Reflections on a Modern Circus

On Hiatus Indefinitely

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 00:16:00 +0000

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On Hiatus Indefinitely

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In the meatime, please read the articles in the archive.

Thank you.

If a tree falls in the forest...

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 01:40:00 +0000

*sigh*

...does anybody hear?

Since Christmas, everything changed in my blogging world. Traffic diminished considerably, which is normal and ok. However, when traffic came back partially...it was quite crappy...very crappy.

First of all, 35 % of the post-Holidays traffic is generated by a Pub Sub, or if you prefer, an Internet robot. It sends me traffic I never asked for...and the traffic that comes to my blog never asked to be on my blog. In other words, it's a very bad match. From my stats, I can see that the people coming to my blog, from the Pub Sub, don't read it.

There's another 40 % that is basically the Bloggers community. If you prefer, they are bloggers themselves. They come on my blog, they tell me I have a "great blog", and then comes my favorite line: "I love your blog...please visit my blog and vote for it and subscribe and...". Some of them go even further: "Go on my Facebook page and my Web site and click on this and that and the other thing".

So basically, at least 75 % of my blog visitors don't read it. At the very least...either a junk-referral or bloggers that only try to generate traffic for their own blog.

I've found that the rest of the 25 % doesn't read it much either.

I don't want to be part of this. This is not about reading. This is not about sharing opinions...this is about HITS...how many hits today? This week? More hits than you? Whether it's for the ego or for money (see: Adsense)...I'm not here for the money, neither for the ego. What a crock of shit.

I'm too much of an idealist? Maybe. But for the price I'm paid to write this blog (Re: $0.00), I can afford to be a little idealistic, with principals and integrity.

I wanted to stir things up. Give a new point of view. Generate opposite opinions to mine (which in turn would generate great debates). But in the end, the blogging world is largely like real life: about money and ego...with a whole lot of talkers...but very little listeners...

Since I don't want to be the tree that falls (and ending up writing letters to myself that people will hold in their hands but not read them)...I have come to to the conclusion that it's a good time to put this blog on an official hiatus until I figure out all of the angles.

If you have an opinion about this, please feel free to drop me a line: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

The Sequel - News headlines from the year 2012 - PART II

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 22:38:00 +0000

Back by popular demand: the second part of the News headlines from the year 2012!

Again, let's activate the magic and powerful crystal ball, and see what the near future holds for us (see the video)

And on we go with PART II of the predictions...July to December, 2012.

July

- July 1, Euro 2012 (soccer), Greece makes it to the final but they had to withdraw from the game because the country is so broke, they couldn't afford to provide the players with soccer shoes and uniforms.

- July 6, NBA basketball player Greg Oden (Portland Trail Blazers and former Ohio State University) wins the award for the oldest looking 24 year old man in the world. "On the bright side, I might be able to get an Applebees restaurants Senior Discount Card". His body must be as old as he looks: he hasn't been able to play a complete season yet.

Greg Oden

- July 28, London 2012 Olympic games: Dang Yun, an alleged Chinese female gymnast, is not human. Olympic Officials conducted the appropriate tests and found out that Dang Yun was a cat. "Meow!!" responded Dang Yun to her disqualification. (Just for the record, "meow" is not a Chinese word but kitty cat language).

August

- August 16, Stunner: Google buys Greece at a very low price. Spokesman for Google said: "We wanted to rename the country Google but we had some static from the European Union. Then we settled for writing Greece with the Google fonts". Google Greek headquarters will be located right in the Parthenon. The lobby shall be decorated with a giant harp, a spiral tube slide and robots from the 50's and 60's. The hallways will be full of unicycles (knowing how to ride unicycles is a prerequisite to work there), Pacman and Asteroids arcades.

- August 24, Cirque du Soleil launches a new show in Las Vegas called "Lindsay!". It's a musical and theatrical production. The storyline is the biography of Lindsay Lohan, but played by clowns. The lead character, Low Ann (a.k.a. Lindsay Lohan), is a clumsy clown that tries to survive in Hollywood but has a tendency mess everything up. The stage is a specially built circus ring at the Circus Circus Casino. Clowns of the show perform stunts like DUI's, car accidents, road rages, trying to sing without talent and escaping from rehab centers. Mickey the Goofball clown (a.k.a. Michael Lohan, Lindsay's father) steals the show.

- August 26, Women's Equality Day, George Carlin came back from the dead and makes an HBO Special including this (see the video...mostly for the bit starting 8:15):

September

- September 1, Microsoft buys Italy at a very low price. Italy was having major financial difficulties. Bill Gates declared: "Google has it's own country. We wanted ours." Rumours are that the country will be renamed to Finestre (Windows in Italian).

- September 3, Labour Day, children of the United States continue to go to school after US Congress officially cancelled Summer and blamed Barack Obama for the decision (see my article News headlines from the year 2012 - PART I, posted last January 7, 2012). "If there are any survivors to the end of the world, we are planning on cancelling Christmas. And if Barack Obama is re-elected, we'll blame him for the decision too" confirmed an anonymous US Congressman that started too laugh out loud, just like Vincent Price used to do (see the video).

- September 9, my beloved New England Patriots win their first game of the season...smells like a Super Bowl year!!!!

- September 15, NCAA Football - BCS Championship: the National Championship game will be exclusively for SEC teams. President of the BCS, Jim Norton, announced that the BCS Bowl will always have two opponents from the SEC conference. "There is no point in letting teams from the other 10 conferences and waste everybody's time. And, coincidentally, that will solve the playoffs non-sense controversy" said Norton. From 2006 to this day, the National Championship game was exclusively won by SEC schools: Florida (2006), Louisiana State University (2007), Florida (2008), Alabama (2009), Auburn (2010) and Alabama (2011).

October

- October 11, Apple, Inc. refuses to follow Google and Microsoft. "We won't buy a country. We will build our own country. It shall be called iLand", said CEO Tim Cook. However, it won't be possible to visualize iLand with Flash Player.

- October 31, Halloween night, Bill O'Reilly, host of The O'Reilly Factor, on Fox News channel, tried to disguise himself as Mickey Mouse, scared some children, forced them to take his book The O'Reilly Factor for Kids: A Survival Guide for America's Families (a real book...Google it!) instead of candy, scared them some more, screamed at them and called them socialists, communists and liberal pinheads. "Get me out of this straight jacket" O'Reilly scream as he was escorted by policemen to an undisclosed mental health facility.

Bill O'Reilly Mouse

November

- November 6, The United States presidential election of 2012: the results were so close between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama that the recount of the votes may last until the end of times...which conveniently is next month.

- November 12, Bravo! channel announces that a new innovative reality show will air next season. The show will be called Roommates: Ex-wives and mistresses. Each ex-wife of the show will have to cohabit for a year with the mistress(es) of her husband. Sharp objects, baseball bats, gasoline and other possible weapons will be available to all the participants. Spoiler alert: one wife and a mistress become a lesbian couple.

December

- December 14, Glenn Beck declares: "I'm not worried about the end of the world. I've been preparing for this all my life. After the apocalypse, my ratings should remain just about the same. And am I glad I invested in gold, Goldline International and foodinsurance.com." (see the video)

- December 20, National Ski Areas Association (NSAA) is furious: the end of the world, scheduled to occur on the first day of winter, will be disastrous for the ski industry. "The government has to compensate us." Others, like Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, Santa's Little Workshop and major alcoholic beverages companies have already requested government financial aid.

- December 21, D-DAY, the day the world ends...(see video)

- December 22, Walmart announces its first annual Post-End of The World Sale. Always the low price. Always. Almost a month after Black Friday, that new special shopping day shall be called Doomsday. The rules: there are only a few items for sale and people have to fight to grab them.

- December 31, Time Square, New Year's Eve: lowest attendance ever.

THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The Clue. The starring number of the following video (from 0:21):

Happy and Dandy Clowns of the Week: A Pennsylvania couple. Last week, they claimed, at Maryland Lottery Headquarters, their $128.8 million dollars Powerball prize. They chose to remain anonymous (good for them!!!). It was the second-largest jackpot ever won in Maryland (USA). The record for the largest jackpot prize in that state is $183 million dollars, won in 2003.

Sad Clown of the Week: Netherlands. The country's largest wooden clog, which is 4m in length and weighing almost 2 tons, disappeared without a trace (or should I say, leaving no foot steps!!!). The alleged theft of the clog is being investigated by the Dutch police...which confirms that Netherlands is a very calm and secure country, if the police force worries about the disappearance of a wooden clog. By the way, they should investigate Shaquille O'Neal (an ex-basketball player that wears size 23 (US) shoes).

The missing clog

Clever song lyrics: "Honesty is such a lonely word." - Song: Honesty - Artist: Billy Joel

Cheesy song lyrics: "Bitch niggaz (bitch niggaz)...Bitch niggaz (bitch niggaz)...Bitch-ass niggaz (beotch)..." Song: Bitch Ass Niggaz - Artist: Dr Dre (feat. Snoop Dogg, Hitman & Six-Two) (I can appreciate the fact that Dr Dre went out of his way to make a sharp difference between Bitch, Bitch-ass and beotch. As a true artist, Dr Dre didn't want us to confuse any of the three words. And now, the world is a better place).

Philosophical Quote of the week: "We lived on farms, then we lived in cities, and now we're going to live on the Internet!" Character: Sean Parker (played by Justin Timberlake) - Movie: The Social Network

God has a sense of humour...: Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos won their Wild Card round game against the Pittsburgh Steelers.

But God has a plan: My beloved New England Patriots will eliminate Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos tonight (Saturday night, January 14, 2012)...just kidding...He has nothing to do with the result of a football game.

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

News headlines from the year 2012 - PART I

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 00:47:00 +0000

Once again I will try to predict some of the news headlines in advance. This time, you will find out a little quicker if I'm right or wrong about them (as opposed to my article News headlines from the year 2061, posted last October 12, 2011).

People, I shall be right, since my crystal ball is very powerful...(see the video)

However, if by any chance I'm wrong, then you will feel right at home...as if you were watching the news on TV. As we all know, nowadays, it's more important to be the first one to report the news than to be accurate.

That said, on we go with PART I of the predictions...January to June, 2012

January

- January 8, Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela, finally marries long time lover, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of Iran (see them holding hands at 0:20 of the video)

- January 15, Chad Johnson (American football player - N.E. Patriots), who previously changed his name to Chad Ochocinco ((translation: eight five), changes his name again, this time to Chad Viejo y Lento (translation: old and slow).

- January 23, E! channel, in association with the Kardashians, launch a new reality show: "Welcome to Dumpsville, population: Kris Humphries".

- January 24, Kim Kardashian, replaces Kris Humpries with her new ex-boyfriend in the reality show "Welcome to Dumpsville".

February

- February 5, Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos win the Super Bowl...JUST KIDDING!!!...The Green Bay Packers will beat my beloved New England Patriots.

- February 12, new "Supreme" Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un declares "I am not fat, pudgy or chunky. As a matter of fact, I'm slender and sexy". The same day, the people of North Korea unanimously wore a "Slim and sexy Kim" t-shirt. However, a man was executed for wearing a t-shirt with the face Kim Jong-un on a body of Miss Piggy, while chanting "Hefty, chubby, tubby, baby, thicky, pudgy, chunky, baby" to the melody of the North Korean National Anthem. The man was known for his suicidal tendencies...

- February 19, I'm still in shock and denial that my beloved New England Patriots lost again the Super Bowl, as they did back in February, 2008, against New "Yuck" Midgets (a.k.a. Giants).

- February 20, Blackberry offers its customers a 50% reduction of their last monthly invoice for all the technical problems they suffered over the course of the last year. Nonetheless, 100% of the customers didn't get the offer because their Blackberry phone was malfunctioning.

March

- March 7, Barack Obama snaps and declares "It is time that I fight my enemies. I announce that I will fight my first enemy, Newt Gingrich, on November 5, 2012, as part of a UFC event. Newt, I'm tired of your bullshit. I will get medieval on your ass. Bring your ass to D.C. on November the 5th and we'll settle this no-holds-barred style." Here's the rest of the fight card:

Keith Olbermann vs. Bill O'Reilly
Jon Stewart vs. "Bow tie" Tucker Carlson
Hillary Clinton vs. Sarah "we've got to stand with our North Korean allies" Palin
Jennifer Ansiton vs. Angelina Jolie (finally!!!)
Donald "birds live in my hair" Trump vs. Rosie O'Donnell

- March 26, George Clooney, single again, sadly says "I have no choice but to resort to opening an account on eHarmony.com. I need to fill the void left by the death of Max, my pet pig. More than ever, I need a Miss Piggy."

April

- April 1, April Fool's day, Bill O'Reilly, host of The O'Reilly Factor, on Fox News channel, makes the biggest prank in media history by reporting news based on actual facts (as opposed to propaganda or fear) on his show. An anonymous fan of the show said "I found the show so boring, I switched to CNN. Bill really got me. I'm glad it was only a practical joke."

- April 5, Paris Hilton announces two new products her collection: The Offical Gold Plated PH Back Stratcher and The Official PH Tampon, with Gold Plated and Diamond Encrusted Applicator.

- April 12, I feel anger because my beloved New England Patriots lost again the Super Bowl and I violently tackle a 75 years old woman that wears New "Yuck" Midgets (a.k.a. Giants) baseball cap and a Green Bay Packers t-shirt.

- April 13, I try to bargain my way out of jail with NYPD policemen.

May

- May 5, to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, Arizona police catapults illegal aliens from Mexico...back to Mexico. Arizona Governor Jan Brewer wished them Buen viaje as the illegal aliens were catapulted, with their furniture and personal belongings, over the Mexican-American border. "We just wanted to provide Mexicans with the opportunity to celebrate Cinco de Mayo in their country of origin, transportation free of charge. It's our way of saying we care", said Brewer.

- May 12, CNN's Anderson Cooper's shocking revelation: "I die my hair white. Otherwise, I would look like a schoolboy and have know credibility."

- May 27, Glenn Beck, 9 months after "leaving" Fox News, on his transition from television shows to subscription-based Internet TV network: "When it comes to ratings, I'd rather go for quality than quantity. Yes, I lost 90% of my audience, but I kept the cream of the crop. And I don't have to wear a suit anymore. A straight jacket will do." (flashback of Beck leaving Fox News...see the video)

June

- June 12, president of Family Radio, Harold Camping, the man who predicted the end of the world for May 21, 2011, declares "I know I was wrong for the May 21, 2011, end of the world. But you have to believe me this time. On December 21, 2012, the world will end. Approximately 3% of the world's population will be called to Heaven. The "Chosen Ones" shall be: any man named JIMMY, any woman named FLORETTE or PETRA, all Denver Broncos fans (including Tim Tebow), all people born on February 29, Brad Pitt (but not Angelina Jolie), people with twelve tows an/or twelve fingers, people that had tattoos made before 1991, Richard Simmons, Dalai Lama, Snookie, the dog in the Taco Bell commercials and me".

- June 13, Chad Johnson (a.k.a. Chad Ochocinco, a.k.a. Chad Viejo y Lento) (American football player N.E. Patriots), changes again his name, this time to JIMMY FLORETTE PETRA Viejo y Lento.

- June 21, US Congress officially cancels Summer and blames Barack Obama for the decision. Children will have to go to school until Labour Day and artificial snow will be spread all across the United States.

- June 27, I finally accept the fate of my beloved New England Patriots...as I watch that funny and cute squirrel water skiing. (see the video)

THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The Clue. Today's date.

Happy and Dandy Clown of the Week: Elin Nordegren. The former wife of Tiger Woods has demolished the $12.3 million oceanfront mansion she purchased just last year. She's spending Tiger divorce money...good for her!!! I guess it's the Swedish way to say to Tiger "You messed with the wrong bitch!"

