NitroBlitz.com: Futuristic Stupidity

Hot Chick Of The Day: Auksma

2013-06-12T21:12:00.001-07:00

Check out today's foreign import.... Auksma!

Hot Chick Of The Day: Amy Lynn Bach

2013-06-11T18:38:00.000-07:00

COUGAR ALERT. Check out today's HCOTD, Amy Lynn Bach!

Metamoris 3- Eddie Bravo vs. Royler Gracie 2

2013-06-10T05:16:00.001-07:00

So immediately after seeing Brendan Schaub run away from Cyborg for 20 minutes, the folks running Metamoris needed to win back the crowd.... QUICKLY. So instead of waiting until AFTER the intermission, they decided to immediately announce the Headliner for Metamoris 3, Royler Gracie vs. Eddie Bravo (needless to say it won the crowd over tenfold.)

For those of you that don't know the story, in 2003, Eddie Bravo and Royler Gracie fought at Abu Dhabi. Royler Gracie was winning the match on points, but with thirty seconds left in the match Bravo caught Gracie with a triangle choke (It was the first time that Royler had been submitted in competition to someone his size.)

For ten years, Eddie has Lobbying to get a rematch with Royler to prove that he didn't get lucky. At Metamoris 3 the rematch will be here. Needless to say... I'll be there for this one.

Schaub: A Surprising Underdog

2013-06-08T00:49:00.000-07:00

I go through a lot of the message boards and once upon a time, I was shocked at the pure ignorance of some of its users. The mass majority feel that this coming Sunday at Metamoris, UFC Heavyweight Brendan Schaub is going to get destroyed when he takes on Roberto “Cyborg” Abreu at Metamoris 2. I find myself in shock that people are overlooking the two key human aspects of this match-up.

#1- Brendan Schaub is a freaking MACHINE. If you pay close attention to the above trailer, at one point you will see him repping 315lbs on bench press. You'll also see that he is a legit brown belt under Rener and Ryron Gracie. In short, we are talking about a skilled practitioner with the strength to do some serious damage.

#2- All of Cyborg's training was filed under "Rehabilitation"... as he is RECOVERING FROM AN INJURY. Cyborg will not be 100% stepping on the mat!

Now, I might be dead wrong here, but I think that Brendan Schaub is going to have the edge of Cyborg.

Hot Chick Of The Day: Chanon Rosefelt

2013-06-07T20:21:00.000-07:00

Check out today's Hottie.... Chanon Rosefelt!

links:
Twitter: @chanon
Instagram: @chan0n
Tumblr: chanonrf.tumblr.com
Facebook page: www.facebook.com/pages/Chanon-Rosefelt- … 1767895143

Chael Sonnen: Trash Talk Specialist, Fighter, Company Man!

2013-06-06T20:14:00.002-07:00

Whether you think that Chael Sonnen belongs in the UFC (after two not-so-great performances) or not, one thing that I think that we can all agree upon, is the fact that Chael is always willing to step-up as a last minute replacement, when no one else is quite up for the task. This is the prime example of why we have seen in the Octagon fighting for UFC Gold on 3 separate occasions and if he defeats Shogun on August 1st, I wouldn't be the least surprise to see him get one more title shot against Jon "Bones" Jones.

There are a lot of talented fighters in the UFC Locker Room (it's the NFL of MMA for Christ's Sake), but where a lot of these guys fall short, is the fact that they don't have any screen presence/personality. Their promos all blend together with the same humdrum answers, "I've got a lot of respect for (Insert Opponent's Name), but I'm gonna go after him"... or whatever unmemorable answer that they leave with us.

Chael Sonnen's Promos are almost always more entertaining then the actual fight, but in every fight he always goes right after his opponents, with his Dirty Boxing/Wrestling, he always sets a relentless pace for his opponents.

Long story short... We Salute Chael Sonnen for being "The American Gangster".

Hot Chick Of The Day: Chronic Candy

2013-06-06T19:41:00.003-07:00

Another Cutie from Canada... Eh :) Check out Chronic Candy!

Hot Chick Of The Day: Melody Quan

2013-06-05T23:39:00.002-07:00

By this time you should all know my slogan in life... "If it's yellow.... it's mellow :) " Check out today's Hottie, Melody Quan

Be sure to check out her links:
www.twitter.com/realmelodyquan
www.facebook.com/officialmelodyquan
www.melodyquan.com

Hot Chick Of The Day: Angel Holly

2013-06-05T00:15:00.002-07:00

Check out today's returning hottie, Angel Holly!

