Breast Cancer? Ain't nobody got time for that!!!

The Pink Veneer

2014-10-07T06:32:00.000-05:00

Save the ta-tas! Hooray for the hooters! Do you have breast cancer? Congratulations, it appears you’ve joined the it crowd. Step right up and claim your seat at the cool kids table. An invitation to a variety of splendid social events is now yours.

The reality of a breast cancer diagnosis is not adorable, exciting, or pink. It’s dark, lonely, and miserable. The sudden realization that you are vulnerable comes as a shock. Cancer is ugly. It beats you down, even if you focus on staying positive. Fatigue rules the day. Surgery is difficult – scars remain. Chemo is in a toxic class of its own. Unpleasant side effects manifest – some linger. Radiation is a daily burn.

It’s a scheduling nightmare to juggle doctors’ appointments, treatment times, and babysitters’ availability, without dropping the ball. It means working on days you feel like quitting. When you hit a wall, it requires placing your pride on the back burner in order to reach out and plead for a little help. It’s trying to put on a happy face, so the kids don’t get scared.

The entire experience is an all-consuming emotional drain. It’s even hard to hear well-meaning people exclaim that they are glad you are “all done with that,” as damage to your body and psyche lingers.

Happy to be alive? Without question. Ever be the same? Never. Are you ready to tie on your pink ribbon and head back to the party?

Summer Camp For Grown Ups!

2013-09-19T07:00:00.000-05:00

Today, I am missing about 50 ladies and one man. I recently returned from Camp Mak-A-Dream's Women's Cancer Retreat in Gold Creek, Montana. I don't have room for all the adjectives needed to describe the experience, the setting, and the women!

Montana sunrise!

Oh, about that man, I miss him at least three times day. He's the chief cook and bottle washer at the camp, and he is good at his job! It was an indulgent experience to simply show up at the main lodge and have a steaming breakfast, lunch, and dinner awaiting with the bonus of no dishes to wash!

Camp Mak-A-Dream Main Lodge

I met a young lady whose friend discouraged her from attending by asking why she would want spend time sitting around with a bunch of depressed women talking about cancer. The camp experience was in actuality bursting from the other end of the spectrum! A diverse group of women - from twenty-somethings to that age range where it is impolite to ask for a number - came together and didn't do much sitting around!

Unless we were sitting around in this hot tub!

Some women had conquered cancer years ago, others were fresh from the fight, and a few were still in the throes of the battle. However, this group was so overflowing with life and laughter that one would never guess. They were open to everyone emotionally and willing to take on just about anything physically. Wheelchairs and canes were cast aside as women old enough to be my grandmother joined everyone else in the big tree house to sail down the zip line! There were hikes, a climbing wall, and an art studio to keep us busy. There were educational sessions on everything from healing after cancer to gentle yoga. Above all, there was a spirit of connection with a lovely group of ladies and breathtaking scenery punctuated by the distant bugling of elk.

Montana sunset!

You. Are. Cured.

2013-07-15T07:00:00.000-05:00

After my year of pitching a tent at the cancer center, I went in for a follow-up and the doctor declared "you are cured!" Then I woke up from my dream and realized that never happened. I know, it should! I wish it would! But, it hasn't.

Instead, I'm floating in this weird limbo where the major things feel done, but appointments still dot my calendar. I have follow-ups and follow-ups to the follow-ups. Medications still have to be refilled. I have pains here and there. Hair growth is slow. Too much to declare myself bald and not enough to feel comfortable going out without a hat.

My medical oncologist sent me to X-ray for some ongoing pain in my ankle. The result was to move me on to an MRI. The nurse called the other day and said "well, it is not cancer but you do have some orthopaedic issues." Now, I'm being referred to an orthopaedic specialist for these unknown "issues." Wait, back the truck up! What did she mean by saying "it's not cancer!" I never thought it was! Was that a possibility? I am not going to go through life worrying that every little pain is cancer. But, sometimes there is a little evil minion in the far recesses of my brain that wants to place that thought in my head. I usually squash him. But, sometimes I wonder. If my body could "make" cancer cells once, what keeps it from doing it again? BOOM! Sorry, I had to take a rubber mallet to that evil minion. It made a bit of a mess, but I think it will all work out.

