Fahri's blog

Memulai kembali

2012-09-15T14:31:00.000+08:00

Oke, setelah sekian lama jatuh bangun dalam hidup, menjalani hidup yang penuh drama (terkesan seperti ABG yang lagi galau ya =D) akhirnya saya ~~mendeklarasikan~~ memutuskan untuk memulai kembali pekerjaan yang dulu ibu dan orang-orang di sekitar saya anggap ~~tidak~~ berguna. Well, hidup memang penuh warna, kadang naik kadang turun, kadang semangat kadang putus asa, kadang senang kadang sedih. Ya semua memang datang dengan satu paket :).

So, setelah diambang menyerah dan keputus-asaan di akhir tahun lalu karena kegagalan yang saya alami setelah berusaha keras menjadi mapan dan keluarga, setelah hampir setahun berlalu, saya memutuskan untuk kembali untuk perlahan menapaki kembali dunia entrepreneurship. Namun beruntung bagi saya dalam jeda waktu beberapa bulan kemarin saya mendapat pekerjaan yang ~~cukup~~ layak, hingga saat ini, di AirAsia Indonesia.


GOP - Customer Exp Basic Training Batch #3

Ya, seperti memulai dari nol lagi, memulai dari bawah. Sempat juga mengalami depresi karena harus memulai lagi, tapi berkat dukungan dan motivasi keluarga, saya maju terus dan berjalan lagi. Satu hal yang harus saya syukuri hingga saat ini ternyata saya mendapat pekerjaan dengan salary dan benefit yang bagus. Memang posisi yang saya tempati di bidang customer service atau dengan istilah Guest Service Assistant (GSA) berada di level bawah namun dengan benefit yang di dapat semua menjadi luar biasa. Jauh di atas karyawan kantoran, bahkan setara level supervisor atau manajer di bidang usaha lain, walaupun begitu tiap bidang usaha memiliki plus minusnya sendiri.

Aktifitas kerja bisa dibilang cukup berat dengan shift yang cukup gila, paling pagi jam 03:15 dan paling sore jam 14:45 dengan 10 jam kerja (bahkan lebih) dan 4 hari kerja 2 hari libur, tanpa kenal weekend dan hari libur nasional. Kemampuan berkomunikasi menjadi skill utama di sini, dan skill lain yang juga penting adalah mengoperasikan komputer dengan baik. Penampilan atau grooming juga vital, attitude yang baik dan sikap yang proaktif. Menjaga stamina juga sangat penting, karena banyak melibatkan aktifitas fisik dan jam kerja yang panjang.

Tahun ini saya berada di Denpasar, Bali, bekerja di Bandara Udara Ngurah Rai di bawah naungan PT. Indonesia Air Asia, dan bulan depan insyaAllah dijadwalkan untuk training lagi di AirAsia Academy di Kuala Lumpur. Mari tetap optimis untuk terus maju ke depan dengan berusaha sebaik mungkin, fokus untuk menjadi lebih baik :)

MSG UC 0153 Victory

2012-02-27T21:12:00.001+08:00

Still, waiting for my first day to work, in my idle time I started to look on another series of Gundam metaverse and I thought I would watch Mobile Suit Victory Gundam. I read the reviews and it has been noted by several people as the best and the last anime in UC timeline as it sets on UC 0153, 60 years after Char's Counter Attack or 57 years after Laplace Conflict on MS Unicorn Gundam.

As the matter of fact it is also the darkest series in UC timeline, deeper than previous Z Gundam. Miserable death scenes often shown in both protagonist or antagonist characters as most of the main characters died horribly in the war, leaving few survived.

I have watched the entire series and whoah, it's absolutely crazy, maybe the media was right, Tomino was under depression as the sponsors asked him too much. Noted on the first episode which should be fourth episode was put first, and most notable was the entire all female Shrike team was annihilated one by one till the end of the series, including the male leader Oliver Inoe ramming his own V2 Core fighter into kamikaze attack on Adrastea Class which was futile attempt.

Through the entire series mostly showing how 13 years old powerful newtype Uso Evin and his friends including Shakti Karin, Uso's love interest (which he considered as sister on the earlier episodes) and unbeknownestly was Queen Maria of Zanscare Empire only daughter (later she was discovered by Chronicle Asher, Marias's brother) accidentally involved and dragged into fierce war between League Militaire aided with Fallen Earth Federation Forces versus Zanscare Empire whom inherited colonies (much more like Princiaplity of Zeon).

The battle keep evolving as the new characters and new lines mobile suits introduced forcing Uso move on and determined to stop the war along with Shakti and his friends, including all out sacrifices made by Shrike team. Throughout the episodes Uso, Shakti and his friends gradually matures in the process. While the antagonists ended up being lunatic because of the situation caused by Uso and his Victory Gundam, attracting yet overpowering any new mobile suits and pilots. The most notable is Katejina Loos, a friend which ended up as foe (though she lost after battling Uso and ended up being blind and amnesiac as shown on the last episode) and her love interest and Uso main rival, Chronicle Asher. Also not to forget Fara/Fuala Griffon which turned unstable after kept losing against League militaire and other whom had shown hatred, resentment yet obsession toward Uso and his Victory Gundam, which Zanscare soldiers called, White One or Shiroi yatsu.

