Confessions of a Baltimore Housewife

One Bill Less

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 14:50:00 +0000

I'm so happy to give you an update on the No Debt Challenge I set forth for my family and I. As of the end of the year, we had eliminated a credit card bill that has plagued us for years. The day I sent the final payment off, I felt a huge weight lifted.

And now we're one bill less.

This year, the goal is to pay off the car, which means we'll have no more loans but our mortgage outstanding.

And speaking of mortgage, that's one of the next beasts to tackle...but all in good time.

Once the car is paid off, the funds that were funneled into those payments be redirected into savings and other activities.

The Man and I will celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary next year, returning to the Sandals Royal Bahamian resort where we went on our honeymoon. That time feels like ages ago!

So we're starting the budget for our second honeymoon now, so we'll be able to pay cash when the trip comes.

Big plans!!

New Year's Goals

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 17:01:00 +0000

I don't make resolutions anymore...they never stick. Instead, I've started making New Year's Goals. This way I have an entire year to complete them, rather than having to change the way I operate all in one day.

So my goals for 2012 are as follows:

Eliminate the car loan
Double the amount of money in our emergency fund
Establish and max out IRAs for both my husband and myself
Take a vacation

See, no mention of exercising or not cussing...we need to be realistic here!

Happy new year!

**This just in**

The Girl has her own goals for 2012. She wants to learn how to

Knit
Tie a bow
Snap louder, and
Whistle

I think these are admirable goals for a (almost) 6-year old.

Project for Kids: Masquerade Mask

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 17:30:00 +0000

Inspired by The Big-Ass Book of Crafts 2, The Girl and I created this masquerade mask using old cardboard boxes, stick-on jewels and holiday packaging.

I didn't use a pattern, but drew the shape of the mask freehand, then used an x-acto knife to cut away the eye holes.

The box we used was already pink (thanks, Barbie!), but you could glue fancy paper or fabric to the front, draw cool designs, or even hot glue some neat beads to the front to make it extra fancy.

The Girl in her masquerade mask.

3 Steps to Clean Oven Glass

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 20:30:00 +0000

I recently did the self-clean function on my oven, but it left the glass on my oven door looking dull and still dirty. I'm sure I'm not the only person out there with a grimy oven since we're at the tail end of the holiday cooking season.

Thankfully, I found a great cleaning tip through Pinterest that uses just plain old baking soda and water to clean the oven door with no real effort.

My oven door: BEFORE. The glass seems to be perpetually dirty.

You don't need harsh chemicals, loads of money, elbow grease, or even loads of time to clean your oven.

What you'll need:
1/4 cup Baking soda
1-2 Tb water
(that's it!)

How long this will take?
About 20 minutes

I used a bbq brush to apply the paste.

Instructions

Pour the baking soda into a bowl and gradually add water until you have a loose paste.
Generously apply the baking soda paste to the oven glass and let it sit, with the oven door open, or 20 minutes.
Wet a paper towel or rag with water and wipe off the mixture.

The result

The glass in my oven (and the door) look brand new.

No more dirty ovens!

The Value of Handmade

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 18:06:00 +0000

Let's get this straight: just because something was handmade, does not make it cheap, devalued or less thoughtful.

We've become a society that doesn't appreciate hard work. We want instant gratification and for some reason, many believe that true feelings can only be expressed through Hallmark or factory-made items.

Case in point--

I was invited to participate in an ornament exchange recently. I didn't want my ornament to look like all the others (stamped with "Made in China" on the bottom), so I made a cute bird ornament out of fabric and beads.

This is the bird ornament I made for the ornament exchange, not yet complete.

Granted, I had all my components on hand, so I didn't have an outlay of cash to complete the project, but the little bird ornament took about 75 minutes to complete (finding the pattern, selecting the fabric and thread, ironing, cutting, sewing--by hand--, stuffing, and adding the bead work on the hanging tag).

When the time came for the ornament exchange, I was both proud of my little blue bird and nervous about the group's reaction to him. When my little bird was unwrapped, I could tell the recipient was disappointed for some reason and she started to laugh (yes, laugh!).

I can't help but feel hurt that my hard work was received in that manner, especially when everyone else brought in store-bought ornaments--there were even duplicates!

