Insights

Manic Thursdays!

2013-09-05T16:15:00.001-07:00

It is a rainy Thursday almost-afternoon.

I do not like Thursdays. It's completely psychological, but nonetheless, I want today to be over.

I don't mind the rain. It's just Thursday that I do mind.

Thursdays are worse than Mondays. I think that is my issue here.

I think I'm missing the bigger picture here though.

I am not enjoying one day out of the week.

That's four days per month that I don't like--maybe five.
That's 48 days per year that I don't like.
In a lifetime of 75 years, that is a total of 3,600 days that I don't like.

That's a lot of days.

That's a lot of irritation.

I need a change of attitude!

How to Find Beauty in Real Life

2013-05-02T19:24:00.002-07:00

Hi dear readers,

First off, if you are here reading this from a link posted on the Facebook page, Simply Bellezza, then please note that this isn't my normal "beauty" blog. This blog is where I talk about spirituality and self-discovery. If you browse through older posts, you'll find posts about my journey--it's a very personal blog and I don't update it that often, sadly. It's one that I update only when I feel the inspiration.

Today, I feel this inspiration.

I have been feeling a deep sadness for our world in its current state. People are hurting each other, allowing darkness and evil to take over--and what baffles me the most is that deep down, I want to believe that people are intrinsically good. As a Christian, I believe that each of us, no matter our own religious backgrounds or preferences, are born with a little bit of God in our hearts. We have good in us, despite the falling of Adam and Eve. God doesn't create garbage. The world creates garbage and that's because the world is full of evil.

Yesterday, May 1, 2013, was an interesting day here in Seattle. It seemed normal, aside from spring fever and the sunshine...until the evening came and people who were participating in anti-capitalism marches in downtown Seattle started to get violent. I work a full-time job in a neighboring city near Seattle, and I commute by bus. My bus comes into a tunnel station and I am dropped off in the heart of downtown--exactly half a block from where the riots began and where, not even an hour later, tear gas was deployed on those who wouldn't stop their violence.

I was oblivious because I have a protector. I got off my bus nearly anywhere between 15-30 minutes before the horrible commotion began, and had diverted my normal commute home to stop at a store a block away.

When I finished shopping, I started walking a few blocks down the road to catch my bus home. Looking at my One Bus Away app, I saw that my bus was running about 25 minutes late...as were several others. This was really strange to me, but I still thought nothing of it.

While I continued to walk, I came across a man, whom I saw picking himself up off the ground. He wore dirty clothes that most would throw out into a dumpster. His hair unclean. His clothes hanging on him like sheets. His jeans bunched up at the bottom of his holy boots. He staggered along, trying to keep his balance, tripping over his feet and walking dizzily across a busy street. Most people just walk on by...and all I saw did.

Except me.

I felt so sad for this man. Perhaps I am a huge sap, but I instantly started to tear up and get really overwhelmed with emotion. My heart hurt for him, so I followed him. I instantly started to pray for him because I was scared that he would get really hurt. It was overwhelming to me that no one else gave him a second glance. Why would nobody else stop and even ask him if he was okay?

No, this is NOT him. This came from
www.thehomelessblog.wordpress.com.

At some point, he found a place to sit down and I walked up to him, mustering up some courage, mind you, to ask him if he was okay. He said he was not okay and he said it with such finality and hopelessness that I would have broken down and started bawling for him. Instead, I asked if I could pray with him. A part of me was surprised to hear him say yes!

Most people are not very accepting of strangers asking to pray over them. I am most definitely not the kind of person who ever, ever walks up to someone and asks to do that, especially in public. My prayers are usually silent and unsuspecting. I guess I'll categorize that as a 'ninja prayer.'

He was wearing a brand new bandage with gauze and tape giving him a rounded arm much like a Popeye the Sailor arm, sans anchor tattoos. He also had on a hospital bracelet. And he wreaked of alcohol. He bent over, trying not to fall, with his head almost resting in my lap...I held one of his hands and put my other hand on his head and started to pray over him. As people walked by, I felt nervous, knowing that they were thinking, What in the mad world? But I kept on.

My deepest prayer for this man is that the chains of alcoholism will be broken. That the evils he has faced in his lifetime will be distant memories, not terrors nor constant reminders of his failures. That
God will use someone with more resources to help him find respite, clean clothes, and more assistance. I didn't have any resources to give to him.

But I think I gave him the one thing that he needed most: love. No, not romantic love--agape love. Agape love is the kind of love that people share for others. I love you, my dear readers, because of agape love. I love you because you are someone. I love you because you are a life--a very special life, no matter who you are and where you are. I love you because you are unique. Because you and I share the same humanity. I love you because you need love as I need love.

It's so amazing to me that God used me to minister to Michael (that is his name). It was purposed for me to be there at that precise moment. And the truth is, I hope that Michael has hope like never before. I hope that his life will be forever changed, and not because of me, but because of who God is in me. Because God lives in me, it is a light that casts out darkness. In sharing that with Michael, it is my sincerest hope that he holds onto that light, knowing that love can change his life. All it takes is one person to make that difference between misery and hope in someone's life.

Please, if you feel compelled, keep praying for Michael with me. I so believe in the power of unified prayer. I won't give you scripture references or anything Biblical at this point, but let's just say that it is a spiritual law that we are more powerful in unified prayer.

And because I am Christian, I asked that Michael be lifted up and all of us who are in agreement will
pray this in Jesus' name and say Amen! (Let Your work be done, Father God.)

In regards to the blog post title, my only request for you, lovely, dear readers, is to be the light, the love--the most beautiful thing--to all those you meet and see. Please don't ignore someone. Show kindness. That will be the most beautiful thing any one person will see in their whole day....or lifetime even. You have the power to change a life. Simply do it.

Much love to you,

Em

2012: A Year to Love

2012-12-13T01:14:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again...time for reflections and for life-style changes...right?! Well, instead of going on and on about my new goals and ambitions, (which I do have a video series on) I will simply write a list of reflections from this year for this post, and the next post will have the 2013 hopes and dreams (that way this post isn't too incredibly long)

Warning: this will be very random and scatter-brained...so here we go:

2012

Lost and maintained a 30-pound weight loss
President's List/Dean's List at school (3.5 GPA or higher)
Got my first brand new smartphone
Read Anna Karenina and added it to my favorites list
Went to see a movie by myself for the first time--I went and saw Prometheus
Had my first accidental 'viral' YouTube video
My first completely editorial photo shoot working as a visual consultant AND makeup artist
Became YouTube partner
Defied my fear of rejection and took a huge personal risk with someone
Planned, purchased, and executed my second annual Christmas Beauty Giveaway--this year, prizes totaled over $500
Received my first sponsorship/free makeup for review offer from a brand that I love
Re-engaged my passion for politics and feminism
Participated in my first real protest: SlutWalk, Seattle
Cried for joy that many of my friends are now able to legally marry their long-time partners when Washington State approved gay marriage
Yelled out an obscenity to a driver who splashed me with water while carelessly driving off the side of the road, talking on his cell phone
Made a new friend who inspires me to live life without vicariousness.
Met a friend who may become my new BFF.
Uprooted myself from an otherwise comfortable life to move into the "big" city of Seattle
Lived off of faith, hope, and dreams when all seemed to be collapsing around me
Started working full-time outside of SB
Visited family in Bellingham, a place I rarely visit anymore
Turned 23-years-old and had an amazing birthday celebration with my family
Realized how much I truly love cupcakes
Stopped eating beef
Realized that my soy allergy isn't as extreme as once thought
Went weeks as a vegetarian without realizing it
New favorite food: peanut butter and bananas
Favorite music: Ellie Goulding, Lana del Rey, Melody Gardot
Saw American Idiot on Broadway with one of my besties
For the first time in years, did not attempt to harm myself physically
Maintained a diary for the 8th consecutive year
Had my heart not get broken by a jerk
Had the worst date of my life with the creepy " 'your' really beautiful" guy
Went on my first and most-likely-to-be last blind date
Started jogging
Stopped renting a storage unit
Finally have a strong and exact vision for SB--business plan in the works
Earned my first college degree
Hosted a fun Thanksgiving dinner and cooked almost everything completely from scratch
Made my first raw/vegan dessert, which was met with approval from a vegan
Went to six Halloween events this year
Wrote some amazing songs
Uploaded my first singing video for the world to see
Let go of a painful memory
Had my first energy drink ever (EVER!)
Met someone who I foresee as being my next love

And that's all I can think of right now. Overall, I think this has been a fabulous year. Yes, there were a lot of uncertainties and scary moments when I didn't think that I could make it through, but my faith grew stronger with every step that God lead me through. As I always like to think, we become closer to being a pure diamond with all the extra pressure; purer gold when all the impurities are burned from us.

I hope that this is inspiring. I chose to focus on mostly the good as that's how I want to see my life--good, adventure-filled, and best-yet, not regrettable.

Stay tuned for the 2013 post!

Much love & peace to you,

Ems

Forgiveness

2012-08-13T13:31:00.001-07:00

It has been a while since I last wrote for this blog--time has rewarded me with things to preoccupy my time, and has also challenged me with new endeavors and obstacles. However, I felt the urge to write today as a spirit moved in me to do so, and hence, the words that flow freely from my heart follows.

As a Christian, I've heard innumerable times about the importance of forgiveness. We must forgive our neighbors of their offenses--the hurt and betrayals--for harboring unforgiveness in our hearts amounts to the same decree as murder. This murder is of our own spirit.

We have been forgiven of our own sins if we have accepted the cleansing blood of Jesus to wash us of the old sins that have caked inside our hearts. We become whole through the One who gives life. However, a spirit of the world that despises our new selves seeks to destroy our new foundations. It gains a small foothold to create havoc the second doubt or distrust enter our minds. The lies about our identity resolves to a battle lost as we believe them.

We aren't worthy.
We haven't been made new...we're still the same old, horrible people from before.
Nothing changes.
We are weak.

Lies. Deceitful and utterly harmful lies.

Buying into these lies is costly. It is the same as purposely ingesting poison into our systems. It's a spiritual suicide. The mistakes we made long ago resurface, brought into the present, and we encounter the same pain and shame just as if we were trapped to relive those past moments. The blessings of today are robbed from us and we begin to resent who we are--not realizing that we now have distorted visions of ourselves. Self-unforgiveness bubbles through and we have committed the sin of murder.

But we can be resurrected.
But how...?

Today, I thought about the events that lead me to feel as though the new person I am was only a distorted dream. I confess to having believed the lies, choosing not to forgive myself for the person I used to be...then I realized that the person I have to forgive doesn't exist anymore. She died to the world two years ago and now, there is a faithful spirit that resides in me. It gives me a new identity, but I had to remove the eyeglasses that the deceitful spirit placed on me, giving me an incorrect perception. I see who I am--a daughter of the King of all Kings, the Alpha and Omega, the Life, the One who gives life.

I went outside to my porch and prayed. I talked to God about the life I want. I told Him that if there was any unforgiveness in my heart, to make it known to me. I listed off the names of people who have hurt or offended me, even if I knew I forgave them years ago; I made a point to say each name out loud, declaring my forgiveness. Then came the very last person: myself. I asked God to forgive me of my pride and any other sin I was unaware of...then I realized something.

Thoughts of skepticism and irritating hurt arose immediately. I didn't speak out that I forgive myself. That hurt to think about because I didn't want to say it.

I know that in order to forgive someone and to truly do so, you must consciously prepare yourself, keeping it at the forefront of your mind daily until the pain of the memory is no longer present. Each day, if thoughts escalate into ones that are not of God, then they must be rebuked and you must outwardly admit that you forgive that person. Speak out that forgiveness. It gets easier every day... even for ourselves:

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of the world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." --Romans 12:2.