As always, I'll share what I've got on the internet and you guys can download them here. Therefore I have no ownership and the counterparts, but only to share what I like and found.

Just one more thing, if you don't like Yoshiyuki Tomino's "Kill 'em all" style, better not to watch this one ;)

Coffee~

2012-02-22T20:12:00.000+08:00

I never miss a day without coffee. One or two glass a day, very nice and helps me enjoying my time, alone, with family or friends. Mostly a glass of coffee accompanied with with cigarette, and I know it's bad for health I've been quite friendly with this pair for two years since I began to work. But again, I didn't always have coffee with cigarette, coffee itself is already enough to turn my mood.

A good friend to relax to enjoy yourself or when you're in workplace just to have a break during worktime. Though I like coffee I've never been fancied having many kinds of taste of coffees. I have two small bags of robusta and torajan coffee from excelso but mostly I just having nescafe daily.

To make a nice coffee fro myself I usually just put one full teaspoon of coffee, half teaspoon of sugar, two teaspoons of chocolate powder and then pour it with hot water just about three quarter of a mug, mix it. Lastly to fill the quarter left I just pour liquid full cream milk, mix it again, and here it is, a nice mug of coffee in the morning I usually have.

Well, it's not too fancy but it's nice ;) Surely it would be better with cinnamon, but next time I might try adding it.

Keroro Gunsou de arimasu!

2012-02-22T14:38:00.000+08:00

So on the time I spent for almost two months I was poking around the web and suddenly set my eyes on Sunrise's comedy anime, Keroro Gunsou or Sgt. Frog. Bored to watch Gundam series and found this green guy and his platoon talking about invasion while they're just making stupid things and messing around lol.

Natsumi just keep yelling, "Nee bokegaeru! Chotto kiiteru?!" While Fuyuki just saying, "Gunsou...?". Funny how their name was made simple and they mumbles as their name syllables, like Keroro keep saying kerokerokero, or Giroro mumbling girogirogiro so on with the others.

Anyway i found these links for five Keroro Gunsou Movies.

Keroro Gunsou Super Movie 1
Chou Gekijouban Keroro Gunsou 2: Shinkai no Princess de arimasu!
Keroro Gunsou the Super Movie 3: Keroro vs Keroro Great Sky Duel!
Keroro Gunsou the Super Movie 4: Gekishin Dragon Warriors!
Keroro Gunsou the Super Movie 5: Creation! Ultimate Keroro, Wonder Space-Time Island

ケロロ小隊, 出撃であります!!!

So Nyeo Shi Dae lol

2012-02-22T13:00:00.000+08:00

Haha I never thought that I would fall in love with Korean songs. So few days ago I was watching Monty Oum's Dead Fantasy and I found one clip composed with dead fantasy girls singing SNSD's Gee.

he really did great things putting nice coreographs and showing how cute these girls are. Well, still they're just animated stuff, can be programmed to move exactly as we want and people still make mistakes trying to look perfect.

But still SNSD Girl's are cute heheh. And like as usual, I don't really following latest trend and sharing things that you guys might have it already or just deleted them, but I got SNSD Gee clip here and the mini album, and Monty Oum's Dead Fantasy Gee clip in mkv.

Lastly credit belongs to those guys whom uploaded them and I don't own any part of it, but only sharing what I like and found it on the internet :)

DEPAPEPE ~ One

2012-02-21T23:30:00.000+08:00

About two years ago my friend was sharing her youtube post about Depapepe clip playing Johan Pachelbel's Canon in D. I was quite astonished with the song and how extraordinary the duo played and improvising with guitars. On that time I was still addicted on anime OST's and Trance music. So I just keep it on my playlist sometimes listening it for a while.

Just at the beginning of February I was listening one of Bond's song, Lullaby, I suddenly remembered Pachelbel's Canon and Depapepe. Still in instrumental songs mood, I searched in the internet and I found Depapepe's latest album, titled One, which is really really nice and easy to listen. So, if any of you interested, you can have it from here.

And as always, the song and everything belongs to the respective owners, and thanks to the guy whom uploaded it. Cheers

OST Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn

2012-02-21T22:23:00.000+08:00

I never lost my interest on Anime's OST especially when it comes with nice instrumental touch. Aftering hearing the second album, Gundam UC OST 2, I like Ego and Remind You vocalised by Mika Kobayashi. As for the instrumental the most engaging would be MAD-NUG and Mobile Suit Mix, really marvelous.

Well I am a person whom really won't gonna talk much about song, espescially when it comes to instrumental. I just like and enjoying it, letting in going inside and all. And I know this maybe a bit late but you like you can have it here.

I would like to say thanks to whomoever uploaded it and the credit goes to him/her. And one more thing I don't own it, just sharing what I like and found it on the internet ;)

【EGO】

2012-02-06T10:24:00.000+08:00

【EGO】
Piano & Programming：HIROYUKI SAWANO | 钢琴&后期：泽野弘之
Guitars：HIROSHI IIMURO | 吉他：饭室ひろし
Strings：DAISENSEI MUROYA strings | 弦乐：大先生室屋
Lyrics：mpi | 作词：mpi
Music：HIROYUKI SAWANO | 音乐：泽野弘之
Vocal：MIKA KOBAYASHI | 演唱：小林未郁

You can deeply hold your breath for loneliness
For the perfect smile I smell your ego on the way
It's long since I saw the snow
You've been told before
All this things have gone

You told me, so many mental heavy days
Do the right thing but always wrong eventually
In his arm for dreaming on
But we're not the same
Anymore...

