. This past week I had the wonderful opportunity to have my family in town.

We got to go to the zoo. Mum took Thayne on a camel ride. Joslyn chickened out last minute.

I didn't take a lot of pictures at the zoo because honestly I was soaking it all in. My kids loved being with grandma and grandpa at the zoo. I even teared up there were so many beautiful moments. Happiness is truly beautiful.

One of my favorite childhood memories of time spent with my mother is sewing with her. Which is why I wanted so desperately to be good at it. When Joslyn climbed on my mum's lap I couldn't help but savor this moment. It brought back a lot of fond memories.

Uncle Garett had a birthday on Friday so we celebrated by making a watermelon cake ours may not be pinterest worthy but I hear it tasted delicious. (I'm allergic) happiness here was seeing everyone enjoy the "cake" even though I couldn't share in the tastiness. I shared in the joy of celebrating a sweet Garett would eat and enjoy. Joslyn was sad about something here. I'm pretty sure it's because we wouldn't let her lick anymore whip cream off until we got a picture.

Spending time with Lauren is always a treat. She made the Olaf you see in the background and all the noses with it. Her and Garett were great entertainers for the kids!

Here's Olaf! Totally done free hand. I can't wait to see what she does when she becomes a mom. Step aside pinterest.

Here is Joslyn's new friend Brielle playing pin the nose on Olaf. We are so grateful they came.

The kids. Cousin Mayli is so sweet and knows how to strike a pose. She didn't even mind being at a toddler party :)

The cake that mum and Garett made.

Towards the end of the party Joslyn just wanted to hang out with cousin Ryan.

She was cracking us all up while she opened her gifts.

Joslyns party was so fun. I totally forgot to charge our camera but I had so much fun and was savoring the party I don't know if I would have gotten very much pictures anyway.

It's so nice to have family in arizona. It was also so fun to have my family come. Now that I'm further away from home. I am treasuring this time together so much more

My sickness

2015-02-26T11:30:00.001-08:00

God understands all.

Everything, and He understands it perfectly. Hence why as mortals it is impossible for us to judge eternal matters as He does. Of course we are required to judge things. For instance, we have to judge what is appropriate for our family. It always amazes me what is right for my family is not right for another.

Already with my family I've noticed some differences from the home I grew up in. I believe my parents raised me the way they should have and did things the best they could. And did what was right for our family. With my own family I've been doing some things the same some things different. It's mind blowing seriously.

And so it is that I want to get into what type of things I want to talk about that I have been afraid to open up about. I feel like God wants me to share my story. Even though my story sharing may only help one person. Me.

I matter that much to Him. Through my struggles and trials He has always been there. But I am forgetful at times. Writing has become my memory bank.

I can remember a particular day my freshman year of college where I just couldn't understand my dad. I was frustrated. Why was he the way he was? I found (and later figured out I was guided) a letter that my dad wrote to his dad. I won't share what was in the letter because it was so personal and hard for my dad to write. Why would writing a letter to your dad be so hard?

Here is where things get emotional for me

I never met my grandfather, my dad didn't meet him either. My grandfather was a smart man. And helped many who struggled with math learn to love it. He also only had one arm. He climbed the Tetons despite physical limitations.

There was one BIG physical limitation he couldn't shake. He had a chemical imbalance. Which made him fall into depression. Which helped him make choices that ultimately left him feeling like his only way out was to take his own life.

I don't ever judge him. I pray that someday I get to meet him. Modern medicine is so much more advanced than it was when he was alive. Why do I tell you all this?

Well if you understand my family history you'll understand where I am coming from a bit better. My parents have always been open with us kids about feelings and especially feelings of sorrow and depression.

I have to admit I even found myself viewing depression as a weakness. A man made weakness. Then Elder Holland came out with a talk that blew my mind. What if we treated physical illnesses the way we treated mental illnesses? "Can't you just NOT have cancer?" "Just make the bleeding stop!" "Can't you just push through the throwing up?"

Sounds silly doesn't it?

