my beautiful U(terus)

Total Hysterectomy in 2018

2021-07-04T23:53:00.003-07:00

It had been years since I last updated this blog. The only update I have now is not even current. See, in 2018, my symptoms had been bothering me yet again. In June 2018, I yet again had been bleeding erratically, prompting my OB to advise me to get another dilation and curettage (D&C) procedure. So I had one back then. Once you have D&C, it's presupposed that one's bleeding would stop for a time. However, mine didn't. I continue to experience bleeding symptoms despite having the procedure and taking meds to stop the bleeding. My OB then advised me to consider doing the ultimate cure if bleeding continues to be an issue for me. I was nearing my 39th birthday then. Years prior, I made the decision to have my uterus taken out by age 40. As a single woman, my thought process was age 40 is a sufficient age for me to make that decision of giving up the thought of bearing a child. At that ripe age, I won't regret giving up my beautiful U, as it's now past or close to end of child-bearing age. When I was first diagnosed at 23 (with symptoms that started at age 12), I was told that the only way I skip experiencing the symptoms that I had then was if I have my uterus taken out. My symptoms would also stop altogether when I hit menopause. My mother had her menopause at age 45. I thought I could wait out another six years and wait for menopause myself to hit me in the off chance that I will have it at the same time my mother did. That way, I just let the whole process take its natural course without going under the knife. However, near late September of that year, I began to experience what felt like worsening symptoms. I remember there was one time that my symptoms hit me hard while I was at work. I was bleeding heavily that I remember going inside our office's CR cubicle around past 1 PM and stayed there for hours. I just waited out for clumps of blood to get out of my system. I tried changing pads but before twenty minutes or so pass, my pad was soaked yet again. Thus, as was my previous experience, once the clumps of blood start to come out, it would take another hour or so before the bleed becomes manageable. It truly felt like I was having spontaneous abortion with the amount of blood coming out of me. So yeah, I waited out the episode in the CR. Near our break time at 3:15 PM, I gathered courage to come out of the cubicle to grab my Gatorade and Hemostan pill to hopefully stop the bleeding. I remember coming out of the CR nearing 4 PM. I initially wanted to do undertime. But I was thinking perhaps I could wait another two hours and resume work and perhaps extend work for the hours I skipped while in the CR. Perhaps the Hemostan will start kicking and the bleeding won't be as bad. However, when 6 o'clock came, I started to feel faint. I didn't think I could extend hours. So I decided to hit the CR again to change pads in preparation for my travel for home.

I guess I lost too much blood then because the moment I reached our building's lobby area, I felt dizzy, and I didn't think I could walk much further to where I could wait for a taxi. I knew that if I take any further steps, I might pass out. I've passed out before so I knew then when it's about to hit me. My vision started to blur. So I stopped walking and did some deep yoga breathing. Anyway, our building had steps. I decided to sit there, hoping to flag a taxi. Unfortunately, I didn't see any taxi that pass by. I don't know what prompted me, but a thought just came to me to text my brother who works at UP, mere minutes away from IT Park. Honestly, I didn't think my brother would still be there since I know with certainty that he always leaves work around 5:00 or 5:30 PM. I guess out of desperation, I texted my brother if he's still around and ask to be picked up. My brother new of my symptoms, so perhaps him receiving a text from me he knew then that I was having it worse. Thankfully, I did reach him before he left for home. So yeah, he picked me up then. Upon getting in the car, he asked if I wanted to be taken to Cebu Doc's emergency. I said no because I thought I would just sleep it off. In my mind, I didn't want to be poked again and just be given Hemostan to stop the bleeding and some pain pills to manage the pain. I thought I didn't want to be subjected to unnecessary hassles in the ER and be subjected to tests, not to mention the embarrassment of being physically checked yet again and doubted about your sexual activity. With the number of times I've been poked by a speculum in previous hospital visits and having done D&C procedures twice, OB interns or residents usually gave me skeptical looks when I answer that I've never been sexually active, and thus, there was no chance that I'm having a miscarriage from pregnancy. How can I be pregnant without intercourse!
Back at home, I continue to bleed still heavily. After two or three days' rest, when I was confident that I could visit my doctor without incident, I went to her clinic to update her of what was happening to me the past few days and made the decision to finally take the step of having a hysterectomy. My doctor informed me that if I don't do hysterectory, she expected me to have D&C procedure every year to monitor the hyperplasia I apparently now have. As I didn't want to be subjected to that yearly procedure, I decided with finality to take the hysterectomy route. So my OB gave me presurgical orders and asked me to undergo usual tests like EKG, x-ray, and other blood test to ensure I'm healthy to undergo the procedure. Once she had the results of the tests she ordered, she scheduled me to have the operation after two weeks. My blood result wasn't too good. She wanted to ensure that I was not anemic by the time she has the operation. So she checked my blood test result again and gave me the go ahead for the procedure. She explained to me what she'll do like taking out my whole reproductive system except for my ovaries. My ovaries were healthy, so she wanted to leave it out so I will still have hormones and let menopause hit its natural course. Of course, I won't be bleeding after the procedure with the uteruse taken out, but at least I will still ovulate with my ovaries still intact.
The procedure I had was called total hysterectomy where the uterus, fallopian tubes, and cervix were removed. She had me open vertically, explaining that she couldn't do the bikini-line cut as she had to ensure that I didn't have adhesions in other organs. After the procedure, she explained that I not only had adenomyosis but also had a mild case of endometriosis as she found some adhesions (although very minimal) in my large intestines. She explained that my uterus was the size of a two-month pregnant woman, and it was pushing on my bladder, explaining the intermittent incontinence I also experienced then.
In any case, I had myself checked in the hospital Monday afternoon, was prepped the entire night for the 6 AM procedure. However, my operation was pushed to 10 AM because my doctor had an emergency surgery. So yeah, I was put under the knife around 10 AM. I remember counting from 10 backward and only reached 7 or 8, and I was out. The next thing I remember was waking up around 12 noon in the recovery room. Haha, I remember overhearing a husband talking to a nurse about having her wife stay much longer at the recovery room rather than being transfered to a ward, while waiting for a private room to be available. The nurse informed the husband that it's okay if they should wait out at the recovery room but should remember that staying past the usual time at the recovery room will cost them PhP2,000 per hour. Kamahal! I remember willing myself to make my legs move before the 2 PM deadline, as I didn't want to extend staying at the recovery room and pay PhP2,000 each hour I extend. Prior to surgery, I was informed by the surgery nurse to expect my legs to be numb and may not move right away because of the anesthesia. Until the effects of the anesthesia wears of, it's the only time I will be brought back to my own room. Haha, that conversation between the husband and another nurse truly motivated me to will my legs to work. Although, the effects of anesthesia really just wears off on its own, and functionality on the legs resume without you needing to do anything.
With the procedure done, the recovery struggle begins. I stayed at the hospital until Saturday. My doctor said that I was good to be discharged on Friday, but since my sister was only available on Saturday, we decided to be discharged the next day. The recovery was yet another struggle. I was off work for two months to fully recover. When I had my D&C last June, my doctor advised me to not report to work for a month. But after two weeks, I went back to work. So this time, my doctor insisted that I follow advice and take the required two months to fully recover.
As of writing, I'm totally bleed-free akin to having early menopause. It's almost three years now since I had the surgery back in October 8, 2018. Honestly, sometimes I thought back to when I was first diagnosed at 23. Perhaps I should have gotten the procedure then and spare myself 17 years of intermittent agony and expense. But back then, I remember that most OB I consulted that time refused to have me do hysterectomy in consideration of my young age then. Most were hesitant saying that I might someday want to have children and taking that procedure will not reverse things. My life possibly would have taken a different turn had I not have the symptoms I then had. But then again I may not have forgiven myself if I gave up on having that child-bearing years so easily. Whatever the case, I believe things happen at the right time in God's time.

lose weight

2016-04-25T22:35:00.002-07:00

A few weeks back, I noticed that my blood flow has gone erratic. Intermittent bleeds are not great for my sanity. It keeps me from going out of the house on days end. I'm aware that there's no predicting how one's period go in a day. But with a condition like mine, the unpredictability is paralyzing. I know this is all a mental game. Thus, in order for me to win the game, I just need to play right. One of the things that I can control is my weight. True, it's hard to control it, but I definitely know that I can watch the food that I eat. Years back when I had this kind of unpredictability, one of the things that I set my mind to doing was losing weight. My OB once told me that one of the things that I could do for my health was to lose weight. According to her, and to the literature I've read, the more fat a person is, the higher her estrogen level is. The high estrogen level in my system is supposedly causing my symptoms. I say supposedly because the medical literature is really not certain as to why a woman develops adenomyosis. My case is also an anomaly in the sense that most women who were diagnosed with adenomyosis are those women who have borne children. I have not borne any nor do I know if I'm capable of conception as I haven't had intercourse before.

There is that old wive's tale that supposedly claim that my disease will be cured if I get myself pregnant and bear a child. A lot has thrown the joke of me getting myself pregnant just to see if it can cure my condition. My partnerless status makes that a complicated approach. I won't lie that I have not considered it before, but my values just won't allow it. I guess I can be described an old maid in this sense. I've held this value way before I became a Christian. My faith in Jesus Christ has all the more sealed that what I value is right. So, I should not be pressured to thinking about getting pregnant as a solution. Heck, partly there's also the fear of confirming another symptom: painful intercourse. Review on other women's accounts state this as a symptom. I'm not talking about irrational fear of the unknown here. Some women diagnosed with adenomyosis complain of this painful problem and has expressed concern of this symptom affecting intimacy with their husbands. This is one of the reasons I'm grateful that I'm single. At least, I don't have to worry about this. YAY!

