Thoughts of a Know it All

Great is His Mercy!!!

2012-11-09T18:45:00.004-08:00

This song has just been in my head all day so I had to share!! I look crazy, as usual!!! HAHA Be blessed.

Here is the actual song!!!

Prayer

2012-11-07T21:38:00.002-08:00

Sometimes that's all you have left. Never give up on prayer and the power of it. Sometimes it seems like things are at their end and there is no where to go. That feeling can be so overwhelming. Many have lost hope all together and ended their lives. Others have lost faith in God and turned their backs on him, unfortunately. Proverbs 20:30 speaks about how pain makes us more susceptible to God. Isn't that the truth??? When we are in a bind, who do we call? Jesus!! Something about that name, huh?

We have to realize that sometimes we put ourselves in situations and let ourselves down. We then expect God to fix it with a snap of a finger. It doesn't always work like that. We learn more and more about ourselves when we are in uncomfortable situations. Some people find out how much of a coward they are, while others find their true strength!! We have to start taking these moments in our lives and make them beneficial to us. Just like a performance evaluation, for example. When you are evaluated, you learn your strengths and weaknesses. Once you know them, you have something to work on or maintain. The idea here is to identify the strengths and weaknesses. Don't run from them, face them head on and figure how to fix them or maintain. Never, ever get complacent, in life! Life is so full of opportunity and changes! Position yourself to take a hold of these changes, embrace them, and continue to grow.

Adventure Junky

2012-10-29T19:40:00.001-07:00

I think it is weird but its me. I loooove excitement and uncertainty. It gets my blood pumping. It gets me so high I lose my breathing pattern! I wanna sky dive, be amongst the sharks, and anything else that will get me pumped!! Weird but I sort of like being in dangerous situations (as long as no one gets hurt). I love surprises!!!! Mainly because no one can surprise me!! LOL I look and watch EVERYTHING!

I'm also a scary person!! LOL You can't make me do something illegal, knowingly!! But doing something in hopes of not getting caught is such a thrill!!! I really have to start a bucket list and just start doing random things!! It's so many things to do in this world to get your goose!! LMAO

Racing
Going Commando (special occasion only)
Eavesdropping
Running amongst a crowd
Sky diving
Swimming with sharks
Role Playing in Public
Haunted Houses
Watching a SCARY movie alone, at night with the surround sound blaring
Going camping with only matches, water, and a fishing pole
Being amongst a bad storm, in the tub, hearing the sirens

I know, I know!! Weird!!!!

Lost

2012-10-28T23:44:00.000-07:00

Somewhere along the way I lost you. I use to be extremely outspoken, fun, and energetic. I think I gave you away in a packaged deal but it was not my intentions to. I need you back. I need me back. I've become engulfed by the opinions of many that dictates not one step in my life. I need me back. The friends I use to talk to are living their lives, of course but I've caused them to live it without me. I don't blame them, entirely. I want their friendship just as they want mine. Somewhere along the way I lost who I am. I was strong, alive, a beaming light. Now I just simmer in my corner. I've gone about things all wrong. I have to repair these broken bridges. I have to find myself back to me. Many dreams and ideas, wants and aspirations have been thrown by the way side. It's time for me to live out those dreams, make those ideas reality, and just break boundaries I've bricked and mortared. I'm reclaiming myself this day. I'm going to find you, hold you, and never let you go again. My power, my confidence, ME.

I Think I Hate You

2012-08-25T03:26:00.000-07:00

Yea, I know, hate is such a strong, powerful word but these feelings I have fits under no other category. I'm a little too emotional to V-blog about it so I'm just going to do this the old fashion way. This is a letter to someone who will probably never read this.

Dear Thief,

You have attempted to take something from me so valuable and rare. Your reasoning behind it makes no sense yet you still want something you know not the true value of. It broke my heart when I found out it was you who tried stealing the very thing I looked up too. That's my benchmark, that's my love, my connection to the past I hold dear to my heart. What is it to you? You lie if you say it means more to you than me. Look what you did when you had it? I would shed blood for it, giving it all I had, yet you only tried taking what didn't belong to you. You thief! I feel I would take your life for it but it's of no comparison.