So, today, while looking into the mirror, I will tell myself that I forgive me for the mistakes I made, the person I was, and remind myself that she doesn't exist. I am a new creation:

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

--2 Corinthians 5:17

I am strong. I am loved, and best of all, I have a purpose:

"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10.

If you find yourself feeling resentful towards yourself or another person, I encourage you to pray about it. If you want to change your life and become a new creation, or if you want to make sure that you aren't seeing a distorted vision of yourself, speak this out to God. If the words do not come, then say these words:

"Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me." (Psalm 51:10) "Help me to forgive others and myself of the sins that You forgive in me. Help me to see myself with the eyes You see me with. Remove all footholds in my life that the enemy clings to so that I may have peace in You. Holy Spirit, guide me through each day and help me to renew my thoughts and renew my forgiveness for every offense. I trust that I am created new with the blood of Jesus and pray for Your Spirit to move in the lives of those who have hurt me. In Jesus' name, Amen."

I hear chains breaking with each person who is forgiven. Amazing!

Rattling in chains no more,

At a Crossroads?! Now What?!

2012-03-12T00:31:00.001-07:00

Being newly 23-years-old, two shy of 25, I feel as though some of my experiences have granted me an exceptional pathway to success, yet, on another note, I feel as though my path is so different than everyone else's...and I am very glad for that.

Perhaps this blog entry is more about personal reflection than one of my 'normal' posts, but I feel as though somehow one of you younger readers might be able to gain something out of this--or perhaps my more mature audience will relate and be inspired? Who knows?

So my 20s... All my life, I envisioned my 20s to be fierce, fabulous, ferocious, and amazing. (Sorry for the break of alliteration...ha ha!) At 16, I knew that once I reached my 20s, I would have reached the end of the turbulent years for me, and, therefore, will have begun to live in such a grand way. It hasn't quite worked out that way...actually, not at all.

At 21-years-old, by faith, I quit a job I hated and decided that it wasn't in my best interest to work for a while. I won't go into the medical reasons behind it, nor the little details of my life thereafter, but I can say that this decision changed my life more than any other direct decision ever has. I have learned things about myself that I didn't know before. I learned about what kind of strength this woman has! I tell you something, my faith is much stronger than it used to be as well! At 18-years-old, I would have laughed at a friend who said she was going to do what I did, wishing her luck, shaking my head thinking she were really stupid.

Yes...I would have been harsh on her. I can still be harsh on myself for it, hearing thoughts saying things like, "If you didn't quit that job, you wouldn't have had to go without _____" or "If you had stayed stronger, you wouldn't have struggled with ____" and so on and so forth! You know what?! Those thoughts are garbage. These types of thoughts only cause me more anxiety and irritation than they are worth, and they need to stay out in the trash bin with the rest of yesterday's old stuff.

The decisions I made in the past are ones that I feel were the right thing to do, even though it meant a lot of changes--unwanted and perhaps even unnecessary in the eyes of others. But, as a Christian, I see so much more value in the journey these last two years have brought me upon, and I am excited to see where the next two years will bring me. I am rebuilding my life as to shape it in the way that it ought to be, allowing God to have a mightier influence on it, and also to become what I so desire to become, and to obtain the success I am meant to have. Mind you, I don't measure success by quantifiable means, but by the ability to push through and conquer life's challenges without giving up.

Which brings me to my current challenge. I am at a crossroads--where I can continue the same life I've had for the past two years, or move on and do something different. I am ready to make a change in my life that will lead me to a better and different place. In the last blog, I talked about how "change" has so many negative connotations and people are often scared to make deep changes within themselves. (Click HERE to read). For the past couple weeks I have been chewing on my words, thinking about the changes I am ready to make now. Change is a great thing, but it only works if one is ready. I know I am ready for it. But it doesn't make me any less scared!

There's a big life change I am about to make, embarking on a new chapter in my life. While I am nervous and mildly anxious, I came across a scripture on the Huge Love blog by Tiffany Myers:

John 14:27: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid,"

which helped alleviate some of that deep anxiety. I know that with change, the opportunity for bigger and better things await, and that sometimes God wants us to make a change so that we can do the things He has called for us to do. Today, I also came across a photo on a friend's Facebook page:

This inspired me so much!

The truth is that if I don't make this change, despite how scared I may be, I won't get to where I need to be! I need to make a poster of this and hang it on my door along with a few of my favorite inspiring Bible scriptures or tattoo it all on my arm! (hahaha-that would be one crazy arm tattoo!)

With this in mind, I leave you all, dear readers, lovely friends, beloved family, with this thought:

What is the one thing in your life that you want to change and are you ready for it?

Deep love and peace to you,

Your Em.

The Big, Bad "C" Word

2012-02-27T14:19:00.002-08:00

What is this scary "C" word I refer to?

It isn't the word you're thinking. (Shame on you for that!...lol)

CHANGE your thoughts right now!
CHANGE is not so scary.
Cyclic is a far worse word in my book...

I have always heard the phrase, "If you don't like something, do something about it," which is such a great motivational kick in the pants, making one realize that complaining isn't the best solution to a problem, instead, doing something is. While I take complaining with a grain of salt--as in, most people need to rant in some way or another--if these complaints take habit and are habitually about the same issues, then obviously these actions are not working.

Looking into the mirror, we see the things we want to see. We have already trained ourselves to notice first our qualities--or at least, that's what your average esteemed person will do. Sometimes we have character flaws that we don't notice, or we do notice, but ignore because we don't know what to do about it.

Some character flaws, such as being emotionally insecure, can be easy to ignore in oneself with precepts and by ignoring ones own conscious behaviors, but other people may notice them or may even suffer because of the ignorance. But what kind of person would intentionally inhibit personal growth? Yes, I said it..it is intentional. A person who is not willing to look at him or herself honestly, realizing character flaws, and realizing the impact he or she has on other people, is not only hurting him or herself, but also the people around him or her. "Hurting people, hurt people," is another common phrase I hear, and often even say!

To err is human, which is an amazing thing. We are allowed to make mistakes and grow from them, but if we intentionally shut out the opportunities to grow, then we are only smothering the potential to become better people. To change.

To use myself as an example, I will admit that I am so far from perfect...it's shocking, right? (insert sarcastic humor). Not really. I used to be a person who complained and complained, never changing my circumstances. As much as I ranted and raved, I was really hurting people around me without realizing it. My unwillingness to look at the mistakes I had made, and continually to made, put other people in compromising positions as my friends and family. Someone told me once that I needed to stop what I was doing and look at my recent past. The things I had complained about were a direct result of what I was doing in the present. If I could change my present and the things I was doing now, then it would have an immediate result.

This was eye-opening for me. I decided to change my attitude, first and foremost, and then identify all the other little things I needed to mold differently. One of the things I had always wanted to change was my ability to accept criticism without feeling put-down, angry, resentful, or even humiliated, I had to look at the underlying issue. Why did I react the way I did when people around me didn't have the same reactions when they too, received criticism? It has to do with what is in our hearts.

Yes, I am back to speaking on the matters of the heart.

The heart is our mainframe component of emotions, literally speaking, of course. We feel with and react from our hearts. It's completely human. However, as we are human, we also have minds to control how we react. Logically speaking, we are able to process what is being spoken to us, and our mind reacts with our heart for emotional response, and computes it with a logical response. In other words, our mind tells our body how to interpret the data and how to physically respond. If we hear criticism, our hearts can put up a defense, put out an offense, or even turn away in resentment.

This is how we know if our hearts are healthy. While I cannot simply describe how to change the computation reaction between your heart and mind, I can say that the first place to begin in changing your heart, is to always think with your mind first. Be logical in how you hear things, realizing that if you change your thoughts, your reactions will soon follow, and therefore, you'll be more able to understand the true intentions behind someone's criticism. This is what worked well and still works for me. I now accept criticism openly, always looking to find ways to improve myself.

This can also apply to your life in various ways. If you want to change a character flaw, you need to retrain your mind to accept, first and foremost, that you have to change. Change your attitude and change your thoughts. Everything else will soon follow. You must remain diligent...if you are able to keep your mind focused on new pathways, then you'll develop the new pathways into habits for good! It takes 21 days to develop a new habit, so stick with it. If you don't know how to change your thoughts, I have another post that will help you! Read it here!

I hope this helps you get through the day and that if you have any questions, do not hesitate to comment below. I hope you all have blessed days and that where ever you are, you have a smile upon your faces. Don't fear this big, bad, "C" word any longer! Change is a good thing!

Much love and CHANGE,

Your Emmy.

Accountability for Ourselves

2012-01-19T14:36:00.000-08:00

I didn't think that I would be writing again today...but so have it, God revealed some amazing insight with me and I feel compelled to write. This is going to be a little shorter and more to the point than some of my other entries. Maybe not so sweet though...

In our life journeys, we endure trials and obstacles. I firmly believe that with each and every obstacle comes a lesson learned and a purpose. Sometimes the trials are so hard that we end up getting hurt, chastised, or even ignored. But the one thing that remains is that God is always on our side. He doesn't agree with every little thing we think or do, but when we allow Him to, we go through things that He wants us to go through so we can learn from them and shed the weight of our character He doesn't like. We have to climb mountains to exercise our faith. We climb and climb to the top, feeling weak, tired, and sore; however, when we make it through the hardest parts, the rest of the journey is so much easier. While working your way up to the top of the mountain, you may fall and hurt yourself, but you need to keep climbing. You will make it out with abrasions and other wounds, but in the end, these wounds heal and you will have gained so much.

On the other side of the mountain, we can come out with having learned humility, compassion, love, understanding, and inner strength, amongst so many other things. We can look at our healing wounds and the scars with a poor attitude, wondering why we look so worn and imperfect. However, choosing to accept these scars as battle scars helps in attitude because we won the battle. We are winning the war! According to your faith, you can define this war in any particular way you desire. The war can be raged against life itself, or maybe the enemy that we recognize as Satan, perhaps even ourselves, but one thing is certain--life is hard, sometimes it doesn't ever get easier, but the more we are adamant in pushing through, the easier it will be to come out on the other side.

So how does this relate to taking accountability for our actions and for ourselves? If we play the victim, we will always be the victim unless we decide otherwise. If we allow the negativity in our lives to upset our thinking, our actions will soon follow the same negative pattern if we aren't careful. It can hurt others around us and the worse part is that you may not even realize it. When you realize it, it becomes even harder to change and make better. I speak from the heart in this matter because I have experienced it from both sides.

I write this because I deeply care about every person who comes across this blog and seeks to find something...if you are reading this to learn about God and a growing spirituality, or here for reading about my words and my thoughts, specifically if you do not have nice thoughts about me and are trying to find evidence for reasons why, then I encourage you to think about where your thoughts are coming from.

I wrote previously, and on numerous occasions, about holding our thoughts captive. I may be the author of this entire public blog, but I am also a student in it, for when I am learning new things, I like to write about them here. My blog is not a place for judgment or condemnation, nor is it a place for others to take my words and use them against me, but more or less to talk openly about my spiritual journey and encouraging others to join me...

I hope this clears up a lot of thoughts about my purpose in writing my blog, or that maybe you can understand where my heart really is. I find that the more I try to show my heart, the more it gets beaten. This is the only place I have almost completely felt safe to reveal it in the open and when I feel my heart isn't in the right place, I don't write, knowing that my words will affect others. My mind resorts to Proverbs 4:23, which says, "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." I have learned that even in the truest of intentions, our hearts get hurt when we don't realize the course we are walking upon.

So with this in mind, I hope you all have an amazing day and that you are blessed. If I could give you all a hug, I would...and that is truth right there.

