Fat Wuz Here

Fear of distance

2012-03-02T14:21:00.001-08:00

I remember last year so clearly. I felt like I had finally mastered the half marathon distance. I felt strong and able to conquer mountains. Then, the marathon came. And boy did that marathon tear me to shreds.

I was a total rookie when it came to Portland and the fear of long distance running still hasn't left me. I know a half marathon is completely doable in my mind, but there is this incredible fear to even go out and attempt it.

I have one month to prep my mind and body before I dive into a training plan again. Here are my general concerns:

Nutrition- I never got my fuel just right. I have always struggled with stomach issues and fatigue on the course.
Footwear- I'm beginning to run in my Vibrams again. Right now it feels natural still and I'm hoping I can build back up to wear them for the half.
Racing fees- I am afraid if I register for this race and just can't do it I'm going to be so disappointed and waste more money. It's not like I've never run a half before so I know very well how my best feels and how my worst feels. I want to do my best

Fear is how I stayed overweight for so long. Fear is how I never tried the things I was passionate about.

I have to at least try and forget about all the what ifs that are keeping me back. More importantly it's never just about me. If I let the fear consume me I lose opportunities to share the gospel with others. That's something to be afraid of.

I know I'll do it, I believe I can.

Adding

2012-02-25T15:02:00.002-08:00

This

These

Happy Running and Fitness this weekend!

How Fat Wuz Here got her groove back

2012-02-24T21:10:00.001-08:00

So here I am...

I'm observing lent this year (40 days). It has to do with my eating habits and my exercise habits.

When Lent is over I will divulge the details of what I gave up, but for now I'll talk about exercise.

Basically I'm cutting back on running. I'm doing a lot of walking and I'm taking a break from most crossfit activities because my caloric intake would not be conducive to support a crossfit WOD. I'm very happy with this simplicity in my life as it gives me more time to focus on the act of growing my relationship with Christ and to prepare my heart to celebrate Easter.

However, this morning at the gym, I did do about 10 minutes of running to find that I am losing my endurance. It happened rather quickly for me. Right now I'm okay with it because I feel like I'm in the place I should be. I do think once these 40 days pass it will be time again to train for a half marathon.

Those little 10 minutes on the treadmill may have felt hard, but it was just enough for me to say I'm still happy with running. I still have that passion for it and I'm still willing to work at it.

I think since I've gained some weight back I was afraid. Afraid that I was on my way back to obesity and that I would lose all interest in all of the things that have brought me joy over these past 4years. It's comforting to know that isn't the truth at all and I'm still going right along.

So while I'm going to have to start at square one with my endurance I know I'm not failing, I'm just redirecting to a new course and we all know a little hard work and perseverance never hurt anyone. :)

DNS

2012-02-18T21:32:00.000-08:00

I had my first official Did Not Start today. I was really looking forward to this race, getting to see a friend I met at another race last year, and trying for a new 10k PR. But, alas, my youngest came down with a cold and kept me up all night. I woke up feeling not so hot either. We also had a lunch date with family, but that had to be cancelled too.

Bummer.

Surprisingly I wasn't so bummed about the race. I let it roll off my back, but as I lay in bed, in the light of the early morning sun, I suddenly didn't want to register for any more races. I just don't wanna.

I kept wondering where that fire and spark had gone that kept me going after each new course and challenge?

I think it's just that...I'm lonely. My running buddy Michelle is in her last month of pregnancy and she's ready to hit the pavement again. I honestly think I miss our conversations. Our pushing each other. Our seeking out adventures. It's been nearly 9 months of no running with her. And where did everyone else go? A few more of my friends are starting the Couch to 5k program and I am so excited for them, but running alone just kinda...sucks.

You can only pump yourself up to music so many times. You can only pretend the person next to you is running with you on the treadmill at the gym before you feel a little psycho. Motivation...POOF.

So while I lament and feel sad and lonely I'll leave you with some pictures that remind me it's not always this way and one day things will balance back out and I will again have some running fellowship.

And the Running?

2012-01-30T20:33:00.000-08:00

No matter what new passion I form, running seems to be the one passion that stays constant. It rarely gets old or boring enough to lose it's flavor. It's always there for me to pick me up.

After my first race in 2009 I was like a race addict, then the next year I scheduled some more. It could be the marathon that slowed me down, but that desire to participate in races is coming alive again. I've been window shopping some races and thinking about ones I've wanted to do in the past, but had things get in the way of me doing them.

So here's my list of possible races from now until June.

10k 2/18

I ran the 10k once before and got a PR on the course (which I beat last year by a minute) Since my speed has been picking up lately thanks to Crossfit, I'm considering this one as a test. However I better decide soon before the race fees go up. I'll probably register this week.

Half Marathon 6/3

See Jane Run Half has kinda been my "thang" for the past two years and I really had a blast last year. It just feels right to have this on my calendar.

Sirena 18 5/12

This race has been on my radar since they announced the new 18 mile course. I have about 15 weeks to prepare. Being that my last long run was 7 miles and I felt great, I think I can start at that distance and build from there. I also want to test my abilities now that I've added Crossfit to the regimen. Besides all that they have the BEST race swag when it comes to cute apparel.

All these races take place before my epic 30th birthday and I think it will be a great way to finish out my 20's. I better start saving my pennies and get on registering!

Wiggly Eyebrows

2012-01-27T16:14:00.000-08:00

I get this look a lot when I talk about Crossfit.

What is it?
Be Careful, you're going to get hurt.
Why?!

Well, I've said those things to myself so I'll answer a couple.

Why?