Sad Clown of the Week: A North Carolina (million dollar) man. A Walmart refused the money he handed out to pay for a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other stuff. Why the money was refused? The man was trying to pay with a 1 million dollar bill (the $100 bill is the highest bill printed in the USA). He even insisted that the bill was real!!! A Walmart refusing "well earned" money? What's this world coming to?

Clever song lyrics: "Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see." - Song: Strawberry Fields Forever - Artist: The Beatles.

Cheesy song lyrics: "And I wear my sunglasses at night. So I can, so I can. Forget my name while you collect your claim." Song: Sunglasses At Night - Artist: Corey Hart (Ok...Mr Hart, your transportation (an ambulance for the psychiatric hospital) is on its way).

Philosophical Quote of the week #1: "I'm Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and the last word out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir". Do you maggots understand that?" Character: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (played by R. Lee Ermey) - Movie: Full Metal Jacket

Philosophical Quote of the week #2: Women are made to be loved, not understood - Oscar Wilde

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

Hypocrisy: the new glitter - A story about a stairway to hell

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 22:08:00 +0000

I'm as spiritual as they come. I try to live my life in a spiritual way, even if I'm not attached to any religion whatsoever (although I was baptised as a Catholic). That said, I respect people's faith. But I can't tolerate violence, abuse, hypocrisy or stupidity. Maybe I should be a little more tolerant. But I'm not. It leaves a very long way to go before perfection...a very very long way indeed.

Keeping that in mind, Pope Benedict XVI, during his Christmas Eve Mass, asked people to "see through the superficial glitter" of the season, and concentrate instead on the joy of the Christmas message.

When he mentioned glitter, did he mean this kind of glitter? (see the video):

Or how about the glitter of that conference room? (see the picture):

Or maybe he's referring to that kind of glitter (see the following pictures):

I didn't know gold was the true channel to God. To be frank, I thought that it was the total opposite. If you compare the Vatican with the way people portray Jesus according to the Bible, let's just say that the amount of "glitter" was quite different for both of them. I'd like to ask the Pope "Why so much gold and glitter? Aren't you afraid to get caught in all of this?. What about the wealth distribution? What about all the sharing you preach all the time? Why don't you sell a gold cross and give the money to a starving African village? Isn't that what you tell us to do?"

The thing is, it's easier to criticize others and to tell them what to do with their life. So the Pope may do whatever he wants. He may preach what he doesn't practice himself. He may speak in the name of God (lots of psychiatric patients do too...free speech!!). But sometimes he ought to shut the hell up (no pun intended)...just out of respect for all the Catholics that live in a spiritual way. If a little glitter makes them happy, so be it. People are intelligent enough to see that glitter is not a way of living (see the Vatican). They don't need a hypocrite pope to tell them what to do. Why does the Catholic Church always have to use culpability? Why does it always have to make people guilty and ashamed? The answer is obvious: to control people.

Fear and culpability...starting to sound like politics...

The more you feel guilty, the more you go to Church to make a confession. Then they try to make you believe that they have the power to forgive your sins (in the name of God, of course). And, forgiveness comes quite easier when you drop a few bucks in the basket (see the video):

I know it's raw. I know people might be offended by the George Carlin routine (message to them: grow up and/or grow a pair!!!). Most of it was created to shock. But a lot of what he says is true. Nevertheless, every time people are mad at God, I believe people are mad at Man's image of God. You know, the guy with a beard that will "strike upon thee". The Vengeful God. Well, something tells me that this Vengeful God was created by Man...in his own image. But that's just my opinion.

I think God or any Superior Being is far too complicated for a simple Man to understand. Religion was created by Man to tell other men his vision of God. Sometimes Man has a tendency to force its opinion upon others...to control them (can you hear politics again?).

By the way, I think the Pope already has a lot on his plate. He should take care of his own mess before telling anyone how to live his or her life. How about sexual abuse by Catholic priests (including child abuse). An exception? I don't think so. There were notable cases of sexual abuse by members of the Catholic Church, during the last 50-60 years, reported in countries like Argentina, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Chile, Croatia, France, Germany, Great Britain, Ireland, Italy, Malta, Kenya, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Slovenia, Sweden, Tanzania and the last, but not least, the United States of America. And, interesting fact, cases were reported in almost all of the said countries during the 2005-2011 period.

You want to talk about glitter? The Church spent hundreds of millions of dollars either defending itself in those cases and/or settling them. I bet if you transformed that sum of money into gold coins, you could see it glittering from the moon.

Pope Benedict XVI also called for an end to the bloodshed in Syria and the resumption of peace talks between Israel and the Palestinians in his Christmas message. Ok. And why not the end of hunger throughout the world? (just a bunch of blah! blah! blah! of no consequence). But why doesn't he ask his priests to quit the abuse and seek psychiatric help?

My message to Pope Benedict XVI, for the Holidays: "See through your own superficial glitter, and concentrate instead on practicing what you preach." Clean your own house before telling people how to clean theirs. In other words, mind your own goddamn business.

Again, I wish you and your loved ones a Happy New Year. I Wish you all Peace, Love, Health, Happiness and Prosperity

THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The Clue. The date next Saturday will be January ___, 2012.

Happy and Dandy Clown of the Week: Drew Brees. The New Orleans quarterback (NFL American football) broke Dan Marino's passing yardage record for a single season with 5,087 yards passing....and still one game to play. That record was 27 years old. Sometimes nice guys finish first.

Sad Clown of the Week: People living in the Middle East. Can't believe people made comparisons with the Occupy Wall Street movement. Not in the same ball park. Not even the same sport. 2012 will be challenging for the people (not their respective governments) from countries like Syria, Egypt, Iraq, Yemen, Iran, Libya, etc. You are all in my prayers. May you finally get the country you wish for (and not the country USA wishes for you).

Clever song lyrics: "Maybe it's not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate." - Song: Crazy - Artist: Ozzy Osbourne (...yeah! I know! He had his moments too!).

Cheesy song lyrics: "I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you did, as long as you love me." Song: As Long As You Love Me - Artist: Backstreet Boys (Ok. That sounds so nice and romantic on paper...but let's test how serious you really are about that bullshit statement...Would you sing the same lyrics if the girl from the song was a crack whore with a history of violence that offered her services for $10 and that spent most of her life in prison for fraud, extortion and human organ traffic? Just don't fall asleep on her watch, buddy...).

Philosophical Quote of the week: "You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life." Character: Phil (wonderfully played by Bill Murray) - Movie: Groundhog Day

I told you so (last week and the week before): Tim Tebow and the Broncos lost two games in a row. It proves, again, my theory: God doesn't give a rat's ass about football. It's only men playing a game (for big bucks).

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

If you build it, they will come: looking back on 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 22:43:00 +0000

"If you build it, he will come." - Shoeless Joe Jackson (played by Ray Liotta), Field of Dreams

Replace the "he" with "they". Well, I listened to the voice...and I built it.

I started to write this blog in August, 2011. I think I always wanted to write. I always had this urge to tell stories, whether they were written or verbal. However, the paths I have chosen in life led me to a day job that involves a lot of writing but very little story telling. I needed to do more.

Then, circumstances and people pointed at blogs. I was never attracted to them...but little I knew. This blog is everything I always felt like writing: making people think, making them smile and laugh (or at least, trying to), detecting political bullshit and, giving some sort of happy ending, even when it looks impossible.

At younger age, I was a radio host for a College radio. One thing that completely changed the way I approach life was "the weekly deadline", the sense of urgency to have the show ready on time. Well, I feel the same about this blog. And it's a nice source of motivation.

I built it...and they came. You came. And I thank you so much for that. But you came from where? Not much from my surroundings. You came from all around the world. To me, that is very impressive.

But you are coming from places I didn't even know existed: Isle of Man (between Ireland and England), Brunei (near Malaysia) and Guernsey (an island between England and France).

Another surprising fact: many of this blog's readers are from India and Russia. I don't know what to make of that. But I'm happy. Glod bless you all.

But enough about me. Besides the creation of this blog, what happenend in 2011? What have we learned?

Well, for starters, New York has opened, like many major cities, its first camping site. It's called Zuccotti Park. Food is available on site...but you gotta love it spicy (see pepper spray). And remember to bring your own porta potty.

Politics caught up with sports and got its own version of Tiger Woods: Anthony Weiner. However, Tiger never got out of the woods (no pun intended)...Weiner had to keep his wiener (ok...pun intended!!) in the packet.

A fruit painfully mourned its maker: Apple, Inc.

Like every year, we lose many loved ones. Some of them are famous. As for the others, their death made a little less of a splash. Let's remember the semi-splashes that had a special place in our hearts.

2011 will be remembered as the year Columbo died (see video):

2011 will also be remembered as the year Mr. Al Davis died (owner of the Oakland Raiders, NFL football). Controversial man. Leader of the Dark Side. The guy you love to hate. We'll miss you...just for not hearing you say "Just win, baby!!!" (see video):

And Macho Man Savage (see video):

And Actor (Police Academy) and American Football Star Bubba Smith (see video):

And an outrageous number of soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq...in a pointless dragging war. God bless them all.

In the real estate department, God went for a bigger home...he moved from a Church to a Stadium (helping Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos accomplishing miracles).

Black Friday is officially changing its name to: No Holds Barred - Kill of be killed - Bite, scratch, kick, dismember...and pepper spray.

Republicans told us all year how bad Barack Obama was as a President (and they did everything in their power to make him look bad every way they could) and are offering, as the alternative, a bunch of rich clowns (Dumb, Dumber, Dumbette, Dumbest and Dumbo...guess who Dumbo is!!), which are a gift to us bloggers but a nightmare for a country desperately in need of strong leadership. Ron Paul is probably the only serious and intelligent candidate...but is completely ignored (and considered crazy too).

A citizen of Zanesville, Ohio, opened a Safari Amusement Park in his city. The only problem was that it was out in the open and he didn't tell a soul before the grand opening. But it was a real success: 49 exotic animals were killed on the first day.

I still have no clue who is Snookie...except that she's loud, bitter, chunky and utterly insignificant. (and why should I care?). Which brings me to...

Kim Kardashian...*sight* (sticking a finger down my throat)...here's the second part of my reaction (see video):

The Kardashians are rumored to endorse fashion products manufactured in foreign sweatshops, where workers, some as young as 16 years old, are abused and virtually imprisoned. I have an idea. Maybe they should team up with Newt Gingrich in 2012 for a new Children Labour Program. Gingrich suggested that poor kids should work as janitors in schools. No kidding, the guy is suggesting it with a straight face!

Hey! Ain't nothing but a Circus. And that's why I enjoyed 2011. We are stuck with the clowns...might as well get a few laughs out of the situation.

2012 should be a hell of a ride too...with a great bang near the end of the year...and it won't be the Ball Drop in Central Park...but the end of the World on December 12.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and your loved ones a Happy New Year. I Wish you all Peace, Love, Health, Happiness and Prosperity

I will post articles on December 31 (no rest for the wicked)...so stay tuned!!! It should be something special to start the New Year.

THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The Clue. "Fall ______ times, stand up eight." - Japanese Proverb

Happy and Dandy Clown of the Week: Santa Claus. iTunes cards and apps make his bag lighter than in the past.

Sad Clown of the Week: Mrs Claus. She is not getting "any" while Santa Claus is too busy distributing gifts to all the children of the world.

Clever song lyrics: "Silent Night. Holy Night." - Song: Silent Night - Artist: Mahalia Jackson (Simply the best)

Cheesy song lyrics: "Ding dong, ding dong. Ding dong, ding dong." Song: Wonderful Christmas Time - Artist: Paul McCartney (That song is so annoying, it makes me feel like stabbing my eyes with plastic forks. Paul should have used a pseudo name for that one. John must be grinning in his grave every time that song plays).

Philosophical Quote of the week: (To go with your turkey dinner) "A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti." Character: Dr. Hannibal Lecter(wonderfully played by Sir Anthony Hopkins) - Movie: Silence of the Lambs

Floyd Mayweather Jr. (boxer) sentenced to 90 days in jail after pleading guilty: Anything...just anything to avoid a fight with Manny Pacquiao. I spy a coward!!!

I told you so (last week): My beloved Patriots beat Tim Tebow and the Broncos. But most of all, it proves my theory: God doesn't give a rat's ass about football. It's only men playing a game (for big bucks).

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

Giggling like a schoolgirl while cleaning brushes

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 00:36:00 +0000

I was waiting for a slow news week to post this. I wanted to write about humble and silent heroes that make our lives better. There are so few, and yet they are so important. I wonder why we take them so often for granted. Well, I wanted this to be a tribute to those unsung heroes that changed our lives just by reminding us to smell the flowers, even though we always find ways to forget it. That special brand of people that lives for the little things that life brings us. The little things that get us to appreciate life, the only path to true happiness. Silent heroes seem to relish in them while we just watch with one eye, find it cute, and quickly move on.

People around me, including my loved ones, don't know this...but I loved to watch The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross, on PBS, late 80's and early 90's (see video for a taste of the show).

I just loved watching Bob Ross paint. I was a teenager at the time, a sort of hard-nose rocker that found trouble easily. I don't know why I enjoyed it . It's very ironic because I don't even paint. I never was attracted to painting or drawing. Even my stickmen look awful! But there was something soothing and reassuring about Bob Ross in general. You know the "everything's gonna be alright" feeling. He lived for the little things and he surely appreciated life. It showed...as I secretly watched.

But you know, sometimes public figures on television are very different in really life. Sometimes they are quite the opposite of what they represent on T.V. Take O.J. Simpson, for example. As an American football fan, I just loved to watch him every Sunday as a broadcaster. He just sounded like a very sweet guy. We surely had another thing coming...

So, at one point, after the O.J. incident, before Bob Ross passed away in 1995 (at the age of 52), I wondered if Bob Ross could be a different person in real life than the soft spoken painter on T.V. I even imagined the worst scenarios: he would stop his show right in the middle, take a canvas and smash it on his head and scream at the top of his lungs "Fuck this shit...I'm gonna drive to California and drop acid. So long, fuckos!!"

But it never happened. Instead, he would simply giggle like a schoolgirl every time he cleaned his brush (see video...the "cleaning brushes festival" starts at 0:09).

And when he said "Maybe we'll get a little crazy today"...geez, the word "crazy" had a different meaning for me. For me it was partying. For him it was trying to paint something different. But, even then, I was totally digging his message.

And how about that: a white boy wearing an afro...In some parts of American cities, he could have been beaten up just for that reason. Hey! You have to respect the dude! That guy had to be the major dude! And not only he had cool hair, the guy acted cool too. He was soft spoken. Never raised his voice. He's been often compared to Mr. Rogers from Mr. Rogers' neighbourhood. In so many ways, his T.V. show was the adult version of Mr. Rogers' neighbourhood. Every week, he would take us on a new adventure. And even for adults, the adventure was magical.

I always pictured Bob Ross as a Vermonter. Can't you picture him making his own bread, drinking herbal tea, spying birds? Well the guy was born in Daytona Beach, Florida, and was raised in Orlando. But I was stunned...no, not enough strong of a word here...I was floored when I learned that Bob Ross was enlisted in the U.S. Air Force and at some point was transferred to an Air Force base in Alaska. Ok. Maybe not Vermont...but Alaska is starting to make more sense.

I don't picture him for a second being a military. He doesn't look like a tough guy. But hey! It's just to say that you don't really know a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. In his case, his military boots. He had to do what he had to do at that period of his life. But that was surely not the true nature of our soft spoken white dude hippie with an afro. I'm pretty sure the first time he held a paint brush, he just knew that he had to leave the Air Force.

Of course, when you become such a public figure, people will start to imitate you or make fun of you (see the following two videos):

I'm sure he would have the sense of humor to appreciate such attention. In any case, one of his famous quotes was "There are no mistakes in your world. We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents". He would say it very often on his show, sometimes with different words. I'm pretty sure he believed in that. If not, he fooled me...and he got me to believe in that too.