Anyway, going back to original topic. I will try my very best to lose the weight. Not having a job is also a blessing in that respect. With me, being at home most of the time, I'm away from food temptations. I'm a foodie, and being in the vicinity of food especially fast food is truly detrimental to my health. Also, one thing that I've noticed that I didn't do before was drinking coffee. I'm no coffee drinker, but since staying at home I've been drinking a mug or two of coffee - the instant kind. I don't know if it's related or not, but in my research before, there was a bit about avoiding caffeine. I still have some instant coffee stashed in the house, so I'll just probably finish it off and skip them on my next grocery run.

Over the past days, I've been consuming a lot of breads. In my research before, a lot of women advised to avoid food with "wheat" in it. As more often than not, I get lazy cooking. Thus, I stock bread, crackers, and a few chocolate cookies in my fridge. I have a rule before to not stock on these food items because I know I will have no control. Let's just say, I eat anything that I see available. Thus, the best strategy for me is to minimize the food I see or not stock them at all. I violated this personal rule because I've been feeling real OK in the past months. But I guess my body is reminding me to revisit on my rules again. So yeah, I will try again at controlling the food that I eat. In fact, I will challenge myself to eat 'ampalaya' or bitter gourd. I don't like ampalaya because of its taste. However, I was just reminded this week that one need not eat something because of its good taste. One must eat certain kinds of foods because it's healthy for the body. Eating ampalaya as the reminder goes can be something that can be developed into a habit. The speaker vouched that as a carnivore himself, he loathes eating ampalaya. But because his wife is insistent of eating healthy, he has developed the habit of eating vegetables. In fact, he has developed a taste for ampalaya specifically. Ampalaya is supposed to be good for those with my condition because it has a lot of iron in it.

I'm very much aware that 'taste' for something can be developed. For example, in my early years at my former company I can never tolerate Korean food. I don't like Kimchi, the spiciness of everything Korean. But over the years, I have developed a taste for Korean food. In fact, my benchmark for noodles is now the Korean ramen. I used to like the Filipino instant ramen, but now my preference is the Korean brand. There's not a week that I don't eat Korean noodles. So I guess, developing a taste for ampalaya can be something that I can have, too. I need to do it because if my blood flow keeps at the rate it's going, although they're intermittent, it won't be long that I become anemic again. Based on previous experience, the more anemic I become, the more I will have this heavy flow. So, yeah, the order of business for me is losing the weight and increasing iron intake. If I can't do the ampalaya thing yet, I'll just resort to popping iron supplements for the time being.

If I'm able to do this, don't be surprised if I'm much thinner (hopefully) than what you'd remember. I won't go thin all the way because quite frankly, I like my chubby self! Hehe, with the exception of when I have to buy jeans!

april 2016 period report

2016-04-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

From my last entry of april 5, 2016 , I didn't have my period beginning of Thursday, March 31 until late afternoon of April 4, 2016. I had the most pain on the night of April 4, but didn't have any dysmenorrhea the next day. Although I woke up soaked, I only had two pad changes the entire Tuesday. I stayed home until I was confident that my period is totally gone, and that happened on Friday, April 8. So generally, I'm period-free from that day of April 8 to lunch time of April 15. A little after lunch, I felt some blood trickled and I immediately went to the CR to change. I was a bit disappointed for I only had at least a week of being period-free. However, I was grateful that my flow that day was just very light. I only had to use one pad.

What I thought was a start of another bleeding onslaught, didn't turn out that way. I was surprised that today, I woke up blood-free. However, towards the later part of the evening, I felt a sudden pain in my pelvic area. It's not painful pain. Probably just a sensation of pain as I definitely didn't have the urge to call on to friends for prayers. In the past (so many years ago), I only feel the pain when I have my period. But today, I kept on checking my undies to see if there's blood. The day has past, but there's not an ounce of blood - not even a trickle. Luckily, the sensation didn't last long. Probably just under an hour. When I'm period-free and still feel a bit of sensation, I get a little scared. My doctor warned me before that I have nothing to worry if I have months in between periods, for as long they're consistent. She said that it's probably my normal. She said I should be more scared if I have these intermittent bleeds. According to her, the intermittent bleeds signify that there is something wrong. It is for this reason that I'm chronicling again my period just to see where things go. Haha, I still don't want to go back for a check-up with an OB-GYN as I don't want to be popping OCPs (oral contraceptive pills) again. OCPs are generally what's given me to regulate my period. I don't want to take them again or be injected with progesteron as I attributed them as a causing agents to my migraine. I haven't had bad headaches in years. Of course, I have no way of knowing if the pills caused my headaches. All I know that during the months that I was on pills or was injected with progesteron, I always had headaches. So, yeah, I'm avoiding visiting my OB again just so I won't have to tell her that I don't want any pills. If I have to take anything, I'm only amenable to the iron supplements. While I don't want to see a doctor again, my body is telling me that I should probably go have an ultrasound at least, just to check. Since I had the DNC last October 30, 2010, my doctor urged me to go have a yearly ultrasound. In that DNC, I learned that I only have simple endometrial hyperplasia without atypia. Among the 4 types, this one doesn't lead to cancer, while the other 3 types are pre-cursor to cancer. Even then, my doctor said that I should not be complacent and should still do the yearly check-up, even if I no longer want to go back to just regulating my period.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to do as I was told. Since that DNC, I decided to go on a special diet. I believe the diet worked for me. However, I wasn't able to sustain it. By January of 2013, I went back to my doctor complaining of excessive bleeding again. I had ultrasound again last January 9, 2013. My doc put me once again on progesteron and ocps, with a condition. As I reiterated to her that I don't want to be drinking pills again, I told her that I would go on the progesteron and ocp regimen again if my condition didn't improve. I think I only managed to finish the progesteron, but didn't get around to drinking the pill. Fast-forward to October 2013, I had another ultrasound. My doctor suggested that I go for another round of DNC. As I my company had health insurance coverage, my doctor gave me leeway to go an insurance-affiliated doctor. Though the consult and the procedure would have been free, I kept postponing the procedure until my company got into financial trouble that we lost our health insurance coverage. Thus, I ended up not getting the DNC.

So, here I am now more than two years later, wondering if my period will be intermittent again. So, let's just see how will things go this entire month of April.

For my own consumption: Summary

March 31 - April 4 (late afternoon): period free (4 days)
Apri 4 - April 7: period (3 days)
April 8 - April 14: period free (6 days)
April 15: period (1 day)
April 16: period free and let's see in the next few days

UPDATE: April 26, 2016 April 17 (Sun): none April 18 (Mon): only trickles, 1 washable pad April 19 (Tue): only trickles throughout the day (1 washable pad); then around 9 PM had sudden blood surge; clots of blood (2 sets of half-fist size) spilled on my mat. the 2nd DIY washable pad didn't absorb the clot April 20 (Wed): interestingly no blood in the morning and throughout the day, as if the blood surge last night didn't occur. trickles of blood in the evening (1 disposable pad until the next day) slept early (around 12 MN; major headache a little after 7 PM; didn't take any meds) April 21 (Thu): woke up with headache around 9 AM... headache disappeared without meds light blood flow (1 disposable pad as of 4:30 PM... headache, starting to recur - must be the heat! change pad 6 PM went out for dinner at Brutus to meet a friend; sudden heavy flow - 2 sets of blood clots; change to heavy flow pad came home around 10:00 PM; change to regular flow pad -- sleep April 22 (Fri) : woke up at 10:00 A.M; pad not fully soaked (80%) April 23 (Sat): woke up at around 8:00 A.M; April 24 (Sun): blood flow light to none; change to regular pad upon waking up at 10:30 A.M; change to washable pad around 5:30 PM; blood surge at around 12:00 MN; change to regular pad, but fully soaked barely 20 minutes; wait out blood surge at C.R., change to regular pad -- sleep around 3:00 A.M April 25 (Mon): woke up at around 12 NN; overnight pad only at 75% full; change to regular flow pad April 26 (Tue): woke up at around 10:00 A.M.; overnight pad 85% full; change to regular flow pad - blod clots discharged upon change *blood surge usually lasts from 20 minutes. by surge, I mean chunks of blood comes out and I could feel continuous blood discharge. when this normally happens, i usually just wait out the onslaught at the C.R. rather than change pads only to be soaked in less than 10 minutes. once the onslaught has passed; back to regular flow as if the surge didn't happen. sometimes, it can swiftly change from blood surge to just super light blood flow *either causal factor or just pure coincidence; blood surge happens later in the day when I consumed super COLD drinks/treats or I try to engage in a little bit of weights exercise (nothing heavy - just 5 lb dumbells)

intermittent bleeds and pain revisits

2016-04-05T06:14:00.001-07:00

it's been a while since i've had pain symptoms. at times, i bleed more than regular women do. over the past years, i can say my condition has been OK. i menstruate once or twice in a month for only a few days and it's gone. of late, i've been having intermittent bleeds. last week (march 27), i had my period. i attended sunday church service and as soon as the service ended, I found myself bleeding heavily. as I didn't expect my period, I didn't take with me my usual kit. thus, i had to rush to watson's to buy some supplies. i waited for a while before heading home to make sure i have things under control.