Emmy

Upwards Growth/Growing Upwards...

2012-01-18T15:15:00.000-08:00

My birthday is in a few weeks and I will be 23-years-old. It hardly seems old, but it certainly feels that way, especially since I have overcome a lot of obstacles to get where I am in the world today. I still have a lot of obstacles. I like to say that the mountain always looks bigger from the top or from the bottom--basically, in the middle (the hardest part) or from the beginning of the journey. It's all about perspective. I always like to refer to life as a series of mountains and trails because the issues we go through and endure are ascending and descending points in our journeys.

I'm not the only one to compare life to such an earthy terrain; Sheryl Crow's famous hit, "Everyday is a Winding Road" is a great example. Want a sample? Here:

So, it is January...the month of new beginnings and hopes. New Year's Resolutions are a big topic to talk about, and yet, so easily given up upon. I don't have much room to speak, especially since I only kept about half of my resolutions--even then, some of them weren't exactly how I had pictured these goals to be. However, I will rejoice in saying that in the past year, I have grown upward. I cannot say that I am completely "grown up," as I don't think that any specific person can truly say he or she has reached the culmination point of growth. As beings with minds, hearts, and spirits, in an ever-changing world, we are constantly growing in many areas. That isn't to say that we are limited by our 'selves,' but in a general sense of 'being,' we are adaptable, and therefore, always capable of getting better at being some form of ourselves in an improved way--completely biased on perspective, of course.

Okay, so this blog isn't completely like my other ones--where I discuss Biblical principles or inspiration. Today, I wanted only to talk about growing upwards. Let's use that term from now on--upwards. I think it sounds more true to the meaning--or at least the meaning of it that I am trying to convey here in these simple words. Words are just words, after all, but I do find that they float around in my mind, in no particular order, until they are overflowing. Whence overflowing, each word sputters out as if it were manufactured by a single machine. Each word is a simple piece of a larger contraption...and they slowly build up to become something better. Okay, that was randomly off-topic. To tie it in, I suppose I could comment on how I feel that my upwards growth reveals a less random spiel of thoughts...do you believe me? I wouldn't... ^.^

So, back to topic. Upwards growth. Growing upwards. My story starts out with last year--while I had a deeply philosophical principle in thinking, I was lacking on a spiritual side. I prayed, but didn't like to meditate. Sometimes I get into a deep mindset where I can be so selfish in thinking all about my life and getting what I need to survive, but am brought back to humble ground when I am forced to feel empathy or sadness for another person. I get so wrapped up in the things that don't really matter in the essence of things, so in turn, my spirituality lacks because the physical and practical things are being met in a better way. Of course, sometimes this isn't easy to control--I had a huge life change occur in 2010, and it took me several months to adjust. I am still adjusting to some of it, but I think that's where my upwards growth occurred.

So here is a little back story of my life for you to understand my thinking perhaps a smidgeon. The longest stability I have ever had in my life was living with my family for a couple years in one place, to only move again...and again...and again...and yet again. My mind was trained to continually uproot myself in friendships, family, and most social situations. I can still be quite socially awkward...which I find is easily blamed on and given credit to the 'nurture' perspective. Wouldn't that be a cop-out though?

I think back to who I was five years ago, and I realize that I was very introverted, trudging through emotional pressures by burying them. I resisted change and didn't want to let go of the pains and hurts, but at one point, I realized that holding them in my heart is just like ingesting poison, day after day. That was the big life change I endured in 2010. Done was I with the victim mentality, the pain, and the pity parties.

I believe in change...we are meant to evolve. My evolution periods are just different than everyone else. Through this change, I gained so much growth in my 'self' and in a spiritual way. What I go through is not caused by nor influenced solely by my past, but instead, by my current decisions. If I fail to complete a project today, I reap the consequences tomorrow, and I cannot blame my past for it.

So I will live in today. Today I choose to not feel guilty anymore for who I am in my journey. I am at the top of my mountain, slowly descending to calmer roads...where I can give subtle advice to those seeking it. I embrace change now. In fact, I like to know what I can become. If I don't change, then the person I want to be is a reflection of a dream land-- far away, untouchable, since my old person doesn't fit into the world of my desires. I want to me extroverted, kinder, thoughtful, loving, bubbly, passionate, uplifting, inspiring, carefree, and so many more.

Gotta keep shedding the old stuff to make room for the new! Here's to a NEW year! 2012 is going to be even better than last year, and I will love myself even more this year than I did last year.

Let your self-love pull you through your trials and embrace those strengths.

With snowy "peaks,"

Your Emmy.

(Picture was taken of the trees in the back yard)

Beautiful Life

2011-11-17T01:00:00.000-08:00

I decided I wanted to share some beauty with you--no, not cosmetics or glamour, but real beauty from the world--from amazingly artistic minds that saw beauty, captured it, and were inspired to share it with the rest of us: (No, none of the pictures are my work, but I wanted to share them with you regardless. =])

The cutest little bunch of birdies! (Photo by Stephen ...?)

Whoever thought an ant would be so pretty? (Vincentius Ferdinand)

Isn't this just gorgeous?! (Photo by Y2-hiro)

This is so cool!! (Photo by http://fromme-toyou.tumblr.com/tagged/cinemagraph)

Stunning!

Oh my goodness. I love the color! Simply incredible!

Oh look how pretty!

This reminds me of where I grew up in Montana... =)

Now this is the town I grew up in, in Montana... This is Flathead Lake. (photo not mine)

Looking south--Those are the beautiful Mission Mountains--it's how I knew I was home whenever we came back on a road trip. (photo not mine)

An aerial view of the little town I used to live in...

Used to pass this on the highway all the time--it's one of the most photographed barns in Montana...you see why? =)

I look at photos like these and remember how much beauty there is in this world...God created such wonders. It's nice to visually see His love!

Here's hoping you all feel inspired to find beauty in everything...

About to curl up and fall asleep with a cuddly, fur-baby kitty,

Your Emmy.

Early, Early, Early! Sunday Morning;

2011-10-23T06:28:00.000-07:00

Good morning, friends. It is a very early morning for me as it says 05:18 on my clock. I don't have to even be up and awake until 07:00. But here I am, fully awake, sitting on my bed with my laptop at my knees. Even the cat knows it's much too early to be awake as he yawns and stares at me with irritated eyes. Forget that, I'm sure he's thinking, as he flips and turns away from me. Maybe I have bad breath or something...

I cannot sleep. Something woke me up...and it's not often that I get woken up this early to be wide awake and ready to write or do something. (Insert yawn here). I finally fell asleep at around 02:30. I slept until 04:30. I know I will be paying for this later...oh yes. I see it now: a three hour nap midday. It already sounds lovely. I will go to church one, enjoy worship, and then hustle out the door to rush to building two with my ride to assist her with the preschool before service starts at the second campus. Too bad I am not a coffee drinker. The caffeine pot would be a'brewing right about now... =] And to me, tea is an evening treat as I drink decaf.

Okay, so obviously blabbering off about my not-so-normal morning isn't exactly why I was awakened. I woke up because it is when God wanted to use me. Throughout my two hours of sleep (listening to my mp3 player--and no, I'm not cool enough to even have an i-pod yet...just putting that out there. Haha) I had a few songs play that was partially awake to hear. I am typically the girl who likes it as dark as can be and as quiet as can be to sleep, but somehow I just wanted to listen to music this night. So, about some of these songs. I used to listen to them as a very young little girl. Late at night I would stare out my window and look at all the city lights, feeling empowered to conquer the world listening to them. Yes I, at eight-years-old felt the desire to conquer the world because it was at my fingertips. I knew that there was something greater out there for me and that even though I didn't know what it was, I eventually would. It's not even the songs that are important, but they made me reminisce and feel again those feelings.

God reminded me of those things. He reminded me of the promise He made to me those nights. I know now that the world had been offered to me and one day I would have all the tools I needed to grab it and be all that He designed me to be. Maybe that feeling returned as a reminder that I am close--or maybe I am at that point; I do not know. I do know, however, that every place I have been since last summer has been under the direction of God only, and I, nor anybody else, has had an influence without Him opening the way. I fully immersed myself into the Living Waters and gave Him the chance to take control of my life, and to this day, He still has control. I never worry about the future anymore because the future He has promised me is still waiting for the exact combination and trajectory to align properly and unlock it.

My concept and the world's concept of time changed last summer when I focused on the spiritual path laid out in front of me. As I stated, I stopped worrying about my future. I stopped worrying about tomorrow; I stopped worrying about the rest of the day, for the most part. I knew that all my needs would be provided for, and, best of all, that if I walked out my hardships in faith, I would be rewarded.

Yesterday I had a spare moment in which a thought struck me that I have everything I could possibly and truly need. The basic needs are met. Yes, I still struggle with some things, but I make do because He makes the way. I am starting to see so many of the rewards coming in, things I never thought I'd see be restored to me...

If you have watched any of my videos for the Dreams series I started on YouTube, you'd know that I started out the year 2011 with many goals and dreams. One of the big ones was to be able to return to school, having my financial aid reinstated (it was canceled in 2007 when I moved back home with my mom when she first got really sick, and I had been overwhelmed at school dealing with severe anxiety). For the past few years, any of the courses I took were paid for out of my own earnings, which was a financial burden until tax time. I probably was one of the only people who looked forward to doing her taxes--it meant that I could claim the 'Making Your Tax Dollars Work For You' tax credit, and $1,500 of my hard-earned money was credited back. I had to itemize my deductions to get much of anything back, so this credit greatly helped. The other day, I got a letter from the financial aid office at my school and my petition to have it reinstated has been approved and I return to school in January! PRAISE GOD! It goes to show that prayer makes miracles happen. That was a prayer and strong desire. My education is the key to unlocking so many doors...including growing my own business.

When I decided to go forth and establish myself in the YouTube world and move on with my own business, I knew it would be tough, but looking at it today, I am so grateful for the struggles. I appreciate and treasure these things so much more than I ever would have otherwise. And things are looking up. I have new clients and at the beginning of the year, Simply Bellezza will officially be Simply Bellezza, LLC and my new position will be CEO. Oooooh that's so exciting.

Thinking of time, the world runs on a fast-paced, never having time, short-wired clock that races against the odds. When I allowed God to direct my life, I had so many burdens lifted from my shoulders. I do believe that I would have crumbled had it not been for the events that happened. I carried more than just the weight of the world on my shoulders; I carried my family's burdens close to my heart--their pain and suffering was mine. I always felt like I was meant to be the caretaker of my family, but God told me that I am not meant to carry such large burdens. Matthew 11:28 says, "Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest," which states just that.

We have such an amazing grace and tool--we actually get to swap loads with God. Jesus' blood washes us clean from having to hold the world anymore. The mythical ancient Greek tale of Atlas was a lie given to us by the enemy who said that we aren't worthy and that we deserve all the shackles, chains, pain, and weight. What a dirty, filthy lie it is, and I rebuke it.

Wow, my load is light. My heart isn't weighed down with guilt either. That, too, is rebuked in the name of Jesus. Isn't that awesome?!

My heart is light and happy, enlightened.

And for that, my dreams are locking into place.

So what are these dreams?

Well, ever since I could talk, I sang. Singing is the one and only thing that gives my breath a purpose. If I go one day without singing, I am deprived of my oxygen. I am malnourished. It is my soul food. God gave me the gift of voice and the "hidden" talent to do the things I can do...now if only I had the confidence to go forth...haha! With the songs playing that reminded me of my eight-year-old self, He reminded me that even then I dreamt of encapsulating people in song, in the passions of my heart.