Give me your hand I really need your help (feel pain so much)
It's not a game
What are you saying?
Trembling in the dark (Walking in the dark)
It's time to find the answer
A life for counter by the storm
The waves are all of the world
Have you tired to face your days that you can learn

You can deeply hold your breath for loneliness
For the perfect smile I smell your ego on the way
It's long since I saw the snow
I've been read before
At the end of lines

----------------------------------------------------

Credit

【REMIND YOU】

2012-02-06T10:21:00.001+08:00

【REMIND YOU】
Piano & Programming：HIROYUKI SAWANO | 钢琴&后期：泽野弘之
Drums：YU“masshoi”YAMAUCHI | 鼓手：YU “マッショイ”YAMAUCHI
Bass：TOSHINO TANABE | 贝斯：田边としの
Guitars：KAZUYA TAKAYAMA | 吉他：たかやまかずや
Lyrics：mpi | 作词：mpi
Music：HIROYUKI SAWANO | 作曲：泽野弘之
Vocal：MIKA KOBAYASHI | 演唱：小林未郁

Who passed away each one in the fight
There was no doubt we started for pride
And your grief stays too long
then the war brings it worst
Tell me why? we're stuck in this deep black hole

Count it from me
No one knows our day'll be
Don't be afraid everyone will reach for last
Nothing but without you I can not go on
Now I'm touching to the core of the light
Sharing with you for a while tiny moment
All I can give you for some help
Just reminds you

Who passed away each one for the fight
There was no doubt we dreamt of the ride
And your grief stays too long
then the war brings it worst
Now we searching for under the hope with you

Count it from me My heart beat get slower
Don't be surprise every one will die at last
Nothing but without you I can not go on
Now I'm looking for the place to belong

Past to the present
Slave to the power

Into my brain From top to the bottom all over my skin
All of me is lashed with high fever
Don't say just yes, Oh no matter what they have made up
All the things must fix them by yourself
Past to the present
Slave to the power
But is our bravely from desire
Quest for the future

---------------------------------------

Credit

No job?

2012-02-05T21:45:00.001+08:00

Seriously being unemployed for over a month is extremely frustrating. I've sent so many job applications and interview quite a few all of them looks promising at first. But then after these 2-3 weeks everything is like turning out to be somekind of jokes.

The first interview was with PT. MAP Tbk. Well, as you all people know, it runs many stores with lots of brands. Just like, everybody knows S*go, S*ibu, Ad*das, M*ssimo D*ti, Z*ra, etc. When the first time I figured them out, I said to myself "wow, if I can get into one those it will be hell" lol. Well, the first interview took place on Kuta Square. It was very promising at first. A week later I got phone call from Jakarta and HR guy interviewed directly by phone and in English, and it ended with one thing, I have to go to Jakarta. No way if there's no guarantee that I will be accepted.

The second one would be with C*ntro. I was interviewed by the assistant store manager and I must admit my mistake that I was too cocky and ended up pissed off by myself, shit. But again, after a week I was interviewed again, this time with the sore manager herself. Again for the third time I was called for tests, after that interviewed again by the assistant store manager. he told me again that I'll be notified for maximum one week... It was quite tiring and boring, what the hell they're doing calling people for many times and I'm not the only one who's been treated like that, bloody hell...

The third was with local retail company, C*cogroup. Well I never find out anything until I came to the office that was a small 3 story building. I just entered there and fill the forms and had an interview with the HR Manager. And then I was told to wait as he consult to the Purchasing Manager. Later his assistant told me that I'll be contacted again. Well they did few days later and i was told to come but I didn't. At that time I was confused with MAP's asking me to go to Jakarta.

The fourth one was PT. T*garaksa S*tria Tbk. Well known fmcg company for it's SGM products and I know it well. Took me almost a day having the test and passed it. And again I was told to wait for two weeks. Thanks...

The fifth was T*talsystem. It was basically consultant, acting as business development partner in the clients daily operational. Well, the interview and the test ran well. But from the way the head manager talks several times that I might need to learn more which implicitly saying "you aren't qualified yet boy". Well at least that maybe proven me wrong as he rang me again on the day he promised and I just missed the call, I was taking a nap lol.

The sixth and the last until now is S*rya group. It's family company and had diversified businesses as they're run by the sons and daughters. I was offered to work as futures stock marketing for F*rst state company. I said to the manager that I'll contact him in a week if I agree and then he said that I'll be having final interview with the director himself next week. Thank you but I think I won't be interested...

That's all... until now I'm still jobless...

Again and again

2012-02-05T21:07:00.001+08:00

Well, I've decided to quit my previous job and left Tarakan for good. It's without any reason. Just at the beginning of December suddenly there's problem arousing around my parents. My step mother got provoked and got jealous because of someone had forwarded text messages from my mother about my father whom he/she introduced his/herself as my mother's friend.

Well, little bit complicated but affected my a lot. I just don't like to remember those things and re-tell it again. I'm just sick and tired about those adults. I just don't know what to do. My step pressured my softly but cold-handedly striking and confusing around with her talks about my mother as if she knew everything. In fact that my father lied a lot in front of her. Not to forget the entire elders.