So any time I paint my home walls (I can't draw or paint a picture...but, I can apply paint on a wall!!), when I clean the brushes, I always think about him. I'm sure that if he's watching me, he's giggling, and telling me what he used to say on his show "just beat the devil out of it".

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and your loved ones a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

I will post articles on December 24 and 31 (no rest for the wicked)...so stay tuned!!!

THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The Clue. A movie starring Will Smith: _______ pounds.

Sad Clown of the Week: Lowe's. The U.S.-based chain of retail home improvement and appliance stores pulled all its ads from TLC's "All-American Muslim" reality show because Muslims were portrayed as "normal and ordinary" people (as opposed to portraying them as terrorists!!!). When you think people are getting away from racism...some stupid-fearful-weak-ignorant-narrow-minded hillbillies keep pulling you back in it!!

Happy and Dandy Clown of the Week: Russell Simmons. The co-founder of the Def Jam record label and creator of the clothing fashion line Phat Farm has offered to buy all of the advertising time dropped by Lowe's for TLC's "All-American Muslim" reality show. Good for him! (But he couldn't do it because all the advertisement slots were already filled by other companies).

Clever song lyrics: "All you need is love. And love is all you need." - Song: All you need is love - Artist: The Beatles

Cheesy song lyrics: "I wanna know what love is. I want you to show me." Song: I wanna know what love is - Artist: Foreigner (I don't know who's the girl he was talking to...but that's a lot of pressure: "showing" love???)

Philosophical Quote of the week: "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!" Character: President Merkin Muffley (wonderfully played by Peter Sellers) - Movie: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Sign the end of the world is near: Colorado Pastor Wayne Hanson said about Tim Tebow's (Denver Broncos' quarterback) recent success with his team: "It's not luck. Luck isn't winning 6 games in a row. It's favor. God's favor". Two things I have to say about that. Firstly, God does not give a rat's ass about football. Secondly, if God was a football fan, He'd be a New England Patriots' fan...and my Pats shall beat Tim and the Broncos tomorrow afternoon!!

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

News headlines from the year 2061

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 00:17:00 +0000

I pride myself on not trying to be the first one to emit an opinion on a subject the moment a story comes out. I think it's the main problem with today's media: it's more important to be the first one to report the news than to be accurate. You report...then you correct it...but only if you really have to (for example, because an injunction was granted against you by the Court).

It's very unfortunate because being right was traded for being quick...The "winner", as if it was a race. And because perception is reality, inaccurate news could be perceived as the truth: "Ma! Mus' be true...they said it on the Teeee Veeeee." (with your best southern accent). In other words, the news, and the media itself, could become effective tools of propaganda when controlled by the got-an-agenda crowd (see Fox News).

I always try to do the contrary with this blog, which is to take the time to get all of the facts straight and then, take a step back to figure out all of the angles. Reflect before writing instead of writing and then makes excuses or use spin.

But humans have a tendency to contradict themselves, and I'm no exception. But I will try do it with creativity. Instead of reporting news too quickly, I will simply anticipate the news. And since my crystal ball is very powerful...

I chose to simply give random real news headlines from the year 2061...

"I've seen the future, and it is much like the present, only longer."
- Dan Quisenberry, former Kansas City Royals pitcher

News headlines from the year 2061

"Occupy Wall Street: to commemorate its 50th anniversary, a judge permits the construction of a condo tower at the Zuccotti Park encampment to accommodate the members of the OWS movement."

"The new iPhone 37 allows to download songs directly into the brain."

"Man dies of a brain hemorrhage after he accidentally downloaded the song "Da da da" (by Trio) directly in his brain, with his new iPhone 37. The defective phone repeated the song 2500 times. Then the brain gave in."

"English language falls to third place among the official languages in the USA, after Spanish and Arabic."

"Cricket finally becomes a popular sport in the USA after tweaking its rules: all players must be sprayed with gasoline and the ball is put on fire."

"Keith Richards is back from the dead. Crawling out of his grave, he declared to the press: "Maybe as a human being I looked like rubbish, mate, but as a zombie, I look great! Marvelous!"

Keith Richards

"The inventor of the teletransporter (or teleporter) was convicted murder in the first degree for using his wife as a guinea pig, while testing the apparel, and sending her straight to the sun."

"Brett Favre wants to come full circle: plans a comeback at 92 years old with the Green Bay Packers. “I wanna win a second Super Bowl before I die", he declared after losing his denture."

"A new Beatles song was found on a cassette hidden in Yoko Ono’s cellar. It was written by John while singing in the shower. The song is call "Rub-a-dub my love". Sean Ono said: "We didn’t have anything to play the cassette."

"The latest Friday the 13th, Part 27, hits the theatres this Friday. In Part 27, Jason finally gets into a long awaited combat with Darth Vader." (Rated S for stupid)

"Apple, Inc. buys the patent for the teletransporter: its inventor becomes the richest life sentenced inmate in history."

"Vermont finally declares its independence from the USA."

"Walmart now sells breast implants. All their "associates" are said to be qualified to install them."

"The Chicago Cubs lose the 7th game of the World Series. The Cubs have not won a championship in more than 153 years."

"Scientists finally find the preventive cure to cancer: don't eat processed food, exercise, don't smoke, don't drink too much, don't eat too much, have a healthy love and sexual life and...laugh a little."

"Teletransporter inventor escapes from prison by recreating its invention in his cell."

"Woman kills 20 shoppers with a light sabre in a local store during Black Friday."

"NCAA Football is starting to think about replacing the BCS with playoffs."

"Walmart recalls all breast implants sold for incompatibility with the iPhone 37: the breasts implants dance uncontrollably to songs playing on the iPhone."

"Reflections on a Modern Circus, universally known blog (yeah! right!), including Jupiter and Saturn colonists, celebrates its 50th anniversary. Its founder, Michael Bigras, was at the hospital during the celebrations after fracturing his hip while typing his last blog article. "

THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The Clue. A convenience store: _______ Eleven.

Happy and Dandy Clown of the Week: The planet discovered by NASA. NASA has discovered a planet that seems to have similar conditions to the earth: a temperature of 22°C (72°F) and also has water. Good thing for the planet: our earth is 600 light years away from it...so we can't visit it and mess it up (with good intentions of "helping", of course).

Sad Clown of the Week: Me. Herman Cain has put an end to his campaign! With Rick Perry's campaign going down the drain, I am losing two easy sources of inspiration for comedy and satire. But hey! On the bright side, they both have no chance of becoming the President of the USA in 2012.

Clever song lyrics: "Poets, priests and politicians. Have words to thank for their positions. Words that scream for your submission." - Song: De do do do, de da da da - Artist: The Police

Cheesy song lyrics: "Like gasoline you wanna pump me. And leave me when you get your fill, yeah." Song: Unskinny Bop - Artist: Poison

Philosophical Quote of the week: "You know when you hear girls say "Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have fucked that guy?" We could be that mistake!" Character: Seth (wonderfully played by Jonah Hill) - Movie: Superbad

Good slogan for Newt Gingrich’s campaign: “Occupy my ass!” (And there would be plenty of space to do so).

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

The ends don't justify being mean

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 22:55:00 +0000

What is the common denominator among the following persons or fictional characters? Darth Vader, J.R. Ewing (Dallas), Adolf Hitler, Bill O'Reilly, Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs), Ted Bundy (serial killer), HAL 9000 (2001: A Space Odyssey), Zombies (they're everywhere!!), Roddy Piper (wrestling), Attila The Hun, A-Rod (a.k.a. Alex Rodriguez, baseball player), Josef Stalin, Sideshow Bob (The Simpsons), Doctor Evil (Austin Powers), Mr. (Montgomery) Burns (The Simpsons), The Shark (Jaws), Sean Avery (hockey), terrorists, The Tasmanian Devil, The I.R.S. and last but not least, politicians.

The common denominator? You got it! They are all villains.

But why are they villains? Most of them want to dominate the world (Darth Vader, J.R. Ewing, Hitler, Stalin, Doctor Evil, Sideshow Bob, Mr. Burns, politicians, etc.).

Some of them are just very hungry (The Shark, The Tasmanian Devil, Zombies, The I.R.S., A-Rod, etc.).

Some of them are just evil (Ted Bundy, terrorists, Sean Avery, Bill O'Reilly, etc.).

But there is a new brand of evil people that just made its apparition in the USA: people shopping on Black Friday.

Last Black Friday, a woman entered a crowded Walmart, near Los Angeles, looking for some electronic apparel. She must have been inconvenienced by the overcrowded store and the waiting lines. And who would blame her? Where we differ is how we would react to the same situation. I, for one, would have chosen to leave (But that's only hypothetical...'cause I never go to those crazy events). Yes, I love to take advantage of rebates like the next guy. But I wouldn't waste a day off from work for a buck or two of discount. While I would be leaving, she, the Walmart woman, would be ready to do anything to get the item she wants. A real winner. She's not a quitter like me...noooooo! In other words, she would have found a roster spot with the Oakland Raiders of the 70's. Like the late Al Davis used to say "Just win, baby", and "If you don't cheat, you don't try".

To gain an upper hand, she used pepper spray on other customers. Just imagine the scene: you are walking in a shopping mall or a store, and suddenly a woman rushes towards you, armed with a can of pepper spray, starts to shoot some pepper spray straight at your eyes. Your eyes burn like fire even before you've figured out what's going on.

20 people suffered minor injuries. Nevertheless, Black Friday found a new meaning...MEANing...

They are still looking for the woman. I bet she's not even worried. Al Davis would be proud of her: she did what she had to do, what it takes.

You just can't create crazy stories like that one.

Good news: the store remained open (Thank God!!!) and those not affected by the pepper spray continued shopping (as they should!!!).

But pepper spray is soooooo passé. Here's my suggestion on how to grab the pole position on Black Friday next year. First you seal (with a plastic bag, perhaps) the item you want to buy on Black Friday (preferably, on the eve of D-Day). You tie the sealed item to a brick (or some sort of heavy rock). The morning of Black Friday, instead of running to get an item, you completely flood the store with water. You fill the store until the water level reaches 4 feet from the sealing. Most of the customs would need to swim to the surface to, you know, breathe (duh!). People not being able to swim would die (there are no wars without casualties!!!). Every item in the store would be ruined, except for your sealed item. Then you enter the store with your deep-sea diving suit, slowly walking towards the ultimate prize: your sealed item. No violence. No danger of being last. And finally, if you are extremely honest, you leave the money at the cash register (which would be likely to move, because of the water).

By the way, for those with no sense of humor, I was kidding. I was being sarcastic!!

I'd like to tell you that the woman pepper spraying was the only incident...(see the video).

In the next video, you would expect that people were fighting to get into a rock concert or a Lady Gaga show...(see the video).

Black Friday...at midnight!!! People were waiting to get into an H&M store (clothes) to do what? Yep! You've guessed it: buy more stuff!! (Most of which will end up in boxes in your garage...that will ultimately prevent you from parking you car in it!! In other words, useless stuff will make you shovel snow...and/or park in the rain!!).

So is that the new trend? Physically injuring people to buy stuff. They don't even want to steal the goddamn item. They just want to buy the thing, with a rebate, and they have no time for buying it like a normal person would.

Animals. Maybe educated...but still, animals.

So what's next? (see the video)

Stomping, trampling and crushing people to buy stuff. After all, isn't that what Thanks Giving is all about? Isn't it part of a balanced life? Can't you hear them scream in stores everywhere "It's either you or me, buddy!".

As a pretty cool dude would say, "Do onto others as you would like done onto you". I don't want to rain on your parade, but I think we are constantly moving away from it. Is that where I should say "Love your enemies"???

THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The clue: the number of deadly sins.

Happy and Dandy Clown of the Week: Again, Barack Obama. He's witnessing, with a smirk on his face, that the front running 2012 Republican Presidential Candidate is Newt Gingrich, whose campaign went completely down the drain last summer. The only strategy is to simply wait until he derails again.

Sad Clown of the Week: Jim Boeheim, head coach of the Syracuse University Basketball team. He earns the title for lashing out at the alleged victims of sexual molestation, by former assistant coach Bernie Fine, calling them liars and saying that they were only seeking money. Since then, Fine was fired and Boeheim apologized for his rude comments.

Clever song lyrics: "Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind." - Song: Lateralus - Artist: Tool

Cheesy song lyrics: "Together we’re one. Separated, we are two." Song: Girl You Know it’s True - Artist: Milli Vanilli (Bad at songwriting...but hey, you gotta give it to them...they're good at math!)

Philosophical Quote of the week: "Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face." Character: Vincent Vega (wonderfully played by John Travolta) - Movie: Pulp Fiction

New saying involving the word "dead": “Dead as Herman Cain's campaign.”

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

Revisiting : Flash Occupations...a flash in the pan? (Second and hopefully the last part)

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 00:38:00 +0000

Part II of my blog article titled Flash Occupations...a flash in the pan? (Part I published on October 22, 2011).

Well, what's up with the Flash Occupations (Wall Street, Oakland, UC Berkley, etc.). What's new? (Watch the video).

Not much, uh! Are we surprised? Hate to say it but...I told you so. It was inevitable. We all knew the Occupants would not be tolerated indefinitely. Firstly, for good reasons: safety and public health. Secondly, for bad reasons: the image of public officials.

Although it was bound to happen, I'm very sorry to see that police brutality was the main event again. Not much was accomplished, except horror scenes. That is really sad. Watch the next video. It was filmed on November 18, 2011, at "Occupy UC Berkley", in California. I tried to pick the shortest one because it's difficult to watch (if you have a heart):

And that's only a tiny example of what happened out there. Try to guess how the Chancellor of the University of California, Berkeley (also referred to as Cal), Robert Birgeneau, responded to the student community regarding "Occupy UC Berkley"?

"It is unfortunate that some protesters chose to obstruct the police by linking arms and forming a human chain to prevent the police from gaining access to the tents. This is not non-violent civil disobedience."

So, basically, Mr Birgeneau is saying that linking arms is violent. At some point, I was afraid he was going to say "Stop hitting the policemen's fists and batons with your faces. This is violent behaviour. You could injure their fists!".

But don't worry. The Occupants have morons on their side too. They keep the same number, you know, just in case...Here's an example (see video):

But if you are going to send in the clowns, at least, send in the funny ones.

As it turns out, the only common denominator of the Occupants is that they are pissed-off. Some are mad at the System, the Government and Wall Street, which in my book, is more than legitimate. But for some others, it gets a little blurry...not to say, plain moronic. All of that is normal. 99% of the whole population is a whole lotta people!! In such large numbers, it's impossible to get unanimity.

I'm definitely part of the 99%. And as I watch all kinds of clips about the Flash Occupations, I feel I have a lot in common with a few of the Occupants. However, I feel that I don't have a thing in common with most of them...except maybe being pissed at the System.

But even then, we are not pissed for the same reasons and we certainly don't believe in the same solutions. So where does that leave us? (See the cricket sound video at the beginning).

As I said before, although I totally agree with the principal behind the Occupations, I totally disagree with the way it was done. Again, the media was underestimated. Like children, the media needs to be entertained. You need to give "some" once in a while...but not all at once.

I think this is all the result of a magical way of thinking: we don't need to organize this, it's just going to "happen" as we go along, an inner voice will lead us (it seems the only voice is the sound of the cricket), we don't need a leader, we don't need a uniform strategy, we don't need a media spokesperson.

From the get-go, I thought it was naive. Did we really expect that things would just "happen", that we would sing Kumbaya, that we would only have to join hands with flowers in our hair (well, count me out, I'm completely bald!!).

The media is like a hyperactive child, not staying at one place at a time, running around, expecting something new every day. But it's sneaky and slick too. The media gives the impression that it wants to be your friend, that it's there to help you. But it's not. It's a hyperactive child craving candy. In our case, candy would be new stuff. "You don't have new stuff to give us, we'll find new stuff!!" Media will concentrate on things that have nothing to do with the Occupations: drugs, drug overdoses, fights, rapes, police brutality, violence and/or provocation of some Occupants against the police, Occupants being non respectful of surrounding businesses' restrooms, the outcasts and bizarre people that just happen to be there (without really being a part of it), etc.