(True) Low Budget Film Making: Part 4- Recruiting your army (I.E. Hiring Crew)

2013-06-02T22:56:00.002-07:00

I just want you guys to do the math real quick... you are planning on shooting a Feature Length Film for $10k or under... this means that you are probably going to have to hire some people to work for free. This means that right off the rip, the project is going to lack a certain level of quality, also you're going to encounter multiple headaches... I'm here to guide you through so that you can keep SOME of your sanity after completing production on your first feature. Before I tell you the characteristics of who NOT to hire, you first need to know WHO to hire.

The KEY Roles on a Film Set!

DIRECTOR- They don't just call ACTION/CUT (well some do), they basically tell your actors how they want the lines to be read, and they also work with the Director Of Photography (DP for short) to see work out what types of shots that they want to get. THEY ALSO MAKE SURE THAT YOUR SOUND GUY IS ACTUALLY GETTING THE AUDIO... saving you money on ADR (additional dialogue recording... its a pain the the ass.)

DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY (DP)- This is the guy behind the camera, that makes sure that your audience can SEE the film. Sometimes they make visually stunning shots, sometimes they show upto set late because they were up all night doing drugs... and decided to keep the camera with them that way no one could shoot without him... CAUTIONARY TALE TO COME.

SOUND GUY/BOOM OP- NOTHING and I mean nothing will fuck up your day like BAD AUDIO. I will preach on multiple fronts on being frugal (because 10k can go QUICK), but SOUND is one of those things that you HAVE TO PAY FOR... getting a PA to hold a boom won't cut it. But with sound guys you HAVE TO STAY ON THEM and make sure that they get the sound.

EDITOR- These guys put the pieces of the puzzle together to lower the shittyness of your movie by the highest margin possible. You won't need to hire someone until after the completion of the film, however I have known people who on a daily basis gave an editor their daily footage... and once they finished filming, there was already a rough cut of the film put together.... It's not a bad idea.

GAFFER- This is the person who handles the lighting, which is imperative to getting good shots. But they also monitor the power usage so no one gets their circuits blown out :)

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR- They are responsible for scheduling the call sheets as well as being the pain in the ass on the set (in a good way). They make sure that everything keeps running ON TIME, their job is to pester people into doing their job! Probably the most important NON-TECHNICAL job on a film set.

SECONDARY CREW POSITIONS

2nd Unit Camera Operator- If you find yourself with more than one camera, it is a good idea to have someone there to hit the red button on action and cut.

MAKE-UP ARIST- If your film requires make-up effects (such as Zombie Movies and things of that nature), then this should be someone that you hire first. I personally think that this is a luxury item, but if you know a cosmetology student willing to work for free and wants experience... let her come and make your actors look pretty.

SCRIPT SUPERVISOR- If something in the script changes on set, then you are going to need to keep track of it.... The script supervisor is there to make sure that all of the lines are hit and any line changes are documented.

WARDROBE- Unless your movie calls for this, I recommend just having actors bring in their own clothes and leave them with a production assistant. However, if you are shooting a World War 2 movie, then it is a good idea to hire someone with access to such things.

PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS/INTERNS/GRIPS- These are the people that do all the minor jobs on set, they do pick-ups/deliveries, and many of the other little things on a set. Better them then you. 1 Craigslist ad and you are bound to get 2-3 people to do these jobs.

IDENTIFYING TUMORS

Tumors are nasty/disgusting parasites that suck the life out of everything connected to them. Tumor, is the term that I used to describe a DP that I downright loathed on three separate occasions (that is a full blog series in itself). Anyways, different people have different names for douchebags on set... but I like to call them tumors... when you identify one you CUT IT OUT, before it kills your production.

CHARACTERISTICS OF A TUMOR

D Level Player that over compensates by pretending they are B+/A Level- A Tumor is typically on your set because they are trying to move up in the world. Typically they have been a PA or Grip on a Studio Film and feel that they should be treated like the DP or AD that treated them like their bitch for the 8-12 weeks that they were on set. Instead of treating their upgraded role as a DP/Gaffer (or any other position of authority) as an opportunity... they treat it as a way to act like a complete DIVA. They feel that you project is below them and I've heard one of these pricks have the balls to say "I'm the only professional on set" and even though your set will more than likely be non-union, they will flash their Union Card and act like the shit. In reality they are trying to overcompensate for the fact that they are just as low on the pecking board.

"You know on a real film set.... INSERT RESOURCE THAT ONLY A STUDIO MOVIE CAN AFFORD"- The fact of the matter is you only have $10k, so unless you have resources up the ass willing to give you millions of dollars in free stuff, there are going to be a lot of luxuries that you can't afford... this is just a fact. A TUMOR will complain about everything because it doesn't match up with experience when he was lugging lights for "The Avengers". If you identify a Tumor disrespecting your film set, clip the cancer... IMMEDIATELY!