the next day, Monday (march 28) - i was only bleeding trickles. quite different from the previous day. so, i decided to go out of the house to go to a government office to pay my housing amortization. just when i arrived at the mall where the hdmf mandaue holds office, i felt a blood surge again. to my surprise, my pad was all soaked up, barely an hour before i left the house. so, it was the CR that became my first stop instead of going to the government office as i had intended. by this time, i kept telling myself to relax and not to panic. otherwise, if i panic, i'd bleed more than i wanted. an hour into waiting for my turn, i felt a heavy surge once again. my number was just 5 numbers away. i was turn between bolting to the CR or waiting for my number to be called. in my mind, i kept thinking of approaching the people before me and ask that i pay ahead. but i didn't want to be explaining to them my whole medical history. so, i ended up just standing to wait for my number to be called. by standing up, i would less worry about getting the seats stained by blood. it felt like an hour waiting for my number. i was already anxious and i know from past experience that if i don't control my anxiety, i'll end up bleeding more. i pretended everything was cool despite feeling that my pad is all soaked up. i couldn't run, i just walked ever so slowly back to CR that i visited earlier. the janitor manning the CR gave me a weird look as he probably recalled that i was just there an hour earlier and there i was again back so soon. true enough, my pad's all soaked. did a quick change and proceeded immediately to going to JMall where I could get a ride back home. i stayed at JMALL to make sure i wouldn't catch myself in an uncompromising situation. every time i have episodes like this, aside from prayers, what gives me comfort is the knowledge that i have quick access to the CR. so, with mandaue-lapulapu traffic, i couldn't risk myself having an episode while on the road. this kind of ordeal is something so common to me that i really know the drill on doing things. an hour or so later, I was then quite confident that i could make it home without incident. i did another quick change and headed home. as soon as i reached home, i did another quick change.

the following morning (march 29), i only had trickles of blood as if yesterday didn't happen. such is the kind of my cycle. but to be safe, i didn't go out and stayed home.

it was only the following day, wednesday (march 30), that i proceeded to resume doing my errands. i only had to use a single pad for the entire day i was out.

thursday (march 31) to late afternoon of Monday (april 4), i was period free. enjoyed some ice candies that i personally made. but late last night (april 4) - i was heavily bleeding again. unlike last sunday's episode, last night's episode was different. i was feeling some pain. REAL PAIN. just below my belly, i could feel pain that radiates to my lower back. lumps of blood were coming out. so, last night was spent inside the cr for minutes end. every time, i change pads, barely 20 minutes pass and i'm soaked again. so, to prevent from staining my place, i resorted to spending most of the night in the CR. i brought one of my chair and throw pillow there and waited for the onslaught to pass. coming in and out of the CR was an ordeal and a pretty good way to lose some appetite. but much experience has told me that if i allow my ordeal to prevent me from eating, i'll easily lose energy. so i prepared a quick noodle meal. i didn't want to cook a decent meal just because. i tried to get some sleep around 12MN, but I could not sleep with the pain i'm feeling. tried to chat with my friends through FB, not mentioning my ordeal to get me distracted from the pain. earlier, i asked for prayers from my dgroup leader and prayed so hard for God to get me through the night as he has previously done so on many nights in the previous years. i listened to worship songs and they helped me focus my pain elsewhere. the pain was with me throughout the night. after my friends went to sleep, i attempted to get some sleep but the feeling on my lower back and below my belly button kept me from getting the zzzz. also, i also could still feel blood coming out. though not as heavy as in the early hours. i went back to the cr and just sleep there. after a few minutes in the uncomfortable position, i decided to sleep on my sofa. i booted my laptop again, and watched Ravi Zacharias on YouTube. by the grace of God, i managed to get some sleep. my last memory of the clock was around 4:20 A.M.

today april 5, i woke up around 11:45 A.M. obviously, my pad was all soaked up again. did a quick change. just like the sunday before this past sunday, my flow wasn't as heavy. only on my second pad and the pad before this wasn't heavily soaked. i didn't feel any of the pain i felt last night. it was as if last night didn't happen at all. i thank god to all who prayed for me from last night's ordeal. i thank God himself for getting me through this one-night pain ordeal. a good cry also did help with the pain, haha!

big to big

2014-07-25T21:35:00.001-07:00

one of the symptoms of adenomyosis is dysfunctional uterine bleeding. in order to control my symptoms my doctor advised me to lose weight. according to her, i have too much estrogen in my system. the fatter i get, the more estrogen hormones are released in my body.

below are pictures of me. they were taken more or less three years apart of each other.

august 2008 - april 2011 - march 2014

at my fattest, i had the worst symptoms. my period was erratic. its duration was unpredictable. there were times i would bleed for 3 weeks. but there were also times i would be period free for two to three months. as my period became unpredictable, my doctor put me on pills to regulate my cycle. during these times, i also had pain symptoms of labor magnitude minus the baby. it was then that i made a decision to try the nutrition approach and go on diet to help my body.

i managed to successfully lose weight just by eating cruciferous vegetables (the cabbage family), no pork and beef, no instant food, no softdrinks, no pastas or anything with "wheat" in it. just vegetables, fish, brown rice. all my food were cooked either boiled or steamed. strictly no oil. but if i had to cook with oil, i had to use extra virgin olive oil. apart from dieting, i was religious in exercising (yoga and dance). as a result, i no longer feel any pain symptoms. sure, i still have my adenomyosis. but the best part is even if i would bleed for more than a week, i no longer feel any pain. i'm completely pain-free.

the bad thing now since i feel better, and able to manage my symptoms well - i am back to my old self. i'm still pain-free most of the time, but slowly i'm noticing that once in a while i feel some pain. but very slight. probably just a 2 or a 3. of course, this is a result of foregoing the diet and not doing any exercise at all.

time for me to wake up and hit my little yoga room and go easy on my food.

vegetarian pasta

2014-02-09T07:52:00.000-08:00

wheat. it is, according to a book i've read, one of the food ingredients that women with endometriosis should avoid. red meat is also another thing to avoid to lessen one's pain symptoms. when i thought my symptoms were getting worse, i once tried avoiding these two. but i only managed to successfully do it for six months. why? in that six months, i felt better. since i felt better, i went back to eating fast food, red meats, breads, pastas, etc. stupid, eh? every time i go back to not watching the food i eat, i again would have longer periods. so, the story of my life consists mostly of going back and forth - from watching the food i eat, to indulging on meats, breads, and pastas.

when i'm on my best behavior, i usually resort to eating the following:
meatless macaroni

yes, most pasta noodles are made of wheat. but luckily, i found a brand here in the PH that is not only wheat free, but gluten free as well. the pasta noodle is made from brown rice!!!

now, as for the pasta sauce; i normally use tuna flakes in oil. but in this case, i decided to skip it as well and go all vegetarian. i just sauteed lots of fresh tomatoes, red bell pepper, onions, and garlic. in a minute or two, i just added the pineapple tidbits and the spaghetti sauce, and voila, guilt-free macaroni pasta for me to enjoy.
main ingredients

vegetarian pasta sauce

eggplant lasagna

2013-12-24T10:47:00.000-08:00

merry christmas!!!

it's that time of the year when dieters are put to a test! as christmas in the philippines is highly celebrated, staying on one's diet course can prove challenging. heck, for someone like me who loves eating, going on a diet throughout the year often always remains a dream more than becoming a reality! the past months i was back to eating fast food at dinner. last october, my doc advised me to undergo another DnC as my lining again was thickened and i was spotting on and off. she recommended this to monitor my hyperplasia. as my OB isn't insurance-accredited, i opted not to do as advised. i got lazy shopping for another OB and I didn't have money for the procedure if i stick with my OB. since my doc visit, i've haven't bled in a while. it's both comforting and frightening. NOT having my period is a blessing as i do away with all the discomfort that comes with having my flow, but at the same time it's frightening as i don't know what's going on with my beautiful u. NOT doing the DnC now could mean i'm compromising my health. but let's just say that i'm relying on a much higher power (possibly stupid!) who knows my future. yep, i'm turning to faith, here.

anyway, as i can't possibly rely everything on the jokester, i have to do my share of the work. that is, to watch what i eat (yeah, mostly unsuccessfully!). based on personal experience, minimizing consumption of red meat has done wondrous things to my symptoms. yes, things might just be coincidental, but i swear - i've noticed the difference of not feeling any more pain every time i have my period since i started eating less and less of red meat. (i still eat them, but not as often as before).

i love pastas. but since i've made my decision to try to cut my red meats, i've managed eating pastas using only canned tuna flakes. sometimes, i go purely vegetarian with my pasta and just contend with loads of red tomatoes, onions, and bell pepper; and use rice-based, gluten-free pasta noodles.