Because if you couldn't tell, I've been in kind of a funk since the marathon in October. When I got on that plane to go home I was sore, burnt out, and over running. My heart wanted to be inspired and motivated to get out there and do it all over again, and I pushed a 5k in December, but my body was not completely in it.

So when you hit a dead end, but you want to keep going, you turn around and find another way. I needed something to motivate me to keep working on my fitness, to keep running, to challenge myself daily.

I found that in Crossfit. As I was running the WOD (workout of the day) of 8x400 on the treadmill at the gym I was on the 7th interval and I was thinking this was all I could do. I had been running the intervals at about a 9:30 min/mi pace and I was feeling tired. But then I thought, just try, it's only a quarter mile until the finish line. So I pushed myself and I did it and I was glad I did it.

I get excited each day when I check my phone or the website and I look over the WOD and always question if I can do it or not. If I can't do the exact workout, how can I modify it to still challenge myself? The challenge is motivating me to at least try and most of the time I shock the pants off myself.

Be Careful, you're going to get hurt!

You're absolutely right. If you're not careful and you rush into anything you will most likely get hurt. I'm not a pro at anything, but I think my nearly 4 years of being immersed in fitness and weight loss has to count for something. I still have a lot to learn, but you can only learn by doing. If I get hurt, then I get hurt. What is the point of not doing something because you're afraid of potentially getting hurt. Then you've done nothing, risked nothing, and mostly gained nothing. Failing teaches you more than not doing anything at all. Being stupid teaches you nothing because you're not in the position to want to learn.

So I'm not walking in the way of a fool. Before my workout I

Study the exercise. If I'm not sure what it is I watch one of their hundreds of amazing demonstration videos. I watch it more than once if I'm still not sure.
I warm up.
I take my time and make sure I use the appropriate weight to challenge, but not hurt me.
I take the prescribed rest days.

The result?

I'm really having fun! I feel like I'm doing exactly what I need to be to keep that spark alive. I'm planning for races again and I'm making healthy choices all around. Basically I feel like I give-a-care again. It's affecting all aspects of my life and helping me to be the best I can be at this moment. Maybe I'll stick with Crossfit for a while, or maybe it will change one day, but for this moment and this day I'm choosing to take this chance and see where it takes me.

Have a great weekend everyone!

I drank the Kool-Aid

2012-01-17T11:05:00.000-08:00

and it's gooood.

Last week a brand new shiny issue of Runner's World Magazine showed up in my mailbox and I was excited. One of the articles I was most excited to read was about Crossfit and running. I have heard about Crossfit, but never knew exactly what it was. After I read the article I wanted to know more so I went to Crossfit.com and checked it out.

Here is what the website says Crossfit is:

CrossFit is the principal strength and conditioning program for many police academies and tactical operations teams, military special operations units, champion martial artists, and hundreds of other elite and professional athletes worldwide.

Our program delivers a fitness that is, by design, broad, general, and inclusive. Our specialty is not specializing. Combat, survival, many sports, and life reward this kind of fitness and, on average, punish the specialist.

The CrossFit program is designed for universal scalability making it the perfect application for any committed individual regardless of experience. We’ve used our same routines for elderly individuals with heart disease and cage fighters one month out from televised bouts. We scale load and intensity; we don’t change programs.

The article advised to pick four moves out and do that for a workout. So I dipped my toe in the water and decided on:

Box Jumps
Dead Lifts with a bar
Butterfly Crunches
Kettle Bell Swings

I warmed up for 10 minutes on the elliptical and then proceeded to the weight area to find myself a kettle bell and a box stand. I can't find either. So I went back to the abs area and there was none there either. Okay... Went to the front desk and asked the manager if she had either and she wasn't exactly sure what I was talking about. OKAY, my gym is not as new and improved as I thought. I described what they were and she let me know I could go up to the class studio and use the stackable aerobic steps up there.

I stacked the step about 4 levels high. I was not feeling great about this being they can wobble back to front. I only needed to do 10 jumps and I only missed once when I got distracted. I felt like I was going to bring the house down because the floor is so hollow and the noise resounds.

I finished those and grabbed a weighted bar. Did my dead lifts. Then I grabbed a 10lb hand weight and simulated some kettle bell swings, next time I may use a medicine ball. I finished with the butterfly crunches and then made my way out to the treadmill for intervals.

20 minutes later I was sweaty and out the door feeling GREAT. I knew this was the direction I wanted to head to give my workouts a blast. All together It was about a 35-40 minute workout.

The next day (Saturday) ended up being an unplanned rest day, but that day I found a Crossfit app for my phone that would give me a new workout each day. Sunday was a 5k. Yes!!

While it wasn't my fastest 5k, I made my goal of having negative splits and feeling good and strong the whole time.

Splits
1- 11:35
2-11:05
3- 10:41

3 miles in 33:21

Yesterday I went to the gym and did 5 rounds each of 12 wall balls and 12 toe-to-bars which look more like hanging knee ups right now, but I'll get there. I kept the 10 minute elliptical warm up and tried some new interval sprints on the treadmill after my crossfit session. It feels really good.

If you're in a rut with your exercise, need something to challenge you, or want to become stronger in your sport, I recommend you give Crossfit a try.** I feel so good after my workouts and I can feel muscles being worked that get neglected with some of the traditional free weights. Work within your limits and alter to fit your fitness level and them aim to get better each time. Oh and you may just see a lot of these moves on The Biggest Loser, Bob is a Crossfit fan. Happy Healthy Fitness everyone!

**Please do not forget to talk to your Doctor about starting a new program, especially if you are new to exercise or have an existing medical condition.