TUMORS SHOW UP WHEN THEY WANT- A Tumor will be the last one there and the first one to leave... they typically have something to leverage so that you don't just fire their ass... It's typically a DP that owns the camera.

PAID TUMORS BRAG TO YOUR NON-PAID CAST/CREW- Tumors tend to be DP's/Sound Guys (not trying to rag on these people, some of my best friends are DP's and Sound Mixers), most of the time you will hire a DP/Sound Mixer because they own the equipment, which in turn saves you money on equipment rental... so most of the time your not paying for their service, you are paying for the gear, and they just happen to come with it. Tumors will typically tell themselves that they are being paid because "They are so talented..." and they will tend to brag to your NON-PAID Crew, which is going to GREAT for Moral. LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE, if you encounter a fuck head putting down one of your hard-working non-paid Cast/Crew Member, CLIP THE PRICK!

"CAN I USE A FAKE NAME, I DON'T WANT THIS TO HURT MY CAREER" Not that them using a fake name will having any effect on the film or yourself... but they will put that energy in the atmosphere... creating an environment where your cast/crew might start to believe that them being there is hurting their careers... and there you have the story of Tetherball. Do yourself and have the "If you think that being in my film will hurt your career, then don't show up to work" attitude.

There are far more characteristics that identify tumors, however I want to cut it off at 5... before I start punching holes in my wall :) Tumors are sometimes hard to identify due to the fact that like most people, they will hide their inner flaws during the interview process. Even if you don't have room in your budget to pay the crew, I highly recommend having an interview process for your Key Crew Members! For Post-Tetherball Endeavors, I have implemented the following process:

1. I don't offer the position, I offer INTERVIEWS for the position. Take two teenagers, give one of them a new Ferrari, and then make the other one work two jobs to save up for a used Pinto... I GUARANTEE that nine times out of ten, the teenager who worked 1,000 hours for a lime green Pinto will appreciate the car more, then the rich punk with a Ferrari. Reason being? It's human nature that you appreciate things more when you have to work for them!

The same thing can be said about a position on your shit movie... if you make them go through an interview, and you pick them, they will feel like they have ACCOMPLISHED something in being hired... as opposed to being burdened.

2. LAY OUT ALL OF THE PAINFUL DETAILS AS WELL AS YOUR EXPECTATIONS! When making a film... don't sugar coat ANYTHING. It is a brutal process, in which you are going to invest 1,000's of hours, just so that you can give the world 90 minutes of dog shit. Tell them about the long hours, no pay, mediocre (at best food.).... let them know what you will not tolerate on set, tell them that all pay information is CONFIDENTIAL, have in writing that if they are fired their credit will be downgraded, set up repercussions for laziness!

3. TRUST YOUR GUT! If for some reason you have a distinct gut feeling that someone is not right for the job or that their personality is just not the right fit for you to work with.... THEN DON'T HIRE THEM.

Congratulations, I have just saved you (if you have chosen to listen to my advice) quite a few head aches... I believe that it is time for you to show your appreciation and buy one of our shirts from the online store!

Hot Chick Of The Day: Nicole Taylorr

2013-06-01T13:02:00.001-07:00

Check out today's Hot Chick Of The Day... Nicole Taylorr!

(True) Low Budget Filmmaking- Part 3- Raising Funds/Art Of Prostitution!

2013-06-01T01:04:00.001-07:00

In Part 1 and Part 2 of this series, I have said the term YOU'RE A BUSINESSMAN FIRST AND AN ARTIST SECOND ... well I haven't been entirely truthful with you, actually... you are a Businessman First, a WHORE second, and an artist/film maker third. Getting your 90 minute straight-to-internet masterpiece written is only just the beginning of your journey, now that it is complete... now you need to get the budget in play for you to shoot the fucker.

This is the part that typically kills the average "film-student"... getting requires you to go through a magnitude of abusive pimps before you find your prince charming (remember the whore thing?) To warn you right now, you are going to run into A LOT of the following.

#1. Bullshit Artists- People that say that they or their "rich friends' will be very happy to finance the film, but they either won't have the money, or the intention of actually backing your film. They just simply like the attention of feeling like the hero.

#2. REJECTION- If you are a first time filmmaker, which you probably are.... I just want you to imagine the idea of you going to NASA, being someone that has never built a ship, ask for funding to build a Death Star. Not saying it can't/won't happen, but the odds are pretty unlikely.