SO, in line with the attempt to minimize my red meats, i opted to make this eggplant lasagna to bring home to my family for christmas!

eggplant lasagna

meat sauce = canned tuna flakes, red tomatoes, bell pepper, onions in del monte tomato & cheese sauce and filipino style spaghetti sauce

verdict: my sister said that for a first time attempt in making this dish, i did real well (something you could share to neighbors with pride -which my mother actually did). as for my brother, he said i could have done without the 'eggplant' haha!! well, my brother doesn't like vegetables much, so i could understand the comment.

veggie burger

2013-04-08T21:58:00.000-07:00

hmmm, yum!

yup, there's not a beef in this yummy burger. i made this back when i was strict about following a diet plan. the self-imposed diet included not a tad of meat. back when i had my full blown symptoms, i read from various accounts that ditching red meat helps in managing the pain symptoms of adenomyosis. as mentioned in old posts that one of the symptoms of adenomyosis is major cramping. it is said that eating red meat causes more pain symptoms as red meat is known to promote pro-inflammatory prostaglandins. currently, i am back to eating meat, but i keep the red meats to a minimum (generally, smaller than a fist size in a given meal). so far, i've not had major cramping even if i'm bleeding. this could only be circumstantial, but hey, it's worth a try if you really want to manage your symptoms while waiting for menopause to hit, or if you hadn't had your uterus removed through a hysterectomy.
above burger, is actually a black bean burger - the recipe of which was gotten from a friend, HERE, who also got it somewhere, hehe... it is actually truly delicious. you should try making some.
happy cooking!

21-day yoga challenge

2013-02-10T02:41:00.000-08:00

today would have been my 7th day on the challenge. "would have been" is the operative word because i only made it to the 5th day. i initially thought that doing yoga for two days straight is impossible. after all, i've learned that the muscles need at least a day's rest to recuperate. but when i made it to the 3rd, 4th, 5th, i thought - wow! i could probably complete the 21-day challenge. but like i said, i missed two days already.
early january, i had my period back. the last time i had my period was in october 2012. as it is normal for me to miss some months, i didn't mind it. besides, over the past months prior to october, my period has religiously appeared on a monthly basis. so when my period came last january 4, i figured it will be just like the other months - regular flow with no pain. but towards late night on that friday, i started to feel some cramping. at first i didn't drink anything as my bleeding was just regular and the pain was tolerable. but things changed when saturday came. the bleeding started to become heavier and the pain becoming stronger. when i found a window - a temporary relief from pain and bleeding, i went out of the house to buy myself some supplies and medicines. early on, i noticed that this period would NOT be "uneventful". towards evening of saturday, the pain started to become stronger and the flow heavier. at that time, i resolved to get past this on my own plus a little bit of prayers. sunday came and nothing's changed. i run out of food to eat, thus, had no choice but to call reinforcement. i asked my mother to come to mactan to help me out. as much as possible, i try NOT to get my mother involved. but at that time, i had to ask for help again. monday came and with a lot of blood loss, i wasn't feeling too well to work. i continued to bleed even after taking hemostan. this is the tablet i take whenever the flow appears uncontrollable. as january 7 fell on a week when we are not supposed to go on leave, i had no choice but to visit a doctor to substantiate that i wasn't feigning illness. while i continue to bleed, there were windows that allowed me to visit LH Prime. i initially didn't want to visit my regular OB because her office is at ramos st. near velez. its distance away from mactan alone is enough to trigger my panic. but at that time, i had no choice as the two in-house OB of LH Prime both canceled. so late in the afternoon, i went to my regular OB. i had not visited my OB since 2010. during that visit, i made the decision to stop taking oral contraceptive pills. generally, stop my duphaston-OCP cycle. i just had enough of the side effects. at that time, i vowed to lose weight and just lead a healthy-lifestyle. i managed to stay on a diet for 6 months, and started to feel healthy. when i became healthy again, i went back to my old ways of following the eat-what-i-see diet. anyway, at my OB visit, my doc ordered me to have a transrectal of the uterus ultrasound to check my uterus and adenomyosis. results indicate that my uterus remain to have a thick endometrial lining, but my myoma has shrunk a bit. my doc told me that whatever i did before had an effect on my uterine condition. thus, she asked me to go back on whatever it was i did that was healthy. further more, she gave instructions that if my bleeding won't stop by saturday of that week, then i will have to take some progesterone pill and then back to oral contraceptive pills (gracial) for the next six months. i told her that yeah, i will follow if the bleeding continues. but at the back of my mind, i thought that i truly don't want to go back to that cycle. with that cycle, i usually had 3-days of torture and didn't want to go back. luckily, my bleeding stopped around Friday. i didn't bleed Saturday, and so made a conscious decision to watch my food intake and go back to my yoga.
so that's the story of why i wanted to do the 21-day yoga challenge. from my experience, when i do yoga, my food intake at nights become controlled. the same thing happens for my breakfast intake. however, last friday, my meal schedule got disrupted. i guess i will just have to go back to day 1 and see if i can do it this time. all i know is i truly do not want to go back to taking pills just to control my period.

signs and symptoms of adenomyosis

2012-11-08T15:06:00.000-08:00

in an earlier post, i talked about the condition adenomyosis. just for a quick review, adenomyosis as defined in WebMD is a condition in which the inner lining of the uterus called the endometrium breaks through the muscle walls of the uterus (myometrium). in other words, the tissues (endometrial) that normally lines the uterus (you know that lining in preparation for pregnancy), EXISTS within and grows INTO the muscular wall of the uterus (Source: MayoClinic.com.
screen grabbed from Mayo Clinic's website

now that you've recalled what the condition means. let's proceed to knowing its signs and symptoms. below is the table of symptoms from two sites online.

**signs and symptoms**
mayo clinic	WebMD
heavy or prolonged menstrual bleeding	heavy, prolonged menstrual bleeding
severe cramping or sharp, knife-like pelvic pain during menstruation(dysmenorrhia)	severe menstrual cramps
menstrual cramps that last throughout period and worsen as one gets older	abdominal pressure and bloating
pain during intercourse
bleeding between periods
passing blood clots during period

from the above list, i experienced all of the above except for one. the symptoms appear really serious, especially the severe pains, heavy and prolonged bleeding, and the passing of blood clots, but according to medical literature adenomyosis is not life threatening (yay!) no one dies because of adenomyosis. in fact, one will be totally cured of it once she hits menopause (woman stops forming lining to prep for pregnancy, so no more tissues possibly encroaching the uterine walls) while this is truly something to rejoice about, it actually isn't picture perfect at all. when the symptoms emerge, it can actually be disruptive to one's daily life.
every time i have bouts of heavy bleeding, i lose total confidence to get out of the house. i fear not having easy access to a toilet. obviously, i have to change every so often because the pads for heavy flow just won't suffice. at worst, i experienced having to change pads every 20 minutes because they're easily soaked. so, when i'm at home, i sometimes resort to just staying in the john for an hour or so just to wait out for the blood clots to come out or just allow myself to bleed. haha, i remember there were several incidents where i placed a stool with pillow on top in front of the toilet bowl and just let the time and the bleeding passed while reading chick lit.nope they weren't cozy at all because the cramping was equally nasty. the book serves as distraction, and reading sometimes don't work as effectively as crying. i also had an episode in the mall, where i got stucked at the cinema toilet for roughly an hour also. good thing i was with a friend then that she patiently waited and talked me through the whole ordeal. i guess part of the reason she understood my condition was because she also witnessed a time that i got so caught up with work that i didn't realize i was heavily bleeding until i got up from my seat and my chair was all covered in blood. in fact, i think i had to borrow from boss' househelp some change of clothes then. my worst episode i think happened while i was at sm north wing three years ago. i expected my period to be normal that day as it's been days since i've had my period and the flow wasn't really heavy. but it's probably because of the cold temperature at the mall that triggered the heavy bleeding and so i had to rush to the nearest toilet. i broke down that day because i felt the condition was unfair and demeaning. Demeaning because i had to clean up after myself and the toilet bowl to remove the splashes of blood all over. plus, the toilet's drain got clogged and the water overflowed from the bowl. at least i tried to clean it up, but the janitress in-charge stopped me. she explained that she's been having problem with that cubicle and that it wasn't my fault that water overflowed from it. prior to that some women around were already looking at me curiously. because there was too much blood in the toilet, they probably thought i was attempting abortion. for fear that the janitress would think the same way, i had to explain to her about my medical condition. after hearing my story, she was sympathetic to me. i cried not because of her sympathy, but two other women came in later and saw the janitress cleaning the cubicle i vacated and made comments about "other people not knowing where to throw tissue properly, thus causing the clogged toilet". i knew it was an innocent comment. however, it was hurtful. i knew what they said was partly true. but to my defense, they didn't have an iota of idea of what i had to endure. also, as a person i would never throw garbage carelessly. i usually end up with pocketful of trash in my jeans because i don't throw them unless i spy a garbage bin. at that time, i remembered thinking if only these women knew the condition i had, and that there are other women around them who have reproductive issues they have no control over, they probably wouldn't have made wrong assumptions. (again, i know the comment wasn't attributed to me, but in some way i also felt responsible for the clogged toilet as my beautiful uterus didn't stop spewing blood clots then.
as far as pain symptoms are concerned, pain level when cramping ranges from a better 5 to a worst 10. the way i'd described it and probably of how i am when the pain became bad, my mother compared the pain with labor pains. my vagina hurts from blood spewing marathon, my pelvic bones, the lower portion of my back gives me hell. no amount of omega pain ointment works and so i usually end up popping mefenamic acid pills every 4 or 3 hours. sometimes, i'd cheat and take two at a time. the worst part is i don't know which position to take. i couldn't lie down too long because then it'd be hard for me to get up to run to the toilet. i'd dance, walked around the house, or just stand before my bar stool and just let my upper body rest while my mother tries to massage my back. boy, there were so many incidents involving my pain symptoms. haha, if you read my earlier posts, a lot of them were ranting and were actually written while in tremendous pain. the pain and bleeding sometimes don't appear together though. i had also plenty of occasions where i would just bleed for like 5 days to 3 weeks, flow isn't heavy, and there's no pain at all.
at present, i haven't had the symptoms i've described here. things changed for me when i decided to just let my condition run its course without relying on depo provera shots or changing from one contraceptive pills to another. since then, my bouts of heavy bleeding had been far in between. in the last three months, i've only had my period for at most 5 days without pain symptoms. one or two of those days were heavy, but not heavy enough that i couldn't go to work. at work, i just have to go to the toilet every once in a while to change pads. i also haven't had my ultrasound this year. so, i'm not sure how my beautiful uterus is faring these days but as far as daily living is concerned, i feel a whole lot better. definitely, a big change because prior to the decision to quit relying on pharmacology, i had a health scare that i may have gotten endometrial hyperplasia as my ultrasound didn't look too go. to confirm if i have it, i had a DnC procedure and the tissues scraped from my beautiful uterus was biopsied. luckily, my biopsy report indicated that i got the kind that won't lead to uterine cancer. the 3 other kinds are precursor to cancer. so, yay as i don't fancy myself losing my precious locks.

