A mermaid and her Mama

My 10 cents for your 2 cents

2012-02-02T10:55:00.000-07:00

So, lately there is much debate on SDK and pulling funding from Planned Parenthood.

Here’s my 10 cents for your 2 cents.

I did the research, and if you follow me, you know my support for SGK, and that I have this huge thing for being a part of something bigger.

There are so many think before you pink campaigns out there, and the big push behind them is that you should know how much of your purchase of pink widget goes towards the cause. People were complaining that the sales promotions had caps on them, like how much would be contributed or that there was a time frame that contributions would be made through, yet the promotions lasted much longer. Here is the deal with that- everything expires, and yes I agree those caps and time limits are not heavily advertised misleading people. Valid and legit. But it’s also common sense to a point (or at least to me). For a limited time is usually in the fine print somewhere. Here is a link of questions to ask yourself when considering purchasing a breast cancer support item. Bottom line though- do the research about the individual item. See if it aligns with your belief system.

You can do the research, and yes SGK pays out a TREMENDOUS amount towards salaries, and as a non-profit, I think that’s not ok. The pie chart of their expenditures will show you where their funds are going, and where they are not. Further research will tell you that SGK owns stock in Pharmaceutical companies, the very companies that make the drugs used to treat cancer, sounds like getting it on both sides if you ask me.

You’ve heard of the BBB, better business Bureau right? They have a charity side, and here is what they have to say about how SGK spends their money.

Bottom line, after all the research, all the statistics here is where I lie on the issue – even if SGK doesn’t give all of the money that I have personally raised, along with thousands of others, SOME of the money goes towards the cause. I read a statistic, I wish I could find it that in some instances, the donation can be as little as 10 cents on the dollar going to actual research for the cure. Not a lot. For the 3-day the statistic is 80 cents for every dollar goes towards funding research, who knows the real reality of that , could be more, could be less, but it is still SOME money. And in my world, some is better than none. I wanted to walk away from SGK when I heard about their choice to stop supporting Planned Parenthood. And I had to ask myself with all the hoopla going on, where did I really stand?

The argument that PP doesn’t provide mammograms is legit, they screen for breast cancer and refer out for the actual boobie squish. So SGK wants to give their grant money to a more direct source, I am okay with that, even though it makes me mad. It makes me mad because so many women utilize PP for services. Low cost birth control, annual well women’s at a discounted, income based rate for those who don’t have insurance – just to name a few. And yes PP is in the news these days for misusing tax payer funds and SO many of our politicians are using as a political platform, which I don’t think is fair. At the end of the day, taking away the grant money used for screening is still a disservice to women as they won’t get that screening somewhere else, because it is done in conjunction with the other services provided by PP. I think early detection for a population of people just went out the window when SGK pulled the funding, which goes against what they stand for. SGK says they have made the companies they fund through grants more accountable – accountability is good, but I hope the price isn’t the health of women, and that cancer cases rise as a result.

I am still committed to SGK, and I am still committed to finding a cure for this disease. Because I think the 10 cents I raise that goes to the cure is better than the 2 cents (your words) that the rest of America is giving the cause.

February #1

2012-02-01T22:02:00.001-07:00

My view... Everyone snoring while I plan...

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Accountability of an asshole

2012-01-30T21:53:00.001-07:00

We can be held accountable for our actions, and only our actions. Sometimes I want to show people the lesson and deny them the ability to have the experience that will eventually lead to the lesson.

People take advantage of kindness, and they mistake it for a weakness. My love recently got taken advantage of, in a monetary kinda way.

The amount of money is irrelevant, we all have our price, pick an amount that would infuriate you if your employer decided not to pay you it.

She was kind, she understood their financial hardship, and she allowed them to make payments, and the amount grew, because guess what happened the following week… SAME THING.

After a month of this, she walks away from a job that has been a financial blessing to us, and she walks away with an IOU that they have no intention of fulfilling.

The options

1) Sue them

2) Walk away, and hope they execute the IOU.

What do you choose and why?

(play jeopardy music in your head, and you will sound like me)

What did we do – we negotiated, I wanted door number 1, and C wanted door 2.

