The Blog of a Twenty-Something Guy

Post 242 | Different

2014-09-30T15:23:00.001-05:00

Well. Where to even begin? Let's just dive in I guess.

I felt it coming. I knew it would happen. Something in us would break and shit would go down. Apparently she didn't though. All semester I felt it. It felt distant and, well, not good. Sure enough she saw an inappropriate text from a "friend" of mine and it all snowballed from there.

The short of it is we broke up. Tasha and I are no more. Haven't been so for a few months now. I wont go into all the nitty gritty of it as that kind of information is private and I've processed it with my friends and family and I'm doing well.

Really well.

I think we got stuck and stayed stuck for quite a long time. We got comfortable and just stayed there, and probably would have stayed there forever if something didn't happen. I'm glad it did happen though. It was time for a change. I'm not glad hearts were broken and feelings were hurt, but I'm glad we both have a chance to do some growing now.

And boy have I grown.

Suddenly I'm dating a boy. A magnificent boy. His name is Tommie and he's what I need in my life. Supportive, caring, loving, funny, charming, sexy... the whole package. We play video games together and he loves all of my quirks and geeky things.

Tomorrow we will have been "boyfriends" for a month. I'm happier than I've been in a very long time. I've told him a lot of stuff that I tend to keep bottled up and to myself. I feel incredibly comfortable around him and everything is going great...

But, of course, there's a catch. He's shipping off to basic training for the Navy at the beginning of December. He's going off to become a corpsman (this is a fancy word for Navy medic). And while at first I was very uncertain about this fact, scared and put off by it even, I've come to accept it. He is going into it to learn and gain an education on how to save lives. He's already looking at his career after his military contract is up.

He's not learning how to be an infantryman, he's learning how to save those people. It's still something I struggle with accepting; however, I think he's worth it.

I've fallen in love with him and he's worth it. There will be a two months there where our only contact will be letters but then after that it's just a long distance relationship situation. Which, as my friend Rebecca said, if we want to make it work, we'll make it work.

It's going to be tough, but so far everything is fantastic. We've had very deep and meaningful conversations about what it means for him going into all of this and what I'm comfortable with and uncomfortable with hearing about. I've also told him about everything that's happened to me in my last relationship.

We'll see what happens. For now I'm having fun and doing really well.

Life is incredibly different now but different in a fantastic way.

Post 241 | Ceremony

2014-05-07T21:08:00.002-05:00

And thus ends my career taking classes in college.

Yeah, just the classes part, for some odd reasons I still have internship hours left to finish but whatever, I'll be done with them by the middle of July and then I get to move on from Olivet for real.

But! I still get to walk on Saturday. Walk in that graduation ceremony where I will wear one of those funny hats and robes and look kinda strange but then get a fake diploma thing and bam, no more Olivet campus for me.

That being said... It is indeed a very bittersweet time for me. On one hand I get to leave this god-forsaken place; on the other, I have to leave my friends. The friends who I have come to love and cherish these past four years.

As I type I sit watching four of them play Battlefront II as they duke it out in galactic conquest. I find it both humorous and terrifying as the tension is high and the friendships between them hang in the balance.

It has been an odd four years for me. I came out as bi, pushed my way through college, and have developed some (well maybe one or two) great friendships.

There's more life still to come and talks about what is next has me excited and afraid.

We moved a lot of the stuff out of the apartment today and it now looks incredibly barren. After being so comfortable in it for the past eight months, it is very hard to see the place begin to fall apart. But life moves on. We all have our own things to do now. One of my roommates even moved into his own apartment today.

I will be moving back home to complete my internship. I will be working at the hospital like I have done for the past three summers. My bosses are excited to have me back and I am excited to be going back. They may be eliminating my position come August, so only time will tell if it becomes a long term thing or not.

I am going to apply for a job I desperately want in San Francisco. It is for the website Giant Bomb. It's a website about video games. I have probably talked about it before on this thing but ya never know. If you like video games and fun you should probably look it up.

Anyways, my time at Olivet is coming to a close. As I spend these last days reflecting and saying goodbye to friends I remember everything that has changed and some things that have remained the same. I look forward to growing even further now that I can get out of this hellish bubble.

Thanks as always for reading and for sticking with me through all of my years in school.

"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana" - Groucho Marx.

Post 240 | 2013

2014-01-01T23:08:00.002-06:00

Well, there it went. 2013 is dead and gone and thus arises 2014.

It's been a while since I posted. Crazy crazy busy.

The end of the school year flew by. Thanksgiving then finals just took it all out of me. My senior speech happened... Sometimes I laugh and remember I finished it. I got an A- (or a Pass) which I am COMPLETELY happy about. I am so grateful that is over with. It was killing me.

Christmas has come and gone as well! So many family things and parties and seeing people I have been completely sucked into everything and have barely had a chance to catch my breath. I was about to say I finally have a chance but I have family coming in on Friday for a week! It doesn't end!

This post is more of a look back at 2013 though so let's see about that.

2013. I turned 21. I posted here that I am bisexual. I kept on trucking. I played video games. I started a podcast with my friend Cody. I loved. Giant Bomb lost a cofounder. Emotions everywhere. It was just a pretty good year.

I gained job security for after college. I had a great time at my friend's cabin. The PlayStation 4 came out. I learned a lot in school. I've made new friends. I've relaxed around others. I edited my book twice and prepared a query letter to send out! This weekend will probably be research/get letters ready weekend.

I think I've become more me.

I am trying to be more honest and open about who I am. It's a process but I am getting there. Before I felt the need to censor myself in front of people or try and not be vocal about the things I care about; but, as time goes on, I am doing that less often than I used to. Trying to be me.

2013 was a pretty decent year. I enjoyed it. It had the number 13 in it so I had to enjoy it. Well I didn't have to but I did. It was a fun year. I am looking forward to 2014 more I think though. I am GRADUATING. Yes, that needed all caps. I will graduate school and get on into the real world.