Then I had to stop and look at the situation from a different perspective. I know my bird was awesome, but the problem resided in the perception that some people have of handmade. The ornament recipient didn't realize the value and hard work that goes into a handmade piece.

Why must value be decided by where a piece was purchased, rather than how it was created?

I've seen this same scenario play out in other places, such as Etsy. A good percentage of items available for sale on Etsy are handmade (vintage and supplies are also available on the site--and some supplies can even be handmade) but artists routinely de-value themselves because they don't respect their work.

But think about this: if that same handmade item was for sale in a store like Macy's or even a boutique shop, the perceived value would be higher and therefore command a higher price, yet the craftsmanship would be the same (or higher if it is a one-of-a-kind item instead a mass-produced piece).

So why do we continually de-value handmade?

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 14:49:00 +0000

I don't have much "me time" these days, so I take the time for deep reflection during the hours each week I spend sitting in my car (usually in traffic). Sometimes I reflect on deep, meaningful topics, such as parenting and finances. Other times, my head is filled with completely random thoughts, such as these:

If I clean my coffee maker with vinegar, aren't I essentially giving the thing a douche?

And, every 28 days my body makes me think I'm becoming a unicorn with the one massive zit that forms on my forehead, and that my nipples will fall off...all courtesy of PMS. I can't even begin to touch on the moodiness, which I'm sure has spread to days 1-365 of every year.

Those are just yesterday's random thoughts. I wonder what I'll come up with today.

Mommy and the Terrible, No Good, Crappy Day

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 14:51:00 +0000

Reading Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day to The Boy this evening for the umpteenth time since I got the book about a month ago, I realized that the mom is completely underrepresented in the book.

While Alexander has a bad day, you get glimpses of his mother (to three boys, nonetheless) who is having an equally crappy day.

If she were writing her own version of the book, it might go something like this (this is only partially inspired by true events):

This morning I woke up before the alarm, then I hit snooze and woke up 30 minutes late. I didn't have time to shower and had to wear yesterday's clothes again because I didn't get a chance to do the laundry yesterday.

I went downstairs to make coffee and we were out of it.

Then my three grumpy kids woke up, demanding cereal. My one kid wouldn't stop whining about being gyped on the cereal box toy.

I dropped the kids off at their carpool and headed off to work. On my way, I stopped by Dunkin Donuts and bought a cup of nasty coffee which I promptly spilled down my shirt and on my dryclean-only skirt. Then there was traffic, because earlier in the morning it had drizzled for 30 seconds.

I get to work and I forgot that I have a meeting, for which I'm late for and completely not prepared.

I forgot my new password to my computer so I had to call the Help Desk. I was chastised for 5 minutes before the guy on the other end reset it.

I realized more than half-way through the day that I was wearing two completely different pairs of shoes, and that I grabbed my kid's lunch instead of mine.

On my way home, I have to beat the bus home so I can take the kids to the dentist and the shoe store. Did I mention I have three boys, and my youngest is still whining?

Then I had to pick up my husband at work because his car is in the shop...again. My kids wrecked his office and now we're all in a bad mood.

My kids are fighting (again) and bedtime can't come soon enough.

Am I the only one who knows how to replace the toilet paper roll?

We have nothing to eat because I haven't had time to go to the grocery store. Everyone complains about the leftovers. Oh well.

Got the kids off to bed and now I have hours of laundry to deal with. My husband wants loving. I'm friggin' tired.

Have I mentioned I'm having a crappy day? Tomorrow has to be better, or else I'm running away.

Again, this is not entirely based on my personal experiences, but inspired by the book I've read to my son too many times to count.

A Vanity Facelift in Chocolate: DIY

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:58:00 +0000

I find projects to be therapeutic. Unfortunately, I generally start them during less-than-ideal time periods...such as days before having 11+ people over to my house for Thanksgiving, and generally when The Man is away.

But never mind the bad timing. I wanted to change things up in the bathroom.

Both the master bath and the guest bath (used by the monkey children) have 20+ year-old vanities. The poor things have great bones, but are in need of a face lift. (Besides, a complete overhaul would cost beaucoup dollars and during our "get out of debt" plan we have going on, it's not in the budget.)

Side note: I was a dork and didn't take a picture of the guest bathroom prior to beginning this project, but as I mentioned before, my master bathroom and guest bathroom share the same style vanity, so you get the idea.