I've tried so hard to straight the issues but it seems that's not the point they wanted to see. I still have no idea for now, but I just couldn't think any other than leaving those goddamned family.

I don't care about them anymore I just don't want to get involved with their confusing thoughts. They think as if they know everything and become so holy spirited and cleansed from dirt, go ahead and pray as much as you can and go to pilgrim and waste those money for good.

I just absolutely do not want having any business with them anymore. I'll just go away. Bye bye the end. And I bet they'll be happy if I'm not around 'cause I couldn't give 'em any money, unlike the others. Kiss my ass.

About my life

2011-11-09T01:07:00.002+08:00

Well, after a long while I write on my blog again. Just likeold times, I had no place to put my thoughts and tell my story to anyone. It feels like I want to scream out loud and end up my miserable life. It's like a heavy burden that I have to carry on in my entire life. The way I used to live on solitary life, I really hate it. I envy peoples who have beautiful life on their job, their social life and their relationships. Why can't I be like them? What's wrong with me? Am I an alien or something? Almost in my entire life spent in solitary, ever since my early childhood.

Really I want to have a beautiful life, I want to have nice peoples and environment around me, I want to have a good relationship. When would it be? Every time I tried everything seems to be unfit, why? My job treated me like a slave in hellish office with crazy workloads, and not to mention a small amount of salary which I received at the end of the month. Each time I'm interested with a girl they seem just like want to run away from me, what's wrong with me? Do I look like a frankenstein or does my behavior causes bad impression on you girls huh?

Everytime I asked to God to lend me His strength to fix my life but I can barely see the result. I don't know where else do I have to seek for help. Why do I have to live in solitary life? I really really hate it so much. I tried to be kind to peoples around me, but all I can feel is nothing but pain inside. Why? What I am?

I feel like an insignificant asshole of this century, fuck it. Why? Is this my karma for my sins in the past? What about repentance? Second chances? Any? Where? None?

I've read few articles that stated happiness decided by our own, yes I declared several times in my life but in no time they were struck by waves problems and bad things. Am I not deserve to be happy? Was I born in this world to suffer in my solitary life? Why can't I have good friends like others? Though I've tried very hard and treat other people nicely. Why? FUCK!

Should I end up my life to relieve this suffering? A quick death will end everything. God why are you so cruel to me? Why? You're The One, The Benefactor, The Gracious, The Compassionate, are those name truly represent your power? You even let this good-for-nothing asshole suffering time to time?! Why? Why can't I be joyous and having a beatiful life like others? Why? Am I not good enough? I've pleaded to you many times to help me preventing to do sins again, but yet you just let me doing sins over and over again. Why? Why you created egoistic, weak, good-for-nothing asshole like me??? If I just only to suffer time to time and having peoples who barely can accept me? And keeping me in solitary life? Why? FUCK!

Why?

To where else do I have to go? You let me suffered long enough, and I can only see others laughing with each other from a distance... I even had no relationships with anyone, not even a single girl could even match up with me...

What should I do? I did prayers, in my sleep, when I was happy or sad I always call your name, but did you ever hear and accept it? Does my filthy mouth not deserved to say your names? Am I just to sinful even to remember you?

Perhaps I'll just be a bad boy again, God deosn't hear my voices, He's just watching me and do nothing with my life, Perhaps He's waiting how long I can stand his mighty torture. I don't know how many times I begged Him and do good deeds the best I can do. Perhaps those meant nothing to Him.

As until now I can barely sleep, my heart, my mind, my body feels so tired but they are all tormented by this pathetic life I had.

God helped those miserable fuckers more than He did to me. He even gave them good life and all. Why not on me?

God, you are the The King, The Beginning and The End, The Almighty. But as of now I'm waving off good bye to you and the religion you made. Screw them all they're not working on me, those prayers and all they all just a bunch of lies to me. I don't care anymore. I'll do anything as long as I'm happy. Fuck everything, screw them all.

Dear God, thank you for prolonging my miserable life and taking away happines around me. As for now I'll do bad things and sins thank you very much.

Someone to love?

2010-09-02T14:25:00.000+08:00

Who to love? A girl :)) Today I dropped tears after realized something about love, at least a precious fragment that I should keep in my heart. Well, I won't tell about how many times my struggle about love and about my ex-gfs. Including girls whom had crush with me back then lol, I'm so lame XD Anyway I was realizing a form of love that lasts in our life and constantly given to us :)

There is a true love in this world, given to each one of us, and we accept it everyday as we live now. We never realize it, but it is our choice to realize and accept it, and to be grateful for it. A form of compassion that any living being can not do.

There is no event in this world occurred without His permission. Including our life, since the day we were born, He has made our very soul pledge to His greatness and bow down to His might. Just as the way we love, but we often put first our desire as leader of our decision making. Thus leads us to the wrong way of understanding and to whom firstly we should give our love to the fullest.

If we do really look for someone who would take care of all the time, wanting someone who would be with us all the time, someone who would listen our laments no matter how many times we said it.

Someone who would cherish us through a fascinating way.
Someone who would give us much more if we give sincerely.
Someone would give anything we want as long as it's beneficial to us and do not leading us to astray.
Someone who care to us and giving our daily needs properly.
Someone who doesn't leave us behind even sometimes we forget.
Someone who is very happy when we remember about, even happier than someone who'd found his ride after losing it in the middle of vast dessert.
Someone who would give us anything which is much more precious than just birthday day present given to us once in a year.
Someone who would be closing near further to us each time we closing near.
Someone who would accept us no matter how many times we conduct betrayal.

