Sex on the Beach Magazine

2013-02-22T21:53:00.003-08:00

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2013-02-22T21:53:00.001-08:00

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Burial of a Union: Ev Ochocinco no Mas!!!

2012-09-13T19:21:00.001-07:00

So Chad sobered up and came down from the clouds to finally agree upon signing divorce docs in a South Floridian court today. Jeeze marriage sure isn't sacred anymore! Thank goodness I am blessed to celebrate my one year anniversary this month because marriage these days is as short lived as knats! Onto the next baller...

TMZ

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Bitter Bitchiness: Tameka Files Appeal for Custody

2012-09-01T05:08:00.001-07:00

Alright enough! You want custody of kids that you won't even be around long enough to read a bedtime story TITLE to boo! You'll be running around assuming the socialiteness life that your EX gifted to you and sticking the rearing duties with the nanny so why are you fighting the man who gave you the late in life cash cows babies that you so desperately plotted for??? I'm tired of this broads shenanigans...find another baller and move on already...

Credits:TMZ

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Exclusive Video: Lozada Interview on Nightline

2012-09-01T04:47:00.001-07:00

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Condoms supporting Presidential Candidates?

2012-08-27T05:51:00.001-07:00

I've heard it all...An NY based company dealing condoms came up with a line that allows supporters to rep their presidential picks in time for the fastly approaching elections. I don't believe either man has co-signed this endeavor yet it is indeed hilarious. The Romney rubber guarantees to be "great for any position" while Obama's glove promises to "not break as easily as his promises"---booooooooo!!! Besides shade thrown, the company takes a neutral position and boasts either way we're screwed! Check out the features on the gift pack:

Features and Benefits of the Obama Condom:

•Obama Condoms are black to make her feel like the first lady.

•Obama Condoms are the Ultimate Stimulus Package for hard times.

•Hope Is Not A Form of Protection.

Features and Benefits of the Romney Condom:

•Priced so low, even poor people can afford them.

•Great for switching positions, just like Mitt.

•This is one "Safety Net" that dosn't have any holes.

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EBT PREMIER: Real Husbands of Hollywood

2012-08-27T05:32:00.001-07:00

Guess comedian Kevin Hart had the right idea when he gave the world a sample of what a good reality series might look like if you extract progesterone + add testosterone + use "real" spouses= ha ha ha! The Real Husbands of Hollywood is beefing up its cast members with the likes of sexy Boris Kodjoe, Faizon Love, Nick Cannon, funny man Hart is starring, Robin Thicke, J.B. Smoove, and my 90s boo thang Duane Martin...the series will kick off in 2013...wonder if their women will be shot and if it'll be drama or all chuckles?!!

New Husbands Cast Members Announced | New Shows | Shows | BET

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Dads Have Rights Too!|

2012-08-25T05:01:00.001-07:00

A Georgia court ruled that apparently Usher Raymond is a more "adequate" parenting fit as he is governed primary custody of his 2 youngins with Tameka Foster Raymond. This will surely be an ego blow to the woman that was trying desperately to thorn that a$$ using keep a ninja tactics. He's a good baby daddy so all will be well in the universe...

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Tupac's Love for Jada

2012-08-20T04:39:00.001-07:00

This was a sweet, and inspirational poem Tupac wrote for Jada back in the day...it is so innocent and pure like love and friendship should be!!

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Rihanna dishes on Feelings for Chris

2012-08-20T04:31:00.001-07:00

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When alove Hurts! (the Rihanna/Lozada Dilemma)

2012-08-20T04:29:00.001-07:00

TMZ recently reported on Rihanna's recent sit down exclusively featured on Oprah's Next Chapter. It is a gazillion years later and she still chokes up on the subject...at least she's open about it and the two have made amends and moved forward. I do believe she is just passing the time by with these random other dudes because money can buy everything, however, it can't buy off the public eye and scrutiny.

