Michael Monday

Sowing And Reaping

2012-12-28T08:46:00.000-08:00

Have you been standing on the Word and believing God for certain things to come to pass; to happen for you? While you wait to see the natural manifestation of what you believe, your patience and trust in God will be tested.

The Bible talks about seed time and harvest, which means there is a time to sow, a time to wait and a time to reap what you have sown (Genesis 8:22). Don't be discouraged, or allow frustration that accompanies impatience to deter your perseverance. Remember, for everything in life there is a due season. And due season always comes. Ecclesiastes 3:1 declares, "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

Sometimes, while you are waiting, impatience can usher in a flood of doubt and cause you to become weary. You may be wondering, "When is my harvest coming?" or "When is my breakthrough going to show up?" You have been sowing seed, believing and confessing the Word; your time of harvest is coming.

You must establish in your heart and mind that every promise of God has a particular time to be made manifest. Another thing you can be sure of, when dealing with God, is that there is never a question of whether something is going to happen that He said in His Word. Isaiah 55:11 says, "So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it."

When you renew your mind to the fact that God's Word always comes to pass, you position yourself to no longer walk in the doubt of whether or not it will show up. This simply means that what you believe God for will surely happen, no matter what happens or is happening.

You have to get rid of the "if" mentality and get into the expectancy of "when" it's going to happen. When you develop expectancy, God is obligated to fulfill your expectation from His Word

God bless us all.

The amazing grace of God

keep your head up : God is still GoD

Take Good Care Of Your Employees...

2012-12-27T09:40:00.000-08:00

As a Business Management specialist, I have had to do series of study on business resources secrets of business success. In all my studies and work, I have always come to the knowledge that the most important of business resources and the major secret of business success is not the sophisticated technology in place, the strong connections, the amount of financial power of the business owner or what have you. Rather that every business success or failure, hinges on the human resources available at his disposal.

A friend once said that the reason one of the banks here in Nigeria was doing well more than the others was because of the sophisticated technology it had put in place, especially in the area of internet banking. I said No ! I do not agree. To start with, those equipment were suggested by the staffers of the bank. It takes the staffers to make the machines operational. It also takes the staffers to tackle problems when they occur. Without humans the machines will forever be what they are – machines !!!

In all sectors of the economy workers are not treated as the goose that lays the golden eggs. What you have is mass exploitation of workers and in some cases, a complete disregard for generally acceptable standards for human treatment. Ranging from high rate of retrenchment/dismissals to inhuman treatments to unreasonable working hours to working-365 days a year to zero-welfare schemes, and very unreasonable salaries. The golden goose has been turned to the one that only lays the golden egg and it ends there ! Should it be so?

In such organisations, there is very low morale, low productivity, high tendency to cheat or defraud the organisation, very low dedication and loyalty from employees, constant grumbling and dissatisfaction, very low tendency to be creative and very high staff turnover.

However, thumbs up for those organisations that see and treat their workers as truly the geese that lay the golden eggs and therefore have to be well nurtured for better production. These organisations are noted for excellent welfare policies (all of these or most of it) – free meals, all-expense-paid holiday trips, free accommodation, staff bus services, subsidized acquisition of home appliances, bonuses, excellent health services, scholarship for children of employees, humane treatment of emloyees, excellent award/reward system and salaries that makes vacancies to be very scarce in such organisations, amongst others.

Such organisations have very high staff loyalty, highly motivated work force, high productivity, creativity, dedication to service by employees and very low or insignificant staff turnover. Except for very strong reasons, why would one want to leave such organisations ?

I am one of those who see staff welfare expenses as investments, because that is exactly what it is. This is always an investment that always yields good returns. If you want to find out the results of having or not having a good welfare policy in place in an organisation, check out those organisations that either have them or do not have them in place. The results are so easy to see.

Thanks for your time.

Related posts :
Outsmart your competitors or they will kick you out of business
Decision making : The most far-reaching function of a manager
http://justmikemon.bloSmall businesses' practices and the issues of stagnation and collapse

Outsmart your competitors or they will kick you out of business

2012-12-27T07:13:00.001-08:00

Oshodi market is a very popular market in Lagos, Nigeria. There, you can find almost everything to buy. Like every other market, there are many people selling similar items. What this translates to is that survival is for the fittest.

A few days back, I had to go and do last minute shopping for my family for the Christmas celebration. The tempo in the market was unsurprisingly high as there were so many other last minute shoppers like myself. The traders too were at their best trying to outsmart one another to sell their products. traders used all sort of means to get customers’ attention – pulling customers, singing, cracking jokes, impromptu discounts offers and even making a mockery of themselves – all in a bid to sell their products. One thing was noticeable – traders who were very good at appealing to or wooing customers made a lot of sales. I had to stop by some trading spots, not because I wanted to, but because I was persuaded to by the very appealing tactics applied by the concerned traders. I was not the only one that so persuaded.

However, in a sharp contrast was a particular trader who simply stood there and held out his wares without making attempts to appeal to or woo customers to his spot. Instead, he stood there smiling at his colleagues who were busy applying creativity to the tensed competition that existed at the time, and making huge sales therefrom. Till I left the area where he was selling, he did not make any sales. I really pitied him.

This scene applies beyond the simple sole trader selling his wares on a corner of the street or in the market, to big multinationals. The need to do something extra cannot be over emphasized in business. One of the major reasons why some businesses are finding the business climate very tough is because of the presence of competitors, some of them being very aggressive. Remove the competition and you find them doing better. But in business you cannot rule out competition, except for legal monopolies. So every business has to learn the art of survival of the fittest, or they are kicked out of business.

All that is required is to have at the back of your mind that a sale by a competitor means you have lost that particular sale. If it continues unabated, then collapse is imminent. Simple !

So you have to do everything (legal of course) to ensure that you outsmart your competitor. It’s all about being watchful, creative, proactive, business-minded, building customer loyalty and above all, being customer-oriented. Sometimes you might have to lose a few coins/notes. See those loses as investments that, most often than not, pay back.

Last line : Watch a boxing match, preferably that of Iron Mike Tyson, and see how to outsmart a competitor.

Good luck to you.

Related links:

It feels good to be king : Thumbs up to healthy competition

Customer loyalty : A condition for business survival

Decision making : The most far reaching function of a manager

Small businesses' practices and issues of stagnation and collapse

The Power In A Name

2012-12-10T05:15:00.000-08:00

A name is supposed to serve as a means of identifying an individual. A name prevents an individual from being called like a dog, cat or any other pet by making a sound.

People may pass away, but names never pass away.

Names are given for different reasons. I gave my son Daniel because of the awesome miracle God did when Daniel was thrown into the lion’s den (Daniel 6:1-28). Till date, my son’s life reflects this miracle. I nicknamed him unstoppable because of the way God has taken care of him for more than four years. I gave my daughter Grace to constantly remind myself of God’s awesome magnanimity towards me and my family. For the past four months my daughter’s name has been working in her life. Hallelujah !!!

So you see, names are like seeds, prayers or wishes. Imagine being given a name like idiot or robber! Such a name has a strong tendency to hunt the child for ever. I have a friend who had to change his surname because it was associated with the water goddess.

Another angle of looking at names, and the major reason for this post, is where an individual suffers for the sins he never committed, simply because he/she shares the same name with the ‘’sinner.’’

A story was once told of a lady who lost a good job simply because she was the daughter of a sadist lecturer who forgot that there was a world outside the campus which he had no power over. We have them in all campuses. Some of them are worse than demons. It was her surname that exposed her at the point of the interview. Unfortunately for her, the lady in charge was an ex-victim of the dad back in the university. Another lost a scholarship abroad simply because the man in charge was once a victim of the young man’s father, who was his former boss. He was said to be worse than the devil when they were working together.

In another instance, a young man had to change his surname simply because of the so many crimes the father had committed in the past. In yet another instance, what was supposed to be a future union was cut short as soon as the girl introduced herself. Her father murdered his father. That was the end of the short-lived love.

The examples of how a simple name can bring sorrow upon one’s life are common place. Perhaps as you read this post your mind would have taken you to a few instances.

However, the good news is that names have also opened doors for a lot people. The mere mention of their names brought them favour even when they did not deserve them.

So the message is very simple. Names are like seeds. They grow and bring all sorts of consequences depending on the type of name and how they are nurtured over time. Sadly, even the unborn eventually get to share from whatever comes with the names they meet in world.

So be careful, be wise and be prayerful.

God help us all, amen !!!

The amazing grace of God

The transient nature of power

Transient nature of power

Congratulations To President Obama : Matters Arising

2012-11-07T03:43:00.000-08:00

I have never been to the USA, but I love the country to a fault. For me, it is one of the most organized and matured countries on earth. A few other countries also impress me. Good enough, they have always lived up to expectation.

Another election has come and gone and as expected the USA lived up to the love and respect I had for them. To the best of my knowledge, the election was very peaceful, devoid of violence, ballot box snatching, assassinations, thuggery, accusations and counter accusations, threat of litigations and all other dirty aspects of politics that dominate the election of other countries. In fact, there was no sign of the incumbency advantage or manipulation by President Obama. He was just a candidate, just like Mr. Romney was.

What mattered to the Americans most was their country and not Mr Romney or President Obama. I use to feel ‘jealous’ when I hear the very common prayer "God bless America. Rather than watch chaos on TV, what I saw was intellectual and matured battle. Issues of national interest were the main subjects of the ''battle'' rather that personal witch hunting common in the elections of other climes.

Just like I expected, I just watched a video of Republican, Mitt Romney, conceding defeat in the 2012 presidential election to President Barak Obama, saying ‘I have just called President Obama to congratulate him on his victory….and I pray that the president will be successful in guiding our nation." I knew the American blood was in Mitt Romney and he will definitely do as I expected him to do.

I join the whole world to congratulate President Barak Obama and wish him and his cabinet well too. I also praise the Americans for living up to the expectation of those who see them as the best democracy in the world.