This semester is going to be a challenge I think. Not hard classes probably, but mental preparation for the real world. Seeing my friends less and getting on with my life and all that.

It's the adventure that awaits me. I am very much looking forward to it. If any of you are where I am I hope you are looking forward to it as well. It's exciting. Let's get excited!

Post 239 | Launch

2013-11-16T16:26:00.003-06:00

PS4 Launch day has come and gone...

Exciting! Unless your PS4 comes broken from Amazon.

I preordered it the second I could during the press conference and lo and behold the thing comes busted. It started up after a few restarts, tried to update, then would just pulse the blue light over and over again endlessly. No matter how many times I took out and then put back in the HDD, nothing.

So, I spent a long time on hold with Sony, waiting and waiting, with their crackly waiting music. During that time I scrolled through the PS4 support forums. During that search I stumbled across a post from someone claiming something interesting. He claimed that he had gotten through to Sony, and they told him to take his PS4 to the Sony store and they would replace it on the spot for free.

I didn’t believe it.

Until someone else posted that they did the same thing. Or at least called and the Sony store confirmed this. So, I called my closest Sony store (an hour and a half away). The person was confused at first, but told me to hold on, and lo and behold I could bring it in no problem.

So, I rounded up some friends and hit the road. I got there and this is where it got interesting…

The person doing the exchange informed me that this is something Sony had foreseen coming and planned for. They realized there were units having problems and shipped extra units to some Sony stores for this purpose. But he also said they were not announcing this. People had to call the store and ask and find out. Curious? I think so.

If it were not for that one post in that one forum that I stumbled across, I would still have a dead PS4 instead of a brand new one that seems to be working wonderfully.

He also said he had five amazon dead PS4s, a Meijer one, and a WalMart one. So it doesn’t seem specific to any retailer.

When he brought out the new one it was in a special box that seemed to be rushed shipping to be specific for replacing dead ones. It made me wonder if was ensured to be working. I had him start up the thing at the store just to make sure. He had the cords already set up at the station to test it so I am assuming I wasn’t the only one who had requested it.

It seemed interesting to me that they had set up this fail safe without telling anyone. They probably didn’t want a rush of people getting replacements, instead limited it to those who cared the most to call the store.

They also had 10 systems still left for sale.

The sales rep was super awesome and understanding about it. I wish I had gotten his name so I could thank him. He was happy that Sony had taken care of this as well.

It may suck real bad that there are a bunch of bricked PS4s out there, but if you have one and can get to a Sony store it seems like they have the ability to replace them. Just call to make sure.

I’m just glad I have one and it’s been working great for a couple hours now. My friends and I are live streaming it here:http://www.twitch.tv/thebrokenhammer playing some games and talking in weird accents from time to time.

That’s my PS4 launch day adventure. I hope you all had a better one and are enjoying your PS4s.

Post 238 | Ride

2013-11-01T00:16:00.002-05:00

I am ready to get off of this ride and jump onto the next one.

Those are my feelings on college right now. I absolutely cannot wait to be done here and get on. Get moving. I need to burst out of here and into the world. I need to get to the real world and not be in this place anymore. I love the people here but I no longer love the situation I am in here.

I engross myself so heavily into things that are not my schoolwork. I work on my book. I work on the paper. I go and work at the radio station. Those are things I want to be doing. Not my papers and research. I want to be out there in the real world!

I am done. Simple as that. I wanted this ride to be done the second I turned in my senior speech outline. I was so ready to fly the hell out of here and onto better things.

I want to learn bass. I want to drive my car to the east coast. Hell, right now I want to jump out of a plane. Which I've never wanted to do before in my life. So, let's get this over with! I both want these next six months or so to take as long as they need and to be over with.

I want these people in my life, I just don't want this school in my life anymore. I am ready to be done here. I need to be done here. I need to work. I need to have a life without the boundaries of this school.

I am ready to get off of this ride and jump onto the next one.

Hell, the next ride could be terrible. I could get out of here and find out that I want the comfort of college back, but I need to know. I need to know what that next ride is like. I can see it, I am waiting in line for it, and I want to grab that fast pass and get ahead of everyone else. And I hate roller coasters.

So, time, when I wake up in the morning, please both have let me enjoyed the last few months I have with these people, and also stop keeping me in school. Thank you.

Post 237 | Relax

2013-09-08T23:55:00.001-05:00

Why hello there. Been a while yes? What can I say? Life takes over sometimes!

I'm back at school, back to the grind of classes, back to working on the paper, and back to my friends here. Loving the apartment life (for the most part) and excited to be a senior. Which is really crazy to think about. But now is not the time for reflection. I have a different topic I want to talk about today, and that is one called relaxing.

Tonight we had a class competition which involved performances from groups from each class. One class used a song some deem inappropriate, Blurred Lines, and the other a parody of Miley Cyrus's performance at the VMAs.

Now, I go to one of those crazy conservative Christian schools, so them doing this was kind of a surprise, but hey, it's a bunch of people having fun so why worry about it?

They didn't even play Blurred Lines, they just played the beat to it, and wow is that a catchy beat. I just spent some time listening to some parodies and damn I like that beat.

The Miley Cyrus thing? It was a dude dressed as a girl but with shorts on and his wig fell off and he didn't even grind against his foam finger. They were just having fun! But nope, people had to get all worked up and angry about it. I am willing to bet that there will be quite the backlash from some of the crazies here.

People are totally entitled to their own opinions, and while I respect them, it does not mean I have to agree with them.

I like the idea that people here are willing to push the envelope a little and get some attention instead of being perfect little precious people all the time.

I honestly do not think it was a big deal. I think it was just people having a good time and everywhere I looked in the audience people were laughing. It was funny! It was good! I enjoyed it. Maybe I just hear from the people who get worked up about it because I work on the paper, but I think that the overarching response to it was positive.

People like to have fun, and if their image of fun isn't the same as yours, oh well. Sometimes you don't have to take life so seriously and just have to enjoy it. Relax a little friends, it'll all be ok, I promise.