Before you gasp, remember the amount is irrelevant and look at the logic.

We all answer to someone higher than us, some might think its Karma, some heaven or hell – doesn’t matter same logic.

We reasoned with the child, and believe me when I say child, and this kid had the audacity to be angry at me for reading him state statutes that told him what he was doing was illegal, and offered no excuse for his behavior. Felt righteous in doing so, and mind you, this kid pretends to live by the 12-step program. One that encourages us to always do the next right thing, and hold our actions to a higher standard.

You can’t reason with someone that says one thing and does another – its like teaching a dog to walk on two legs, or a cat to bark – a waste of effort.

It was not easy to take door 2, and the accountant, mathy person in me wants door 1 so badly. The law is every ounce on our side and I could take this child for all of his hopes and dreams.

Or I could let the higher power dole out the punishment. Door 2 it is.

I gave the child the opportunity to do the next right thing, to pay the wages owed and make a bad decision right, and he choose to make what I believe is the wrong decision.

There is my opinion- I believe. It’s not for me to believe, he thinks in his mind he is doing the right thing, and looking out for number one, as he says, but what he forgets is tht number one is never yourself. It is someone else.

I wish him luck in his adventure through this life, and I can only hope that when the higher power makes the situation right I am around to be witness.

The saying karma is a bitch only if you are is true, and for that I can say I held him accountable, I didn’t belittle him, I was confident in my words and when I lay my head down tonight, I know I made the right choice.

Changin it up

2012-01-27T13:02:00.000-07:00

I want to make a commitment to doing something that matters in this world.

I’ve done the volunteer in my community thing, and I love how that feels, but I want to expand on that.

I read an article, on accident yesterday by the Owner of Zappo’s, it was about his plan to reinvent Las Vegas – This inspired me. This man, is committing his hard earned money to truly make a change. We all love visiting Las Vegas, but this guy moved his headquarters there, therefore his staff there, and therefore put the wheel in motion to make a difference in this community. Those people will pay taxes, spend money and start reestablishing a community that has fallen prey to the economy.

Now, I don’t have $400 million to reinvent a community, but I can make better choices with what I do have.

How can I make an impact? By supporting companies that support making a difference, by donating excess funds that I have to outreach programs, and by increasing my awareness.

A few years ago Toms were huge (they are footwear) and they still are, but the hype has gone away. Toms donates one pair of shoes for every pair purchased to a community in need. I was looking for a new pair of shoes (what girl doesn’t shop for shoes on her lunch) and I thought, do I really need another pair of chucks? And most of me said yes, the other part of me said – TRY THE TOMS. Make a difference.

So I have ordered TOM’s.

And I have started researching what the companies I shop at stand for.

I recently learned that Starbucks is putting their name behind, in support of, gay marriage and equal rights, and they are already fair trade. So they continue to have the green light for me.

Walmart and Target – though I despise Walmart, and Target isn’t much better – they are very budget friendly, my goal with these two companies is to find products within them that help me feel better about where my funds go.

The list goes on- I think that this year my support of the big box will be reduced greatly in favor of the mom and pop shops that at one point were the bread and butter of this great country. Small business Saturday was last month and to be honest – it should be all the time. You and I both know in our heart of hearts that it’s those stores that got us to where we are, and it’s companies like Zappo’s and Tom’s and so many others that want to do good with the profits they make that will make this country truly shine once again.

What can you do to make a difference? Every small change add’s up and creates a ripple affect, so never discount the little things that you do.

where the hell have I been??

2012-01-23T21:54:00.000-07:00

Two months??

Where have I been.. Ugh jeez I don’t think any f you really want the answer to that. But I am back, and I am looking for inspiration. Mainly due to the hustle and bustle that has been my life lately.

Let’s see, quick recap.

I got engaged to my lovely girlfriend.
I had an amazing time on the breast cancer walk, and am soo excited to participate next year in San Diego
Holiday season was great
The nuthouse – UGH chaotic and, well a nut house, every day a new adventure, that’s for sure.