For other countries where the game of politics is a very dirty and blood-sucking game, I pray that God will heal your lands. I look forward to a time when politics will be mainly for the purpose of service to humanity and not for self-centered and ungodly motives. I hope a time will come when politics in those countries will be free from violent crimes, acrimony, unnecessary litigations and ill-motived god-fatherism. It is very possible....it takes willingness and a strong resolve from all those concerned.

Once more, CONGRATULATIONS PRESIDENT OBAMA and God bless America......and God bless Nigeria !!!!

Related link :
The Transient Nature Of Power

The Amazing Grace Of God

2012-11-05T14:02:00.000-08:00

It’s being a while that I wanted to do this post. But for one reason or the other I have not. But after hearing the loss of a baby of a colleague’s friend after delivery, I just had to deal with procrastination and get this post done.

I am one of those who believe so much in the fact that GOD is awesomely magnanimous – doing so much for man and me in particular, when we do not actually deserve it all. I believe so much in the fact that I am surrounded by so many things I do not deserve – the amazing grace of God ! I am 100% convinced that if not for God, I would have been woken up from my sleep, only to realize that all I have today and what I am today, were just fantasies in the mind of a dreamer. I believe so much in the AMAZING GRACE of God.

Have you stopped to ask which human being can be so good to you despite all the bad things you may have done to him or her? Is there any human being, living or dead, who can tell me that all he or she has, or has had, is as a result of their hard work and probably, their educational qualifications? Come on ! Did you not hear that 13000 people applied for the post of drivers in Dangote Group(Google it), and majority of which were MBA and PhD holders? Can you say that these ones have not worked hard enough or read enough? How come their papers and years of hard work could not fetch them their dream jobs? I guess you will say it’s the unemployment situation in Nigeria; or perhaps that they are not well connected. Well, carry out your research. Nigeria is not alone in this strange situation.

Check out the life of every successful person you know - entertainment, sports, law, technology, medicine and much more – you will observe that there are numerous people out there who are several times better. But sadly, they are not as successful or successful at all. Why? Simple. God blesses whoever He chooses to bless. He releases His grace to whoever He so desires. The successful ones are simply products of the amazing grace of God (whether they accept or not), and His actions are unquestionable. God is awesomely magnanimous !

Someone once said He cannot see anything that God has done for him, just because things were not too rosy with him. And I asked “what about the extra ordinary gift of life.” Do you know that man would have taken the “little” he has given him because of ingratitude? But God rarely does that. That is because He is God, and will not act like man. His grace is very strange and can only be comparable with His grace. God is awesomely magnanimous.

Have you ever wondered why wicked and evil people live long and even live a good life? Well, that again is because God’s grace is awesome and can only be comparable to His grace. It’s really annoying really. But that is what makes God different from us.
For it is written (Rom 9:15-16) :

.... I will have mercy on whom I

will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. So, it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy

So, the bottom line of my post is simple : we are all enjoying the AMAZING GRACE OF GOD, no matter who you are and whatever you may be ; yes I mean everyone created by God. The Bible (Rom 3:23) says that:

for all have sinned, and come

short of the glory of God.

So, if you have not been doing it, make it a daily task to thank Him for all you have achieved in life. Always thank Him for His unmerited favors and mercies towards you and all that concerns you. Resist the temptation of stealing the glory which belongs to God and giving it to something else or someone else. Where you refuse, one day you might find yourself without that grace that you have constantly been relegating to the background of your life and endeavors. You will be left alone to be helped by that thing or person you have always depended upon. Do not wait till then. Thus says the Lord (Prov. 1:24-27) :

because I have called and ye refused; I have stretched

out my hand, and no man regarded; but ye have set at

nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof,

I will also laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your

fear cometh; when your fear cometh as desolation and

your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress

and anguish cometh upon you.

So, brother or sister, give God what belongs to Him......always acknowledge His AMAZING GRACE because He is awesomely Magnanimous!!!

Thanks for your time.

keep your head up : God is still God

Child delivery : Tribute to God Almighty and all mothers

Tips On Safe Usage Of The Automated Teller Machine (ATM)

2012-10-31T07:37:00.001-07:00

An automated teller machine or automatic teller machine (ATM) , also known as an automated banking machine (ABM), Cashpoint, cash machine or sometimes a hole in the wall in British English and Hiberno-English, is a computerised telecommunications device that provides the client of a financial institution with access to financial transactions in a public space without the need for a cashier, human clerk or bank teller.

The customer is identified by inserting a plastic ATM card with a magnetic stripe or a plastic smart card with a chip that contains a unique card number and some security information such as an expiration date.

The first ATM was put into use in 1959 in the Kingsdale Shopping Center in Upper Arlington, Ohio.

The ATM machine is a modern day invention that has been globally applauded, accepted and used. However, like every other very good invention, it has not been without its own setbacks.

I have been a victim of this machine a number of times. Same goes for my friends. Hence, I decided to do this post.

Setbacks

The major setbacks are basically of three types:

Fraud. There have been so many reported cases of ATM card’s password forgeries. Fraudsters have devised a means of getting and using the ATM card users’ password to steal money from their bank accounts. This they do without the cards. One low-tech way is shoulder surfing (i.e. looking over someone's shoulder, to get information) your card’s personal identification number (PIN) or password by a criminal. Another way is to steal both the card and the PIN and use it withdraw money from the account.

Seizure of cards. So many ATM machines have ‘swallowed’ the cards of some users due to, in some cases, technical defaults. This usually causes untold hardship for the account owner who has to spend days, weeks and sometimes months waiting for a solution to the fraud. It can even take a longer time where is an inter bank problem.

Debits without payments. I have fallen a victim of this setback, say thrice. Fortunately for me, I was credited within one hour of the occurrence of the problem. Some people spend months pursuing this error. An account holder in one of the banks said for three months he was yet to get his account credited.

Tips on safe usage

Here are a few tips which I have been sharing with people to reduce the risk involved with the usage of the ATM :-

1. Insist that no one is within a distance that can make the person see your PIN when typing.

2. Where you suspect that your PIN has been seen, change it immediately, either using the machine you are using or use the nearest machine.

3. Where the machine seizes your card, report immediately to an officer in the bank who can act fast. Where they are slow on retrieving your card, I will advise you authorize you bank to stop your account until you are convinced that all is well. As soon as you get your card change the PIN immediately.

4. To collect money, follow the following steps:

i. Check the balance first to confirm that your banks’ network is connected to the ATM’s internet service.

ii. Start with a small amount. This reduces the risk of being debited with a huge sum without payment, as a result of either the machine not being able to dispense cash or that there is no enough cash in the machine.

5. Keep your password very close to your heart. Where you have to inevitably release your PIN to someone, change it immediately after collecting it back.

6. Do not be careless with your card.

7. Where a particular machine is notorious for ATM-related problems, avoid it.

8. From experience, it is advisable to always use the ATMs of the banks where your account is located. Apart from not paying a fee of N100, it reduces the stress you may have to go through if there is any problem; and also it reduces the time you may have to wait to get the problem sorted out.

9. Where the transaction's processing is slow, it is advisable that you discontinue the usage of the machine, if your card is not seized by the machine. Cases abound of card seizures after a prolonged waiting for the transaction to be processed.

10. If you have forgotten your password, contact your bank. Your card may be seized by the machine after three failed attempts.

It costs nothing to take good advice.

Thanks for your time.

Divorce And Separations : The Fate Of Children

2012-10-21T10:07:00.001-07:00

Cases of divorce are very common globally today, being the aftermath of a number of factors ranging from infidelity, dwindling finances, lack of contentment, intolerance, unsubmissiveness on the part of the woman, arrogance of the husband, amongst others. In some cases, legally processed divorces are not the case, but a mere walk-out by either the man or the woman. And in some cases, what you have is what I will call in-house divorce/separation – a situation where the spouses live together, and do not communicate

with each other. In all, one thing is obvious – the once happy home is no more!!!

Children are often the worst hit in most cases of divorce

Look at it this way: before things go awry, there was this moment when the man and woman loved each other so much that they gathered people together to come and see them tie the nuptial knots. Meaning : if we reverse the ‘’hands of behavior’’ backwards, it is possible for things to return to normalcy if the spouse(s) involved is WILLING. If this is true, then there should not be divorces except very very serious issues are involved such as that which exposes a spouse’s life to danger, like possible man slaughter. Biblically, except for adultery, divorce is not allowed.

However, this has not been the case in many cases. A young man once told me that he was ending the relationship because his spouse was ‘‘unsubmissive and talks back at him’’. Then I asked him, if there was a time when all was well. He answered in the affirmative. Then I said the solution was not separation but that two of them should trace back their relationship and take corrective actions because there is no perfect relationship anywhere. I want to be quoted on this. Some people see the pre-divorce turbulent period as a dark tunnel which can only be brought to an end only by a divorce. The question is: is it always the case? Does divorce guarantee light at the end of the dark tunnel.

My sojourn in the academia has been very beneficial in many fronts. One of the greatest benefits is my exposure to all kinds of children – yes I mean all kinds of children – the intelligent, average, weak, very weak, children with disabilities, emotionally balanced and those that are emotionally traumatized.

It is very interesting to note that most of the students that I have had to have a chat with for having moral or academic challenges were those whose parents had SEPARATED OR DIVORCED or their marriage was on the verge of collapse.

One of my former students once said: ‘’how can I concentrate when my parents are always fighting.” Another who I noticed was always absent minded in class once told me what I feared: ‘’her parents were divorced and home was no more home sweet home.’’ Another who was always in a bad mood told me that their home was a war zone on a daily basis. The kids of my former neighbor always spent their time in my apartment. The reason is not far-fetched - daddy comes back late, since he was always fighting with the mum; even when he returns late, as he usually does, it is fighting all through the night. A prostitute once said that the abandonment of their once happy home by the dad pushed her into the streets. If you checked the confessions of most of the street kids, armed robbers and other criminals, one fact is common - they are mostly products of broken or troubled homes. Take and examine ten emotionally disturbed and traumatised children. More than five cases will be the aftermath of troubled homes.

No doubt, the absence of that father figure, no matter how poor he may be, in any home tells a lot about what eventually becomes of that child in future. Any man who says he can bring up his kids alone without their motherly love and attention should give his views a second thought. And it is usually time that proves each person right or wrong.