what is adenomyosis

2012-10-14T03:22:00.001-07:00

when i made this blog two years ago, i intended for it to be my venue to rant about my condition called "adenomyosis." since then, i've never really updated this blog. one reason is at one point i made the decision not to talk so much about my uterus. i felt that talking about my beautiful uterus is equivalent to me letting the condition take control over my life. but today, i'm reminded of the other reason why i supposedly started this blog: to help fellow sufferers. so, i went through the few posts i've written and realized that i've never fully explained what adenomyosis is.

WARNING:
please read this post with caution. i'm not a medical doctor. i do not pretend to have a full grasp of the condition that i have. what you will read here are FACTS OF MY CASE.
over the years i've learned not to jump to conclusions, and to take each information i come across the net with a lot of skepticism. that each information is unique to an individual suffering the same case. though each case is unique, it is those cases of other women that helped me cope with my condition. so, hopefully - my case could help another suffering woman out there. again, i can't reiterate enough to read with caution and remember that it is MY case. yours might different from mine.

my case started with this piece of report: well, i've had this condition since i was 12 years old. i just wasn't diagnosed with it yet as i didn't seek further medical advice until i was 23 - old enough to understand the processes i had to go through.

i was told that i had a thickened endometrium at .94 cm or (9.4 mm).

The endometrium is the inner lining of the uterus. It is where a fertilized egg attaches to during pregnancy. Thickness of the endometrium usually varies during the woman's menstrual cycle. When the woman doesn't get pregnant, this lining is shed off and should reduce to 2 to 3 mm thick.
My scan reveals that even at Day 10 of my period, my endometrium is still at 9.4 mm thick. A thickened endometrium is one symptom of adenomyosis.
According to yahoo health, adenomyosis is a condition that involves movement (or encroachment) of endometrial tissues, which normally lines the uterus, INTO the muscles of the uterus. It is for this reason that uterine walls are thickened and can cause heavy or longer-than usual bleeding. It can also cause pain during the menstrual cycle or copulation.

My 2007 UTZ Results

DIAGNOSIS;

normal-sized globular retroverted uterus with thick endometrium as describe, cannot rule out endometrial pathology.

posterior wall adenomyosis considered with adenomyoma and endometrial encroachment noted

both ovaries are normal.

My 2009 UTZ Results

DIAGNOSIS;

slightly enlarged, retroverted and globular uterus
posterior adenomyosis / adenomyoma, maintained; the adenomyoma shows increasing size
thick endometrium with a nons-specific sonographic appearance
unremarkable ovaries
nabothian cysts

In October 2010, i underwent a DnC (dilation and curettage procedure ('raspa')) to rule out "endometrial hyperplasia" - a topic i'll probably discuss next.

In January 2011, i had the worst pain symptoms ever that i rushed to velez hospital at the ungodly hour of 2 A.M.

In May 2011, i decided to give up pharmacology. I stopped taking oral contraceptive pills or depo provera shots just to control my heavy bleeding.

This year, I haven't had my yearly ultrasound. I don't know when my period comes or when it goes, but I feel much better now. It's mid October and I've only used up 2 of my 6 sick leave credits. It's a great improvement because in the past years, I would have used up and more days because my bleeding was too heavy for me to report to work.

fight stress and believe

2012-09-22T04:49:00.004-07:00

at all cost.

though i have no research to back the claim that stress causes symptoms of adenomyosis to flare up, i have reason to believe that stress has much to do with my bleeding symptoms. in the past three weeks, work has been crazy. i'd say late last week was the craziest. everyone is pressed with deadlines, and from my end - i can't helped but feel the pressure. add to the pressure from work, rush hour traffic is getting hellish every day in mactan. from my place to tamiya terminal, what used to take only less than 10 minutes may now take more than 20 minutes. then, another 10 or 15 minutes to line up for the jeep going to hi-way. since i've no patience to wait up for that long, i usually opt to hail a cab. another stressor as taxi fare burns a big hole in my pocket. while you maybe thinking that traveling from home to work inside the comforts of an air-conditioned taxi is heaven, you thought wrong. at least, i don't think so. waiting inside the taxi for close to at least 26 minutes just to get the CHANCE to cross the old mactan bridge is driving me nuts. every day, i can feel my temper rising due to all this waiting time on the road. if not for the resolve to not let my temper get the better of me, and through God's grace - I don't think I'll be able to get out of traffic without barking at the cab driver or any one.

all these factors: work - traffic - budget; are what i believe made my period appear all so suddenly. of course, it could also be that it's bound to appear since the last time i had it was sometime late june. or it could be of good stress - a friend of mine was getting hitched and a friend from out of town was coming with her whole family. i was either too excited to see her and her brood again that my body played a trick on me and decided to humor me with my period. wednesday of that week, my period decided to visit me. i was on/off the john several times as the bleeding was getting out of whack. i tried hard very much to not be concerned about it especially that i had too many deadlines at work, and can't afford to be absent. however, when i try so hard not to think about it - the more horrible thoughts of not being able to control the bleeding crop up. ergo, i bleed some more. thus, i decided to file for leave just for precautionary measure. voila, thursday came and i only had droplets of blood. i was so happy that i thought i really could see my friend for friday dinner, and in fact, i cancelled my leave and went to work. friday came and it was a different story. the whole afternoon i was fine, until the period went berserk that i had to beg off seeing my friend for dinner. i was actually out of the office, when i felt the blood surge so i had to walk back to my office and hide in the c.r. for close to 20 minutes. i was on and off the c.r. in between the trips, i'd visit my officemates who were doing overtime just to get my mind off the bleeding. i initially left the office a little past 6 P.M., and was finally confident to leave it a little past 8:30. luckily, i didn't have to worry about getting home as my friend picked me up at work and dropped me at my doorsteps. i was so grateful. otherwise, just thinking about how to get home with my unpredictable period is enough to drive my bleeding to nuts again. as soon i got home, i decided to cheat and popped a pill to stop the bleeding. saturday was my friend's wedding and she'd kill me if i don't show up. saturday, i was fine and didn't bleed as much. attended the wedding and had fun with friends and their families. altogether, i truly thought everything would be well. on sunday, i learned that cheating truly isn't good. my period came back with a vengeance. in fact, i missed the church's first worship service. the service is usually at 9 A.M. and around that time, my bleeding decided to go nuts. haha, i kept praying and telling myself that I have a great GOD who is all powerful and that HE won't allow me to miss second service at 11 A.M. as they say, GOD is GOOD and a GREAT HEALER. i did manage to attend the second service, visit my family, and attend send-off gathering at my friend's place.

now, i'm just thankful that everything seems great. work is still crazy and my period stopped last wednesday or thursday. normally, it last weeks before it goes away for a long time. i'm also thankful for this newly-found belief in a mighty GOD. my faith isn't that strong yet, but i'm hopeful that with GOD's grace - anything is possible. TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!

incidentally, i have people who are helping me in this walk of faith, in knowing more about the Lord JESUS. i'm thankful for them since i met them at a time when i need it most. you guys know who you are. in fact, one of them celebrated her birthday yesterday. BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRACE!!!
the same group of people are actually helping out and organizing a career talk. they've invited multi-awarded motivational speaker, Francis Kong, to speak about Maximizing Productivity. the talk is truly great for employees and entrepreneurs alike. check out the poster below for details of the event. or you may also go to Radisson Blu Hotel's Sta. Maria ballroom. Outside the ballroom, there is a booth where you can get your tickets for the event. They'll be there the whole morning during Sunday service. After you score your tickets, why don't you come and attend the service? believe me, it'll be worth your while!

symptom free???