Since the vanity I decided to upgrade was subjected to not only my children, but the two children who grew up in the house before we moved in, it was a little worn.

I wanted a rich, warm color for the vanity - so it looked like a piece of furniture rather than a standard bathroom vanity. I chose the darkest brown I could find and had it mixed in the Valspar paint + primer base. (I've had great success with the paint + primer from Valspar so it's my new go-to paint type.)

The doors are removed and the drawers are pulled
away from the vanity to allow for the paint & polycryclic to dry.

After removing the drawers, doors, and hardware, I sanded the old finish from the vanity using several different grits of sandpaper, then vacuumed the loose dust to keep it from mucking up the paint job.

It only took two coats of the paint to get a good, even color. What I wasn't expecting was the tackiness that would remain after using the latex paint (humidity and the abuse from the kids would scuff up the paint faster than I could put it on).

To seal the color, provide extra durability, and give the vanity that "furniture" feel, I applied two coats of Minwax Polycrylic to all painted areas of the vanity. The polycrylic dried evenly, quickly and left a beautiful professional-looking finish to the vanity.

Finally, I replaced the old hardware with new, inexpensive knobs from Lowes and put the door fronts back on the vanity. (Watch out, I was using the screw gun!)

I love how the vanity turned out. My next step is to replace the light fixture in this bathroom with something that is more updated and that gives off more light, followed by a DIY frame around the sad, boring mirror.

And once I'm done making the kids' bathroom look fabulous, it's on to the master bathroom for a similar face lift.

All in all, I spent less than $60 for the materials (paint, brushes, rollers, sandpaper, hardware and polycrylic). Each step took about 15-30 minutes.

Responsibility

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 15:25:00 +0000

After doing many internet searches on my symptoms, I believe I have the condition known as "responsibility".

Symptoms include having to be somewhere at a specific time and needing to stay home to take care of others.

I believe billions of people across the planet are afflicted with this condition. While extremely rare, a person can show signs of responsibility before their teenage years, whereas some people feel it creep up on them all of a sudden.

I'm not sure how I came to have responsibility but someone, somewhere gave me two children who are completely irresponsible to try and reverse the signs of responsibility. Unfortunately, I think it's made my condition worse.

I used to go out at night and lay around all weekend watching marathons on HGTV and Bravo. Now I stay in every night and only get to watch marathons of Spongebob.

Once you get responsibility, you never seem to get rid of it.

If you know someone who has a severe case of responsibility, please get them a drink and a babysitter, then send them out for the night.

Sad Pug

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 12:17:00 +0000

Our 10-year old pug, Lucy, misses The Man.

Is it a bad day, or just a sign you need a nap?

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:10:00 +0000

I'm having one of those days. You know, the kind of day that makes you want to crawl into a hole and wait out the craziness that seems to swirl around you.

First it was my child care provider calling in sick during a very busy time for me at work. Calling out today wasn't an option for me, there simply were too many things to do and not enough time to do them in.

Then it was a big project I've been working on hitting a brick wall. Only a day before the components to a big mailing were to go to the printer to make a deadline I was asked to re-position the message. Not a small or quick task.

But the icing on the cake is the fighting between the kids every single time I get on the phone. It doesn't matter if I'm calling for pizza or about booking a space for one of their birthday parties. These kids see those times as an opportunity to screech, throw punches and yell at me that so-and-so is doing something completely terrible (like sitting near the other one).

I know, I know suck it up, but today I feel flooded with crap.

Or maybe I'm just really tired. Yeah, that's probably it.

I probably just need a nap.

Couponing: an Infographic

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 18:21:00 +0000

Coupon use is on the rise, with more and more people clipping and downloading savings for their grocery and household items.

One of the places I get coupons is SavingsStar. They recently came out with this fantastic infographic about couponing.

Infographic by SavingStar grocery coupons

Finding a Good Deal: Dollar Stores

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 18:06:00 +0000

I'm always looking for the best deal...on everything.

I use coupons, store cards, shop sale items, and find association discounts whenever possible. (I saved over 51% today at the grocery store using coupons, sales, and my military discount!)

The next place to visit is the dollar store, where everything is just $1. Yes, just $1.

If you haven't been to your local dollar store, you should definitely go. I've scored great deals on holiday decor, wrapping paper, coloring books, and picture frames.