What about the prolonged emotional problems that creep in for both spouses, with each wearing an all-is-well face. What about families’ and societal perception of the new status of both spouses. It is no hidden fact that some remarriages sometimes end up in friction and disunity with a long list of commonly found unpleasant consequences. If you say divorce cases sometimes end ‘’well’’ it will definitely be that there was no child between them.

So wherein lays the light at the end of the dark tunnel which divorce, separation or in-house separation was meant to bring about. What I see instead is a continuation of the dark tunnel, which in most cases eventually turns into a darker tunnel.

The summary of my submission is this : spouses should ALWAYS give priority to the effects of their actions on their innocent children. They deserve to be happy like every other child, secured and free from trauma, and assured of a blissful tomorrow. The spouses too deserve marital bliss as planned out by God. For this to be so spouses should swallow the humble pie and always remember their MARRIAGE VOWS, and above all be PRAYERFUL.

Wishing you a blissful marriage and an enviable family.

Thanks for your time.

Related posts :
Keep your head up. God is still God.
Searching for true love
When is the ideal age to get married ?
Childlessness : Marriage turned soar

The Internet : Between LOVE and HATE

2012-10-21T10:00:00.001-07:00

I love the internet. But there is no amount of love you have for something, a time might come when some element of hate might creep in.

Before the advent of the internet, I was a one-way traffic kind of guy – only interested in business and finance which is my area of specialization. The main reason behind this was obviously the difficulty of accessing information on other facets of life. Getting information on varied facets of life was expensive as books and magazines/newspapers had to be bought to source for information.

The coming of the internet in the early 90s changed my life all together – thumps up for Sir Timothy John ‘’Tim’’ Berners-Lee for his invention of the World Wide Web. I started off by going to internet cafes to surf the internet. I fell in love with the internet and how it works. I loved most the fact that I can get virtually any information from the internet.

My love for the internet grew when I bought my first internet internet-enabled phone, then a laptop, then a modem and then a blackberry phone. My knowledge base became immeasurable. Getting information on virtually any topic became just a click away. Afterwards, opened my Yahoo email account. Communication became swift. Then I opened my Facebook account. In no time, I reunited with many of my lost friends and relations. Wao!!! With time, sophisticated gadgets entered the market one after the other - tablets, smartphones, iPhones, sophisticated satellite dishes and much more.

At work, the internet became a wonderful assistant. As an academia, the internet has really boosted my data base and confidence. It takes me seconds to source for any information - I mean any information. The internet has been a remarkable assistant in all spheres of live and discipline - medicine, architecture, arts, engineering, security, communication, agriculture, entertainment, oil exploration, education and much more.

As I was enjoying this wonderful creation of man, some people, in secret places across the globe were scheming on how to use this creation to create pain in the heart of other internet users. Cybercrime is now common place. Hacking is now a means of livelihood. The most alarming and the height of it all is DEATH arising from internet-related activity, namely ONLINE DATING AND SOCIAL NETWORKING. The latest one is the murder of Cynthia Osokogu, a 25 year old Nigerian student, by friends she made via Facebook on July 22, 2012. In fact, her death prompted me to put this blog post together.

Social networking sites like Facebook, Badoo, Tweeter, and MySpace are wonderful creations of man. For me, it has really closed up the distance between me and my friends and family members scattered all over the world. But unfortunately some users of these networks have refused to follow one principle (Biblical) that has guided me through life so far. What is it ? TRUST NO ONE !!! Yeahh TRUST NO ONE !!!

One fact is clear - whatever precaution one takes can still be broken. But another greater fact is that is worse and very dangerous when no precaution is taken at all. When you go by my principle :-

*You will not release very personal details online such as bank account details and PINs

*You will not give details of your credit cards online without caution

*You will not go and visit a stranger you only know online without security arrangements

*You will not disclose your actual locations to a stranger

*You will not discuss very intimate work details to a stranger

*You will not agree to marry a “stranger’’ you got to know online

*You will not ‘’foolishly’’ fall in love to with an online stranger

*You will not end up being deceived by the photos you see online, especially profile pictures

*You will not use the same password someone used in opening an online account for you.

*You will become suspicious when a guy or lady is secretive while discussing

*You will not post your home address on social networks’ walls for people to see

*You will not disclose your financial status online

*You will avoid flamboyant photos online

*You will not accept friend requests on social networks without caution

*You will not give ANYONE unlimited access to your email and social network accounts

*You will always sign out from your email and social network accounts

The above are some of the precautions you and I could take to avoid being victims of internet criminals. Living a carefree life can really expose us to a lot of risk. So much money, properties and worse of all, life, have been lost through internet-related criminal activities.

Like I said earlier, precautions can be broken, but it is very risky and dangerous not to take any precautions at all.

HAPPY SURFING!!!

Parental bullying

Building a strong-relationship with your child

Divorce : The fate of children

Impact of parental and peer influence on career decisions

Keep Your Head Up : GOD Is Still GOD

2012-10-19T11:32:00.001-07:00

September 22, (or there about)2001 marked a turning point in my life. Even though I had had many powerful testimonies about the awesome magnanimity of God, this month and year changed my thoughts and hope on God for ever.

My younger brother was wrongly diagnosed and treated for malaria, instead of typhoid fever. By the time it was discovered that he actually had typhoid fever, his blood had almost dried up…yes! Dried up. It had reduced to 23 PVC. The challenge was taking his blood sample so that we could buy blood for transfusion. As the devil would have it, the tiny drop he had in him had started clotting. His blood group could not even be seen to buy. Fortunately, a friend donated one pint, which was next to nothing, compared to how much blood he had lost.

All through the night my brother laid on that ill-equipped hospital, which was the nearest we could rush him to, he was as cold as a frozen fish. His eyes looked grayish all through and he did not see any one of us by his bed side. At that moment, I had lost all hope. I only continued to beg God to have mercy upon us and bring my brother back to life, because he was gone. Yes! GONE.

It was actually a Saturday night. God speared his life that night. By morning time, his body had received a DIVINE TOUCH. His temperature had improved. He was able to see us. At this point, we got to know that even though his eyes were open all through the night, he was not seeing, as he accused some of his friends of abandoning him all through the night. Meanwhile, they were with him all through the night.

Guess what. By Wednesday (5 days after), my brother, who lay Iifeless on that hospital bed, five days earlier was strong enough to give the devil and his disciples a memorable punch. He was discharged as a result. Today, he is happily married with a family. Praise God !!!

Since then, my favorite part of the Bible has been Exodus chapter 14. I call the chapter My Comforter (if you have never read the chapter, please do). From then on, I developed this confidence and hope in GOD that makes me constantly tell those in pains to keep their heads up, pray instead and wait on God .

One of such is persons and to whom this post is dedicated, is a friend who was finding it very tough with life, especially at work. He was always downcast and thought of many options, which did not include reporting to God what he was passing through. With confidence, I often told him two things: firstly, no matter how degrading or humiliating his job was; and no matter the amount of frustration he was getting from his boss, he should do his work well. Secondly, and more importantly, he should take his pains to God in prayers without ceasing and report his boss who does not belief in the transient nature of power. With my journey through life so far, I could not think of a better advice. My advice was priceless.

I prayed along with him for God to show that He gives and takes power and that He should repeat what He did for the Israelites in the land of Egypt. Today, a new chapter has been opened in his life. He now has a job he can be proud of – promising, decent, comfortable and a humble and caring boss. Now he flashes back to those days when I used to advise him. Now, he beliefs that indeed GOD is still GOD.

Thus, as someone who has tasted the awesome magnanimity and power of God several times, I have found it very easy to recommend this ULTIMATE PROBLEM SOLVER to those in "pains."

Like my friend, oftentimes, we do not get what we want from GOD at the time we needed it. He is the only one who can give the exact reasons for His actions. Even though, we expect things to happen our own way. Truly…

the vision is yet for an appointed time,
but at the end it shall speak

and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it;
because it will surely come…(Hab 2:3)

And truly, God will show His awesome power to those who diligently and prayerfully put their hope on Him. No doubt, it’s hard to wait sometimes. But is it not better to wait on God forever than to hurriedly run after the devil and his disciples and then have a bag full of regrets???

Often times, people lose their divine gifts because they think they are wiser than GOD or because they think that God is too slow. The book of Proverbs 14:12 says that:

There is a way which seemeth
right unto a man,but the end

thereof are the ways of death

So, are you pressed down by some of the challenges of this life? Have you been praying for so long without answers? Or perhaps you have been looking for solutions where they don’t exist? Do you know that someone else has had a more complex problem and was delivered by God Almighty? Do you agree that God is not wicked, deaf or selective in helping people? Do you belief in the amazing grace and mercies of God ? Do you know that troubles and temptations are bound to face us everyday ? DO YOU BELIEF IN GOD'S ABILITY TO SOLVE EVERY PROBLEM ???

For me and my household, God has been very wonderful. We have had had our problems and challenges too. But I refuse to close my eyes to God's magnanimity towards me and my family. I can never thank Him enough. I am sure a lot of people out there (including you) can also attest to His grace, mercies and awesome magnanimity. Even as I update this post(Saturday, 20th October, 2012), I have a great joy in my mind, as, minutes ago, my younger brother called to say God had just blessed him with a beautiful baby girl. Hallelujah !!!

So, if you know anyone (or perhaps you are the one) who is always deep in thoughts or worried, with plenty of confidence, I say (or please say to the person) .... keep your head up....diligently seek God's intervention, cos I am soooo sure that GOD is still GOD !!!

GOD bless us all .... and congratulations to my good friend and my brother.

Related links :
Child delivery : Tribute To God Almighty And All Mothers, Especially My Late Sister

It Feels Good To Be A King : Thumbs Up To Healthy Competition

2012-10-18T06:17:00.001-07:00

On a daily basis, I smile when I see the telecoms operators in Nigeria scramble to please me with their different offers. At a point, I told a friend that very soon they will come to my house to give me their products free of charge. Yes, absolutely free!