I'm here to tell you that what I call the cancer of the mind is very real. And I have it.

It's weird to say because depressed is not a word I would use to describe myself. In fact I consider myself a happy person. So how in the world do I have depression? I could go on and on about chemical imbalances in your mind but in short. Things that healthy minds could shake off in an hour, or a day. For a sick mind take so much longer and sometimes are impossible without medication. Imagine having a sickness that the only way to get over it was to have an antibiotic. Would you take it?

That doesn't mean everyone with chemical imbalances need medicine all of the time or maybe not even ever if mild enough.

Or that healthy minds can't ever get sick for a period of time.

Now you might be thinking "well what kind of depressed are you talking about? Because everyone gets depressed."

Very true. Everyone does, we lose a loved one, get a lifetime illness, or even go through relationship separations. These are all very depressing. And can take a very very very long time to heal from.

The kind of depressed I'm talking about is something that despite all your efforts is there. Everyday could be a depressing day for me. I have learned about "triggers". Triggers being things that set off depression/anxiety. And I try my hardest to stay far away from them.

Some of mine are

Not having a routine

Not having money

Anything that doesn't go according to plan

Frustrating people

Frustrating situations

Something breaking

Losing people

Not knowing what is happening next

Moving

Being away from loved ones

I'm sure there are more things I could add but sounds like life right? I have to talk myself out of freaking out over the smallest things. For instance today I took my kids to the park (part of our new routine 😀) then my kids couldn't agree on which park to go to. Then once we came to an agreement on a park (we made a plan 😀) my son threw the biggest fit in the middle of the road. Suddenly both kids were screaming saying they didn't want this park they wanted another one. Even after they specifically told me the park we were currently headed too. Frustrating people, frustrating situation, change of plans, change of routine. But I was able to handle it. I had to tell myself there was a solution and we would go to another park. Disaster diverted. Still had our routine.

Now that one was easy but you can see how I have my triggers and some situations are easier for my sick mind to work out of.

There is a very very sick part of my mind that does tell me life is not worth living. That is not me. In fact it feels weird saying it out loud but it happens. And I know I'm not the only one and that's why I want to share it.

These moments are in my case rare but very serious. And I'm not a doctor but I would say this is a good time to go see one. Or even sooner if necessary.

We knew we were moving, we thought we knew when, no job, no money, but we knew we were supposed to move. This is how we got to arizona. We thought we had a place lined up we thought we had a full time job lined up. So we made preparations to move. The house didn't work out. We weren't real sure on the job our lease was ending and to my sick mind everything spiraled out of control. Everything looked so hopeless even though we were moving so Adam could go to school.

I'm going to call a chemical imbalance/depressed mind what it is, a sick mind. It is not me. Someone who has cancer doesn't say I am cancer. So therefore I am not depressed. I have a chemical imbalance that causing me to feel depression. Got the difference? I am a happy person who gets sick. When you see me you would probably never guess I struggle with feelings of hopelessness.

Read that a couple of times^

Eek can you tell I'm nervous to share the rare instances? Maybe I'll save it for another day. This post is long enough.

The most simple special Valentine's Day

2015-02-17T09:13:00.001-08:00

Our Valentine's Day to others probably seems so simple and plain. Some might even go as far as to call it boring.

We didn't watch a risqué movie, we didn't go to the club, we didn't even have a romantic just the two of us date. The media has portrayed Valentine's Day to be this day really about "doing the dirty" as one of my friends called it. I mean honestly. That's what the whole day has become about.

Can I tell you how this v-day was my favorite and it wasn't focused on "doing the dirty"? First of all there are these beautiful roses I got.

I wasn't expecting them at all. These beautiful flowers set off the mood for a classic evening. Adam came home from work Friday (he worked all day and night Saturday so we actually celebrated a day early) he brought home some food and cooked me a way better than red lobster meal. Because I love seafood. It was a meal we could all enjoy as a FAMILY. The meal was so perfect and after our meal we listened to classic Burt Bacharach songs. And danced I danced with Adam. Our kids danced together. I laughed and cried. It was a beautiful moment. I didn't want it to end. What could be more romantic than dancing with your sweetheart and watching your sweet son trying to figure out how to slow dance with his sister? I couldn't have imagined anything else I could have wanted to do.