True, you should shop the dollar store with a critical eye towards expiration dates and irregularities that may cause a safety issue.

But where are the great savings at the dollar store? A recent article lists five "deals" to look for when visiting the dollar store, including pet toys and party supplies, and highlights the "no deals", such as medications. See the entire list and then head over to your local dollar store for some great deals.

Almost a Ransom Note: Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 11:14:00 +0000

Found this note in my kitchen.

Don't worry, Sam is alright and is
no longer locked up in the green room

How to: Hem a Pair of Pants

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:00:00 +0000

I can't tell you how hard it is to find pants that fit me. Either they gap too much at the waist and fit perfectly in the length, or fit perfectly at the waist and are about a million feet too long on the legs. And I refuse to pay $30 or so to have my pants hemmed.

Sewing Needle by Anderson Mancini
via Flickr

In the past I've passed up the pants that were too long, waiting until I found the perfect pair of pants (they're really hard to find, by the way), then I learned how to hem. What a difference learning how to hem can make--and you don't need a sewing machine to hem.

What you'll need:

Pair of pants that are too long
Straight pins
Iron & ironing board
Needle and thread
Scissors

How long will this take?

Depending on your skill level, hemming a pair of pants can take 20-30 minutes once you get the basics down.

7 Steps to Hemming

Turn the pair of pants that you want to hem inside out.

Put the pants on along with a pair of shoes you'll be likely to wear with the pants. (Different heel heights will affect the length of the pants.)

Fold the pants up to the desired length on each leg and secure with several straight pins. Tip: Don't just fold one pants leg and then mimic the length on the other leg. Many people's legs are different lengths and differences in hemmed lengths are more obvious on shorter pants legs.
Take the pants off and straighten out the hem on each leg. Make sure if you're hemming one inch, it's an even one inch all the way around the leg.
Press (fancy word for iron) the pants where the cuff is. Ironing the cuff down helps to keep everything in place when you start sewing.
Once both legs are pressed, thread your needle with coordinating color thread and knot the end. Begin the blind-hem stitch around each leg. See below for a video tutorial on the blind hem stitch, also known as the "slip stitch" (it's easy, I promise!).
Turn your pants right-side out and try them on.

Congratulations! You've just hemmed a pair of pants (and saved yourself some money).

Turn pants inside out

Pin uniformly to desired length

Sew a blind hem stitch

Turn right-side out and be proud of your work.

How to Sew a Blind Hem Stitch (or Slip Stitch)

Is it Magic, or Just Knowledge?

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:42:00 +0000

Sometimes I feel like a magician at a David Copperfield show.

No, I don't know magic, but I do know how to make jewelry and whenever I'm invited to a direct sales jewelry show I can't help but feel jaded since I know "the secret."

I love jewelry, so I never turn down an opportunity to at least window shop. When I reviewed the direct sales company's jewelry catalog I was met with the feeling of confusion and awe.

I knew I could make just about every piece in the catalog (and I checked several other jewelry company catalogs to see if I felt the same way universally or not--I do). How could I bring myself to buy a piece of jewelry I could walk into my studio and easily make--for a tiny fraction of what the company is asking for?

As it turns out, I couldn't.

I sadly closed the catalog after searching for something to fall in love with, something that I had to have but couldn't make myself. I left that catalog with a feeling of disappointment that these companies are making these pieces of jewelry using plastic and faux beads and asking more than what I'd ask for anything I'd make myself using authentic stones and materials. Could I be short-changing my own work?

Granted, my jewelry business has been on hold while life events consumed much of my time--both literally and the time I take to create the concept of my pieces. Why shouldn't my work sell for the same amount, if not more due to materials, as what these direct sales companies charge?

One of the things these companies have going for themselves is a huge network of sales consultants who not only span the entire country (sometimes countries), but the sales consultants are selling the pieces in person. For the past three years, I've focused the majority of my distribution via the internet.

I don't have an army of sales consultants to share my creations with the world (yet), but I can focus more of my efforts towards in-person distribution: craft fairs, festivals and trunk shows.

So while the fellow magician might sit in the background silently critiquing a colleagues performance, he can also be picking up clues as to how to make his show better...and that's what I'm going to do with my jewelry.

The Parent-Teacher Conference

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 19:01:00 +0000

I knew this day would come sooner or later: the parent-teacher conference (queue suspenseful music).

