Ar-Ar's Corner

8 Ways to Inspire Others

2013-03-13T04:23:00.001-07:00

8 Ways to Inspire Others

This guest post was written by Mike King, the author of Learn This.

Have you ever looked up to someone or admired something about another person that really inspired you? Well, there are certain qualities about a person’s character that enable them to inspire others, and there are steps you can take to awaken these same qualities in yourself. Here’s how:

Stick With What You Love

Inspiring others isn’t easy. The success rate of those who attempt to inspire is incredibly low when the measurement of success is based on the percentage inspired as opposed to the actual number inspired. Huge motivational seminars with thousands of attendees typically make a real lasting impact in only a few people’s lives. If you look at those same odds for yourself, you might easily be discouraged if you hope to inspire others by doing something you don’t truly love to do.

If, however, you do love something dearly, you won’t care how successful you are at inspiring others and you will continue to persevere (on many levels) no matter how many times you fail. When people doubt you, and when people laugh at your failures, you will continue to do what you love because you love it. So having that depth, that love and passion for something, will protect you from all potential failures.

Will you make the most of failures and continue to drive your passions? Will you inspire others even when you don’t succeed at first? What do you love?

Think Big and Noble

Once you establish a foundation for which you have great passion, start thinking big. How many people could you potentially inspire based on your niche of expertise? Are there ways you can expand your impact? Don’t look to inspire one person, look to inspire hundreds! Remember, this goes back to the low success rate percentages, as you will likely not succeed with working to inspire at a very small level. You need to think big and have many people available to inspire. Fifty people out of a thousand is only five percent, but it’s still fifty people. Share your ideas with as many people as possible and allow them grow your influence beyond your initial ideas for inspiration.

Thinking big is not only about inspiring more people, but also about the impact you have on each person. Don’t settle on making minor changes in a person’s life if they need a total makeover. Instead, aim to change everything. Look to inspire in many areas instead of just one. Think big about the positive impact you might have and this will give you a much better chance of leaving some kind of impression. If you promote a hundred ways for someone to change or heal and they take on just one, you have still helped them!

Another useful way to inspire others is to support an established noble cause or practice, such as saving the environment or feeding the poor. It’s much easier to gain attention, followers, and support for noble causes than it is for individual gain or what some might think are more selfish reasons. An offer to change something that has a positive impact on the global society is far more attractive to onlookers than some short lived, localized venture. So keep those areas of influence as big as possible!

Be Expressive

Passion is something you must have and be willing to express it if you really want to inspire others. You can gain a lot of influence just by publically expressing that you are excited and passionate about a topic. You make it much harder to inspire others if you are boring an unenthusiastic. Expressive passion is contagious because of the curiosity it stirs in others. You’ll get people wondering why you love what you love so much. Naturally, some of them will take the time necessary to understand what it is about the topic that moves you.

Practice What You Preach

You need to remain actively involved in the field in which you intend to inspire others. It’s the age old saying of “practice what you preach,” and it holds true for anyone trying to inspire others. Ultimately, if you really want to inspire others to do something then this ‘something’ should be a big part of your life. You don’t necessarily need to be an expert at it, but you do need to be passionately involved.

Keep an Open Door

You must always maintain an open invitation to everyone you encounter. Personally welcome others, and listen to their needs. Once you are involved with them, keep it personal and always maintain a healthy line of communication.

Offer a Guiding Hand

The best part of inspiring others is to have interest in not only what you do, but to also recognize your followers and have an opportunity to see them grow and change as well. Offer to share your personal stories, teach them things you’ve learned along the way, talk about your failures and achievements, and ask them questions about their own progress. Help them avoid the mistakes you’ve made in the past, and always maintain a positive outlook on their forward progress.

Be Consistent

Consistency in actions, information, and moral standards is also extremely important. If you constantly change your methods, your interests, and the field in which you hope to inspire others, you will have little success. People want to see and associate your ideas with a reliable plan that they can follow. You need to demonstrate this consistency through your actions, but you can also compliment your actions with inspirational story telling. Story telling allows you to reproduce important past experiences as a means to guide and inspire others. Make sure use stories that embrace the consistency of your actions.

Stay Positive

The process of inspiring others comes with no shortage challenges and negative naysayers. To get past this, you must stay positive, work past failures, and present optimism openly to others no matter what the circumstances are. Doubt is a very contagious disease, and if you show any of it, you can easily destroy any positive influence you might have instilled in a person.

And there you have it: My thoughts on how to inspire others. I’d love to hear your feedback, thoughts and comments on the subject. Which of these points have the biggest impact to you? Have I left something out? Do you have any personal experiences or inspirational stories to share?

25 Inspiring Stories to Make You Smile

2013-03-13T04:21:00.000-07:00

25 Inspiring Stories to Make You Smile

Here’s a selection of 25 short stories recently submitted to our sister site, Makes Me Think, that not only made us think, but made us smile too. We hope they do the same for you. Enjoy.

Today, my son turned 7 and I turned 23. Yes, I had him on the day I turned 16. The choices I made when I was a teenager were foolish, and sometimes I get worried I’m bringing my son up wrong. But today I took him to the park to celebrate our birthdays. He played for hours with a girl who has burn scars that cover most of her face. When my son took a break to eat, he pointed to her and said, “She’s so pretty and cool!” Which left me thinking, “I must be doing something right as a mom.” MMT
Today at 1AM, my grandma, who is suffering from Alzheimer’s, got up, got into my dad’s car and drove off. We contacted the police. But before the police could find her, two college kids pulled into our driveway with my grandma. One was driving my dad’s car and the other was following in their car. They said they overheard her crying about being lost at an empty gas station 10 miles away. My grandma couldn’t remember our address, but gave the kids her first and last name. They looked her up online, found our address, and drove her home. MMT
Today, my 8-year-old son hugged me and said, “You are the best mom in the whole entire world!” I smiled and sarcastically replied, “How do you know that? You haven’t met every mom in the whole entire world.” My son squeezed me tighter and said, “Yes I have. You are my world.” MMT
Today, my dad turned 91. He barely has enough strength to speak. But every time my mom (she’s 84) walks into the room to check on him, he says, “Hello beautiful.” MMT
Today, when I went to pick-up my daughter from preschool she was sitting on the ground in the corner of the after-care area with 3 blind students. All of them had smiles on their faces. The after-care instructor told me my daughter has been spending time with these 3 students every afternoon this week, answering questions and explaining to them in vivid detail what different objects, people and animals look like. MMT
Today, when she woke up from a six month coma, she kissed me and said, “Thank you for being here, and telling me those beautiful stories, and never giving up on me… And yes, I will marry you.” MMT
Today, I found an old hand written note my mom wrote when she was a senior in high school. On it is a list of qualities she hoped she would someday find in a boyfriend. The list is basically an exact description of my dad, who she didn’t meet until she was 27. MMT
Today is my 18th birthday. Just over 18 years ago a woman was faced with the harsh fact that she had already had 4 miscarriages and 1 stillbirth. As she was pregnant for the 5th time, doctors informed her that her pregnancy was risky. They said there was a good chance either the baby or her wouldn’t make it. She chose to give the baby a chance anyway. My mom and I both made it and are still healthy to this day. MMT
Today, my grandpa keeps and old, candid photo on his nightstand of my grandma and him laughing together at some party in the 1960’s. My grandma passed away from cancer in 1999 when I was 7. This evening when I was at his house, my grandpa caught me staring at the photo. He walked up, hugged me from behind and said, “Remember, just because something doesn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.” MMT
Today, a week after I donated three bags of clothes to a local homeless shelter, I saw a homeless woman sitting on a park bench wearing a tye-dye shirt I made when I was a teenager. I walked by her and said, “I love your shirt!” She smiled and said, “Thank you! I really do too!” MMT
Today, I sat down with my two daughters, ages 4 and 6, to explain to them that we have to move out of our 4 bedroom house and into a 2 bedroom apartment for awhile until I can find another job that pays well. My daughters looked at each other for a moment and then my youngest daughter turned to me and asked, “Are we all moving into the apartment together?” “Yes,” I replied. “Oh, so no big deal then,” she said. MMT
Today is the 14th day in a row that my nursing home patient’s grandson has come to visit her. Two weeks ago I told him that the only time I see his grandmother smile all week is when he visits her on Sunday mornings. MMT
Today, as I pulled into my apartment complex I noticed my neighbor, who’s about 8 months pregnant, struggling with her groceries. I stopped and helped her bring them up the stairs into her apartment. This evening, when I got home from the gym I found a freshly baked apple pie sealed in Tupperware sitting on my doorstep with a note that said, “I used the ingredients you helped me carry to bake this. Enjoy!” MMT
Today, a man came in to apply at my restaurant. He seemed charismatic, kind, knowledgeable, and friendly. Later, when I went to call him to extend a job offer, I noticed he had written “ask for me” under his number. The number belongs to a homeless shelter. But I’m gonna take a risk and hire him anyways. MMT
Today, I found out that my mom and dad have been working second jobs at night so they can continue to financially assist my twin sister and I who are both sophomores in college. My dad said, “You two will be the first in our family’s history to receive college diplomas. Two jobs is nothing! I’d work three if I had to to see you two graduate.” MMT
Today, my 12-year-old son, Sean, and I stopped by the nursing home together for the first time in several months. Usually I come alone see my mother who’s suffering from Alzheimer’s. When we walked into the lobby, the nurse said, “Hi, Sean!” and then buzzed us in. “How does she know your name?” I asked. “Oh, I swing by here on my walk home from school all the time to say hi to Grandma,” Sean said. I had no idea. MMT
Today, my mom has been blind for 15 years. She lost her vision in the same car accident that took my dad’s life. I am 18 years old now. She has raised me as a single mom since I was 3, without her vision. And yes, she did a heck of a job! MMT
Today, I met the prettiest woman on a plane. Assuming I wouldn’t see her again after we made our connections, I told her how pretty I thought she was. She gave me the most sincere smile and said, “Nobody has said that to me in 10 years.” It turns out we’re both in our mid-30’s, never married, no kids, and we live about 5 miles away from each other. We have a date set for next Saturday after we return home. MMT
Today, my mom received the surgery she needed to remove a malignant tumor. My family has been struggling without medical insurance since my dad lost his job last year. My sister and I have been openly discussing my mom’s medical dilemma on Facebook. Last week, a friend of a friend, who’s a veteran cancer treatment surgeon who owns his own practice, saw our comments on Facebook and volunteered to help my mother for free. MMT
Today, I’m a mother of 2 and a grandmother of 4. At 17 I got pregnant with twins. When my boyfriend and friends found out I wasn’t going to abort them, they turned a cold shoulder to me. But I pressed forward, worked full-time while attending school, graduated high school and college, and met a guy in one of my classes who has loved my children like his own for the last 50 years. MMT
Today, as I was sleeping, I woke up to my daughter calling my name. I was sleeping in a sofa chair in her hospital room. I opened my eyes to her beautiful smile. My daughter has been in a coma for 98 days. MMT
Today, on our 10th wedding anniversary, she handed me a suicide note she wrote when she was 22. It was dated the exact day we met each other. And she said, “For all these years I didn’t want you to know how foolish and unstable I was back when we met. But even though you didn’t know, you saved me. Thank you.” MMT
Today, at 8AM this morning, after four months of lifelessness in her hospital bed, we took my mom off life support. And her heart continued beating on its own. And she continued breathing on her own. Then this evening, when I squeezed her hand three times, she squeezed back three times. MMT
Today, the homeless man who used to sleep near my condo showed up at my door wearing the business suit I gave him nearly 10 years ago. He said, “I have a home, a job, and a family now. 10 years ago I wore this business suit to all my job interviews. Thank you.” MMT
Today, when I opened my store at 5AM there was an envelope sitting on the floor by the door. In the envelope was $600 and a note that said, “Five years ago, I broke into your store at night and stole $300 worth of food. I’m sorry. I was desperate. Here’s the money with 100% interest.” Interestingly, I never reported the incident to the cops because I assumed that whoever stole the food really needed it. MMT