#3. FALL OUTS- If you talk to enough filmmakers, you are bound to here the "We were in pre-production, but the funding fell through"... 30% of the time these are just Bullshit Artists... but the other 70% is true. People get COLD FEET, even if you are upfront with them in the beginning, about how big of a risk investing on an independent film is, the typical response is "I've always wanted to be apart of a film." All is well, until the day they have to sign the check and all of those warnings play into their head. IT Happens! Tetherball was originally set to have a $20k Budget, by the time production started... we were down to $8k!

THINGS YOU NEED BEFORE APPROACHING HUMAN BEINGS

#1- Get your Copyrights together.... No real reason, you're just going to need them for distributors.

#2- Build a website for either your Film Production Company or Your Film... or both. A .Com can run as little as $1 and there are plenty of free webbased tools out there (Wix, Blogger, Wordpress, Weebly). Make sure that it has passable graphics, Logos, cover art, etc... you can get most of this done one Fiverr for $5 a logo (notice the logo on the top right hand corner of this page... wink...wink)

#3- Get an IMDB Page! If you're not on IMDB, you're not official... says everyone with an Internet Machine. The easiest way to get an IMDB Page is to do the following.

- Produce a short film with some friends, this will be great practice... on both the producing front, writing front, and even the directing/acting front.

- Quickly edit together the film and get it ready for submission.

- Submit the Short Film to a cheap film festival over at Without-A-Box (IMDB's sister site)

- 2-4 weeks after you Submit your film... you will receive an IMDB Page. It'll be for a shitty short film... but atleast it shows SOME experience. Also, god forbid that your Short Film wins an award, you are officially an Award Winning Producer... BOOM!

#4- Run a Google Search on Yourself. Look through the first three pages that pop-up in the results of both the web searches and images. If you see anything that could turn off a potential investor/advertiser/donator then you need to clip it off the net (if there is something you can do about it). Drunken pics with your frat buddies might give you a couple of chuckles, but you won't get any money out of it!

ATTACHING NAME TALENT

In both PART 1 and PART 2 I mentioned that one of the biggest sellers is having Name Talent in your film. Now let's be honest, you're more than likely not going to get Brad Pitt or Emma Watson in your movie, however there is a good chance that you can get C/D List Actors in your film for a decent price.

HOW TO DO IT

I am extremely grateful that I made a film during the age of the Internet... and I must say that IMDBPro is an amazing must have tool, when you are trying to get agent/management information for name actors.

*Note- At this stage you are trying to obtain an LOI (Letter Of Intent), what this states, is that if you are able to raise the budget... i.e. enough money to pay them. They will act in your film. It also states in that prior to that, you can use their name/likeness on promotional materials to make money.

#1- First off, you need to get a membership to IMDB PRO.

#2- You need to make a list of 10-20 D Listers to reach out to.

#3- Get the agent information on all of the actors, get their email addresses (I wouldn't bother calling them up on the phone)

#4- Email the agents... tell them the name of the project, a quick logline, and how much you are willing to pay the actor (this is the only thing they will really care about)... when it comes to money, I suggest starting off low. The golden rule is that you can always raise your offer, but you can never take it away.

CAUTIONARY TALE #1 (decided to add these in for your sake)- First off, I am not telling this story to bash on anyone, I'm just telling you guys this just so you keep this in mind. LOI's are a great tool to help you achieve funding... but let's say that you get D-LISTER to sign an LOI and an Investor and/or Advertiser decides to give you money BASED ON THE ATTENDANCE OF THAT ACTOR. If the actor decides to drop out, there is a good chance that the investor will pull out as well!

Ron Jeremy was very great in the film, however he was actually the ALTERNATE, who I feel did 10x better then the original person cast could have done. The Original actor is somebody that I worked for, for nearly 2 years... in that time, I worked for next to no money, and lost countless friendships and REAL OPPORTUNITIES. This was the original actor's way to repay me... by the way, I want to mention that he wasn't doing well financially and begged me for the job... I didn't want to hire him, but I decided to anyways.

Long story short, he cancelled on us TWICE... we had plane tickets for him... but he decided that instead of showing up and making himself a much needed $2500 for 4-6 hours of work... he decided to go on a COCAINE BINGE INSTEAD. When two of the advertisers in the film found out that Andy Dick didn't make the flight out... they decided to back out, and Ron Jeremy (despite him being a bigger name with a better reputation) wasn't enough to change their minds. This ended up costing us $12k along with $700 for the two plane tickets.

$12.7k leaving us with $7300... Two lessons that I learned that day, there is a reason why you hardly ever see Andy Dick on TV or in Movies anymore. Also, you should use Celebrities as A selling point not THE selling point... because fallouts happen!