Post 236 | Proud

2013-07-02T15:20:00.002-05:00

Can I say I have never been more proud to be bisexual?

I went to the Chicago Pride Parade on Sunday with my sister and had a great time. Even if we didn't really talk to anyone else and no one really talked to us or anything it was still an amazing experience. There was just so much love everywhere. So so much.

Everyone was happy and having a great time and waving and so many high fives from the people in the parade it was awesome.

I am so glad I decided to come out last summer. Being able to go to that and just be myself was something amazing.

It's really hard to describe the feeling exactly. We got to the city after being on a train full of pride folks. Then we walked to a bus stop and the bus was sort of empty but the closer we got the more people started to crowd the bus. More and more people wearing more and more colors. At one point a girl yelled "I love everyone here!" and I knew I was in the right place.

My sister and I got hugged by someone in the parade and we were surrounded by happy, loving people. We stood there for probably three or so hours just enjoying the people around us. Felt like no time at all and I was very sad when it was over.

We did an hour and half walk back to the train station and headed home. It was an amazing day. Just being there was amazing. I am looking forward to going next year with more of my friends so it can be a bigger party and even more fun.

I am really proud of who I am. I am trying to be more proud of who I am. It's been interesting in my head trying to focus more on myself and what I want instead of just pleasing everyone all the time. I am still working on it and I am not there yet but I am getting better. I still like doing things for people I just need to do things for myself too instead of completely ignoring myself.

Also there were a lot of attractive people at the parade and we didn't mind that one bit.

Ok that is all. Thanks for reading as always. Stay awesome and be who you want to be!

Post 235 | Edited

2013-06-17T15:31:00.000-05:00

Hey. You. Yes you. The people (or person) who reads this blog.

I just finished an enormous round of edits on the book I wrote last November. And damn. I am proud. So damn proud. Not just of the book but of myself.

I rarely am able to concentrate or work on a project for so long. Not only did I write the book but now I've edited it. I spent last semester going through it piece by piece with a professor and have spent the summer thus far editing it when I have gotten the chance. And now I've gone through the entire thing.

These weren't just small edits either. Some chapters are completely changed. Some completely gone. Some of it was just copyediting but a lot of it was reworking dialogue or adding or subtracting stuff. It was a tedious process that I am very glad to be on the other side of.

So what's next for my book? Well I am taking a class next semester where I will be meeting with that prof again every week to edit it some more. I'm going to keep sanding it until I get it just right. I know some of it can still be changed and improved.

I've been encouraged to try and publish it which I will be trying to do after I get it done right. If I can't get it published for reals maybe I'll just publish it online or something. We shall see!

People seem to really like it which is really rewarding. If these six or seven people have liked it maybe hundreds or thousands of people will like it. It's hard to tell if these people I know are just being nice or if they genuinely like it.

So, I will keep this blog informed on the goings on of my book.

Also summer is going fairly well. I had family in town a week and a half ago for my sister's high school graduation. It went fairly well, save for the dramatic grandmothers. I threw out my back really bad one night though. I don't know what being shot is like but that's what it felt like. This unending searing pain for about 36 hours. It was terrible. No painkillers could calm it. Thankfully it seems to have gone away and I'm alright now.

I came very close to telling my mom to take me to the ER but I was able to fall asleep with ice on my back instead so I didn't.

But the family was fun. Always nice to see everyone. Played with a few kids endlessly at my sister's party so that was fun.

After I finish The Last of Us I'll have to make a post on that game. I don't want to include it in this because that wouldn't do it justice. Just know it is a fantastic and fantastically hard game.

That's all for now that I can think of. Thanks as always for reading. Hope you are all having a wonderful summer thus far. Keep being awesome.

Pst 234 | Back

2013-05-08T16:01:00.002-05:00

Finals are done. I went to a Cubs game. I got my hair cut. I went to a concert in Chicago. I unpacked my stuff. Had a bonfire. I went back to work. I cleaned my room back up. I may have gotten some sleep in there. That all happened over the course of about four days.

Finals are done! The school year is over! I am officially a senior! How incredibly scary is that? I have been writing on this blog for so long it is hard to believe that not just most of my high school career but now almost my entire college career is documented here. WEIRD. Finals went alright, not as well as I was hoping but I still wound up with the grades I expected to get in those classes so, yay?

I went to a Cubs game the Friday after I moved back. It was rainy and cold but still alright. I went with my dad and we don't talk much so it was a little awkward but still fun to go. Things are expensive as hell in there it kind of sucks. My family has season tickets, or half of a group of season tickets to be more precise, so hopefully I'll get to go to a game where the weather is good and they actually win!

I got my hair cut on Saturday and boy do I realize how uninteresting that is. It is much shorter now and much better than the bum-like look I had going on.

Went to a concert at Park West in Chicago with the girl Saturday night. It was a concert she wanted to go to so I bought the tickets a few months back. The headliner was Ben Rector who did a really great job but after that concert I am a new fan to the indie band Alpha Rev. I can't stop listening to their newest album Bloom. It's sooooo gooooooood. If you like alternative rock check them out HERE (it'll open in a new tab and seriously go listen to them). I really enjoyed the concert, probably the second best I have been to after Hugh Laurie. Or at least the second best on ones I really enjoyed.

Then on Sunday I spent nearly the entire day unpacking my dorm back into my room. It was kind of insane. I didn't get it all done either. Then Erin and Tasha came over for a bonfire that night and it was quite lovely catching back up with her. I very much look forward to our summer plans.

Then on Monday I came back to work. That's where I am sitting right now. Work. Back in the office for the third year in a row. Kind of weird how I keep leaving and coming back and things are mostly the same. I got my boss to gut this place last year and consolidate a crap ton of stuff and since then he's kind of moved the office around a bit, otherwise it's mostly the same. I see the same people in the hallways and Mark is the same he has always been.

That night I finished unpacking my room in like an hour and a half. It was a mad sprint to get it done. Which I did. Now I am back in my room. I only have to hook those two speakers back up and then I am good to go for the summer. I have two big video games I want to play this summer (The Last of Us and Fuse) so I'll need my room to be in prime gaming condition.