Brown Heroes: The Making of A Future Leader

2012-09-21T01:46:00.001-07:00

Brown Heroes: The Making of A Future Leader

Seven Ways to Restart Your Day

2012-03-17T02:59:00.003-07:00

Seven Ways to Restart Your Day

You've just woken up, and you're on the wrong side of the bed. Is there any way to switch to the other side? Absolutely.

For those times when your mind is addled, and your center is shaky; open this little black bag of cures and find your beautiful balance!

As soon as the alarm rings..

Spend your first 15 seconds awake planning something nice to do for yourself today. "This can really set you up in a good mood--even if it's just going by the farmers' market and getting fresh strawberries.

Get up.

The longer you lie there, the more you ruminate, the darker your outlook is likely to become, says Christine Padesky, PhD, coauthor of Mind Over Mood.So get vertical and make a cup of coffee, take a shower, feed the cat...

Drink...

Make that two glasses of water upon awakening, the time when our bodies are dehydrated, says Susan M. Kleiner, PhD, author of The Good Mood Diet. Dehydration causes fatigue, which affects your mood.

Move it.

You already know the number one way of chasing away a bad mood: exercise. A workout at the gym sure helps. But even just a few minutes of movement--a fast walk, for example--raises energy and reduces tension, says mood expert Robert Thayer, PhD, professor of psychology at California State University, Long Beach, and author of Calm Energy

Investigate

When you're dogged by anxiety or the dread you woke up with, try to pinpoint what's causing it. Did someone say anything the day before? Do you have a meeting today you wish you didn't? Was it the dream you were having when the alarm went off? "If you can figure out why you're upset, that's halfway to feeling better,

Be kind and thankful

This isn't exactly news, but generosity and gratitude are both big contributors to happiness, according to Todd B. Kashdan, PhD, who directs the Laboratory for the Study of Social Anxiety, Character Strengths, and Related Phenomena at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia. Do something nice for a stranger or friend and see if you don't feel better about yourself. Also, jot down three things that you're grateful for. It seems so simple, but counting your blessings just has a way of making you remember the sun is shining.

Laugh at yourself.

The best comedians point out the mundane aspects of life--relationship strife, a boring job, a closet full of too-tight clothes; they exaggerate those circumstances, and give us a perspective we can laugh about, says Mark Ridley, owner of the Comedy Castle in Royal Oak, Michigan. Look at your own life and try to appreciate the absurdity of what doesn't go exactly according to plan (the diets, the men, the buzz cut). Acknowledging how little control we actually have over what happens is sometimes a most freeing gift to yourself.

2012-01-21T18:10:00.000-08:00

6 Dangerous Food Additives Poisoning Your Fare

They lie in wait, more than happy to do a number on your insides when you least expect. Let’s push aside the artificial sweeteners, food colorings and even the bisphenol A for now and focus on six quietly confident yet diabolical dietary villains that far too often manage to get away with murder.

Carazolol What’s this seriously hard core schizophrenia and depression drug – notable for its unappealing ability to ramp up cholesterol levels while triggering erectile dysfunction -- doing in pork chops and steaks? The factory farming industry uses it as an injectable ‘chill pill’ for animals on their way to the slaughterhouse, which means that whether you like it or not, your upcoming blood test and significant other’s schwing-ability may be in question.

Aluminum From the foil that we wrap around baking dishes to the cookware and beverage cans that we regularly use, this naturally occurring metallic element has been an integral part of our food supply for decades (think pickles, canned vegetables, cheese, juice, baked goods, gum, etc.). Unfortunately, there appears to be a link between regular aluminum exposure and the development of Alzheimer’s disease, as well as the potential for developing neuromuscular and skeletal issues, so using aluminum-free leavening agents and opting for fresh rather than processed foods might help you to be safe(r) rather than sorry.

Sulfites Take a look at the ingredient list of your favorite foods and you’ll likely see one of the following: potassium bisulfate, sodium bisulfite, sulfur dioxide, potassium metabisulfite or some variation therein. All of these inorganic salts prevent discoloration while preserving the freshness of edibles such as shrimp, dried fruit, dried potatoes and wine (although fermented grapes do contain naturally occurring levels of sulfites). Seems harmless enough… except that there are quite a few people out there who can (and have) experienced fatal allergic reactions. Heck, if you can hunt down sulfite-free versions of your favorite munchies and libations, why not go the extra mile for peace of mind?

Carrageenan This natural, vegan-friendly, gel-like substance, derived from red Chondrus crispus seaweed, thickens a large variety of foods (soy milk, beer, processed meats, cottage cheese, ice cream, yogurt, etc.) and personal care products (intimate lubricants, cosmetic creams, toothpaste, shampoo, etc.). When exposed to acidic conditions and high temperatures however, a degraded form of this seaweed gelatin – called poligeenan -- is produced. This is where things get a little iffy. In addition to causing ulcers and gastro intestinal cancer in laboratory animals, carrageenan is also believed to trigger bowel disorders such as ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease in humans (the latter two of which aren’t exactly fatal, but you wouldn’t exactly want to wish them on your worst enemy, either).

Guanylic Acid Also known as Guanosine monophosphate, this marine-derived, salt-based flavor enhancer commonly obtained either from seaweed or dried sardines is actually found in all living animal and plant cells (including whole grains!). Added to processed meats, soups, tomatoes and cheeses, it’s converted by the body into high levels of uric acid which can lead to crystallization build-up in the kidneys, tendon sheaths and joints. In other words, gout… the arthritic condition sometimes referred to as the rich man’s disease. Are you going to die from it? Typical attacks clear up in a week, but gout is a recurring ailment often accompanied by metabolic syndrome, diabetes, heart and kidney disease, all of which are inarguably uber-sucky.

Potassium Nitrate As the key ingredient in toothpaste designed for sensitive teeth, gunpowder, fireworks, agricultural fertilizers, cheese and cured meats such as pepperoni, salami and corned beef, this preservation wiz (also known as sodium nitrate or salt peter) literally does a bang-up-job on the body when heat is present. Morphing into chemical compounds called nitrosamines that most definitely cause toxic effects in multiple animal species, these nasty little buggers are associated with the development of diabetes, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s and cancer of the stomach in humans. A word of advice to crisp bacon aficionados – your vice is swarming with nitrosamines, so either eat it soggy or resist the urge to oink out!

2012-01-21T01:52:00.000-08:00

21 Motivational Quotes on Strength

Have the Courage to Carry On

By Renita Williams
Let’s face it, life can be hard. Just when you are sitting there minding your own business, pow, a crisis can come your way.

Whether it is work, differences amongst family and friends, bad relationships, financial struggles, or just a bad day, sometimes it can be overwhelming and hard to deal with.

Although what seems like a tough time while it’s happening, it is also a way to help you find the strength you never knew was within. Let these quotes on strength help you feel the motivation to carry on.

Hang On

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. "

-Franklin D. Roosevelt

Never Give Up

"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."

-Harriet Beecher Stowe

It's Just the Beginning

"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning."

-Ivy Baker Priest

What Lies Within

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Make the Goal

"Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement - and we will make the goal."

-Jerome Fleishman

Pick Up the Pieces

"If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again."

-Flavia Weedn

Don't Allow Yourself to Suffer

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

-M. Kathleen Casey

It's Not the End

"A bend in the road is not the end of the road...unless you fail to make the turn."

-Author Unknown

The Strength to Overcome

"We acquire the strength we have overcome."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Appreciate What You Have

"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known."

-Garrison Keillor

Prepare for Your Journey

"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey."

-Kenji Miyazawa

See Who You Really Are

"Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are."

-Arthur Golden

Better In Time

"When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful."

-Barbara Bloom

Having a Reason to Live

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how."

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Allow Yourself Opportunity

"When written in Chinese the word "crisis" is composed of two characters - one represents danger and the other represents opportunity."

-John F. Kennedy

Get Better, Not Bitter

"The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter."

-Author Unknown

Embrace Fortune

"Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience."

-Author Unknown

The Turning Point

"The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt."

-Max Lerner

Never Give In

"Never give in... never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force... never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."

-Winston Churchill

Use Pain As Fuel

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.”