Ummm, lets see what else can I tell you about… not much. SO how about some details.

The wedding – its going to happen in march, the engagement happened kinda like this.. It’s a funny story really, I swear. We are sitting on the couch in our respective spots, and you know what I mean, we all have our corner that we go to and it’s just kinda our spot. She comes over, and she gets in my spot and she’s acting all needy. So I say can I help you, she takes the remote, mutes the TV and I ‘m like really??? She takes the ring box out and hands it to me and basically says, so you’re gonna marry me, right? I almost died laughing. Said yes of course, and then 5 minutes later am drinking a mimosa and planning a wedding.

The breast cancer walk- I do not know what I was thinking when I decided I would deviate from everything I know not to do and didn’t train for. I start off the morning of the walk and put glide on my feet (wild hair up my ass I guess, because I have never done it before in my life) 5 hours later and I have blisters the size of a small country on my feet. Blisters that took MONTHS to go away. The walk, as always was an inspiration, and a beautiful moment. I loved spending the time with C’s sister and getting to know her more, and I loved the stories and the experience of the 3 Day. I am blessed and grateful for everyone who helped with my walk, to get my fundraising there, to support me, and to pray for the journey.

Holidays- the usual, dinner, presents, and family. I am sure not much different than at our house.

Obviously I didn't download them... Or I did and lost them, let's go with door number 1 for sanity's sake though.

The nuthouse – truly its an adventure. Somedays I hate it and someday’s I love it. I have to remind myself that I paid $50,000 to do this and I better like it J It’s been a hectic month at work, as expected it would be, Holiday season is winding down, orders are slowing, and the USDA pistachio contract we were awarded is almost over. Temper’s are high, and the stupid, stupid girl I work with is making it hard to not want to stab her in the eye. This week I think I had a melt down. Ok, I don’t think, I know. But I think I am on the upward swing. (More on that tomorrow).

So that’s the update. That’s where I have been, well I have been a lot of other places, this is just the trailer.

Hope life is blessed and beautiful in your world.

Xoxo

nic

Can Fear and Faith Exist at the Same time?

2011-11-20T22:08:00.000-07:00

Saturday at coffee with my love and our friend, we got on the topic of how fear impacts our every other action.
We do things, or don't do them, based on fears. Fears can be rational or irrational. They can be based on situations we create in our head or they can be based on our fear of judgement, the possibility of rejection or failure.
Sometimes our fears can push us to the edge and propel us to do something, and sometimes our fears can keep us bottled inside afraid.
I know what its like to live life in fear, to be afraid of what people might think, and to be afraid of will I like myself tomorrow if I do this. There are times where I am not afraid, and there are times when I am so scared I can't breathe.

So back to the point- can fear and faith exist at the same point.... The idea is that faith pushes out fear, because if you have faith then whatever happens the result will be ok, so our faith makes us fearless, but sometimes I think because of our fear we have faith. One of the people in the conversation said that you can have fear and faith at the exact same time... and I am not sure I agree, I think that you have to take your fear hat off and put your faith hat on when you make a decision to do something.

Take a fear of roller coasters, you are scared that the bolts will come undone and as you are about to take that last swirling twirling corkscrew the track will come apart and the car you are sitting in will fly straight through the air and you will be seat belted in with no escape.
You finally convince yourself that you want to conquer your fear and go for it... you are scared, but there comes a point where you decide, you can do this and that it will be okay and the bolts will not come loose. That moment, you transition from fear to faith. And therefore you are no longer in fear, you are in faith.
Making that transition you have to have courage. Sometimes you hold the fear hat, close to your chest, just incase you need to put it back on, but you take it off, and you wear the faith hat. You wear the faith hat, and you hope that the faith hat will cover you, will have enough armor to protect you, from the roller coaster, from judgement, or whatever else happens that brings you to your fears. Sometimes that faith hat is and sometimes it isn't.
Sometimes the faith hat is to small, and we get stuck in our fears, and we feel safe with our fear hat on, we shield ourselves behind it. Our faith gets shaken and we struggle to conquer the fear a little more the next time.
If you have faith you can't have fear at the same time, you can be have one or the other, but you cannot wear two hats at one time. Your fear will lead you to your faith, and your faith will lead you back to your fear. Its a cycle, sometimes we get stuck in our fear, and we forget that having faith our fear will diminish.