And now, with my vision focused, my heart cleaner, and my spirit in check, I can work on glorifying Him in those dreams. Hallelujah!

So, I don't know if the purpose of me being awakened at 04:30 was for me to realize that, or if it was to just write this to encourage someone out there. Either way, I really do hope that this is encouraging and uplifts your heart. Do not ever give up on your dreams because they were gifts and seeds planted by God in the beginning. He planned you for a purpose and those dreams are map of your course, the user manual is the Bible, but those gifts are your individual instructions, given only to you! Hold on to your dreams as they were treasures. Trade your burdens for hope and you will see your dreams come so much closer.

You are in prayer and in thought, my dear readers. I pray for you all to be enlightened and your hearts to be protected from the lies of the world.

Now as it is 06:26, I am going to take advantage of the extra half hour and get ready for church! =]

Thinking of big fluffy clouds and first inversion chords in A minor,

Your Emmy.

Action! Action! Read All About It!

2011-10-18T12:59:00.000-07:00

Greetings, my favorite friends. I hope that you are all doing great! I have been doing well...busy as ever. That would explain my absence from updating this blog, of course. I have been meaning to write a mini-review on an incredibly artistic rendering of the Bible that my roommate recently purchased...Not only does it include easy-to-understand explanations/scriptures, but it also piques the interests of a younger generation that may not be as easily excited into reading the Bible.

Maybe you have seen it or heard about it? It's called The Action Bible: God's Redemptive Story.

And it's just that...a big story book made into a comic/action manga/comic book! How fascinating and innovative is that?! Here's a picture of it:

It was illustrated by Sergio Cariello, who masterfully is known for his work with DC Comics and Marvel. This monster book boasts 750 full-colored pages going through the stories and parables in the Bible. I love it! My roommate's 11-year-old daughter gravitated to it and kept thumbing through it, soaking up the amazing artistry and learning all about the Biblical principles that maybe aren't so attractive to read about for the non-reader.

I have included some pictures of random stories/pages of this incredible book for your viewing pleasure: (click on a picture to enlarge it).

As you can see, there are so many appealing things about this Bible. It is meant to be a learning tool for those who may have a harder time envisioning the Bible in a picturesque or imaginative way. I must state, though, that if you bring this Bible to church with you, you won't be able to locate scriptures as you would in a standard Bible. This particular book is categorized by stories, and each particular story is based off of the scriptural references from the standard Bible format. For example, if you were trying to locate John 3:16, you wouldn't be able to flip through pages to find the book of John. Instead, you would look through the table of contents, find the scripture reference and locate the story that derives from John. This isn't a devotions book either. It isn't a self-help, or self-guiding Bible, but merely a book that brings the stories to life in pictures and breaks them down for ease of reading.

It is great to look through when you don't fully understand something or you are especially interested in visualizing one of the Biblical principles/books you've been struggling with.

For study and for church reasons, you will still need to keep your standard Bible. But for fun and lighter reading, enjoy The Action Bible. Here's a video I found that shows how truly awesome this is for family life:

My roommate found this book at WalMart for $25. It is available online for less...check out Amazon.com, where I have seen a listing for $14.

What do you think of it?

Let me know!

With a Ka-Pow, Boom, Thwack!,

Your Emmy.

Deep Dreams Resurfacing

2011-10-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

I have found it hard to find inspiration to write lately, which is sad because I normally feel inspired from most anything--trees, dancing, singing, lime green colors...anything. So my latest writing slump has been quite hard on me, brewing in the back of my mind like old coffee, and let's just face that fact, old coffee isn't very yummy.

Today I feel inspired by dreams. If you truly know me, then you'll know how much my dreams mean to me, and that I am constantly dreaming, imagining the amazing things I want to do someday. The things I will see, taste, touch, hear... That alone is inspiring to me.

Since I was little, I have always wanted to live in New York City. It always seemed like such a magical mecca where dreams come true and inspiration is surely plentiful. I know that this dream is shared by many other young hopefuls out there. I know that now is not the time to be there, but I know if God wills it to happen, it will. I know that traveling is definitely part of my future because God placed it in my heart. I want to see His amazing world, the very thing that He treasures: all the wonderful people who exist that I could learn about. There is an innate passion in my heart to move with the wind, touching lives and spreading His love and peace. I want so dearly to go to Africa and pray with the women who are so severely abused and taught from birth that they are worthless. I want them to know that they are worthy and that they are loved. I want them to know human compassion, and the compassion of our Lord.

There is no feeling worse in this whole world than feeling unloved. I know how it feels to think that way and my heart resonates with compassion to want to change that. To rock the world. Why not? I dream big. That's the only way that I have known to dream.

In the past six or so months, I have become complacent with my life. It allows God to move greatly, yes, but I got at a standstill where all my big dreams on on the back burner and smaller ones are becoming more and more prevalent. These small, insignificant dreams are lovely, but my heart isn't in them as deeply as the larger, more elaborate dreams.

I never wanted a simple life.

Life has to be exciting and simply put, having a mediocre job, and doing the same things throughout the years would greatly bore me. I would not be fulfilled. I would be wasting the gifts that God gave me, and that would be more than just disappointing to me. It would be devastating.

Today, as I write, I am trying to convey a message to you all that no matter where you are in your life, whether or not you have accomplished all your dreams, that you CANNOT be complacent and abandon all your hopes for the future. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. They are to prosper you and not to harm you, but to bring you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11).

So if you feel hopeless, don't. We have an amazing God and He says that we can do all things through Him.

Be inspired. Find something that you find words or encouragement through. Go on a walk. Write in a journal. Paint. Watch a movie. Something to spur your creative juices!

All I did was dance like a fool...it was fun!

Doin' the moonwalk in socks,

your Emmy.

Home is Where You Plant Your Flowers--My Testimony

2011-07-31T23:07:00.000-07:00

It has been an interesting three months here at my current residence, but as of tomorrow, I will be moving on to another location. It's funny that no matter how much I pray for stability, God still says that He is bringing me to the place He needs me, but it isn't right now...even though He does say it is soon. As much as it can be tiring, I will believe in and obey His command. Sometimes we are the shepherds and at other times we are the sheep. While in some places I am definitely the sheep, needing the protection of my Savior, I am also called to be a shepherd, guiding other lost sheep to the path home.

Home.

My fifth grade teacher always used to tell me that home is where you plant your flowers.

I actually didn't remember her saying that until about five years ago--when I originally moved to the county in which I now reside. Of course, as a grieving 10-year-old little girl, I did not understand fully the power of the metaphorical phrase "planting flowers," and furthermore, at 17, I didn't fully grasp the belly of the barrel on it either. Now, at 22-years-old, I am finding peace in the meaning, a deep, profound understanding, and even hope.

Planting flowers.

In the Bible, there are countless scriptures that refer to sowing of seeds, sowing and reaping--sowing seeds as a metaphor for working hard and prospering in accordance to your works, sowing seeds of the Gospel to grow a Godly knowledge and understanding, to parables about not wasting your time while you could be productive.

Flowers grow from tiny little seeds that are planted. The type of flower depends on the type of seed, and the condition of the flower depends on the conditions in which the seed was planted.

Luke 8:15 says, "And the seeds that fell on the good soil represent honest, good-hearted people who hear God's word, cling to it, and patiently produce a huge harvest." (New Living Translation).

As I look upon my life in the last year or so, the big difference I see in comparison to my tempestuous childhood, and my life now, is God. At the age of nine, I accepted Jesus in my heart to be my Lord and Savior. At that time I did not have a much of a relationship with Him because that wasn't a possibility at the time. Due to my upbringing, church wasn't a requirement, but more of a past-time. There were many trials and heartbreaks to come a year later, and in the most desperate of times that I really did need Jesus, I didn't know to reach out to Him. But, as I grew older and heard the Word of God being spoken through others, I learned more about Him, in subtle increments, but nonetheless, I began a slow journey into the Christian walk.

Since I can remember, the most stable thing I have ever had was my family...mainly my mom and sister. I don't have a lot of memories of my dad when I was little as he worked a lot...and at other times, we had run away and hid from him that it made seeing his face either a scary moment or a joyous one. It was constantly an emotional roller coaster--he was an alcoholic and used to be very mean sometimes. We fled when his violent temper grew into rage...but when he began to recover, and I started to get to know him aside from the alcohol, he died.

My brothers are much older than my sister and I, and had both moved out by the time I was seven or so. One wasn't a big part of my life and still isn't to this day as he is 18 years older than I, and the other brother has had a larger role, but was in my life as a constant only momentously. He is 10 years older. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins--these people have fluttered in and out of my life. The only two people that I had close to me my entire life, since the beginning of fear and emotion, were my mom and sister. After my dad's death, Mom, Steph, and I were bonded as "the three."

The three of us had each other to be angry with, to be sad with, happy with, and to be stable with. To me, this was my rock. My shelter. My refuge. Although I moved out when I was 17 to live here in this county, 130-some odd miles away from them, my heart was still forged into the trio of the strongest relationship I have ever known.

Grievances aside, and pain, anger, and irritability forgotten between us three for a moment, in all things considered, I had the bonds that most other families do not have...until last year.

If you have seen my latest Praise video on YouTube, then you'll know what an awesome miracle that has taken place in the past couple months. (The video is linked at the bottom of this post as well). I also stated that the enemy had stolen that single precious thing from me, but God chose to restore it only when I had learned of His will.

Revelation 21:1-5: "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Aren't they adorable?!

These scriptures bring solidarity to people in mind when realizing that Jesus has come to make us new. He is the risen king. His example lives on in us to replicate every day. We are born to be reborn. We are born to be renewed. We are His. The sheep of His pasture (Psalm 100). For if we are new creations in Him, we must abide in and within Him, and He in and within us. We need to live in accordance to His ways in order to receive the glories and splendors thereof.

Acts 3:19-21: "Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus, whom heaven must receive until the time for restoring all the things about which God spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets long ago."

When we turn away from sin and align our ways with God's will, He begins to work out the miracles in our lives.

I didn't realize what sin I had committed. And until that knowledge could be brought forth, my heart grieved for my losses. All things felt dead to me...I was shaken and torn, hurting poetically because the very thing I had found stability in all those years was no longer there! It crumbled into dust, dissipating into the air.

Because my life form had taken a blow, all things I once had a slight grasp onto were much too hard to grip now. I finally let go because my heart couldn't hold on anymore. In the barren land I found myself in, I had no real hope until a voice called to me and told me to stop trying to carry that which isn't meant to be my burden...

I grew up understanding all things that happened in my life were part of a karma circle and that I had no choice but to try and change what I didn't like, and to endure what I couldn't. It meant that I needed to show the world that whatever was flung at me was bearable, and I could keep going. But my strength was waning with the burdens packing on so much weight. I felt like Atlas, bearing the world on my shoulders...cursed for eternity.

God had other thoughts, however. He says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..."(Hebrews 12:1).

We are still meant to run the race, but we cannot possibly do it while carrying the burdens of this world. Those burdens are much too heavy. So instead, we must: "Come to [Him], all who labor and are heavy laden, and [He] will give [us] rest. Take [His] yoke upon you, and learn from [Him], for [He is] gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For [His] yoke is easy, and [His] burden is light.”(Matthew 11:28-30).

The sins can be laid aside as they have no place in our lives. The sins that were washed away in 2006 (when I was baptized) were gone, but the enemy still likes to tangle me up in new sins to keep me bound.