Interestingly, I use the all the major networks - Glo, MTN, Etisalat and Airtel. So, it would not be wrong to say that I am one of those that is being lobbied on all all fronts for loyalty on a daily basis. If you ask me, it feels good to be treated like a king - the feeling of indispensability. That is the beauty of competition.

Well, for the avoidance of doubts, competition only occurs when there is more than one producer or seller of a product in the market. When this happens, such producers and traders MUST make me and the other consumers, not only happy, but also convinced that their product is the best amongst those available in the market. If we refuse to fall for their lobbying and appeals, then it is certainly ''aure voir'' or ''bye bye'' for them.

Non wonder then that the telecoms service providers have overhauled their lobbying strategies to outplay one another - price and tariffs cuts, internet offers, blackberry offers, increased corporate responsibility and even entertainment. All of these are targeted at one thing - SURVIVAL in a highly competitive environment. I love competition.

Price of SIM cards

I really smiled when I bought an MTN SIM card for my sister for just N200 late last year. This is the same card I bought in 2003, with serious begging, for N13500 ; and this is even after searching the whole for the card. The cheapest I saw was N20,000. The other day I saw Airtel’s SIM card being sold for N120! Glo and Etisalat SIMs also sell for between N200-N250, depending on the number. Who says prices of things cannot crash in Nigeria. I love competition!

Internet offers

The sudden increase in internet access in Nigeria has also made the Strategists of all the service providers to think towards that direction. The offers has really been interesting. New offers are made almost on a daily basis. Even as I was typing this post, I got an SMS from MTN telling me that they will give me 200MB for the price of a 100MB data plan. For being on MTN Pulse, I used to get 10MB for each N100+ recharge, valid for a week – meaning I cannot get another 10MB until after seven days. Now I get 10MB for every N100+ recharge. I actually left Family and friends platform because of the 10MB.

Of course you know why MTN is doing all of theseA - other networks are not sleeping. Aitel has been giving me 10MB for my recharges. But not as immediate as MTN. Etisalat also gives me 15MB for my N200+ recharges. Now, Etisalat has a daily 1MB, courtesy of the Easy life 3.0. With it also comes a tariff of as low as 20kobo per second.All these is to make me and other consumer happy and win over those who are not singing their praise.

Tariffs

The most interesting aspect of these offers is the drastic reduction in tariffs. When Econet (which went through metamorphosis to become the Airtel of today) and MTN were calling the shots in 2002-2003, I used to pay N50 per minute. I remember making a call for one minute and one second and had to pay N100. Thanks to Globacom for initiating the per second billing system which MTN could not do before Gloacom joined the race. If not for competition, I am very sure we would have continued to be sen subjected to the wicked per minute billing system. I love competition.

Today, I have lost count of the different tariff plans I have had to switch to, on all the networks. Thanks to the tensed competition going on in the telecoms market. Even the CDMA networks like visafone and Starcomms are not left out in the show of supremacy. Recently; we have heard Pulse, Family and friends, F&F Xpanded, Funklink and much more. Etisalat has has fought back with Easyblaze, Easy Cliq, Easylife and much more. Globacom has lobbied with Infinito, G-Bam, Gista and much more. Airtel has not been sleeping all this while. They has competed with Club 10, 2Good, Big Family and much more.

By now, it is obvious that competition is good for everyone - the consumers and the service providers alike.

Blackberry services

I am one of those who felt blackberry services was over priced at N3000 per month. Like good servants, they responded by introducing the blackberry Complete services. Even at that while MTN, Etisalat and Airtel charge N3000 for the full blackberry service, Glo charges N2800.

For the Complete version (monthly), MTN charges and Etisalat charges N1500, while Globacom and Airtel charge N1400. I was on MTN blackberry Complete but had to drop it for Globacom's. Apart from being cheaper by N100 a data allowance of 3GB goes with it. I acn also have access to my data balance whenever I wanted. It seems to me like a football match where you are constantly watching your opponent’s moves and devising strategies to counter every one of them. That is the beauty of competition.

Entertainment
One of the greatest advantages of competition is that it forces the businesses to be innovative. This innovativeness has made all the telecoms operators to incorporate entertainment into their appeal strategies. MTN's Project Fame and Who wants to a millionaire, as well as Airtel's Nigeria's Got talent, are household events and have succeeded in winning over subscribers to the service providers that organises them.

Benefits of competition
All these are responses to a tensed competitive environment. Thus, competition forces businesses to be innovative and consumer-centered. This eventually leads to increased earnings and profits in the long run.Thus, businesses that cannot stand the competition fizzles out of the market gradually and eventually. A good case in mind is NITEL and its subsidiary, Mtel.

The same applies in other sectors and sub sectors of the economy - banking, aviation, postal services, education, consumer goods trading, insurance and others. Its simple - businesses that cannot see and treat the consumer as king is shown the way out.

I therefore cannot wait to see day I will have a choice between PHCN and several other electricity providers. A day when I will be begged by electricity companies to buy their electricity supply. A day when efficiency and competitive power will determine which electricity company stays and which one is chased out of the market. A day when we will start celebrating no-power-outage anniversaries. I am just looking forward to that day. I hope it will come during my time on earth.

For the consumers, we now he have options to choose from. We also have better products for our money. Competition has also forced down prices and has made the us to be the focal point in every decision being taken by telecoms operators. It makes the consumers the ''air'' that they (and other businesses) ''breathe in'' and the "blood" which flows in their ''veins.''

It Feels Good To Be King. This is the beauty of healthy competition.

Related posts :
Decision making :The most sensitive and far reaching function of a manager
Small businesses' practices and the issues of stagnation and collapse

Searching For True Love ?

2012-10-15T13:20:00.004-07:00

I watched an interview granted by two octogenarians who had been married for over 50 years. Yeah...50 years !!! Holding hands throughout the interview, they looked like today's lovers whose relationship had just started.

Celebrating true love

Fifty years is quite a long time. What is s the secret? Their answer included perseverance, tolerance, no materialism, contentment, patience, trust, constant communication, sincererity to one another …. And to sum it all, TRUE LOVE – straight from the heart.

Over time, I have been searching for the real definition of true love. Dictionaries have not really helped. I have heard two people say I love you to each other. Not too long they were separated. How come the ‘’love’’ could not keep them together. Or could it be said that some type of love does not include endurance and tolerance. Does a guy or lady really want to say ‘I love’ when they actually wanted to say ‘I like you or I admire you?’ It goes to show that so many of us do not actually know the real meaning of love. How do you explain a situation where a couple constantly fight, curse, pack out and park in, cheat on each other, and yet you still hear them say to each other ‘I love you’.

A pastor friend told me of a marriage that lasted for just eight hours. Yes! Eight hours. Eight hours earlier, I believed they had said ‘I love you’ to each other. Celebrities are the worse hit of this so-called kind of love. Did you observe that after all the glamour and media hype that usually goes with most celebrities’ wedding, it usually does not last? The reason is not hard to deduce – the ‘I love you’ they said to each other were simply different from the one that can keep a couple together till death do them apart.

The result of being unable to draw a thick line between pure love, infatuation, admiration, love-with-a-motive and love-with-a-reason, are not pleasant : heartbreaks, depression, mental issues, polygamy and even bigamy, breakups, divorce, single parentage and sometimes death!!!

I might not be able to give a a generally acceptable definition of love, but one thing I know too well is that love does not come from the mouth /lips ; it comes from the heart. Love is based on nothing. True love should not be traceable to anything. It can be likened to the pure and unconditional love of God, which is shown on all despite tribe, gender, religion or even level of sins committed. If love is based on something, then it will fade away as soon as that thing is no more there. If it is love-with-a-mission, it comes to an end as soon as the mission is either aborted or accomplished. If it is material love, it will fade away as soon as your satisfaction reaches a climax, and there is nothing new anymore.

So, my advice is simple : do not settle for the love that comes from the lips. It will NOT last. When true love comes, even your heart will jump for joy, because true love comes from the heart – pure and real.

And if you believe in God almighty, be prayerful, because God answers prayers. He is the only one who has the ability to search the darkest corners of your partner’s heart, and guide you appropriately. There is so much deception everywhere these days. It takes the amazing grace of God to find the ‘flesh of my flesh, and ''the bones of my bones.'' I have been deceived before for four and a half years by a lady who appeared like a saint. She was a ‘smooth operator’. I caught her red handed four times with another guy!!! I forgave her each time. Yet she professed love. It took dedicated prayers to bring down the ‘’walls of Jericho’’ that she apparently and unknowingly was.

So you see that it takes the amazing grace and mercies of God not to be a victim of the so-called love that comes from the lips - the type that is very common these days.

It is my prayer that you find true love ... if you are searching for one.

Related posts :
When is the ideal age to get married?
Childlessness :Marriage turned soar
Divorce : The fate of children

Impact Of Parental and peer Influence On Career Decisions

2012-10-11T13:46:00.001-07:00

You can force a horse to the stream, but you cannot force it to drink water. So goes the popular saying. This is apparently akin to one of the major challenges that teachers face on a daily bases, namely, teaching unwilling students or students who are obviously in the wrong class or career. One of the major causes of these is a student offering a subject or in a career forced upon them by their parents or the effect of peer

influence.

Children are loaded with talents.
Help them discover and explore their talent.

Parental and peer influence is a serious problem that has serious and far-reaching consequences. A student who prefers one subject or career and the parents or friends prefer another, is simply reduced to a programmed robot that simply does what is expected of him with disregard for the preferences and feelings of the boy or girl.

Such a student will definitely have problems with concentration, assimilation, dedication and focus in school. It will be a miracle to find such students do well in school. Assignments and classwork will be big burdens for such a student. Such students will always have mood swings and may appear completely withdrawn from school activities. He or she is just like a feather being tossed around by the wind. The student does not have a mind of his or her own. School results and reports will definitely reflect these facts.

At work, competence will definitely play out the history of their education. Such an individual cannot live up to expectation. This should not come as a surprise. In jobs where the competence of the person is very easy to see like teaching, medicine, law, architecture, accounting, engineering, computer science and the like, the person’ s career may be in a disaster.

This is the powerful and far reaching effect of parental and peer pressure in career decisions.