- August Wilson

Keep Yourself Together

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”

-Unknown AutHOR

2012-01-16T18:28:00.000-08:00

5 Foods for a Flat Belly

Having a fit, lean belly is about more than your vanity; it's about building a strong core and thus a powerful you. When you're core is strengthened, so is your entire being. But no amount of crunches is going to get the job done on its own. The key to uncover a toned tummy lies in leading a healthy, balanced lifestyle; critical are the foods you nourish your body with. Devote yourself to whole unprocessed fare and mindful eating, and incorporate the following five super delicious foods into your flat belly diet. Then, you'll be well on your way to a healthier, muffin-top free you.

Avocados avocado is high in the oh-so-necessary monounsaturated fat which helps lower cholesterol and is loaded with nutritional clout to rank it amid the highest echelons of superfoods. But what's best about a creamy slice of avo? It's so satisfying, satiatingly scrumptious, that you'll feel full fast, and stay that way.

Berries The antioxidants in berries are awesome at improving blood flow which delivers more oxygen to the muscles and helps us get the best out of our workouts. Make exercising feel easier by loading up on berries melange.

Oatmeal Starting your day off with oatmeal is like stretching at the outset of a jog; it prevents injuries – or overindulgences in this case – and promotes longevity – or the sustainability of a healthy diet. With its combo of complex carbs, protein, iron and fiber, oatmeal keeps everything running smoothly.

Green Tea It's been shown that drinking green tea can give your metabolism a boost, helping burn away that belly bulge. It contains a compound, ECGC, that makes it easier for your body to let go of that fat it seems to so strongly cling to.

Tomatoes Besides being amazingly versatile, tomatoes are high in water and fiber content, acting as a diuretic to help cleanse toxins from your body, and all on a low calorie count that's loaded with vitamins C and A.

5 Inspiring Athletes Who Overcame Disabilitie

2012-01-16T18:26:00.001-08:00

5 Inspiring Athletes Who Overcame Disabilities

Limitless Abilities

Many professional athletes entertain us with their strength and competitive spirit. Then, there are those who inspire us with their ability to overcome adversity. We are especially touched by those who are missing a limb, yet use everything else they have to become the best at what they do. Whether it’s grappling on the wrestling mat, crossing the finish line or riding the ocean waves, these five athletes are collectively the true picture of strength.

Bethany Hamilton

Raised by surfers in Hawaii, Bethany Hamilton was born to be in the water. A natural surfer, she began competing professionally as a young child. However, at 13, she lost her arm and nearly lost her life in a vicious shark attack. One month later she was back on her surfboard with a determined spirit and positive attitude. Two years later she won first place in the Explorer Women’s Division of the NSSA National Championships. Now, the professional surfer shares her inspirational message of hope with millions of people and her story has been made into an inspiring major motion picture, Soul Surfer, in theaters April 8, 2011, starring AnnaSophia Robb, Helen Hunt and Dennis Quaid.

Jason Lester

When 12-year-old Jason Lester was hit by a car and suffered, among many things, a paralyzed arm, he could never have dreamed that decades later, he’d be a world-class endurance sports champion. Today, he can swim faster, ride further and run incredible distances as an Ironman and Ultraman, and he does it all without the full use of his right arm. In 2009, he was named the ESPY award winner for "Best Male Athlete with a Disability" and the first male triathlete to win such an honor. In addition to numerous championships, he’s also the author of Running on Faith, the autobiography that chronicles his rise to fame and how his belief in God got him there. His relentless message is summed up well when he wrote, “If you don’t stop, you can’t be stopped.”

Melissa Stockwell

She is a war veteran with the U.S. Army, Purple Heart recipient, paralympian, paratriathlete and an above the knee amputee. In 2004, Melissa Stockwell lost her leg when a roadside bomb exploded during a convoy. A diver in high school, she began to swim at Walter Reed Hospital as part of her physical therapy. Eventually, she trained to compete in the 2008 Paralympic Games for the U.S. team in which she became the record holder for the 100 meter butterfly and the 100 meter freestyle. She gained national attention when she became the face of the Hartford U.S. Paralympics Partnership ad campaign. “I can really do anything I want to do, missing leg or not,” she says.

Anthony Robles

Anthony Robles was born without a leg, but he didn’t let that stop him from becoming a national high school and college wrestling champion. He began his career on the mat in his high school. Although he tells the Wall Street Journal, his first match as a small 90-pound freshman was less than epic, he got better and then became the best. In March of 2011, the All-American Arizona State University student won the NCAA championship title for the 125-pound weight class division. While USA Today quotes the young athlete as starting his retirement from wrestling, he remains an inspiration to underdogs everywhere. He told the WSJ, "I didn't get into the sport for the attention. I wrestle because I love wrestling. But if I can help change somebody's life for the better…"

Jim MacLaren

"Dead on arrival". That was the diagnosis when Jim MacLaren was rushed to Bellevue Hospital after being hit by a bus on his motorcycle. When he woke from his coma, he was missing his left leg below the knee. He’d previously been a Yale University lacrosse and football player, but after the accident, life as he knew it was full of questions. Undetered by his accident, he took up swimming and learned how to run on a prosthetic leg. He eventually competed in the New York City Marathon and the Ironman triathlon. Although he later suffered another accident that left him paralyzed, MacLaren turned his tragedy into triumph by becoming a motivational speaker and life coach encouraging others to live their life to the fullest no matter what it takes.

2012-01-16T18:24:00.000-08:00

Five Life Lessons Running Taught Me

Runner's Wisdom

I'm training for my first full marathon. It's a feat I never thought I could do. In honor of this, I wanted to write an ode to running. I ran off and on throughout my 20s, but didn’t get serious about it until a friend encouraged me to sign me up for a half marathon last year. I ran that 13.1 miles and it changed my life. Here are the five life lessons running taught me.

Want a life less than ordinary? Be less than ordinary

I used to be the kind of person who just let life happen to her. I did the same thing, day in and day out, and had the gall to complain about how bored I was. Then a friend suggested to me to run a half marathon with her. It was ludicrous! I’d never run more than two miles in my life. But I said yes. I took a leap and everything changed. The world’s most uncoordinated girl became a runner, and it encouraged me to seek out more strange opportunities to grow and expand myself. Now, I look back and see that, like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, I had the power all along to change my circumstances. See, you just have to leave your comfort zone, and it’s easier than it sounds. All it takes is simply saying, “Yes.”

Naysayers are criticizing themselves, not you

Naturally, when you tell people you’re taking up any new activity, you attract critics. “Oh, you’ll ruin your knees.” “You’re not athletic.” “You should try something a little easier.” Ug. They were discouraging at first, until I realized their dirty little secret. Naysayers aren’t telling you what you can’t do; they’re telling you what they can’t do. Every person who told me that running was a bad idea was a person who would never attempt something so grand. So shake off the haters. Their criticism has nothing to do with you.

Get by with a little help from friends

The stubborn introvert in me sometimes shies away from group activities. Ever since I was a kid, I had this “I can do it myself” attitude. But any goal that’s bigger than you will require help. The best runs I ever had were with my team. The four of us girls would gab and laugh all the way through our trails. Their encouragement made a ten-mile run feel like a walk in the park. Never underestimate your support system. They are there to help you, because as Maya Angelou wrote, “Nobody, but nobody can make it out here alone.”

Don’t give up; You always have a little bit left

Running is hard. Running long distances is even harder. I can remember so many days during my training when I would just hit a wall of exhaustion. Every step was a strain. Even my toenails hurt. But what I found interesting about pushing my limits is that I realized how far out my limits really were. I am so much tougher than I thought I was. I have more endurance that I could have guessed. And when I feel like I have nothing left, there is always a little more strength and a little more energy. It makes quitting impossible, because when you know you have more to give, giving up is not an option.

You truly can do anything you set your mind to

I know it sounds cliché, but the day these words sink into your soul, you will never be the same. We limit ourselves with our words (“I can’t… I won’t… I shouldn’t…”). We limit ourselves with our actions by existing as a slave to the routine. And, mostly, it’s all in our heads. Your mind is the most important tool you have, and if you break free from what you think you can and cannot do, not even the sky is the limit.

In the spirit of runners everywhere, I hope you know that you have no idea what you’re capable of. You are brave and strong. So, get active on the journey of your life. It has trails and dreams that you never imagined.

2012-01-16T18:21:00.000-08:00

Walk Away Your Pounds

Lose Weight, Feel Better by Walking

If you're looking to spring into shape and shed unwanted weight, get out your walking shoes. Here are 5 tips for getting started.

Walk the Walk

Walking is one of the easiest and least expensive forms of exercise — and as the days become milder, it’s a great way to clear the mind of winter cobwebs. All you need is a sturdy pair of walking shoes, comfortable clothing, and, of course, a hefty dose of motivation.

A brisk 10-minute walk outside (or on a treadmill) will usually do the trick. Do this every day for a week, and then begin to add five minutes to your walk the following week.

Continue to add five minutes to each workout until you are walking as long as desired. Remember, the goal is to walk fast enough to reach your target heart rate, yet slow enough that you can still maintain a conversation.

Don’t Skip the Stretches

Incorporate a warm-up, cool-down and stretches into your fitness routine. Start your walk at a slow warm-up pace, and then stop to do your stretches. It is important to not begin stretching until you are 5-7 minutes into your walk. (Think of your body as a car engine and your blood as oil. You need to lubricate your joints before you start.) End your walk with a slower cool-down pace and stretch well. Stretching not only feels great, but it also helps to prevent injury.

Maintain Good Posture

Remember your mother’s advice about standing up straight? Using good posture allows you to breathe easier, be more comfortable and avoid back pain. Here are some good posture pointers:

–Do not arch your back or lean forward or backwards. This will put strain on the back muscles.

–Keep your eyes focused forward, not looking down, but rather 20 feet ahead.

–Reduce strain on your neck and back by keeping your chin parallel to the ground.

–Shrug once and let your shoulders fall and relax, with shoulders slightly back.

–Suck in your stomach.

–Tuck in your behind and rotate your hip forward slightly. This will keep you from arching your back.

Keep Your Water Bottle Handy

Prevent dehydration by drinking lots of fluids before, during, and after a walk. Ideally, you should take a drink every 15 to 30 minutes. Remember that thirst is not an accurate indicator of how much fluid you have lost.

If you wait until you are thirsty to replenish body fluids, you may already be dehydrated. Most people do not become thirsty until they have lost more than 2 per cent of their body weight. And if you only drink enough to quench your thirst, you may still be dehydrated.