Maybe they're using ploys to keep us fooled (e.g. Karreuche)...Now Evelyn, on the other hand, is not even budging for Chad. Sucks she has to turn down public appearances during the height of her author gig but I'm certain that book is selling itself right about now. Poor Ocho just retired his own career...he better link up with Breezy's publicist and strategize a comeback!!

TMZ

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Sisterhood Hateration...

2012-08-17T04:20:00.001-07:00

I realize that though we are spawned from all walks of life, we as women still have the common grounds of still fighting for our rights to have equal opportunities and fair treatment in this world that still puts men first!

Add to that the many experiences we similarly can relate to...having ours dreams crushed by a man and reinstated by a child, undergoing the nightmares of navigating up the blockaded corporate latter or facing the fears of tackling a new enterprise solo, finally meeting the loves of our lives, hustling during times of financial turmoil, drama with maintaining friendships, health calamities, hardships of childrearing, and struggles to maintain our sense of commitment to "self"...it's all A LOT and further supports why we should embrace one another and help pick another sister up when down but also boosting another during times of success and progression.

I found through my life experiences that people are hard to find on both polar ends-- when you're struggling the most AND when you're living your best life. It's almost as though we are afraid to share sorrow and joy in a close manner with our inner circles.

Do not mind my thoughts out loud and rambling as it is merely my opinion, but ask yourself...am I my Sisters' Keeper? Have I placed myself in a position to mentally and emotionally and physically "be there" for another woman who is my friend and/or family? This isn't just lending an occasional ear, gossiping, and offering an unwanted opinion. It means offering assistance, being available and present, and being in touch no matter whether the forecast is sunny or a chance of rain. I, myself, have glitches in this department. We as women offer our entire beings to a man for all kinds of supporr yet we are unwilling to unveil the same delivery for our sisters. Time to wake up the world and put in work!!!

--xoxo Goddess

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Where was I when Trojan gave away 10,000 Vibrators???

2012-08-13T04:38:00.001-07:00

Wowzers...Trojan Vibrations, the renowned condom-maker's personal massager line, proceeded to hand out 10,000 free vibrators at locations throughout Manhattan last week...the crowds were so massive officials had to shut the operation down!!!

Deploying two purple, hot dog-style "Pleasure Carts," Trojan reps attempted to give away 5,000 of the Tri-Phoria device, which retails for $40,and 5,000 of the Pulse, which retails for $30.

Trojan is proclaiming the two-day event as the "largest vibrator giveaway of its kind," according to a PR Newswire press release.

The Trojan brand, a division of Church & Dwight Company,has been around for 90 years, according to its website.

Offering a vast array of more than 29 different types of latex condoms, lubricants and other items,the brand only recently entered into the vibrator market in 2009, according to a 2010 The New York Times article.

Since then, however, the company has been advertising the products aggressively, spending $10.5 million in advertising on the Vibrations line alone,the newspaper reports.

This promotion is part of a campaign to normalize vibrator use and stray from its taboo reputation!

“What we’re doing is taking something like a hot dog cart that is so everyday and so mainstream,” Bruce Weiss, vice president for marketing at Trojan, told the Times. “... We’re showing people that vibrators are mainstream.”

Trojan's research points to a potentially lucrative market for the devices.

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Looks like another Love T.K.O. for Evelyn Lozada

2012-08-13T04:19:00.001-07:00

Apparently over the weekend basketball wives star Evelyn Lozada went head to head literally with her husband of less than a month-- Chad Ochocinco Johnson or whatever (by the way, I think male name changes past 30 is the new mid life crisis). I believe Chad had mistaken the moment for a pre-season drill lol and though he repeatedly shouted "F-ck my career", I don't think he realized that pulling Chris Brown stunts will help his bank account in the long run...and we all know that is the primary reason Ev is. C'mon, the man looks like anteater!! I can just see his endorsement partnerships sashaying stage left as we speak.

Who knows, maybe its his charm...he's a funny dude though he strikes me as having a mental disorder of sorts. Now, the real question is will Evelyn crack after being pressured by the media, family, and friends or is being "about that life" too much to pass up, I mean, not everyone has a lip gloss line and she did put forth plans to close up shop on Dulce in Brickell!