2012-04-27T21:06:00.003-07:00

not quite there yet. i'm even ashamed to admit that i sort of went back to my old ways of eating. now, i'm back to 141 lbs since the last time i weighed myself, the same time i last wrote here. almost exactly a year ago. i regained the 10 lbs from the 18 lbs i lost when i was strict about going on a diet to manage my symptoms.
May of last year, i vowed not to take any more contraceptive pills or any injections to try to regulate my period. while i still don't have regular periods, i feel healthier now than i ever was. i stopped tracking my erratic periods since last year, as i stopped bleeding altogether for months. from that day of may, i no longer had hellish periods. at best, i only had a drop or two of blood. so, i didn't consider them as a regular flow. the latest bleeding i had was sometime end of january 2012. i was no longer used to my heavy bleeding that i panicked a little. panicking is not good for my symptom, for if i do - then my bleeding gets worst. i had to skip work because of it again. luckily, the worst of it happened during a weekend and i only missed one day at work. since i had my last period on january 31, i still haven't gotten back to following the diet i made for myself. i'm back to drinking COKE sakto, eating pancakes, breads, spaghetti, and occasional canned tuna and pancit canton. i also couldn't stop myself from eating pork and beef again (darn burgers!). i realize that when i have my symptoms, the motivation to stick to eating healthy foods is at its strongest. however, since i don't bleed as often as before, i'm sliding backwards. it's NOT GOOD! i got my period back last tuesday. it stopped last wednesday but was back again thursday until now (saturday). while the flow is not heavy, only (2 to 3 pads), i deem it not a good sign. my period should have been gone by now. luckily, there is NO pain symptoms and it's not heavy even.
this should be a WAKE UP CALL for me. i should go back to being strict about my food intake. i should not wait until my worst symptoms come back. i just hope i get the resolve back to really avoid the foods i'm not supposed to eat. i need a great amount of resolve especially during the evenings. since i'm mostly alone at night, fighting the urge not to drop by the fastfood restaurants is getting hard. but if i managed to do the diet thing for 6 months, i should be able to get back to it, right?
so, help me GOD!

is there an option C

2011-05-02T21:04:00.001-07:00

my hormones are out of whack since i was 12 years old.

the past 6 months, though i still bleed heavily during the withdrawal period, i'd say my menstrual cycle was heavenly good. heavenly great in the sense that they come and disappear on a very REGULAR basis. so regular in fact that it usually appears on a Friday afternoon and be gone sometime on a Monday. generally, gone were the days when i would bleed for weeks.

now, i am supposed to take my 7th pack of ocp, but i didn't buy a pack for this month.
if i continue with my schedule, my rest days (off the pill days) in August will fall on the week i will travel to cambodia-vietnam. i definitely don't want this to happen because it means i won't be able to enjoy my trip.

sometime in january, i also decided to slightly alter my diet. about that time, i also decided that i will take the ocp for 6 months only. after that, i will get off the pills and allow my body to function without the help of synthetic hormones. so yeah, i stopped taking the pill beginning yesterday.

results: it's only Day 2 of not taking the pill and NOW, i've the mother of all headaches! well, i've had the headache since yesterday as well. in fact, i slept earlier than usual last night because of the darn headache. woke up with it, and it's still here. perhaps, time to renew my friendship with advil.

so this question is running in my head over and over: should i resume taking the pill and do away with the headache OR, let my body run its natural course and suffer from the daily headaches???

drat, can i have other options?

diet violation

2011-04-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

just when i was truly proud and shouted to the world about altering my diet to curb the symptoms of my adenomyosis, i did a major blunder today. TWICE - imagine that!

the violation was prompted by another violation against a personal policy not to bring work at home. last night, i came home late from a family dinner. thus, i didn't have time to buy vegetables to cook for breakfast the next day. when i arrived home, i readily checked on my mail to check if my boss had sent the feedback he promised. for some reason, i couldn't wait until work the next day to check on my mail. see, he promised that he'd reply that night. knowing the importance of the feedback, i convinced myself that it was okay to have a peek. see, a few years back, for health reasons, i've shunned bringing work at home. but that night, for a long while, i chose to work. i went over the samples i previously sent to check on his feedback. that move spiralled the never-ending thought process of figuring out how to meet an impossible deadline.

so today, knowing the work ahead of me - i had breakfast at jollibee - the no. 1 fastfood chain in the ph. then tonight, i went to mcdo for dinner. i had to finish something so i can focus on my real work priority the next day.

drat! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT FASTFOOD as the meals available there do not go well with my symptoms. but just like in the past, when i'm stressed at work - i always resort to eating in order to cope. very bad!!!

hopefully, i will do better the next few days as i can't go back to my USUAL DIET!

okay, enough ranting and back to the one that's causing the stress: WORK!!!

Is the Diet Working?

2011-04-03T11:36:00.000-07:00

I'd like to believe it IS.

Early this year, I had the worst of my adenomyosis symptoms. I was heavily bleeding [think at least 10 CR trips a day + half fist-sized blood clots + more or less 20 pads in 3 days] and had excruciating pain around my pelvic area and lower back for more than five days.

WARNING: gross picture!
This is my normal, especially on the first two days of my period.

Generally, only my family members know the extent of my suffering. It's mostly my mother who bears witness to this. Last January, however, a few friends saw first hand what it was like for me whenever I have my regular period. They witnessed and, now had an idea, what state I am usually in whenever I send help SMS. One friend even had to suffer through my let's-dance-to-rid-the-pain moment and pathetic moment at the ER of Velez Hospital in the wee hours of the night.

While I've suffered from this condition over the years, I've somehow came to accept that THAT was my norm. But that January episode made me rethink everything. I've been on depo injections to numerous oral contraceptives and nothing has really changed. I'm OK for three months or so, then I'm back to popping pills to enduring my symptoms. I've also changed OBs several times, and all were consistent about their prognosis: I WON'T DIE from my condition, and it will all be gone once I hit menopause (yay!) but I will just have to endure the bleeding and pain symptoms whenever I have my period [and NO, what i have is not normal dysmenorrhea, and NO, the pain is not in my head, and I'm not being a baby about it--the pain is real! I've high tolerance for pain, and for me to complain about pain only means that I'm in deep shit; somehow, making me understand why (dr.) HOUSE got hooked on Vicodin].

Anyway, given the prognosis, and the recent health scare that what I have may lead to uterine cancer, I told myself to give up on pharmacology and try changing my diet. A lot of women who have adenomyosis or endometriosis swore that changing their diet helped them a lot. True, the condition is still there, but at least, the diet helped curbed their symptoms--making life more tolerable and bearable for them. Since I was twelve years old (the first time I had my symptoms [I had my period at 10], and when I was diagnosed at 23, I relied on pills and mefenamic acid to control my symptoms. I never once considered altering my diet. HAHA! I'm a food lover. I love to eat, and it's usually the unhealthy ones i consume a lot of. As I live alone and too lazy to cook, I normally subsist on fast food, sandwiches, easy-to-cook pastas, instant noodles, breads, eggs, eggs, eggs, and canned tuna. Whenever i eat out, it's usually crispy pata, pastas, and grilled pork. I'm not a vegetable eater.

So when I got out of the ER that fateful January 10, I vowed to, at least, give altering my diet a chance. I revisited a book that I purchased a few years back from Amazon entitled Endometriosis: A Key to Healing and Fertility Through Nutrition. While the cases presented in the book involved mostly American women and naturally their food was different, this book still has been a great help in providing emotional support. It tells me that I'm not alone in this plight, and I'm not being a hypochondriac.

I also revisited old notes I had before from yahoosupport groups and fora on the condition (I don't think the groups are still active though), and hit on Google to come up with this list from various sites:

INCREASE INTAKE OF THE FOLLOWING:

evening primrose oil *taking this thrice daily
walnut oil
flax seeds/oil

DECREASE TOTAL CIRCULATING ESTROGEN

eat whole grains except WHEAT or RYE
*as breads, biscuits, pastas are mostly made from WHEAT flour, I've avoided eating them. Completely bread- and biscuit-free. I cheat on the pastas from time to time since I love pastas, so this will take me a while to fully give up
eat more beans, peas, & pulses
brown rice
*If I'm at home, I can manage with the brown rice. However, I cannot keep up with having brown rice all the time though because they're expensive; but when dining out, NO.
oatmeal * I try to only have oatmeal for breakfast, but with work, it's quite difficult since I need more energy to sustain the workday. So quite not there yet.

TO MODULATE ESTROGEN LEVELS, INCORPORATE 1 OR 2 SERVINGS DAILY

mustard greens *sometimes this
broccoli
cabbage *mostly this for me
turnips

DECREASE

saturated fats
lard/butter
animal or organ meat

*Am now using Olive oil for cooking or extra virgin oil for salads. But sometimes, I cheat also, hehe . . . as it's expensive.

FOODS TO AVOID

WHEAT (breads, cakes, pasta products, all based on wheat)
*Goodbye, Jollibee pancakes and Red ribbon meals
red meats because they promote (-) prostaglandins, which causes pain
*I can't give up my meat, so only taking them minimally, as in minimally just to have a taste; but goodbye burgers for me, another favorite)
refined and concentrated carbo (bread, flour, cakes from refined flours
refined sugars and honey because they cause inflammatory reactions
alcohol as it consumes vitamin B stored in the liver. No idea what's the vitamin B for. So no more beer or wine for me. At least, this is very easy as I'm not a heavy drinker.
chocolates [contains sugars]
*I love chocolates, but have given them up
dairy produce including all milk and cheese (inflammatory)
*Goodbye, fresh milk and pizza for me. Having difficulty giving up eggs as I love them, but have been slowly avoiding them. Goodbye, Mc Do and KFC
fried food, margarine, hydrogenated fats (stimulate (-) prostaglandin)
*Tinola (fish soup with tomato & spring onions) and inun-unan na isda (fish cooked in vinegar or paksiw) for me mostly
soy products and soy protein products
tinned, frozen, packaged foods
*Goodbye, canned tuna, bacon, and corned beef
additives and preservatives increase chemical load on the system)
*Goodbye, hot-and-spicy pancit canton, bulalo-flavor noodles, and junk food

NOTE: MEAT, DAIRY and EGGS PROMOTE the pro-inflammatory prostaglandins

Generally, this diet tries to lower the body's estrogen level. Without going into details, it appears that increased levels of estrogen in the body is causing all these womanly symptoms for me. So the goal is to lower them. The cruciferous family (cabbages and kin are known vegetables to lower estrogen level). Additionally, as my doctor has been telling me, losing weight also helps in keeping the symptoms to a minimum. Apparently, stored fats causes the body to produce MORE estrogen. So to lower the estrogen in the body, body fats must be eliminated, if possible. This is where exercise like yoga can come in. Yoga is the exercise that I have found most helpful (that is, when I don't get lazy and actually do the practice, even just the sun salutations.)