In all actuality, it wasn't that bad. The worst part of the entire meeting I had with The Girl's teacher was when I became a hot mess of coughing uncontrollably, my eyes watering like I was crying (which I was not), and my nose running.

In other words, the teacher didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. The Girl excels at some things, and she needs improvements in others.

In all honesty, I wasn't too concerned with the math/writing aspects of the review. I feel those are easily addressed. However, my biggest takeaway from the meeting was the need to address some behavior issues with her, namely acting out and shutting down. In other words, she needs to use her words more and react less physically.

Could her actions be a reaction to The Man's deployment? I think his deployment could be exacerbating her issues, but she had communication problems before he even left.

So in the meantime, I'm cracking down on the fighting and bickering that occurs in our house by insisting that words are used. We're spending more time in our rooms reflecting on our actions when we do things that are wrong. We're apologizing for hurting others, using positive reinforcement, and most importantly, we're keeping our hands to ourselves.

Having said that, has anyone seen my whistle?

I'd like to hear from you:
Did a routine conference with your child's teacher result in adjustments to the way you handle parenting situations?

Mouth-Watering Crock Pot Chili

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 16:28:00 +0000

This chili is not only colorful and delicious, it's also easy to make. I enjoy making this chili on cool days; preparing the ingredients in the morning and returning hours later to a hot bowl of chili from the crock pot

Ingredients

1 pound ground meat
1 medium red onion
1 each green, orange and red peppers
15 oz (1 can) kidney beans
15 oz (1 can) pinto beans
15 oz (1 can) corn
30 oz (2 cans) diced tomatoes
1 packet chili seasoning
2 Tbsp brown sugar
3 shakes ground cinnamon
3 shakes nutmeg
shredded cheese (optional)
sour cream (optional)

Instructions

Brown the ground meat in a skillet. Drain juice.
Chop the peppers and onion, toss into crock pot.
Open the canned goods, draining the beans and corn. Put the drained items into the crock pot
Place the ground meat into the crock pot, followed by the diced tomatoes and chili seasoning packet. Stir well until the seasoning is evenly distributed.
Add the brown sugar to the pot and add three shakes of the ground cinnamon and nutmeg. Stir well.
Set the crock pot on low for 5 hours.
Serve topped with shredded cheese and sour cream (optional).

Make clean up easier

Empty any leftovers into a container and rinse the inside of the crock pot (the part the chili was in, not the part that plugs into the wall) with water. Liberally sprinkle the edges and bottom of the pot with baking soda and let it sit for about 20 minutes.

The baking soda will help loosen the cooked-on food and the pot will require only light scrubbing. Wash the crock pot with soap & water, or place in your dishwasher.

Don't Say I Didn't Acknowledge Your Special Day

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 11:16:00 +0000

It's my younger brother's birthday today. He's turning 29 (again) this year.

Happy birthday, Jason!

Making More Time

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 14:44:00 +0000

I've had to put the jewelry business on the back burner for the past couple of months while life spun out of control.

I missed it. I used my time making jewelry as my down time. I got to use the other side of my brain--the creative side--rather than my analytical side for a while.

It's important to have some sort of down time to your day, something that relaxes you and leaves you refreshed.

I tried replacing the feeling I got from making jewelry with reading books. Don't get me wrong, I love reading but it just doesn't give me the same feeling creating jewelry pieces does.

Thankfully, I found about 15 minutes the other day to get back into wire, beads and my tools. I felt refreshed afterwards and the twitchiness I had subsided for a bit.

I'm still working on that piece I started the other day and don't expect to get back to it for a little while, but I feel good. I can't wait to get back to my studio office and create more.

Creating pretty things is what keeps me grounded (and sane). What about you?

Big Savings in Action

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 23:34:00 +0000

While I didn't say, "this is going to be my biggest haul yet", it did feel a bit like a scene from Extreme Couponing when I saved over $45 at the grocery store today.

My total after the sale items came to about $114...then the slowest checkout person in the world scanned my customer card and the total dropped into the $90 range...then the coupons brought the total down even more. My store has a military discount on Wednesdays, so I showed the ringer-upper person my military ID and another 5% came off the total.

I know I wasn't anywhere close to getting 90% off my total order like the folks on Extreme Couponing, but looking at the $45 savings at the bottom of the receipt was a pretty awesome feeling.