The message gets diluted. Then the media focuses on everything but the real message. It starts to sound like the G6, G7 or G8 (did I hear someone scream "BINGO!"??) protests. In those cases, the media concentrated more on the thugs and hooligans than those who were protesting for good reasons.

The result: your chance to make a good first impression is ruined.

The Occupy Movement in general tries to make us believe that everyone gets along. Occupants in the Zuccotti Park are beginning to be concerned about the financial transparency, feeling underrepresented and not having enough daily resources as winter nears. Some are forming their own movement. There would be an Uptown Zuccotti Park and a Downtown Zuccotti Park. Some are calling the latter "The Ghetto", the Uptown being the 15% more educated and/or fortunate...

Is there a Sub-Wall-Street or a Sub-1% amongst the 99%? Is it 15% of the 99%? Or is it 15% of the percentage representing the 99% at the Zuccotti Park? This is getting confusing... One thing is for sure: even if the 99% is protesting against the 1%, it surely doesn't make the 99% homogenous.

Now there are different messages coming from different sites. Some more "hostile" than others. There are talks about blocking roads or bridges...

I'm not an expert at this. But as a member of the 99%, if you protest against the System, the Government or the 1%, I have no problem with that as long as it's peaceful. On the other hand, if you make the 99% pay by preventing them to go to work, or to pick up their children at the daycare on time, the public opinion will suddenly shift. Not only it won't help the 1% acknowledging their faults, but on top of that, the Occupy Movement will lose a lot of public support...including mine.

THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: No lucky number this week...it was unfortunately snowed in...NOT!...it's only covered by 17.78 centimeters of snow. The lucky number of the week is the conversion of that number into inches.

Happy and Dandy Clown of the Week: The first snow of the season. Fluffy. Immaculate. Snow crystals swaying as they fall, slowly...dancing to faint Christmas melodies escaping from chimneys, only to lie down on top of each other to form a blanket that covers everything. A blanket that warms our hearts. 30 minutes away from the resurrection of Frosty the Snowman. But only a second away from giggling children.

Sad Clown of the Week: The first snow of the season. People haven't put on winter tires yet. Accidents. Traffic. White shit that rapidly turns to brown (shit) slush that splashes you while you stand on a street corner. Ice covering windshields of vehicles. People slipping and falling on ice...looking like human pretzels. Weathermen, with crazy names like Dusty Sunshine, constantly reminding you it's "only" the first day of snow. One minute away from the resurrection of snowballs...that little brats will aim at your car. A few hours late for work. But only a second away from a staccato melody of creative and graphic swearing. Wishing for the snow to melt into a beautiful liquid called water...that shall finish its journey into the sewers...deservingly so!

Clever song lyrics: "Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. With open arms and open eyes." - Song: Drive - Artist: Incubus

Cheesy song lyrics: "I'm too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts." Song: I'm too sexy - Artist: Right Said Fred

Philosophical Quote of the week: "People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch." Character: Melvin Udall (wonderfully played by Jack Nicholson) - Movie: As Good as it Gets

Good song for Ron Paul’s campaign: “The more you ignore me.” (Morrissey)

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

The story of an autumn Leaf that fell and went back to its branch

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 00:12:00 +0000

As your are reading this article, we are right in the middle of autumn here in Canada and the northern part of the United States of America. It's such a beautiful season, even if it's a little chilly. The scenery is spectacular as the season changes green leaves to beautiful shades of red and yellow. The downside is that the leaves eventually all fall and most of the trees become completely naked, which is ironic because freezing winter is coming...

Allow me to tell you the story of a Leaf that not only fell to the ground during autumn, but also fell into a hole that looked like a bottomless pit.

This is the story of a man. His name is Ryan Leaf. Although he was a professional American Football player, this is the story, in a nutshell, of a man and his mistakes. You don't need to know anything about American Football. It's a story about great expectations and greater deceptions. In other words, this could very well be the story of you or me. I never thought that one day I would tell his story, in a positive way. He was always perceived as an individual that did just about everything to be disliked by everyone. Here's another auto-destructive person with loads of talent.

He was what we call a stud. He was both a high school and college American football superstar. He probably got all the girls he wanted. He was the toast of the town. He was The Man as in "You tha man!".

To make a long story short, at the 1998 NFL Draft, the first choice over all was between him and Peyton Manning. The Indianapolis Colts had the first choice and they opted for Manning. The Chargers chose Leaf with the second over all pick. Deceiving? Maybe just a little bit...But Leaf got a four years contract worth more than 30 million dollars, one third of it as guaranteed money (a signing bonus).

Leaf was rich. He became a little cocky. Before playing one game, before even winning one game, he told the press bluntly: "I'm looking forward to a 15-year career, a couple of trips to the Super Bowl and a parade through downtown San Diego".

A couple of trips to the Super Bowl? A parade? Was I the only one that had a strong feeling that it was about to get ugly for our little champion? Although he already had issues with his team about his attitude, he played well during pre-season. Heck, he even won his first two regular season games.

That's when the wheels came off...

He started to throw more interceptions than touchdowns (for those who don't know much about American football, an interception is basically throwing the ball to a member of the opposing team...which is not good at all!). Funny thing, he also started to slip on imaginary banana peels. He would trip and fall on his butt without being push or tackled by an opposing player. Basically, he was inventing new ways to screw up. He was finding new ways to lose games.

Teammates were beginning to lose confidence. Sports reporters were murmuring words like bust. Pundits were saying Payton Manning was the real deal. Was Leaf spending too many nights partying in Vegas?

The pressure on the young man seamed, at the time, to be unbearable. The bubble was about to burst. That's where we got to know the dark side of Ryan, as you can get a taste it in this video:

Ryan was carrying such a load. Any stupid question from the media was interpreted as an insult. He was young, immature and throwing tantrums at will.

His worst fault? Being rich at such a young age (and being so immature). It gave him the illusion that he was entitled to something. Fans didn't see it that way. It was more the other way around: Ryan Leaf owed them something...for all the money he got.

But his problems didn't end with that. They were only beginning. He got a serious shoulder injury. Then he got into an argument with the Chargers General Manager, his boss. He was suspended and fined. Back from injury, his performances were terrible and he was released by the Chargers. For all the money he was paid, Ryan gave them only four wins in three years. It was a disaster.

After his release, he leaped from team to team. The downward spiral only continued until he hit rock bottom and decided to call it quits.

He then found a "job", as a volunteer, as a quarterbacks coach with West Texas A&M University, a small Division II college. He found a way to mess that up too. Addicted to pain killers, he tried to get some of those pills from the university football players. He was forced to resign (as a volunteer!!).

As if it wasn't enough, he got deeper in his mess (see the video):

Spearing you the legal details, after pleading guilty, he got 10 years of probation and a fine. All of the sudden, he became a joke, a running gag (see video for an example):

Happy ending? You betcha!!! He got into drug rehab which seems to have worked out for him. He understood that Ryan Leaf didn't mean much in Canada, so he moved to Vancouver. Great place for a new start. He got a normal job, and occasionally works for sports radio. And despite being on the right track, last June, he had surgery to remove a benign tumor from his brain stem (It simply never ends for Ryan...).

Now, he enjoys not to be the superstar stud anymore. He also got a book deal for a three books to be written about his football career and personal life, the first of which was released at the beginning of November 2011. He's now in the business of helping others anonymously...how about that for a transformation?

"How many roads must a man walk down, before you call him a man?"
- Song: Blowing in the wind - Artist: Bob Dylan

In Leaf's case, I can't tell you if Leaf became a man. But one thing is for sure, figuratively speaking, he must have travelled 3/4 of the roads on Google Maps. And for him to show, humbly, signs of change, is remarkable and almost miraculous. Let's just say that almost everyone threw away the towel with regards to Leaf. This story reminds us that we are alone in this life and that it all starts by loving what and who you are.

But you know what? When you really think about it, this story is not about Ryan Leaf. In truth, this story is a tribute to second chance, even if sometimes it seems unlikely. At one point or another in our lives, we all need a second chance.

THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The clue...You go on a trip to Canada, more precisely in the province of Quebec. You stop at a convenience store. You buy two soft drinks ($2.50 x 2) and six packs of jawbreakers ($0.19 x 6). The answer is the total amount it will cost you. (Bonus clue...don't forget to add the two sales taxes that sum up to 14%).

Clever song lyrics: "We can't afford to be neutral on a moving train." - Song: Deer Dance - Artist: System of a Down

Cheesy song lyrics: "My only addiction has to do with the female species. I eat 'em raw like sushi" - Song: Rico Suave - Artist: Gerardo (Question: you eat them with chopsticks, soya sauce and wasabi?? Dude!!!???)

Sad (and shameful) Clown of the Week: Joe Paterno. He was a "God" at Penn State. He was a "God" in Happy Valley, PA. There is NO WAY he didn't know about Jerry Sandusky "horseplaying" in the showers. Shame on you. Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, Joe.

Happy and Dandy Clown of the Week: Barack Obama. Giggling, as he watches the The Republican Party Presidential Primaries.

Great idea for a movie sequel: In the first movie, a teenage girl, who moved to Washington State, found her life radically changed when she fell in love with what she thought was a vampire. In the sequel, she finds out that the boyfriend is not a vampire but only a pale skin dude, with a bad case of psoriasis and genital herpes, that could not pull off fake fangs from a previous Halloween costume.

Something a Martian might say if he came to visit earth: Hey! Dude! The Republican Party Presidential Primaries is a spin-off of Saturday Night Live, right? It makes fun of politicians on how stupid they can be, right? That Rick “oops” Perry character is hilarious.

Good song for Rick Perry’s campaign: “Oops! I did it again.”

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

A yellow card for inappropriate behaviour

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 01:04:00 +0000

A little more serious this week. But we still have the Hodgepodge at the end of this article...on a lighter note.

Man has a tendency to fear the unknown. In reaction to that fear, Man has created many mechanisms to protect himself. One of the modern mechanisms is without a doubt cocooning. With television, the Web, including social media, eBay, on-line shopping, food ordering services, who needs to go out? In the comfort of our living room, we are almost immune (or we pretend we are) against mugging, diseases, rudeness and unpleasantness of other people, accidents, etc.

Furthermore, Man is unable to live with the fact that he can't explain why something happened. And the fact that Man cannot fathom something that occurred will sometimes motivate him to push beyond his limits. In the end, he may even surpass his own expectations. Inspired to conquer the unknown, he may conquer his fears as well.

However, on the darker side, when he is a little lazier (as many of us are), Man may be tempted to invent, imagine or improvise an explanation. That's where it gets messy. That's where it also gets interesting. Our Modern Circus, as we know it now, loves to conceive and produce stories to reassure itself. If the answer is unknown, we'll figure out some plausible explanation, then we'll pretend it's real. We'll repeat it so many times that we'll believe it and then, we'll sell it to the people. And they will buy it too (until they find out the truth...but how long 'til they find out?).

Replace "we" by the media and you get what we see every day on the news. The media will find some wacky, wacko, pseudo-expert to make us swallow the explanation that suits any problem. "Ma! If they said it on the TV, I reckon it must be true!" (to read with your best southern accent).

Someone gets killed in your neighbourhood. Of course it's a tragedy. The media implies that you could be next. "Ma! I reckon we need to find tha killa, ma" (again with your best southern accent).

But if they find only a body...but they are no leads. "We need to find a culprit". No evidence against anyone? Media publishes polls on TV saying that the "man on the street" thinks that the first guy that the police interrogated looks suspicious. He lives alone, doesn't talk much, a little shy and anti-social, doesn't seem too intelligent, doesn't care about his general appearance. In other words, he would have no chance to be selected on American Idol (probably the only thing he would be guilty of). If they had to bet money on it, they would bet against him.

Silently, people think that its not such a bad idea. Police wouldn't mind saying they solved it. A scapegoat would be so convenient. Until we catch a culpable party, people live in fear, in the unknown. Like a magician, the "scapegoat" will transform the unknown into a (pseudo) known. Everyone will finally sleep at night. But we would have to cross our fingers the real killer doesn't start killing again...

This is dangerous stuff. When it comes to condemn a person, it's not a "democracy" in a sense that it should not be determined by a poll. Leave polls to TMZ (where you can vote on whether Kim Kardashian should go through with her divorce...). If a person is innocent until proven guilty, I guess it all has to be based on evidence. It's sort of scientific. There's a method to it. It surely has nothing to do with what the "man on the street" thinks.

Please watch the next video. It's a little long, so please forward it to 6:30:

That was the street reaction to the verdict in the Conrad Murray trial was found guilty on one count of involuntary manslaughter of pop star Michael Jackson. A jury found Murray guilty. I'm pretty sure justice was served.

But in the video, at 6:30, you actually hear a crowd cheering out loud. Folks, this is not American Idol or The X Factor. This is not about cheering for your favorite singer, nor is it about cheering for your favorite sports team. Let's keep this in perspective.

I guess the crowd was composed of Michael Jackson fans. But the verdict won't bring him back. The verdict will have absolutely no direct effect on the fans lives either. What is there to cheer about? A man going to prison. Is that what it all comes down to? Is that what we've become as people? I'm satisfied that Conrad Murray will go to jail for what he's done. Nevertheless, the crowd going wild doesn't seem appropriate in my book. It seemed like they were convinced before the trial, before seeing the evidence. Could they influence the jury before the verdict? This ain't right.

Are we too much accustomed to contests like Dancing with the stars and do we feel we have to react that way to any event? Is it the anonymous factor...the Twitter factor? It's easy to take an anonymous stand, without assuming the responsibility of the choice. Some people are referring to it as an historic moment. Really?

Worst part is that it seems to be a new trend (see the video).

If you didn't know the video was about the reaction to Osama Bin Laden's death confirmation, when you hear the "USA! USA! USA!" chant, you could swear that it was a soundbite taken during the Olympics. A sigh of relief would certainly be in order. But cheers, chants and celebrations? Chauvinism. We are not playing video games here where soldiers that die are fictional. After the thousands of American soldiers that died during that war, out of respect for them, I don't see how we can be in a celebrating mood. The troops are still at war. And even if an evil man was killed, Evil (including terrorism) didn't die with him. People in other countries cheer when something bad happens to USA? Ok. But do we have to lower ourselves to their level?

On that day, I had a sigh of relief, I prayed for all the troops that died and for all the ones that are still out there. I keep my cheers for my beloved New England Patriots, during football games...where cheers belong.

In sports, you get penalties or yellow cards for unsportsmanlike misconduct or unnecessary roughness. We should be able to give those in real life, for every day behaviour. Today, I would give a penalty for inappropriate behaviour to all of the above-mentioned people.

Remember this wonderful quote by the late Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan: "Everyone is entitled to his own opinions, but not his own facts."

THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The clue...sept (in French).

Clever song lyrics: "Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name. Nobody came." - Song: Eleanor Rigby - Artist: The Beatles.

Cheesy song lyrics: "Mmm bop, ba duba dop, ba du bop, ba duba dop, ba du bop, ba duba dop, Ba du." - Song: MMMBop - Artist: Hanson. (Ah! Goddammit! I'm stuck with that stupid song in my head now!!! Grrr...).

Bad rock group names for Herman Cain: 1-Raising Cain; 2-Herman & the Victims; 3-Grope'n'fondle.

Bad idea for a movie: A young millionaire woman, named Kim, marries her boyfriend, makes money with the marriage itself, then files for divorce after 90 days...then tries to make money with the divorce too (wait a minute...I heard about that before somewhere...).

Good idea for a movie sequel: A girl, named Kim, bumps her head, then realizes she has no talent whatsoever, decides to abandon everything she's got and becomes a nun in Tibet. She brings her talentless friend, named Paris, with her.

Suggestion of a bad musical combination comparable to Metallica and Lou Reed: Willie Nelson and Motörhead.