Make It a Habit

Schedule your walk or exercise time as you would any other appointment. Once you make exercise a habit, you’ll wonder how you ever did without it! (Need some inspiration? Arrange to walk with a friend — or how about a Virtual fitness coach ? It also helps to vary your route whenever possible.)

Six Ways to Live a Compassionate Life

2012-01-16T17:22:00.001-08:00

Six Ways to Live a Compassionate Life

Everyday Kindness

Can you see yourself caring for others in a sincere, meaningful way? It’s not impossible or just for people with sensitive hearts.

You can be kinder, more relatable and helpful to anyone who comes along your path. Inspired by the book by Karen Armstrong, Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life, here are six practical tips to inspire you to invite compassion into your day-to-day living.

Be Kind to Yourself

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the universe, deserve your love and affection.” The Buddha

A compassionate life radiates from the inside out, so the only way to truly show love to others is to first start with yourself. Stop being your worst critic and turn into your greatest cheerleader. Be patient with yourself instead of rushing to assume the worst of your abilities. Resolve to speak only good things about you instead of putting yourself down. The compassion you feel inwardly will overflow to everyone in your life.

Be a Giver

One way to be more compassionate is to give. You can give money to your house of worship or to charity. You can also donate clothes to organizations that help the homeless. However, your offerings don’t have to be to a stranger. Look for opportunities to give amongst your friends and family. Perhaps your cousin has fallen on tough times or a friend just lost a spouse. You can be an angel for someone in need who’s close to home.

Find a Cause

Many people don’t have a cause – an issue or a plight about which they feel strongly. Causes give life fire. Want to know what your cause is? Ask yourself this question: what upsets you most when you watch your local news? Where do you see injustice that really riles you up? What makes you want to stick up for the underdog? These are clues that will lead you to organizations that you can join and support.

Forgive Both Big and Small Offenses

To lead with compassion means to extend mercy to others. That can be difficult when you feel like you’ve been wronged. Whether it’s a major crime against you or something as small as the rudeness of a stranger, you can learn to be a forgiving person. Forgiveness shows love to people in your life whether you feel like they deserve it or not. It frees the offending person, but it also releases you from the burden of carrying resentment.

Take Care of Something or Someone

Be an active participant in the care and nurturing of another living thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s a child, a spouse, a pet or a plant. When someone else’s ability for growth and maturity is dependent on you, it calls for something special to rise up inside of you. It expands your heart and builds up your capacity for kindness.

Expand Your Worldview

Having compassion comes from a place of empathy, which is the ability to feel someone else’s feelings. That can be difficult when most of us exist in our own tiny universe. So you have to push yourself beyond the knowledge and influence your own family and social circles. Read biographies about people you have nothing in common with. Watch documentaries made by and for ethnicities , genders and religions other than your own. You can go beyond tolerance to understanding when you make an effort to see life through someone else’s eyes.

2012-01-16T17:17:00.000-08:00

Seven Ways to Release Anger Out of Your Body

No emotion is negative unless we refuse to feel it.

BY: Suzanne Hosang

Anger is a feeling of powerlessness. However, within your anger is a tremendous sense of power, purpose, passion and meaning because when you feel angry, it’s because you wanted to do something and you were blocked from doing it.

People usually think of emotions as good or bad and they think that anger is a bad emotion, that you shouldn’t have it. That if somehow you feel angry, then you are not a nice person, or you’re not a spiritual person. From my vantage point, it is a rather good emotion because if you analyze the frequency of anger, it is an emotion that churns. It is trying to get you off your duff to do something about the situation.

The truth is that no emotion is negative unless we refuse to feel it. That’s when it becomes destructive. We are only required to feel our emotions and release them. Even the most beautiful emotion of love will become destructive if its blocked and not actually felt.

So, anger is what it is, and if you judge yourself for feeling angry, then you are going to think that anger is bad. We like to feel the so-called positive emotions and take credit for the realities that they create. But what happens when you refuse to feel and release the so-called negative emotions like anger because you are afraid it’s going to be painful? Well it’s your emotion and you created it, so where is it going to go? If you don’t feel it and release it, you will either stuff it in your physical body, or into your extended body called your reality.

So when you swallow your anger, or stuff it down because you want to be a nice person and you don’t want to show it, over time your body might respond with symptoms of pain and inflammation as it is trying to say to you that it is not able to put up with the anger that has gotten stashed in it.

1. Release all judgments and criticisms about yourself. The purpose of judgments is to make you not feel which is what got you in the situation in the first place.

2. Forgive your body for having to make your life miserable in order to bring this to your attention.

3. Honor and own that this is your creation in order for you to pay attention to, and see how you have given your power away to other people and circumstances to offer you the opportunity to step into your power now.

4. Give your body tremendous love as part of the healing process without any judgments or resentments at it for limiting you.

5. Give your body basic kinesthetic pleasure as part of loving it. Perhaps a gentle massage, energy healing or a mineral bath.

6. Address your anger. This is probably the most important step in releasing that feeling of powerlessness out of your psyche so that you are able to step into your power. In my work, I carry people through visualization techniques in order to accomplish this.

7. Promise your body that you are going to love it and care for it and you are going to work in partnership with it. This will build trust between you and your body. Then imagine yourself healed in the not too distant future.

If you will take these seven steps, you will release anger out of your body, and you will heal yourself.

Suzanne Hosang lives in Florida with her husband, daughter and a host of animals. Her life was forever changed when she met Lazaris, a non-physical being who reminded her that she is a mapmaker, dreamer and dream-weaver, vision-maker and reality creator. In addition to her healing practice, she has written An Awakening, Mapping Your Dream, Volume 1.

2012-01-16T17:15:00.000-08:00

Songs for Overcoming Depression

Feeling Down?

We all get down sometimes, but fortunately there are a lot of things that can help! One of my favorites is listening to music, so here are some of the best songs for getting over the hump!

R. Kelly – I Believe I Can Fly

The R&B genre is home to a number of songs to lift your spirits, but few inspire you to keep pursuing your dreams than R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly.”

Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten

Uplifting songs are a dime a dozen, but the choir and the inspiring lyrics really make this one stand out. No matter what has happened, you can always become a different person.

Otis Redding – Sitting on the Dock of the Bay

This Otis Redding classic reminds us that there is a lot to enjoy in life, even in the simplicity of sitting on the dock of the bay.

Travis Tritt – It’s a Great Day to be Alive

Sometimes it’s the simplicity of a song that makes it inspiring, and this Travis Tritt smash hit is a great example.

Johnny Nash – I Can See Clearly Now

This positive song is all about clarity and the freedom that comes with it.

James Taylor – You’ve Got A Friend

When things aren’t going great, you can always take comfort in your friends.

U2 – Beautiful Day

No matter what is happening, every day that we have to be alive is a beautiful day. Don’t ever let that slip away.

Yummy foods you can eat on a diet

2012-01-16T17:10:00.001-08:00

Yummy foods you can eat on a diet

Good news!

Yes, you know you need a life-long healthy eating plan. Will you have to nibble on rabbit food for the rest of your days? Nope! Good news -- there are plenty of choices which are healthy and low-glycemic.

Getting through

There are even some surprise foods that may not help you lose weight, but may help you keep from blowing your plan. These aren’t "free foods," (check your Glycemic Index!) but foods that, when eaten occasionally, may get you through those particularly tempting times.

Snickers?!?!

A Snickers candy bar? Really? Is there a Snickers diet? Well, no -- sorry! Eating a Snickers won’t help you lose weight. However, it does have a low glycemic number because of the fat and protein in it. Eating one bar instead of a higher glycemic treat will satisfy you and keep you from feeling deprived. Wouldn’t you rather have a Snickers than a handful of vanilla

Cream cheese!

Here is another surprise for you — cream cheese. You probably thought it was the cream cheese on the bagel that was adding the inches to your waistline. Actually, it was the bagel! Cream cheese is on the green-for-go list. The fat and dairy components make it slow to digest and so gives a slow sugar release into the bloodstream.
It has a glycemic number of zero. That’s right -- zero. It does, however, have 9 grams of fat and about 100 calories in a one-ounce serving. That’s about two tablespoons or so. You won’t want to eat the whole block of cream cheese in one sitting!

Pasta

Here’s another food you probably thought you could never see again on a healthy eating plan — pasta. Most pasta, when cooked al dente, is low to low/moderate on the glycemic index. That doesn’t mean that your whole diet can consist of pasta, but it does mean that pasta can be a good switch for a higher glycemic side like rice or potatoes. It also means that you can use favorite recipes with pasta and low glycemic sauce ingredients.

Yes, spaghetti!

Spaghetti, for example has a low GI number of 23, which puts it on the green list. It has 220 calories for a one-cup serving, though, so it is not a low calorie food.

Whipped cream!

It’s amazing what a little whipped cream can do to make a bland dish into a indulgent-feeling dessert. Yes, I said whipped cream. Like most dairy products, whipped cream has a zero glycemic number and, a 1/4 cup serving has about 90 calories.

Guacamole!

The last in our series of surprise low-glycemic foods is another which you probably avoided in other diets -- guacamole. The avocado has received a bad rap over the years and is listed as an exception in the “eat fruits and vegetables” chapter of many diet books. That’s because avocados do contain fat and are higher in calories than most other vegetables. One fifth of an avocado has 50 calories. However, the fat is one of the “good fats.”
Also, the fats and fiber make the avocado low glycemic, even though it is higher in calories. Avocados are high in some essential nutrients, too. They contain significant amounts of Vitamin K, Vitamin B6, Vitamin C, magnesium, lutein, Vitamin E, potassium, and folate. When you eat Mexican food, it’s nice to know you don’t have to skip the guacamole!

Be careful out there!

So can you live on guacamole and Snickers and still lose weight? No, but if you carefully use these surprise low glycemic foods to help you stay on track, you may find that they do, indeed, help you reach your long-term healthy weight goal!

2012-01-16T17:07:00.000-08:00

Is Your Weight-Loss Stalled?

You've done everything right

You have been working so hard at your new weight loss plan. So why aren’t the numbers on the scale moving? Let’s take a look at some reasons your weight loss may have stalled out.