Is there any girl/guy who can give those to you? :)
Does your parents can give those to you? :)

They can and always be, at least once, can hurt you, leave you, ignore you, insult you, spit on your face, kick your ass or else, putting an end to know you, leaving you behind as if you were never existed in their life. A bitter side of life, which is happened to some of us :)

But then, there is Someone, who would never such things to us, only The Almighty, The Beneficent can do this.

Ask yourself...

In this Holy month Ramadan it is a perfect moment to rethink about our relationship with our God, how far is our thoughts about Him, and how do remember Him.

Hmmm...

2010-09-02T13:28:00.001+08:00

Today I woke up late, as usual, lol. It was quiet here at home. Later I went down to the washing machine, taking care of my smelly clothes. Somehow I felt so lonely lately, stuck in daily activities, wake up late with my whole body aching-so tired, go to the market buying supplies, in the afternoon preparing the workplace, at dusk start to sell wonton noodles and going home late night. Almost everyday I do this activities, sometimes I felt bored, my only entertainment is this laptop, internet, and smoking.

Supposed to have some fun since I'm the boss and I had most profit in hand. But I was just wasting my money to buy drinks and some meals for me and my employees, everyday. Well, my father advised me to hold and keep my money instead wasting it for unnecessary wants. Ever since we were aiming to grow and expand. Ah, I guess I have to be more patient and endure it. Maybe this' what to be become an entrepreneur. At least this' what books said -_-. Becoming one is not being able to spend your money as much as you like, but to hold your wants unlike most people usually do. Maybe I should check my daily expenses to reduce unnecessary costs.

Actually I have no problem on my job, but when I am about to reach my limit of getting bored, I have no idea how to get entertainment for myself. Which is sometimes I felt better this way, maybe focusing on my job is a lot better. I also learn to lessen my senses for being attracted on opposite sex, which is best for my current state, I think. I'll just need to get myself used to it. Although sometimes I felt that I need someone to love, so lame :))

Well, among doubts that crossing around in our thoughts, we still have to press and move on leaving those doubts behind and chasing our dream. Maybe some people knows clearly what they aimed for in this life, and sometimes don't or even not at all. Even so we are all always had something we desired in the future though it's only vague picture. A future that will be certain if we keep doing our best realizing it, am I right?

I want love :)

Playing an old game console

2010-08-31T05:41:00.002+08:00

Yeah, it will be old enough if you play sony psx or playstation gaming console. I used to play it when I'm still at junior high, well, it was about 13 years ago. Up until now sometimes I still played it, emulated through a virtual gaming console. It's quite convenient if you want to reminisce playing your favorite games back then or just want to play some game.

First thing that I would recommend first here is that you will need a rather middle-high spec of cpu. Like at least using dual core processors, fast bus speed, high physical memory (RAM) at least 1 GB, and if you have at least 128 MB VRAM memory it would be sufficient. The second thing is if you have an unlimited internet connection you can utilize it to download various games in an image files containing the game copied from the original CD usually in .iso format extension files. The third one for the controllers I recommend using joystick rather than keyboard (it sucks to ruin your keyboard buttons if you play tekken or street fighter).

The next thing, which most important, is where you are have to ~~download~~ the virtual gaming console you need and games you want. There are few playstation emulators built by awesome guys and you can just try them here. But I would recommend ePSXe as it work mostly on various games. For the game images you can look for it here or here.

If you try to look more fun in virtual gaming console which at least not too old, I would recommend playing playstation 2 on your desktop, by using a virtual gaming console. Same rule like above but you will need higher spec. I use pcsx 2 to play ps 2 games on my laptop. And for the games, nah, you can look it on the sites where I told you before, if you want to ~~download~~ few gigs of ps 2 dvd image files XD. Anyway long talk won't be any use if you don't try 'em first. Troubles often when you operating the console for the first time 8) Well, enjoy ;)

Making a Sony Ericsson Theme at my spare time

2010-08-30T10:57:00.001+08:00

I did this one at my spare time few weeks ago. Though it's not very nice but rather than keeping it for myself I'd share to other people whom like Gundam 00 or just want some sony ericsson theme for his/her cellphone. Well it's kind of outdated making these theme as qwerty cellphones as well as wide with touch screen cellphones rules the market. But, as for my old cellphone W890i I need to do something to customize it myself, just to make it look better.

For the ringtone I use Brilliant Green's Ash Like Snow, edited, leaving only intro and ending as if it's instrumental song. I chose it to be the main tone ever since it's the best song I could fit in the theme and it's the second opening theme for the anime. For the message ringtone I took Setsuna F. Seiei's quote on episode 25 Season 1 as it pronounced to be, "Exia, Setsuna F. Seiei, mokuhyou wo kuchiku suru!".

One thing that couldn't fix here until now is how to put a background image on the walkman lol. And this theme only uses images from Gundam 00 Season 1, I'm still looking forward to built from season 2 or the upcoming movie Gundam 00 : The Wakening of Trailblazer, ~~maybe~~. Anyway if you interested and want it to be yours, just grab it and install it into your sony ericsson cellphone. I also featured this work on my deviant art site, just to know :)

First time being an entrepreneur? Part 1

2010-08-29T00:06:00.000+08:00

Selling wonton noodles? Yes, that's what I am doing now. After resigned from broker company I went to Tarakan, East Borneo where my parents live now. What for? Just to start realizing my very dream, being an entrepreneur, though I have no idea what exactly being one.