After everyone was tired of dancing we sat around our fire pit and made s'mores. We watched the fire together and I enjoyed the sound of laughter. And watching Thayne stuff as many marshmallows in his mouth as he could because I said "last smore!"

We had the kids so wound up we ended up taking a very long time getting them to bed. And enjoyed a quiet evening together.

It was a perfect day. There were no real "gifts". Adam made me a dinner that will probably be requested again shortly, and I set up dancing to Adams favorite songs. Our day was about our family and our love that we share together. It is a day I will cherish.

No pictures were taken I just enjoyed it all and soaked it all in (if you can't tell the flowers picture was taken today).

We were spoiled on v-day during Adams 2 hour break to go on a bike ride and look at model homes. Just the two of us. Thanks to wonderful Aunt Cindy. It just added to a perfect weekend.

Simplicity is where it is at. No big stuffed animal, no jewlery, no amount of chocolate could have ever replaced what we all shared that day. I'm loving the simple life.

Arizona House part 2 (video tour)

2015-01-28T11:15:00.002-08:00

Master bedroom, Bathroom and Closet

Thats it. we love our rental house. We feel so spoiled with all this room we have.

Our Arizona House Part 1

2015-01-28T10:49:00.001-08:00

We have been in this house for almost two weeks.

Here is our tour a few people have wanted to see our house.

It is not in its perfect state. But I thought it would be a good idea to show a video now because

I have an easier time seeing progress that way.

I broke it into segments because I am not good with technology, its a real thing.

Not much of the house is organized yet but hey give me a break its only been two weeks!

Part 2 has the master bedroom and bathroom. And PS this could take a very long time to load.

Front door, entry way, living room and formal dining room turned into a piano room

Kitchen and dining area, pantry

Work out room, art room, office, playroom,

Linen closet, laundry room, kids bunk bed

Kids toys and closet

Main bathroom / Guest Bathroom

Guest room

Our move to Arizona

2015-01-17T20:01:00.001-08:00

After years of wondering, praying, crying, laughing, and simplifying we came to this day. Adam and I have been in limbo for 3 years basically ever since we graduated college. We went from cowboying lifestyle to business master to vet to now a PA. Two of those three years were spent in logan, Utah. I fell in love with logan from the first time I went there. Peaceful, hometown feel but everything you need close. We always had what we needed even when our income was zero. We will miss it dearly but are so excited for this new adventure. And now we are here!

I took the above picture as we left logan. Praying that I would drive safe in the snow. I'm terrified of driving

in the snow. But we made it fine.

We had some minor trials here

The previous renters to our awesome house were hard on the place. We had one toliet that had water spewing out, a hot water hook up problem, and this sink that would not drain. Luckily we got the plumber to come out today and now all our plumbing problems are gone :)

We also got to hang out with my cousins Robyn and her daughter Abby. The kids are in heaven. They love having family close and I've heard Joslyn wisper Abby's name all evening. We also have got to spend time with Adam's Aunt Cindy. And Adams Mema is coming over tomorrow. And then next week we are having a family party for Abby :) we prayed so hard to go to a school near family. And we feel so blessed to be here. This is the furthest we have ever lived from my family but we found some cheap flights round trip salt lake to phoenix. And we have a room we are saving for guests. So we plan on lots of visitors. Today I was reminded to pray more personally and so I added that to my New Years resolutions.

Ooh also if you were wondering what my verdict was about deleting my facebook... I decided to keep it. :) but I don't know my password. It sounds silly but it works so good for me. I set a time to be on and Adam logs me in. I didn't realize how much I was on it until I did it. A half an hour goes by quick. I feel like a better mom. It's working well for me and is apart of another resolution I have to "break up" with my phone. Thanks for all your support and those of you who sent me messages telling me You liked having me on facebook. It reminded me why I liked being on there. To see how people are doing. It's something I enjoy. Now I don't have to feel I'm losing all my friends. Especially since we are so far away. Thanks for the good times logan.