When I had given my life to Jesus fully at 18-years-old, I, myself, was a new seedling. The old wilted leaves and pieces had been stripped away, and I had to be planted in Godly conditions to grow into what He designed for me. The soil had to be nourishing and I had to be fed with His gospel. When I left the first church I had been planted in, I left desperate for air. I had been too tightly compacted in soil that didn't have enough oxygen. Scared it would happen again, I took my time, waiting for God to show me where He wanted me. A year and a half later, after a poisonous greenhouse, the leaves that were grown after my baptism were wilted and sought after the living water again. I found myself at a new church...seeking God and hardly expecting to be rooted...Once I was rooted, my wilted leaves were stripped again and I had grown new leaves because I had the proper environment for growth. However, there were wicked weeds in my heart that did not belong, which starved the little seedlings in me that God had planted. He had purposed for me to grow fruits, but the enemy's seeds still remained and were poisoning God's garden.

When I lost my stability in "the three," I finally understood that all things in this world are easily manipulated as long as the enemy has control of that which is in this world. God expressed that He had plans for me, but until I started to allow Him to move in my life, weeding out my garden, those blessings would not harvest. And, furthermore, my flowers would not grow into fruits.

At that point, I was blindly lead off course. I fell away spiritually but knew something had to change. I was determined to allow God to pull me back because the Hell I saw awakened me to the light I had missed and had not been regularly receiving in my heart. In order for plants to grow healthily, you need sunshine. In other words, joy. True joy can only be found in one place, as sunshine only comes from the sun, I needed to receive rays of Son-shine... and that I did.

I found joy, and with that, peace, tranquility, love, patience, kindness, forgiveness, gratitude...grace.

I found my true saving grace. And that is what I have held onto so strongly for the past year and the best part is that it is truly a light load. Far easier than the burden I had once carried. Now I see flowers budding, more leaves sprouting, and best yet, a reconciled relationship with my family. While I still consider us to be "the three," it is not my source of strength anymore as it should not be. I can, however, show my strength to them and hope and pray for them to find the joy and grace that I received. In this sense, I am the shepherd, still a sheep in God's pasture, but in the world's pasture, I am a herder, not a hurter.

As I move on in this journey to another residence, I am comforted with His will for me to always be stable in Him, no matter where I am. Home is with Him, the gardener. The one who plants flowers in my heart. There may still be things that I need to do before my residential stability is given, so until then, I will plant flowers for others wherever I may be, because it is God's will that we share the Good News with everyone.

Please be encouraged by my testimony to always look for the light in everything for it will strengthen and nourish your heart. Things may be stolen away, but God is waiting to restore them to you, plus extra! He pays with interest in YOU!

With many flowers budding,

Your Emmy.

My artificial flowers--packing these up was pretty sad :( (haha)

I'm Wealthy! Yes!!!! Praise God!

2011-07-22T14:15:00.000-07:00

Life gives us many gifts and very often those gifts are sporadic, quite unexpected, and more than likely to be blessings from God. Because of those blessings, I feel as though I live a wealthy life. No, I am most definitely not "rich" by worldly means...in fact, I live at an income level that shocks most people. I am always looking forward to the days when my situation is "better" by the worldly stance, but looking around at my life now, I feel that I am, again, very wealthy.

My life is far from glamorous and I wouldn't ever want a super glamorous life. It sounds like it would be extra work to keep it that way! =D And that's NOT fun! I am in my bedroom typing this from my four-year-old laptop, feeling so very blessed at the prospects God reminds me of...the gifts He has given to me and asks me to use. I think of all the material things I have and nothing compares to the riches of His kingdom! I may not have a car or a very big home; I may not even have a lot of money or even nice furniture, but I certainly do have His spirit dwelling inside me, and I wouldn't trade that for all the gold and diamonds on this planet! I know that I have more things than most other people in this world, and yet, with the materialistic society we live in, I am reminded by the world that I don't have enough--I don't offer enough--I am just not enough!

And that makes me even happier.

I thank God for the truth! The truth is that even if I were enough for the world and had all these things, I really wouldn't be living a good life anyway! My life would be wasted trying to keep ahead of my neighbors, competing for the very best of the best, never having a moment of fun. What a sad and boring life that would be!

1 Tim 6:6-8 says: "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."

What's more, is that there are things far more important to me than televisions and cars: they are the wonderful people who saturate my life with interesting days and loving moments. They are the people who make my life worth living. I say, let the televisions stay off and the ...yes, even computers ..*ahem, this is my downfall...hahah* stay hibernating, and let us enjoy one another, in real time, no pixels and signals between us.

Yes, you can definitely read my blog before turning off your computer! =D That would make my day!

I wanted to share with you a few pictures of my daily reminders to keep CONTENT in the things I am given:

Even though it's super blurry, and you probably

cannot read it, this is a collage poster I painted
a few years ago as a reminder to always be
ME!

This hangs on my wall and it says:

"With God all things are possible"

~Matthew 19:26.

A reminder to always remember that

I am very blessed!

And when they fail, I have a selfless

little poochie here named Dazie

whose cuteness always shows love!

And a picture of my little sister and I when we were ...little.

This photo is so precious to me!

So I hope you all are encouraged to find the wealth in your life, and contentment with your blessings! Don't ever let the world tell you that you don't have enough because the truth is that you actually have so much more!

Buckets of blessings,

Your Emmy.

Who's On Your Team?

2011-07-14T15:44:00.000-07:00

If you didn't know, I am very dependent on public transportation to get my booty to and from places, town to town, and have been known to travel over 120 miles via public city buses... One thing I actually do like about public transportation is not having to worry about gas, insurance, car payments...nor do I have to pay attention to the road when I'm starting to daze off into La La Land.

Another upside to public transportation is that I have come to meet a few fascinating people. There is one person that I remember the most because she has been a God-send to me, in small, yet significant ways. She is a bus driver and she has worked for my county's public transportation department for years. What resounds to me the most about her is that she isn't afraid to share her Christianity with anyone who needs inspiration or uplifting.

Today while on the bus, she was talking to another lady about how she tries to keep her spirit up and her heart on God because, even though she doesn't feel well with her kidney and liver problems, she knows that He provides comfort and peace. It touched my heart because when I see good Christians doing God's work, being selfless people who go out of their way (unpaid, might I say) to give people a ride home in the pouring rain, or give encouragement in a Godly way, it shows the love and compassion of Christ's heart, and it saddens me to see them struggling with their health and finances.

I have known this driver for a long time, although with my moving to and fro, changing hairstyles and colors, gaining and losing weight over the last four years, she doesn't remember me. I understand that as there are over 30,000 people who ride these buses every month. It would be hard to keep up! However, a few years ago, the first time I ever met her was when I was lugging two heavy suitcases and my backpack about 3/4 miles from my old house to the nearest bus stop. She was off-duty, a common citizen in her own vehicle, and stopped and asked me if I needed a ride. Not only did she give me a ride down to the bus terminal, but she had also uplifted spirit--and I had been having a rough day. I think back to that day though and remember how it turned out for the better because someone had allowed God to use them in a kind and amazing way. It really shows that we never know how God is using us to be lights in other people's lives and that we should always expect to be of His purpose (like Jeremiah 29:11 says, " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'they are to prosper you and not to harm you, but to give you hope and a future.' " No matter where we are at in our day, we should always be grateful for the little things that God provides unexpectedly, and be joyous for the fruits that other Christian soldiers bring.

After all, we are the saints in this world and are an expanded team--God's team. Team Jesus! Now that's the team I want to be on! When we see another team member struggling, we need to be prepared to help them, not stopping our walk or place in the brigade, but to uplift and bring encouragement, as well as help the other person up and shake off their pains. (Ephesians 6:18: And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. (NIV) )

That's the kind of teamwork that gets things complete--in the name of Jesus and in God's will for His people. He loves us all so much and has a purpose for each and every one of us. Let us open our hearts and ears to Him and see the miracles we can do for each other. After all, He has equipped us with His power: the blood poured upon us. The baptism of the Holy Ghost. We are ready to bust out our biggest weapon of all: prayer! So that is what my heart says to do--pray for the saint who does God's good works. =]

Hut, hut...Pray all! =D (sorry if that's kind of a lame pun...it was a pun in reference to American sport lingo. "Hut hut, play ball!" hehe)

I hope you all are having wonderfully blessed days!

With much love and my mightiest weapon,

Your Emmy.

Missing the Bus

2011-06-14T13:08:00.000-07:00

Today was a struggle. I woke up late--(alarm, although I DID set it last night didn't go off...) GRR

Then I couldn't find my cell phone...and that turned into a "tear everything apart frantically" 20-minute period.

After that mess, I realized that I only had a three-four minute period to run to the bus--still hadn't found my phone. Grabbed my shoes and did a quick search again...

Left the house and got to the crosswalk--see the bus at the light and it's too late to make it. Another major GRR....turned into panic.

Seems like I am always missing the bus!

I had an appointment at 1. It was 11:16. My appointment was in another town...and worst of all, there was no way to make it in time now.

PANIC! I missed the last appointment for the same kind of reason--unexpected things that popped up, clouding my mind so I couldn't see things clearly. Time is harder to gauge, and, therefore, even more of a precious commodity to me.

I walk home, soooo angry. I am in a tizzy because I'm mad at the bus driver for being on time. I'm mad at the cat for distracting me this morning. I'm mad at Samsung for their phone not working as an alarm to wake me up. I'm angry with everything....

I figure it's ok to be angry sometimes.

But only if you know how to use it correctly. But this was utterly ridiculous. I shouldn't be angry with anyone else. I was angry at myself, for sure, but I didn't know how to let go of that anger--I didn't want to channel it in the wrong way, but I also didn't want to hold it in...

Your heart is the emotion box of your body. You can blindly grab an emotion out of the box and suddenly you're left feeling it...it's more of a volcano that erupts, and for me, it can be like Mount Vesuvius. Okay, well maybe that analogy is very exaggerated, but the point is, I am a very emotion-driven person. I have blogged about letting your spirit be in control of your stagecoach, not your heart, as the heart is too frivolous to be a leader. The spirit is more steady and calm, not easily changing and it's more logical.

I am guilty of getting off-course and allowing my heart to have the control. It's not supposed to be that way and when I sat down by the window, crying since I knew that this wasn't God's purpose for me--to be frantic, aloof, and exhausted all the time, I knew what I needed to do.

I cried out. I told Him my problems. I asked for His guidance... He listened and moments later the answer came to me:

I gave it back to Him.

My life is chaotic because I invite it in. I don't know what I'm doing half the time because I don't write about it or think about it in a non-emotional way. When I write, I write with the spirit and heart, who at that point are calm and collected. They speak to each other and the words come easily from my heart AND my spirit. They are co-authors. But in day-to-day life, without writing these things down or in other words, inviting my spirit into the picture, the heart is more obnoxious and easier to listen to...whereas the spirit is very quiet. I think of them as babies...you want the loud, screaming one to be quiet, so you cater to that one first, even though both of them have a need.

God told me that I need to prioritize my life...to take back control. It was slowly slipping away as I got engulfed in my projects, not planning out how I should spend my time. If I am to work in my business, I need to treat myself like an employee with a set schedule, not a superwoman who works all hours of the night, etc. My business is an entity of itself...My company is me, but I am not my company.

By purely His inspiration, I have re-prioritized my life so that I have a clear and concise separation between myself and my company, as well as my other duties in life. Graciously, I accept the challenges of executing it all in my life, as well as the ability to personally grow.

So why am I blogging about this to the whole world to read? I simply want you all, especially those of you who feel stressed out and exhausted from life, barely finding moments of peace, to find a true moment of peace. I found mine today in God. In the blood of Jesus.

What about you? Where do you find your peace?

I hope that you find it by giving all that harms you back to God, filled with the Holy Spirit, and in love with the newly cleared moment. Now, DON'T INVITE CHAOS BACK!