The first time I set my eyes becoming an entrepreneur was when my lecturer at college told me to read Robert T. Kiyosaki's Rich Dad Poor Dad. It was an awesome book though, but I still struggling to comprehend concept. Because, however, it was written using American cultural style. And then my father offered me to sell product from his company. At least he intended to let me experience selling goods using my own discretion.

Next step, I start to put an advertisement on daily newspaper which displayed for a month. Well, with limited budget given and lacking experience that's the only idea came out from my mind, aside from telling to my friends and colleagues about business I ran. I sell boneless milkfish branded Chanoz vacuum-pressed in plastic packaging, luxurious, pretty expensive, and durable. I intended to sell it on a middle up market, ever since the production cost was pretty high.

The advertisement was pretty effective, I had several orders from certain range market, from middle to up but mostly from middle economic class. Funny things happened too, when I have to deliver goods to my customers I had to sneak out from class quietly lol. It was pretty nice selling the goods, I had few regular customers too. And the fish stock shipped twice by my father sent to me.

I planned to open a small restaurant too just like my father did at Tarakan. But then the plan was canceled although it's already set in motion because I barely can focus to my college, family problems and my girlfriend on that time made me hardly can focus on everything. Thanks to those problems too I had to cease my business after two months work on direct selling. All plans canceled including offer to several supermarket and hotels to sell the fishes. Among those all, one most important thing that I wasn't mentally good enough to run the business. One major problem that I'm struggling to change until this very moment.

It's raining all day

2010-08-28T10:49:00.004+08:00

Ah I can't believe today I got my schedule disarrayed. The rain won't stop since last night *sighs* and this morning I can't go anywhere. Much much unpredictable climate of this small island. Back on yesterday it was hot all day with no sign of clouds appearing, at least not until last night.

Sadly when I'm still at home right now, I had nothing to do. My mom and my sisters downstairs that I would like to have chit-chat with them I just couldn't do it since there's nothing I could talk for. Man life sure is hard when you have no friends around. I feel it as if everyday I lived, my daily activities sometimes just killing me. Ah I just let the time spent and not thinking about how precious every moment I lived.

Anyway it's been 5 months I lived here, Tarakan, East Borneo. Yet I still haven't make any good friendships. Except for my employees at my small restaurant. Somehow I just keep reminiscing about my old times, as it's similar condition like now, when I have no friends around.

My age soon will turn up to 24, yet I'm still the same like I was few years back. And the same feeling that keep haunts within my thoughts, like I missed something in my life, I desired something which can warm my heart. A feeling that I could not subdue, still I could not figure out something to solve it.

Haha this' all caused when I listened again an old song when I was still a kid. Mari Iijima as Lynn Minmay song, Tenshi no Enogu or Angel's Paint. Yep the song from Super Dimension Macross Flashback 2012. The first macross serie impressed me a lot, especially the love triangle between hikaru, misa and minmay. And one thing that maybe you guys think I was crazy that when I was still kid watching this tv series, I was fall in love with misa hayase character LOL. I didn't mean the misa hayase but the personality she has. I watched flashback 2012 yesterday and resurrected my impressions I had long time ago, not to mention the songs. One thing I hate most from it was Shoji Kawamori put some fan service particularly the naked minmay.

Up until now I still love to hear Tenshi no Enogu and Do You Remember Love by Mari Iijima. As a guy maybe I'm just too 'soft' being melancholy to these stuff, though I like rock music.

My first week on workplace

2010-02-26T17:47:00.003+08:00

I should never thought it as good as I've imagined before. I was accepted as management trainee at futures company last week and start training since then. At first it looked very promising. Not about the income, but what we're about to do. We're taught how to analyze market. At first it was very chalenging, but then after I saw people worked there and some bitter facts, I couldn't help but to think the opposite.

The girl whom just accepted was directly signing contract and work there, while others including me will have to take more training. Yet we're all the same: we all have no basic knowledge on stock market. You know why? Because she's rich and she drive a mercedes! Suddenly I realized from what I've known before: The owners are chinese! Gosh no wonder their fraternity bond are so strong! In addition, most analyst are chinese and they are rich! I felt so dead since then. I felt like being slammed onto the earth from the seventh heaven. I knew everything was too good to be true... To find investor it won't be just any guy who can convince one and make them join. If he/she has good relation especially with rich peoples then no wonder if he/she will succeed then. Sigh...

I'm distressed right now, don't know what to do. I have no idea what am I supposed to do. To me when I look at them I felt like watching the sky the I could never ever reach. I'm just an ordinary guy from ordinary family. Until now I still a bit shocked when I remember what happened yesterday. My friend resigend just when we about to have fingerprint. I could understand if she hardly beared the fact that the workplace has extremely different environment, the rich peoples environment. And then there's a girl who'd just entered training that day and she was told to have fingerprint in the same day. Can you imagine that? What the hell is going on? I thought all this time the company wanted a smart, good employee. But the fact made me think the opposite...