OBTAINING AN LOI FOR DISTRIBUTION

This can sometime be more valuable then an LOI from an actor, this is primarily due to the fact that, the Investor/Advertiser knows that the film will get some type of release, meaning that it will get some time of exposure/revenue. However, for a first time filmmaker, you probably won't get one of these.... however if you get 2 celebrities put together that appeal to a distribution company... they might just give you a chance.

* An LOI gets you NO FUNDING from the distribution company, it simply states that if you bring them a film that they find acceptable... they will distribute the film.

PUTTING TOGETHER A PROPOSAL

"I have this script for a movie, can I get some money?" Unfortunately isn't going to get you very far, even if they are only going to be investing $5k-$10k, people are going to want to know the following information:

- Title Of The Film
- Genre
- Target Audience
- Attached Names
- Attached Crew
- How You Plan To Make Them Money
- Perks You Are Offering
- How much money your asking for

It is also a great idea to include lots of pictures, you need to consult the graphic designers over at Fiverr!

Once you have a proposal put together, I recommend that you start getting it out.

ADVERTISERS VS. INVESTORS

Advertisers give you money in exchange for you to put their product or mention your company name in the film. The appealing part to Filmmakers is the fact that they get money without having to worry about paying any back. Tetherball was fully funded by Advertisers (watch it again... and see for yourself).

Investors will typically give you more money, however here is something to keep in mind.
Let's say that an investor gives you $10k and the film gets distributed.
The investor is entitled to the first $10k that the film receives, plus 50% of whatever the film profits from that point on. From my perspective (since its such a low budget), I think that Advertisers are the way to go!

CROWD FUNDING

When Kickstarter first starter first hit the atmosphere, they had a very long application process... so if you wanted to get your film financed, you better have a QUALITY PROSPECTIVE PROJECT. Now the landscape has changed, there has to be about 5-6 crowd funding websites that every Tom, Dick, and Harry use. I'm not a fan, but I have heard success stories.

It's late, I know that I'm missing something, but you'll have to wait until tomorrow :) Have a nice night fuckers and I'll be back with more info tomorrow.

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Hot Chick Of The Day: Tiffany Ann

2013-05-31T18:53:00.001-07:00

Check out today's Hot Chick Of The Day... Tiffany Ann.

Check out her links:
https://www.facebook.com/modelmisstiffany
modelmayhem.com/misstiffany
modeltiffany.com

In case you missed her... Check out the Hot Chick Of The Month... Ashley Alexiss!

Want to express your love for Hot Chicks and Combat... then get one of our awesome T-shirts!

Also, the Nitroblitz.com App is now available for the ANDROID! Get it today!!!

(True) Low Budget Filmmaking: Part 2- Writing and The Power Of Low Expectations!

2013-05-30T23:13:00.001-07:00

Prior to the construction phase, every building starts out with a blue print, changes to the building will be inevitably made, however the actual structure/base typically stays the same. When someone builds a house, the exterior is going to have the same shell, but changes will be made to the kitchen, backyard, etc. Making a film is NO DIFFERENT, you will write a film one way, but it will end up a completely different way. But I am getting far ahead of myself.... this was all just one cliche metaphor on how the script to a film is the equivalent to the Blue Print of a Building/House... DUH.

The Write Tools :)

I highly recommend getting the following tools, it pretty much pre-formats the script for you, that way the only thing you need to focus on is cranking out 80-100 pages of pure shit (that you will tell yourself is the road map to the greatest comedy ever made.... sorry folks, just some Tetherball flash-backs.)

Final Draft ($250)- It pre-formats your script and it also gives you the option to Register your script with the WGA (for $20) upon completion! (Most distributors WILL ASK that you supply a copy of your script and film copyright)

Celtx (FREE!!!)- This is the option that most of your will probably take... and I don't blame you, it is a great software program, that I have personally used since I was 15 years old!

Movie Magic ($59+)- I have never actually used this program, but I have heard great things! If it's within your budget, go ahead and give it a shot :)

THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND BEFORE WRITING

#1- Like I said in Part 1, you are a businessman first... and an artist second.

#2- Remember that every location is another set-up that your crew has to do... setting up takes time, which costs money. Also each location brings on a new problem... we'll discuss that later! Keeping the film UNDER 7 locations is the way to go.

#3- Shooting Exterior/Outdoor scenes is a pain in the ass! You have to deal with noise issues, which makes audio a complete nightmare. I recommend (from experience) that you should make all outdoor scenes shot WITHOUT DIALOGUE as much as humanly possible.