Many lives have been destroyed in the course of parents trying to make their children be what they (the parents and friends) want them to be, not caring about the preferences of the child. My take on this is very simple. Children should be allowed to make their career choices. They should be allowed to identify their talents, preferences and areas of interests and explore them. Parents in particular, should only guide and advise their children. They should be interested in the reasons behind a particular choice being made. This is to ensure that the choices made are based on enough facts, not based on peer pressure and misguided assistance from outsiders. The highest parents can do is to try to persuade and not to force.

It is necessary to remind parents that it is the child’s life we are talking about here. So the child should have the final say on subject and career decisions.

Thanks for your time.

Related posts :
Decision making:the most sensitive and far-reaching function of a manager
Building a strong relationship with your child
Parent-child relationship gone awry
Divorce : The fate of children

Decision Making : The Most Sensitive And Far-Reaching Function Of A Manager

2012-10-08T13:48:00.000-07:00

As a student of Business Administration and Management, I had had to do a project on the most sensitive and far-reaching function of a Manager. Then, I had thought that providing good leadership was the most challenging, as every organisation was made up of all sorts of people- permit me to say , the good, the bad and the ugly - which makes leadership very complicated and in some cases, very frustrating.

DECISIONS can change this businesses -
either positively or negatively.

Much later, the following questions stared me in the face: What could make a very successful business go down the drain like a small road side one-man business? What could make a business that falls within the first five in the world collapse like a pack of cards? What could make the CEO of a company which used to be of a house hold name, suddenly become a reference point for business failure? What could make a world class business with the best of the best world class hands collapse like a business with a Board made up of a bunch of illiterates?

A critical look at the collapse of ENRON, which used to be one of the foremost energy companies in the world and their auditors, revealed one thing – these businesses collapsed because of the wrong decisions taken by some persons. One fact is indisputable – if the right decisions were taken, the damage done to the image of these businesses would not have taken place.

My graduation from school and years of working has further buttressed what I have now discovered – that decision making is actually the most sensitive and far-reaching of all the functions of a manager.

2009 provided me with further evidence of my conviction of how far-reaching decision making can be. This was the year the current Central Bank of Nigeria Governor, Mallam Sanusi Lamido ordered an audit of banks in Nigeria. The result was very ‘’interesting.’’ It was because some of the banks that failed the CBN audit were actually banks which I (and I am sure most Nigerians too had) had a l lot of respect for, as well as their CEOs. Today those banks have either been taken over by government or ‘’swallowed’’ by other banks – all because WRONG DECISIONS, like in the case of Enron and Arthur Andersen, were taken. by some managers.

There are so many businesses out there that have suffered or are suffering similar fate. There are some that are have not closed down, but are going through harsh times or stagnated progress simply because the managers do not know the A-B-C of decision making and have therefore taken wrong decisions in the business.

For a business owner, the worst decision is to employ managers who will continue with the trend of wrong decisions. Managers who take decisions before thinking. Managers who do not know the difference between a plan and a decision. Managers who give priority to self-fulfillment rather than business interests. Managers who lack foresight and cannot decipher the immediate consequences of their decisions, how much more the long term consequences. Managers who take decisions like complete illiterates. Managers who live and work in the past and are guided by the past, in a fast moving world.

Show me a very successful business and I will dig up a catalogue of beautiful decisions they took. Show me a stagnant, troubled or collapsing business and I will dig up many terrible, misguided, not-well-thought-out and destructive decisions that they took.

My candid advice? Every business (irrespective of the size) failure is traceable to a decision(s). Equally true, is that very business success is traceable to a decision(s).

Read between the lines.

Thanks for your time.

Related post :
Impact of parental and peer influence in career decisions

World Teachers’ Day : Tribute To All Teachers

2012-10-05T06:59:00.000-07:00

As the world marks World Teachers' Day today, my mind goes back to those days when I was in primary school and growing up, it was a thing of pride to be a teacher. Teachers were well respected. Teachers looked good. They looked comfortable. Most of my teachers had cars. They dressed well. They lived in good homes. Some of my teachers used to travel abroad frequently. Even the classrooms and school compounds were good enough to work and learn. You could find students who aspired to be teachers later in life. Generally, being a teacher brought honour and hope because of the conditions around the teacher at that time.

A teacher at work

That was many years ago. Things have changed now. Today, it is very easy to identify a teacher (at least most teachers) – not well dressed, obvious signs of malnourishment and lives under uncomfortable conditions. Some schools have very uncomfortable classrooms, staff rooms and facilities.

The very small percentages of teachers who are apparently above this ugly picture are those who are very fortunate to teach in very good private schools, those in Federal schools and some states like Lagos State. My friend who is a teacher in a Lagos State secondary school earns what can be described as reasonable and which can give one a good life if one plans well. His Excellency, Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola has done so much in providing a conducive working environment for both working and learning. Most of the schools are wearing new looks and some old structures have given way to new ones. Even though teachers and education are begging for more, His Excellency deserves a lot of praise for all he has done so far. Eko oni ba je oo.

A teacher at work (source: tom-brown.com)

The worst ‘’culprit’’ in the "maltreatment" of teachers is some of the private schools. In some private schools, Teachers are treated like slaves. Salary is a privilege and not a right. Apart from the salaries being very unreasonable, some schools pay teachers in installments, with teachers not being sure of when the next installment will come. In some, teachers are hired and fired without any regards to labour laws. In fact, in some schools, teachers are sacked verbally. In some, the owners of the schools have created a semi-god status for themselves, thus creating so much tension in the hearts of teachers. In some, teachers’ movements is monitored or restricted in a way not done in maximum prisons. In some schools, working hours has no limit, while teachers’ welfare is nothing to write home about. To make matters worse, some schools create a conducive environment for students, which the teachers are molding, to insult teachers and treat them (the teachers) with absolute disregard.

Rainbow College

It will not be out of place therefore, to praise Mrs O.O. Odunlami, the Proprietress of Pampers Group of Schools (owners Pampers Private School and Rainbow College Day and Boarding) one of the leading group of schools in Lagos and Ogun State of Nigeria, for choosing to do things differently, and therefore give hope to teachers. Reports have it that apart from being extremely humble, with her presence not creating tension in the hearts of teachers, she has, for the past twenty eight years (consistently), given number one priority to staff salaries, which is also one of the best in the industry. Whenever there is a delay, an apology memo follows. This is very uncommon in the industry. She has tried in so many ways to create comfort and happiness and not fear and frustration for teachers (and other members of staff). These are worthy of emulation by other school owners.

Teachers protest is a global feature
(source: premiumtimesng.com)

According to UNESCO, World Teachers' Day represents a significant token of the awareness, understanding and appreciation displayed for the vital contribution that teachers make to education and development.

To all those who are guilty of ''maltreating'' teachers, remember that teachers are the pillars upon which schools, education and the society (and the world at large) are built upon and so, should be treated accordingly. It is only a well motivated teacher, who is treated with respect, that can be effective and efficient.He/she is human like you and should be treated the same way you would have loved to be treated.

Protesting teachers in America
(source: politicalnewsnow.com)

So, I join voices to say HAPPY TEACHERS DAY to all teachers, especially all those who have taught me up till this point, and who have made it possible for me to be able to be a blogger. I also thank them for all their contributions to my life. God bless you all.

GOD BLESS ALL TEACHERS AND

HAPPY TEACHERS’S DAY

Michael Jackson : A Powerful Source Of Inspiration

2012-10-04T14:55:00.001-07:00

One of the things I always remember my uncle for is the fact that it was in his house, in the early eighties, that I saw the album (off the wall) of someone I later fell in love with; someone who later became the greatest musician of all time; the best dancer that ever lived; the most decorated and photographed entertainer ever and The King of Pop….MICHAEL JACKSON

Michael Joseph Jackson was an American recording artist, entertainer and businessman. He was unarguably the King of Pop, and the most successful entertainer of all time by Guinness World Records.

The beginning...
Michael Jackson was born on August 29, 1958, the eighth of ten children in an African American working-class family who lived in a small 3-room house in Gary, Indiana, an industrial city near Chicago. His mother, Katherine Esther Scruse, was a devout Jehovah's Witness and his father, Joseph Walter "Joe" Jackson, was a steel mill worker who performed with an R&B band called The Falcons. Jackson had three sisters: Rebbie, La Toya, and Janet, and five brothers: Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon, and Randy.

A sixth brother, Brandon, died shortly after birth.

Jackson had a troubled relationship with his father, Joe. Joseph acknowledged in 2003 that he regularly whipped Jackson as a boy. Jackson stated that he was physically and emotionally abused during incessant rehearsals, though he also credited his father's strict discipline with playing a large role in his success.

Jackson first spoke openly about his childhood abuse in an interview with Oprah Winfrey, broadcast in February 1993. He admitted that he had often cried from loneliness and he would vomit on the sight of his father. Jackson's father was also said to have verbally abused Jackson, saying that he had a fat nose on numerous occasions. In fact, Michael Jackson's deep dissatisfaction with his appearance, his nightmares and chronic sleep problems, his tendency to remain hyper-compliant especially with his father, and to remain childlike throughout his adult life are in many ways consistent with the effects of this chronic maltreatment he endured as a young child.

In 1964, Michael and Marlon joined the Jackson Brothers—a band formed by brothers Jackie, Tito, and Jermaine—as backup musicians playing congas and tambourine. Jackson later began performing backup vocals and dancing. When he was eight, Jackson began sharing the lead vocals with his older brother Jermaine, and the group's name was changed to The Jackson 5. The band toured the Midwest extensively from 1966 to 1968, frequently performing at a string of black clubs known as the "chitlin' circuit", where they often opened stripteases and other adult acts. In 1966, they won a major local talent show with renditions of Motown hits and James Brown's "I Got You (I Feel Good)", led by Michael.

The coming years were to be more revealing of what Michael was made of. With Thriller (1982), Bad (1987), Dangerous (1991), History (1995), Invincible (2001)

All his videos are not the commonly found type of videos. They had a taste of originality and perfection embedded in them. Sometimes I wonder how long it took them to perfect the dance steps. Michael meant perfection and his team had a tall challenge catching up with his pace of work. With such videos he shot for the Bad Tour (1987-1989), Dangerous World Tour(1992-1993) and the HIStory World Tour(1996-1997), all of which I later have, Michael swept me off my feet.