Will I ever look at you the same? Never! Will I ever love you again? Probably not. I loved because you were loved. Now I must forgive because you have been forgiven. Only because God forgave me will I forgive you. I have repented and I hope you do the same.

Next time we cross paths, be grateful of the head nod I give and the silence that follows. Next time our eyes meet, thank God for Jesus, the only reason forgiveness comes from me.

I think I hate you,
Camelia

DIRECTV...Oh you mad???

2012-07-14T19:57:00.005-07:00

Reality Show (Love & Hip Hop, Single Ladies, Big Ang, Hollywood Exes)

2012-07-12T06:26:00.003-07:00

The Ocean Is Flowing Freely

2012-07-10T20:55:00.003-07:00

First V-Blog

2012-07-09T06:37:00.001-07:00

Valued?

2012-05-27T20:58:00.000-07:00

What do you value the most? Is it a person or thing? The bible says that a man holds his treasure close to his heart. What is close to your heart? If it is a person, does that person know it? Value rarely speaks for itself.

Value is known by research and time put into that specific thing. If you value your car, you'll wash it, perform maintenance on it, and do whatever else is required to make it the best in your eyes. If you value a person, you'll show them by time spent, gifts given, encouragement shown, and words spoken to their inner being. Many people will say things to you but you know when its of no true meaning. A person who values you go beyond the normal compliments and ministers to your soul. A normal person looks at the outer beauty but a person who values you look into your gateways and connect to your emotional being.

Are you valued?

Jailhouse Religion

2012-03-16T07:43:00.001-07:00

You know what I mean when I say jailhouse religion, right?!!!! I was watching First Week In on TLC (because I enjoy criminal justice reality TV for some strange reason) and I started noticing a trend. Individuals who get "caught up" in the justice system seems to always find their way to the Holy Bible. When they find themselves in a situation, they call on the name of Jesus. They beg and plead on their hands and knees for God to deliver them out of the "lion's den".

Well I talked to a friend this morning and when I got off the phone with her, I started praying and God convicted my heart. "Why do you pray to me only when in need? When you want me to provide for you, then you call, but what about the other days?" Well..... you should have saw the look on my face!!!! I'm so guilty!! And to make it worse, I talk down on people who do it to me!!! Don't call me when you only need money or want to borrow my car, because I'm not going to answer the phone!!!!! Conviction, CONviction, CONVICTION!!!!!! We have to do better, people....or is it just me?

God did say he would never leave us nor forsake us yet we do it to him; we do it so effortlessly! When we get into a bind, we instantly start quoting scriptures we didn't even know we knew!! LOL We start trying to convict God!!!! The audacity we have, right!!!?

Lets start incorporating God more into our lives. Not just a "Thank you God for waking me up this morning and starting me on my way", but lets start putting more feeling into thanking and respecting him. We need to spend some quality, alone time with him. Remember the song, "Quality time, with you"! I can't remember who sung that song! Either R. Kelly or Guy! Anyway, you get my point. Let's develop a friendship with God and not just a take, take take. I'm sure you'll find it more meaningful than you ever thought.

Been A While

2012-03-06T21:41:00.000-08:00

Hello all!! I know I started off pretty well, posting everyday or at least every other day!! Since then, I have started working and started grad school and now I am realizing how much free time I had back then and how much I miss it!!!!! AAAHHHH

This new job that I will be resigning from next week (LOL) is a Night Auditor position and man oh man, this girl was not created for the night shift!!! I was doing so well getting to work on time, at 11:00 pm but tonight I overslept!!! I received a call at 11:20pm wondering were I was!! Luckily I only stay 5 mins away!!

I guess God doesn't like ugly!! LOL I had a little 'tude ...(attitude) with my husband before falling asleep so I guess that came back to bite me in the butt!!! It's so funny how we can sleep through a phone alarm but wake up on that first call after you're late!! Unbelievable!!!!

Today just isn't the day for me!! I don't feel like reading 4 chapters for class or anything!! This difference in work schedule is getting to me! I'm used to the 08:00am-4:30pm working schedule!!! This gives me time to be away from the hubby, make money, but also spend quality, family time after work! That's hard to do when I have to be sleep by 2pm and up at 10pm and he's getting ready for bed at 10. And then to top that off, I get off at 7am tomorrow then turn around and have to be back by 3pm the same day!!! Let's just pray I don't oversleep this time!!!!!