"Radiation Break Up"

2013-06-20T11:00:00.000-05:00

I had to end a relationship today. That's right, I broke up with the radiation techs. I told them that while our relationship had been short, it was intense and brought me nothing but pain. I softened the break up for them with loads of candy!

After 30 daily (minus weekends) treatments, I have graduated from my radiation therapy! I faired well. My skin held up and I only have one sore spot under my arm. Granted, that spot is a wee bit painful...but overall, I think I did pretty good. I have to thank my Mom for doing a major splurge for me. For someone uber-practical, the purchase of a nearly $400 bottle of "La Mer" concentrate was a stretch! She heard from others who had used it during radiation to treat the skin that it was practically miraculous. I used it daily before bed during treatment. When examined, my nurses and my radiation oncologist declared that my skin did "phenomenal." So, there you go. I'm only bringing this up in case this could help anyone else and to thank my Mom.

While I'm thanking people...look at these great flowers from my husband and kids!

It's great to be done!!! After almost exactly a year of all this, It didn't seem like this day would ever get here. I didn't think it would, but to be honest it hit me emotionally. After my last treatment and on my way to the exam room to see the doctor I got a little teary. My nurse was great, after a hug she handed me a congratulations card from the radiation oncology team and soldiered on through the information I would need next. It felt good to leave the cancer center with the book she gave me..."Life After Cancer Treatment."

Halfway!

2013-05-29T18:38:00.000-05:00

Today, I hit the midpoint of my radiation treatments! That's 15 down and 15 to go. We're making some progress! When the radiation oncologist examined me, he said things were looking good. In fact, better than average! That's good because I'm trying really hard to prevent some of the awful skin problems that can occur. Right now, I look like I have a very slight sunburn. I don't think there is much that can be done to prevent some radiation burn. I just want to avoid the blisters, peeling and other yucky things. So, I am hopeful for the best!

To celebrate "Happy Halfway Day!" I brought a big basket of chocolate to the appointment with me. It seems that people don't normally do that and so...I'm one popular patient! Now I bet they'll be expecting something even more spectacular for the the last day. I'll have to think on that one.

"Squishing and Burning"

2013-05-06T07:00:00.000-05:00

Okay, the burning hasn't started yet. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. The squishing, however, has been completed and with good results! I went in for a mammogram and all is well! That, obviously, is MUCH better news than the news resulting from my first mammogram.

The burning is about to commence. I met with my radiation oncologist the day after the mammogram. I was taught all about what is to come. My 30 rounds of radiation therapy starts Wednesday. The most interesting part is my radiation oncologist himself. First, I'm thrilled to see him (since seeing him means I've completed chemo)! Second, he's funny.

When it was time for me to "get into a gown" during my exam. The nurse stayed in the room with me and he stood in front of the door and pulled the privacy curtain in front of him saying "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain." He did it in his best spooky, crazy wizard voice. He then told me everything he needed to know to be a radiation oncologist he learned in third grade - how to write on yourself (or in this case someone else). After taking a black marker to my skin, and drawing lines and dots, I got to keep the marker! Perk! Actually, they just aren't allowed to use it on anyone else. Sterile marker! I will keep it in case I want autographs from everyone when this is all done! You never know.

Chemo Is Over!

2013-04-27T14:05:00.000-05:00

It's over! The chemo part that is. I went in for the tenth and final treatment two days ago! It was the first time I've looked forward to spending my entire day at the cancer center. I felt like this day was never going to get here!

I'm hoping to be fighting the side effects for the last time! I'm anxious for the muscle and joint pain to fade away. The numbness and tingling in my hands and feet have got to go too!

My cancer center just moved into a brand new wing of the hospital. It's modern, bright and beautifully appointed. But, it is still a cancer center. So, as nice as the new Ambulatory Infusion Unit looks now with it's new recliners (complete with heat and massage) and your very own TV on a swivel arm...I have no desire to see it again! The nurses in there (all wonderful) told me I could at least drop by and say 'hi.' I thought about it for half a second and told them 'no, I don't think so!'