One thing ran through all of his videos – originality – aiming to do the extra ordinary. His songs were not just sing alongs, but songs with very deep messages and meanings. Michael once said “I don’t wanna be another canon on the assembly line.’’ With this at the back of his mind Michael set standards for other entertainers to follow. He refused to copy anyone.

Influence on people...

Today his dance step is being imitated and his songs are being remixed by other musicians. Jackson throughout his career transformed the art of the music video and paved the way for modern pop music. Daily Telegraph writer Tom Utley described Jackson in 2003 as "extremely important" and a "genius". For much of his career, he had an "unparalleled" level of worldwide influence over the younger generation through his musical and humanitarian contributions. Jackson's music and videos, such as Thriller, fostered racial diversity in MTV's roster, helped to put the relatively new channel into public awareness, and steered the channel's focus from rock to pop music and R&B, shaping the channel into a form that proved enduring. Jackson's work continues to influence numerous hip hop, rock, pop and R&B artists, including Jennifer Lopez, Beyoncé, Mariah Carey, Mýa, Usher, Adam Lambert, Green Day, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Madonna, Alien Ant Farm, Ludacris, Ciara, and Sean P. Diddy Combs among many others. BET described Jackson "as quite simply the greatest entertainer of all time" and someone who "revolutionized the music video and brought dances like the moonwalk to the world. Jackson’s sound, style, movement and legacy continue to inspire artists of all genres."

Allmusic's Steve Huey describes Jackson as "an unstoppable juggernaut, possessed of all the skills to dominate the charts seemingly at will: an instantly identifiable voice, eye-popping dance moves, stunning musical versatility and loads of sheer star power". In the mid-1980s, Time magazine's pop music critic, Jay Cocks, noted "Jackson is the biggest thing since The Beatles. He is the hottest single phenomenon since Elvis Presley. He just may be the most popular black singer ever". In 1990, Vanity Fair cited Jackson as the most popular artist in the history of show business. In 2007, Jackson said, "Music has been my outlet, my gift to all of the lovers in this world. Through it, my music, I know I will live forever." And indeed Michael lives forever.

As for his surgeries, Michael was human and never claimed to be otherwise. So I take it as one of the attributes of man - namely, having a negative aspect of ones' life. Since I cannot claim to be perfect, I do not have the right to judge him. However, his good deeds greatly outshine his misdeeds.

Awards...

Michael Jackson was inducted onto the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1980 as member of The Jacksons and in 1984 as solo artist. Throughout his career he received numerous honors and awards, including the World Music Awards' Best-Selling Pop Male Artist of the Millennium, the American Music Award's Artist of the Century Award and the Bambi Pop Artist of the Millennium Award. He was a double-inductee of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, once as a member of The Jackson 5 in 1997 and later as a solo artist in 2001. Jackson was also inducted in several other hall of fames, including Vocal Group Hall of Fame (as The Jackson 5 member) in 1999 and the Songwriters Hall of Fame in 2002.

In 2010, Jackson was inducted into the Dance Hall of Fame as the first (and currently only) dancer from the world of pop and rock 'n' roll. His awards include many Guinness World Records (eight in 2006 alone), 13 Grammy Awards (as well as the Grammy Legend Award and the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award), 26 American Music Awards (including the "Artist of the Century" and "Artist of the 1980s")—more than any artist—, 13 number one singles in the US in his solo career—more than any other male artist in the Hot 100 era—and estimated sales of up to 750 million records worldwide, making him the world's best selling male solo pop artist. On December 29, 2009, the American Film Institute recognized Jackson's death as a "moment of significance" saying, "Michael Jackson's sudden death in June at age 50 was notable for the worldwide outpouring of grief and the unprecedented global eulogy of his posthumous concert rehearsal movie This Is It." Michael Jackson also received a Doctor of Humane Letters Degree from the United Negro College Fundand also an Honorary Doctorate of Humane Letters from Fisk University.

Awards loved Michael and he kept receiving and receiving.

Earnings...

Michael has twice been named as the "#1 Entertainer of the Year" on the Forbes list based on his earnings. In the last 25 years of Jackson's lifetime, it is estimated he made more than $300 million from his own music royalties and another $400 million from concerts. In the 1980s, Jackson became the biggest musical act in the world with Thriller alone making him $125 million. In 2002, Jackson stated he had made Sony several billion dollars throughout his career.

Some analysts have speculated that his music catalog holdings could be worth billions of dollars.

This speculation however is contradicted by financial documents obtained by the Associated Press, which showed that as of March 31, 2007, Jackson's 50 percent stake in the Sony/ATV Music Publishing catalog (his most prized asset) was worth $390.6 million and Michael Jackson's net worth was $236 million. The catalog owns and controls many different record companies and has rights to more than 500,000 songs, including songs by The Beatles, Elvis Presley, Eminem, Akon, Shakira, Björk, Boyz II Men and Lady Gaga, among hundreds of others. The company is one of the largest music publishers in the world and is believed to generate up to $2.5 billion a year; The Beatles' hits alone bring in $30 million to $45 million a year. Jackson's other publishing firm, Mijac, which publishes songs written by Jackson himself and which used to be administered by competitor Warner/Chappell Music, is valued to be worth at least $450 million.

And sadly…his death...

On June 26, 2009, I heard the worst news of the year – that Michael Jackson passed away the previous day. Reports have it that Jackson died while in his bed at his rented mansion at 100 North Carolwood Drive in the Holmby Hills district of Los Angeles. Attempts at resuscitating him by Conrad Murray, his personal physician, were unsuccessful. Los Angeles Fire Department paramedics received a 911 call at 12:22 (PDT, 19:22 UTC), arriving three minutes later at Jackson's location. He was reportedly not breathing and CPR was performed. Resuscitation efforts continued en route to the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, and for more than an hour after arriving there at 1:13 (20:13 UTC). He was pronounced dead at 2:26 local time (21:26 UTC). Jackson's death triggered a global outpouring of grief.

Till date, his death is still like dream. I watched his rehearsals for the O2 Arena concerts slated to take off on July 13, 2009 and end in March 2010. Its hard to believe that the supersonic dance moves I saw were those of someone who was very sick as reported by some sections of the media. Even at death, the King of Pop reigns on. His works can never die with him. Interestingly, he still makes millions of dollars even in death.

Lastline...

Michael Jackson was very hardworking, creative and never satisfied with his levels of successes. This made him set very high standards for himself. Three things made him and his works to be outstanding - RELEVANCE, PERFECTION, CREATIVITY and ORIGINALITY !!!

Related posts :
9ice ... be inspired
Inspirations : Intro

Inspirations : Intro.

2012-10-03T12:26:00.002-07:00

There are a lot of people out there who are discouraged, depressed and frustrated because their dreams are far from being achieved due to various challenges, some, seemingly insurmountable. Some are considering giving up on trying. Some have even given up already.

”Inspirations” is a blog section (called Labels) I created to inspire such people and to also let them know that all the great achievers of today faced obstacles. The major reason why they are great today is that they did not allow the obstacles to be permanent – they crossed every hurdle that needed to be crossed, and those who still alive are still crossing hurdles.

For those waiting on God, you will find some of my blog posts in this section really inspiring. You will get to see that indeed, God is still God.

Related posts :
9ice ... be inspired
Michael jackson : A powerful source of inspiration.
Food for thought for weekend

Tribute To Nigerians And Nigeria @ 52

2012-10-01T04:52:00.002-07:00

As my dear country Nigeria, celebrates its 52nd independence anniversary today, I want to dedicate this evergreen song of my BEST ENTERTAINER FOR LIFE, Michael Jackson, to all Nigerians and every person living in Nigeria, who has had a hand, directly or indirectly in the state of things in the country. I urge you to critically ponder over the message in the song as you sing along or read through the lyrics.

I present to you MAN IN THE MIRROR by Michael Jackson....

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On

My Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat

Who Am I, To Be Blind Pretending Not To See Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go
That's Why I Want You To Know

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na Na Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways (Ooh!)
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror (Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
(Change His Ways-Ooh!)
And No Message Could've
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . .Change!

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror,
(Man In The Mirror-Oh Yeah!)
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
('Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can't Close Your . . .Your Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .Mind!)
That Man, That Man, That
Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
(Man In The Mirror, Oh Yeah!)
That Man, That Man, That Man
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Man
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah (Oh Yeah!)
Gonna Feel Real Good Now!
Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Yeah Yeah!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .
I'm Gonna Make A Change
It's Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
(Change . . .)
Just Lift Yourself
You Know You've Got To Stop It. Yourself !
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change,
Today!
Hoo! (Man In The Mirror)
You Got To...You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
Brother . . .
Hoo!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I've Got To Get
That Man, That Man . . .
(Man In The Mirror)
You've Got To
You've Got To Move! Come
On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up! Stand Up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift
Yourself, Now!
(Man In The Mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Know It! You Know It! You Know It! You Know . . .
(Change . . .)

Make That Change.

God Bless Nigeria and Nigerians !!!

Tribute To All Those Going Through The Pains of Wars And Terrorism

2012-10-01T04:18:00.004-07:00

One thing that will make MICHAEL JACKSON to forever remain relevant is because his songs will forever be relevant. Here, I present one of my best tunes and permanent ring tone. This is a song that forces tears to gather on my eyeballs; not only because of the strong message, but because of the extra ordinary melody that goes with the song.

I present to you a tribute to all those who are going through so much pain as a result of terrorist activities and full blown war all over the world. I join Michael in saying HEAL THE WORLD.......