What if my talents are different?

2015-01-08T19:50:00.001-08:00

It seems I'm aways having to reassure myself that I even have talents.

Lovely pictures, beautiful quilts, elaborate crafts, CEO wonder women, fashionistas, diy naturals, and even how to remodels cover the web. I seem to be good at none of the above things. But it's what people, specifically moms are doing right now. (Oh and sales I can't even begin to tell you how horrible I am at sales. ) I'm not even very good at blogging.

So I had to think very hard about my talents and I realized none of my talents may make me money. But hopefully I can make someone in the world feel good.

I know I know you're dying to know what my talents are.

Spending time with people. I love hanging out. I could listen to stories of people's lives all day.

Doing dishes. That doesn't mean my dishes are perfect but there is something about doing dishes at a friends house that is much more fun.

I can get rid of things? Who knew that was a talent. I can't wait for the day my kids can help put things away but when I can pick up the house in 15 minutes. Life is good.

Remembering faces. I never forget a face unless that face changed then you'll have to give me a break

Outdoors woman- I do love a good hiking challenge.

I'm sure I have a few other talents but those were on the top of my head. Whenever I start down this spiral of "oh I wish I was good at make up, or taking pictures, or quilting, or whatever it may be" I now stop and think about my talents. They may not generate any sort of income but I enjoy them.

Do we ever make up our minds? Maybe!

2014-12-28T14:49:00.002-08:00

Our family has made a lot of hard decisions lately.

May not seem hard to some families but to ours deciding where to live and when to move has been

pretty crazy.

It's official! Well, sort of...

This is what is the plan as of today,

We are moving to arizona.

We are hoping to move into a house different from the one previously posted on instagram

We are planning on now moving the 15th of January.

(Not this upcoming Wednesday as planned before)

This new plan will save us money and we feel right about it.

We have been praying where to live for awhile.

And recently we found a place that is not only affordable but in a safe location.

We know we were guided to find this place to live.

The tender mercies of the Lord are everywhere.

So grateful Adam was able to notice all the things that helped guide us in our decisions.

We are so excited for our new adventure in sun and hot.

We feel a bit like olaf asking for summer.

Adam doesn't start school till August but we didn't want to wait till then.

Hopefully by moving in January we will be able to prepare better for the Arizona heat!

This year has been a crazy year full of life changing events we are so grateful for our new opportunities and that Adam found a career he will enjoy before starting vet school.

Thayne is fast as can be and while we were away searching for housing and jobs, he ran a mile and half with my mom! He is so smart and loves all things mechanical.

Joslyn is growing so fast and is only 1 shoe size different from her older brother. She loves all things princess despite my best efforts. She loves singing and dancing to frozen.

I am still trying to wrap my head around being a mom. I love being home with the kids. It's a feeling I can't really describe. Its something that brings you the greatest sorrow and the most joy. All at once.

Really the only way to experience it is to try it. I feel so blessed I am able to do this.

I had a part time job cleaning apartments but I am still undecided if that will continue in Arizona.

As of right now packing and decluttering is my job!

Dear high school you were so 2007

2014-12-02T08:54:00.001-08:00

We are having to down size again. We will be living in a 2 bedroom apartment with 2 kids for 2 years. Which isn't too crazy and we certainly aren't the only people doing this. But somehow it's surprisingly difficult to get rid of things in order to make it possible to fit into a two bedroom. I've started to go through sentimental things and create some very small boundaries there.

One big thing I got rid of was my year books... I was in one picture in 2 years in a row. And then my senior picture didn't turn out in my last year book and check out this picture...