#4- Write-in 2+ Characters that can be played by celebrities... that you can shoot IN ONE DAY! Have these characters spread out through 4-6 scenes in a movie, TRUST ME... this is what SELLS movies!

#5- If you have access to Fancy Locations, High End Cars, or extravagant things that you KNOW FOR A FACT that you can get in the movie (without having to pay for)... PUT THEM IN... its production value that doesn't cost you anything.

#6- WRITE TRANSITIONS INTO THE SCRIPT... the problem with Tetherball (one of them anyways) was the fact that we really didn't shoot any transitions, this became a massive problem during post. We ended up having to call upon animators from Newgrounds.com to throw us some animations, plus we had to scrounge around town to get some exterior shots. If you write it down, you have a 95% chance that it will get shot.

#7- Boobs are universally awesome... and they sell movies! See-Through Lingerie and a Vida Guerra Quality Ass is also acceptable :)

GENRES THAT HAVE THE HIGHEST SUCCESS RATE

I'm not trying to be a dream crusher... make the movies that you want to make! But, if you are aiming towards making a film that puts you in the win column, the following movies have the best track record towards success. The reason being is that these 3 genres have a built in fan base that is constantly looking for another movie to grab onto.

Sports Comedies (Go Figure)
Famiy/Holiday Movies
Horror Movies

Plot Structure

If you are one of the twelve people that managed to sit through all 90 minutes of Tetherball, you will notice that we did use the classic three act structure (Beginning/Middle/End).

BEGINNING- We show our four main characters (who work for the same telemarketing company) as flawed individuals all with their own personal demons.

Zach Smith- Was 2 weeks away from his pro debut in boxing, but his career was cut short during a brutal knockout in the opening 2 minutes of the film. He has given up on life

Alex Foster- Your typical burn-out stoner, who is the type of guy to leave his friend behind in order to get laid. He also has 9 kids, all from different mothers, and he is a furvert (he likes to fuck girls dressed like animals).

Mike Piper- Is an Alcoholic and morbidly obese.

Joe Piper- Portrayed by Brian Titus (the best performance in the entire film), is in every way... More well off then the other three. He has a higher level job (he's their supervisor), he has a smokin hot wife, and seemingly has his shit together.... he just doesn't have the acceptance of any human being in his life.

After the back story of each character is brushed upon... We see these characters hit a low-point in their lives as Zach Smith wakes up in a public park, hung over... While Alex and Mike are playing Tetherball. While playing, they remember a life that didn't quite suck... and start an obsession over the sport.

MIDDLE- Since I have always found the "Love Interest" as a necessary evil, I decided to not introduce Sara until ACT 2... But anyways... In Act 2, the gang shows up to work in the clothes that they wore from the night before, and they wind up playing a catch game with some of the other guys from the office. Long story short, they turn the game of Tetherball into an internet sensation and catch the eyes of sports mogul Jack White (played by Ron Jeremy) and his son Vince White (Played by Johnny Lechner, name inspired by Vince McMahon and Dana White... don't you love subtext?)

Anyways, Jack White reluctantly decides to financially back the sport of Tetherball, and let his son Vince manage it. But, like any good twist... we reveal both characters as being Bi-Sexual and they have an underlying bet to see which one can get Zach Smith to blow them first.

So, to keep this brief and not to give too much of the movie away (like any of you were actually planning on seeing it anyways.) The crew gets famous... only to learn that the other Tetherball teams that they were playing, weren't quite "Pro Material"... it was just a ploy to get "The Foul Mouths" (named after our Main Sponsor of the film Foul Mouth Shirts) famous, so that Jack White could try to get Zach to suck his penis in exchange for a Five Year Contract for a some of money that would make it so that he would never have to work another day in his life. Zach refuses... so Jack switches the players in the opposing teams with guys who can ACTUALLY Play and this leads to them getting destroyed for their next 3 games. Zach announces his retirement and quits the team.

END- Sara takes him to his parents house against Zach's will. Zach and his dad get into a fight (which involves some nut slapping/punching) and then reconcile their relationship (the best way that they can.) Zach goes back... gets the team together and they make it to the final's.

Jack White cancels the final game, leading Zach to go down to Jack White's office. Zach storms in and yells at Jack... the two come to an agreement that if Zach wins the final game, he will own the Tetherball League... but if he loses.... he will have to pay the ultimate price........ get turned into a Chinese Finger Trap.

With the game tied, Zach let's Joe Piper (the team outcast) play in his place... and be the sports hero and Zach doesn't have to blow anybody.