Too much of a good thing

Maybe the problem is having too much of a good thing. If you eat mostly from the green, low-glycemic list you are avoiding the insulin response that tells your body to store fat.

We aren’t focusing on calories, but they do count.

Eating too much of the meat, nuts, and dairy list and not enough from the vegetables may be giving you too many calories, which will add up to stored fuel -- fat, in other words. Try eating more fruits and vegetables and less from the other lists, and keep a closer eye on the calorie numbers, at least for a while.

Once you have the hang of it, you won’t need to count so carefully.

When are you eating?

It could be a matter of WHEN rather than WHAT you eat. Eating too late at night doesn’t give your body time to burn them off. Saving up your calories and having them all at one time doesn’t work, either. You give your autopilot the wrong message. He thinks you are starving and goes into “save” mode. Then when you do eat, he sends the message, “Famine is over. Refuel and pack in as much as possible.” Giving your body the wrong message will make your weight loss come to a standstill.

What about exercise?

Are you getting the exercise you need to keep the “good guy” hormone, glucagon, flowing? Glucagon tells your body to burn the fat, use up the fuel. Move more and the glucagon will dominate over the “save the fat” hormone, insulin. (Quite a switch -- spending=good, saving=bad!) The step program will help you keep moving painlessly.

Try adding extra steps by walking while you are on the phone and walking around every commercial break on television. Start taking walks, making them gradually longer. The more you move, the sooner you will see the numbers on the scale move.

Are you drinking water?

It could be something as simple as a lack of water. When you don’t have enough of this vital lubricant your body will hang on to what you do have. Your autopilot thinks you are traveling through a desert and is trying to keep you alive by preserving the water as long as possible. That means water weight for you. It’s an easy fix. Drink more water. You may have a pleasant surprise when your fluid levels are back to normal.

What are you missing?

Maybe it’s not what you are eating -- but what you are NOT getting in your diet. Our food is so processed and depleted, that many of the nutrients we need just aren’t there. Sometimes supplements can get you back on track. Vitamin D3, plant sterols which support your hormonal system, and Omega 3 healthy fats all are important for weight loss.

Looking in the wrong places?

Chances are the results you want are there. You are just looking for them in the wrong place. The scale isn’t the best method of measuring. We just use it because it is easy. When you lose weight, you lose fat, water, and muscle. You want to lose fat, which is unhealthy and takes up lots of space. You want to keep and build your lean muscles, which make you strong, prevents injury, and looks much better. If you lose fat and add lean muscle you may weigh the same, but you will look and feel much better. You’ll probably be better off using the tape measure as a gauge.

Don't give up!

Most important of all -- give yourself time and don’t give up. Remember that our goal isn’t short-term weight loss so we will just look good for a while. Instead we want a healthy, active, fulfilling life for as long we live.

There’s much more to life!

5 Foods You Thought Were Bad

2011-10-02T20:58:00.000-07:00

5 Foods You Thought Were Bad

Naughty Foods That Are Good for You

Do your favorite foods get a bad rap? Here are 5 'forbidden' foods that experts say are actually good for you.

Some foods have been given a bad rap over the years — but now, experts say that not only are they fine in moderation, but they’re actually good for you.

Here are 5 foods that have been redeemed because of their healthy benefits. So go ahead and live a little — and indulge (a little)

Chocolate

In recent years, dark chocolate has been in the news for its healthy benefits. It contains an abundance of flavonoids — the same powerful antioxidants found in red wine, green tea, fruits and vegetables — which have been associated with a decrease in the risk of coronary heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure and stroke.

And now there’s more good news for chocolate lovers. According to a new study out of Germany, small doses of dark chocolate can decrease your risk for heart attack or stroke by nearly 40 per cent. The reason? The flavonols found in chocolate help the muscles in blood vessels to widen, which can lead to a drop in blood pressure, experts say.

For the study, published in the European Heart Journal, researchers followed 20,000 people over eight years. It’s the first study to track the health benefits of chocolate over this long of a period of time. But, alas, now for the caveat: When it comes to chocolate, it’s all too easy to have too much of a good thing.

Overindulgence can lead to weight gain, which is a major risk factor for heart problems and strokes. Participants in the German study, for example, consumed only about six grams of chocolate per day — or the equivalent of about one square of a chocolate bar. And in case you’re wondering why chocolate seems to be so universally loved — apparently, this has to do with the mood-altering chemicals found in chocolate, which experts say trip the serotonin receptors and create a feeling of “falling in love”.

Eggs

Have you been avoiding eggs because you’re worried about high cholesterol or heart disease?

New research has shown that healthy adults can enjoy an egg every day without increasing their risk of heart disease — and according to the American Heart Association, the lutein found in egg yolks actually protects against the progress of early heart disease.

Eggs, which contain only about 70 calories per egg, are loaded with vitamins and minerals that help, among other things, to maintain good vision and foster brain development and function, experts say. They are also a good source of high quality protein and one of the few foods that naturally contain vitamin D. (In case you were wondering, there are no nutritional differences between brown and white eggs.)

Avocados

The avocado, once banished for its high fat content, has also made a comeback. While it’s true that this delicious buttery fruit is indeed high in fat — with about 30 grams of fat for a medium-sized avocado — nutritionists say that most of the fat is monounsaturated or the ‘good’ kind that can actually lower your cholesterol.

Studies have also shown that avocados are rich in beta-sitosterol, a natural substance shown to significantly lower blood cholesterol levels. But while adding avocados to your diet can provide some healthy benefits as well as great flavour, remember that moderation is key to prevent weight gain. (Tasty tip: Replace the mayo on your sandwich with avocado slices.)

Maple Syrup

While this tasty topping for pancakes may be loaded with sugar and calories, real maple syrup also contains lots of healthy antioxidants. In fact, researchers from the University of Rhode Island found no fewer than 20 antioxidants in 20 litres of maple syrup from Quebec, including 13 never before found in maple syrup.

These healthy compounds include lignans that are also found in flax seed and whole wheat, a stilbene, which is in the same chemical class as the red wine extract resveratrol. Maple syrup also contains flavonoids, which are known for their anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer and antioxidant properties, and phenolic acids, commonly found in berries and coffee.

Not surprisingly, researchers caution to use maple syrup in moderation to avoid weight gain — and to keep in mind that the health benefits are associated only with real maple syrup, not commercial syrups with maple flavouring.

Nuts

Worried about the fat content in nuts? Again, if eaten in moderation, nuts can be a healthy and delicious addition to your diet.

Many nuts, including almonds, walnuts, macadamia nuts, peanuts, brazil nuts, hazelnuts, pistachio nuts, and chestnuts, are good sources of monounsaturated fat, protein, fiber, vitamins, minerals and phytochemicals that can help to prevent heart disease and cancer. Also, experts say that a few nuts can even facilitate weight loss, by preventing hunger and feelings of deprivation.

Sex, Food, Chocolate and the Church

2011-10-02T20:54:00.000-07:00

Sex, Food, Chocolate and the Church

In the 1600’s, chocolate was thought to be a powerful aphrodisiac, inflaming lustful passion. So much so that religious leaders banned monks and nuns from ingesting it.

In 1997, three French senators campaigned to have chocolate reclassified as ‘vital foodstuff.’ Chocolate, they claimed, with its high content of magnesium and various vitamins, as well as its stimulatory and anti-depressant properties, qualified for a reclassification, which would lower its tax rate from 20.5 percent and 5.5 percent.

Further, if chocolate were to be added to medicines, those drugs could qualify for the super duper reduced tax rate of 2.1 percent (applied to prescriptions) and these medicines could qualify for reimbursement by social security. It’s the PEA (phenylethylamine) that gets the ‘sex’ pumping! PEA creates feelings of euphoria, creating a yum-delish rush, as it causes the release of dopamine (the happy hormone).

Other foods that contain PEA are apples, avocados, tomatoes, cheddar cheese, and last but not least almonds, which is said to increase women’s sex drive, as it potentially improves heart health.

Read here about the power of pure chocolate.

Sacred Roots

Unadulterated, untainted, unmodified, pure cacao beans, the source of pure raw chocolate, is where it’s at! They are still used for rituals, in medicine and celebration in the Yucatan Peninsula.

Love and Sex

Cacao beans are a natural drug. They contain up to 2.2 percent phenylethylamine, the ‘love and sex’ chemical. Cacao beans contain other compounds that enhance mood, joy, creativity and imagination. Imagine that!

Buyer Beware

The main ingredient in most commercial chocolates bars is sugar, not cacao. Read the labels!

Suppresses Appetite

A shocker, no? Good fats are present in pure chocolate that that help to suppress appetite and stimulate the digestive system.

Ward off Vascular Disease

Chocolates contain a compound called Flavanoids, which can ward off vascular disease that can lead to heart attacks and strokes. The darker the chocolate, the more bitter tasting it is, the higher the Flavanoids.

Mental Acuity

Research at West Virginia’s Wheeling Jesuit University suggests that chocolate may boost your memory, lengthen your attention span, shorten your reaction time and strengthen your problem-solving skills as it increases blood flow to the brain.

Natural Joy

Unfortunately, we have been cut off from the natural joys of chocolate, due to mass produced candies that are cooked at high temperatures, whose ingredients include refined sugars, processed milks, stabilizing agents, extra caffeine and waxes. Chocolate with high levels of cacao is naturally joyful.

Meant to be Savored

I suspect that chocolate was not put on this earth to help you escape. It is a sacred way of connecting – to the moment. To the beauty. To the ability to taste. Savor the moment.

Know Your Limits

Plan on your one square per day, no more than one-ounce, and again make it a ritual of beauty, peace and empowerment.

Milk Chocolate Nullifies

Milk chocolate is created when milk is added to chocolate liquor. While it creates that creamy taste and texture that we all love so much, it cancels out all the healthful benefits of the cacao. In fact, technically it’s milk candy not chocolate!

HOW TO STOP OVER EATING

2011-10-02T20:46:00.000-07:00

How to Declare 'An End to Overeating'

Interview by Janice Taylor

If cake is your BFF (best friend forever), if the call of Cheeto sends you into an orange-stained spin, if you start to drool at the mere mention of Cinnabon, and/or if you are mad at yourself for giving in and diving into a vat of chocolate, then pull up a chair and start clicking for an interview that just may change your relationship to food and, in turn, your life.