Last day of work is weekend after next!!!! Whoohoo!! I enjoyed the experience and hopefully in the future I can venture into that B&B but for now, I think I'll stick to accounting!!!

No Life For Me

2012-02-22T18:43:00.000-08:00

I have taken a liking to the First 48, Prison Wives, and everything else involved in incarceration. I don’t know if it’s the fact that it makes me more appreciative in the state that I’m in or is it the interest in trying to find the root cause of other’s misfortune.

I was watching one episode of the First 48 and this young man was so remorseful for taking a life of an innocent guy. He was crying and just distraught. Of course I felt bad for him but the moment he changed into jail attire and the handcuffs were put on, he turned into an animal.

That episode reminded me of the movie Planet of the Apes. It made me so sick to my stomach that even though that’s a movie, it is real in our day in age. Don’t get me wrong; I believe everyone should pay for the crimes they commit. I just wish there was another way.

From my view on the outside looking in, prison is a whole other world. It’s a world of no freedom and a daily struggle for life. People are literally caged! I’m sure boarded dogs have better treatment!! I guess I’m just sensitive but I know the moment someone violated me, I would want him or her behind bars.

I've watched many inmates interview about raping other inmates as well as being raped. Of course some of it is for pleasure but a lot of it is to instill fear and show dominance. That just hurts me! For men, the being that we view as all powerful, to be broken down due to rape is so sad.

I just want to see something positive come from incarceration and prison. Prisons were initially established to give criminals time to reflect upon their actions but I personally don’t think that’s enough. I’m sure they have programs in prison now that helps promote a better way of life but I also think proper support system is needed. I think good prison ministries and great communication with family can help but still more is needed. We have to start preaching forgiveness no matter how hard it is.

Even when people are released back into society, we act as if we don’t want them here. On EVERY job application it request criminal background information. 9 times out of 10 no one wants to hire a felon no matter what they have done! It’s such a catch 22! I have heard of farms that hire individuals with criminal backgrounds and I think that's awesome. I'm sure there are more business avenues out there that can be taken that helps a business as well as the individual settle back into society. The streets will always be there unfortunately, but if we can show that we care more and want more for them, hopefully that will be more appealing.

Power of Listening

2012-02-17T10:39:00.000-08:00

Listening is an amazing tool for life. Many people confuse great communication skills with just talking. It’s great when we can be open enough to voice opinions, concerns, and experiences but that’s not enough! Being a great communicator involves listening. Not selective listening but true listening!

How we approach conversations is the starting point. Some people approach conversations as just being a person for someone to vent to while others approach conversations as being a problem solver or a mentor. Both are great but both have their downsides.

Knowing the person who needs you can dictate the approach you take. If you know your best friend is upset over a decision they made, helping them figure out future choices can be extremely helpful. Be sure not to boast too long on things you have done or mistakes you have made because that takes the "light" off of them. We can get so caught up in what we did and so on that we fall into our own world.

Some people just need a body to sit and vent, curse, scream, and just let go. I'm coming to find out that people vent the most in relationships!! LOL I love that I have a close friend who I can call and just let everything go!!!! She doesn't tell me it's my fault or I deserve things to go a certain way in a negative form. Granted, I'm not saying we don't need someone to be there for us and tell us when we're wrong, cause we do!! I'm extremely stubborn so at times, I do need my friends or spouse to be real and tell it to me straight. But for the other times, just sitting there and listening to that person, consoling them if need be, is just what the doctor ordered.

Try to be a good listener to someone in need. Being a good listener can produce great friendships. Just be genuine about things. Don't do it just to be nosy!! LOL Alot of people have that really bad too!!! People become fake friends just to get into your business. Of course, everyone loves some juicy news every once in a while but real friends are genuine and show true concern.

My Pride and Joy

2012-02-04T07:57:00.000-08:00

Recently I've started finding & following great bloggers. Almost 95% of the bloggers have beautiful children!! OMG it almost makes me want to have a baby!!! Then I wake up and tell myself, not yet!! LOL

Danielle after a great groom 2009

Well after my deployment in 2008, my mother blessed me with the greatest gift! Her name is Danielle! LOL Yes, she's a dog but I call her my daughter! The philosophy behind Danielle was simple. My mother knew life on this earth wasn't long for her because of cancer so she wanted to give me something that would love me and keep me company when my mother no longer could.