Lately, I have lived more in fear than in faith. I have allowed fear to rule the decisions that I have made. Today I have decided to take my fear hat off, and I'm going to hold it close to my chest, incase I need to cower behind it again, but for now, I am going to be courageous and put my faith hat on my pretty head and put one shaky foot forward and travel the path. Today I live for me.

Choices

2011-11-06T08:24:00.001-07:00

"Choice is the exploration of demure and then the selection of action. In every moment you are choosing either to align yourself with your own true path or to best away from it." Cherie Carter Scott

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The house is quiet

2011-10-12T21:44:00.000-07:00

And I have been playing out the past few weeks and months in my head, just kind of a mental recap, I have been busy with life. Copilots schedule has been hectic with school and friends and sports, and C and I have hardly had time to breath, we crawl into bed teach night and fall asleep quicker than the lights can get turned out.

I have been looking at my behaviors, and taking inventory. I admit I have been in ego mode. Not the kind of stuck up snotty ego, but the edging god out kind of ego. I have been a little judgmental of strangers lately. and quick to anger. and kind of preachy towards others.

forget everyone needs to have their own experience and that the person we are today shapes us into the person we are tomorrow. And if we are all in, than that means we are there while those experiences happen and we are there in the aftermath.

To have a friend is to be a friend.

I am grateful today as I sit in the quiet, I am grateful because I really do have some great people who surround me, and hold up the mirror when I need them too.

I also have some friends that I look forward to rekindling friendships with, I am hopeful that the person i was yesterday allows me to the person that I am today.

Why I do this.

2011-10-11T18:28:00.000-07:00

I firmly believe that there is a purpose for everything that we do. and everything that happens to us.

I think that there is a divine hand in the people that we come across, the reasons why some people stay and the reasons why others abandon us.

I recently went on a vaca, C and I took a train from Williams to the Grand Canyon, a place that I had never been. I have traveled around so many places, but not once have I seen the grand canyon. And this past weekend I had that opportunity, but the magnificence of the location was in some ways a side note to the train ride, and the purpose of this post.

You see my readers, the stewardess on the train, she was wearing a breast cancer ribbon pin on her name tag, and we all know that I have radar for that kinda stuff... Of course, never one to be shy, I compliment her on the pin. Her next words chill me. Her 37 year old daughter is a 4 month survivor.

Yup - one more reason why I walk, why I am so dedicated to the cause. I tell her that I am doing the 3 day in a few weeks and that I am glad that her daughter is a lucky one. She tears up talking about her daughter and the fight, and the toll it took on her. She lost her job because of the time away from it she needed to seek adequate care. Her kids suffered as her health was up and down.

Lorraine from the train, then did something that I didn't expect. She gave me a bracelet, and she asked me to wear it during my walk. And wear it I will. Her daughter is Brandy, and to hear that she fought the battle, and she is WINNING. means the world to me.

Why I walk - I walk for the Brandy's that are out there. And I walk proudly.

I wear pink - and I don't care. I wear pink because this disease only wins if you let it.

The last 3 hours

2011-09-30T22:34:00.000-07:00

I have been at Starbucks. Reading.

Why does that matter?

Because I have been reading Crash Into Me by Liz Seccurro (Amazon link here)

What’s so great about this book, that makes me all excited?

Let me tell you, I originally picked it up because the book sounded exciting, I am morbid and enjoy things like this. The autobiography is about Liz, and her 1984 rape, that the people around her at the time refused to handle what happened like adults, doing her a great disservice. In 2005 her attacker, as a part of his atonements (9^th step for you non-AAers out there) he needed to make an amends for causing harm to someone.

In doing so he admitted to raping her and he was sorry. If you keep reading this blog, I will ruin the book for you, but please understand I cannot even do it justice. It is a powerful read, its about finding your voice, no matter how long it takes.