And so the summer begins. Four months of working and chilling with friends. I don't think it'll be as crazy as last year, ya know, the summer where I came out as bisexual and Tasha and I broke up for a while.

OH WAIT DIDN'T TELL YOU THAT YET DID I OH WELL JUST DID.

Yeah that's what happened last summer. Didn't blog about it much did I? Maybe you could kind of tell something was going on there? Probably. Anyways here I am a year later out of the metaphorical closet as bisexual. It's all good yo. Keep on being me as much as I can.

I am planning on editing my book this summer and getting some copies printed as part of my prize for completing NaNoWriMo last year. If you are still in school good luck with the end of the year and tests and stuff and if you are out already, ENJOY SUMMER AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. I used more caps in this post than originally intended. Oh well, didn't intend to really come out here just kind of feels right a little less than a year later.

Stay awesome everyone, thanks for reading!

Post 233 | Walks

2013-04-15T22:39:00.003-05:00

For two weeks in a row now I have had the pleasure of walking down the street to a park/forest/farm area and just wander around a bit. These walks offer an opportunity for some of the most relaxing time during my day.

Something about walking around a wide open space or inside a forest relaxes me. Breathing in the fresh air and just being distracted by putting one foot in front of the other takes an enormous amount of weight off my shoulders.

Which is odd because a lot of the talks on these meanderings are about weighty subjects. But that does make me like them any less.

I also sat outside just reading for an hour and a half on a bench on Sunday and that was equally relaxing. Except for the part where my back was angry at me for doing so. Spring doesn't last terribly long, before we know it summer will be here in all it's ridiculously hot glory and we wont want to go outside as much.

So I implore you to go outside and enjoy the fresh air while you still want to. On sunny days where clouds billow through the skies like ships on the water, enjoy walking around and feeling the sunshine on your face.

Who knows, maybe that winter pastiness will even go away. But really, even if you don't want to go for a walk go outside and read or even sit on your computer outside, the fresh air really is quite great. I know a lot of people like to lay outside in the grass and peruse tumblr, and that is perfectly fine, just go outside!

I don't know what it is about the fresh air that calms my nerves, but it does. Right now it's raining otherwise I might be exploring late at night.

Thanks for reading as always, stay awesome! Almost done with the semester, woo!

Post 232 | Settled

2013-04-03T23:57:00.003-05:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Settled, finally! Have roommates for next year! Thank goodness! Maybe I wont feel so alone next year eh? Maybe.

It's weird that I feel so alone even though I am in a relationship. I think it has to do with the fact that I wind up here in my room alone a lot. I think having three other guys who I actually like and I presume like me to interact with next year in an apartment wil be much better than life has been in these damn dorms.

Plus I wont have to deal with all the crap in the dorms and stuff. It really sucks in here. College living isn't that great! If I could live at home I probably would. My bed and all my stuff is there! This isn't like at the end of Toy Story 3 where Andy drives off with basically all of his crap, that doesn't happen.

But I am beyond happy to have people to live with next year and apparently some kind of reunion is going on where we're trying to get everyone from our freshman year dorm floor to move into the same apartment building which would be fantastic I love and miss those guys.

Alright, I should probably go to bed at some point, I was Skyping with someone but he had to meander off to the telephone.

Trying to be happier and stuff. Made some stop motion animation stuff which you can check out here: http://www.youtube.com/user/jneuman313

I'm gunna try and make one as often as I can with my different toys and stuff. It should be fun and keep me interested in stop motion animation which I can't believe I forgot my love for. Thank you mom for Frankenweenie for Easter, inspired me to get back into it.

Ok, that is all for now, talk to you all laterz. Thanks for reading! And thanks Jonathan for commenting! Now if only everyone who reads this would comment! Do it! Thanks!

Post 231 | Close

2013-03-26T14:45:00.001-05:00

So close yet so far to securing roommates for next year.

Texted one of my friends who I knew they needed a fourth... Couple days later get a text back saying two of them are down just have to talk to the third... Two days later run into the guy I texted... Turns out they had another person lined up for the fourth and the third was the tie breaker between me and this other guy and he chose the other guy. Odd because I thought he and I were pretty good friends. Oh well, suppose not.

Needless to say in a pretty bad mood right now. This is three times now roommate stuff hasn't worked out for me in as many years. It's fucking faaaaantastic. So ready to graduate and get my own place and not have to worry about any of this crap anymore.

Just going to keep rolling with the punches. I feel like the next one will break me. Which will suck. Oh well.

Post 230 | Alone

2013-03-20T00:13:00.004-05:00

All it takes is one thing to remind me how alone I am. Today I received an email telling us when housing signups were. No one wants to room with me. I can feel it in my bones. Freshman year I thought I gained all these great connections. Then some friends and I tried to get an apartment and it fell through and none of them wanted to room with me. Then no one wanted to room with me the following year, and then the guy who I was gunna room with bailed on me and I just expect it to go this way again. I just always wind up with whoever is on the damn facebook group.

I hate being the odd one out. The one no one really wants. The one that everyone smiles when they see but when I pass they probably just shake their head and walk away.

I hate feeling alone.

I know I am not completely alone but I definitely feel it. I have Tasha and I have some friends, but none that can or will live with me. One is going to a different college next year, one is a girl, and my quote, un quote best friend is Tasha, also a girl…

I’m not alone but I feel alone.

I suppose you could say I don’t really have a best guy friend right now. I would say it’s weird, but it’s not really. I haven’t really had a want for one for so long now, but I am sitting here in my room alone and it sucks. Last year there were guys on my floor that hung with me and we had a good time but they all moved to apartments so all alone I am here in the dorms with a roommate that I don’t think even likes me, probably just tolerates me.

Oh well.

Suppose that’s just my life now. I am really looking forward to being done with college. Move onto the real world. Where I can live with whomever I want or even alone. Maybe my fish is my best guy friend right now… Which is funny but sad.