Appropriate song for the Penn State University scandal soundtrack: "Say it ain't so, Joe" (Re: Joe Paterno)

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

Next question

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 23:51:00 +0000

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."
- Mr. Garrison, South Park

It may sound harsh. But it's also very true. For instance, take the following question: "How much do you weight?"

Right off the bat, it sounds like a reasonable question when asked by a doctor to a patient. The same question could be asked to a male, or even a female, athlete for statistical purposes.

In the wrong situation, a normal question asked with poor judgment (by a moron) could drastically become a tragedy. For instance, if a guy asks an slightly overweight woman "How much do you weight?", on a first date, with a face that says "This is a test that you might fail", that could be classified as screwy. Or if a guest at a wedding would ask the bride, while dancing with her, "Geez, how much do you weight?", you would have to agree with Mr. Garrison's theory on this one too.

It's not the question. Therefore, it has to be the (stupid) people.

"How do you feel?". Sounds like a nice question. It could be great to ask your significant other "How do you feel, sweetie?". They same question could very well be asked to a colleague who comes back to work after a prolonged stay at the hospital.

However, the wide world of sports offers plenty of examples proving Mr. Garrison right when reporters ask the same question: "How do you feel?". Someone has to do something in order to prevent (stupid and desperate) sports reporters from repetitively asking that question.

My immediate reaction as a sports fan is "What a lazy and pointless question" (and many other words before, in between and after that I don't need to put here to make my point).

If the question is asked to athletes or coaches after a defeat, or even worse, after a terrible lopsided blowout defeat, I'm no rocket scientist, but I can tell you exactly how they feel. They feel like shit. They are angry. They are devastated. They are sad. They feel like they've been ran over by a steamroller. There is no point in asking them that question.

Asking athletes and coaches "How do you feel?" in those situations is an easy short cut to bad and irresponsible journalism. It's like showing live images of a sunny day and asking a meteorologist "according to your expertise, is it raining?". Isn't it obvious enough?

Duh! What answer did the reporter expected in that case? "I felt good about the fans cheering as I was being pulled out. Never felt better. As a matter of fact, it was a milestone in my career. A dream come true". It's like shoving your dog's muzzle in its own vomit to make it understand it was sick (the dog knows...and so do the athletes and coaches). This is not journalism. It's humiliation. It's making the new instead of reporting it.

I can hear sports reporters barking at me "What do you want us to ask them, smart ass?". Well, have you ever thought of not doing those (stupid and useless) on-the-spur-of-the-moment interviews? You are predictable as sunset. You are boring. And sports are enjoyable to watch (as a true unscripted reality show!!!). But, all in all, they're not that important when you don't take them out of their context. In other words, there's no need to over analyze them like WWI & WWII or the JFK assassination. Just watching sports does the job.

Or, how about when a reporter asks a coach, either after a quarter (basketball), a period (hockey) or at halftime (soccer or American football), whose team is losing the game, what's his plan or strategy for the rest of the game. To all those reporters, as a sports fan, although I'm not an expert, I think I can answer once and for all that (stupid) question:

1- We'll try to stop the other team from scoring; and
2- We'll try to score more goals or points than the other team.

The coach won't reveal his specific strategy. Therefore, the answer I provided is the only answer the reporter will get. Or maybe he or she could get this answer:

You just gotta love that guy! Completely incomprehensible but you know it comes straight from the heart.

I was wondering how we could have a revenge on them. Simple. After one of the above mentioned reporters had a poor sexual performance in bed with the significant other, I would surprise him or her and come straight from under the bed with a live microphone and ask bluntly "How do you feel? How do you plan to rebound from such a disastrous and deceiving performance? Do you think it's the result from a lack of effort or it's the direct consequence of your lack of athletic abilities? Or both".

But I have something even better in store. For every dumb reporter, the answer should be a Bob Knight (the punch is at the end of the clip).

That was dumb...and dumber. He deserved a Bob Knight.

But to all the you sports reporters out there, don't worry about it. Cheer yourselves up. We enjoy your annual Super Bowl Stupid Questions, such as "How long have you been a black quarterback?" asked to Doug Williams, the Washington Redskins quarterback in 1988 that also happened to be black. The reply by Williams was brilliant and priceless "I've been a quarterback since high school. I've always been black."

One other thing that might cheer sports reporters (that ask stupid questions) would be that you are not the only ones to do so. Political reporters, political "experts" and pundits like Glenn Beck do too.

Here's my stupid question of the week: What color would a smurf turn if you choked it? (Can I hear you ask "Why would anyone want to choke it?").

Well, it's the end of this blog article. I have only one more (stupid) question for you: "How do you feel?".

THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The clue…A Frank Sinatra song: When I was _____teen.

Clever song lyrics Part I: "Growing up it all seems so one-sided. Opinions all provided. The future pre-decided." - Song: Subdivisions - Artist: Rush.

Clever song lyrics Part II: "But the suburbs have no charms to soothe the restless dreams of youth." - Song: Subdivisions - Artist: Rush.

Cheesy song lyrics: "And I know that it must be the woman in you that brings out the man in me." - Song: Feels Like The First Time - Artist: Foreigner.

Signs you have to run for your life : While walking on a sidewalk, a white Econoline-type van stops besides you. The side door of the truck slides open. Inside, there’s a half dozen of black dressed and hooded men.

Things you can’t scream before a plane takes off : “Oh! No!...We’re all gonna die!!!!”.

New term to describe how Tony La Russa managed his bullpen during the World Series: The Russa Roulette.

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

Every day Hell-oween

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 23:57:00 +0000

This week, I will stay off politics. So, instead of disgusting you, I will try to scare you. It's our Halloween special, Modern Circus style.

People love reality shows because they have the impression that it is real. Nowadays, we all know that most of them are scripted. At the very least, they're either staged or provoked by third parties...which are themselves, scripted.

But how would you feel if something straight out of the movies happened to you without notice? How would you feel if you became the hero (or victim!!) of a horror story writing itself as it occurs? It's all fun and games when you watch it on television. Living vicariously makes everyone a brave know-it-all hero. But if you became the one calling the shots, would you know what to do? Would you be a hero or a zero?

Let's say that you go to the mall. You want to buy a pair of slackers or maybe a Shamwow at the "As seen on TV" store. Then, the plan would lead you to the food court for a burrito or a two-scoops cone of ice cream. As you enter the mall, you smile like a child, knowing you are only a few minutes away from a double scoop of triple fudge and caramel ice cream when suddenly you feel something coming behind you. Is it a young boy running and not looking he's going? Or a policeman running to catch a shoplifter? As you turn around, holding the entrance door, you feel that something is just not right. Your brain finds it almost impossible to compute.

Horses are running towards you. And do you want to know why? A 300 pounds Bengal tiger is chasing them, soon followed by three leopards and one large grizzly bear. No it's not Jumanji. This is not taken from a movie. It's not fiction either. It happened for real, on October 18, 2011, in the woods surrounding the city of Zanesville, Ohio. A total of 56 exotic (and dangerous) animals were released from a local farm by its owner, who according to the latest news, committed suicide right after he freed them.

Schools were closed (thank God!!). Most of the residents stayed home, as the local authorities, none of them equipped with tranquilizer guns, hunted lions, tigers, leopards and grizzly bears (in Ohio...of all places!).

Of the 56 animals, 49 were killed (18 tigers, 17 lions, 6 black bears, 2 grizzly bears, 3 mountain lions, 2 wolves and 1 baboon). Those captured alive were taken to a local zoo. I guess that the Modern Circus wouldn't be a real circus without animals.

But just imagine the scene. You drive on the Interstate and suddenly, you have to hit the brakes to yield the way to a giraffe. By the way, just a question like that...Where do you buy lions, tigers, leopards, grizzly bears and baboons? Do you buy them on eBay? FedEx delivers them to you? But seriously, is it legal to own them?

But let's say, for the sake of argument, that you make it safely to the shopping mall. The ice cream seems a little further than before, all of the sudden. As you walk through the mall, you have again this strange feeling that something is coming behind you. As you turn around, your brain finds it almost impossible to compute...you see a woman rushing towards you with not one, not two, not even three, but four knives. And in a flash of the blade (no pun intended), you get stabbed repeatedly. Farfetched, you say? Too much Hollywood? Well hold your horses before you rush to conclusions. It really happened.

On May 25, 2005, a woman armed with 4 knives entered a shopping mall in Bethesda, near Washington D.C., and randomly attacked shoppers.

But let's say, for the sake of argument, that you made it safely out of the shopping mall. You ate your ice cream. You got your Shamwow. You decide to walk the streets of your city, you know, just to relax, when suddenly you are attacked by...mopeds!!!

Mopeds???

I promised I wouldn't tackle politics. But if you had to choose your poison, what would you choose? Bengal tigers, crazy person with knives or mopeds?

Although life is not easy, and in a blink of an eye it can become tragic and life threatening, we have to live our lives. If we stay home, isolated and scared, we are already dead. I believe that when your time has come, you will die, no matter what you do. In the meantime, might as well make the best of it. Live it as if it was your last day on this rock...because, it just might be!

Rule #1 of survival in this Modern Circus: Hope for the best, expect the worst.

And remember, it's all fun and games until someone steals your jersey...

I'm a huge New England Patriots fan. And it always hurts to see a favourite player, namely Rob Gronkowski, being attacked and having his Jersey taken away by a reckless thief. And don't be fooled by the size of the blond thief!! She must have tremendous powers to manage to take away the jersey from the 6'6 265 lbs Pats tight end. The blond burglar, Bibi Jones, is known to be a multi-tasker (Re: porn star) that has a specific talent to find the Achilles' heel in every sports' Trojans (no pun intended!). In this case, the weak spot is not a soft spot...So children, don't wear a Patriots uniform on Halloween. But if you have to, beware of petite blonds (unless you are a Dad and that's what you are exactly looking for!!).

But seriously, we are ways away from Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen...

Happy Halloween to all the kids...and all the kids at heart!!!

THE HODGEPODGE

This week’s lucky number: The clue…The _________ Wonders of the World.

Clever song lyrics: "I can't complain, but sometimes I still do." - Song: Life's been good - Artist: Joe Walsh.

Cheesy song lyrics: "You pulled the trigger of my love gun" - Song: Love gun - Artist: Kiss.

Bold Halloween costume: Black man that wears a Hitler costume with the short mustache screaming "Nine! Nine! Nine!" (Name of the costume: Herman Cain and his 9-9-9 plan).

Bad Halloween candy: Apples. Message to people giving apples: They're not candy!!!

What should happen to people giving apples instead of candy: Their Halloween pumpkins ought to be frantically stabbed with grapefruit spoons.

Quote of the week #1: “Are you disguised as a prostitute? Oh...you are not disguised...” – Anonymous shopping for a slap in the face.

Quote of the week #2: “Are you disguised as a pregnant woman? Oh...you are not disguised...Are you pregnant? Not pregnant either...oops!” – Anonymous shopping for a six pack of slaps in the face.

New name for the Texas Rangers (MLB baseball): The Texas Bills.

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

Flash occupations...a flash in the pan?

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 23:42:00 +0000

Here's a scenario for a movie. Invaders from outer space land in every major cities around the world. The President of the United States (let's say actor Morgan Freeman...to keep it completely fictional!!) tries to make contact with them. Not being able to identify their leader(s) (the Space Invaders all seem very different), he starts to chat with the first one he encounters.

President of the United States: Who is your leader? Your chief? Your commander?

Space Invader: We have none (for the sake of argument, let's pretend he speaks English!).

President of the United States: Why are you here?

Space Invader: We don't know.

President of the United States: What do you want?

Space Invader: We don't know.

After a few days, the President and the rest of the world simply abandon and go back to their activities while the Drama Queen Media tries by all means to scare us by speculating that the Space Invaders are here to annihilate us.

My scenario would be utterly rejected by Hollywood studios because it's boring and pointless (and because there is no sexy female star in it). Maybe I would have a chance to sell it to Bollywood studios (India). However, to do so, I would have to agree to a compromise: the Space Invaders would end up dancing altogether at the end of the movie.

Well, people occupying Wall Street (and Boston, Chicago, L.A., Denver and Seattle), more often than not, sound like the Space Invaders in my scenario.

And don't get me wrong, I'm on their side, completely. Nevertheless, we wouldn't want such a beautiful phenomenon to become a wet blanket.

Everything seems perfect. The flash crowd. The peaceful occupation. The contagious spread around the country, and maybe around the world (there were signs of occupation in Montreal, Canada, too).

The problem? No leader. No central cause(s). No official demands. No concrete or pragmatic solution(s) offered (as opposed to wishful, ideal and fairy tail solutions).

In Syria, Lybia, Egypt, Tunisia, etc., the flash crowds had a very clear message. There was a consensus: "This crazy lunatic dictator has to go...NOW...and we are willing to die

for it!!".

What worries me is that in the case of Wall Street and Co, the message isn't clear. And since the Drama Queen Media has the attention span of a 8 year old with an Attention Deficit Disorder, you have to get the message across before they start ignoring you. In a world where you can't usually repeat as The Flavour of the Day (and if lucky, The Flavor of the Week), you have to say it while you can.

Remember the 7.0 magnitude earthquake in Haiti? The Drama Queen Media focused on it. It was The Flavor of the Month (very rare phenomenon). And it was all good too. They desperately needed the attention and the help. However, a month and a half later, Chile suffered an 8.8 magnitude earthquake. Almost no one gave a damn. I guess the public was fed up with earthquakes. They wanted something else. Too bad for Chile...

That is why I'm worried. Are we wasting a joker too soon? Maybe occupants are not organized sufficiently to act now. At least, getting a leader or a spokesperson would help to protect their image when talking to ill intentioned journalists.

Please watch the next clip, more precisely at 1:14.

Well, Erin Burnett, by interviewing a single occupant, that sounded less informed, and by only showing the "marginally colourful" occupants, you are not making your point. You are only proving to the world that you practice Yellow Journalism. You had an agenda. You are a cocky, condescending and intellectually dishonest journalist, Seriously! You should be ashamed of yourself. And it gives you an idea of the direction CNN wants to take. Erin Burnett would fit right in with the Glenn Beck's, Rush Limbaugh's and Bill O'Reilly's.

Moreover, we wouldn't want our only significant souvenir from the flash occupations to be the Hot Chicks of Occupy Wall Street:

Am I surprised that Republicans and others from the Right said that "The Wall Street occupants are just a bunch of braless, tofu eating, long hair, weird and bearded hippies"? Of course not. But I'm just surprised they don't all agree when it comes down to the disappearance of the middle class. I'm sure there's a lot of Republicans in that segment of the population. It's not about partisanship. Hell, Erin Burnett should worry about it too...when her show gets cancelled!

All of that to say that a leader (like Michael Moore?) or a spokesperson would present arguments to the Erin Burnett's of the world to preserve the good image and the legitimacy of the protest to the eyes of the world. Maybe not a clear plan...but at least clear demands and suggestions of solutions. I agree that there should not be rules for the occupants except maybe to stay peaceful. We wouldn't want the occupants to turn like fans of sports teams celebrating in the streets, after winning a championship, only to see their moment ruined by a handful of morons and jerkoffs thrashing cars and looting stores.

What now? Well let's just say that the jury is still out on that one. As long as the Governments of the world understand that Wall Street, Banks and Mega Corporations need to stay out of the Governments. People need to prevent them from being Reversed Robin Hoods: taking money from to poor to give it to the rich (See the Mortgage Crisis). Somehow, people need to stop them from dissolving the Middle Class, preserving a balance of the distribution of the wealth (and power) so that the system doesn't collapse again.

Banks tried to make us believe that they helped us. In the end, they only provided us with a rope, with a noose, leaving us no choice but to hang ourselves, resulting into a Mortgage Crisis, a recession.

In the meantime, the Modern Circus is as crazy as ever. In the light of this mess, I've decided to trade my car for a flying saucer. I'm pretty sure I will blend right in...(to be continued).