Danielle & Mom

Danielle was born October 3, 2008 to two loving parents; the mother a Shih Tzu and the father's breed is unknown. Danielle was given to me on December 20th, 2008 and I fell in love at first sight!!!

It's like she has a personality of her own! It's weird but I can look into her eyes and get a sense of how she's feeling. I just love her!! She's super smart too! My friends make fun of me because I talk to her like she's a human!

Yesterday I decided it was past due for Danielle to have a bath! In a perfect world, I would wash her once a week but after I was her, let her run around the apartment to dry off, fight her to finish drying her off, force her to let me brush her, I'm worn out!!! Well last night it occurred to me that I should record her doing one of her tantrums after a bath!!! Here's to a good laugh!!!

Rewind Button

2012-02-02T09:18:00.000-08:00

"That was easy"

Do ya'll remember the Easy Button button by Staples? Don't you wish it actually worked in real life? I think we have all made mistakes in the past or even currently and we wish there was a Rewind button. It doesn't even have to be a mistake but it's something we could have possibly done differently or better. It sucks how it is so easy to think of the best possible solutions AFTER the fact!

All that being said, we are human so it's OK to make mistakes! I have a horrible habit of beating myself up over decisions I make or have made. I can sit for hours and just think of how I could have done this or that. Why did I think this way and what persuaded me to do that? I remember having a phone interview for an important job I wanted SOOOO BAD and I got stuck on a question that I should have been able to answer with no problem! I knew when I hung up the phone that I had messed up on the opportunity of a lifetime! Ughh coulda , shoulda , woulda !!

Now look at the realistic side of things. We can't change the past, no matter how long we sit and meditate, hoping, and praying. LOL Granted some of the decisions we make are wrong, we learn tremendously from them. I think the biggest thing we can take from our decisions are learning more about ourselves. I remember reading a quote that said something to the effect that you learn who you really are when you are put into controversial situations. It is so true!!!

Learning who we really are is one way of minimizing regret. When you truly know what you want out of live and how far you are willing to go, to me, a person should be proud of that. Alot of people focus more on the outcome instead of what is actually happening in the present. When you're proud of who you are and what you are doing, no matter the outcome you still have a sense of accomplishment. I guess it's the "Looking at the glass half full" effect. My grandmother once told me that when you do something put your all into it, do it like you're doing it unto God, and at the end of the day if the outcome isn't what you wanted, you should be proud that you did the best you could!

Tools to learning yourself:

Journals-I think journals are awesome because it's a window showing how and what was going on in your life at a specific time.
Friends-Regardless of what some people say, the saying, "Birds of a feather flock together", is somewhat true. I'll say about 95% true! Look at your close friends. Do you approve of the majority of their actions?
Church- A good church has a way of convicting your heart in such a way that makes you reevaluate yourself. I'm not referring to a pastor who pin points you out and criticizes you! I'm talking about a church that uses the love of God! Love compels people to Christ.
Self-Assessments- I have been shocked by the results of self-assessments! LOL Self-assessments help you realize the strengths and weaknesses you have and how you can improve or maintain. Click on "Self-Assessments" to take a quick, free assessment.

Keep Pushing

2012-01-27T08:06:00.000-08:00

I'm in the process of picking up where I left off, education wise. Every since high school in Mrs. Lamkin class, I have always wanted to be an accountant. I loved the bookkeeping aspect of things and solving money issues. Maybe MONEY was the key word! LOL Anywho, my first semester of college, I declared my major. I wanted to get the ball rolling! I didn't want to take any unnecessary classes like psychology or any other non-business related courses.

Fast forward five years, I graduated with an Accounting Degree! That was one of the best feelings in the world! I was not the traditional student who wanted to stay in the library studying; studying bored me beyond belief!! I wanted to watch TV or look through Blackplanet.com!! HAHA ya'll remember Blackplanet.com? I am extremely grateful for God putting a smart young lady in my life that kept me on track enough to obtain that degree!

~~Ready to put what I had learned to use~~, I immediately started working! Well, scratch that first statement! LOL Tired of school and ready for some real money should go there! I began working and slowly my dreams of getting the requirements for the Certified Public Accountant (CPA) exam pushed further away. I needed 150 credit hours but in order to get those credit hours, I probably should have just stayed in school another semester and completed it in one take! But NOOOOO I was ready to live the life!!!