So, in the beginning we establish our team of underachievers... in the middle we show them get famous, only to have everything ripped away... and in the end, they come together and ACHIEVE something :)

Your film doesn't have to follow these guidelines, but if the three act plot structure was good enough for Shakespeare then it should be good enough for you. Just remember these simple rules:

Beginning: Introduction of Characters
Introduction of Conflict.

Middle: Conflict rises to the boiling point.
Resolution

IN CONCLUSION

Follow the 6 guidelines that I gave you :) Write out 90 pages and be sure to write 2 re-writes minimum and give it a beginning, middle, and an end! This will be your roadmap to mediocrity :)

Check out Part 3

Since I am saving you $50k on Film School and giving you decent information (that I wish someone would have given me) FOR FREE... you should buy some of our shit to make it up to me :)

The Nitroblitz.com App is now available for the ANDROID! GET IT TODAY!

Hot Chick Of The Day: Trish Richardson

2013-05-30T18:40:00.002-07:00

Check out today's HCOTD... Trish Richardson (hubba hubba!)

(True) Low Budget Filmmaking: Part 1- Hedging Your Bets

2013-05-30T01:04:00.001-07:00

Late last year, my feature length film "Tetherball" was released into the atmosphere... I haven't seen a single dollar out of any of the sales, instead I have seen countless synopsis's for unsolicited screenplays, and a bunch of emails from people wanting me to HELP them make a movie.

By help... they want me to take their "Brilliant Idea" for a movie, turn that into a screenplay, find the budget, produce the film... and get it released. We live in a society that wants to reap the fruits of hard labor... but they don't actually want to do the labor. Instead of telling these "Spielberg's In The Making" the actual process of making a feature length film, I just ask them to turn their idea into a 90 page script.... and it never gets brought up again.

The scripts that I do receive are typically from Film School Students that are taught that $300k is a small budget... "Fuck with $300k, I could get 4 A/B-List Actors in my film!" I think to myself as I stifle my laughter at some of these ideas. What most people fail to realize is the fact that when you are watching a film... everything you see on the screen COSTS MONEY (but we'll get to that later).

I'm not trying to come off as complacent, I am extremely proud of my shit movie... and the fact that not only we got it to completion... but we found a home for it through Phase 4 Films. The three proudest moments in my life were when...

#1- My Fiance said yes to me.

#2- I got my BJJ Blue Belt.

#3- The day I logged onto Xbox Live and Saw Tetherball right next to "21 Jump Street" (A High Budget/Highly Entertaining Film... that I actually thought was 1,000,000x better than Tetherball could ever be).

It's very funny to me... that I was able to bamboozle my film (that only had an $8k budget) onto every major digital platform... it's very simple and anyone can do it!

First off... a film is sold (typically) based off of three things, the actors attached to the film, the poster, and the trailer.

ATTACHING NAME TALENT

Now, for argument's sake... I am going to pretend that all of you are trying to make a feature length film for under $10k. It is very difficult, but very do-able. Now a C/D Level Celebrity can run you anywhere from $1k-$2.5k per day... have them on set for more 2-3 days and that will take up most of your budget. So what do you do? You need to get them in the film for an acceptable amount of time to put them on the box cover, without anyone feeling too badly ripped off?

Hire the name actor for 1 day... that's right.... ONE DAY. But shoot multiple scenes with them, in the SAME LOCATION... but spread those scenes throughout the movie. This was how we were able to get Ron Jeremy and Dustin Diamond in and out... in under 6 hours each!

How did we go about getting them attached??? That will be explained in a future segment :)

THE POSTER

Having Actors Attached is the start to this because you are able to put their names on the poster... which is a lure. But what you also need is a poster that makes your film LOOK LIKE a Big Budget Film... which will typically cost you $100 from a graphic artist, but it is TOTALLY WORTH IT!

THE TRAILER

We'll get to this one in a later segment :) (but enjoy the trailer to Tetherball Below)

So why did I tell you the selling points, without giving you too many details on actually making a film? What I just gave you, PART of the formula to success... and I want you to etch the following ideas into your brain:

#1- Your first movie is not TYPICALLY going to make you famous, its just something to put on your report card. With each film that you get DISTRIBUTED... makes you more valuable as a Producer! The more valuable you are as a producer, the more value you will have to your next movie.... if you survive your first one that is (I almost didn't).

#2- Be as creative as your want, but you need to have a plan that is geared towards SELLING... if you have Name Talent, A great poster, a good trailer... then you are ALMOST guaranteed to get some sort of distribution.

When you are a Film Maker... YOU ARE A BUSINESSMAN FIRST and an Artist Second! Every day I will be writing a new segment to teach you fuckers how to make a true low budget film... stay tuned :)

Let's Move On To Part 2 :)

Hot Chick Of The Day: Michelle Lewin

2013-05-29T21:46:00.000-07:00

Check out today's HCOTD.... Michelle Lewin!