This week’s lucky number: The clue…Snow White and the ______ Dwarfs.

Note to self: Riding my flying saucer will make me avoid traffic.

Note to self #2: Riding my flying saucer too high will definitely increase my chances of hitting a lamp post, transmission tower or electric pylon.

Wise words: “If God doesn’t like the way I live, let him tell me, not you.” - To religious representatives knocking on our door on a Saturday morning.

Wise words #2: “Never insult an alligator until you’ve crossed the river.”

Suggestions for new sports worth watching: Full Contact Golf, with no holds barred rules (in other words, players could use their irons or woods to hit something else than a golf ball).

Bad name for a rock group for Wall Street cafés and restaurants (in which occupants used the restrooms): Spray & Spread.

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

Like falling dominoes

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:59:00 +0000

I don't know about you, but usually, when I hear a politician speak, I only hear this:

The only difference between the baby girl in the video and politicians is that the baby is funny (and the politicians are utterly boring). But the language is basically the same.

Being a politician has become mainly a poll job...ooops! That didn't sound right (even if there is some truth to it). Let me rephrase that. Being a politician has mainly become a job based on poll results. Boring, inefficient with enormous (negative) economic consequences. No discrimination here. Whatever is the political allegiance, it's all the same blah! blah! blah!.

Exceptionally this week, a quote burned my ears. For once, it was not blah! blah! blah! The quote came from Herman Cain, American businessman, syndicated columnist and a candidate for the Republican Presidential nomination in 2012. Cain candidly declared, word for word, during a television interview that "It's Your Own Fault if You Don't Have a Job! In other words: It's not the economy, stupid, it's YOU!"

I don't want to go in the specifics of that statement in this blog. It would be boring and I don't have another second to waste on that (insensible and ignorant) individual. Let's just say that I strongly disagree.

The question is: Can we really count on politicians to change the world? Our World. Can we count on them to make it better? Of course not. They make moves to please only some people (mostly those who contribute to their political campaigns).

Here's how I think people can change the world. Or maybe "should change the world" would be more accurate: Take ideas and act upon them (Can you hear politicians in the background ask "how do we do that, act? Can't we just talk about the ideas?).

Examples.

Back in 2006, an American teenage girl and her father, a journalist, were on spring break in Venice, Italy. While the daughter was on a shopping spree, the father headed back to the hotel room. He stumbled upon a BBC documentary on children of Africa dying of malaria. Make that 3,000 children per day (you read that right...per day!). It also mentioned that if the children would just sleep under a mosquito bed net, they would be almost entirely protected from malaria. That net only costs $10. Not that much to save one life. Nevertheless, those children died every day because they didn't have nets.

That man had an idea and acted upon it. On May 1, 2006, he wrote a column about it in a Sports Magazine you might have heard of before (Sports Illustrated). That man is Rick Reilly. That day, maybe without realizing it at the time, he changed the world. He also happened to save lives. Then there was some sort of chain reaction and the whole thing snowballed into a World Wide campaign. To make a long story short, NothingButNets.net has distributed almost 4.25 million mosquito bed nets. In other words, the charitable organization has raised almost $42.5 million for the cause.

Can you just imagine for a second a government trying to help African children dying of malaria? First there would be a study or commission or any other bullcrap meeting of politicians that would cost about 40 million dollars. The result of the study would be: Africa needs mosquito bed nets (what we already knew!!). The cost of the study would leave us with a tiny budget of $2.5 million to buy the nets. The government would send only 25,000 nets to Africa (because of the $2.25 million for the travelling expenses of the politicians sent in Africa to have pictures taken with dying African children and for the ads on tv to show the goddamn pictures).

More NothingButNets.net, less government. And what about examples that would help the economy? Or if you prefer, what about job creation?

Two high school outcasts that became college dropouts in the mid 70's. They identified the need to produce print-outs, labels and databases, in a world that was lead by typeriters. They combined genius with creativity in...a garage. And with the help of a $20 Central Processing Unit (CPU), produced by MOS Technology, they assembled their first personal computer. With the exception of the parents that lent the garage, and maybe the first store that sold their first product, not many believed in their bold project.

The company, as Forrest Gump would refer to it as "some kind of fruit company", is Apple Inc. The founders: Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs. Yes jobs. Apple Inc. employs almost 50,000 persons. Real jobs from a real Jobs. Not bad for a fruit company.

Never underestimate the power of the geek or outcast with a dream, a goal...an obsession. He or she will not exclusively talk about the idea (remember politicians? blah! blah! blah!...shouting make believe numbers like an auctioneer). The geek will do something about it.

Invest in people, not in politicians (yes, you've read that right...politicians are excluded from the first group!).

I believe that ideas lead to other ideas, like falling dominoes. And if someone takes that idea and acts upon it, that idea could change the world. According to the the Chaos Theory, more precisely, the Butterfly Effect, the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil could set off a tornado in Texas. In other words, a slight change in the conditions of a system could provoke a chain of events leading to out of proportions results.

Consequently, a reader of this modest blog could have an idea, act upon it, and maybe inspire other persons to have ideas on their own...and ultimately change the world. And I like to believe that this is the only efficient way that you and me can change the world. Like falling dominoes.

A big shoutout to Lana Leclerc for her work on the new graphics for this blog. Thanks for everything you've done and most of all, thank you for supporting this blog from the very beginning.

This week’s lucky number: The clue…a movie directed by David Fincher starring Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey.

Note to self: Always check your pant's pockets for tissues before putting them in a washing machine.

Note to self #2: Sometimes patience is not a virtue...it is a waste of time.

Indirect way to disagree: “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

Mixing up numbers: “He had 3 children with 4 different women”.

Bad pick-up line: I think I've dated your mom. How is the ferocious cougar?

Bad name for a rock group in Milwaukee: Prince (Fielder) and The Devolution.

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

A quick buck in a tiny little classified ad

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 00:25:00 +0000

The death of the co-founder chairman and CEO of Apple Inc., Steve Jobs, overshadowed the death of Don Lapre this week. And when we think about Steve Jobs, creative, innovative, bold, classy and intelligent immediately come to mind. Legacy, hard work and generosity are also words that transpired throughout Jobs' Apple Inc. epic business adventure.

And as if it wasn't enough, Lapre's death was overshadowed twice. I just learned, before posting this, that the renegade owner of the Oakland Raiders (NFL - American Football), Al Davis, just died at the age of 82. "Just win, baby!" as Al would say with a big smirk across his face. He won three Superbowls as an owner. And when we think about Al Davis, besides determination and passion, craziness, lunacy, dementia and stubbornness come to mind.

But when I think about the young man (47 years old) that died during the last week, Don Lapre, only questions pop into my mind.

Remember this guy? (he appears at 0:04)

I remember those ads that were on most TV channels, after dark, during the small hours. There was him, Don Lapre, and Anthony Robbins, astrology and mind-reading ladies, and dating services (making people believe that the woman they were about to call was a young model...hungry for them!).

Don Lapre would stick it right down your throat for an hour or so...Tiny little Classified ads and 900 telephone numbers...How to make [quick] money.

Hugh Hefner, the founder of Playboy Magazine, since 1953, has tried to teach us what is the Playboy way of life. The women, the toys (boats, cars, etc.), where to hang out (the clubs, the restaurants, etc.) and how to act cool. But the only man in the world that had the time and the money to live the Playboy way of life was probably Hugh Hefner.

Well, you know what? Don Lapre was the only one making money with his method. He knew about a fourth way to make money. And it was the only one that would work, so he wouldn't tell you about it. And what was that miraculous money maker? Simple. Selling How to Make Money packages to people that had no life, stayed up late (I'm guilty of that one) and believed that they would meet a supermodel by calling a dating service (uh!...not guilty of that one though!).

Just imagine the poor guy with no job, no self esteem, no experience in business, placing tiny little ads in newspapers and not making a profit. Worse than that: losing money he doesn't have (because he borrowed it!!). Or, the poor guy signing a contract with a phone company for a 900 telephone number for a service that may or may not work, probably with an overhead that would eat the cash flow of his business in no time.

Don Lapre knew all about that. He had the key which was selling dreams to suckers. That could have been the title of the first part of his biography: Selling dreams to suckers.

But the second part of Don Lapre's biography would have to be different (probably Greed). You see, Don was getting greedy. Like the taste of blood to a rat, Don wanted more and more money. I guess suckers had a limited budget. And he had competition. On top of the other junk sellers on the infomercials, there was Who wants to be a millionaire?, American Idol and all the others TV shows, not only selling the American Dream, but also selling the Instant American Dream. One day you work at MacDonald's, the next day you are recording artist and singing in front of sold-out venues around the world. From rags to riches, as Tony Bennett would sing.

So Don Lapre tried to penetrate a new lucrative market: vitamins. Nothing but the best for Don. He started to sell "The Greatest Vitamin in the World". Maybe it was. Nevertheless, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration strongly disagreed. There was a lot of investigation going on. To make a long story short, Lapre was accused of screwing roughly more that 200,000 people out of more than $52,000,000 with "The Greatest Vitamin in the World".

All in all, he was facing 41 counts of conspiracy, mail fraud, wire fraud, and promotional money laundering related to his e-commerce. He failed to appear in court to face those charges and was arrested on June 24, 2011. Before his arrest, he tried to commit suicide, but failed. However, two days before the beginning of his trial, scheduled to start October 4, 2011, it appears that he finally succeeded in ending his own life.

There is no surprise that the deaths of Steve Jobs and Al Davis completely overshadowed Don Lapre's death. The same thing will happen with their respective legacies.

Nonetheless, Lapre teached us two valuable lessons: There is no such a thing as an easy quick buck and greed is really one of the three Hell's Gates (the other two would be lust and anger). When it sounds too good to be true...it usually is!

And you know what's ironic about it? Don Lapre finished his days on earth in a tiny little ad...in the obituaries.

New Character(s) brought to this Blog: None.

This week’s lucky number: sedem (in Slovak).

Note to self #1: Write on my Facebook page "I am writing on my Facebook page".

Note to self #2: Reply on my Facebook page "I am such a moron for writing on my Facebook page that I am writing on my Facebook page".

Note to self #3: Click on "like" button for both messages.

Quote of the week: "I never apologize. I’m sorry, but it's just the way I am." - Anonymous in denial

Funny sign: “Procrastinators will meet tomorrow”

Bad jokes when you are in presence of New York Yankees fans: “What is an ARod cocktail? An overpriced drink that expires before October.”

Bad pick-up line: You must be tired because you’ve been running through my head all night.

Bad name for a Republican rock group: The Non Runnin' Palins

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

Gay soldiers unhappy

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 01:23:00 +0000

I’ve always had mixed feelings about American patriotism. I’ve always admired it. At the same time, I’ve always been a little jealous of it.

However, sometimes it’s just too much and it gets on your nerves. Fortunately, it’s only a minority that exaggerates. For example, when you are in a beach resort, everybody is waiting in line for a drink and someone in the back says “But we are American!” (true story!!).

One aspect of American patriotism I admire is the support for the troops. My position on the war in Iraq and Afghanistan has always been clear: waste of time, money and most importantly, waste of lives. But if there is a war, you have to support soldiers fighting for your country.

When I think about soldiers, I see a uniform. Nowadays, I don’t necessarily see a man. I don’t see a particular ethnic group either. As it turns out, my opinion sounds more progressive than I thought.

This is an excerpt of the GOP Presidential debate held last week, in Orlando:

Since it was held in front of a Republican crowd, we would be in our right minds to presume that the people that booed were Republicans. When I first heard this on the news, I just couldn’t believe my own ears. I had to verify it on different news sources.

Let me get this straight (no pun intended!!). Republicans should change the “Support Our Troops” Magnets on their cars for “Support Our Troops...except the fag soldiers”. What is this? What’s next? Catholic Americans booing Muslim American Soldiers? Brunette females booing blond female soldiers? Red Sox fans booing soldiers supporting the Yankees?

I’m a heterosexual male. I have friends that are gay that I see every week. They know I’m heterosexual. I know they’re gay. If they didn’t know, and if one of them would try to make a move on me, I would just kindly and diplomatically tell them that I’m heterosexual. To me, there is absolutely no difference between telling a gay man that I’m not interested than telling a woman I’m not interested (not that they get in line to throw themselves at me either...).

Why are the Republicans so homophobic? They’ll tell you the Bible-Jesus-God argument. We all know this is bullshit and that it goes way deeper than that.

Rick Santorum, who runs for the Republican nomination for President of the United States in the 2012 presidential election, says, right after the boos, that "Sexual activity has no place in the military." Sexual activity? I thought we were talking about sexual orientation. So, does Santorum suggest that being part the military imposes a solemn vow of chastity? Really? And you know what really is ironic? Rick Santorum family name is also a word. The definition of a santorum is: a frothy mixture of lubricant and fecal matter as an occasional byproduct of anal sex (I am not making this up!). Maybe Rick Santorum knows more about it than we thought...

So if we go deeper (no pun intended!!), what would explain the animosity of Republicans towards the gay community?

Examples?

LarryCraig, a former Republican politician that represented Idaho's first district in the U.S. House of representatives for 10 years and that served 18 years in the U.S. Senate. Craig namely voted for a proposed constitutional amendment banning gay marriage and against a bill prohibiting employment discrimination based on sexual orientation. Ironically, in 2007, Craig was arrested at the Minneapolis International Airport on suspicion of lewd conduct in a men's restroom. He was accused of soliciting a male undercover cop for sexual activity.

Wait...it gets more slippery...

Mark Foley, another former Republican politician that represented 16th District of Florida in the U.S. House of representatives for 11 years. Foley voted against a proposed constitutional amendment to ban legal recognition of gay marriage. He also voted for a bill that would have banned gays from adopting children in Washington D.C. Despite all of this, in 2006, Foley had sent suggestive emails and sexually explicit instant messages to teenage men who worked or were still working for Congress as pages. Funny note, Foley was one of the foremost opponents of child pornography.

And how about Bob Allen? Here is another Republican member of the Florida House of Representatives, for 7 years, representing Florida's 32nd district. Allen, like the other two, has a record of voting for anti-gay legislation. Nevertheless, in 2007 he was arrested for offering $20 to perform fellatio on an undercover male police officer.

A last quicky? Glenn Murphy Jr, former Chair of the Young Republicans National Federation. A young man staying at the home of Murphy’s sister was asleep when he woke up to find Murphy performing oral sex on him. Brutal wake-up call…

What do we make out all of this? The Republican Party has a significant gay wing that is strongly opposed to marriage but in favour of secret swinging and adventures? Or Republicans have a 3 steps program to come out of the closet:

1- Gay bashing;

2- Political suicide (or getting caught in a scandal); and

3- Coming out (voluntarily or…not).

Preaching loudmouths that don’t practice what they preach…let me think...I wonder what they remind me of…(See Catholic Priests from the USA, Canada, Ireland and Belgium).

Gentlemen of the Republican Party, if your Gaydar is buzzing too loudly, maybe it’s because you are standing too close to it.

New Character(s) brought to this Blog: The Republican Party Gay Wing.

This week’s lucky number: The clue…Mickey Mantle, David Beckham (Manchester United), John Elway and Phil Esposito’s respective jersey numbers.

Personal message: To the guy in the car behind me, honking like crazy: “Maybe I drive slower than you, but I’m still ahead of you!!!”

Note to self: Keep driving slow: you are about to lose your driving license because of an impressive collection of speeding tickets.

Quote of the week: “Love can be magic, but magic sometimes is…just an illusion!!” – An anonymous cuckold

Bad jokes when you are at the customs: “Do I carry any weapons? I refuse to answer this question. I’m taking the 5th [amendment] on that one".

Bad pick-up line: You must have been beautiful, you know, when you were young.

Bad names for rock groups from Boston: New England Clam Chokers, The Red Sucks, The Red Bruins and, The Big Flappy.