I'm in the middle crease. I'm not even by anyone I know. I went through my year book with feelings that I never wanted to feel again. Hurt, uncertainty, and feelings of low self-esteem among some of them. Sure high school happened and it wasn't my favorite. But I can save the pieces I do like and teach that to my kids. I saved two pages that I wanted out of my whole year books. I don't feel any remorse letting them go. However I do have personal pictures that I took of my favorite times. They take up way less space and bring back happy memories.

My husband on the other hand was very involved in his school and had a great experience. I will keep his year books probably forever. And I actually want to attend his 10 year reunion. Mine is still up in the air.

Have you kept your year books? Do people even buy them anymore?

Happiness is everywhere

2014-11-10T13:53:00.001-08:00

I opened up my cash envelope at the register. I counted the dollars and gave the money to the cashier. I looked back into my envelope. All that was left was a dollar. I smiled and grabbed my groceries. I didn't want to start crying as that was the last dollar I had and there was still awhile to pay day.

That's a normal scene for us. Probably normal for a lot of people right now. Adam and I got back into credit card debt. Not because we were buying fancy things but because it's all we could do to pay for the things we needed.

I read a study that people like to appear wealthy to others. And that is especially true on facebook. Most people who meet us are surprised to find out we don't have much. So I'm here to clarify how life is.

We had both cards almost maxed out. I had been praying for a solution and it came. I was able to start a cleaning business and that has almost gotten one card paid off and made it so we haven't had to go deeper into debt. Adam got accepted to school and is now seeking employment in Arizona.

We are selling everything we can to earn money to move and to continue to get out of debt. But we aren't sad about it.

I think that's the part that confuses most people. We are poor and happy. I've learned so many things I never would have learned had we bought a house back in 2011. I've learned to give because we always find people here who have way less than us. I've learned to let "things" go. The most important things in life are people.

I also know that God has helped me. I couldn't be happy without Him. Every time I think we won't make it financially, the spirit will prompt me to sell something. Or donate something. And somehow we haven't missed one bill. I have gotten so much strength from this trying time. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

How to NOT get your deposit back

2014-10-06T20:55:00.001-07:00

I've grown up hearing about rentals. I've cleaned rentals, I've lived in rentals. I currently clean rentals and live in a rental.

I think I know a thing or two about getting your deposit back. But as I tried to write a list of ways to get your deposit back they just seemed so obvious "Clean it!" Kept coming up. So instead of writing a how to I'm going to write a how not to.

Ways not to get your deposit back:

1.Don't clean

-not a thing. This is the sure way to not get your deposit back

2. Put holes in the walls

-the bigger the better.

3. Make sure every light bulb is out

-nothing makes a land lord happier than all the lights out

4. Rub food all over the cabinets

-better yet leave some food in the fridge

5. Try to fix things yourself

-the more duct tape the better your chances

6.Don't pay rent for the month

7.Whatever you do, don't report the plumbing leak

-landlords love surprises like that

8. Avoid communication

-communicating problems could get your deposit back so be sure to NOT talk to maintaince or manager or anyone

9. Leave "treasures" for future renters

- taking that couch to the Di when someone could get it for free??!

10. Do all the above things and then demand your deposit back

Ok but seriously. If you really want to get your deposit back.

1.Ask your manager if there is a checklist for things they expect done before you move out. Solves a lot of problems then you both are on the same page. Be there for the walk through if at all possible. I ALWAYS get my deposit back that way we can talk about things ... "Oh I didn't know I needed to buy new drip pans..." Problem adverted.

2. Talk about damages to apartment as they come along.

Things go a lot smoother when problems aren't piled up. People are much happier to fix things when you are paying rent.

3. Ummm pay rent

Seriously someone asked me if they cleaned the place would they get their deposit back even though they didn't pay rent.

4. Take your crap to the landfill or the DI. No one wants to haul it off for you except for a price.

5. Ask if there is anything you can do if there are damages. Some things they might let you fix some things they won't. TALK TO THEM!!

6. Clean as best you can. They aren't expecting perfection but trust me I can tell the difference in efforts.

That's it! Does this sound about right? I should make a list of what to clean for an almost guaranteed way

What are we up to? Let me tell ya!