Six years later, I still have that same goal, to get my CPA!! Time can fly by if we don't grasp it and handle business when we suppose to. A good friend of mine motivated me to not give up on my dreams no matter how old or how many years ago our dreams first manifested. If its something you really want to do, it will stay heavy on your heart until you complete it. I experienced that heavy feeling not only with education but with joining an organization as well.

With some good pushing and constant motivation, I swallowed my shyness (yup, I said it) and did what I needed to do to try and become a member of the organization I longed to be apart of so long! Once I was accepted, I realized that the only person keeping me from doing what I need to do is ME!! SELF!!!

Self told me to give it up, that was in the past.
Self told me that I wasn't smart enough.
Self told me that I had nothing to offer.

Now that I have Self in check, I am onward to better things! I'm in the process of getting my masters!! Whoohoo!! I'm so excited about it too! Initially I was against getting my masters because of the cost!! Man, it is not cheap at all!! But I have a slew of friends who have accomplished getting their masters and it's just good encouragement for me to step it up and challenge myself! I feel I'm in great position to take advantage of this opportunity!

I know if I can swallow my fears and face the unknowns, you can too! You just have to get out there and do it. Take the initial step and see how things aren't as hard or complicated as you may have imagined!

Knowing Your Worth

2012-01-26T06:11:00.000-08:00

Some people look for others to sustain them. What I mean by sustain is looking for praise from others. It is good at times for your good deeds and hard work to be noticed but if your happiness and fulfillment depends solely on the opinion of another, you should probably reevaluate yourself.

We give so many people power over us on so many different levels. We sometimes allow people to speak things into our lives that we should not. Please know the difference between positive criticism and hateful insults. For example if someone says you' re a procrastinator, look at how you handle time management. On the other hand, if someone says you're useless and you pretty much aren't good at anything, you should reevaluate your friendship. Don't allow someone to speak ill against your character. Unfortunately the people we hold in the highest regard are normally the ones who speak against us the most. It's cliché to see bad parenting where the mother or father tells the child that they're nothing and they'll never be nothing. This isn't the only place negative exhortation takes place. It happens amongst friends, spouses, and coworkers.

“Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.” – Plato

Friends can sometimes have great intentions but horrible execution!! People are motivated on different levels and in different ways so whatever pushes you to that next goal may not be the same thing that urges someone else for betterment. The point of being a friend is learning one another. Learn what encourages him or her and also learn what hinders him or her. Know your friends’ strengths and weaknesses.

People also should understand that their dream is not yours. Many wish to own their own business; others wish to make a certain amount of money each year; while others are just content where they are. Just because someone is happy making $9.00 an hour, coming home to enjoy a beer, and watching football doesn’t make him or her a bad person. Sure, they may not have the same drive as you to do something above and beyond yet that person is still a good friend, a loyal partner, and someone who is accepting.

A lot of what I’m saying falls in line with knowing yourself. Below is a mini list tips to assess yourself pertaining to friendships.

Here are tips for assessing yourself:

1. Grab a piece of paper and jot down all of your accomplishments. It doesn’t matter how big or small.

2. Remember the feeling during those accomplishments. Remember how hard you pushed yourself! Don’t let anyone take that feeling away. Use those same emotions towards a new goal you want to accomplish.

3. Now, review your list of friends.

4. Write down which friends motivate you to do better and which friends bring you down.

5. For the friends who you feel lower your self-confidence, are their claims justifiable?

6. If you answered yes, what do you feel you can do to make things better?

7. If you answered no, what does that friend bring to the table that keeps you from parting ways?

8. If you have no need to continue being friends, find ways to separate yourself from them. Sometimes simply talking to the friend and bearing your true feelings can correct the situation. If not, slowly stop interacting with them.

9. Find new, healthier friends to be around.

10. Having problems finding new friends who may share the same interest as you? Here are a few vehicles you can use:

§ www.meetup.com - It’s a great site with different groups that come together with specific interests in mind.

§ www.facebook.com - Facebook has a lot of pages where local businesses and groups advertise up coming events and outings.