Ahh Friday

2012-01-13T14:42:00.000-08:00

I'll be honest, I started out this week with a REALLY bad additude.

Kid# 1 was back on early drop off at school (normally it's only on Wednesdays) and that day is always our hardest. However, my silver lining was that I could get to the gym and do some of the classes I have to miss because of his late drop off time.

Yes! I can finally try spin!

Until... Kid#2 got sick and we all know, NO sick kids in the gym daycare. Ugh.

I had promised the Hubbs that he could go to class three nights instead of two because of a breakfast date with friends I wanted to go on Saturday morning. I did everything I could those three nights to get my exercise in, but we all know I really really wanted to run. SO badly wanted to run.

Last night my bad additude was official and I was just worn out and tired. By 6pm I knew, even though I could have, I was not going to the gym, I was not going to do anything but go to bed early.

And I did. And I woke up feeling refreshed instead of like a zombie. I got ready and got everyone up without having to rush and we were all happy beings as we drove to school in the sub freezing temps.

Today no matter what I'm getting out for a run, inside or out, and I'm doing the workout I want to and I'm not going to be a Frany Frowny Face. I'm going to ignore people being rude and staring at me while I workout. I hate when people stare at you at the gym.

I'm hoping above all I get to do my desired workout, which is run on my favorite trail, followed by strength moves at a park where no one will be, and then finish the rest of my run and come home sweaty and tried. Until then I sit here in my gear waiting like a puppy at the window for the Hubbs to get home.

Have a great weekend everyone and be safe on your runs.

The first two weeks...

2012-01-12T14:18:00.000-08:00

Are always the hardest.

If you watch The Biggest Loser, you might be familiar with the dreaded week two. The week where the contestants mega pound shedding seems to come to a halt and they are left with only single digits...oh boo hoo I only lost 5lbs. I digress.

Week two of any quest can be a difficult one. Week one you are fresh with excitement, energy, and the drive to get it done. You make it through your first week triumphantly excited to see the results, if there are results you might be raring to get through week two.

If you're like me and week one has shown no effect, you get discouraged come week to and your momentum slows down.

I just passed week two of trying to get back on track, getting my weight and body fat % back down to a good level and in week two not only did I not see results, I gained 2 more pounds.

I've done some scrutinizing of my eating habits and exercise habits. In regards to my eating habits and the initial weight gain I had slipped back into some bad eating habits, using convenient processed food to get dinner on the table. Because I was adding veggies to it I thought I was balancing myself out, but I had neglected to think about the higher amount of calories those items contained. In regards to exercise, it wasn't happening enough and there was not enough variety or intensity in my workouts. I became very sedentary in this cold weather.

Okay so here we are at Week 3 and what are my choices?

Give up.
Keep going.

I'll take #2 please. The reality is I've gotten myself into this mess by not being vigilant. I have to accept the truth that I'm a formerly obese person who in only the last three years has changed that and really only in the last year has lived at a lower weight. My life is going to be challenging because those fat cells may smaller, but they haven't gone anywhere, they are still waiting and ready to be filled up.

So I'm staying on track, being aware and conscious of the efforts I'm making. Obviously if I'm doing everything right, and being honest with myself, and my weight keeps rising I will go see my Doctor to make sure everything checks out. There are reasons beyond diet and exercise that a person may gain weight.

So if you're starting a new program or your in the midst of week 2 of anything and you're just not sure this is going to work out or you're going to succeed, don't fret. Keep on chugging along, taking it day by day, and never choose choice #1. You can do this!

Just Move

2012-01-06T16:04:00.000-08:00

When I was a newbie to this whole exercise thing I was pretty stubborn. It had to look like XYZ and if I didn't get to do exactly what I had planned for that day then I got all miffed and I just wouldn't do anything. Result: unsuccessful weeks of no weight loss and being a meanie poo to my family.

This time around it's looking a little different. Say the Hubbs won't be home in time for me to run or go to the gym, one of my kids is sick, or maybe they're having a bad day and are throwing a million tantrums? What do I do to get my exercise in each and every day?

Walk

what the...

Walk everywhere. Got stairs? Walk up and down a bajillion times. Need something from the store? If it's a mile or less away, WALK. Park far away. Do all your shopping while pushing a cart and walk all over the store. Walk your kids to school.

Dance

Can I tell you how fun this game is! There have been so many nights the kids and I will hop on here before bed and do 5 songs in a row. They are full length fast paced and slow songs that will get you sweating big time. It's fun and it's easy.

Don't have the game? Put on some music and fake your inner hip hop dancer.

Garden

The other day I noticed my yard was beginning to become buried in leaves from my neighbors tree. Not only that but the gutters were filled and the storm drain was becoming clogged. So, while Kid# 2

played with his construction vehicles and excavated our front yard I got to an hours worth of raking and shoveling up leaves. I burned over 350 calories and my abs were so sore the next day. Gardening is tough work!

Videos

Any mother with young kids should spend the money to build her library of good workout DVDs. Most popular DVDs can be purchased at major retail stores for less than $10. January is the best time to buy because of all the sales on fitness items. Target.com has TWO high value coupons for a workout DVD by Sparkpeople.com and a Giam Yoga item HERE.

This has been the most effective way, I've found, if I need a no think challenging workout. I pop it in, I get it done, I shower and I'm set for the day. Dont have the money? Ask a friend if you can borrow one or check out SparkPeople.com, they have over 40 free videos I use on a daily basis.