Even though the owners are highly known and respected in Indonesia, the fact I found out before just can't change anything. Should I resign too? Or do I have to see what will happen next? Really I have lost my spirit to work at my best. Now I can hardly trust the manager who'd trained me before. That from nothing you can be something. From zero to hero. Does that thing really exist?

Now I can only ask God, what should I do next. I couldn't find any way out to resolve this. I can't figure out any. I don't know what to do.

I remembered I was highly motivated that I would become a Safety officer after graduated. But after sending job applications here and there, I struggled with my belief. After that I was trying another kind of job and since most jobs are marketing, I took them. I was interviewed by two companies the first is photocopy machine and all-in-one printing machine company. It is main distributor of highly known brand printing machine. While other is the company I'm on now. I took this because there're greater chance to success than the first. But I think I was wrong. And now I don't what to do. I don't feel I'd like to come back to the first one though.

What's on my mind now, I can only pray that God will guide me thoroughly in my whole life. I really have no other place to run nor place to tell my grief lamentation but to Him.

Bad or good who knows what will happen tomorrow...

Weekend

2010-02-20T13:35:00.005+08:00

Today I opened my facebook and then I enter my alumni group forum. I'm pretty surprised that some of my friends - the girls is going to be married. Well actually I'm not bothered to feel encouraged to make a relationship with someone. But I think, we're all have grown up this old as if I felt that we're no longer young anymore. Man we're still 23 average but my friends are keep making impressions that they're desired and eagerly to get married soon especially the males.

I also noticed an invitation from my senior when we're at college back then, well for them I think it might not be so surprising since they have reached their age. And you know what, one them was my ex-g lol. I didn't feel any jealousy though, instead I felt the same way as I saw my friends who will get married soon. I saw we're no longer yung anymore. As if we've been told by God, "Hey you have played around enough, now it's time for you to move on as well". As now I feel as if I'm drifting in the outerspace looking at shiny supernova with colorful nebula. As if they are telling me to come beneath them. Ah, maybe that's the least thing I can describe for my feelings right now. I feel no hatred, jealousy nor even enviousity.

I remember when I've underestimated my college back then. Resulting into my low gpa score. I knew I'd passed this 5 years college half-heartedly. Most of my friends have gone work while I'm still stuck caused by my own demise. Being late for a year than my friends, somehow I felt so lonely as if I'm not even as good as them nor even better. I felt nothing compared to them... until now... When I saw them on facebook, somehow they looked so damn happy. I wonder when I could feel the same way for being happy. You reap what you sow, yeah, it's much more exactly the conclusion I may have now.

I don't want to be fulfilled with high pride right now as I often saw myself being higher and something more than everybody in the past. I found it as hindrance from changes into better person. I stopped making status in my fb as well. I stopped from making any statements orally or literally which states my current life. I wanted to prove to myself that I'm worth of something. Something that's worth for making me happy and being greatful that I have lived to the fullest. That I have fought my best. And I don't want anyone knows what I've done even it's success or failure. I want to live following my own accordance, not by taking standards from peoples surrounding me.

For now I think for myself I still have many things to learn. While I'm still young right now, I want to see more in this world as I'm still alive now. Somehow now I feel that I understand the meaning of existence as time goes by. As people we know changes, as our surrounding changes. I realize how precious each day we live and how precious we need to experience our lives to the fullest.

I know this blog is rarely to be visited by peoples, the reason why I typed all of my thoughts right now. This maybe one of my vestiges I may be reminded someday. When I'm still from the early start, when I'm still a big zero and I hope, someday, I won't be just a big zero.

My new deviant art site!

2010-02-17T03:11:00.007+08:00

Phew it's been a while since the last post. I had no mood back then to run this blog (actually I intended to learn how to monetize a blog XD). But anyway this time I wanted to make this blog really my personal blog instead thinking how to monetize it. Somehow I lost my mood when I think about monetizing.

Ah one more thing I also now own a deviant art site and I hope you guys take a visit and take a look on my gallery. It might not as good as skilled artists works but I take my own pride for making my own works ;)

Go to my deviant art site

Lirik Kokia - Hana Utage

2009-06-25T10:50:00.003+08:00

Somehow this' ridiculous, I like Kokia's songs, wth. Anyway in Kokia's album KOKIA infinity AKIKO ~ Balance, I like the first song, Hana Utage / 花宴 / Flower Banquet.

Hana Utage / 花宴 / Flower Banquet

ぼんやり眺める春うらうら　うす桃色の風が光る

Bonyari nagameru haru ura ura, usumomoiro no kaze ga hikaru

Staring blankly all over spring, shining light-pink colored wind

遠くに見えて山も笑い　春告げ鳥の美しい声

tooku ni miete yama mo warai, haru tsuge tori no utsukushii koe

watching afar, the mountain is laughing too, spring bird's beautiful voice

この国は　花を愛で　春をことほぐ

Kono kuni wa hana wo ai de haru kotohogu

this land is, where flowers loving, congratulating the spring

季節と　共に生きる　日本の人　はらりはらりと花の宴

Kisetsu to tomo ni ikiru nihon no hito harari harari to hana no en

Living along with the seasons, japanese people, harari harari and flower banquet

一〇〇年樹齢の見事な幹　しっかり大地に根を下ろして

Hyaku nen jyurei no migoto na miki, shikkari daichi ni ne wo oroshite

Magnificent branches of a hundred years aged tree, deep roots holding firmly on the earth