Fuck the system, man. I really wish I could just get a place by myself here. It would make stuff a lot simpler. Not worry about anyone else, not deal with anyone else. Sure I would be alone, but I wouldn’t feel rejected, it would be by choice. Does that make sense? Yeah? No?

Maybe someone will offer for me to live with him this year. That would be nice. But it probably won’t happen.

I’ll just be alone.

In a bad place, goodnight.

Post 229 | 21

2013-03-18T22:52:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday I turned 21. On 3.13.13 I turned 21. Look at all of those 13s. That's pretty awesome.

My family came down. My sisters fought. Same old same old.

It's not really different yet.

Just thought I should post something about it.

School has sort of taken over my life. Well, it did last week during my birthday. Just so much to do. I had quire the difficult test this morning as well.

Oh well.

Just gunna keep on truckin. I used that in a post already.

DAMN. Oh well.

Also feeling more lonely lately than I probably should.

That is all.

Post 228 | Stuffs

2013-02-27T00:28:00.000-06:00

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

I am so utterly and completely done with this entire research thing that college is so intent on engraining into my mind. Well, I suppose it isn't the research I am done with so much as the process that my Communication Theory professor is putting us through.

Some research can be really fun and informative and interesting. I really liked learning about the Narrative Paradigm as much as I have so far, but I had to write down every quote I want to use in my paper on a notecard from at least 15 sources...

I've spent the last two weeks or so reading through my already collected sources and highlighting stuff and today I probably spent a total of 5-6 hours just writing the stuff down onto the notecards. Now I have a stack of at least 154 notecards (I may have miscounted) and one hell of a hand cramp.

I know next year I will be researching quite a bit as well, having to write a senior speech and all, but hopefully it wont be as bad as this 16+ page paper I have to write for this class.

Besides that torment I had this wonderful time in Chicago this past weekend with my fellow newspaper staff members. If I haven't mentioned it before, I run the website for my school paper. This past weekend we went to a conference and went to seminars and walked around Chicago, A LOT.

And it was wonderful. I loved walking around the city late at night while it was snowing and I even got to talk to one of my professors a bunch and heard some great stories and she's really awesome. She even gave my girlfriend a ride to her class this morning as it was raining ice bullets.

It was great to just walk around and just breathe the city in. I could really live there, I really hope I get to. I would love to work downtown at a radio station or TV station or even any communications job really. I feel like I am getting close to the point where I would be comfortable in a lot of different positions.

I am writing a short story for my creative writing class and I am satisfied with where it going so far, I am going to attempt to finish it tomorrow, it cannot run on for too long so here's hoping. It's about flying pirate ships and a battle between two of them. It's kinda cool actually.

I should probably be heading to bed now, 8am class does not treat me well. Thanks for reading! Please comment! I promise I'll respond!

Post 227 | Truckin'

2013-02-19T20:15:00.002-06:00

Hey ya'llllllll. Ok, no. Let's not do that.

Hello! How goes it the no people who read this thing? Good? Good! I'm glad! I haven't written in almost a month because, well, nothing is happening. Literally nothing. School just keeps on trucking on and I keep on along with it.

It's been a rather uneventful month or so. Simply trying to stay on top of everything. Which is proving difficult, I have to talk to two of my teachers tomorrow about rescheduling tests. I am going to be in Chicago on Friday for a conference for my school paper. Hey it's a free night in a nice hotel with a super comfy bed and a bunch of free decent food. I am in.

Plus I'll get to hang and talk to some people I like. Some people I find annoying. Oh well. I feel like it's going to turn into me and this one girl talking about Downton Abbey the entire time. Which I am perfectly ok with.

My novel is now in the hands of two English teachers who are editing it for me. One from high school and one is my current Creative Writing teacher. I am trying very hard to be talkative in Creative Writing to get more people talking and get conversations going. It is proving difficult but I like to think it is helping me.

I am past the first tests of the semester and onto the second this week and next. I don't know what it is about the first test in any class but I always have a really tough time. I am hoping it goes better this time around so I can raise the grades slightly before midterm. Which is about 10 days away which is also insane.

How is the semester already half way done? INSANITY.

Other than that not a lot to report. I finished Doctor Who, or finished catching up to Doctor Who a few weeks ago. I can say I am hooked and I like 10 the best. If you are a fan you know what I am talking about. Spring Break is in about a week in a half which shall be quite pleasant. I need to 1. Get a haircut 2. Meet up with an old teacher of mine to discuss my novel, and 3. Call my old piano teacher.

I am just going to keep on trucking as should all of you. Stay awesome, thanks for reading!

Post 226 | Cloud Atlas

2013-01-12T17:32:00.000-06:00

Let's begin with a quote like I used to, shall we?

"And only as you gasp your dying breath shall you understand, your life amounted to no more than on drop in a limitless ocean!"
"Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?" - David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas

Towards the end of 2012 I became determined to read Cloud Atlas. I had seen trailers for the movie and had read a lot about it and wanted to do nothing else but read that book. And that's what I did. I read Cloud Atlas and at the end stood shocked and amazed.

Cloud Atlas is truly one of the great books of our lifetimes. It pushes boundaries and makes us question what we believe in such an interesting and provocative way. The way it is all weaved and put together is simply astounding.

I didn't know this book existed until the creation of the movie, and I am beyond grateful it was made into a movie. By the time I finished the book it was no longer easy to go see it in theaters, so recently I watched, well, a crummy version online because that's what I had to do. I needed to see it.

And it translated marvelously to film.

A lot, and when I say a lot I mean: A LOT, of critics despised the film or found it messy and poorly directed. I would like to point out, though, that Roger Ebert, the famous critic, gave it 4/4 stars and called a movie he would watch over and over again (source).

They translated the book so beautifully to film, changing things ever so slightly to make the film more effective as the film. Instead of six separated stories, we never lingered on one or the other for far too long, instead bouncing between the six showing their connections and ideas. It was brilliantly done.