Jump Rope

Inside or outside it's a doable activity. If the weather is nice take the kids outside and go school yard long rope on them. Have competitions to see who can jump more times consecutively. If you're inside march or jog in place for 100 steps, then jump rope 20 times. Repeat 10 times and you've got yourself a nice little workout.

Chores

Today was one of those days where I had a lot to do. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming... Those are tasks that require some work. Find ways to make them even more challenging. Put only one piece of clothing in the dryer at a time and squat each time you do it. Do lunges while vacuuming. Squeeze your buns and abs while standing at the sink doing dishes.

Everyday Fitness doesn't have to look like XYZ, in fact it's not only more doable, but more successful when you make being active an easy part of your daily life.

Share ONE thing you can do each day to get moving.

Hello 2012 and a Petition

2012-01-05T16:29:00.000-08:00

Geesh I haven't blogged ALL year long yet!

Are ya sick of those jokes yet? Because if the Hubbs says one more haven't done this yet this year I may just run away... Joking, joking...umm yea.

So how is every one's year going so far? I jump started my fitness goals in the last week of December by joining a SparkPeople.com challenge and I am on an exercise streak of 9 days now. It feels great, feels like when I first started trying to lose weight, and I like the results I'm seeing. I've done well to up my plant based food intakes and stay away from most processed foods. My energy is up and I am enjoying my fitness routine. Exactly where I want to be.

Weight is still up. I started the year out at 189.2. Yeah... it hurts to say it and I couldn't tell you why the +14lb gain, but I'm working hard to get it off. That's a big gain for me in a long time. I'm coming up on 4 years since I began trying to regain my health and I don't consider it a failure, but I do consider it a stumble. However, I have not fallen and I will get back on track.

**IMPORTANT**
I got an interesting email the other day. Remember THIS post about the Tracy Half Marathon I signed up for scheduled on 1/29 and how a reader emailed me with a warning of this Racing companies bad JuJu. Whelp they emailed saying, "Per the request of the city of Tracy, we have moved the race date to May 20th, 2012. Thank you." And it begins. So I'm assuming I have lost my race fees and there will be no race, but what I would like to do is start a petition. I would like to see Reinike (USRA) racing company go away and quit taking people's money. I have created a petition to send to Active.com asking them to ban this group from using their website to collect registration fees or advertise. If you, or someone you know, have ever had experience with this group I would greatly appreciate your signature and your sharing of this petition via your blog or social media. We need 1000 signatures. Thanks for your help!

Petition

The Hubbs decided he wants to run five 5k's this year and I'm really excited about that. 5k is such a fun distance and I'm thrilled to do it as a couple. He's left it up to me to choose which ones so feel free to throw out any ones in the Bay Area, CA. that you like the most.

Overall 2012 has gotten out to a great start and I'm looking forward to what's coming. Happy New Year!

2011- The year of the PR

2011-12-27T21:07:00.000-08:00

As much as I am bummed out about the weight gain, I had a rockin year in terms of running! Compared to previous years, I didn't race a lot, but I really had a lot of fun when I did.

In January I launched my running ministry and to date have 41 runners in 14 states participating in sharing the good news of Christ. That has been an amazing experience in itself.

-Mount Diablo Trails 10k 3/19-

First race wasn't until March and it was a wet, muddy, rainy, miserably cold mountain climb that Michelle and I battled for a long long slow 10k. But! We had a great day and running together is always fun!

-See Jane Run 1/2 Marathon Alameda 6/5- 2:42 PR 

What a 180 this race experience was from the previous year. In 2010 I ran this race as my first half and came in at 3:03. I had an awful time due to an undetected lung infection and I was determined to have an excellent race.

Even though I went alone, I was never alone on the course. I started with a friend from church and finished with a new friend who I cherish meeting to this day and look forward to getting to run with her again. I PR'd this course by 21 minutes and I might just see what I have in me next year.

-Run to the Lake 5k 7/10- 31:00 PR

3rd year running this race and once again it was a blast. Slight uphill followed by slight downhill for the rest. PR course for sure. LOVE this race!

-Davis MOOnlight 10k 7/16- 1:09:42 PR

I ran this race on a total whim when my Mother-in-law invited me to come. It was supposed to be myself and two of my sister-in-laws running, but one got called into work and the other was sick. The director promised flat and fast, but I didn't think the huge overpass that went on forever counted as flat... Either way I set a goal to run the entire race as strong as I could amidst the heat and hills and I was very happy with the outcome and a new time to beat for 2012.

Delta Harvest Half Marathon + 6 miles before 9/18= first 19 mile run/walk

I signed up for this race hoping that it would help me get through my longest run in my marathon training. I ran to the race to make up the mileage to get me to 20 miles. The race ended up being small and the majority of the runners speedsters, I was tired and left in the dust early on. I ended up walking 6 of the 19 miles. I felt really defeated that day, but encouraged when the race director came out to shake my hand and thank me for coming out. I needed to be proud of my achievement of going 19 miles for the first time, but it just didn't go the way I expected. I should have known it would also be like this for the full.

still one of my favorite photos, I love my family so much.

Portland Marathon 10/9 6:54 PR

Yes I'm counting this as a PR. It was my first one :)

As much as I am excited, now that months have past, that I participated in my first marathon, I was extremely disappointed in myself that day. I didn't want to tell anyone my time or talk about it at all. I just wanted to leave it behind me and move forward.

However, that trip was a big one for me. My first solo trip to a new city, first solo airplane ride, first marathon. And I did it, and I survived, I finished. Really this race is/was the pinnacle of my weight loss. It was scary, I wasn't sure if I could do it, but I did and it hurt, and it sucked a lot, but it was definitely worth doing.