Check out some of her links:
http://modelmichelle.com
http://facebook.com/fitnessmichelle

Call Of Duty: Black Ops 2 (Verdict... Play It!)

2013-05-29T00:29:00.001-07:00

This may come as a shocker to the Nitroblitz Universe, but I'm not actually a fan of First Person Shooters (with the exception of the Halo Series)... but I have to say that I was very impressed with COD: Black Ops 2, it featured a great story line, new innovations (that make you feel like you are actually inside the game), and a couple of awesome twists that makes you feel like your heart is about to skip a few beats.

I highly recommend that if you haven't played it yet, that you go out and get yourself a copy!

Also we're close to going MOBILE!!! Check out a preview of the new Nitroblitz.com App!

Hot Chick Of The Day: Leela Murray

2013-05-28T21:25:00.001-07:00

Check out today's HCOTD... Leela Murray!

Check out her links!
http://www.modelmayhem.com/2345739

https://twitter.com/leelamurray

Hot Chick Of The Day: Ash Gaul

2013-05-27T22:54:00.003-07:00

Check out today's Hot Chick Of The Day.... Ash Gaul! Also be sure to check out her artwork!

Hot Chick Of The Day: Dora Ray

2013-05-26T18:17:00.001-07:00

We've been recruiting a lot of Canadians lately.... this is the sort of thing that makes you want to move up North :) Check out today's Hot Chick Of The Day.... Dora Ray!

Bonnar and Griffin FUTURE Hall Of Famers!

2013-05-26T17:35:00.001-07:00

Ask ANY fight fan, "Which fight in UFC History had the most significant impact?" and I guarantee that 9 times out of 10, they will tell you... Forrest Griffin vs. Stephan Bonnar! In 2005, at the very first televised event for the UFC (on Non-PPV TV), Bonnar and Griffin beat the ever loving shit out of eachother for fifteen minutes, making all of us shout out... I WANT ROUND 4! The only thing that could ever possibly overshadow the fight itself, was the IMPACT that the fight had on the sport of MMA.... 10 MILLION PEOPLE tuned in to watch these two goto war!

With eight years passing this significant battle and the UFC now being the PREMIERE SPORT in the world... it seems only fitting that these two warriors be entered into the UFC Hall Of Fame... and guess what??? It has been announced that this summer... THEY WILL BE INDUCTED! Nitroblitz would like to wish both of these great fighters a happy retirement and a massive thanks for all of the great fights that they gave us.

Injustice: Gods Among Us (Verdict.... Play It!)

2013-05-26T10:42:00.003-07:00

INJUSTICE: GODS AMONG US is one of those games that is worth playing, simply for it's storyline! As a comic book nerd, I've always found myself asking "What would happen if Superman went evil?" or "Who would win between Batman and The Flash?" In this game it gives us geeks the opportunity to answer some of these questions!

The Gameplay is nothing too special, a simple fighting game where you how to beat down your opponent until the life bar goes down twice, and after doing so... you get more of the addictive storyline. Even though the gameplay is nothing we haven't seen before, doesn't mean that it isn't fun as all hell!

What really impressed me about this game the most, was THE ROSTER of Super Heroes/Villains that you could play as (Below is the list):

Characters List

Aquaman
Ares
Bane
Batman
Black Adam
Catwoman
Cyborg
Deathstroke
Doomsday
Flash
Green Arrow
Green Lantern
Harley Quinn
Hawkgirl
Joker
Killer Frost
Lex Luthor
Nightwing
Raven
Shazam
Sinestro
Solomon Grundy
Superman
Wonder Woman

Our verdict here.... PLAY IT!

Forrest Griffin Retires :(

2013-05-26T00:44:00.000-07:00

At the UFC 160 Post-Fight Press Conference, beloved UFC Veteran Forrest Griffin announced that he will no longer be fighting in the UFC! Griffin has sacrificed his body on countless occasions for our entertainment, including the fight that was responsible for bringing MMA to the mainstream, I'm talking of course about the the epic 15 minute war with Stephan Bonnar!

We salute you Forrest Griffin and wish you an amazing retirement!

Hot Chick Of The Day: Su Farrell

2013-05-25T20:57:00.001-07:00

Today's HCOTD is Figure Competitor... Su Farrell!

Check out some of the other hotties from this month:

Ashley Alexxis
Laly LV
Dreamless Ocean
Ann Bocla
Harlow Minx
Lista Marie
Larrisa Reis
Amanda Rose Ecker