Trying to baby my scalp from pulling my hair, (haha)

Your Emmy.

Life Since April..."Praise Report"

2011-05-26T11:55:00.000-07:00

More plans! I am creating a new blog soon...and a new YouTube channel. I've decided that since my interests are so varied and I want to create insights to everything, I really, really need to separate them. This particular blog is one that I want to use for God's glory...and not for anything else. I'm going to start posting all other postings (such as beauty and etc.) to the new blog. I haven't created the blog yet, but will be doing so in due time. As far as my YouTube channel, I am going to dedicate my current channel to vlog-type postings, and the new channel will be an "Interests" channel--dedicated to all areas of life that I am interested in, such as cooking, makeup, and the like.

At the present time, I've been taking time away from the internet to rearrange my priorities. I do not have internet at home and haven't had it in almost a year (hard to believe, right?! haha) so, this week (eventually) I will have internet services again...which I am incredibly excited for! I will be able to devote more time to my social media to keep you guys updated on my plans, etc., with more frequent postings and uploads... =D

So, my life since April has changed for the best....So here's the PRAISE REPORT:

I have moved again--permanently this time! Praise God! I have a new job and therefore, much of my attention has been averted to that. What job, you inquire? I am a live-in nanny...

No, it's not that glamorous or anything...It so happened that a friend from church needed a part-time nanny and roommate, and it fit my needs perfectly too, so we've worked it out that I have a permanent home and job and she has a nanny and roommate to help her out as well... I will soon be paid for my services starting next month, and I've been giving private computer lessons to one of my new friends...and new income opportunities are opening as I go along, which alone is amazing!

This part of the blog feels so odd to write as I never reveal much private information like this to people, but in a way, I feel I must share this with you to glorify God...I feel so great since I am slowly getting my life back on track financially. I went through all of my bills this past week and added up my total debts--and found out that I will be able to take care of $10,000 of medical bills in one big swoop since there was a huge billing error from the hospital. They never billed my insurance properly! Praise God that this will work itself out! I do not wish to share any other finances with you, but know that I have given it to God. It's amazing how things work out when you name the seeds. Endurance pays off! I am very private when it comes to my finances and income, even to family and close friends. At church, I rarely put my name on my tithe envelopes because I do not wish for others to know my financial circumstances. In prayer, I ask only for others to pray for a special circumstance or for financial restoration...nothing more. Even more recently I find the need to keep my affairs private more necessary since I have learned recently that someone has been sharing private information about me with people whom I do not know well or not at all. It was very heartbreaking and eye-opening. In my blog, I write about miracles and spiritual inspirations...but I will start calling these personal blog postings "My Praise Report" since it will make it easier for everyone to know what I'm writing about.

In other news, I will be heading out of town next month to attend my brother's wedding...which I am so incredibly excited for! I get a new sister and get to see the family that I haven't seen in almost a year or more...I have changed so much since they last saw me, so it's going to be interesting to see how they see me. In sociology, there is a term called the "looking glass self" and so, in a weird way, this will be a social psychology study...or more of a social anthropological & biological psychology study as I will be part of the "experiment" ha ha ha ha ha

Charles Horton Cooley will be so proud of me. =D

Anyway, I hope your day is as sunny and nice as mine!

Cups of Sunshine Java and encouragement,

Emmy

Severing Myself from An Evil Legacy: Forgiving Osama

2011-05-03T16:23:00.000-07:00

*I know that in writing this entry I will receive a lot of backlash in regards to my opinion. However, I must forewarn you that it was God who laid it upon my heart to write this. These words were received, welcomed, in spirit from Him, and I must say that any attacks or insults I receive will be an attack upon Him and not myself. It was He who opened my eyes and heart and made me see this truth. Please keep an open heart for I wish only for healing and peace in this world...*

In light of the world-shaking news that during a top-secret ambush in Pakistan, a man of great abhorrent behaviors has been killed... Many people dance and sing songs in celebration...others simply reflect upon the last fifteen years of his terrorizing attacks, the pain and sorrow that followed him in path of destruction. People hate him--hate him so much that they rejoice in his death holding that hatred inside their hearts. One look at his photograph and we want so badly to despise him, make him hurt as much as he has hurt us. The simple remembrance is adequate enough to feel mixed emotions of anger, hurt, sadness, hate...As I type this I am blinking back tears, tender-hearted and realizing how much pain this one man has caused in his lifetime. Even in death, his name, his legacy, the consequences of his actions live on in us...the hatred he spread still lives in us as we continue to hate him, despise him and still think of the wounds in our hearts. We hold on to him instead of letting his regime die with him.

I have a question for you...and before you answer, I want you to ask your inner spirit to lead you into full understanding, an open heart, and most of all, a sound mind. For the question I ask will center many thoughts around a controversial battleground...there will be room for evil to enter in and you must seek the real truth. Use your spirit to guide you, not your heart, for your emotions will cloud your sight. Do not ask your mind to guide you for you will be tempted to use worldly logic and reason to define the answer. If you are a Christian whose principles are based upon the spiritual connection to God, you have been given a gift of His Spirit...the most beautiful and pure way to decipher truth...Use Him to guide you. John 16:13 says, "When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future." The truth has come from God, the all-knowing deity. If you are not a believer or do not have that relationship, then I ask you to look deep within your humanity and find truth in an outside area of your mind for that is the one thing all humans have in common--the deep connection in human compassion.

Is there such a thing as unforgivable?

Let's define that. "not excusable"
Not worthy to receive pardon for or remission of an offense, debt, etc.; someone whose actions cannot be absolved, forgotten, dissolved.

In the world there are varying degrees of "forgivable"...We can forgive each other for small offenses, for anything that hurts our feelings, to a crime that involves true intention of harm. But why? Why does anyone forgive another?
1. The effects of offender's actions did not cause harm;
2. obligation;
3. True human compassion, love, and empathy.

What can you forgive? What do you refuse to forgive?

Another deep question: Do you think you could ever forgive Osama bin Laden for his actions here on earth?

I forgive him. I forgive him of his offenses. I forgive him for the blood spilled...his fiery terror. I forgive him...

Because I must.

As much as I want to say that he doesn't deserve forgiveness, I am convicted. I am wrong. God says to forgive others as we want to be forgiven. (Colossions 3:13)

Be quiet.
I know you're arguing in your mind. Your heart is angered. You don't want to forgive him. He has offended the very foundation of our lives in his days as a terrorist. He has the blood of over 3,400 people on his hands. His sins outweigh the worst sins that are forgivable....
because we want to believe that...It's so much easier to be led into darkness because we cannot see where we are going. We are blinded. We cannot see the path when we are surrounded by darkness.

Look to the light. In the light, all darkness is exposed. We are all born into sin...into darkness. The world we live in isn't clean; it isn't light. (Ephesians 6:12). We all fall far from perfection, but yet we can move into the light and not perish, for the resurrected son of God was the perfect sacrifice who atoned for the sins we commit. (John 3:16). When we accept the Spirit of God in us and realize who Jesus is, we can be free of damnation...we are forgiven...if and when we ask for it. We can lift the darkness away. "Truly I say to you, all sins shall be forgiven the sons of men, and whatever blasphemies they utter;" Mark 3:28.

This scripture goes on to say, "...but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin because they were saying, 'He has an unclean spirit.' " (3:29-30)

So wait a minute--there is something we aren't forgiven of?

Yes, and that is denying the Spirit.

We can deny the Son...we can deny God, but we cannot be forgiven for denying the Spirit.

Something that I find comforting though, is that many people deny God, His Son, and His Spirit before salvation...and that is because they are in the darkness and haven't seen the light...yet. They don't recognize the existence of the Godhead and His Treasures at first. Once they have come to experience light and have darkness lifted, they can be saved through the graces of God since they are now baptized with the Spirit--the very one they never experienced--they are baptized by the blood that washes us all clean. Those, however, that live in the light and deny the spirit are guilty of the unforgivable sin.

However, if they had been truly living in the light--fully converted, they would have cherished the Spirit, living in light and seeing dark places in the heart. There would be no reason to deny the Spirit--as these people would have witnessed and have known the Spirit... So those who deny the Spirit aren't saved to begin with. They are convinced to be living in light when darkness is evidently guiding them. And until they recognize that sin, they die with it and it is unforgivable.

What the Spirit is meant for is more than just a friendly spirit that nags us--He is to be like a best friend--a father, a mother--a comforter, a teacher, a counselor...He's the way we communicate with God. The Spirit speaks on our behalf to Jesus, who is our advocate to God. Jesus then tells God that since He died on the cross for us and received atonement for our sins, we are forgiven of sin when we ask for it, and when we truly repent of our actions.

How do we repent?
Repenting is a process, not a single step. It involves first of all, acknowledging the wrong we commit. Secondly, we confess it. We tell God we have committed this particular offense. We next ask God for forgiveness of this sin--and need to ask for deliverance of this offense so we cannot commit it again. Finally, we must take precautions against committing the offense again, defending our decision to not sin anymore. If we fall, we are to repent again...and again...and again. That isn't to say we should purposely disobey God either...but we need to make a concerted effort to live in His light and truth. Nothing is too powerful nor tempting to overcome your convictions. All things are possible with God. (Matthew 19:26) However, since you are in possession of said power, you could easily hand the reigns to the enemy and let him steer you off-course. But God always awaits your return to Him.

But I tell you, God knows us. He knows the sins we have committed, and furthermore, He knows the sins we will commit. Want proof? Look at Judas. Jesus, by the Spirit of God, had been told that Judas would betray him...a great sin in denying him and the Spirit, yet He still allowed Judas to participate in the miracles. God can still uses us, despite our wrong doings--to His glory. Judas wasn't forgiven since he was never truly saved to begin with...how could he have been if He denied God and didn't repent? He died with that sin on his heart.

It is only because it is written from the Spirit that we know this. If it weren't written, we still wouldn't have the authority or equality of God to know the heart of this man. We would only know him through his actions...and if that were enough to judge a person, then we would all be equal to God. Being said from a human stance, we cannot judge. We are imperfect and have darkness in us. Unless we are pure, with no darkness in our hearts, we are not equal to God to judge.

And since I've explained the principles of Christianity that I cling to and live by, I hope it is clear the reason I am able to forgive Osama bin Laden, the man. We are all born to be God's kids, and we are to love Him first, and one another, secondly, despite all offenses. (Matthew 22:38-39).

My human compassion seeks to find the human behind that monster mask. I stand behind my conviction and revelation that no person can be the face of evil...no, that belongs to the ruler of darkness: Satan. Even his angels are not the faces of evil, but merely limbs of the embodiment of evil. This person...Osama bin Laden...this man that we know to be a monster, a demon...evil...was once a child, and even had a heart and spirit. He was a man...a man of flesh, bones, and DNA--the very same DNA we are made of...yet, he was one human that did many, many horrendous things.

At this time, I confess to you that I am seeing things through God's eyes....I don't see just the evil. When I look at his photograph or see a video clip of him, the human part of me despises his face and wants to spit at him; my spirit recognizes evil oozing in heaps of gaseous fumes around his ears and hands--a demon sitting on his shoulder, whispering and laughing, fumes of hate protruding in his breath; but my heart is saddened. In the most honest sense, I cry for that man. I see a lost man. A very misguided, lost man whose life mission was to destroy the foundations that we, as Americans, live by. In his own spiritual and religious beliefs, he stated that he was defending his beliefs and acting upon the orders of his god. His "god". Not my god. His "god" (not a grand deity, but rather a metaphorical god, to whom he had devoted his services) disguised himself as a light...led him down a path of evil. Evil can disguise itself and wrap itself around a person like a shawl. It seems friendly...like the serpent in Genesis, but it has contemptuous intentions. "He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him; he cannot save himself, or say, 'Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?' " (2 Timothy 3:13). A person cannot recognize his own evil without having seen the light to compare it.