The actors did a superb job, playing out sometimes six different roles. The effects, costumes, and make up were all astounding, leaving me sometime to forget that a male actor was behind the face of a female character or vice a versa. It was amazing. AND THE SCORE HOLY CRAP THE SCORE IT IS GENIUS. Seriously, the music captures me in a way no score has since Deathly Hallows Part 2

If you love books or movies I insist you give this a read or watch (when it comes out February 3rd!). It is a book that takes six different literary styles and forms and fits them together perfectly. How the hell did David Mitchell pull that off?

Alright, I have said what I wanted to say about this marvelous story. Just go read it. Or watch it. It's completely and utterly worth your time. Thanks for reading!

Post 225 | 2012

2012-12-31T02:58:00.001-06:00

Hey, look at that, the world didn't end! We made it! Another entire year behind us. Isn't that kind of insane?

I'm sitting here thinking about the year and it was just... wow. A lot happened this year. Well, a lot in my life at least. I'm sure a lot happens every year, this was just kind of a big year for me. And on one side it feels like it was and on the other side it doesn't because not a lot changed, ya know?

No, you don't know probably. Unless you are one of the few that do know. I'm not ready for everyone to know, but the important people know, so yeah. Woo! That was exciting! Scary! But it all worked out and here I am on the other side.

I had a pretty good year I think. It definitely had its ups and downs but I think it was mostly ups. We should run through some examples, yeah? Yeah. LISTS. Lists are what happen at the end of the year. In no particular order...

Cabin trip!
Playstation Vita
JOURNEY... FUCKING. JOURNEY.
My fish didn't die!
World didn't end
Love
Gained some friends
Didn't lose any friends over what I was worried about... yet?
Ratchet and Clank Collection (UYA multiplayer BACK)
New TV
Cards Against Humanity
Cloud Atlas (book)
Got addicted to How I Met Your Mother
Game of Thrones
Downton Abbey
Survived Pro Comm and Comm Ethics
Giant Bomb bought by CBS?
Brave (PIXAR IS BACK AFTER CARS 2 FAIL)
Life
Wrote a novel!

I'm sure I am missing a plethora of things, but that is what comes to mind right now. I really liked this year, but I am so ready for 2013. I turn 21 in 2013! Here's a better one... By birthday is 3.13.13 which is 3.13.13 backwards. I turn 21 on 3.13.13 That's fun, right? Yeah? Yeah. It is. I love that. Born on a Friday that 13th. I love 13.

There's a lot that I hope will happen in 2013, and I lot I am hoping to leave behind in 2012. The clock keeps on turning and life keeps on moving forward. It's exciting, scary, and mind boggling all at the same time. I love it.

It's been great, 2012, now move over for 2013. Thanks for reading, here's to another great year.

Post 224 | Finish

2012-12-10T00:16:00.002-06:00

Well, this is it, the final week of the semester. Where did time go? Seems like yesterday was Ollies Follies and suddenly I have two days of classes and three days of finals left. I really don't know what happened.

Looking back at the semester, I am fairly satisfied. I think overall there was only one class that I absolutely disliked going to and that is mostly blamed on the teacher. I think in all of my other classes I managed to learn at least something.

Mass media I gained a much better understanding about the flow of money in the media industry.

Communication ethics, well, I learned A LOT in that class, too much.

Radio News/Interviewing I learned a lot about script writing and leads and stuffs.

General Physical Science, I like science, ok? And I build a bad ass trebuchet on the last lab day.

Nonlinear Editing I LEARNED HOW TO USE FINAL CUT PRO OK AWESOME

Christian Scriptures II... I wrote an exegesis... leave me alone... Not like this class.

But yeah, overall it was a fairly sucessful semester. I am mostly satisfied with my grades, we'll see how well I did on the exegesis and if it picks up my grade, but I think most of my grades will stay pretty stationary after finals.

I am not terribly worried about finals at all. Just lots of "final tests" about the last sections of chapters or whatever, nothing terribly difficult. It feels weird to be going into this week not worrying a lot. I feel like all of my other semester have had me terrified.

MY BOOK. I have sent it to various past teachers and also my immediate. One of my old english teachers LOVED IT. We are meeting up over break to talk about it. He asked if I had looked into getting it published... So... That's pretty sweet. After some editing and stuff we'll see where I can go with it. Maybe self publish? Or actually publish?

It would be pretty cool to get it out there for people to read and buy and stuff. It's been a long? semester. Not really long so much because, really, thinking about it I feel like yesterday was Ollies Follies (which is our beginning of the year celebration thing), it's really weird.

Ok, it's 12:15am, maybe bed should happen for the one thing I have happening tomorrow, which is a test, which I am prepared for. Man this is a weird feeling. Ok, thanks for reading, stay awesome!!!

Post 223 | Novel

2012-11-27T09:49:00.000-06:00

I wrote a novel. An entire novel. My word count stands firm at 50,075. The goal was 50,000. I don't know how it happened but everything kind of wrapped up perfectly around that 49,900 mark. It was weird. But I did it!

Multiple times during the month I would sit back and look at it and just shake my head like no way in hell was this going to happen. But here I stand, well sit, across that finish line, with a completed novel on my hard drive. I should probably save it in other places, eh?

That took me 26 days. If you go back and look at my graph you can see the insane writing days I had in there. I thing the most I wrote was yesterday, just under 9,000 words in one day. That's craaaaaazy. That is so many damn words!

I am pretty happy with how it turned out. I don't really want to go into detail about what happened during the entire thing but there was happy and there was great sadness. Lot's of lows and highs. I almost made another low happen at the end but I decided against it, instead giving one of the characters more of a chance to talk something out rather than act rashly.

In the end I think I did alright. It's probably not that great if someone read through it, but I think it is decent enough. I worked pretty hard on it and am very proud of myself for completing it.

Now I have to snap back into the real world. These next two weeks have a lot of work in them and I should really get cracking on some of it. I'll probably work on my radio project and that take home test for ethics after all of my classes today.