She corresponds with him, she has vivid memories of what took place, but there were some blanks, and like anyone, she wanted him to suffer, not just be sorry. She lost her sense of security, she lost her innocence, because of this man, and all he could say was “he was sorry”.

People lashed out at her for prosecuting him after 20 years, saying that because he was in AA, and he was making amends that she should take that at face value and move on, that she wasn’t right for filing rape charges against him.

The details of her rape are horrific, the trauma for her was real, even 20 years later, apology or not she suffered from anxiety and panic disorder. She felt like not charging him for rape was letting him off the hook, and not holding him accountable for his behavior.

The book details the court proceedings, and the cover up story from the college she was attending at the time, how everyone was protecting the attacker and no one was being an advocate for the victim. Some said that by wearing a mini-skirt and attending a frat party, she asked for the rape, she made choices that lead to it and therefore it was her fault. She had people say that because she was married now and employed, she should just leave it alone and not dredge the situation up, and kids will be kids… Logic tells us that these responses are inappropriate, and that a crime should never be swept under the rug.

Why do I find the book amazing… she found her voice, she faced fears, and she took courage and she fought back. The length of time is irrelevant in my opinion, she fought back. She used her words and she told of her anguish, her pain and she healed.

The book talks about the 9^th step, and how when we wrong someone we should take steps to make the situation right, it talks about being accountable for choices, whether those choices are under the influence of alcohol, as was the case in this book. I think that the book has a sense of empowerment, and how we are all survivors of our own situations.

I enjoyed reading this book, and it reminded me of the importance of accountability, and standing up for those who aren’t strong enough to do it for themselves. The author works hard to be an advocate for victims of sexual assault, and I commend her for taking a stand, and I commend her for sharing her story.

Like her and I am sure many others, I believe her attacker got off easy, he served 5 months in jail and was required to perform community service about the dangers of alcohol on college campuses. REALLY??? That’s it???? I googled some of the news stories and people were making comments that he should never have even been convicted since he wouldn't have been caught if he hadn't been trying to make his life better and make the amends... I think that is some backwards logic, we all get held accountable at some point, and karma is a bitch. I am flabbergasted at the thought process that goes through a rapist mind that they can take something from someone without their consent. That is stealing. No means no. and punishment should be doles out if you don't respect that boundary.

Ok... really just go read it and enjoy it :)

Cancer only wins if YOU let it

2011-09-20T12:38:00.000-07:00

SO I did it.

I met my fundraising minimum for the 2011 Breast Cancer Walk.

And then I promptly registered to do the 2012 walk in the beautiful city of San Diego, California.

I cannot begin to thank all of the people who supported me along the fundraising journey.

I cannot begin to express how full my heart is for all of the people who believe in everything that I am doing.

I cannot begin to form the words necessary to make anyone understand what participating in this event means to me. Its so funny, I train with and talk with so many people, their families are stricken with this disease, and it seems like the more you talk about it the more people say... Really you too??

For all of the women out their that fight breast cancer, I salute your battle. For those of you in remission, please never forget the journey, please never forget how precious life really is.

For all of the family that have held the hands of their loved ones, while watching poison enter their bodies... I proudly stand next to you in support of a task that NO one should ever have to live through.

Breast cancer wins, if you let it. Stay strong in your fight, know that early detection saves lives.

I am working on putting together my fundraising plan for the 2012 San Diego walk... I am excited and nervous... I really love getting to walk with my family and friends, but I think that taking the walk to San Diego will give me another amazing opportunity!

Stay tuned for the journey, and remember, you can always donate to the cause, even though my 2011 fundraising goal is met, the race is on for 2012

tick tick tock goes the clock

2011-09-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

So life lately… crazy huh?

What’s new in my world… well aside from working on the remodel to the house, I had a ton of dental work done and its been busy busy busy..

Copilot is back into cross country season, full swing ahead, Dub has been doing really good at work, and I have been busy just trying to stay afloat. Partylite for the breast cancer walk has been on FIRE. My training is off the chain, with the walk in 52 days, everyone at work is falling off the face of the planet, and it always seems like it is one thing after the other.