Do I think she should leave him? Well, I don't think it's the first time they had a run in...I do feel that giving him a pass will open the door for future whoopings. You be the judge...

Update: he has made bail and is facing battery charges as directed by a judge in a Miami-Dade courtroom.

Worse yet: As of today, he was cut by the Miami Dolphins due to the drama as reported by TMZ...it's a wrap!!

Sinful Saturdays: Eye Candy from the Motherland

2012-08-11T11:00:00.001-07:00

Ohhh my! Enjoy your weekend it's going to be a hot, wet one ;-)

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K.Michelle/Toya: Storms a Brewin'

2012-08-09T08:22:00.001-07:00

Somebody is about to get a wig split. Just a matter of time before these broads stumble upon one another and get it poppin'. I agree with Toya in her interview below...K.M. needs to support evidence of allegations at this point its go hard or go home! Though I love her bait calling Toya "dcik thirsty", I don't think it applies to matrimony boo! A married girl reserves the right to be a dcik fiend for her hubby so you lose this round chica...

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Kitchen Pointers for the Turnkey Wifey!

2012-08-09T07:48:00.001-07:00

Feeling all alone and confused..overwhelmed? Don't blame ya. No one prepares the single woman turned overnight bride on how to handle wifey duties and,primarily, cooking basics when you're accustomed to fast food runs or dinner with lady friends. Now, your man wants you "home" and whipping up love dishes. Let's say you have basic kitchen familiarity down pact yet you are fresh out of ideas and vexed about what a Man likes to eat. Here's my crash course on meal suggestions to get you purposeful and accustomed to simple meals of bliss...plus they are quickies..the kind we like!

Breakfast favorites:

•Whip up scrambled eggs with garlic, onion, green pepper, season salt and pair it with a steak or poultry. For flair, pour veggies onto the egg and make a breakfast fajita!

•Old fashioned pancakes or waffles with fruit toppings paired with sausage or bacon unless your vegan.

•My household fave: 10 minute oven baked Grands buttermilk buscuits with natural preserves and butter!

Lunch / Dinner Rush:

• Salad with hard boiled egg, diced onion, roma tomatoes, shredded carrots, olive oil, oregano, a dash of seasoning, and top off with your dressing of choice. Pair the salad witb a club sandwich. For the greedy man, this may not be enough so you will need to make "smaller" proportions of dinner selections such as...
•Rice with pan fried chicken (no breading or flouring necessary unless you need the occasional indulgence of cholesterol). I sometimes like to give my chicken an Italian "gravy" by pouring Alfredo sauce or 4 cheese sauce on my chicken and its a great compliment to the rice! If you want to give it Latin power punch, take 5 minutes to pan fry plaintains...the key to supple plaintains is to cook them almost fully submersed in cooking oil.....otherwise they will be crispy!

•Pasta with smoked,pre-cooked sausage. Add flair with mushrooms,garlic, or I add roma tomatoes to stew into store bought sauce! Pair up with a side salad and fresh baked bread from your local bakery. Keep in mind that just because YOU'RE avoiding carbs, he isn't!!

• Pan fry skinless, boneless fish with lots of squeezed on lemon or lime, garlic, sauteed onions. I love tomatoes so I add in tomatoes for a light sautee when the fish is almost done. If you want latin flair, make a tomato sauce and add some "Goya" ish seasonings :) I like to change up the rice by adding seasonings to recreate yellow rice with veggies like peas and onions. Another option complimentary to fresh fish is macaroni and cheese the good ol'fashioned boxed delight.

•Already stuffed and seasoned tilapia or salmon with crabmeat can be found in your grocery store and it cooks in 15 minutes just by pan searing! You caan also get steamed shrimp and make shrimp with rice.

•For soul food lovers pressed for time, make fried or barbecue chicken, and pair with the following veggie options: steamed cabbage, mashed sweet potatoes or baked with marshmellows, dirty rice or wild rice, string beans, cornbread from Jiffy's, or mashed potatoes and gravy.