§ Google your interests. You’ll be amazed at the different types of competitions and conferences that are out there.

§ The local newspaper normally has a section where it lists different events for the week.

§ Television

§ Radio

Get to know and love yourself; that’s the only way you’ll find true happiness.

Shining Light

2012-01-19T09:52:00.000-08:00

As I spoke about in my last post, unemployment is a pill I've been swallowing for the last few months. In my quest to finding employment, many ideas arose on how to make money. One bright idea I came across was working from home. How hard could it be, right? Shoot, let some of the commercials tell it, it's super easy and almost impossible not to make money!! Well put me on a train and lets go!!!

My mother always brought me with her when someone had a new opportunity for her to make money!! 10 out of 10 times they were pyramid schemes. I get you plus two other people to jump into the business and then you get three people and then they get people and waaalaaa, "We're Rich -----"! Well, hold up, hold up, hold up...... LOL.... If only it was that easy! It's so much more to it. First they ask you to pay them anywhere from $100-$400 to get your business up and running. Then you have to pay about $30 a month to keep your website up. Alot of these businesses also request your persuasive skills to encourage customers to purchase their products over the products customers are comfortable with. Granted not all "start your own business" schemes are like this, just the ones I've come across. To me you're not a business owner but merely a sales representative! I don't know, just my opinion. Some of these businesses actually work quite well for people. I have a couple of friends who are involved in this line of work and stand by it wholeheartedly. It just isn't for me, Bruh!

Anyway, like I was saying, I come across alot of "income from home" type things. If they sound interesting, I always research it by googling the name and then including "scam" right afterwards and see what comes up. I think I was researching New Online Incomes by Diana Thompson and there were alot of negative reviews. People were believing that it was a legitimate business because it was being featured by well known television broadcasting agencies and also by major radio stations. Unsatisfied customers wanted to know who to complain to. Well of course the first place you think of is the Better Business Bureau (BBB), right? Well 20/20 did an investigation on the rating scheme of the BBB and their findings will shock you! Watch the video!

Crazy, huh? LOL I was like, "Wooooww". Everybody is starting to be in it for the money! Well, after the investigation, BBB did apologize and stated that they were reevaluating the rating scheme.

People put alot of trust into those three blue letters. I hope this shines a light on the fact that just because the business is a member of the BBB and even has grade A performance doesn't mean that much anymore.

Selling Dreams

2012-01-18T10:25:00.000-08:00

I know I'm not the only one tired of seeing the Everest College commercials and all the other educational commercials that boast of darn near instant employment after you graduate. I think that is a a crock of crap! Don't get me wrong, I think it is awesome for anyone to advance their career through education. Education is very powerful and is a vehicle for a successful future. BUT painting a picture that you'll have jobs knocking on your door as soon as you get a diploma is a SCAM!!

Another thing they don't tell you in those commercials is that the majority of that financial aid that you get "awarded" is something you'll have to "award" back to them in time. I was blessed to have the military pay for my education but for other students, financial aid was their only option. You could always tell when those refund checks were cashed because you would see a fellow student with the newest thing like shoes, a laptop, or even a car. I'll never forget hearing a used car lot asking students to spend their refund checks at their car lot. WTW?? For some, once they got that refund check, you didn't see them for the rest of the semester!! I wonder if someone told them that they have to pay this money back!! I was relieved once they stopped major credit card businesses from setting up shop in college student centers and coercing students into debt!

Careers that I think are over-saturated are medical assistants, rappers ( I had to throw that one in there), urban clothing stores, music producers and a bunch of others I'm sure you can chime in on. I'm not trying to kill dreams!!! That's not my intention but we have to start researching careers especially in locations you plan to reside. Don't become a Dental assistance if you know you never plan to move away from that little town that has one dentist office!! C'mon, Son!!

This post stems from my everyday quest I'm having! I have been unemployed for 3 months now and it is becoming more and more difficult to find employment. I have acquired new skills just searching for jobs. Shoot, searching for jobs have become a job in itself! I get up at 8am, take a lunch break at 11am, and start searching again at 1pm!! They say in everything, there is a lesson to be learned. Well I've definitely learned one thing, humility! Having a degree and job experience doesn't guarantee anything! I was reading a forum a military spouse website and a person stated that they had three degrees and still couldn't find a job! Crazy, huh?