Cracking the Overeating Code

JT: Dr. Kessler, you invested seven years of your life meeting with top scientists, physicians and food industry insiders, exploring and investigating just how we (Americans) have lost control of our eating habits. This research must be very important to you.

DK: Yes, very important on a number of levels. While watching Oprah, I heard a woman speak about her inability to control her eating, and the pain and frustration that accompanied her lack of control. I wondered, "What is going on? What's driving this?"

And I related to her story. There's almost nothing in my life that I do on impulse. But foods and the cues that surround them have the power to make me act against my own will. I wanted to understand how this works. I wanted to crack the code.

The Fattening Food Industry

JT: You found that the food industry plays a rather prominent part in the fattening of America. Please explain.

DK: The food industry is a for-profit business. Their business model is to pull out all the bells and whistles, load the food with multiple layers of salt, fat and sugar, thus creating what I call "carnival food." This carnival atmosphere keeps us wanting and coming back for more.

The food industry's first priority is to make their foods as highly 'palatable' and appealing as possible. They discovered that certain foods can and do keep us eating and eating, with no end in sight.

It's important to understand that when we think of the word 'palatable,' we think of something that tastes good. When the food industry uses that word, they are primarily referring to the food's capacity to stimulate the appetite and prompt us to eat excessively.

The Brain Chemistry Factor

JT: How does our brain chemistry come into play?

DK: Our brain is the command center of an elaborate communication system. It encourages us to seek out pleasurable things – food being one of them.

Palatability refers to how food engages our senses. Is it cold? Creamy? Does it smell good, and does it taste good? Usually, the most palatable foods contain layer upon layer of fat, sugar and salt. The combination of these factors can and do stimulate the neurons, which are the basic cells in the brain. The brain responds to these highly palatable, rewarding and pleasurable foods by firing electrical signals and releasing brain neurons that are encoded with 'palatability.'

Our brains are being excessively activated – bombarded throughout the day - by food cues. Food cues include the actual food we eat, as well as external cues such as anchors to time of day, location, sound and sight. These cues activate the brain, grab its attention, arousal sets in and it drives consumption.

Compelled by Carvel

JT: I'm having an a-ha! lightbulb moment. Every time I pass Carvel, the urge to go in and order a hot fudge sundae is extraordinary. It must be anchored to happy memories of my father taking my brother and me to Carvel on special occasions.

DK: Yes, exactly. Once the motivational circuits are triggered with food cues, your mind becomes highly focused, the anticipatory neurons are aroused and you are compelled to eat. And again, yes, whether your conscious mind wants to or not.

The Danger of 'Big Food'

JT: Goodness, we can all relate to that! Is palatability the only factor to the fattening of America?

DK: No. Another demon here is 'big food.' Portion size is a cue. The corporations drive the portion size, because they argue that they are just giving consumers what they want. The idea that more is better value.

Packaging Food Cues

JT: I heard you speak about the packaging on tobacco; explaining that just the crinkle of the cellophane might be enough of a cue to set a person off to seek a smoke. How does packaging and advertising play into the stimuli that cues us to eat?

DK: The advertising adds an emotional gloss which says to consumers, "you will love it; you will want it." Advertising is not really about providing neutral information - the facts about a product; it is about adding emotional gloss. The advertising campaigns increase "the want." The want factor alone can be enough to arouse the motivational circuitry.

The Way Out of Overeating

JT: So it's a trifecta of emotional gloss, portion size and the fat, sugar, salt combo which activates our neurons. We're being manipulated by the food industry. I don't know about you, but this makes me angry! Tell me, how can we affect change? Not just in our own eating, but in the industry.

DK: We need to educate. We need to understand what is going on in terms of 'palatability,' and understand that our minds are being stimulated. We need to get to the point where we realize that this kind of eating – the fat on top of sugar on top of salt on top of fat – is disgusting. That is the beginning of change.

The Role of Government

JT: Obesity is a major problem that threatens our health and well-being. It has reached epidemic proportions. What role should government play?

DK: Government should demand greater disclosure. Once you know how the industry is manipulating the foods and our brain chemistry; you then understand that this has serious implications for our generation as well as for our children. We are conditioning the behavior of our children for a lifetime.

JT: You've given us plenty of food for thought today. Thank you, Dr. Kessler, for your important and life changing work and for the time you've taken to talk to me today.

DK: Happy to do so. My pleasure. Thank you.

10 Prescriptions for Living a Creative Life

2011-09-23T22:23:00.001-07:00

10 Prescriptions for Living a Creative Life

Tap Into Creativity and Realize your Dreams

We are born creative, experiencing childhood from the creative, right side of our brain. Our early years are about exploring this creativity as well as learning how the world works by developing the logical and analytical left side of the brain.

As adults, concerned with matters of survival and success, we allow our creativity to fall into disuse. But, creativity remains a sharp and powerful tool that we can use to enhance our personal and professional lives. We can’t afford to ignore it.

Creativity is much more than artistic talent. Each of us has the ability to be creative when we know how to tap into this deep well within us. By harnessing the power of your creativity, you will discover new solutions to familiar problems and realize your highest dreams.

Don’t Try to Break Old Habits

Don’t try to break old habits. Instead, create new ones. It takes too much energy to resist and fight the urges and tendencies that are ingrained in us. Rather than struggle with these old beliefs and behaviors, just let them be and replace them with new, positive versions.

By nurturing these new behaviors, you will soon see the old habits fall away from lack of attention. And, remember to be easy on yourself. Hold back on self-criticism and let the new habits take root.

Reconnect with Nature

Walking or sitting at the ocean’s edge, wandering in the woods, a park or another natural environment – even a fountain in the middle of the city – refreshes the senses and un-clutters the mind.

Keep creativity alive within you by re-connecting with nature and fine-tuning your sensory body. Leaving your cell phone and iPod at home and taking a vacation from connecting with the electronic world – even for one hour per week – will enhance your creative power. It’s the best app going.

Think Small

One of the myths of creativity is that a burst of insight is accompanied by trumpets and fireworks and choirs singing. That’s not always the case. These bright illuminations often come in calm moments in the quiet circle of your life: while driving your car, sitting in the bath, or right before you fall asleep.

By paying attention to these small moments that occur between the big ones, you gain access to a gold mine of small, precious nuggets of creativity. Keep a notebook handy and write down these small ideas that can have big effects in your life.

Live a Life of Possibility

When you see the world as black or white, win or lose, either/or, you view reality along a 180-degree axis of extremes. When you expand your view to include the vast region between these opposites, you open your vision to the full 360 degrees of perception.

Living creatively means seeing the world as “both/and” – problems as challenges and as magnificent opportunities; being spiritual and wealthy. This is where possibility lives.

Answer the Voice Within

There’s a reason the voice within you is nattering away like a young child pulling at the hem of your skirt. It wants attention. It’s asking, “When is it my turn?”

Your inner desires and burning passions are that child within, craving your attention.

Living creatively means answering that voice and giving it expression. You don’t have to abandon the vigorous pursuit of your goals; just allow for that inner voice to be heard in the context of your whole life. Living creatively means you can pursue your profession and your passion.

Be Silent

One of the best ways to hear the creative voice within is to ignore the chattering of your thinking mind that constantly flits between past and future, demanding that you stay alert and in control in order to survive the “dangerous” world around you.

Short periods of meditation or simply sitting silently by yourself, watching, listening, reflecting – and simply feeling – the present moment are extremely powerful ways to silence the noises of your thinking mind.

Be Silly

One of the most enjoyable ways to blow out the bits of “mental cholesterol” that clog your creative arteries is to let go of control of your thinking mind. And, one of the easiest and safest ways to do that is to be silly. Wear a funny hat while cooking dinner, speak gibberish, play with your kids or dance with your dog.

The cool thing about being silly is you don’t even need others around. You can laugh yourself silly all by yourself.

Make Time Stretch for You

Not enough time for all you want to cram into your already-crammed calendar? Although time is a non-renewable resource, it is not fixed. It can be expanded.

Instead of trying to add other elements into your allotted time, choose to “include” them so that they are automatically integrated into your schedule. This is not a play on words. By living creatively you can re-sort your priorities and find ways to include a new activity.

No time to exercise? All of a sudden you discover you can walk up a flight of stairs rather than take the elevator; you can pace briskly while on the phone; you can repeatedly lift your briefcase or shoulder bag while waiting in line at the supermarket. All of a sudden, you’ve expanded time.

Establish Your “New Normal”

Sometimes being too comfortable is uncomfortable itself. Sometimes you’re forced to move out of your comfort zone.

The current buzzword for this is “reinventing” yourself. The truth is that you’re always making adjustments in your life to suit your changing needs and circumstances. There will always be times when you need to re-align the elements of your life. By integrating new habits and behaviors, you can create a new you – your “new normal.”

When you make a commitment to personal growth, you learn to sense the shifting winds. Are you growing increasingly dissatisfied with your work? Are you unhappy in your primary relationship? Are you a step slower, a few pounds heavier than you’d like?

You can choose to move beyond your comfort zone and establish your new normal before a physical or emotional crisis forces you to do so. All it takes is self- awareness, honesty and a willingness to embrace who you are now and who you are becoming: your new, more powerful self.

Explore the Poetry of Your Life

In a fiercely competitive world, your instincts urge you to do more in order to succeed. It seems logical. There is a limit to this logic, however – a diminishing return. Doing more of what you’ve been doing won’t necessarily bring you more success. Having more won’t make you more fulfilled.

To achieve balance in your life it is important to take time to explore your passion and joys, before physical and emotional exhaustion overtakes you. By do-ing less and be-ing more, you will not only reduce stress, but you’ll be more effective in your work and happier in your life.

2011-09-20T17:17:00.000-07:00

Find Comfort Amidst Arthritis Pain

Dealing with persistent, severe pain from arthritis means utilizing a combination of therapeutic strategies. While medications certainly play a role in reducing and coping with pain, experts say other activities can help to improve joint function — and help people deal with the emotional stresses of living with arthritis. Here are some simple pain management strategies to try at home.