There's A Place In Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could Be Much Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try You'll Find There's No Need To Cry
In This Place You'll Feel There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways To Get There
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Little Space Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough For The Living
Make A Better Place For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why There's A Love That Cannot Lie
Love Is Strong
It Only Cares For Joyful Giving
If We Try We Shall See In This Bliss We Cannot Feel
Fear Or Dread We Stop Existing And Start Living

Then It Feels That Always Love's Enough For
Us Growing So Make A Better World
Make A Better World...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

And The Dream We Were
Conceived In Will Reveal A Joyful Face
And The World We Once Believed In
Will Shine Again In Grace
Then Why Do We Keep Strangling Life
Wound This Earth
Crucify Its Soul
Though It's Plain To See
This World Is Heavenly
Be God's Glow

We Could Fly So High
Let Our Spirits Never Die
In My Heart I Feel You Are All My Brothers
Create A World With No Fear
Together We'll Cry Happy Tears
See The Nations Turn
Their Sword Into Plowshares

We Could Really Get There
If You Cared Enough For The Living
Make A Little Space
To Make A Better Place...

Chorus >>>>>>

Food For Thought For The Weekend

2012-09-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

Hi. How was your week? Just want to share a few words with you....Stay away from Anger. It hurts you and everybody around. If you are right then there is no need to get angry. And if you are wrong then you don't have to get angry.

Patience with family is love. Patience with others is respect. Patience with self is confidence and Patience with GOD is faith.

Never Think Hard about the PAST, It brings Tears. Don't think more about the FUTURE, it brings Fear. Live this Moment with a Smile. It brings Cheer.

Every test in our life makes us bitter or better. Every problem comes to make us or break us. The choice is ours whether we become victims or victors.

Search for a beautiful heart not a beautiful face. Beautiful things are not always good but good things are always beautiful.

Do you know why God created gaps between fingers? So that someone who is special to you comes and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever. Never forget this advice. Happiness keeps You Sweet. Trials keep You Strong. Sorrows keep You Human. Failures keeps You Humble. Success keeps You Glowing. But Only God keeps You Going.

Do have a splendid weekend.

When Is The Ideal Age To Get Married?

2012-09-28T07:42:00.002-07:00

When is the ideal age for a man to get married? This is rather a simple but difficult question to answer, just by a waive of hand. While some will say there is no ideal age, some will argue that a man or woman should get married, at most, at a particular age.

Let us examine a few issues. We will certainly (perhaps some people will not agree with this) want to witness the wedding of our children before we say good bye to this world. We would also want to carry our grand children too. That weans we have to get married at thirty or earlier, so that we can see these things happen by say, sixty or there about. This implies that our children have to get married at thirty or earlier or there about, for our wish (and I believe it is yours too) to come to pass.

A traditional wedding

So, what if a couple gets married at forty plus. The chances that the above dreams will come to pass in one's active years is slim. The average people are getting married these days age these days seems to be 30-35 years plus.

If you ask me, I think it is good to marry early. This is even compulsory for the women, since some women these days attain menopause earlier than it used to be. Moreover, for the women, child bearing has to be considered too as the risks in safe delivery increases with age. Also, early marriage allows for proper child spacing, which impacts on the well being of the woman. In addition, it allows the couple to give the best to their children in their active years.

So, what do you think ?

Related posts :
Child delivery : Tribute to God and all mothers
Childlessness : marriage turned soar
Divorce : The fate of children

Child delivery : Tribute To God Almighty and All mothers, Especially My Late Sister

2012-09-21T07:18:00.001-07:00

After marriage, the best news one can hear is that the couple are about to become parents. Given the number of couples who have had to wait for so many months or years to have this joy; or those who are yet to have this kind of joy after many months or years of marriage, one can imagine the amount of joy and excitement that usually greets the news that the woman is pregnant. The excitement is heightened when the pregnancy is actually the first. In some cases, a party is thrown and testimonies are made in the church.

As the pregnancy grows into weeks and then months, the excitement multiplies. Prayers, anti natal visits and all sorts of advice come from all sorts of people. The excitement reaches its peak when the pregnancy reaches the seventh month or thereabout when the sex of the baby is known and is probably what the couples had hoped for. At this time, it is expected that the baby’s (or babies’) needs would have been bought.

Child delivery is an Amazing Grace from GOD
and a display of His awesome magnanimity.

And then the moment finally comes when the baby is ready to come into the world !!!

It was Thursday, 24^th July 2008, I had my first encounter with the real life version of what I used to watch in films – when a man has to wait outside the labour ward and await the outcome of the nine months journey which he had escorted his wife all along - an outcome which no one except GOD could say exactly how it would turn out to be. The labour pain started at exactly 10.15p.m., apparently an answered prayer, as I had asked GOD to please make it happen at a time I can find help. I have never been as confused all my life. I was vibrating all over when my wife told me that it seems the moment has finally come.

By the amazing grace and mercies of GOD, my wife delivered safely, a ‘’beautiful’’ boy, after ten ‘’gruesome’’ hours of waiting. It was the longest ten hours I have ever had in all of my life. In fact, my wife said she had almost concluded delivery before the mid wives came to finish the job. Praise the LORD. Three months later, again by the amazing grace and mercies of GOD, my younger sister put to bed. Wao !!!

With these testimonies and many before it, pregnancy meant go to the hospital when the labour pain comes; deliver and then jubilation follows. Even though I have heard of complications that ended up with sorrow, I still saw pregnancy the way GOD planned it – a means of procreation. Simple!!!

However, this confidence suffered a serious setback on Tuesday, 8^thMay, 2012 (a day to my birthday). At about 10a.m., I got the worst phone call I have ever (and would ever) received, from my younger brother. The news? My younger sister had died during child birth earlier in the morning. I did not know when I dropped the call and threw the phone on the table. It was like a dream to me. I felt like removing all my clothes and throw them away. I had a feeling which only a Physiatrist could describe properly. Like I said earlier, pregnancy meant go to the hospital when the labour pain comes; deliver and let the jubilation begin.

My dear late Sister

As I got to know later, my sister bled to death!!! Help could not come immediately. She was taken to a maternity home with little or no medical facility and personnel to handle complications. She had to be rushed to a hospital, which was not even nearby, for help. Imagine a woman in pain losing blood over a long distance. My sweet sister and her baby who was fully delivered could not be saved!!! And so I lost my dearly beloved sister.

Perhaps, just perhaps, my sister and her baby could have been saved if the right personnel and facilities were on ground to attend to them when every second mattered.

At this time, my wife was about seven months pregnant. I have never been as fearful as I was in my entire life. I prayed the way I have never done before. My sister’s death made me to now see pregnancy differently. Pregnancy was not supposed to be a source of death. I was so afraid. Not even my prayers and prayer requests and other safe deliveries could rebuild my positive perception of pregnancy.

On Wednesday, 11^th July, 2012, the day and moment came. Against all fears, GOD in His infinite grace and mercy granted my wife safe arrival. However, it was not without a ‘’fight.’’ My wife had a tear and started bleeding. Two different actions were taken to stop the bleeding to no avail. It was the third, and GOD’s amazing mercies that stopped the bleeding. What could have happened if the doctors did not know of the third technique?

After this last experience, I now see mothers as special beings created by God and who should be treated as such. They carry the responsibility which cannot be delegated. Responsibility, which sometimes ends in fatality. My sister is gone, but the husband is still alive. What a sacrifice. Obviously, he will remarry. Life goes on. She died, like so many other mothers, while carrying a ‘’cross’’ that was meant to bring joy to the family, if she arrives safely. Where they don’t, they bear ALL the pain and sometimes never live to tell how much pain they are going through. What a responsibility.

Are you pregnant or perhaps a friend or relation is? Or perhaps your wife is pregnant? Please allow me to share a few tips human efforts that can be taken as preventive measures against having problematic pregnancies/deliveries:-

*A very good hospital is a MUST. If possible, opt for a near-by hospital. Labour pains can become fatal if urgent attention is not given to the woman. Some women have died in the course of delivering on the way to the hospital or at home. Avoid a penny-wise-pound-foolish mistake.

*Ante natal appointments MUST be kept religiously.

*Regular scans should be conducted to ascertain the position of the baby and the placenta.

*Do not wait until the next antenatal appointment before you complain of headaches, abdominal pain, dizziness, foul odour from the vagina and other unusual feelings.

*Antenatal check up is NOT complete without checking the heart beat/health of the baby in the womb. This could save the life of a woman if the growing baby had died in the womb without the woman knowing.

*Avoid taking things that are injurious to the unborn baby such as cigarettes, alcohol, native concoctions and foods that are capable of making the baby too big for easy passage from the vagina.

*NEVER agree to a caesarian section where you are not sure of the reputation of the hospital for such operations.

*Men should endeavor to follow their wives to antenatal checkups. They can help remind their wives of what the Doctor said, and insist on some things which the woman would have treated with levity.

*Finally, above all, be very prayerful. It is no hidden secret that the best of hospitals in the world today have lost countless women during child birth. However, it will be very foolish of anyone to say that because he/she is praying, then no human effort is important.

I doff my hat for every mother out there. I hold you all in high esteem. I have been to the labour ward twice and have ‘’helped my wife carry her pregnancy’’ twice and would therefore not need anyone to tell me what pregnancy and child delivery is all about. For the expectant mothers, I wish you the grace and mercies of God. But please you and your husband do everything humanly possible to have a safe delivery and leave the rest to GOD for perfection.

To my dearly beloved sister, in whose memory this blog post is dedicated, I want to say it’s still too hard to believe that she is no more. Its insane to question GOD. But sweet memories lingers forever in the hearts of those you left behind, especially your son, Simi.

May your sweet soul rest in perfect peace, in Jesus name, amen.

Building A Strong Relationship With Your Child

2012-09-20T16:37:00.001-07:00

In my last post I dwelled on ’’parent-child relationship gone awry’’ where I discussed a common problem in most homes – troubled parent-child relationships. There I highlighted common signs of troubled parent-child relationships.

Here, I want to share with you proven remedies to such unproductive, destructive and unenviable family problem.

Below are tips on building a strong relationship between a parent and the children:-

*it is a parent’s responsibility to do everything within his power to make his child happy. Doing this always sends a message across to the child that you care and love him/her.

*No two kids are the same. So, do not use the character of one to serve as a bench mark for the other. It has the negative effect of creating enmity and unhealthy rivalry between them. You are obviously going to be caught in the middle of the acrimony.