Holiday Run for Health 3 mile 12/10 32:37- Course PR 

Overall I would say running really created a unique experience that shaped this year in ways I could have never imagined. The people I have met and those I already knew, but grew closer to, those are friendships I cherish. The amazing things God has used me for and shown to me have brought me such joy. I can only hope that for 2012 the challenges and excitement grow to something even bigger than I could have ever expect.

Thank you to those who comment, or who support me with your friendship and encourage me to keep on going. Running isn't always fun or easy, but every step left on that pavement or trail will always be worth it.

Happy running in the New Year! 

Last week of the year Honesty.

2011-12-27T09:05:00.000-08:00

I always wanted to be healthy. I always wanted to be a healthy weight. I never wanted to gain weight again.

But I have. I've been avoiding this post because it is so darn disappointing.

I gained back the whole 10lbs that I lost this year. The day I got back on the scale and saw my weight was at 185.6, the exact amount I started with at the beginning of this year, I really wanted to cry.

I think most formerly obese or overweight people would agree with me that gaining weight back is one of the scariest things that can happen to you. It happens so quickly and can get out of control just as fast. When you think of it in terms of of 10lbs I am less than 8 ten pound increments away from being back at my starting weight of 262.

I have let things get in the way of me exercising. I have let my emotions control how I eat. I have gone back to very old habits and made them new again.

But I refuse to let those weaknesses be who I am again. I will continue to fight. I have started already.

Yesterday, I began eating vegetarian. To incorporate this as a lifestyle I will eat this way faithfully for a month, this is more a mental challenge. By the end of the month eating this way will be my new way of eating. I will learn how to properly fuel my body with plant based foods. It can be done and I will do it.

I joined a sparkpeople.com jumpstart group for the new year to keep me accountable for my workouts. I will do one of their predetermined 10 minute toning videos each day and then at least 5 days of 30+ minutes of cardio each week.

Even if this only takes off the 10lbs I gained back it will be worth it.

I want to encourage you to start your own journey right now. Get rid of all that junk in your pantry that's causing you to fail, go shopping for new food, get out your front door and go to the gym or to the park and just do it. Today is the only day that is guaranteed, make it count and act like it's all you have.

Join with me as I continue to fight obesity within myself. Who's in?

Merry Christmas Eve

2011-12-24T11:08:00.000-08:00

It had been two weeks since my last run. Until yesterday.

Uh nice foot bomb Hubbs(and don't mind our in process mantel)... Put on my race outfit for Holiday race and added some stripey socks. Got a few smiles which made me smile.

I wanted to run at night, but I had never run this stretch so I went out at dusk. Here is a pair of houses that do it Griswold style.

And later at night... They even have Santa there to take pictures with on the Right and the house on the Left is set up to music broadcasted on a radio station.

and our little sad window of lights. Ugh we were way too busy this year.

I got in 3 miles and I have 25 more to go before I hit 700 for the year. I am really going for it. Monday I have a 10 mile run on plan with the Hubbs riding bike with me. I really didn't realize how much 2 weeks off of running can effect me until I was huffing and puffing last night and I really don't want to experience that again anytime soon.

But for today I'm off to enjoy some time with family and soak in the delights of the holiday. I hope your day is merry and bright and full of Joy.

Merry Christmas, from my Family to yours.

Holiday Run/Walk for Health 3 mile recap

2011-12-13T10:34:00.000-08:00

The morning was chilly and still. I was slightly nervous knowing that I would be giving this race full effort and trying to have fun at the same time. Is that possible?

We got there about an hour early and I walked over to get my chip and bib. I also took a moment to sign up the boys for the free Santa Dash. Used the facilities and then went back to find my family. This race is run in my town and benefits the local schools so there were many families out there running for their children's school, me included. The other great thing about this was one of Kid#1's friends was there. They ran around and played the whole time I ran, all the Hubbs had to do was sit back and supervise.

Good luck hugs before I took off and I was ready to line up. Tom Torlakson, our state superintendent lives in our area and he puts on this race every year. It's nice to have a government member doing local things with and for the school systems. This year he wasn't running it, but he started us off.

I lined up right at the front knowing that people don't really place themselves correctly in terms of pace. I didn't want to be stuck behind the walkers. Instead I had a lovely view of three majorly hairy high school track boys. I heard a couple other track kids complaining they wouldn't get good times because they were so out of shape...so that means you'll run it in 18 minutes instead of 17? sigh...

I took off with the front of the pack trying to be mindful of my pace, not going out too fast and burning my energy. This course is hilly and mostly on trail and gravel with one big hill around mile 2. It takes a lot of effort to run this course well. The air was cold and felt heavy in my lungs, the first miles effort hurt very much. We made our way around the first half of the reservoir and up onto the levee.

Mile 1: 10:39

Mile 2 finishes off the levee and down the big hill into the park. We run down the path and around the baseball fields. Back up the hill I made the plan to walk it.

picture of the hill taken on another run.

Mile 2: 11:20

Pace had slowed down just a bit, but I was happy to see that number not too far off from mile 1. I knew it was time to push it for the last mile. I was feeling pretty tired and fighting some wicked nausea. I was right at the threshold where I thought if I pushed it much harder I might just toss my cookies so I kept the pace challenging, but I was beginning to hold back.

I was never so relieved to get back on pavement. The last little bit are small rolling hills, but when you're giving a good effort it takes a lot to get over them. When my watch chimed at 30 minutes I knew I still had a ways to go, but I also knew it was time to go even harder. I wanted to place well.