"Congratulations! You did it! Love, Mom and Dad"

(Thank you!!!!)

Of course, I'll be back to the cancer center many times. I have a follow-up appointment with my medical oncologist in about three weeks. I have a mammogram and an appointment with my surgeon next week. I also have six weeks of radiation treatments on the horizon. But, until then I will celebrate having survived the monster that is chemo!

Deja Vu

2013-03-18T14:48:00.000-05:00

I was pretty sure Punxatawny Phil had come and gone this year, but it seems that I was wrong! I had chemo treatment number eight a few days ago and the exact same side effects popped up like a bad penny. So precise that I ended up with the same mouth sore on my tongue in the very same spot!

According to the American Cancer Society, Paclitaxel (Taxol) is an extremely potent chemotherapy drug, often producing a number of side effects in patients. Side effects include severe allergic reactions, cardiovascular problems, infections developing from white blood cell deficiencies, complete hair loss, joint and muscle pain, irritation at the injection site, low red blood cell count, mouth or lip sores, numbness or burning in the hands and feet (peripheral neuropathy), and stomach upset.

While medications designed to prevent or treat nausea, vomiting and decreased white blood cell counts are available, there are currently no treatments for other serious taxane-induced side effects, particularly nerve damage.

That makes me a little nervous. The peripheral neuropathy in my hands and feet is back in full force. It never went away between treatments, but seemed to improve. I hope that any nerve damage rights itself in time when all my treatments are done. I hope it is not permanent!

Right now, I am battling the muscle and joint pains with prescription pain medication. It literally hurts from head to toe! When I woke up this morning, the muscles near my ears even hurt. I have shooting pains my back and stomach muscles as well as my down my legs and into my ankles. The pills help as long as I stay on top of it and don't let them wear off (which I usually do)!

I'm looking forward to feeling better in a few days and enjoying that normal time again before I hit the "repeat" button two more times.

That Normal Time

2013-03-08T12:38:00.000-06:00

I am enjoying that time period that hangs between chemo treatments where I feel normal. I have recovered from the side effects and a retch-inducing stomach virus I picked up when my counts were low. The downside to this period of time is that it means the next treatment is just around the bend. Usually time flies, but this whole process feels like it is dragging its feet like a grade schooler on his way to the principal's office.

My most recent chemo was my first of the drug Taxol. I felt different than I had before. I was told that this drug comes with side effects that include muscle and joint pain. My oncologist told me to take something for this and call if over-the-counter drugs were not "cutting the mustard." So, a few days after chemo, I called! My whole body hurt, especially my back and ankles. Pain pills helped and it slowly went away after about a week.

The peripheral neuropathy hung around. That is numbness and tingling in the hands and feet. I still have that and am not sure if it has improved somewhat or I'm just getting used to it! I bought some new tennis shoes recently, but have no idea if they are comfortable!

"Baby Chick Fuzz"

2013-01-31T07:00:00.000-06:00

My hairdo, which is super easy to care for since it actually consists of no hair, has changed just a wee bit. Kaylee (my 10-year-old daughter) calls it my "baby chick fuzz." It looks like I've grown in a titch of hair between treatments. It's soft, light and barely there! It delights Kaylee, for whatever reason, who likes to rub the "baby chick fuzz." Unfortunately, I noticed when I rubbed my head recently some fuzz fell out. Bummer. At least I'm entertaining my child!

Despite being a lot smoother, there are other things caused by chemo that I have been able to avoid so far. I was given a laundry list of possible side effects and worried about which ones might manifest in me. I have not had mouth sores (a big one on my worry list), fingernail changes or a metallic taste in my mouth.

I have had shingles, a bladder infection, tummy issues (to put it delicately), loads of bad heartburn, queasiness, major lack of energy, body aches (flu-like aches and pains), fatigue, headaches, hair loss and strep throat (you don't appreciate your immune system until it doesn't work as well as it did)!