Drink Specialties:

I prefer making banana shakes for breakfast by using bananas, raw sugar, milk, and ice. Try natural juices anytime of the day and put your blender to use with following fruit options that are easy to peel: mango juice, papaya, strawberry and banana, mixed berries, and watermelon.

If you want to play bartender, get cocktail mixes from the store and liquor and follow the EZ directions for making daiquiris, margaritas, mojitos, and other mixed faves created with a shaker or your blender.

Ok..well this should give you a flying chance in Dante's Inferno!!!

--xoxo Goddess

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70 yr Old Virgin??

2012-08-07T07:27:00.001-07:00

Wow, this poor dame missed prime sex opportunities with strapping lads that can keep it up for christs sake!

Pam Shaw: 70-Year-Old British Virgin Looks For Suitor - The Huffington Post

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What in Sex Hell will Octomom do Next??

2012-08-07T07:16:00.001-07:00

Somebody gag me!! I mean, when you thought to open your bottomless womb to house 14 fetuses courtesy of IVF did you not think of how you would finance your football team? And now you're selling your womb and marketing 10 seconds of fame in a recession? Bish please!!

The 37-year-old desparate mega mom has created a profile on the dating website WhatsYourPrice.com. This site allows users to bid money for dates with "smart, sexy people."

Her profile states: "My name is Nadya. I have 14 children. I am a single mom and have been celibate for 14 years, all my children were through IVF. If I have to describe myself I would say I am full of energy, love to work out (when I can get a chance), I am very athletic and love to laugh."' (Now, how can she be "celibate" after her recent porn endeavors??)

Octomom's ideal date is "working out or doing something athletic and then having a nice dinner."

She does not reveal her net worth, but she does say that she is interested in everything from a short-term relationship to mutually beneficial arrangements (Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby).

Is this her way of legally prostituting her retired womb? You be the judge...

P.S.--I will hate on the wench for having a flat tummy after all them damn kiddies! One kiddie for me and I look like World War II bomb victim!!

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The Game: Marriage Mind Fcuks will Cost Ya!

2012-08-07T06:57:00.001-07:00

Rapper the Game revealed to TMZ paps that he's glad his wedding and moment in the spotlight is back on but at the high stakes of $100k and he's not even caking like that to be losing a hunnit grand!! This was the effect of changing venues and other minute details. Better not dodge the bullet again you little rascal. TMZ captured his humorous revelation of this realization on video... TMZ

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Friday Fantasies: Italian Delight!

2012-08-03T06:40:00.001-07:00

And here you have it. Permission to be speechless!</p>
<p>TGIF...</p>

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Stop Before You Sext!

2012-08-03T06:26:00.001-07:00

Everything has damn guidelines and sexting your man is no exception! Excel or lose with these pointers that will have you mind fcuking in no time...

1. Don't use abbrevs. Part of the reason why sexting is so hot is because when you read a sext, it's as if the sender is talking dirty to you. This is why, when sexting, it's important to use full words and speak verbatim. In the middle of a sac-sesh, you would never use abbreviations to talk to dirty, so don't use them in a sext to cut back letters. It takes away from the whole point of sexting. Oh, and it also makes you look lazy, and if someone wants to bed you, they would rather know you will go the extra mile. Rule of thumb: Type it just as you would say it. 'Sexting' And 'Mankini' Are Officially In The Dictionary

2. Don't use big words. The whole point of sexting is to be flirtatious and tempt the fella of your fancy with words to make him crave you. Using big words or innuendos might throw him off, especially when the dude has no idea WTF you're talking about. Save innuendos, lines and big words for the texts you send your friends. When sexting, the more direct and clear your words and intentions are, the better.

3. Be playful. Nothing captures someone's attention like quick wit.

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Get Ready for Co-Habitation!