Laugh

In a study published in theJournal of Holistic Nursing, patients were told one-liners after surgery and before painful medication was administered. Those exposed to humor perceived less pain when compared to patients who didn’t get a dose of humor as part of their therapy. Laughter — particularly belly laughter — can result in muscle relaxation and releases hormones associated with stress response.

What does this mean for the arthritis sufferer? A daily dose of laughter may help to ease pain, and stave off depression. Look for comedies to rent, joke websites, and friends and family members to provide sources of laughter.

Get Sleep

It’s a vicious cycle — lack of sleep can exacerbate pain, and pain can keep sleep at bay. But chronic fatigue really does contribute to pain, so prioritizing sleep where possible is key to quality of life.

Suggestions for ensuring that you get a good night’s sleep include: keep regular hours, avoid caffeine and alcohol, especially close to bed time, and use your bed for sleep only — don’t pile it high with articles on how to sleep.

Exercise

Research shows that a properly designed exercise program can improve joint health and also help to decrease pain. It can also be a great boost to the spirits! Be sure to consult with a doctor or physiotherapist to make sure the activity is appropriate. Swimming, stretching programs, yoga, and walking can be beneficial for people with arthritis.

Hot and Cold

Applying heat to muscles or cold to swollen jints can help ease pain and inflammation. For many people, alternating heat and cold works well. But each person is different so arthritis sufferers will need to experiment. Before beginning, it’s important to check with a physician, as some conditions might mean one or the other is inappropriate.

Types of heat applications include heat lamps, heating pads, hot water bottles, and gel packs. Types of cold applications include bags of frozen vegetables, or ice wrapped in a towel, cold packs, and vapocoolant sprays.

Get Away

Relaxation not only helps to release muscles tense from pain, it also encourages the body to release pain-relieving endorphins — the same hormones that are released in laughter. A successful relaxation technique will stimulate this release.

Relaxation techniques can be learned on one’s own, but consulting a health professional such as a doctor, therapist, or physical therapist may be the quickest route to finding one that is effective. It’s helpful to learn a technique that doesn’t depend too much on outside aids, other than a darkened room, peace and quiet, and a comfortable place to sit or lie down.

Stay Busy

The old adage to keep busy rather than dwell on pain actually contains a measure of truth. Although it can be difficult to concentrate on other things while in pain, studies have shown that distraction actually does help reduce the experience of pain by patients.

Distraction can range from enjoying films or television to participating in activities that focus concentration and absorb energy and attention. Cooking, playing games, or reading are simple ways to turn one’s attention to something else. And if some of those activities are social, so much the better — isolation can lead to depression.

Counseling

For major life changes or crises, professional help may be advisable. Community groups, churches, and schools often provide counseling and support groups to help people through these events.

Five Life Lessons Running Taught Me

2011-09-19T17:40:00.001-07:00

Five Life Lessons Running Taught Me

Runner's Wisdom

Want a life less than ordinary? Be less than ordinary

Naysayers are criticizing themselves, not you

Get by with a little help from friends

Don’t give up; You always have a little bit left

You truly can do anything you set your mind to

In the spirit of runners everywhere, I hope you know that you have no idea what you’re capable of. You are brave and strong. So, get active on the journey of your life. It has trails and dreams that you never imagined.

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How to Surrender to Love

2011-09-19T17:36:00.000-07:00

How to Surrender to Love

Corinthians 13~ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Practice Surrendering

Each and every day, sit – if even for a minute or two or maybe three – and practice letting go of the hundreds, maybe even thousands of fears that we have individually and collectively. Fear of not being good enough, not doing enough, being less than, fear of success and failure, fear of losing it all – whatever fears you have, practice surrendering to love.

Embrace

Instead of running from fear, instead of pushing it away or shoving it down, down, down; simply embrace it, and become intimate with it. Know it inside and outside.

Clear the Space

As the bubbles of fear go up, up, up know that you are clearing a space for true transformation; a space for all the gifts of the Universe, of God to be delivered to you.

Recognition

Recognize that a burning, indestructible core of life lives within you; the light of love. Recognize fully that God is love and love is God.Imagine

Place all your fears in a pink bubble and allow them to simply fly high into the sky, into the stratosphere and watch them dissipate and disappear.

Be the Bodhisattva

There you are, present, no longer trying to control or manipulate; no longer protecting and defending yourself from the slings and arrows of judgment and criticism. Simply surrender each moment to the next.

Love

Allow love to flow through you and then out; streaming out.

Surrender to Love

When you surrender to your own heart, you are surrendering to the veiled power of God. You are surrendering to love. God is love. Love is the interconnected force of the universe that unites us.

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Why Forgiveness is Truly Good for the Soul

2011-09-19T17:34:00.000-07:00

Why Forgiveness is Truly Good for the Soul

The Law of Forgiveness is a dynamic universal principle that can change our lives.

When we are willing to forgive we can unleash an amazing power, a flood of energy that can heal and uplift every area of our lives. When we are unforgiving, it can block our dreams, and goals. It can interfere with our relationships. It can turn our lives stagnant and dreary.

Why it is Important to Forgive

When you hang on to anger and resentment it only boomerangs back on to you. It is like locking yourself in a prison of your own making. The moment you decide to forgive, the universe rolls out an array of ways to heal the past and help you move on. Unforgiving people are bitter. When you forgive and move on, you are releasing yourself from the negative holds of the past and freeing yourself from the burden of bitterness.

Improve All Relationships and Opportunities

Lack of forgiveness tends to build a fortress around us and keep us from participating with friends and family. When you forgive those folks, your social life and family life will get a lot better. When we are unforgiving, it also blocks goals and dreams from flowing into every area of your life. Not only will your social life improve when you forgive, but you will be able to meet financial, job, career and health goals.

Attract Good Things into Your Life

Forgiveness is the key to open the door to the abundance the universe has to offer. When your heart is opened, you are like a magnet and can draw good things into your life. Each act of forgiveness begins with a personal decision in the heart of those wishing to be free from the tyranny of anger, resentment and fear. And each act of forgiveness brings you closer to having the life you truly desire.

Affirmation for Forgiving Others

You can forgive by saying a simple affirmation for the person(s) you’re angry with. Bring the person into your minds eye, imagining his or her higher happy self and tell them that you release them, let them go, whatever happened between you is finished forever, and you wish them well. Imagine them accepting your offer of forgiveness.

Try this Affirmation to Forgive Others: “I forgive you completely and freely, I release you and let you go. So far as I'm concerned, the incident that happened between us is finished forever. I wish the best for you. I wish for you your highest good. I hold you in the light. I am free and you are free, and all again is well between us. Peace be with you."

Affirmation for Asking for Forgiveness

You can use the same affirmation technique if there are people you feel you may have hurt or who are upset with you. This is a spiritual technique for asking people to forgive you. It is like a prayer. Make sure you use the person’s name in the affirmation. For example, “Bob forgives me, Bob releases me and lets me go, etc.”

Try this Affirmation for Others to Forgive You : "[Name] forgives me completely and freely. S/he releases me and lets me go. So far as [name] is concerned the incident that happened between us is finished forever.[Name] wishes the best for me. [Name] wishes for me my highest good.[Name] holds me in the light.[Name]is free and I am free, and all again is well between us. Peace be with us."

Affirmation for Forgiving Yourself

Again, using the same affirmation technique, you can forgive yourself. This is perhaps the most important affirmation of them all.

Affirmation to Forgive Yourself: "I forgive myself completely and freely. I release myself and I let me go. So far as I am concerned the incident that happened is finished forever. I wish the best for me. I wish for myself the highest good. I hold myself in the light. I am free and all again is well with me. Peace be with me."

Emotionally Release People from Your Past

These affirmations are multipurpose and can helpful untangle a lot of old feelings if you use them regularly. For example, you may hold resentment for people you haven’t seen in years. You may not even think about them, yet, these negative feelings keep you emotionally tied to them. Forgiveness breaks the unwanted tie. You do not need to contact the person you are offering forgiveness to, unless you choose to do so. Forgiveness is freeing. Imagine it as an emotional weight and spirutal burden being lifted off your shoulders. Some people even report they can breathe easier and feel lighter.

You Can Forgive the Dead

Some people are mad at deceased relatives, loved ones, friends or those who have hurt them over time. Even those old hurts tie you in an unhealthy way to the one who has passed on. That person is free, but you are not. If you feel anger and resentment for someone who has died, you can still forgive them. Simply use the affirmation for forgiving others.It can benefit your health and well being to begin to forgive anyone you feel anger and resentment toward – from the cradle and sandbox, through to your adult life.

It Can Make You Feel Better

When you sincerely forgive others, yourself or have affirmed that others have forgiven you, energy is immediately released to make your life better and help you feel better. Many people have reported meeting a goal or receiving a blessing within a week after forgiving. Some see results and changes in their life within moments or a few days. Forgiveness is something you must do for yourself and not the other person, yet it happens to be one of the most loving acts you can do for yourself and others.

It Does Not Mean Forgetting

You are not condoning or forgetting the behavior that hurt you. Forgiveness doesn’t require forgetting or condoning the person’s behavior. Instead, the person you are forgiving is no longer allowed to live rent free in your head. You are giving your memory of them an eviction notice and releasing their behavior’s hold on your life. And You do not need to reconcile the relationship in order to forgive. You can if you so choose, but it’s not necessary for forgiveness to positively affect your life.

Consider it an Ongoing Process

Some people might need a little more tries at forgiveness than other or you might find that it takes a while for you to get into the rhythm of forgiveness in your life. You can forgive the same person as many times as you need. Even if you still feel angry and hurt, focusing on forgiveness and using the affirmations will help you to feel better, and assist you to move through the cycle of healing more quickly.

Forgiveness Equals Good Fortune

The person you’re forgiving may be positively affected. Many people who have contact with those they have forgiven report they are nicer and more cooperative than before. People have reported receiving emails, phone calls and checks in the mail, some from people they haven’t heard from in years. They also report good fortune coming into their lives in many other ways -- receiving more money, gifts, job offers, new friendships and relationships. When we forgive, there is a new opening for good things to flow into our lives.