And now that they are cutting the military capacity, the unemployment rate is going to skyrocket and it's going to make it that much harder to find a job. The competition for jobs are already high! I applied for a Tax accountant position and found out that I was among 189 other candidates!! Are you serious??

All I can say is be smart in choosing your future! It's real out here!

Roles Reversed

2012-01-17T21:02:00.000-08:00

Through the years, people have done some shady things to get what they want: framing co-workers, starting rumors, and using someone's trust against them. Yes, all of these are horrible but things have taken a new turn!!

Maybe you've heard some girl say that her boyfriend or even boo thang just got drafted or just signed a record deal and 3 months later you find out she's pregnant by him. What are your first thoughts? "Man, she's set for life now or at least for 18 years." LOL be honest!!! " You don't have to lie, Craig!! " HAHA

Well, fast forward about 10 years and the tables have turned. Nowadays, women are becoming far more independent that ever before. In today's society it's not unusual for a woman to have a degree or a master's with a nice home and car. Women have raised the bar for a lot of men. I remember how guys would stand at the bar trying to flash their car keys to show a female what kind of car he drove. Now women are flashing those keys back, laughing! ( I wonder if guys really knew how lame they looked doing that?)

I don't know if some guys are starting to miss the advantage they use to have on the dating field or not but they are starting to make shady decisions. Men use to be able to have options on which female they would talk to if ole girl wasn't acting right. Not so much anymore! Women are taking over!!!! In hind sight of that, men are calling on desperate measures!!

I thought I would never see the day when a man would try with all his might to impregnate a woman in order to never lose her. Who does that??? This is becoming a solution for the indecisive male, the one who isn't ready to settle down but doesn't want to lose the good girl he has. That's a really expensive solution but today's male is willing to take that option.

I decided to do a little research and found that female condom sales have increased dramatically!! Sales have more than doubled from 2006 ($10.6 mil) to 2009 ($26 mil). This just further lets me know that the tides are turning and women have to start watching their backs!

Be careful ladies!! It's your reproductive organs, use it when you want to!!!!

Mother

2012-01-16T15:10:00.000-08:00

Today is my mother's birthday. She would have been 51 years old. Growing up, I've always planned in my head different parties and events I would love to throw for people I care dear for. One event planned out was my mother's 50th birthday party. What a joy to live to be able to see such an age, right? Unfortunately, my mother passed away September 6, 2009 from cancer.

Cancer. Just the very word makes my mouth dry and my heart filled with anger. Cancer has turned into the new AIDS. I still remember growing up and just hearing the word, brought fear to our minds. AIDS were killing people left and right! It was like a war and the only answer was defeat! To me AIDS have been replaced with the word Cancer. EVERY family in America is being affected by this disaster, this epidemic.

I still remember the day my mother had a fever of 104 and we were about to rush her to the emergency room. The nurse decided to call the doctor first to see if there was anything we could do before taking her to the ER. The doctor, thinking only as a doctor, not as a human, said that my mother was dying and there was nothing we could do. "She's in the last stages now, it won't be long." Now, imagine someone telling you that about your 48 year old mother, with no remorse, no emotion, no nothing. I was so mad but guess what, there's nothing I could do but look at her fragile body and feel guilty for being helpless.

Ok! Whhooo-sigggghhhhh I'm going to ease up on this topic because I always end up mad and upset!! But, I will say Happy Birthday to the Late Sharon McIntyre. I will love you forever and always.

This picture was taken 2 months before she passed away. I was so mad at her because I had just came from Memphis in May at 6:00am and she called me at 8:00am telling me to come to Camden, 2 hours away to take family pictures. I was grouchy the whole time but I'm so happy I did!

Before she was diagnosed.

First One

2012-01-16T14:26:00.000-08:00

Alright, Alright, Alrigghhhtt!!! So, this is my first blog and I'm very excited about it. I just want to use this as a tool to vent and speak my mind about everyday decisions. My life has changed in the past few months and this will be one way for me to "adjust". Oh how I love that word, adjust!! You'll hear more about that later! HA!

Wow, excited as much as I was to start this blog, now I have nothing to say! Go figure! Anywho, much more exciting things to come! See how I change in just 2 seconds, my over interesting life is the same! You'll see!