As Jesus wept in grief for the death of Lazarus (John 11:35) I feel saddened for the man who is eternally lost. He died with the blood of 3,500+ people on his hands...but this is his own fault. Even though I know he made his own choices, my heart questions if he really knew better. If a child is lead astray and stays astray from his real family, he or she doesn't ever know them until the truth is revealed...if it is revealed and received.

As hard as it is for us, especially for all the families and people he had directly effected, we must forgive him--not for him and not for God, but for ourselves.

What a bitter, bitter root unforgiveness is. That awful enemy used that man's life and his death to instill seeds of hatred and unforgiveness. Osama bin Laden was nothing more than an instrument used for evil. I feel sad for that man because he probably wasn't ever loved by any human being on this earth, except by Jesus, for Jesus loved all of us so much that he died for us...all of us, over 2,000 years ago. (John 3:16). My heart wants to cry tears of rue that bin Laden never had the kind of love in his life that saved my life...In prayer, I hope that the evil will flee in the presence of all people, that those of us who are armored with God's breastplate, using His love as our only weapon, can penetrate the roots of evil and sever it from this world...I know that it will happen. Revelations reveals the end of evil, but we cannot predict that time.

Please take these words and meditate on them. It was laid upon my heart yesterday to write on offenses and whether or not to forgive of them. I am freed from the evils that envelop bin Laden's legacy, the one that will live on as long as people harbor hatred and unforgiveness for him...simply because I choose to forgive him. At this time, I must state that while I forgive the man that Osama bin Laden was, I cannot forgive the evil he did.

I leave you with Psalm 97:10-12:

"Let those who love the Lord hate evil, for he guards the lives of his faithful ones and delivers them from the hand of the wicked. Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart. Rejoice in the Lord, you who are righteous, and praise his holy name."

Be blessed!

With buckets of forgiveness, love, and respect,

Your Emmy.

Bionic Makeup

2011-04-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

Just as a quick post, I wanted to show you all an interesting makeup concept I came up with:

B*I*O*N*I*C

A new mini-series I am working on for high fashion and editorial makeup. This is a little new to me as I am not super experienced with it, but I thought I would have fun with it nonetheless.

Don't mind the watermarks; it's
so no one can steal my hard work!^.^

I aspire to have more models other than myself, and in so doing, create a photographic portfolio for both editorial photography, as well as makeup. To some of you dedicated followers, you may or may not like some of the styles I come up with, but regardless, I am only experimenting, after all, isn't that what art is? Taking reality and making it your own imaginative version? Before you get your panties in a twist worrying about my original content, you have no need to fret. You will still be able to find me doing tutorial videos for the makeup looks I've dedicated my channel into creating...just the same, so no worries! =D I'm just broadening my horizons here. =D

So this is the latest creation. I'm not sure if I like it...and I have not at all edited the photo, so bear that in mind.

Here is the type of quality I aspire to create some day: (no none of the following is my work, sadly to say:)

So now I leave you all...Bionic makeup in mind, let me know what you think!

Pink, green, and yellow eyeshadows,

Your Emmy

Spring Cleaning: Your Cluttered Closets

2011-04-12T11:05:00.000-07:00

It's April. It's spring.

It's the perfect time

for spring cleaning!

Over this past weekend, I found it quite enjoyable to serve at my church in cleaning it. No, I'm not what you would call a janitor or a maid, but rather a person who likes serve, to complete projects, and who doesn't like helping to make things bright, cheery, and ...organized? The third floor of our church houses several rooms for many different purposes. One room in particular has been used to store holiday decor and etc. items for our event center and other fellowship events. However, this room, with a separate closet has lived in clutter for some time. A friend and I had volunteered to sort through the closet and find homes for all the Christmas decor that managed to not find a home, but instead, was camping under the sleeping bags and under chairs and tables. Add all of that in with some random junk, and you've got a lot of issues.

Well, the same goes for our mind. We accumulate so much junk in our minds that it's hard to unwind, to breathe, to let go of anxiety. I am the guiltiest party in this scenario, so I know that I'm pretty much writing this blog entry for myself. However, I know somewhere out there, someone may need these words too. =)

The thoughts that like to enter in and clutter my path to clear, concise thinking are ones that tend to worry me at the wrong times, things that the enemy whispers in, knowing that I will trip over the miscategorized boxes of nonsensical and unjustifiable thoughts. He loves to laugh at me--he thinks it's hilarious when I walk past a beloved friend at random and don't even see him or her because my thoughts are so deep and disorganized. He especially loves it when I become overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings that I don't even know where to sort them out.

But the joke's on him.

I have the tools to get through the froufrou, the will to let go of unwanted items, and the determination to make it through.

When I feel perplexed, I start thinking about what God wants for me. I KNOW what the Word says about what God wants for my life. He wants me to be joyful, to fulfill a purpose, to feel loved and cherished, to be useful, and best of all, to be free.

Simple enough. So if you are struggling with a cluttered mind, disorganized thoughts that don't belong, just release it. Walk away from the untidy spare bedroom. Count to 10 and breathe. Tell God what you are feeling and ask Him to help you overcome. This is the best way to overcome being overwhelmed. I always have to remove myself from any situation, walk away, and breathe. I gain new perspective elsewhere and I stop thinking. I write in my journal to take inventory of my thoughts, that way, I cannot be caught up in the surprise web of those boxes and boxes of thoughts that simply do not belong.

Matthew 19:26 says, But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Believe and have faith that you are well, mindfully set, and overall, a-okay. The enemy wants to make you feel like you are worthless and cannot rise above the worst of your anxieties. He wants you disabled and when you release all this to your Daddy, He says it's nothing at all and tosses it away, if you let Him. John 16:13 says, "When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come."

And, if all else fails, Matthew 11:28-30 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

So with that, I leave you my friends and wish you a happy, clutter-free day!

Emmy

Amazing News!

2011-04-11T12:34:00.000-07:00

I am so very excited, my dear blogger friends! I thought I would look through my page stats and see who's viewing my blog and I almost peed my pants! Seriously! I was so ecstatic! hehe

First of all, I wanted to give a huge THANK YOU to all of you who read my blog. Even if you don't "FOLLOW" me (ahem, I totally would appreciate it though... ;-P) I find it so amazing that words that come straight from my heart and spirit are reaching people in places like Slovenia, Russia, Luxembourg, Sri Lanka, Germany, Iran, UAE...etc. etc. I am just so amazed at how these words, once posted, live in cyber space and somehow people around this whole world stumble upon them.

It is with the purest of all intentions that my words can touch your hearts and bring you encouragement. I try to write whenever I can, but sometimes my day-to-day life gets a little hectic and it is hard to do so, but regardless, if you find a nugget of truth, encouragement, a little joy...from my words (really from my heart) then I know that the overall purpose of this blog is being fulfilled. I am so overjoyed with that news!

In the upcoming few months, I am going to be making some changes to this blog to make it a little easier to navigate. I hope to organize my blog feeds into categories so that they are more easily accessible, especially for those of you who have been directed here from my YouTube, looking for product information, etc. So stay tuned for that! Eventually I will also have a single url of www.emalyce.com (This link is NOT valid yet) to make it simple without all the Blogspot stuff being in the way. So yay for new changes and new goals!

Again, thank you so much for reading! Just knowing that somewhere out there a seed of encouragement, if nothing else, has been planted in someone's heart, is enough to keep me encouraged to write as much as I can.

I love you guys and hope that where ever you are in your day that you are joyful and feeling loved!

Your Emmy.

The Sister Seeds

2011-04-05T13:19:00.000-07:00

On this amazing day, I want to talk to you about my little friend. It may be an introduction and first time meeting for some of you, but for many of you others, you'll recognize her. She is beautiful, sweet, graceful, and best yet, a gift from God to the world.

She started out very little, as she was borne of a seed, planted by God. Because He is the most amazing gardener I know, and has the wisest advice, it is such an amazing and grand honor take counsel with Him. As THE Gardener of our lives--our hearts, He can sow seeds that grow stupendously if we allow them. As I spoke passionately about in the last entry to the Living, Laughing Loving series (link to the outline), the Holy Spirit spoke to my spirit in regards to God being our gardener. If you click this link, you'll learn more about the Amazing Gardener He is...You see, He forsaw what Faith's purpose in this life would be and, therefore, was able to plant little seeds in everyone's hearts, bringing her into this world as a wonderful gift.

So...who is this Faith and where is she?

Well...she lives in your heart, in your spirit. She is all that you know, yet do not see...

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen"(Heb.11:1).

Faith is something that gets you through the tough times. She caresses your spirit with trust and gentleness that rejuvenates your spirit. She is a nurse. God may be the doctor, but he sent Faith to be YOUR nurse to nurture you and grow you in Him. She is there with you during the worst of times (when you allow) and she's there during the best of times. How kind is that?!

Well, she also has a sister whose name is Fear. Fear doesn't have the same father, but yet, she starts out so very small--a seed, planted into our hearts. Over time she, too, can flourish and become a thriving plant--but at a cost. Her creator is the enemy...the devil, Satan--the world (which is ruled by the enemy) or any other characterized name you would like to give his evil. He attempts to plant Fear into our hearts knowing that the sibling rivalry between Faith and Fear is overwhelming for us. And, because the heart is a deceiver through emotion (Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?") (read my entry HERE to understand why the heart deceives), it will tend to react upon those emotions--Fear--and you can feel anxious and fearful.

Instead of a gentle nurse, you receive a constant nagging shadow that follows you everywhere, trying to bring harm to you, deceiving you and bringing the words to you that will want you to back down and step back from receiving your miracles.

So. Ask God for Faith and to rid your heart of Fear. If you did read my last entry to this series, you'll have equipped yourself with the know-how to rid your entire LIFE of anxiety and Fear. So, what are you waiting for?

We all need a little Faith. Let's go plant some seeds...let us rejoice in the spring as we know we will reap a harvest of fruitful and bountiful plants at a later time. As you see those seeds transform in God's majestic way into beautiful flowers and fruits, you cannot help but realize that the seeds get bigger and bigger over time, and your heart becomes accustomed to Faith, hardly recognizing Fear anymore as a frequent visitor. She'll come knocking, but you won't hear it.

I hope this has brought a little cheer to your day and that you are receiving seeds of joy, Faith, and love.

May you all have a beautifully bright day, filled with hypo-allergenic flowers (if you are a hay fever sufferer)... ;-)

Spring flowers and sunny skies,

Emmy

Simply Bellezza is Simply for You!

2011-03-22T15:28:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to make a little bloggy about some of the things that I found fun in Seattle the other day...even though I only live about 15 miles away, it takes an hour to get there by ferry...not to mention the cost of travel and such, so when I go, I find it to be such a fun adventure. I dream of the days that I can finally live in my own beautiful apartment in downtown ...in a big city...like Seattle or NYC...maybe even exotic place in Europe...who knows? I will leave it up to the Lord to determine where I am to go.... =D

So being in a city where there are so many different kinds of people everywhere, sometimes you encounter fun styles that you would probably never dare to wear...I wanted to show you all a fun outfit sported by this stylish fashionista...Isn't she cute? The bold and bright colors mixed with the funky pink cheetah print leggings? So much fun! I wish my wardrobe could be this fun!

I get complimented a lot by friends and family about how I dress...I tend to dress more of a city chic style--but I don't wear a lot of colors anymore! I feel so drab =( I cannot wait until I can get the rest of my clothing out of storage (yes, most of my clothes are there because I don't have room for them where I am currently staying...)