I have struggled with staying grounded lately, I guess not enough me time to stay centered. It seems kind of sad, I have so many amazing things all in the works these days, and such great plans, I just haven’t taken the moment to reflect on all the good things. My VP at work today stopped by my desk and said you doin’ ok kid? I gave the standard answer yea yea totally great, you? And he said I meant your spirit… I was like WOAH. How is my spirit, good question, I have been totally going through the motions lately that I haven’t checked into my spirit the past week or two. We went to church Sunday and the sermon was so uninspiring, and I have been so exhausted with all that makes up this life that I haven’t even found the time to read the morning devotional that comes in my inbox.

To be inspired and not run by my to-do list… that is where I want to put some focus. Dub and I were looking at the calendar to TRY to schedule a date. How ridiculous is that?? Normal in a busy life, I guess, but that’s not what I want to do with my life. That isn’t how I want to live.

I am working on a new goal … make time for me.

I forget that to be the best person for my family I have to be the best me, and lately I have been to wrapped up in how busy my life is. I need to be a better friend, to myself so that I can be a better friend to others.

2012 Decisions...

2011-09-14T10:10:00.000-07:00

So do I register for the 3 day Susan G. Komen for the cure 2012 in Phoenix or San Diego?
It has been a goal of mine to be a crew member for the Phoenix walk and to do the actual walking in San Diego… I really really wanna do it, but I guess part of me is nervous. I love being here and having support around me, when I did the walk last time, I had some really great people being my personal crew members, they picked up my shoes, they took us to Walgreens once to get something, and were just great support people, and I anticipate the same thing for this year when I walk in 8 weeks… walking in San Diego I would probably lose that support. I know Dub would fly out and be my support, but my friends wouldn’t be there for the closing ceremony and at cheering stations. I am asking myself why that is a goal, I don’t know anyone in San Diego, so what is the motivation?
Here is the only thing I can thing of:

Why not.

The weather will be amazing, we walk along Mission Beach, its one of the longest running walks so the cheering stations are intense. I want to crew because I think that the crew members are so important to the success of the walk. I am no longer scared of raising the money. I in my gut believe that if your heart is in the right place the funds will come. To do the crew and walk I would need to raise nearly $3,000 instead of the $2300 to just be a walker. It is a much larger time commitment, since the Phoenix walk is one weekend and then San Diego walk is the following weekend, so it would be a very strenuous event….
I think am scared to commit to it. Where there is a will there is a way… and I think going somewhere to do the event would make it that much more amazing… but yet even as I type this I struggle back and forth with what I should do…

Decisions Decisions.

LOVE IT

2011-09-07T07:49:00.001-07:00

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Ripple effect

2011-09-07T07:48:00.001-07:00

I have always believed that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value." –Hermann Hesse

Everyone and every action matters. A smile can be the difference between a good day and a great day. A quarter inch can make a great haircut be amazing and an extra scoop of gravy on your potatoes can make all the difference.

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Play nice

2011-08-29T07:06:00.001-07:00

Look at children. Of course they may quarrel, but generally speaking they do not harborill feelings as much or as long as adults do. Most adults have the advantage of education over children, but what is the use of an education if they show a big smile while hiding negative feelings deep inside? Children dont usually act in such a manner.. If they feel angry with someone, they express it, and then it is finished. They can still play with that person the following day. -His Holiness the Dalai Lama, "Imagine All the People"

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Confidence

2011-08-29T07:00:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I'm shaken, I'm torn and I'm asking those questions.... I harangue answer like this, and I know in my heart of hearts I'm ok. I have a service heart, and being so small, just me, I ask myself and I ask God - can I make a difference. And when I doubt myself the most my guardian angels step in and remind me that if I can touch just one person I can make a difference.
Make a difference today...

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GREATful Thursday

2011-08-18T21:11:00.000-07:00

Let's see... I am greatful for:

1) employment. Even if some days I dislike my job... and not really dislike it, I dislike that I am genetically engineered to give a shit and work my ass off, even though I feel like other people are lazy. I have spent this entire week reminding myself that I am responsible for ME, not others and their work ethic or habits. Its difficult to come to terms with the fact that I am nearing 30, and an amazing worker who puts in more time at this job then I really should but because of who I am, I can't do anything different. I have impeccable work ethic, and not everyone else does, and that's ok... keeping my own side of the street clean.