*Be slow to punish to your child. In fact, my experience with working with teenagers for the past fourteen years has shown that punishing children has been less productive as compared to talking to a child. Talking has really been very helpful in my own relationship with my son and other children I have worked with. Talking builds up parent-child bonding and lets you into some problems of the child which punishment can never bring up.

*remember that in adulthood, there is a word called mistake. Children make tons of mistakes. If you can make mistakes and expect understanding, then your child deserves much more understanding.

*make yourself accessible to your children. Where you create a wall around yourself, then, apart from straining your relationship with your children, you leave them with no option than to take their problems to outsiders. This can be really dangerous.

*Bonding can be boosted by regularly taking your children out. Eat out once in a while. Take them to the zoo, museums and other recreational facilities. Sometimes, when you go visiting friends, take them along. If you ask me, one of the things I am known for in my community is the fact that I always go out with my son (my daughter is yet to join the outdoor fun. She is about two months as of date).

*As much as you can, praise, and sometimes reward your child when an outstanding feat is achieved. A durable and very useful gift would be adviseable.

*Never run down a child who did not do well in school or who has not been very helpful at home. This could create in the child a lasting negative attitude towards you. Encourage such a child and inculcate in them an “I can do it” attitude.

*When you are not at work, spend quality time with your family, especially your children. This has a very strong role to play in bonding. This is my favorite pastime.

*Always make your children feel important in your decision making. It simply shows that they mean more than just being children to you.

*Call from work when you can. Ask how school went. Just say something nice. I do this every day.

*If you are into one bad behavior or practice, like smoking, excessive drinking, keeping late nights or indulging in criminal activities, you could be sowing the seeds of hatred in the heart of your child. Children naturally feel very bad when someone outside taunts them because of their parents’ actions.

*Make your child appreciate the difference between discipline and hatred/wickedness. No child likes being scolded or punished. Your child can hate you for it if you do not handle the situation very well. I do a lot of talking with my son. In fact I talk more than actual punishment.

*Do not feel unconcerned when you notice sadness on your child’s face or where you notice that all is not well with the relationship between you and your child.

*It is not out of place when you say you are sorry to your child. It does not reduce your father or mother figure. It humbles your child and builds up the trait of humility in the child.

*Allow your children guided freedom around the house. Do not be too unnecessarily strict in the usage of home appliances. Do not make feel restricted like visitors.

*Explain every rule you set in the house. Make them see the rules as guides to good behavior rather than rules. Do not turn your home to a military barrack.

*Every time your children need your attention, please give it to them. If you are busy, politely explain to them, and ask that you attend to them later, if the issue can wait.

*Last but not the least, always pray for, and with your child. Prayer time is a solemn moment and an ideal bonding tool. Also, it affords you the opportunity of committing the relationship between you and your children into the hands of God. Make use of it.

I have applied most of these tips and they have yielded wonderful results. I have also seen other wonderful relationships that are premised on a combination of these tips. I strongly believe that you would also have good stories to tell if you apply any of these tips that is appropriate to you.

Happy parenting.

Thank you for your time.

Parent-Child Relationship Gone Awry

2012-09-20T16:30:00.004-07:00

One of the greatest sources of joy in any family is to have children. Their presence in the home is a sign of the mercies and grace of God as no one, I repeat, no one, can say he or she can pay God the right price for a child; or that it his/her good deeds that bore him a child (or children). Indeed children are a heritage of the Lord.

The nature of childhood is unique: they make us happy and sometimes they really get us really annoyed. The first ten years or so, of the life of a human being is really a period that requires a lot of patience and tolerance on the part of the parents. It calls for a lot of maturity on their part. It also calls for a lot of restraint on their part. In addition, it calls for a lot of understanding and acceptance of the fact that children will always be children, especially during the first ten years of their life.

Be that as it may, it hurts me when I see parents want to change the unchangeable – that children in their early years cannot reason like adult, or behave or accept that they are adults. I feel a pain in my heart when I see parents curse or use vulgar language against their children, irrespective of their age. It hurts more when the children are in their earlier years. Why should parents use expressions like : idiot; you are mad; you are stupid ;fuck you; ass hole; bastard ; useless child; it will not be well with you; you must be out of your mind; foolish boy/girl; and such other vulgar language on their child? Why do they make negative pronouncements on a child?

The word of God, the free giver of these wonderful gifts says that that ‘’the tongue has the power of life and death ‘’ (Proverbs 18:21, NIV)

It thus follows that whatever we say to our children are actually seeds being sowed, either for their good or their destruction. I cannot think of a blessing or curse which someone can place on a child that is greater than that of the parents. Why would a parent wish his or her child evil, like being mad, unsuccessful, stupid or useless? It hurts.

Closely related to this is an unusually hostile relationship between a parent and the children. This creates extreme fear rather than respect for the parents, discomfort for the child, life of sadness for the child, concealment of personal challenges/problems by the child, absent mindedness in the child, withdrawal tendencies in the child, lack of confidence, and in very severe cases, a child can think of suicide.

Picture the life of such a child in your mind.

For me, I love my kids a lot. Everyone around me knows I do. They make me happy. Their happiness is my happiness, and their pain is my pain. Their success is my success and their failure is mine too. One thing I have done for the past four years is trying as much as I can to strike a balance between being a strict and no-nonsense father and being a caring and loved farther. I have tried not to allow my four year old son (my daughter is actually about two months old) to fear me, but to respect me as a father. I discipline him when he misbehaves after repeated warnings, and later I lovingly make him see why he is being disciplined, so that it will not seem like I did it out of hatred. I guess I have I have succeeded in striking that balance. Praise God !

What about you? If you are not married, perhaps this post will play an additional role in preparing you for successful parenting.

Permit me to share with you signs of a bad relationship between the parent(s) and the child:-

*where the child feels sad when the parent(s) is around, and the sadness is because of the parent(s)

*when the child cannot discuss personal problems with the parent(s)

*when the child always prefers to sit far from the parent(s)

*when the child finds it very hard to play with the parent(s)

*when the child enjoys the company of one parent more than the another

*when the child never feels the absence of the parent(s)

*When the child rejoices when the parent wants to go out, and the happiness is related to the parent(s)

*When the child is unfriendly with the parent(s)

*When the child easily is unnecessarily rude to a particular parent and not to the other.

*when a child is only active – plays and talks – when he is in the mist of his friends, and not with his parents or a particular parent.

The list above is not exhaustive. It merely presents some commonly found symptoms of parent-child relationship gone soar. The good news is that all of them have remedial actions (see my post on “building a strong relationship with your children’’). It is just a matter of self-examination and resolve that you want to have a wonderful, rewarding and God-fearing relationship with your children.

It is my prayer that God Almighty, the free giver of our children will give us the wisdom to raise them up in the way that is pleasing and acceptable to him.

HAPPY PARENTING

Childlessness : Marriage Turned Soar

2012-09-20T16:24:00.002-07:00

It is the dream of every man and woman to, someday, gather people to witness the solemnization of their relationships. It is a day every bachelor or spinster looks forward to. Friends and family members rejoice with the newly wed and look forward to celebrating with them nine months (all things being equal) from the day of the wedding.

And then the countdown starts. Sadly, for some couples, this count down never starts. And then anxiety and frustration sets in. Usually the parents of the husband, especially the mother, become apprehensive. In some cases, the man looks outside for a child. In extreme cases, the man files for a divorce, of course after confirming that the problem is not from him. In all of these, the woman suffers more. In today’s world where women reach menopause as early as their early thirties, one can understand the extent of trauma they go through. Childlessness is therefore one single home destroyer and source of pain and anguish to so many couples globally.

I really feel for them and hence decided to contribute my quota towards bringing overwhelming joy to some of the traumatised marriages and to also help to prevent more cases of childlessness.

However since I am not a medical doctor, and may thus not be able to do a very professional analysis, I am only dwelling on some man-made causes of childlessness. Some of them are actually true life experiences.

They are as follows :-

*Sexually transmitted diseases – This is one of the most common causes of infertility in both men and women. I know of a lady who confessed to her friend that a test she carried out confirmed that the STD she got from her boyfriend had permanently destroyed her womb. This was in 2004. Till date she has not been able to conceive. Multiple sex partners is a major source of STDs.

*Abortion – Abortion is another major case of childlessness in many women. A lady once confessed to having had her womb damaged while undergoing abortion, which apparently was not the first time.

*Alcohol – This seriously affects sperm counts in men and increases the chances of birth defects in women. A very high level of alcohol in the woman’s blood can lead to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. This is growth, mental, and physical problems that occurs in a baby when a woman drinks alcohol during pregnancy. Alcohol intake can also cause miscarriage or stillbirth, premature delivery, abnormal heart structure, behavior problems, mental retardation, poor growth and infant death.

*weight issues – excessive and careless eating habits leading to overweight can also affect the ability of a woman to get pregnant. Poor eating habits leading to underweight have also been found out to have negative consequences on pregnancy.

* Smoking – this has been discovered to have the effect of lowering the sperm count in men, and increases the chances of miscarriages, and premature births in women.

*Drugs – drugs like marijuana and anabolic steroids can affect sperm counts in men. Also, cocaine use in pregnant women can cause severe retardations and kidney problems in babies.

*Exposure to toxins or chemicals in the work place or surrounding can cause mutations, birth defects, spontaneous abortion, disorders of infertility. Lead, radiation, ethylene oxide are some chemicals that can affect conception in women.

*wearing tight clothes – in order for the testes to produce sufficient quality and quantity of sperm, the temperature of the testes must be lower than the core body temperature. That is why the testes are located outside the body. Testes were made to receive enough air. Thus wearing of tight clothes like boxers and briefs are obviously not the best as they can cause over heat resulting in low sperm count for the man. Studies have shown that low sperm count is the greatest cause of infertility in men.

It follows therefore that some of the many cases of childlessness in marriages are actually the aftermath of some habits and indulgence by both the man and the woman before marriage or during marriage.

So be careful how you have fun, eat, relax, dress, release frustration and generally live your life, as your lifestyle, if not checked, might have negative effect on your future happiness.

Wishing you happy parenting (or happy parenting in advance, as the case be).

Thank you for your time.

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