張り巡らされた　枝が天を仰いでいる様に　手を伸ばして

harimegurasareta eda ga ten wo aoideiru you ni te wo nobashite

stretching around, as if the twigs facing up at the sky, stretching up arms

おかえり　いつでも　帰りを　待つ

Okaeri itsudemo kaeri wo matsu

Welcome home, as always, waiting for return

人　川　山　谷　夢　かわりゆこうとも

hito kawa yama tani yume kawariyukou to mo

the people, the river, the mountain, the valley, the dream, let's change too

かわらない心　花の宴

kawaranai kokoro hana no en

unchanging heart, flower banquet

舞い散る花びら　吹雪いて　季節は巡る

maichiru hanabira fubuite kisetsu wa meguru

dancing around fireworks, snows violently blown, the seasons rolls

この国は　花を愛で　春をことほぐ

Kono kuni wa hana wo ai de haru kotohogu

This land, where flowers loving, congratulating the spring

季節と　共に生きる　日本の人

kisetsu to tomo ni ikiru nihon no hito

Living along with the seasons, japanese people

おかえり　いつでも　帰りを　待つ

okaeri itsudemo kaeri wo matsu

welcome home, as always, waiting for return

人　川　山　谷　夢　かわりゆこうとも

hito kawa yama tani yume kawariyukou to mo

the people, the river, the mountain, the valley, the dream, let's change too

かわらない心　花の宴

kawaranai kokoro hana no en

unchanging heart, flower banquet

花の宴　ぼんやり眺める　春うらうら

Hana no en bonyari nagameru haru uraura

Flower banquet, staring blankly all over spring

And if you wanted the song, please yourself by listening to it and one more thing, I 'aint own the songs.

*Since I transliterated and translated it all by myself, there's great possibility to be mistaken, ever since I 'aint japanese.

Bahasa Jepang?

2009-05-24T20:29:00.001+08:00

Yap, kali ini tentang bahasa jepang, sayang kalo ada ilmu tapi ga dipraktekkan hehehe ;) ilmu hasil kursus tahun lalu dan sudah luntur seiring waktu dan jarang dipake. Pada dasarnya, bahasa jepang secara struktural menggunakan prinsip kalimat Subyek Keterangan Obyek Predikat, lain dengan bahasa kita yang menggunakan prinsip SPOK, jadi kuncinya predikat selalu pada akhir kalimat. Dalam fungsinya ada beberapa kata bantu yang tidak memiliki arti tersendiri namun membentuk makna kalimat.

Misal :

-Aizawa wa daigakusei desu.

--Aizawa adalah seorang mahasiswa.

Dari kalimat diatas mudahnya "wa" diartikan sebagai "adalah", namun "desu" tidak dapat dan tidak memiliki arti tersendiri, namun ia adalah predikat dan menentukan makna kalimat-dalam kasus ini bermakna positif, Ok lanjut~

-Mikoto wa kotoshi daigaku ni hairimasu.

--Mikoto tahun ini masuk universitas.

Contoh tersebut melanjutkan penjelasan di awal, namun di sini dapat dilihat predikat diisi dengan kata kerja "ni" berfungsi menjelaskan "masuk universitas" secara harfiah berarti "di" menunjukkan tempat.

-Rei mo kenkyuusha desu ka?

-- Rei juga seorang peneliti?

Cukup dengan menambahkan "ka" pada akhir kalimat untuk menjadi kalimat tanya. Jika pada bahasa inggris kita mengenal "to be" maka pada bahasa Jepang pun ada yang berfungsi hampir sama, seperti halnya "wa" pada contoh-contoh sebelumnya, "mo" yang berarti "juga" memiliki fungsi yang sama.

-Boku no chichi wa kinou kaisha wo yamemashita.

--Kemarin ayahku berhenti dari perusahaan tempat ia bekerja.

Perhatikan bahwa predikat yang biasanya berakhiran -masu menjadi -mashita. Tahu kenapa? Yap, kalimatnya berbentuk lampau. Gampang kan? Pehatikan juga jika belum paham "boku no chichi di sini merupakan satu frase yang berarti "ayah saya" dan menempati posisi subyek. Ingat juga bahwa prinsip SKOP, setelah subyek ada keterangan, di kalimat di atas ada keterangan waktu, baru kemudian diikuti obyek yaitu "kaisha" dan predikat "yamemashita". "Wo" merupakan kopula atau kata sambung secara gramatikal memiliki fungsi yang sama seperti "ni" sebelumnya, yang berfungsi menujukan makna pada obyek.

Dalam penggunaan "wo" dan "ni" ada beberapa pengecualian khusus dimana ada predikat-predikat yang hanya bisa menggunakan "ni" dan tidak "wo".

Vocab :

Daigakusei : Mahasiswa

Daigaku : Universitas

Kenkyuusha : Peneliti

Kaisha : Perusahaan

Hairimasu : Masuk

Yamemasu (Yamemashita) : Berhenti, keluar

Chichi : Ayah

Kinou : Kemarin

Kotoshi : Tahun ini

Just this for now, I'll write some more, hopefully useful people :)

The first post

2009-05-24T20:23:00.001+08:00

Alright the first post, thank god I can make one :D So let's start to post another one while we still can :)