2) a belief that I can make a difference.

3) soft pillows that let me rest my weary head at night so that I feel well rested when I wake up even if the quantity of hours of sleep is on the less then I would like side.

Your turn :) Think about somethings that you are greatful for and jot them down and share :)

Candles and boobs

2011-08-18T20:49:00.002-07:00

SOOOO...

How's the fundraising going for your 3 day?

AMAZING. I cannot say thank you enough to the people who have booked parties, ordered candles and been apart of my journey. My yard sale was a fantastic hit, and I have had a few friends, and even my dentist support this cause.

The statistics suck, the disease is awful, but I really feel like I am apart of something that is making a difference. I am excited to participate in this year's walk. I am excited to prepare for it. I am excited for every partylite party that I have had. I am excited to plan my fun outfits, and I even ordered some super fabulous knee high's!!

I just want to say thank you again to everyone who has supported me along the way. To the special little girls who had a lemonade stand, I am grateful. Check that post out here! To the many hosts that I have had from partylite I love you all bunches and to everyone else.. I am beyond blessed....

Here is a peak at how my night went :) The latest partylite party :)

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Love my second job!!

2011-08-13T09:46:00.001-07:00

If you need a second job and can find one you love then you will survive. I started partylite 8 months ago and had my reservations.. remember I started it so I could donate my commissions to my breast cancer walk because I felt like it was the easiest way for me ask my friends to.support.my cause. Never knew is actually love it :) I have been blessed to have as many parties as I have and really build this business. I have 2 parties today and I'm excited. The momentum continues to build and I know very soon I will have met my fundraising goal!! Thanks partylite for being a great product making it simple for me to have an extra job and raise the money I need to make a difference in this world.

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humble thyself

2011-08-01T21:24:00.001-07:00

ego - –noun, plural e·gos.

the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling,and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves ofothers and from objects of its thought

pride - –noun

a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity,importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished inthe mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct

Two things that at times we all struggle to control. I like the dictionary definition of ego - the I or self of any person. When we use the word, "I" we are talking about ourselves, therefore if we are not careful for the words that follow the "I" we could be in danger of being in our ego. I know a lot of people that talk about themselves, and they do so in an "in their ego" kind of way. You know them too... they are the people to busy thinking of their response to really listen to what you are saying, or the person texting while you are talking. A prideful person is easy to see as well.. they are the ones pointing out everything they have done right, and probably everything that you have done wrong.
Carolyn has this saying - if you can spot it that means either you have it or you had it... meaning if I can pick out a person who is prideful, or in their ego, either I am in mine or I have been, making it familiar territory for me to recognize.

We all have ego or pride moments... its how long those moments last and if we are like that more often then not that counts.

humble - –adjective

not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.

That's the word I want to be more associated with. Humble, and thankful, aware and sensitive. Sometimes I don't remember that everyone is fighting their own battle, on the inside or on the outside, and I snap at people, and have less patience then I should. I get wrapped up in me" that I forget about "you". And that is not fair. Work has been such a pita lately, I want so badly to be amazing at my job and to be caught up that I put in extra hours and then I end up cheating my family out of me. I would love to say that here is where I say I won't do that anymore, but its not that kind of post. It's the post where I become aware and I say I am sorry, and I realize that the moments that I am home I need to be more present and not so stressed out... I need to leave the stress at the door when I walk into the home my lovely girls have prepared for me.

Smell roses, stand in the rain, watch a bird fly. slow the fu(k down. that's my plan.

People have situations, and I don't have to be aware of them to know that I can still be kind and patient. I can also remember that what I want in life and from people is my side of the street to sweep. My behavior is my control, theirs is not. I cannot control what they do, but I can control my feelings and my words and my actions.

Beautiful

2011-07-24T08:44:00.001-07:00

Now this I love!!! Way to go new york!!