Ugh, those are going to be painful, but I need to get them done I suppose. The sooner I finish that take home test the sooner I can get cracking on that research paper.

Anyways, I wrote a novel, I'm proud of that accomplishment. I may email some of my old teachers and see what they think of it, maybe in my creative writing class next semester I'll have a chance to go back into it and fine tune a bunch of it. There are some things I know that could be better, but some that I really like.

I probably wont post here much over the next three weeks or so, due to the end of the semester, but I'll see if any thoughts come to mind worth writing. Thanks for reading as always, stay awesome.

Post 222 | Dissection

2012-11-14T16:17:00.002-06:00

The dissection of words is one of my least favorite things to do. Ever. And lo and behold I have to write an entire ten page paper dissecting the words and phrases in one small passage of the Bible. It's called an exegesis and it is one of the worst assignments I have had to do over my past two and a half years at college.

I believe the problem with dissecting written material like this is something that was never meant to be done. I do not think authors write down anything expecting someone to pick it apart sentence by sentence or word by word. It honestly seems like a colossal waste of time to me. Someone wrote something because they wanted to. They wanted to get a simple and clear meaning across, and not use certain words because they used them three chapters ago or anything.

Especially the writers of the Bible. There may be some authors out there like that trying to fit in hidden meaning into their books, but I do not think any of the writers of the Bible had any intention of doing that.

I am "exegeting" the passage 1 Thessalonians 5:12-24. Needless to say I am not wild about the Bible being separated like this in the first place, but let's keep moving. The passage basically tells the Thessalonians to care for those who are wandering away from the path of God, be joyful, care for others, don't be sucked in by evil and may God bless you. See right there, that is what it says. But, with this paper I have to take it line by line, verse by verse and explain every little nuance.

I. Hate. It.

I am no theology major, I have no interest in reading four different commentaries on this one passage that all say the same exat thing about it. I am a communications major. Let me talk about the media or something and I will be happy! For example, I am doing a research paper on the ethics in video games. How awesome is that? I do not like my ethics class much but this is something I am at least interested in.

I do not think that dissecting a passage like this is in any way beneficial to us in this class. In fact I do not even think it would help anyone in their faith for that matter.

William Shakespeare did not mean for every one of his proses or lines to be taken out of context and dissected for their meaning, I don't think the writers of the Bible, or most books for that matter, want it done either.

My rough belief in God is shaky enough as it is, putting something like this in front of me and acting like it is beneficial to my faith in any way pushes me farther away from being interested in what the Bible says. Let me read it in my own way and take away from it want I want to take from it, not what ten other sources says it says.

That is my rant of the day. Now I have to write seven more pages by Monday of next week if I do not want to worry about it over Thanksgiving. Thanks for reading.

P.S. I am participating in National Novel Writing Month so a lot of my writing effort is going there right now. Here are my stats if you are at all interested.

Post 221 | Tests

2012-10-28T02:29:00.000-05:00

So... School... It's... Well... Hard.

School is incredibly difficult. Sure a lot of my time is spent sitting around watching the West Wing or something, but when you get down to it, school is very difficult. Tomorrow, or today I guess, I will be spending multiple hours studying for a test I have on Tuesday. It will probably be one of the more difficult tests I have had the liberty to subject myself to.

Ya see, all of this school is optional. I could drop out, start working full time or something, and just keep going with my life. I have chosen to throw myself into this wonderful land of school and tests.

Why title this posts 'Tests' if I am just going to ramble on about how hard school is, well I'll get to that.

Ya see, I really like school. Dare say, I love school. I love learning and expanding my mind. I have no problem with school being difficult, I just have a problem with the whole 'Testing' aspect of school.

We had a discussion in my Ethics of Communication class a few weeks ago about this very subject: Tests. What about them? Are they pointless in the 'Age of Information' that we live in? Maybe? Perhaps? Sometimes I think so.

The first test we had in Ethics nearly everyone failed. I don't mean "got a 64" failed I mean "Oh... My score was a 32... Mine was a 53..." failed. Most, if not all of us, bombed it with every fiber of our being. The ironic part is while taking the test, I thought I was doing quite well. There were a few questions I had difficulty answering, but overall I believed my answers to be strong and well written. It was purely an essay test in case you were wondering.

But someone in the class brought up a very good point during our discussion on tests. She asked what the point of them is now that if we need to know something we have access to that information at our fingertips. Literally. Whip out my smart phone and I can tell you just about anything you want to know.

I think the idea of college is moving from information based, to application based. I believe that we need to know how to apply information rather than know that information. If I forget some guy's name that deals with some theoretical principle, should I be held accountable to that in the real world? Not really.

Instead I should just know the principle, or even if I forget the finer details in passing, be able to recall those. But I should not have to know everyone involved with every idea, or even every idea for that matter. If I was given a list of those ethical principles or theories or what-have-you I would be able to tell you what they all are. I think that is the sort of knowledge college classes should be focusing on teaching.

Not whether or not I can connect the name of the person whose ideas the principle stemmed from. Of course I could just being nit-picky with it all and should really just accept tests in school. But I think whoever is reading this understands the point I am trying to make.

The Professor, or Doctor now, who teachers Ethics is incredibly intelligent, but not even she can recall all of the information we need to know for these tests on a whim. What makes it even more infuriating is that for say a fifteen point question, we need to know thirty facts about what we are writing. What if we cannot recall twenty-five facts in that instant? What if there are not even fifteen separate facts for that topic? AH. DAMN. RIGHT?

It can be quite infuriating at times. It is all very interesting, just infuriating. The communications professors, two specifically, are incredibly difficult to handle. I think the communications major is one of the most difficult majors here. The basic and even advanced media classes are not that difficult, but when we start looking into the more theoretical classes like Persuasion in Media or Ethics in Communication or Professional Communication, it becomes more and more difficult to handle.

But hey, if I work through it and succeed like I am trying to, I will get one hell of an education. Which is ironic considering I go to a Christian school... Haha, I am not even sure if I am Christian entirely. It's a weird thing right now. Oh well, that's a topic for a different night.