The best one is "Chemo Brain." It doesn't matter if you actually have this cognitive impairment/fuzzy thinking/forgetfulness that can be caused by chemo. It's a great excuse for everything! Oh, was I supposed to clean the cat's litter box? So sorry, must have been chemo brain! Did the baby have a dirty diaper when I handed him to my husband? Yes, he did! Sorry I didn't notice, must have been chemo brain! Thanks for changing him anyway! See, there should be some perks!

"Unexpected Weekend Trip"

2013-01-29T12:30:00.000-06:00

So, that wasn't exactly the weekend that I had planned. Let me back up. After my chemo on Wednesday, I went home to rest until I noticed that my port was hurting and even more uncomfortable when trying to go to sleep. So, I went into the clinic on Friday morning. After a chest X-ray, a dye test (which was painful) and a CT scan, I was told to go to the hospital. My port had a crack/a leak and had to come out. This was not welcome news, especially since I'm not done using it yet!

The surgery team came to my hospital room and told me it would be a "no big deal" 15 minute procedure to take the port out. I, personally, do not like the idea of being wide awake and nothing but numbed while someone is cutting on me! I could tell they were having problems. A nurse then came in to hold my hand while they worked. They went through a whole bottle of lidocaine because I kept feeling it! About 45 minutes after they started the "easy 15 minute procedure" it was done and the doctor declared it the hardest one he has ever taken out. Great. They stitched me up, gave me pain pills and put me on an IV med. I was hoping to come home then.

Instead, I had to miss Kaylee's first ever basketball game on Saturday afternoon because they made me stay two nights! Due to the possibility of chemo leakage, I had to be given three rounds of some antidote medication about 24 hours apart. I got the last one just before Sunday evening and was then allowed to go home! I'm sore and tired (no such thing as sleep in a hospital). Now, I have to see a doctor to figure out what we do about the rest of the chemo treatments. I won't be getting another port, that much I have decided.

"Last Dance"

2013-01-24T07:00:00.000-06:00

Sorry, my dance card is full! There is no more room for dancing with the Red Devil! I know we may have done a waltz, a jig or even a line dance (I know we did not tango)! However, despite hooking up with the Red Devil six times, literally (via IV that is), there will be no more trips to the ballroom with this nasty guy!

That is something to for which to be thankful! Yesterday, I had my sixth chemo treatment which consists of adriamycin (a.k.a. "The Red Devil") and Cytoxan. I'm finally done with something! I have four more chemo treatments to go. Instead of the previous cocktail, my next treatments will be a chemotherapy drug called Taxol. I have no idea how this one will make me feel, but I'm hoping not as bad as the previous drug combo!

The A/C combo knocked me down pretty hard after our last meeting, Honestly, not a really nice thing to do to your dance partner! I didn't really want to go back yesterday for the final installment, but a commitment is a commitment after all. Sigh.

"Pink Out!"

2013-01-16T07:00:00.000-06:00

I'm not terribly shy. I know, I can hear those of you who know me laughing right about now. However, I'm not going to win an award for "most outgoing" either. So, it was a surprise to me when I found myself on stage in front of a crowd of people last week! Of course, I couldn't really see them with all the lights in my eyes!

I got to attend the Mizzou gymnastics "Pink Out" meet which raises money for Ellis Fischel Cancer Center (a place I'm intimately familiar with now). They needed some token breast cancer survivors to honor on stage before the meet started and since I am a big fan of free stuff, I went! Seven of us walked on stage and waved (we tossed around the idea of dancing Gangnam Style, but we chickened out)! Then we each got a free t-shirt and a pink carnation (which my daughter promptly stole from me)!

The gymnastics meet was a lot of fun and we enjoyed the night out! We will do it again sometime as regular, paying guests!

"Long time, no talk!"

2013-01-14T17:00:00.000-06:00

It has been a while since I have written. I have a good excuse! I didn't want to be negative, I didn't feel good and I was out of town for a while enjoying family for Christmas! I guess that is more than one excuse.

Christmas was wonderful. We got to spend a week in Tulsa with our families. The only not wonderful part was that I got shingles. I do not mean the roof kind either! The nerve pain has calmed down and I thought I was in the clear, but now an intense itching has started in on my left side. Will this ever be done? Go away already!