2014-09-03T12:53:00.001-07:00

Its a common enough question for this mom and I'm sure many of you. Sometimes it might even seem I'm on Facebook all day, or just hanging out. But here is what we have been up to...

Adam- has applied to 11 PA schools he has now heard back from 3 of them :) he has an interview in Arizona next month. He also is taking an online class and working as a CNA. Everyone at the assisted living center where he works loves him. They all go on and on about Adam. Good thing they are old ladies otherwise I might be in trouble ;)

Thayne- has started joy school and loves it. He is learning so much and still loves being outside. Hopefully we have some good winter gear for him because he is going to need it.

(Here he is at joy school)

Joslyn- is starting to talk (what?!??) she is my girlie girl that knows what she wants to wear (or no clothes). Actually Thayne is quite the fashionista too.

Me- well ya know... Just hiking with Adam. Teaching joy school, being a nursery leader, vt coordinator, and... I'm starting my own business!!!! I'm going to hopefully start cleaning apartments. Which is something I've do as since I was 16. Hopefully we will make enough money to cover extra travel expenses as Adam does interview and the time off he will have to take.

Yup that's our lives right now. I have so much to blog about but for now this is a great update.

Me in 2007 on Timpagonous, 2014 Adam in the same spot. This was an important picture because my cousin said I couldn't date a guy until he took a picture in that spot... Well obviously 5 years of marriage later we got around to it!

Adams eventful birthday

2014-07-26T12:35:00.000-07:00

I wanted to make Adams 27th birthday really special. Because he thought it was just another birthday. I'm grateful everyday that he was born so I could be with him. I know I'm selfish. I wanted to make sure this was a birthday he wouldn't forget maybe it will be maybe it won't but I don't think I'm what made it unforgettable...

So first off we ran a 1/2 marathon for his birthday. Adam got 1st in his age group. Got a personal record and won a belt buckle. 2 goals he set to do.

Garett won the whole darn race!!! And didn't even train all summer.

Then he wanted a nice cream cake... Bam! Didn't even have to make it. This is a face he has made ever since he was little. It cracks me up. Thayne makes the same face.

Then I had a gift surprise for him to try to help him get excited about his birthday all day. I set up 7 gifts (I didn't want to do 27) that he would start opening and 11:07 and open one up every hour on the 7th minute until all the gifts were open. I didn't get a picture of it though. Look it up on Pinterest you'll find it... Here is the reason I didn't get as many pictures as I wanted, exhibit a: boating.

This isn't our first time boating and surely not our last but Adam does have a bad shoulder and although this picture is sweet he knew he shouldn't have done that last jump... But he did and ended up,

In the ER with a dislocated shoulder. Not the first time dislocating it but first time it took two doctors to put it back in. He sent me this selfie by the way. The babies fell asleep on our way to the emergency room. So I sat in the car with them while I trusted my handsome man to the hospital staff in Ogden. Once the kids woke up we went in and took Adam one of his gifts. We tried to stick to the hour thing. You can imagine why I didn't get pictures. It was hectic! Oh and this crazy guy didn't want to be stuck at the hospital all day so all he had was Advil. He never sends me selfies so I thought for sure he was drugged up. Nope. He just manages pain like a champ. The last gift I gave him was this...

A giant picture of our family done for $30.00 I looked up on Pinterest about Engineering prints and had one printed out and then took it to hobby lobby and had them put a foam backing. It looks amazing. And for that price you can't beat it! I can't stop staring at it. Adam couldn't wait to get it up on the wall.

Being married to Adam is the best thing I've ever done in my life. This man of mine is incredible. He works so hard in fact he went to work the next day of his birthday. He does everything without complaint. Even when I ask him to hand me something and I'm closer to it. He makes life so fun and enjoyable. He is close to God. He is an amazing father and husband. I don't know how I got so lucky to have him but I'm grateful to be the one he choose to spend his eternity with. I love you babe!!