So there it goes. It's difficult for me to give up all the foods listed above. So what I do is to keep the amount to a minimum. Avoid what I can avoid. Currently, my diet is mostly more on vegetables and fruits and less on meat. No SODA if i can help it.

THE RESULTS:
I see a lot of improvement and promise.

--The number of days I bleed is now reduced to at most 3 to 4 days. Before I would bleed at least 7 days; sometimes lasting 3 weeks. For this cycle, period came PM on Friday, and it lasted only until Sunday. I only had little spots of red on Monday, allowing me to report to work (the first time I was not absent from work since my last DnC procedure in October)
--Pain is still there, but it's now tolerable. However, not tolerable enough yet to skip on the mefenamic
--Just for this cycle, the clots that came out weren't that numerous; thus, lesser pain this time. I also didn't have sleepless or painful night that usually occur around 2 AM.

I'm not totally pain-free, and I'm still on the pill (Gracial), but at least the number of days of suffering is NOW shorter. Perhaps, things will be much better IF I truly be strict about following the diet. Who knows, I may not need hormonal pills any longer just to control my bleeding. Crossing fingers on that, and totally missing pizza, pasta, and burger!

I hope some info here can help another co-sufferer!

UPDATE 2017:I have not taken any OCPs in the last three or five years to control my bleeding. I could only STRICTLY FOLLOW the above diet for at most six months (all foods were either steamed or boiled, no frying). But that six months have made all the difference. I still have adenomyosis, but thankfully, the pain symptoms have been alleviated (I'm no longer mefenamic-dependent for so long now). The only time I will have labor-like pains during my period (once or twice in the last few years) is when I don't keep my food intake to a minimum. If I resort to eating fast-food consecutively (at least, once a day) and eating wheat-based food (like what I'm doing the past few months), then chances are high that I will feel some pain during my cycle. Managing stress has also been helpful.

Please note that above diet is not recommended by doctors. By that I mean, nutrition and diet are not the specialty of the OBs that I consulted. So they were not in a position to confirm whether the diet was indeed the reason I eventually had no more pain symptoms. Additionally, the above compilation is basically what various women in the fora or websites I visited have deemed effective to THEIR CASE (unfortunately, I didn't list them). So what work for these women may not work necessarily work for you. As we have different bodies, we each might respond differently to these foods. What you can do best for yourself is try and try by process of elimination. Don't eliminate food items all at once. See how your body reacts once you eliminate the food item, and how it responds again if you reintroduce the said item again to your system. As in my case, the biggest culprit to my pain symptoms is when I don't watch out my red meat and WHEAT intake. Most of the women have said the same thing about wheat, perhaps you can start with that, and see where it goes.

a struggle

2011-02-11T21:47:00.000-08:00

i have adenomyosis. it's that condition wherein the uterine lining (that thing that lines the uterus in preparation for possible pregnancy) penetrates the uterine muscles, where it shouldn't have. because of this condition, a regular menstrual cycle for me usually involve heavy bleeding (think miscarriage proportions, where big blood clots are discharged!) and 10 out of 10 intense muscle cramping. i've had this condition since i was twelve years old. however, it was only when i was 24 that i had a label for the irregular, heavy bleeding, and pain symptoms i had back then. when i was in sixth grade, i went to my first ob. that experience didn't turn out pleasantly so i decided against seeking further medical help. i endured bouts of bleeding on a daily basis that lasted two or three weeks. of course, there were months that i had reprieve and didn't bleed at all. but when i do have my period back, it would return with a vengeance. when i thought i was mature enough and now had the resources to seek medical help, i saw my 4th ob. it was then that i got a name for my condition. she ordered a transrectal ultrasound of the uterus and it was there that i learned i had adenomyosis. ha, not only did i learn of the condition's name, i also learned that i won't die from this condition. while it's true that this condition is not debilitating, this condition, however, will afford me great discomfort and intense pain bordering on hampering social activities should i have my symptoms. i'm now almost 32 years old, and since i was 24 i was on/off different oral contraceptive pills (ocps) and depo provera shots until now. end of last year, the symptoms got so worse that my 5th and current ob ordered another ultrasound. the ultrasound result was suspicious of endometrial hyperplasia. it was because of this that i had to underwent a dilation and curettage (DnC or raspa in the vernacular) procedure last october 2010. DnC is another form of diagnostic procedure. my doc urged me to have this procedure done so we would find out what's going on with my uterus this time and rule out cancer for good. the biopsy from the DnC revealed that i had simple endometrial hyperplasia without atypia. though this sounds complicated, this was good news according to my doc. of the four types of hyperplasia, i got the 4th type - the noncancerous one!!! the other three are precursor to endometrial cancer, eventually leading to uterine cancer! thank GOD, right!?? in some respect, i am thankful, but in another respect i'm confused, hehe. the DnC was supposed to help ease up my symptoms. it only did for a month or two. after the DnC (oct. 30), i had depo shot (nov. 6). the shot was supposed to last for three months. i was given this treatment in order to halt my ovulation so that i won't bleed for months. this was done in the hopes of curing the hyperplasia. apparently, hyperplasia is dependent on estrogen production in your body. to cure this, estrogen production had to be suppressed, thus, the progesterone shot (via depo). unfortunately, barely a month from the depo shot, i was bleeding again. now, i've shifted to another oral contraceptive pill (gracial). my first pack of the pill didn't turn out quite well. i was intermittently bleeding. however, i continued with the pill thinking to give it time to work before i go running back to my doctor. as with other pills, there was a rest period (of 6 days before starting another pack). this rest period turned out to be my HELL!!! the pain symptoms were so intense and the bleeding equally heavy. it was so bad that i couldn't endure it and decided to visit velez hospital's E.R., but like my other previous ER visits, there's nothing much the doctors could do save for prescribe pain killers. the january episode led me to rethink my take on pharmacology. while i still trust (a little) in science, some parts of me want to try out the nutrition approach. to go back to basics and eat healthy. i've been switching from depo to pill to pill and yet nothing have come out of it, at least nothing that satisfies me permanently. it is for this reason, that i'm attempting to alter my diet. i'm a meat eater and a lover of UNhealthy foods (haha). so i'll see how switching from red meat to fish and greens will help my condition. the medical literature is very clear that THERE IS NO CURE for my condition except taking out the uterus out of the equation. the cure for my condition happens when i hit menopause. i'm very clear against hysterectomy, so - even if it's hard, i will attempt to eat healthy. definitely, i will slide back to eating my beloved pork, pastas, and cakes - but i will try hard to keep it to a minimal. i know it won't happen overnight, but if the initial results were to be replicated, then perhaps there's truth to the countless accounts of women suffering the same fate as i have that THERE IS A CURE FOR US By WAY of NUTRITION. since the last episode in january, i've been eating nothing but greens of the cruciferous family (cabbage etc.) and fish with very minimal intake of meat and ZERO intake of WHEAT products (breads, cakes, biscuits, pastas etc.) and DAIRY. my second rest period only lasted for 2 and half days. this is very good compared to my history of 5 days or weeks of misery from heavy bleeding and pain symptoms. so yeah, i want to continue eating greens and fish, but for the love of me - it's a very HARD struggle. i'm craving the meats, pastas, and everything sweet. ha, if the past three days were to be considered, MAN - i'm losing the battle. i so hope that i can sustain altering my diet! else, i suffer longer days. so help me GOD!

a while back..