2012-08-03T06:06:00.001-07:00

Thrilling or scared shitless? It can be a daunting task when you decide to take the plunge and shack up with your boo or vice-versa but it's not as simple as leaving space on the dresser for his Right Guard and a toothbrush! If he happens to be moving in to your digs in this modern age, find out how you can give a welcoming impression...

Closet space. We women simply never have enough! Yet there always some merging to be done. He will not need half of your closet but please share ample lodging for his clothes. I suggest you hibernate your 'fits for rare occasions and rummage through the sizes too small that you're working to reunite with. Put those goods in a storage bin and put away under your bed or other space in the home. There's nothing more awkward for a man than coming in with a duffle and realizing his broad is so selfish that she only allocated a drawer! Speaking of, consider a combination of closet space and drawer space as well as space for shoe storage...now if he has a million Jordans his ass make need to rent storage space!

Bathroom. Plan for housing his toiletries...This isn't as big a deal but I learned my man doesn't like to share not even soap! So plan for separate soap, razors, hair products etc.

Cleaning Rituals! This is the most daunting and touchy...Do not try to be Miss Cutesy superwoman or you will end up frustrated and ready to castrate your new roommate! The man you love and share mutual respect will have to sit down and discuss the new partnership and compromise on a plan for upkeep. This may take trial and error and numerous revisions but KEEP A PLAN! You don't have to be Nelly Naggy...you can capitalize off of strengths. For example, I cook the meals, my man cooks during the hellish time of the month, we agreed to keep up after our dishes after use, we do laundry as a team, he mops and takes out trash, etc. Sometimes we bitch & moan but its an effective system.

Cooking is its own separate demon and I will follow up with it this weekend homies ;-) I have something especially for the kitchen estranged, dining out dependent senoritas out there...

--xoxo Goddess

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3 Reasons Ryan Lochte & K.Michelle Can Fling!

2012-08-01T07:17:00.001-07:00

Rumor from the Sicilian grapevines is that Love & Hip Hop Atlanta castmember K.Michelle is dating or was shacking up with now Olympian golden boy and grill totin' Ryan Lochte.

I give the official Simon Says Go! On this fling for 3 reasons:

• I believe K.Michelle will get the attention she is so desperately seeking and being talentless won't cut it.

•Lochte is a hot and now famous white boy

• She can now budge out of Memphitz & Toya's marriage and cease appearing so thirst! Even if he did beat ya ass years ago, he's caressing his new ass...ugh a case of the "bitters he didn't wife ya"! If you wanted to shed light on the ninjas character you shoulda promptly filed a police report now promptly exit stage left female hound!

--yours truly, Goddess

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5 Baby Mama Commandments

2012-08-01T06:51:00.001-07:00

Somebody has to check bishes out of line...too fargone! I devised 5 commandments for BM's to live by to prevent making everyone's lives a living hell. Written by a baby mama for baby mommas worldwide...

1| If you break up with your daddy,fight with your baby daddy, or simply have watched too much Maury...don't drag your BD to the child support office. If you can't make amicable financial arrangements 2 way...then by all means get help from enforcement but from the get-go or non-angry states! Nothing looks worse and wastes more taxpayer dollars then starting and dropping cases as frequently as a menstrual cycle!

2| Don't trap BD with marriage and commitment because you're pregnant. Forced unions are no bueno like week old meat in heat! If you got knocked up with the purposes of trapping then shame on you! Now if he's rich that makes you an Entrpreneur ;-)

3| Never use your baby as a pawn and dangle like a carrot. You know...you can't see your baby unless you do this! You can't take your child unless I'm there too...Lame!! And do you care about your child really??

4| Don't tell your 3 year old baby Daddy and his new girlfriend ain't shit! Children should not be able to recite what's in their child support/custody order verbatim!

5| If your BD has moved on, don't harrass his new woman...show up at all hours...call at all hours for non-emergencies...text memories about when you were together....or use the kids time with daddy as a chance to hoe bag...as women we need to embrace self respect.

And there you have it...with this the world might be a better place.

--xoxo Goddess

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