Sooooo when this year started, I wanted to take a chance and try some fun, funky, fresh changes--and I think clothing is a great way to begin to feel refreshed! Right now, although I cannot afford to shop for the clothes I would love to get, I can still do my mental shopping and piece some things together.

At 10-years-old, I had started to look at celebrities and their ever-changing clothing styles and think to myself, "Wouldn't it be so much fun to be able to design some of their clothing?" So I made little pictures and cut out photos from magazines of styles and fun outfits that expressed my particular taste and style. Of course looking back at my 10-year old vision, I am thankful that some of those ideas never became reality--in fact, being influenced by a 17-year-old Britney Spears in her tube tops and faux-leather pants hardly calls for a reason to rush to the sewing machine to piece together these "threads"... But, looking at some of the newer designs I've created or envisioned, I think that I could potentially make some of these 'visionary threads' a reality... I filmed a video almost (!?!) a year ago (whoooa...I've been an active YouTuber for nine months already? What a gestation of creativity! ha ha ha) which involved me showing you viewers an old 80's style dress, and what I had in mind to completely revamp it...so did I do it yet? No...but I still have the dress and I still plan to do it. Here's the video for your viewing pleasure:

So, eventually with Simply Bellezza, I want to incorporate my own fashion line where I use a "Green" idea of restyling clothing to be more modern and fresh...as well as providing makeup services for any occasion and event, and fashion photography. I am also an entrepreneur and creator of fashion accessories and jewelry--but I haven't begun to make them yet this year. I am severely behind on creating the hair clips and other spring and summer accessories that I may not even begin to produce them until the fall. (What I find most helpful is to create the items in the off-season and accumulate them for when it is season to sell them...)

I want to be my own boss, set my own schedules, and be the best I can be at everything I do...Simply Bellezza is my dream to accomplish and I will achieve this...in God's time. =)

So for now, my chickadees, I am going to leave you with some inspired style from other amazing designers...

I could post thousands of pictures to this blog, but you can see the styles--the edgy, glamorous, classy, whimsical, and daring fashion "threads" I've grown to love. Perhaps someday I will get to design my own styles, but for now, I will continue drawing and growing Simply Bellezza... Speaking of Simply Bellezza, have you checked out my new website? If you haven't, go take my weekly poll! www.simplybellezza.com

So now I leave you, my dear blog fashionistas, with dreams and fun twinkles to your day,

Twinkling, whimsical dresses and shoes,

Emmy

Happy Moments = Moments of Joy

2011-03-15T16:42:00.000-07:00

Today, as I sit in my favorite cafe' (that's Fraiche Cup in downtown Bremerton, if you didn't know) I am thinking about the things in life that make me happy, and all that I have to be grateful for... Amidst all the tragedies that are occurring in the world, such as the traumatic and heartbreaking despair in Japan, to the civil war in Libya...massacres, etc., I choose to praise the Lord in it all, knowing that somehow in my life, I will fulfill a purpose--the dreams He has placed in my heart.

My heart breaks with such pain for the despair in the world. I want so dearly to help these people, to hug them and to give them hope and to encourage them. My purpose in this world is to help people and to intercede, build up, and encourage. I am meant to be a leader, an inspiration, and an instigator. This is the most important thing I've learned about myself in 2010...and what I aspire to do with my life. I can only use the circumstances in my life to continue to push through for my dreams...

I wanted to share with you the things in my life that bring me happiness, building up to create joy in my heart--that help me overcome some of the darkest and most depressing days. Perhaps this will encourage you to feel differently about the gloomy things that are happening in your lives too.

I wrote about this before, but I really love painting my nails. Please don't think of this as being superficial, because the principle of it is to cater to myself--even though I am a makeup artist, and the perception is that with all the makeup and such, I would cater to myself a lot, the truth is that I really don't wear that much makeup. My skin doesn't always agree with it, and it's not always practical for me to spend 45 minutes applying makeup for it to be washed off in the Washington rain when I'm outside a good chunk of my day. For me to paint my nails, I can be very creative and artistic. I can change them whenever I want to and they add a little sparkle to my day!


Last week! Fresh &spring-like!


This week! Funky and sparkly...how I feel!

Here are some of the designs that I've done that I felt especially proud of:

Very fun!

And these ones:

Flowers--all free-hand. It took me nearly 3 hours!

Again, I love sparkles! Long time ago...

Spending time doing my nails--such a fun time to myself, simple, yet a simple moment that creates happiness, which leads to joy in my life!

Another thing that brings happiness to my day is reading and discussing literature. I do have a particular genre I gravitate towards, which is 18-20th century American and British literature. I find the many different authors and amazing poets, teachers, and orators to be refreshing and incredibly inspiring against the other types and period genres. I took an American Literature course a few years ago, which focused mainly on post-Civil War American literature. In this course, I discovered Mark Twain and Kate Chopin, two amazing writers whose works I've enjoyed immensely. In other English courses, I've discovered Franz Kafka, Ayn Rand, Ernest Hemingway, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Jonathan Swift, Emily and Charlotte Bronte, and Jane Austen. All of these amazing writers have inspired a world of creative writing, documenting history and social movements...I also find myself craving a pursuit of studies particularly in English and literature to perhaps someday teach it at a university level too. Who knows? The possibilities are endless with these vivid dreams.

For this entry, I've documented two things that bring happy moments to my day--they bring joy overall, and make me push forward to not feel so depressed about circumstances. It's all about attitude anyway, right? =)

What makes you feel joy and happiness?

Psalm 100:4 says, "Enter His gates with thanksgiving, And His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name."

Give praise to Him for all the things that bring you joy and happiness. =)

With much love, encouragement, and a hot chai tea,

Emmy

Dream Warriors and Becoming A Good Gardener

2011-03-09T18:10:00.000-08:00

I want a life without fear...I would go so very far! I could do anything!

Why is it that something so small can stop us?

Fear.

Such an ugly word. It's like a little troll, sitting under the bridge terrorizing us as we pass by. It is nothing, but yet, it is something that we hand power to all the time. I do it...you do it. We all do it...

So what do I fear?

I fear change deep down, especially since my life is everchanging. But it's not the changes around me that scare me, it's the ones that change me on the interior. The ones I don't fear are the ones I've gotten used to--the tumultuous and tyrannizing ones. The shuffling. Constant change. Feels like a paradox, doesn't it? A constant change.

Why should I fear change? I suppose this is irrational. Change is good! Change is revolution!

No, instead, I fear making changes in my life to succeed because I fear falling...Falling from the top.

Truth be told, I'm holding back on myself and my true potential and what God called out, set aside, for me to do and achieve. So, I can't succeed and achieve those dreams until I kick fear's big ugly butt!

This goes for you too! You won't be able to succeed until you conquer fear!

"Don't let fear stop you from doing what you want to do! Instead, use it as fire beneath your butt to get you motivated!"~ME

So I've been asking myself a question: What do I want to be? The question warrants many, many responses, all including a list of strong adjectives to describe a personality that I want to have... (i.e.: "strong" and "leader" to name a couple).

There are only two things stopping me from achieving my goals. Fear and myself. Yep. It's not always the enemy! Naturally he doesn't want us to succeed either, but he isn't going to step in the way when he knows we are going to do a better job of stopping ourselves...why would he waste his time?

First thing I'm going to do to overcome this irrational fear is to not let it overtake me anymore. Fear and anxiety go hand in hand. Anxiety is the deep, rooted fears, while fears are supposed to be temporary. Another definition of fear that I like to use is that fear is the absence of truth. I guess this defines the best model of fear...

Fears can become rooted if we water them. For some of us we need to find the roots, dig them up, bring them to the light, exposing them, looking at their very core. Then we need to cast them out. In order to do this, we must be able to dig deeply within our hearts. Denial won't help, but instead, keep them rooted. You have to be honest with yourself. You don't have enough room for all the bad-rooted fears and the good things--the dreams God wants to plant inside you. Sometimes we have those little shrubs growing in the beginning. And they are the good dreams--but a seed of doubt enters unknowingly and it begins to sow itself, digging deeply into the roots of the dreams, severing them and stealing their nutrients. This turns a heart into a cold, hardened, calloused, dead vessel. It no longer has life!

Where does this all start? In the mind....Thoughts enter in... Ephesians 4:18 says, "Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him..." Everything starts in your mind but ends in your heart. Fears. Depression. Elation.

If you don't know what you're thinking, then you can surely find out! Just find a journal...nothing too fancy, but write down what you've been thinking and feeling. Be honest! If you need to you can burn them afterward if it makes you feel more comfortable, but I recommend keeping them for years to come so you can see where you were years down the road. I still have all my old journals and it's nice to reflect where I was mentally so I don't repeat the same thoughts and paths.

When you start releasing fears and have arable plots in your heart, God will begin to plant His life into you. "Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong." ~Ephesians 3:17.

For if our hearts are dark, it cannot nourish the tender leaves of Christ's trees. We become one with Him when we accept him in our hearts. Our roots, for our hearts are merely branches extended from each of our bodies, will be rooted in the Tree of Life--the tree God has become, and we will be nourished through Him.

If we are to be part of a tree, we should be the best kind--one that produces. A tree in production will produce fruits--and even better, will provide it for others to eat--nourishment and sustenance for other life. When we bear fruits, we are able to give and give from an overflowing tree...

STEPS TO OVERCOME FEAR

1. What do you want to plant there? Recognize who you want to be. Write down your goals and dreams--all of them, big or small. Everyone. When you hesitate or feel a little ting in your heart, you know you have a wilting branch. It's a dream that hasn't been fulfilled--it may be due to improper nutrients and poor growth; forgotten; or starved, beaten by fear. When all are written down, think about their significance in your life. Meditate on this briefly.

2. Start digging into the dirt, playing with everything. Ask yourself why. Why not? Where did you begin to stop striving for these dreams? What stopped you? Keep asking questions--why can't you still achieve them? Don't give answers just yet--just think about it. Trust me, you might find some excuses popping to mind.

3. Decide to be a gardener. Make the decision to work on overcoming your fears. Once you decide, it will become more obvious to you just how important it is to achieve your goals. Execute a battle against your fears. You can't instantly get rid of them, but you can give them to God, who knows exactly what to do with them.

4. Find your garden tool supplier. Give your fears to God. The admission--the roots...everything. He will give you the tools you need to fight the roots, to uproot them. You've got to trust Him and obey Him and He will teach you how to prevent those roots from coming in again. The reason you must give them to God is because only He knows your heart inside and out. He can see how He created you to be and furthermore can differentiate the weeds from the flowers....

Here are some scriptures I wanted to share with you:

Hebrews 13:6 "So we can say in confidence, 'The Lord is my Helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?'" He will HELP you. He is a wise gardener.

Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." Because you can't see what is in your heart, you need God to help you still. Have faith in His abilities as a gardener.

Deuteronomy 1:21 "Look! He has placed the land in front of you. Go and occupy it as the Lord, the god of your ancestors, has promised you. Don't be afraid! Don't be discouraged!" Your heart should be arable and He wants to plant beautiful things in it. He says that you can claim it for Him and that you shouldn't be afraid to go for those dreams you have!

2 Timothy 2:5 " But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. don't be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News and fully carry out the ministry God has given you." God said that He wants you to fulfill your dreams and overcome fear and a confused mind. You have the authority through Him--use it!

1 Peter 4:10 "God has given you a gift from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen."

So, basically God can and will help you remove the old and grow the new. All you have to do is ask Him. What are you waiting for?

If you need prayer, send me an email or comment. I pray that each of you who read this today have hearts open to fulfilling dreams!

A sword, a shield, and strong boots for the dream warriors,

Emmy