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10 Ways to Release Regrets

2011-09-19T17:23:00.001-07:00

10 Ways to Release Regrets

How Recognize Regrets and Move On

Painful endings can be tough on the heart and soul. Break-ups, lay-offs, sudden losses, or unexpected life changes can throw us off center and make us feel unsure about ourselves and our future. When someone or something pulls the rug out from under you, you may find yourself drowning in a caldron of emotions, anything from grief and remorse to anger, fear, or blame.

Whether you’ve experienced a recent loss or are struggling with an ending you’ve never come to terms with, you can move forward more quickly by finding effective ways to release regrets and uncover the hidden gift that the ending always brings.

Uncover Hidden Regrets

Refusing to let go of long-standing regrets or grief is like trying to water your garden with a hose that has huge holes in it. Only a tiny trickle of water can come through. Sometimes we aren’t consciously aware that we still harbor energy-draining regrets. Admitting to past or present events that pull on your attention and energy is an important step toward freeing yourself and moving on.

Tip: Identify where energy leaks are coming from so you can reclaim your full energy. Ask yourself: “What incidents from the past still come to mind from time to time and make me feel angry, resentful, or unhappy? Do I feel like a victim? Do I secretly blame myself for contributing to someone’s harmful behavior or allowing them to act out and hurt me or others?”

Accept Endings as Natural

When we are faced with an uninvited ending, it’s often our impulse to lash out at others or blame ourselves. That’s because we buy into the false belief that there is something wrong with endings—that they are unnatural. Take a cue instead from sages the world around who tell us that endings are a natural part of life’s cycles of change and transformation. Endings, in fact, can help us grow.

Tip: When you see an ending headed your way—whether the end of a job, relationship, or way of life—resist the temptation to greet it with bitterness. Instead, know that for some reason you need to turn off the road you are traveling on and take another route. Don’t continually look back or hang your head as if you are being punished. Expect that your new adventure will, in its own time, reveal its reward.

Choose the Present, Not the Past

Saying goodbye to even the most unhealthy situations can make us feel sad, angry, or ashamed. Yet holding on to those emotions keeps us anchored to the past. There is nothing we can do to change what has already taken place. Our job is to fully engage with the present moment, which is where we must be to take the next powerful step on our journey.

Tip: Remind yourself that letting go is a step-by-step process. It can be challenging, but trying to move forward while chained to the deadweight of the past is far more difficult. Be patient with yourself. Don’t ignore your feelings, but don’t allow yourself to get hijacked by them either. Acknowledge the pain and then determine to move on.

Create Your New Story

“He hurt me, she betrayed me, he cheated me”—those are all snapshots of what may have happened to you at one moment in time. By retelling and reliving that old, sorry tale, you are acting as if that moment describes the whole story of your life. It doesn’t. You get to choose how the rest of your story will unfold.

Tip: Claim your power to create a new story. Choose to stop dwelling on the past and talking about the people who hurt you. Ask friends to also stop bringing up those memories. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of your life right now and the wonderful things you are looking forward to welcoming into your life.

Depersonalize the Situation

Studies show that empathy and depersonalizing hurtful events can help us forgive more quickly. Empathy doesn’t mean that you approve of someone’s hurtful behavior, but putting yourself in another person’s shoes will allow you to become more objective and therefore deal more effectively with the issue at hand.

Tip: Ask yourself: “Even though I don’t approve of what that person did to me, can I see what may have caused him or her to do it?” You may not be able to relate 100 percent to people’s behavior but recognizing the pain and fear that drove their actions will help you distance yourself from their immature behavior and rise above it.

Look for the Lesson

We have all experienced a painful ending that turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Perhaps it freed you to pursue something better, taught you an invaluable life skill, or led to your life’s work. No matter how unpleasant an incident, you can gain something from it. Also keep in mind that when we don’t learn our lessons the first time around, we magnetize similar situations until we do. The sooner we learn the lesson, the more quickly we can move on to more fertile ground.

Tip: If you find it hard to let go of an incident, or you want to make sure you don’t encounter the same problem again, ask yourself these key questions and write down the answers: What insight, information, or invaluable lesson am I meant to gain from this experience? What did I learn about myself or about the others involved? How can I apply what I learned to the rest of my life?

Actively Seek Resolution

If you regret something you did in the past, you don’t have to let those events constantly crawl through your mind and burden you. Instead, take action so you can feel right about moving on. Come to closure by being proactive rather than letting regrets plague or paralyze you.

Tip: Look for a way to make things right. Find the person you hurt and apologize, even if the event took place years ago. Replace something that was lost or destroyed as a result of your actions. If you cannot resolve an issue directly with those involved, offer your good will to others in need. For example, if you cheated or hurt someone, volunteer your time or resources to support the elderly, jobless, or abused.

Create a Ritual of Release

Taking a physical action to honor an ending can help you release it once and for all. Get creative and plan a ritual or activity that allows you to express your feelings and is personally meaningful to you. Let this ritual mark the passing of an old era in your life and the initiation of a new one.

Tip: Hold an object—a stone or shell, for instance—and visualize your feelings about a painful incident being transferred into it. As you offer affirmations or prayers of your choosing, cast the object into the ocean or off the side of a mountain. Or try writing a private letter to God. Pour out your feelings on paper and ask for help in letting go. Consciously surrender the situation with a prayer of gratitude on your lips. You can also burn the letter (as long as you can do it carefully and safely), watching it and all vestiges of your attachment to the situation go up in smoke.

Say a Powerful Affirmation Every Day

Giving personal affirmations that reinforce your intention is a powerful technique for letting go and moving on. Your affirmation should be short, simple, and easy for you to remember and say aloud. Always couch your affirmation in the present tense to describe what you want to take place (not what you don’t want to happen).

Tip: Every morning when you awake and before you go to sleep, speak a simple affirmation like one of the following, tailored to your own situation and needs: “I am honoring myself today by opening my heart to a beautiful new beginning,” “Today I make decisions that bring me greater peace and joy,” or “I am grateful for the magnificent blessings that are coming my way right now.” As you say your affirmation, supercharge it with gusto and passion. See and feel what you are saying with your whole mind and heart.

Re-envision Your Future

Learning to let go is just one half of the equation of honoring endings. Forging your new beginning is the other half. As philosopher Henri Bergson said, “To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” To help you envision your new, improved future, you can work by yourself or with a coach or mentor, but be sure to take quality time to shape and focus on your new vision. Remember, what you focus on you will energize; and what you energize will become a reality.

Tip: List, in very specific terms, what you want your life to be like. Start by asking yourself questions like these: “What are the most important qualities (kindness, generosity, support, honesty, etc.) I value in my interactions with others? How do I want to be treated? How do I want to treat myself? What do I want to accomplish and how do I want to give my gifts?” Find pictures in magazines that reflect the kind of life you want to live and the people you want to spend your time with. Paste these images on a poster board and place it somewhere private where you will see it often.

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Seven Great Affirmations for the Unemployed

2011-09-19T17:21:00.001-07:00

Seven Great Affirmations for the Unemployed

It's in the headlines, on the news, and in our day-to-day conversations with people we care about: family, friends, co-workers, neighbors and people within our spiritual circles. When you're out of work, where do you turn when it seems nobody can help you or those you love? We can turn to a power greater than ourselves and use affirmative prayers.

Change Your Focus

Give praise. Take your mind off your life's challenges and shift your focus toward good thoughts and attaining a new job.

Affirmation: I love you God and welcome you into my heart. Thank you for blessing me with a new job.

Tip: For many of your affirmations, affirm as though you have already been blessed with what you are asking for.

Put Yourself in a State of Gratitude

Take a moment and reflect on all the good things in your life and give thanks. Change your thinking from lack to thanks.

Affirmation: Thank you God, you give me power, comfort and strength while I find a new job.

Tip: Affirmations without taking action are just wishes. Take steps forward every day to find a new job and give thanks for everything during the day. There is nothing too small to give thanks for. For example, thank God for the beautiful day, a smile, a kind word, not to mention your health, family, etc.

Connected with Your Higher Power--From Whom All Blessings Flow

Feel God's presence and know that God is within you right now, and that you are connected with God.

Affirmation: God, you are within me right now and you are helping me through my job search and helping me find the perfect job for me.

Tip: When using affirmations, don't beg. Instead, talk as though you are talking with your best friend. Talk and affirm positively, and know that you are loved.

It's Okay to Be Blessed with a New Job

God wants the very best for you..."whatever you shall ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive."

Affirmation: I am being led on the right path for me today for finding a new job, leaving all the details to God…I am blessed.

Tip: Some people believe for some reason they don't deserve blessings -- throw this idea out once and for all! You are a good person. You are loved. You deserve to be blessed, so ask to be blessed in prayer, believe you'll be blessed, and you will receive blessings!

Be On the Lookout for "Messengers" and Blessings

Be alert to messengers and events that have been sent your way to help you receive the blessings you desire, which includes helping you through the entire process of your re-employment.

Affirmation: God, because I see you everywhere, I easily recognize it when you are reaching out to bless me. I take continuous action and leave no stone unturned.

Tip: Set a goal. Have a clear picture of the job you want. Put your re-employment goals in writing. There are studies that report that those who put their goals in writing achieve dramatically better results than those who don't. So write down your re-employment affirmations in a journal along with your re-employment goals, and then take ACTION!

Bless and Love Others

"Love your neighbor as you would love yourself". When you are out of a job it's easy to feel very alone and isolated in your negative situation. Again, it's crucial that you maintain a positive mental attitude, and an easy way to do this is to say short, loving affirmations, blessing others.

Affirmation: I love and bless my family and friends. I love and bless all those who are in need of love, comfort and strength.

Tip: Decide to live in the now. Don't fret about the past, don't worry about the future. Don't go through your re-employment alone. Connect with family, friends, people you've worked with in the past, community services and your spiritual circle.

Use Your Talents

Whatever you put into the universe will come back to you ten-fold. You have special gifts. Reflect on these gifts and how they can help others. Be open to a completely different career; maybe a move to a new location. With every adversity there is the seed of an equal or greater benefit.

Affirmation: God, work through me now and help me do your good works. The more I help others, and do your good work, the more blessings I attract into my life.

Tip: While looking for a new job, stay active. Volunteer. Help others. It's the right thing to do and your volunteer work may very well connect you to a person or event that will help you become re-employed.