Oh and big PA school news, Adam finished his application we should start hearing about interview this fall :)

Because I run like a girl

2014-07-10T09:27:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been thinking about where I stand on things. Like everything. There is so much to be opinionated about these days. And I hate talking politics because really only two parties? I'll leave those posts to bloggers who love to argue. Luckily there is more than politics to be opinionated about. I recently saw a video called #likeagirl. I had to watch it to see what it was all about. I was impressed.

You have to watch it too otherwise you will have no idea what I am talking about...

My mother and father raised me to believe I could do anything I wanted. In fact I spent many childhood days dreaming of being a pro soccer player. Although soccer nor volleyball happened in high school like I had thought I found out that runners were athletes too. I had unfortunate event happen to my body in high school that effected my speed and it did not increase my senior year. Even though my medley relay team broke our school record I still wasn't fast enough. I didn't tell anyone but I did want to run in college on a team. The amazing thing about running is that you don't need a team. I can always run. So what does that have to do with the video? I want my children to know what it means to me to do things "like a girl". To me running like a girl means pushing physical limits. Attempting to brush aside the want of chocolate... And then giving in and having to run with a belly full of chocolate. Running like a girl means no excuses. I have my babies and I run with them. Running like a girl also means being a proud winner but also a good loser. Adam can out run me any day. It's a fact. But that doesn't stop me from trying to keep up with him. In fact to take this picture he had to slow down and push the stroller...

Exercise is important to me. That's why I studied it in college. I love learning how my body works and how to make it stronger. I saw a quote on Pinterest that said "I don't want to be someone else I want to be me but healthier and stronger". That rings true for me as well. I'm proud to run like a girl. I'm proud to be a girl. I'm striving to have a positive outlook about my body. Sure it has flaws but it's all I got so I'm going to work with it. And I'm going to keep on running no matter who is passing me.

Why this California girl loves Utah

2014-07-07T12:52:00.002-07:00

Yup thats right. I love Utah.

Go ahead and judge.

I grew up in California as a child. I thought maybe someday I would return again.

Adam and I visited and as I went back to my hometown I realized

something was missing.

Home

It wasn't there at all. People thought my parents were crazy because we lived in

San Diego (actually in San Diego not on the outskirts)

some people say they are from there but they aren't...

anyway isn't that where people want to stay forever?

Mild weather, the beach, laid back people, the beach, THE BEACH!!!

The funny thing about living in San Diego is that I got bored of the beach.

My mom was so shocked when I was ok to move to Idaho as a sophomore in high school.

From Idaho it was only a matter of time before I moved to Utah.

I feel like Utah gets a bad rep from a lot of people. Yes there are definitely some extreme LDS people (Mormons) out here and some judgey people (aren't there everywhere?)

But there are a lot of good people here. Even ones that aren't Mormon.

I love the mountains,

I love the snow,

I love that people want to help each other,

I love the summers,

I love the springs,

I love feeling safe,

I love that people migrate here,

I love that I can hike and only travel 30 minutes,

I love my new home.

I didn't get to mention we were able to be apart of a Marshall Island wedding, right here in Utah.

It was a wonderful experience. These Marshallize (hopefully spelled that right) people have also come to love Utah as well. I love other cultures and learning from them.

I thought I was doing good at minimizing until I met them, but thats another story for another day.

I don't know if we will call Utah home forever. In fact our lives are going to change in a year.

Adam is applying to PA school this month.

He is applying to 2 schools in Utah, 2 in Arizona, at least 5 out east, maybe 1 in Oregon, and maybe even a few more.

I know our Father in Heaven guided us here to Logan, Utah.

I'm still learning the why we are here.

We have met incredible people who have helped us learn and grow.

I am guessing this must be why.

I also know we will be guided to our next home.

I'm happy to have grown up in California, I'm also happy to be here right now.

Miracles are happening in our lives everyday.

All I can do is try to remember them all when I get frustrated.

Heres to the future whatever it may hold. I may look back and smile at the past. But my heart lives for what is ahead. Even though it is completely unknown.