As I came up by the pool (behind me) I saw the Hubbs. He started yelling at me to GO GO GO!!. 219 passed me and then the Hubbs really started hollerin at me and guess who joined in cheering for me to pick it up. Santa. Thanks Santa lol.

I gave it everything I had one last push.

Mile 3: 10:54

2011 Holiday Run/Walk for Health 3 mile

32:37

average pace 10:52

Overall- 129/284

Age group 25-29- 3/7

Course PR of 4 minutes

The first year I ran this I placed 3rd out of 4 people, last year running casually with a friends daughter I placed 4th out of 6. This year 3rd out of 7, not too bad, but here's the kicker...

2nd pace beat me by .4 seconds. .4 seconds!!!

Argh!! I was so close.

2010

2009

Overall I love this race and I look forward to pushing myself and having fun at this community race. See ya next year Holiday Race.

Hello, Friend.

2011-12-05T20:37:00.001-08:00

Like a lot of things in my life right now, this blog has been sort of neglected. I'm so sorry blog, I didn't mean to hurt you.

Actually it doesn't really bum me out or anything, although I'm sure the frequent spammers are sad they have to search around for a obscure post to leave their hyperlink broken english junk comments on. But, I digress...

Over the past two weeks I've jumped back into half marathon training for a winter half. I've run two 7 mile long runs and have nailed them out both times feeling very good about each one. No doubt they were tough, but I really have needed to push myself mentally to get through it. Strength in all areas, right?

Since declaring weight loss over, I've kind of eased up on myself. Don't get me wrong, I still have standards for taking care of this body I've been given, I'm just not driving myself crazy and being obsessive. If I miss the gym because my son's teacher needs me to do something for her, eh no biggie. If I have a night out with the girls and we eat pizza, drink a little wine, and eat 3 cupcakes, eh no biggie ( This is VERY rare for me!).

Life is just real chill. And guess what, my stress levels are down tremendously. There was a certain point I just had to let go of my tight grip or I was going to snap something. There is only so much I can control and my body has made up it's mind to be here, so here we stay.

However, after I posted about being done, the Hubbs came to me and said, "You know you're not REALLY done, right?". And my response was, "Yeah, I know." I know I could lose more body fat and tone up. I know right now I'm not committed to a hardcore routine that would render me those results. But, I do have something up my sleeve and it will be coming to me as a Christmas gift from the Hubbs. Stay tuned...

On the agenda for this weekend is my annual local 5k race. I like this race because it is so teenie tiny and the people who show up are usually walkers. The first year I ran it, 2 years ago I placed 3rd...out of 3 people in my age category. Big time confidence boost...no really. Last year I came in 4th and that was running it completely relaxed with a friends daughter. This year I'm going for the gusto, I'm lining up in front, I'm aiming for a PR or course record or something to close this year out. It's most likely the last race I'll run for 2011, unless the Hubbs and I run a New Years eve race, and so I'm giving it my all.

December has to be my all time favorite month to post in because of the end of the year wrap up and I have a lot I'm excited to reminisce about this year. Oh and be looking for a race recap of Portland, I've finally decided to write it. It won't be pretty, it may not be inspiring, but it's my first Marathon and I did it, it deserves it's place here.

Have a great week everyone!

Spooked, but not scared.

2011-11-25T21:20:00.001-08:00

Shortly after posting THIS I received an email from a concerned anonymous reader that I had registered with a fraudulent racing company and that I should google them and check it out. I did.

Before I go into detail about what I found let me explain a little more about how signed up for this race and what I have to lose if I do get stiffed.

This race was presented to me in email form, from Active.com, with a Schwaggle deal of half off the entry fee.
The race is being hosted by the USRA and Reinki Sports Group
If this race does not take place, as some of their races have, I will lose $35. I'm not very concerned about that amount, but if I was paying the full price of $70 I would be MAD.

I googled further to see what kind of information I could find, negative or positive, and this is what I came up with:

Positive

This Article- This article is by coolrunnings.com ( the infamous home of C25k program) and it's a colorful positive post about USRA with pictures of their races occurring and happy people running them.

Negative

BBB rating- Reinki Sports Group is sporting a big fat F for their better business bureau rating. There are 13 closed complaints over the past 3 years and for 11 of them the company did not contact the BBB to resolve.

This Forum-This forum has people talking about an event that never happened and others join in and share their laments about the USRA and Reinke.

This Site- This specific site is dedicated to tracking all the malpractices of Reinke Sports.

Some of the other things I'm hearing is not enough water stops even though the website says one every 2 miles, early race closure while people are still on the course, off course maps and inadequate course markings, missing swag.

So here I sit feeling a little nervous about participating in this race. The location is about 45 minutes away, which is normal for most of my races, but I also have to drive out there the day before to pick up my packet. I have a backup race if I chose not to do this one... On one hand I know to prepare to carry my own fuel and water ( I do anyways) and to maybe drive the course the day before.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Based on what I've found I would caution you to not sign up with this particular racing group and save yourself the trouble I've gotten myself into.

Thrilling!

2011-11-22T20:26:00.001-08:00

Looks like I'm climbing back on the running long distance races horse. I wasn't sure what kind of mileage would be in my future after the Marathon, but I've decided half's and below are what I really like. I'm getting all giddy and excited about running again, so much so that I registered for a winter half marathon. Yippee. I've run 5 half marathons so far and they have all been in the summer minus one in the early fall. I am so very much looking forward to training in cooler weather.