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

The hypocrisy of the asterisk and the bleep

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 00:08:00 +0000

I don’t know about you, but when I hit my thumb with a hammer, “Kelly Clarkson” is not the first thing that comes to mind. Neither does the expression “paper bag” (a suggestion that was made to me by an ex-mother-in-law to, you know...replace my swearing).

Needless to say, it wouldn’t be the first thing I would scream either. As a matter of fact, I can think of at least of a hundred things that would come first. Among them, more precisely, in the top 20, you would find most of the original Seven Words you can’t say on television, from the late George Carlin’s classic routine: Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits.

Although piss and tits seem to be more accepted on television nowadays (anyways, when I hit my thumb with a hammer, I’ve never cried piss or tits), the rest is to this day pretty much taboo.

But would people be less offended if wrote : Sh*t, P*ss, F*ck, C*nt, C*cksucker, Motherf*cker and T*ts. It seems that The Drama Queen Media thinks it’s less offensive. Or how about when they blur the middle finger of someone giving the finger on tv? Do they think we are too stupid to figure out that blur hides a finger?

Let me get this straight. Everyone knows it’s a finger. So why should I be less offended by not actually seeing it? I’ve seen a finger before.

You know why? That’s bulls*t! (Yeah! I know. Easy one...). Movin’ on...

So we have the asterisks for the written words, the blur for the images...but how about the sound? Well, there’s something for that too: the bleep!!

Here’s a realistic example (be patient, it really starts at 0:07):

But seriously. Every time we hear the bleep, we instantly know it’s a “bad” word. Why hide it? It’s not as if we can’t handle the difference between fuck and shit. Or between fuck you and fuck off? Either way, we get the drift: there’s a disagreement. And if we hear bleep!! bleep!! bleep!! bleep!!...we’re pretty sure it’s not “Kel-ly-Clack-son”.

It’s all about conventions and cultures anyways. Some people chose fuck as a filthy word a long time ago. It doesn’t mean as much in other languages. French Canadians use names of objects from the Catholic Church as swearing words. People from France don’t relate to it at all, although they speak the same language.

Oh! But what if CHILDREN heard that? They wouldn't be scarred for life, would they? Well there are no bleeps for parents. I hear parents dropping f-bombs in front of their children every day. There are no bleeps for a drunken homeless man telling me, in so many (precise) words, how much he doesn’t like me, in front of my son (true story). There are no bleeps for adults arguing about “rules of courtesy” in rush hour traffic.

It’s part of our lives. We can be hypocrites about it and hide our heads in the sand. You can bleep it all you want but our children are bound to hear it daily. And since it’s forbidden for them to swear, it becomes a lot more attractive as they grow older. Forbidden things are sexy to humans. Just ask Adam and Eve about the forbidden fruit.

Why not censor the realistic violence on the news? Or the hip hop videos where you see men treat women like objects (or if you prefer, garbage). Or MMA fights?

Or how about censoring “philosophers” and “prophets” (being sarcastic) that have huge ratings in the US of A and that say, freely, unique “gems” like:

"I just wish Katrina had only hit the United Nations building, nothing else, just had flooded them out, and I wouldn't have rescued them." – Bill O’Reilly, radio and tv host
"Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society." - Rush Limbaugh, talk radio host
"I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. ... No, I think I could.” – Glenn Beck, radio and tv host
"The only [Katrina victims] we're seeing on television are the scumbags." – Glenn Beck, radio and tv host
"Blowing up Iran. I say we nuke the bastards. In fact, it doesn't have to be Iran, it can be everywhere, anyplace that disagrees with me." - Glenn Beck, radio and tv host

Glenn Beck has to be our favourite clown of the Modern Circus. If Beck was a movie villain, people would say Hollywood exaggerated again.

I don’t know about you, but I would prefer my son to listen to a stand-up comedian swearing once in a while than him listening to Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly or Rush Limbaugh. At least, the comedian makes you laugh.

I’m all for free speech. But why do we always focus on the small insignificant things? If you don’t agree with me, every time you hit your little toe on a table leg, try to scream “paper bag” or “jeepers” and drop me an e-mail.

Oh! Yeah! By the way, here’s the following scene after the “Kelly Clarkson” cry:

I knew it. Kelly Clarkson is just not enough. And just imagine the colourful would be weather reports with Dusty Sunshine, The Weatherman: “Tomorrow, it’s gonna fuckin’ pour, baby. We’re talking fuckin’ dogs here…and all the shit”.

New Character(s) brought to this Blog: Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh as the Straightjacket Models Trio.

This week’s lucky number: Big surprise this week. The lucky number is fffffffffffffffffffooled ya! It’s 7 again.

Personal message: To the guy with a comb over: “Are you trying to pull up your back hair too?”.

To do: rest (and if lucky, sleep more).

Bad jokes when you are at the customs: “Do I carry any weapons? No. Do you know a place where I can get some?”

Bad name for a rock band: Neil and Michaele’s Journey (if you don’t get it, Google the three names altogether)

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

Reality...really?

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 00:41:00 +0000

This morning, I was eating my All-Bran Flakes while reading the Nutrition Facts (110 calories per cup, but 160 calories with ½ cup of 1% milk!!). And I was wondering: what if they made a reality show about me. Just imagine: brushing my teeth, taking a shower, eating the All-Brans, drinking the juice, cleaning the dishes, writing my blog (for an hour at least!!), going to the supermarket, emptying the bags at home (wondering where I put the strawberry jam), looking for the strawberry jam, desperately looking for the strawberry jam in the car, mentally blaming the kid working at the supermarket for losing the strawberry jam, watching college football on television, dosing off while the game gets interesting, etc.

One word: exciting. I’m sure one would pay good money to watch an hour of that, right?

No wonder reality shows are scripted (SPOILER ALLERT!!). Otherwise, why would anybody watch them. Let’s face it. Our lives are boring...to watch on tv.

Message to friends: It applies also to telling the world on Facebook that you are washing your underwear or on Twitter that you just folded the said underwear. Is that a way to say that we would like to be stars of a show too? Maybe. Nevertheless, I don’t believe that we would like our lives to become public either. Celebrity is overrated because there is no switch “off” to it. For better or for worse.

So who or what do we have to be to get on a reality show? A washed up rock star? An ex-stripper or barfly, finding a way to get attention? A “Snookie”?

Beautiful or good looking? Probably. Either that or mean and hateable (the Dallas’ J.R. factor). Talented? Absolutely not! (See Paris Hilton, The Kardashians, Flavor Flav, etc.).

But I feel that a new trend of reality tv has already begun. You know, the kind you get sucked in, without consent. The Drama Queen Media loves that.

For example, the Anthony Weiner scandal. Remember him? He gets caught sending pictures of his crotch to a college student in Seattle (and many other women), via his Twitter account. Then he lied his way to complete humiliation, namely by saying his account was hacked. He called numerous press conferences and interviews to push the lies even further. Then another woman came forward with a shirtless picture of Weiner that was sent to her. Finally, he admitted sending the pictures, but refused to resign.

All of this while he was married for less than a year, to Mrs. Huma Abedin, an aide to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (a woman that should understand her, by experience). Oh! Yes! By the way, at the time of the scandal, his wife was pregnant. If that was a movie, critics would say that the scenario is absolutely non credible and too farfetched. When reality surpasses fiction...

But there is more to it. Weiner got caught sending pictures of his wiener! How more Hollywood can this get?

Grande finale: he resigns. And, as he announces it, if you listen closely, you can hear people cheering in the background (around 0:18 seconds). You gotta be kidding me?

Hitting a man that is already down? What Anthony Weiner has done is utterly stupid. It’s immoral. But, it’s none of our business. It must have been humiliating for his wife. But us? Who are we to judge what he’s done? He didn’t commit any fraud. He didn’t steal money from people. He didn’t kill or injured anyone. He’s just an adult male, that replaced his brain with a sexual organ (happens frequently and daily), and that acted like a total bonehead. He’s guilty of covering up, of lying. But lately, denying and lying “seems” like a natural human reflex (See Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Rafael Paleiro, Bill Clinton, etc.).

But among the people that judged Weiner, I can’t believe that none of them acted like boneheads. If we follow the rule established by the late George Carlin: “There’s a few winners...and a whole lotta losers”. The only difference between Weiner’s wiener and mine is that very few care about mine. But let’s not kid ourselves. Weiner never invented sending explicit pictures to other people…not even among married men.

Truth is we laugh at the guy that slipped on a banana peel. That’s all. We watch reality TV to see people mess up, argue, fight and feel miserable. The modern way of feeling better: seeing other people fall...or fail (instead of changing our ways).

Here you go. “Knock yourselves out”, no pun intended:

Reality TV” is living vicariously. Not really living. You sit and watch others live in an aquarium...with a certainty that you would do better. Just not now. You are too busy watching.

New Character(s) brought to this Blog: none.

This week’s lucky number: (11,087 + 78) /1,595 = (yes…again!).

Personal message: To a telemarketer calling me on the phone (me speaking): “I’m sorry, I cannot help you. I will have to transfer you to my financial department”.

Quote of the week: “It’s only funny until someone gets hurt...then it gets freakin’ hilarious” – Anonymous reality tv watcher.

To do: laugh (and to be able to laugh at myself).

Bad jokes when you are at the customs: “Do I carry any weapons? No, just drugs.”

Take the money and run: Serena Williams got a $2,000 fine for her verbal abuse of an umpire, namely telling her she was “unattractive inside”, during last Sunday's U.S. Open final. Tennis officials ruled that was not a major offense. Williams earned $1.4 million at the U.S. Open. Let’s take out our calculator...the fine represents 0.14% of her earnings. For ordinary workers, that fine would be the equivalent of a few bucks.

Bad name for a cruise ship: The Bachmann (runner-up: The Gingrich).

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

Making the news on 9/11

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 01:06:00 +0000

First and foremost, our thoughts and prayers go out to...

All of the friends and families of the direct victims of the 9/11 attacks;

All of the friends and families of the indirect victims of the 9/11 attacks, namely all of the people suffering, or that died, from cancers, lung diseases and other disorders that developed as a consequence of being part of a rescue team at Ground Zero;

All of the people that survived the attacks but are still suffering from psychological damages as a result of the traumatizing experience;

To all of the Muslims that that immigrated to Canada, United-States or European countries, to leave their respective countries, for a better life, and that were subjected to racism as a direct result of the 9/11 attacks (most of them were already rightful citizens of their new countries);

And

To all of the Muslims, living in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran and Pakistan, that died or that are still suffering from the consequences of wars that took place in response to the 9/11 attacks, although they never agreed with, nor they condoned, the 9/11 attacks.

May whatever or whoever you believe in bring you peace of mind and love in your heart. As a gesture of respect and sympathy, the background picture of this blog (a picture of the Brooklyn Bridge) will be replace by a new one for our next article, on Sunday September 18, 2011.

However, even on such a sad day, the Modern Circus doesn’t take a break. No rest for the wicked. More than ever, we feel we have a duty to put the magnifying glass on the Modern Circus’ craziness that may reach a whole new level on the 10^th anniversary 9/11.

A conversation overheard at a secret media meeting…

TV Executive Producer #1: The 10^th anniversary of 9/11 will give us good ratings for a while. But people don’t like to be sad for too long. Fear!!! That’s what we need.

TV Executive Producer #2: Fear sells. But it seems we have no luck with fear lately.

Dusty Sunshine, Weatherman (sometimes filling in as a sportscaster): Forget about it (with a Jersey…”Joysey” accent). I was just in New York City, for the Irene hurricane. I was expecting the worst, you know, a gold mine for us weathermen. I was excited and anxious for Irene to arrive. I had the feeling that it would be my moment. But all the action happened in Vermont. Irene barely showed up in New York…reminding me of my Prom date. All in all, I had to stand in a puddle of water and mud pretending it was a catastrophe. People were waiting for Dusty Sunshine to save the day. All they got was a lousy wet willy. That said, the weather for tonight: partly cloudy with lows in the upper 60’s…

TV Executive Producer #1: Ok. That’s enough, Wet Willy. Shut it.

TV Executive Producer #2: What now?

TV Executive Producer #1: Well no hurricane in sight. No contagious disease. Remember when people feared to open their mail because of anthrax? Or President Bush's color-coded terror alerts…now that was ingenious! People would watch the news just to see what was going to be the color of the day.

TV Executive Producer #2: How about when people were buying gas masks in fear of a biological warfare and weapons of mass destruction? We got, on tape, a man that bought gas masks for himself and his dog. The scene was priceless.

TV Executive Producer #1: Those were the good ol’ days! Fear…where have you gone?

TV Executive Producer #2: Gotta find something tragic.

TV Executive Producer #3: Got some breaking news for you guys. A drunken moose!!

TVExecutive Producer #1: From Sweden? Old news. The moose got drunk from eating fermented apples, reached out for more fruits, slipped and got stuck in a tree. It was released from the tree, sobered up and went back into the wild. Boring. Next!

TV Executive Producer #3: Wrong! Turns out the moose had a drinking problem and was rushed to Dr. Drew’s rehab clinic in Pasadena, California. As it was entering the premises, a car smashed the front entrance of the clinic, fatally injuring the moose. Who was driving the car? Lindsay Lohan. She was drunk too. Poetic justice, I guess. Funny thing, she was chasing that woman who claimed Lohan terrorized her in a car chase, back in 2007.

TV Executive Producer #2: Alleluia!! We are saved!! Juicy…

TV Executive Producer #1: If it bleeds, it leads!! I want a picture of the moose with his mother when it was a young moose. I also want also a Swedish expert on meese, that speaks English, but with an accent…it sounds more credible. Moose is the first story. 9/11 is the third. We gotta find something better for the second spot…

TV Executive Producer #2: So who’s on second?

Dusty Sunshine, Weatherman (sometimes filling in as a sportscaster): No! No! Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third…

*Abbott and Costello rolling in their graves*

New Character(s) brought to this Blog: Dusty Sunshine, The Weatherman (sometimes filling in as a sportscaster) and TV Executive Producer #1, #2 and #3 (As members of The Drama Queen Media).

This week’s lucky number: Right in between 6 and 8 (yes…again!).

Personal message: To the guy listening to music with his headphones, that also happens to sing out loud, and completely out of tune: “Buddy, remember we don’t hear the music…only you”.

Quote of the week: “You laugh because you think I’m different, I laugh because I just farted” – Last word freak…who actually got the last word, by default.

To do: Breathe in, breathe out (just not besides the Last word freak!!!).

Bad idea for a movie: Predator vs. Alien.

Great idea for a reality show: Barbed wire steel cage tag-team no-holds-barred match: Predator, Alien, Terminator, Jason (Friday The 13), Michael (Holloween), Freddy Kruger and Bill O’Reilly (as himself…fits perfectly in the group) vs. Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and The Kardashians.

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

The art of paraphrasing and sanitizing words

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 15:38:00 +0000

We feel we are going out on a limb here. But we will. We just feel the urge to jump in!

Well, at least, we'll try...

Have we gone totally nuts? (Yes we have). Hand sanitizers are everywhere (Yep! Even there). The culture of fear has struck again. We are so afraid that we feel the obligation to sanitize, if not sterilize, everything. Even if clean sounds positive, there is a downside to it.

Hand sanitizers kill almost any and all of bacteria. This may sound good, but it’s not. There are also many dangers that come with the use hand sanitizers. Probably the worst danger is that hand sanitizers are killing the good bacteria we need to fight disease, stripping us of some of our natural defences against other infections. In other words, one day we may die of the most benign infection. Again, aiming for short term results.

And since everything has to be squeaky clean, might as well clean our language too. Let’s take out everything that sounds “offensive” out of our vocabulary. And we are not talking about racial slurs and vulgar language. We are talking about a vocabulary that was socially accepted not so long ago. Words. Conventionally conceived and accepted by a huge majority

For example, not so long ago, the word “handicapped” was used and accepted by society. Well, it turns out that it has been changed to “disabled”. Then it has morphed to “physically challenged”. And, as if it wasn’t enough, it could soon be replaced by “differently abled”. What? Really

According to the Merriam-Webster, “handicapped” means “having a physical or mental disability”. So, how do you call a black person with a minor mental handicap? A differently, more often than not, mentally abled African-American person? Or why not an insignificantly mentally challenged African-American person? What? Come again? Why not tell the nature of the disability, while we are at it?