2011-02-10T00:51:00.000-08:00

.... i made a promise to self that i will stop blogging about my beautiful uterus' condition. i made that promise because i thought paying too much attention to my beautiful u only aggravates things. that somehow, my world revolves around it so much, which is really sad to my mind.

but recent events are making me break that promise. i guess, i will just have to admit that much of my world revolve around it. i can't deny that it is somehow dictating how i do things. in as much as i truly wish to keep my experience with my beautiful u to myself, i now realize that there could be others like me out there. the one very good thing about the blogosphere is that it truly made the world smaller for everyone. every day, or at least most of the time i find myself searching for treatment, or anything that alleviates the symptoms of having adenomyosis. these searches led me to many accounts of women having far worse condition than what i have. somehow, reading accounts from other women of their own ordeals is in a way a big help to how i deal with my own. these readings give me HOPE. that though there may not be a cure to what we have, there are things we can do to make life more bearable.

thirdly, i will talk about my condition again because it's just too darn hard to keep it to myself. a friend once told me that writing can be a catharsis of sorts. so yeah, my next few posts may just be me blabbering about things uterus related and my attempts to make sense of them.

welcoming the pain, thanks to terry fox

2010-12-07T09:20:00.000-08:00

the salient thoughts running in my head right now are the following:

-i'm in pain, but i'm not dying. i will not die from this pain.
-i actually have several options when my pain and bleeding symptoms are at their peak:
a) i can just take in all the pain, and not complain
b) i can be proactive about the whole thing
c) i can hit my little yoga room and "try to" meditate the pain away
d) i can curse the too much blood clots coming out of my vagina
e) i can pop another dolfenal (mefenamic acid) to lessen the pain every time my uterus contracts to expel blood
f) i can pick up chuck palahniuk's fight club lying on my sofa and read
g) i can go back upstairs to my bed and attempt sleep OR
h) i can get a knife and slice the three-inch length of my beautiful uterus and end it all

-i'm scared that bad thoughts are starting to get inside my head. i'm not sure how long i could hold off the bad thoughts. i'm just thankful that i'm such a scaredy-cat at actually harming myself. heck, my body is doing a pretty good job without me lifting a finger. i hate that the pain and bleeding symptoms have this sense of control over me. every time i think about cutting up my uterus or wishing the taxi i'm in would crash, i only have to think of one man to snap me out of the dumpster. i only have to think of TERRY FOX, and i'm back to being grateful. i only recently heard of his name, but he's somehow a big inspiration about NOT QUITTING.
Read UP his story here. This picture of him has been imprinted in my head since i read about his story while editing an article for work.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

when i'm in pain, and terry fox's story comes to mind - i feel a bit of shame for being so negative about my whole situation. while shame is there, i definitely also feel deep gratitude that what i have is nothing compared to what he had endured.

SO yeah, LOVE LIFE or die trying..

PS. understand the negativity since i've been in and out of the john since 7 pm and to date, expelled almost half-fist size blood clots four or five times..

thankful or complaining???

2010-12-02T03:17:00.000-08:00

the year 2010 until its third quarter was truly great for me. in fact, it was so great that i thought it would end with a bang. of course i've only few considerations when i rate my year as spectacular or downright sad. one consideration is the chance to step on lands outside cebu, greater if it's outside the country. second is if i'm healthy. by healthy, i mean my beautiful uterus doesn't act up preventing me from doing my business. so yeah, the first three quarters met my two conditions. this year i was able to fly to bangkok, thailand and seoul, korea. locally, i had the chance to visit the northern places of cebu particularly the white beaches of bantayan island. in june, i enjoyed the northern part of luzon particularly the ilocos region. vigan never failed to amaze me. chavit singson's baluarte was awesome as i saw animals freely roaming the field. ha, i even saw a camel there. in laoag, i saw the late president marcos' remains. it was eerie looking at his remains knowing that he passed on several years ago. to top it all, the beaches in pagudpud were simply marvelous. the sands were so white and fine. lastly, i had a quick glimpse of the beauty that is clark and got a peek at mt. arayat, which we took for as mt. pinatubo. anyhow, it's only less than a month and the year 2010 bids farewell. last few days of october, i had a health scare. what i thought was a routine check-up with my ob - that is, have a quick chit-chat with her and her giving me hormonal pills to control my adenomyosis - turned out to be a start of my little paranoia over the big C. my doc refused to give me pills without knowing what's going on inside me. apparently, the health account i gave her was a cause of concern. thus, she ordered that i get myself an ultrasound. the ultrasound procedure over at cebu doc's center for women was uneventful until the ob-sonologist on duty made mention about my right ovary. up until then, my ovaries are fine. when asked what was amiss, she merely instructed me to have my scans read by my doc. as i am paranoid with my health and didn't want to have the same condition as my officemate, i proceeded to get another ultrasound. the second ultrasound was negative. my ovaries are fine. this news gave me relief until my doc saw my scans. she said my ovaries were the least of my worries. what i should be worried about is the hyperplasia. it turned out that my endometrium (uterine lining) was now too thick (1.7 cm normal is .55 mm) and that it may have hyperplastic etiology. in layman's term, my endometrium may have a condition that is a pre-cursor to uterine cancer. thus, my doc highly recommended that i undergo a dilation and curettage (DnC) in order to determine if my hyperplasia is pre-cancerous. ha, as i'm a freakin' virgin, the procedure scared the hell out of me. i asked my doc if i could do the procedure the following year just so i could end my year "feeling healthy". but my doc suggested otherwise. this increased my worry more as my doc was very conservative in her choice of treatment for me. the DnC was the very first aggressive procedure she recommended. given her approach, i took it as an alarm bell as she wouldn't have suggested it if nothing is amiss. so, i summoned up enough courage and had the procedure done and over with last october 30. luckily, the
biopsy result turned out negative. among the four types of hyperplasia, mine was the fourth type. i only had "simple endometrial hyperplasia without atypia." the other three were pre-cancerous. so yay to that! after i had my results, my doc put me on progesterone treatment. i would have three shots of depo-povera to hopefully cure the hyperplasia. i had my first shot of depo last november 6. it's almost a month since that last shot and my life can be described now as one hell of a ride. one moment i'm fine, the next i've bouts of headaches. sometimes my body feels so hot. other times, it's uncomfortable urinating. the depo is supposed to halt my ovulation. without ovulation, i'm not supposed to bleed. but last monday, i started to have blood spots. on tuesday, it was full blown bleeding with cramps and all the pain one can take in. so yeah, i'm back to popping mefenamic acids to kill the pain around my pelvis. currently, i'm not a huge fan of mefenamic acid, so i try to limit my intake to at least just two tablets a day. so in between the pill-popping, i'm in painland. i silently cry when the pain gets so intense, but on most hours i'm pretending that i don't feel pain at all. just like now, i'm pretending that i don't feel the poking sensation around my pelvis or that my lower back is not hurting. okay, there's a post it note in front of me now, it says "i am pain-free" and "attitude matters". okay, let's see how well these work. hopefully, the coming days wouldn't be as bad.

happy and grateful

2010-03-11T17:10:00.000-08:00

there aren't many days that i wake up really, really happy. but it appears that today is an exception. i woke up with so much lightness and deep sense of gratitude and happiness.

nope. i did not win the lottery nor snatch myself a boyfriend.

i'm happy and grateful because in the several years that went by, this month is the only month that i DID NOT HAVE TO POP A SINGLE PAINKILLER. yep, that's one source of happiness for me considering that not a month passed without me relying on painkillers to get me through hellish 5 to 8 days. and yes, i'm happy. ecstatic. and i'm going to repeat it again. I'M FREAKIN' HAPPY.

there are only two things i could attribute this pain-free days. One. The supplement of evening prime rose oil is working its magic. or Two. There really is such a thing as a miracle. I won't be ashamed to admit that because of my beautiful uterus' condition, i no longer have shame in trying out everything. For someone who's not very much a believer of organized religion, I discarded that notion last month and went to a healing mass over at Sto. Nino church last February 10. The mass was officiated by Fr. Fernando Suarez, a known healing priest based in Canada, whom I first knew about through Studio 23's TV mass held every Sunday. I can't describe the experience I had then. But all i can say, perhaps coming to that event with faith in my heart is the reason why i'm pain-free for the first time in years. So yeah, PRAISE TO HIS NAME. I love this one, JOKESTER. I hope it will continue. Again, thank you, thank you, jokester for this much happiness. to GOD be the glory!

faith

2010-02-08T14:18:00.000-08:00

he said this to me once: "just have faith, vet". all things will fall into place and things will be all right for you. just believe.

my mother is another believer. every chance she gets, she goes to this woman in san fernando. she's heard a lot of accounts that the woman, through the blessings of GOD the FATHER has the power to heal people. she's heard many stories of her success. she herself vouches for sister lily's ability to heal people especially if one believes in the power of God the Father.

then there's my sister. a few weeks ago, she texted me that there's a healing mass to be held at sto. rosario. now two days ago, she again texted me that fr. suarez will be visiting sto. nino this wednesday to celebrate a healing mass. fr. fernando suarez is known as a healing priest. he's based in canada now, but from to time he visits the PH to conduct healing masses. we knew of father suarez through the TV mass aired every sunday over at channel 23. a lot of people have also vouched for fr. suarez, that he's indeed been made instrument by GOD to heal people with their sickness.

i must confess that though i want to believe in all these, i am somehow blocked. yes, i've been to sister lily's for a few times and yes, i might consider attending tomorrow's mass [if i'm okay by then, hehe - i'm experiencing my symptoms since sunday] but then i question am i doing all these because i believe?

when you have people who hang on to faith for you, it's quite difficult to let them down. in as much as i sometimes like to give up the battle, i know at the back of my mind that i won't be able to forgive myself if i won't even try. so try i will.

i am at it again

2010-02-08T13:53:00.000-08:00

this ranting about pain in my pelvic area, somewhere above my tailbone each month is getting a tad boring. believe me, i'm tired of it. but i just don't know how to get around it. i used to remember that i'm stronger than any pain the world throws at me. what happened to that girl? i wonder. where is she now? i miss that girl - the girl who can take on the world without resorting to wetting her eyes.

each time, i tell myself that all this shall pass. that there will be light at the end of this dark tunnel. but who am i kidding? all this positive self-talk is getting too cliched that they no longer work for me. there's one thing that works, albeit temporarily, is me reaching out to the one person who somehow gives me hope. but even that has some expiry - in my mind. although he won't tell me up front to stop bothering him - THAT I KNOW for some reason - , there will come a time that he will walk out of this, eventually. the sad thing is, i won't be able to blame him. who would want someone who can't be stronger for herself?