I knew that I wanted to run another half before I turned 30 and get that PR of 2:30 or better. I didn't expect to find one so quickly, but Schwaggle (Active.com's deal website) sent out a deal for half off the cost of a half marathon not too far from me. $35 for a half marathon, who can resist. After visiting the website and checking out the flat course, I knew I couldn't pass it up.

The race is on 1/29/12 which gives me an okay amount of time to train...if I start this weekend. No time like the present right?! As always the main goal is to have fun, because walking away from a race unhappy never feels good. Half marathon 6 here we come!

Eu amo Zumba!

2011-11-19T20:54:00.000-08:00

This morning I went a little out of my comfort zone...okay a lot out of my comfort zone. I Zumba'ed!!

I have been interested in trying it out for a while, but was curious just what it was. So, I ran on the treadmill one morning while the class was going on in front of me and I liked what I saw. I finally made the move this morning and I am in love. Not only did I sweat and have fun, but an hour working out passed like nothing!

Each instructor puts their own spin and flavor on their class so today was a lot of Latin dance moves. My hips and ankles are feeling it. There were a lot of moves I was comfortable with and then I was really focused on some of the other foot work. The great part is you don't have to take it serious, just move and have fun.

If you've never heard of Zumba or are thinking of trying it out, here is a video of something similar to what we did. There are people of every size, age group, and gender doing Zumba.

Zumba will be seeing this girl on Wednesdays and Saturdays!

I'm done and that's okay

2011-11-17T08:07:00.001-08:00

I think when we have our minds and hearts set on something and we miss the mark or don't quite make it it's always going to be disappointing. Having to make a change, especially a mental one, can be difficult. I am officially, officially, done with weight loss. Okay, what does that mean?

-I'm done obsessing over the # on the scale.
-I'm done thinking about myself as obese/overweight/not done
-I will not feel like I have to finish something before I can really live my life
-I will not restrict myself from doing things as a form of motivation to lose weight
-I will not compare myself to others and be envious of their success

What will I do now?

-I will accept myself as I am
-I will keep being active and reaching for physical goals that have nothing to do with my weight
-I will keep eating a healthy well balanced diet
-I will teach my children and those around me how to live a healthy life

My name is Amanda and on my journey to restore my health I...

Went from this-

To this-

-Lost 87lbs

-Went from a size 24 pants and XXL shirt to a size 12 pants and a Medium shirt
-I began running and to date have shone that all things are possible when you believe in the One who made you and the ability of your body to carry you
-Inspired others to begin their own journey to health
-Overcame the addiction and power food had on me
-Really learned how to forgive and how to love

What I've gained outweighs what I've lost and that's the kind of scale I want to be standing on.

Over the next few days, to show how grateful I am for the blessing of restored health, I will be sharing some new before and after photos that make my heart feel the completion of my journey. Thanks for taking this ride with me through all the ups and downs. Triumphs and stand stills. I look forward to taking this blog to the place I ultimately wanted to and that is a continued life of maintained health after a life of morbid obesity.

I hope you'll stay along for the ride :)

I Have to Admit

2011-11-11T14:15:00.001-08:00

About 2 or 3 weeks ago I was pumped up, super excited, raging and raring to go. I was going to do it this time! Yet, here I am fighting certain thoughts in my head and pushing away false thoughts that seem to keep trying to convince me they're true.

I was so sure I could lose the rest of the weight. I have been having great workouts, eating fantastic, getting enough calories, having great runs. Yet here I am gaining weight, but feeling smaller and seeing my measurements and muscle tone improve. My brain wants to say, "Yes! Success!", but it keeps returning back to, "Why no weight loss?"

It has been the one thing I absolutely have no understanding of since this journey began. In the spring I lost 10lbs from my beginning of the year starting weight. I was 175lbs. I trained for a marathon and maintained a weight of 177lbs. Now, each week I get on the scale my weight goes up and up and up. This morning I was 183.6lbs. What the Hayday?!

Why do I keep seeing people go from point A to point B nearly effortlessly and I'm going on my 4th year trying to get this weight off. My labs are always normal at the Dr, I do everything I'm told to do and yet I still struggle. What is it???!!!

For now, to calm this crazy frantic brain of mine, I'm focusing on what I can succeed in and that is my running and strength. Those are the two things I am seeing constant gains in. They keep me motivated and willing to get up and keep trying.

What do you do when you're feeling stuck?

Christmas Card giveaway Winners!

2011-11-09T13:55:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to the winners of my Shutterfly 25 Christmas Photo card giveaway. They are...

C.Beth at C.Beth Blog
Beth says-
"When my twin sister Becki and I were very small (probably about 4 or 5 years old), our family was celebrating Christmas. Becki was opening up gift after gift (some of them not even hers!), excitedly exclaiming, "Oh how nice, sunglasses!" and such. My mom was nervously watching because my grandma had sent necklaces for both my sister and me, and later realized she had accidentally wrapped one of the necklace boxes without the necklace in it! They didn't know which one it was, and my mom was concerned one of us would open the empty box and be devastated. Finally Becki got to the little necklace box. She opened it, pulled out the cotton padding (without a necklace on it), and exclaimed, "Oh how nice! Cotton balls!" Then she moved on to the next present! My parents still try to remember to wrap cotton balls for Becki at Christmas! Christmas is special to me for many reasons. I love the family time, whether it's just our little family or extended. I love the miracle of the Christmas "

Lena at JOYfilled Family

Lena says-
"I'm having a hard time picking just one Christmas memory so I've decided to share a simple tradition that my family has for Christmas Day. On Christmas Morning the children rise to a house filled with party decorations for Our Lord Jesus Christ. We try to go all out for Him. The children must wait until after Christmas Mass to open their gifts -- Jesus first! "

And Whitney at It's what moves me

Whitney says-
"While, I don't love the crazy shopping season, I do love Christmas. I think I will always remember our first Christmas as a "family", with a two month old baby that we opened presents for. There wasn't much to it... maybe that's what I love about it so much?"