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Hhmmmmm

2011-07-19T23:08:00.001-07:00

Something to ponder

You were born with an incredible gift –one that is so beautiful, so profound, so magnificent that words can only barely begin to describe it. This gift is the spark of infinite wisdom that lives within you. It is that part of you that is eternal. It is the core of who you are, and yet it is possible that you have not begun to realize the full potential of this gift. This spark –also known as your essential spirit –is the key to living the life that you are meant to live. Making a strong and lasting connection with your essential spirit is the key to a life full of health, happiness, and success! Unfortunately, due to busy, hectic lives, many people are feeling drained, burned out, and disconnected from their essential spirit. If you are one of these people, it is likely that it is time to go on a spiritual retreat…a time to have a conference with your spirit. A conference with your spirit is a planned time away from daily routine to reconnect with your essential spirit more fully. It is a time to BE rather than DO. It is a time to allow the energy and beauty of the earth to wash away any stress/tension. It is a time to be quiet and still in order to hear your intuitive voice. Perhaps, most importantly, it is a time to evaluate where you are and where you are going to make sure you are aligned with your soul purpose

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE: beliefnet.com

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Grateful Thursday

2011-07-14T22:14:00.001-07:00

What am I grateful for right here and right now...

1) new floors... construction has been underway at my house and its been super exciting. Today we got new metallic essence flooring installed. I can't wait to get out of this hotel and go home tomorrow to see the new flooring. I have been waiting for the past 6 months to get this project done and I can't wait

2) Conversations with people who encourage me to grow. This week at the nut house I have been blessed with conversations with 2 people that gave me so much insight and inspiration and for that I am thankful. I got to share my faith and journey and I got to learn about another person's experience in life and both meant a lot to me

3) The sound of my girls sleeping. I don't think I appreciate Dub enough, she does so much and I know there are moments where my frustration lashes out towards her more then it should. She's brought so many amazing things to my life and I love *our* life, but I know the stress of work for me lately has caused us strain, but as she sleeps I am reminded of her tender soul. And copilot- oh my her curiosity lately has been overwhelming. After spending a month a part she has been more clingy then before, and though I adore her and love the attention, there are moments where thoughts of selling her to the gypsies has crossed my mind. These two ladies make my heart skip a beat, they remind me of so many things and I am blessed to be apart of their worlds.

being reminded of the things that I am grateful for keeps me grounded. I hope that you take the time to look at your life, and the blessings, and I hope they far outweigh the negative stresses.

Would you cross the room...

2011-07-14T22:06:00.000-07:00

Today while at work at the nut house I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker. She was talking about beliefs, and how we grow over time. We don't all stand for the things we once did, and sometimes our convictions become even deeper, and sometimes we meet people who change our lives, and our opinions.

We were talking and she was talking about how she grew up thinking one way and went her whole life with this opinion, then one day her eyes became more open, and she went deeper in her soul and she grew, her opinions for things shifted.

She was doing this exercise where you stand along a wall, and the instructor makes a statement, and if you agree you stay along the wall, but of you do not agree, you have to walk across the room and stand on the other wall. The point of the exercise is to test your beliefs, test your faith, test your conviction.

I like this exercise a lot. It requires the participants to look at themselves. Do you really stand for it, will you cross the room, to prove you stand for something or will you, faced with admission, cross that wall and affirm the things you say you stand for.

Words and actions... if you believe in something, how far are you willing to go to support it?

I believe in a lot of things, and I would like to think that I would cross the room. I am not afraid to stand up for the people, and the things I believe in. I think it matters, and I think its important to say what you mean, mean what you say and cross the dang room. We hear, practice what you preach, but I think that this story goes further.

And I think it also makes you look at the things you support, and ask yourself, do I really believe this, or do I believe it because its socially acceptable, or because my friends think this way. It makes you look at the things you stand for, and really ask yourself WHY you believe them.

I can honestly tell you that the next time I decide to believe something, asking myself, will I walk across the room alone to n support of this belief unafraid of what others think, and if the answer is yes then I know I am being true to my heart and soul.