The result: a differently, more often than not, mentally abled, namely suffering from the Dysthymia Syndrome, African-American person.

That’s what we call paraphrasing...on the verge of a curriculum vitae. And please, don’t get us wrong. We are not mocking people with disabilities. It’s all about conventions. A long time ago, a person decided that we would call a chair, a chair. We could have called it a table. But we chose otherwise. Does it mean that people with disabilities “are” their disabilities? Of course not! But to simplify our vocabulary and discussions, saying “a black mentally handicapped man” would do the job. Intelligent people would understand. Ignorant Nutcases will never know better, political correctness or not.

Is he really black? No. But we know what it means, because of conventions. We are not white either. We are sort of beige. And we are not too fond of the “Caucasian” term that sounds like a disease.

Why do we do this? To make it look squeaky clean. We just want to pretend things we don't like don't exist. It’s like make believe for adults. “No! No! He’s not handicapped...he’s differently abled”. If we were missing two legs, we would slap the person, just for saying that. The legs would still be missing, beautiful words or not. Beautiful words won’t make them grow.

So much for the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”.

And what if this spreads to other sectors of our vocabulary? For example: “we strongly suggest that you engage sexual intercourse with yourself” (Go f... yourself).

We vote in favour of applying that to new actors in our beloved Modern Circus. A very popular news subject: The financial advisor. The new politically correct term could be “self financing, with money belonging to honest and hard working people, without their consent, to play Casino, Wall Street Style, and most of the time, not returning the money, or much less, on top of taking a fee for the operation”.

How much “excrement from the male of a cow” (bullshit) can we take? We live in a difficult, cruel, violent and unjust world. Do we help our children to prepare for it adequately by sanitizing everything? Do we help them by pretending everything is fair, fine and dandy? By telling them it’s not important to win (win the race at getting a job, a client, a parking spot or, even an apartment in some crowded cities)?

You can call us red baldy. Our auburn hair is thinning. We would not be offended. We would get the drift. A little sense of humor coupled with accepting one’s situation help. And could you believe that at the same time, Ebonics and Hip Hop lingo are doing the exact opposite of political correctness. Isn’t it ironic, biatch!!

New Character(s) brought to this Blog: none.

This week’s lucky number: 3+4 = yes…7 again.

Personal message: To the woman standing in line in front of us at the supermarket cashier for 12 items or less, with at least 50 items in her shopping cart: “You will burn in hell for that”

Quote of the week: “I swear to Drunk, I’m not God!” – An anonymous guy that woke up with a headache.

To do: dedramatize any problem or situation (strip it to what it really is).

Rejected name for a song: Come on Irene (instead of Come on Eileen)

Bad choice of a rock band name: The Defective Condoms.

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

Cougars, Cheetahs, etc.

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 02:48:00 +0000

Last month, the lease on our car was up and we had to get a new one (how unfortunate). With the new car, we got three months of complimentary satellite radio (Yeah!!). For the first few weeks, we browsed through the channels frequently. We’ve made the occasional stop on the Howard Stern channels. We are not too fond of fart contests or fake boobs sweepstakes. But we can surely appreciate the interaction between Stern and Robin Quivers during the news segment. However, our comment today has nothing to do with them…It has more to do with some of the advertisements played on the Howard Stern show. That instantly reminded us of our beloved Modern Circus…or should we say, zoo.

Our first stop is www.cougarlife.com. “The premier cougar dating community” is their slogan. First thing that popped into our mind: “Now, that could be dangerous!”. Then we realized that they weren’t real cougars…

According to The Online Slang Dictionary, a cougar is “a middle-aged woman who seeks out much younger men for romance or physical intimacy”. Ok. Now that makes sense.

After all of this info, second thing that popped into our mind: “Now, that could be dangerous!”. Indeed, the word carnivore may have different meanings too.

You have to hear their jingle:

Howard Stern would scream “Yeah! Baby!”. But that is only the censored version of the commercial. The one that plays on the Stern show is more…straight to the point, no detour, in your face: replace the word “date” with “bang”. We hear that. We live in a world that runs pretty fast. Time is money. No time to date…straight to the Bang!

Movin’ on.

Or maybe you are not into cougars. Maybe you are married, or in a long term relationship, and you identify yourself as a Cheetah (We have a trademark for that word!!!). Or if you prefer: Cheater.

Our surfing of satellite radio made us discover the resourceful www.ashleymadison.com. “Life is short. Have an affair ®. The world's leading married dating service for discreet encounters”. Really? A dating service for people already married? So much for saying “honey, it’s not what you think. It was an accident”. We wonder if that Web site is directly sponsored by The Divorce Lawyers of America.

What does happen when the wife is both on www.cougarlife.com and www.ashleymadison.com? Does that make her a Coutah? Or a Cheegar?

What ever happen to the old fashioned way where the married man falls in love with a stripper? Candy Cantaloupes and Bouncing Brenda would certainly agree with us. “Our market is unstable. We will need to diversify our services”, said Candy. Well not exactly using those terms…but basically it was her message (actually lots of words including “job”, “hole” and “cluster”).

Some of you might say: “thanks for giving our significant others ideas how to cheat”. Good point. That said, we do not only point out the problem(s). We also provide the solutions: www.pcpandora.com. We would call this The Mama Bear. This software permits you to record and take screenshots of the websites visited, emails sent and received, instant messages sent and received. It even keeps track of chat room conversations. As if it wasn’t enough, you would also be able to trace secret passwords and explore all of the accounts belonging to your “loved one” (hotmail, gmail, yahoo!, cougarlife, ashleymadison, etc.).

What if your significant other is discrete on the home computer (in other words, he or she does it at work)? Well The Mama Bear has a second head: www.trutestinc.com. A DNA test that quickly and easily detects “traces” left in undergarments or in bed after sex. We won’t go into details, but part of the instructions is to “wet the stain”. We guess that you have to find a stain first. But hey! The kit even includes chirurgical gloves, so search away.

Suggestion: after relieving yourself alone in bed, while the significant other is gone, we recommend that you prevent the dog or cat to roll over in bed afterwards, you know, to avoid misunderstandings. Needless to say that such a simple precaution could be the difference between a divorce and a very nasty divorce.

So, let’s review our Modern Circus (aka zoo) food chain: Cougars eat men (only). Cheetahs eat women and men. Mama Bear feasts on Cougars and Cheetahs…kicks women and men’s asses…then calls her favorite Divorce Lawyer.

New Character(s) brought to this Blog: Candy Cantaloupes and Bouncing Brenda (as themselves).

This week’s lucky number: 7 (Yes! Again! “Do you feel lucky, punk?...Well, do you?” – Dirty Harry/Clint Eastwood).

Personal message: To the guy walking on the sidewalk, screaming profanity at his girlfriend, and that is about to run into a parking meter because he’s only watching her: we say absolutely nothing…as we watch justice in the making (Who knows? Maybe a new You Tube viral video).

Quote of the week: “Go for the happy endings, because life doesn’t have any sequels” – Crazy guy who thought he was a cat.

To do: smile more.

Rejected name for a Chinese restaurant: Meow.

Bad choice of a rock band name: God Himself could not sink this band (the band finally decided to choose the name The Titanic).

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

The Predictable Decline of an Empire

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 23:00:00 +0000

Many were not surprised by the economical decline of the United States of America (and to that, we raise our hand). However, there is no doubt that President Barack Obama got a rotten deal. All partisanship aside, he was bound to fail. George W. Bush went to war and President Obama got the bill. He also “acquired” the responsibility of finding a way to get out of Iraq and Afghanistan without creating a crisis. And because such a crisis is almost inevitable, he will also have the burden to solve the crisis.

And, in the end, probably President Obama’s successor will get all the credit for the fruits of the dirty job accomplished.

As if it wasn’t enough, President Obama inherited of an economy of overspending. We do not pretend to be experts in economics, finances or politics. However, it does not take a degree from the London School of Economics to understand that spending more than you make will basically lead you to trouble. We tried it in elementary school with a lemonade stand. Two words: grease fire. School-shylocks are still looking for us…

Added to that, many Americans overly mortgaged their home (in some cases, up to 100 %). The result was predictably perilous and disastrous as if we humbly attempted to skateboard our way on a metal rail attached to concrete stairs (a lifetime first). No one would try that, right?

Lots of people have done it (both the skateboard stunt and the overspending/overmortgaging) and failed miserably.

Why do people always buy stuff? To numb fears? To numb boredom? We certainly think that partnerships between The Drama Queen Media and an assortment of Nutcases contributed to that. For example, some Nutcase shoots his boss and a few key employees, before killing himself, and The Drama Queen Media leads off with “Could this happen at your work place?”. Corporate loves that equation. Remember: we consume more when we are scared.

Of course, we buy goods for essential needs, right? *annoying buzzer noise* - WRONG!!!

Electrical-stimulation abdominal belts (working out without efforts…really?), food dehydrators and the Hawaiian Chair (Please…Google it!). Why don’t you just slap us with a Shamwow!! Or why not buy the latest 3D plasma television? It’s about time to get rid of our HD 50 inches plasma television which is already almost 2 years old. And our neighbour (which looks happier than us) has the brand new 3D screen. “Gonna get me some happy!”.

What about productivity at work? For a long time, internet porn was the cause of “unproductivity” at work. Guess what? Porn is not as sexy as it used to (no pun intended). Now you have your football and baseball fantasy leagues (takes no more than 6-8 hours per day), social networks, March Madness, TMZ, chats, meeting-the-love-of-your-life.com and e-mail jokes/junk. If your hobbies get in the way of your job, get rid of the job, they say.

In the end, does the overspending and overpleasures bring happiness? Well use of anti-depressor, drugs and alcohol constantly increasing tend to point in the opposite direction.

But let’s not fool ourselves. This is not the decline of a nation. This is not the decline of an empire. This is the decline of the people. If we really want to make this better, we must stop the blaming game (most of the time, based solely on partisanship). The people, as a whole, has to take the major part of the blame. No one forced the people to overspend, overmortgage or waste time at work. Where have we stopped being responsible and accountable adults? Complaining does not help. It’s high times to put the debts where the people mouth is (the money is all gone…we have to put something else where our mouth is!!).

Work hard. Spend less than you make. Save the difference…for a rainy day. High school economics…and good ‘ol common sense.

Enough already with all of this Mumbo Jumbo. If we work hard, we also have a right to play hard. Miss Beach Party would ask: “Recession? Is that the cool new brand of tequila?”. (By the way, her original name was Miss Budweiser, but we wanted to broaden our sponsorship possibilities to other kinds of beers, including Duff Beer).

Miss Beach party believes in living the present moment and that you only live once…but in her own way. After hearing the definition of recession, she would pause and scream “Woo! Hoo! Free Beer! Oh no…I lost my bra. But I don’t care!”

New Character(s) brought to this Blog: Miss Beach Party (formerly Miss Budweiser) and Corporate (played by companies that have greater revenues than most countries around the world and that watch our every move, to get to know us better).

This week’s lucky number (we know it’s stupid...but please, just play along!): 7 (Yes! Again! And why not?).

Personal message: To my plump-pushing-60 female neighbour that walks naked in her apartment at night, in the dark: “If you open the refrigerator door, I can see you. I would prefer you not doing that”.

Quote of the week: “Stop being so stupid…it’s my turn” – Anonymous (Nutcase).

To do: daydreaming.

Rejected song title: It’s not because you’re ugly

Bad choice of a rock band name: Madoff and the Enrons

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com

The “ends” of the world

noreply@blogger.com (Reflections on a Modern Circus) — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 17:28:00 +0000

As we witness the sad images of violence from the suburbs of London, it’s easy to ask ourselves a few questions: has the whole world gone completely crazy? Is it the end of the world?

Add to that the never ending wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, Libya, Syria, Côte d’Ivoire, Darfur, etc. Even insignificant events turn sour in an instant…Like the riots in Vancouver after a Stanley Cup loss in the Finals. Or even worse: when they reintroduced the blue colored Smarties in May 2010, as we all remember. One must wonder if the Apocalypse is knocking at the door. We can already see The Nutcases salivating…Unfortunately, The Nutcase will be a recurring character in our silly blog.

Yes. Maybe we are crazy. As a matter of fact, we are quite sure we are. But we don’t think we are worse than the world was at other times in history. The media surely wants us to believe that every day. According to The Drama Queen Media (from now on, we will refer to the media as The Drama Queen Media), the world is on the verge of collapsing. For some crazy unknown reason, it seems we consume more when we are scared. As a result, we live in a culture of fear. No wonder terrorism is on the rise.

But for fun, just imagine how The Drama Queen Media would be covering the Crusades? Or the Spanish Inquisition? Or the French Revolution? Or the Crucifixion of Jesus? How about The Drama Queen Media covering a reality show of Cro-magnon men. All of them groaning and hitting themselves on the head with sticks every time they would disagree. Hilarious! Actually, they would not be able to air that today, you know, to maintain social order. Otherwise, people might think it’s a better (and cheaper) idea to hit their “ex” with a stick instead of hiring an expensive lawyer. I have to admit, it’s very tempting…

Violence is not only part of the history of the world, but it most certainly shaped it. People were killed for not believing in the same God, for believing that the world is round, for having epilepsy, etc. The world, sadly, has a history of violence. It looks like a big wheel that increases from level 1 to 10, turning round and round, clockwise, marking time.

Lately, we have only refined our reasons for killing. Nowadays, we read about killing the significant other for leaving (sometimes along with the children), stabbing a soccer referee for missing a call, shooting boss after a layoff, or murdering female students…simply for being women. Are we near level 10? Well, that would be like saying that World Wars I and II were level 5-6? Our humble opinion is that Holocaust has to be a solid 10. On the other hand, The Drama Queen Media would say that every day is a solid 10 on the nightly news.

So if you ever feel the urge to kick a guy’s family jewels for saying “at least you have your health”, or to puncture your bosses’ lungs with a crowbar, or to smash your 1999 Chrysler Cirrus in a government agency entrance, c’mon dude, be original!!! That’s nothing that hasn’t been done already during Medieval times (except maybe for the Chrysler thing).

But if you want to do something that hasn’t been done before (you know, because what we’ve tried yet as not worked): try to change your own small world. If everybody did that, we are optimistic that the world would change faster and more efficiently than whatever we are doing now.

On another note, we surely hope Mother Nature will read our modest blog (In our dreams…Yeah! Right! like she cares!). Mother Nature scares us way more than violence itself. We would like to bet that she is actually doing tests to wipe us off of this rock (See Japan, Haïti, Chile, Australia, New Zealand, etc.). Maybe she’ll come up with a bullet-proof-Ebola-like virus or a mega worldwide Tsunami (if you don’t swim, that might be a good time to learn).

In the meantime, The Nutcases around the world will have something to look for: the end of the world in 2012. I have to specify the year because we just “had” one this year, in May.

2012 is just another scare…or is it?

New Character(s) brought to this Blog: The Drama Queen Media (played any and all media) and The Nutcase(s) (played by your average local moron, screw loose, loser, goofball, dunce, loony, idiot, insane, screwball, round the bend, nut job and/or politician).

This week’s lucky number (we know it’s stupid...but please, just play along!): 7

Personal message: To the guy that keeps honking every time he picks up someone for carpooling very early in the morning: “Get off your fat ass, you lazy douche bag, and knock on the person’s door”.

Quote of the week: “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night” – Anonymous (stoner).

To do: say something kind to someone you really don’t know.

Bad choice of a rock band name: London Riots

Love letters, comments, opinions and complaints: reflectionsonamoderncircus@gmail.com