Congratulations ladies! Have fun creating your personal and unique Christmas cards. I will be emailing your codes shortly.

7 years ago...

2011-11-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

I married the love of my life. And on Saturday we took off for a little getaway to the city many leave their heart in. San Francisco.

We were going to hop off the train and take an iconic cable car ride, but when we got to the street level we found a long line waiting for us and some backed up cable cars. So we decided to take to the hills on foot.

We dined at Fisherman's Wharf and enjoyed clam chowder and cesar salads. Yum. As we were sitting there a car with "Kara's Cupcakes" passed by. I had just seen a blip about them on local t.v. at one of the street truck vendor festivals. I knew I had to have one so after we visited the jewelery street vendors (and picked up some cute handmade earrings) we popped into Ghiradeli Square for a treat.

Meyer Lemony Lemon filled cupcake. YUM!!

I luv cupcakes. It was nearly half gone when I took this picture, I had to turn it ha ha.

Yes we can!

We finished our day off walking down the Embarcadero, past Pier 39 where the famous sea lions gather. They were pretty entertaining. We stopped into the Ferry Building near the Bay Bridge and checked out all the awesome shops. It's a foodie's haven in there, plus some cute rural nick nack things. I showed the Hubbs some small ceramic dishes one could use for salt and pepper service and he just grinned at me. He thinks I'm totally silly sometimes in a cute way.

After that we were pretty much done with our day trip so we walked back toward the train route and headed towards home. We ended up covering 6+ miles while sight seeing and saw a lot of great stuff. A perfect day.

We grabbed a bite to eat before heading home and relieving our wonderful baby sitters, my parents. As we settled in for the night, watching one of our new favorite t.v. shows, we knew the day had almost been too perfect. We knew it right when Kid #2 started hacking up a lung and having an asthma attack and Kid#1's nose started spurting blood at the same exact time.

Good to know the universe let us have our moment, but it reminded us we were back to reality. Sick kids, day jobs, and life in general. :)

Don't forget to enter my giveaway for 25 free Shutterfly Christmas cards. Ends tomorrow!

All I want for Christmas...

2011-11-03T14:45:00.000-07:00

Long before I got involved in blogging and started participating in the Shutterfly Christmas card giveaway I was ordering my beautiful Christmas cards from them. I love their amazing selection of layouts and choices and how you can personalize them to fit your style and family flair. Here's our layout from last year...

We like to send out Christmas cards each year because we have many family members we don't get to see for many years inbetween visits. Having small children, life and our family changes drastically from year to year. Sending out these beautiful cards makes it easy to share memories with your family and friends. You don't even have to worry about getting professional photos done, simply insert some of your favorite snapshots from throughout the year.

Not only can you make your Christmas Cards and Holiday Cards you can also create unique Photo gifts and Photo books!

I cannot wait to put together a fun photo shoot and choose a layout for this years selection. I better hurry up! But for now Shutterfly is going to give 3 lucky readers of mine 25 cards on the house.(That's a $50+ value!) Yes, that means FREEEEEEEEEE!

No hoops to jump through, here's all you have to do to enter...

How to Enter:

-Share your funniest/most memorable/sweetest Christmas story and why Christmas is a special time for you.

X-tra Entries:

-Follow this blog or subscribe via email (Leave a comment)

-Share this giveaway on Facebook or Twitter (Leave a comment)

-Like Shutterfly on Facebook (Leave a comment)

Giveaway will run until Tuesday, 11/8/11 at 12pm Midnight PST. Winners will be announced and emailed shortly after. Can't wait to hear your stories!!

Squishy Belly Honesty

2011-10-27T15:07:00.000-07:00

I, like many other women, have not always been fond of my squishy belly. I mean that thing was stretched out twice to fit two gigantic babies in it and of course the whole obesity thing. I'm not really going to win any six pack contests anytime soon.

Kid#2 has always had this odd obsession with my bare stomach. I've tried to figure out where it comes from, if he's feeling particularly clingy he may lift my shirt up and press his cheek to my stomach. He loves to kneed and pat it. Doesn't necessarily make me feel beamingly proud, but glad he finds comfort in a kangaroo kind of way.

Today, I was helping out in Kid#1's class. I absolutely adore his class, his teacher is great, the kids are cute and funny. The girls all clamor around me as I openly complement them on their accessories and artwork. Their faces beam with pride and they giggle and do girly things. Love it! I've made littles friends and I'm glad to be so connected with his schooling.

I was leading a science group this morning and the teacher was sending kids over. One little girl was so excited to be apart of my group and she ran over and put her arms around my waist. She looked up at me and said, "Oh your belly is so squishy!" and she patted me and continued to hold on tight.

At first I thought, oh is it really that squishy and fat?! But then I began to smile. I'm not thrilled about excess belly fat, but I realized that having a soft comfortable place for our children to land might have been part of God's plan for mother's after they have their children. All this hype about having abs and stuff is relatively new for our culture. I'm sure many of them subconsciously recall being at the breast, a soft and squishy place that provided nourishment, warmth, and bonding time with their mothers.

While I'm still working on reducing my belly fat, maybe that six pack isn't my desire anymore. Maybe just a soft, healthy, place for my children to press their cheeks upon when they need some comfort is all this mother needs to focus on.