I had chemo number five the week after Christmas. That puts me at the halfway mark for chemo. I guess that is good, but I am having a hard time seeing the glass half full. I guess this treatment was my "freak out" chemo. It knocked me down so hard that I don't think I can do it again! As if anyone is asking if I want too or not! I felt better about not being so strong about it after talking to someone I met when I was first diagnosed. She and I are about the same age and going through this about the same time. She said she "freaked out" after the third a/c chemo treatment. I waited until my fifth to have a melt down, so I guess I'm not alone! I have one more a/c treatment (dreading it!) and then I switch to taxol. I am really hoping that taxol is somehow an easier drug! A person can always hope!

"No Hair? Don't Care!"

2012-12-19T07:00:00.000-06:00

I have always been afraid to cut my hair shorter than shoulder length (because I like pony tails) and often grow it long. So, I was worried about the hair loss. Turns out...I don't care after all! I really thought being bald would bother me, but it doesn't. Not even a little.

I usually opt for hats in public. At home, I wear them if my head is cold. If not, I dare to go bare! I have a wig that I haven't worn yet. I did get it out and try it on recently. It felt weird! It is now brushed and sitting atop the Styrofoam head on my dresser. As a fun art project, Kaylee decorated the plain white head for me. I'm not sure my blush looks exactly like that and I certainly don't have long eyelashes anymore, but she did give me my blue eyes!

In the scheme of things, having no hair doesn't feel like a big deal. Having surgery, chemo and later radiation feels like a bigger deal. Even that stuff isn't as hard to get through as I thought it would be. There is no choice in the matter, you just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. It is what it is. At times, it is even a blessing. I've met some wonderful people and had a lot of great care. I have seen friends and family members rally around me and I am much more mindful of all the precious little moments in life. I don't sweat as many small things. I hope these are the lessons that stay with me once my hair grows back.

"Blunders and Blessings"

2012-12-07T07:00:00.000-06:00

It was not exactly smooth sailing, but Wednesday was round four of chemo. I was supposed to start the day at 8:30 and expected to be home between 1:00 and 2:00. No such luck. The cancer center is undergoing the learning curve of a new computer system (problem number one). Problem number two was my picky port! One of the chemo meds ("the red devil") just didn't want to go in no matter what they did. I was finally moved to a room with a bed so I could be completely flat, turn my head this way, hold my arm that way....until we finally got it. Then I still had my second chemo med (thank goodness this one is on a pump).

It was getting to be 3:30 at this point, so Kent had to leave and relieve the babysitter. When Kaylee got home from school at 4:00, he came back with the kids in tow. I was close to being done when they got there. It was 5:00 before we finally got home!

However, the blessings of the day were bright! A silent auction fundraiser was taking place downstairs and I had bid on two items. The bidding was to end at 1:00. Kent went downstairs at the end to pay for the items that I won (both of them)! However, my three nurses from the Breast Health Center were also there paying for their items. They figured out who he was and told him to forget it! They had noticed my name on the sheets and had decided they were going to pay for my winning bids, plus bought me yet another item! They gave it all to him with hugs and said "tell her to have a Merry Christmas!" Nothing like that has ever happened to me! They are so wonderful there!

A second blessing: the friend who babysit Jayce all day came back when we finally got home with a freshly made dinner for us! Another friend from church came by last night with a home cooked meal as well. I'm so grateful! It's nice to feel good while you are feeling bad!

"Let's Play...Pass the Infection!"

2012-11-30T15:23:00.001-06:00

It's not really a fun game, but it seems to be what we having been playing in our house lately. Just before Thanksgiving, Jayce got sick. We took him to the doctor and found out he had pneumonia. It was sad to see him so listless and sick. His fever went up to 105 before he started to feel better.

We did manage to make it down to Tulsa for Thanksgiving weekend. It was nice to see everyone, but really exhausting too. I started feeling bad on Saturday morning. A sore throat was kicking in and for about four nights in a row, I didn't get good sleep because it kept waking me. I went to the clinic Monday morning for tests galore. When you are on chemo and your immune system is compromised, they take every little thing seriously. Which means I got a chest X-ray, flu test, strep test, several blood tests, IV fluids. The result: strep throat and an ear infection.