Well, that was a longer post than I anticipated it being. Once I get on a roll I tend not to stop. Well if you read that whole thing thank you very much, and if not, maybe you should? Comment on what you think about tests!

I'll probably have a campaign post coming up what with the election in a week or so. I submitted my absentee ballot last week. HOW AWESOME IS THAT TO VOTE RIGHT. I voted for President Barack Obama in case you were wondering. Thanks again for reading. Till next time!

Post 220 | Editing

2012-10-10T20:16:00.001-05:00

So, there is something I have been doing a lot of this semester, and that is editing.

I have edited countless little papers and assignments for Tasha, and I actually really enjoy it. I like hunting down errors and making sentences work. Granted I do not like editing my own papers. I am not a fan of reading my own writing. I always think it sounds stupid and dumb. Or dumb and stupid.

But editing, man, who knew it could be so fun. Plus reading summaries of history readings teaches me stuff. Vicariously learning all of this information about American History through Tasha's homework. Not that I every retain much of it... What did I just read about?

Something about Christianity and Adams and John Locke? When I saw the name John Locke I got excited. Anytime anyone learns about the real John Locke it's exciting for me. I'm such a LOST geek it is kind of ridiculous.

I was thinking about starting a mini-business where I would edit people's papers for them for a small fee or something. I mean it would be easy for people to get their friends to do it, but hey I am pretty decent at it. I do not always catch everything but I catch nearly everything. Plus I am getting better at it.

I should really take more english classes here. It is something I really enjoy. I should look into an English Minor more... That requires me talking to my advisor, which requires work. Oh damn signing up for classes next semester is going to start happening soon, isn't it? AHHH that makes me worried.

But I am going to try not to worry! Cause worrying sucks! I hate it! I am such a worry wart!

Can you tell I am little hyper right now? I have absolutely no idea what it is. I am typing very quickly and my keyboard is making quite the "clackity-clack" noise.

So yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah. That's all I really had to write about today. Not much else going on. I had a pretty nice fall break. Nice to get away from school, see my family, and get some alone time for realz with Tasha. Is realz a word? No? Too bad. It should be one. I should start trying to use it in Scrabble or something. Anyways, thanks for reading!

Post 219 | Debated

2012-10-04T21:34:00.000-05:00

To begin, I am voting to reelect President Obama. I simply agree with his stand on issues much more than I do Romney. I also do not trust Romney to understand the American people. He was raised wealthy, and is still wealthy. He has always been handed things on a silver platter. President Obama started out low and has worked his way to the top. The very top for that matter.

Just because President Obama did poorly in the first debate does not, by any means, determine he is going to loose. He has not debated in a public setting like that for four years now. Of course the first time around is going to be a little rough. Romney has nothing else to do but work his way to being elected. President Obama kind of has another job at the moment. Ya know, being president.

What matters in the end is of course their stance on issues and their plans for this country. Public speaking is something that a president must be good at, of course, but debating is something entirely different. I should know, I have participated in a debate.

Of course it was nothing like this one, it was vastly different, but I still completely understand perhaps being a little caught off guard and being unable to answer all of the questions, or handle all of the issues that are perhaps being presented accurately and well.

I will say again, one debate does not determine an election, at least so far as I know. From what it seems a lot of people seem to think that this debate is turning the tides of the election, or they are questioning whether or not Obama still "has it." Whatever "it" may be.

He has a very important job to do right now, running the country is an incredibly difficult job. He has so much going on and so much to do that preparing for a debate was probably not everything he had on his mind at the time.

Then the question comes to whether he was simply saving all of his big points for the last debate, when things re really down the wire. Is he saving his calling out of Romney's mistakes for the last debate? WHere he can really make an impact on what people are thinking, closer to actual election day and to have his points be more recent in peoples' minds, compared to a few weeks earlier.

I guess we shall see. It shall be an interesting one. Thanks for reading, what do you guys think? Comment below!

Post 218 | Babel

2012-10-02T16:55:00.000-05:00

So, in an effort to write more, here I am once again for another post already. Sure I could wait to write another, but if I feel like writing I should go ahead and write, right? Right.

Mumford & Sons recently released an album called Babel. I believe it was last Tuesday in fact. I have been listening to it quite a bit over the past week and I can say it is wonderful. I also love the word "babel." There is just something fun about that word. They say it differently on the album than what perhaps you are reading it as. They say "bay-bel." Odd right?

I assume it is simply because they are from London and, well, they say words differently over there.

I read a tweet this past week that said something like "Mumford & Sons can just keep writing the same song over and over again and get props for it." It was not exactly like that, but I believe you get the point the tweet is trying to make.

Many of their songs do sound quite similar, but they are all very different, and I love them.

This album has a wonderful mix of slow and quick songs, even a few slow then quick ones. It has a wonderful rhythm to it and really keeps you engaged. If you pump up the volume and really rock out to these songs, whether it be in your car, in your dorm, or just in your headphones... CRANK IT UP. This music really moves when you can hear all of the different acoustic instruments working together to create some amazing melodies.

It isn't a Sgt. Pepper or Abbey Road to be sure, but it is still a wonderful album. I love their sound and if you have found any of their songs even remotely good, you should definitely check it out.

According to dictionary.com, babel means "a confused mixture of sounds or voices." The sounds on this album come together in a way that isn't confusing at all. A long time ago now I had this ranking system for different forms of media I was reviewing, from books to video games. If you remember that system at all I definitely give this album an A.

Sometimes we are all caught up in a babel of emotions. I am very thankful to not be in that situation right now. I dealt with that this summer and am very happy where I am right now. No babel of emotions in my life. If you are caught in one right now, maybe step back a moment and look at your life. Like I said in my last post, if you are not happy, do something to change that. It might be hard, and the road to happiness may be rough, but in the end, happiness is what is important.

Thanks for reading. Check back daily this week, I'll see if I can keep this up.

Canon T3 12.2MP Digital SLR Camera with 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 IS II Lens - (Google Affiliate Ad)