Find a Smile: Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 11:00:00 +0000

If you can't find a smile, make one.

9 Tricks to Make Thanksgiving Easier This Year

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 14:55:00 +0000

Hosting Thanksgiving this year? Keep in mind these nine tips to make being a hostess for Thanksgiving dinner easier.

Define what the basics of your meal will be. Traditionally, Thanksgiving dinner consists of turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes and stuffing. Want a dessert or appetizer? Think about these things now and get your recipes together.
If you're hosting Thanksgiving, don't try more than one new recipe a year. You have so much on your plate already, keep it simple and don't over burden yourself. If you really want to have more than one new dish at the table, consider asking one of the guests to make it and bring it.
Delegate. I can't stress this enough. Whatever you can get extra help with, get it. Need someone to scrub a toilet before guests arrive? Ask your husband or one of your kids. Even if it's not perfect, it's good enough. If you're expecting a large group of people, consider delegating some of the food--even if it's asking someone to bring ice, rolls, or Cool Whip for the dessert.
Lower your standards. Your house doesn't have to be perfect. Remember, you can bust your butt cleaning all day or week long before your guests arrive and no matter how civilized they are, your house will be dirtier than the moment before everyone arrives. You'll just have to clean your house again once everyone leaves.
Buy a bit at a time. Begin buying ingredients for your meal several weeks in advance. You don't have to cram in a huge shopping trip a day or week before the big meal. Spread it out. Not only will it be less of a sticker shock (use coupons when you shop!), but key ingredients will go on sale in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving.
Create a schedule. This includes when things need to go into the oven, come out of the oven, when guests arrive, and when you can schedule a shower. The more you can go on autopilot Thanksgiving day, the more fun you'll have.
Keep clean up easy. Consider investing in some paper plates (Chinet has some nice heavy-duty plastic plates), disposable cups, and plastic ware. When people finish eating they just toss everything into the trash, rather than sentencing you to time loading or unloading the dishwasher.
Prepare for next year. Keep a record of your schedule and the recipes you use in a binder for easy access in years to come. Make edits as needed and each year you'll find entertaining for the holidays easier and easier.
Have fun.

Do you have any additional tips to make hosting Thanksgiving, or any holiday meal, easier? Please feel free to share them in the comments.

My Little Pony Gets Inked

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:36:00 +0000

This is Angela, but she prefers that people call her Angel.

Up until this year she's maintained a straight-A average in school, was a cheerleader and the apple of her parents' eyes.

Then she met Frank, the stallion.

Frank is a rebel. He wears a black leather jacket, smokes Marlboro Menthols, and refuses to be broken. He's every pony parent's nightmare.

Angel takes up with the rebellious Frank the stallion. He shows her how to smoke, drink and takes her virginity one day in the back of an abandoned stall.

Angel enjoys living on the wild side and accompanies Frank to the local tattoo shop where she winds up with sleeves and body art all over herself.

She doesn't care what her parents think. She's running away with Frank the stallion because they're in love.

Oh, and she's pregnant.

She's just waiting for Frank to come back from picking up a carton of smokes and a six pack before they run away together.

Sadly, she'll be waiting a long time. Frank the stallion has taken up with Angela's best friend Sally.

I Do Not Eat Bon-Bons on My Days "Off"

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 12:45:00 +0000

I work three days a week as a marketing project manager consultant for local financial services firms. Wednesdays and Fridays are my days "off"--at least according to my work schedule.

Many of my work colleagues believe that on the days I have "off" I sit around having a grand old time.

Far from the truth.

I'd like to take this opportunity to clear up that even when I'm not at work, I'm still working--just not for pay. In fact, I'm not sure what being "off" even means anymore.

Since The Man's on his way to the desert for his deployment, I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

I spend my Wednesdays and Fridays readying both kids for school, then rushing around doing errands during the 2.5 hours of "me" time while the boy is in school.

Speed grocery shopping? I got that covered.

Speed cleaning? Yeah, I got that covered, too.

Sitting around eating bon-bons while reading gossip magazines and painting my nails? Um, no.

It's amazing what can be accomplished in the few short hours I have to "myself" each week. Unfortunately, this means that the bon-bons and gossip magazines will have to wait until another day.