Now that my throat is better and I nestled in for a good night's sleep...I was awakened at 12:30 in the morning by a crying 10-year-old who said her ear hurt. We took care of her and she woke again at 6:00 a.m. Kent took Kaylee to the doctor this morning...ear infection.

I guess we are doing our part to keep the antibiotics companies in business. I'm looking forward to another round of chemo next week (I use the phrase "looking forward" very loosely)! It will be back to feeling sick for me. So, let's hope we can keep everyone else well!

"Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow"

2012-11-21T23:42:00.000-06:00

I had my G.I. Jane moment, but it didn't happen the way I thought it would. It turned out more like Benjamin Button instead. My hair started coming out in great big wads a couple of weeks after my first chemo. Then it slowed down and I was left with very thin hair. It started up again and I was left with zombie-like hair that made every day a mandatory hat day! Now, it is gone. Just little wisps are left (and those are still coming out).

It was very uneventful and not nearly as glamorous as it was when Demi Moore's head hit the shears in G.I. Jane. I guess that is what I expected, minus the really ripped, pumped up muscle queen body!

I'm also not traumatized by my lack of hair. While it certainly makes getting ready in the morning much faster, other time is added trying to choose an outfit that has a hat to match. I haven't gotten around to having my wig fitted yet, so hats it is for now. Hats are fun, and sometimes hot and sometimes itchy. So, sometimes (at home) you just have to dare to go bare!

"Chemo Tricks Me Back"

2012-11-11T22:24:00.000-06:00

I am in the post-chemo feeling bad stage. I had chemo Friday afternoon and the next day my Mom flew back to Tulsa. She had flown in the Saturday before to help during the week because chemo was supposed to be on Tuesday. That's just not the way things turned out.

We went in on Tuesday, had my port accessed, lab work drawn and saw the oncologist. At that point, he was concerned about something "abnormal" and wanted me to see the surgeon. So, instead of chemo I got another mammogram and ultrasound. The next morning, we went back for an appointment with my surgeon. Everything turned out okay, it was just a lot of scar tissue.

But, this pushed chemo to Friday. Mom's plane ticket pushed her back home on Saturday. It was still a huge help having her here. A couple of people from church brought a meal today and that will help this week too.

Right now, I'm just sleepy. Good night!

"No Trick, Just Treat!"

2012-11-01T12:52:00.000-05:00

I tricked my chemotherapy! It was supposed to fall on Halloween. So, I tricked it and moved it to next week so I could have a treat of a day!

Kent and I went to Kaylee's class Halloween party at school. It was a "Monster Mash" dance party in the gym for the 4th and 5th graders. That's 67 kids in costume! They ate, they danced, they sang to pop songs and Halloween favorites! After school, we brought the geisha girl home to get her make-up on (not allowed at school). Then we dressed her pet dinosaur (that would be Jayce). Don't geisha's usually have pet dinosaurs? I would think so.

Then it was off to a nearby grocery store Halloween event. On our way home, we stopped by their former babysitter's house for a quick treat. Then it was down the street to a neighbor's house for a pre-trick or treating Halloween party/dinner! The weather was pretty nice when dusk came and we hit the streets in search of porch lights!

It was a long day, but in a different way than a chemo day is a long day! I would choose this one! Mom is flying into St. Louis on Saturday and we'll go pick her up. She'll be here for a week to help us out since I'm facing a "long day" on Tuesday (AKA Chemo Round 3).

"Hats, Teeth and Other Misc. Stuff"

2012-10-26T07:00:00.000-05:00

I'm in the middle. It's been two weeks since my second round of chemo and it is just less than two weeks until chemo number three. These are supposed to be my "good days." They are, from a chemo standpoint. However, my mouth has betrayed me. The pain from having my tooth pulled at the oral surgeon's last week is lingering. Way. Too. Long. I don't know what is taking it so long to heal, but a hurting mouth makes everything a little less fun.

I also don't know what to do about my hair. What's left of it, that is. I'm in mandatory hat mode. Without the hat, I look a dog with the mange. I've lost 75 to 80% of my hair. I'm just guessing. I know that God knows the number of every hair on my head. That must be an easier job for him now. For now, I need more hats I guess. My Mom bought me a cute one and my Aunt surprised me by sending me a hat made just for me! It was a nice surprise!

I'm also very appreciative of those who have made food for us. It has made life much easier! Thank you to Kristin Steelman for the three frozen, homemade meals! They didn't spend much time in my freezer! Thanks to my Mom for leaving some chili in the freezer! Thanks to Val for always surprising us with dinner! Thanks to my cousin Joni for the Applebee's gift card (we recently enjoyed some 'car side to go')! Love you all!

"Magic Day 9"

2012-10-19T11:14:00.000-05:00

It happened last time and now it has happened again. I'm talking about magic day number nine. Chemo is day one and from that point on the muscle aches and pains, queasy tummy, no appetite, headaches, other stomach issues, low energy and tiredness take hold. Then, on day number nine it stops! That's twice now that day nine has been the first "good day" after chemo. I'm sensing a pattern!

The only thing that marred happy day number nine was my tooth. Yes, my stupid tooth. I have spent hours with the dentist during the past few weeks after a throbbing toothache. On four different occasions, he has worked on a root canal and has been unsuccessful in finishing it. The reasons are complicated (I barely understood what he was saying the problem was). After these visits, he popped a temp filling in and said "let's just wait a month and see how it goes."

It didn't go well. I woke up with the horrible toothache again. This time, he sent me to the oral surgeon. I just went there and had my back, right upper molar yanked. Currently, that has not helped the toothache! I am hopeful that it will heal soon and I can start enjoying my "good" post-chemo days until it is time for another round. In the meantime, I am thankful for pain meds!

"Chemo #2...feeling like poo!"

2012-10-12T09:36:00.000-05:00

I know, that's not a very nice title. But, I'm not feeling very nice today. I had my second round of chemo on Wednesday.

I feel like I'm getting the flu (or about to get to the end of it). My body aches and I feel queasy. I don't have much hair left, but I don't even care about that right now. Okay, I'm done whining now. Onto the good news. My Mom and Dad are here and that means no cooking, cleaning, laundry or baby care to worry about while I'm feeling crummy. They leave on Sunday, but hopefully I will feel better by then.

Kaylee's 10th birthday was yesterday and we took her out to eat. I did okay. Tonight, we have her birthday party at "Going Bonkers." That just might make me go bonkers! Good thing we are taking two cars because I may have to make an early exit!

"Tenderitisfullbrush"

2012-10-05T11:06:00.000-05:00

I have a new ailment. I call it tenderitisfullbrush. The books, the nurses, the doctors and the breast cancer survivors all told me the same thing, that when the hair starts to go the head will be tender and maybe itchy. They were right. My head is tender and my brush is full.

I am now apparently in competition with my cat to see which one of us can shed the most. I am winning, by a wide margin! I brushed my hair several times after my shower yesterday and had to keep pulling the hair out of the brush. From this nice pile of my former hair, I fashioned a lovely toupee for my receding hairline husband. Sadly, he was not appreciative.

My hair is thick, so I still look like I have normal hair. I can tell that it is thinner, but I doubt anyone else can. But, it looks like I'm on my way to putting that Styrofoam head that has been hiding in my closet out on my dresser!

"All Awash in Pink"

2012-10-01T21:02:00.000-05:00

It's October. To my daughter, that means her birthday and trick-or treating. To just about everyone else who steps foot in a store, it means a sea of pink items from kitchen gadgets and notepads to clothing and office supplies!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month is here in full force. I've always noticed it and I like pink anyway (any time of year). But, I haven't felt the need to trade in my white kitchen measuring cups for pink ones to help me think about breast cancer.

There is, however, one pink product that I love! It is useful, it is beautiful and I know that it is made with love! It is my pink and chrome pen from Marksmanship Pens!

www.MarksmanshipPens.com

I know it is useful because I use it all the time! Obviously, it is beautiful! I know it is well-made because the master craftsman behind Marksmanship Pens is a perfectionist! I should know! He's my Dad! So, if you want something pink this month for a fighter or a survivor, this is my recommendation because it is close to my heart!