Sailing Away

Not everybody is beautiful.

2013-08-10T08:34:00.000-07:00

One beautiful lonely evening in the Costa del Salford, sitting in my living room with one eye on Big Brother and another on my Facebook newsfeed, my eyes came to rest on this picture:

You've probably seen the kind before. Girls like to share them as a way of celebrating the fact that they're not special but that they are proud of themselves anyway, or something. It has become the fashion to slate or mock skinny girls and guys with six-packs in favour of celebrating our "curves" and calling ourselves "real girls" because we eat too much and don't like admitting it.

We are "real girls" if we spend our days lounging around in no make up with unkempt hair watching trash TV, and our nights in dresses too small, kissing spotty teenage boys. "Real" if we eat kebabs, label skinny girls as sluts and develop a kind of strange arrogance that demands that people respect us for being somehow more "real" than somebody else. But is "real" just a justification for lazy?

Is "real" just a smokescreen, a snake telling us what we want to hear so that we don't have to feel bad about ourselves?

I don't believe that everybody deserves to be told that they are just as special as everybody else. What about a female athlete, who dedicated her teens, not to drinking alcopops and sleeping with boys, but to eating well, keeping fit and honing her skills in the hope of being the next gold medalist? Is she not "real?" Or the model, the woman who has spent her life keeping in shape and working tirelessly while all her friends are still in school to ensure that she achieves her dream before her shelf life runs out?

Just because we can relate more to the losers of life, doesn't mean that we should take away our admiration for the winners.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not saying that being 7lbs overweight is something to be ashamed of, but I don't think that lovehandles and bingo wings are things to actively celebrate and be proud of. Neither am I insinuating that we mere mortals should spend our days crying over our reflections, but it does sadden me to see people who have worked so hard on their image or career being portrayed as somehow lesser than those people who spend their entire lives in a state of mediocrity. Why can we not strive to be more like them, aspiring to perfection rather than celebrating our flaws?

In today's society, we glorify the weak and punish the winners.

The popular girls and boys are "stupid" and "slutty" while the outcasts make it cool to be awkward, or "random" and the like. It is seen as beautiful these days to be somehow imperfect, to have issues. Mental illness is glamorous, with thousands of Twitter accounts claiming to be insane, bipolar or psychotic as if these labels are just there to be claimed for the cool factor. Tumblr and Instagram are full of young people starving and cutting themselves, using each other's photographs as inspiration, all in some sort of twisted competition as to who can be the most screwed up. It is deemed somewhat cool to say that you suffer from insomnia or anxiety, and the amount of times that I've heard people who are mildly agitated claiming to be having a panic attack is laughable!

I don't want to have to slit my wrists to be deemed interesting! I don't want to have to suffer from an eating disorder to gain thousands of Twitter followers! Why do the interesting accounts, the positive accounts waste their genius on 71 followers while the sick boys and girls of the Twittosphere are worshipped as gods?

Having self-harm scars and an eating disorder don't automatically make you "interesting."

They don't make you "real." This culture that we have developed of not judging people for being average has gotten to the point where we are scared to acknowledge true beauty or true talent. I am not of the opinion that the boy with a deviated septum claiming dole money because he abandoned education for dubstep, is just as "special" as the one who worked hard and became a doctor, or travelled the world, or turned his body into a temple.

If everybody is special than nobody is.

And why does everybody need to be beautiful anyway? We can't all be beautiful and thin. Let's leave thinness to the models and stop trying to claim the title of "beautiful." Let's allow them to have their looks and be proud of something else about ourselves!

Maybe you've done a shed load of charity work and really made a difference in somebody's life. Maybe you're a brilliant academic and put top scholars to shame. Maybe you work three jobs just to get by and never complain about it. Maybe you should actually stand up and occasionally say that "YES, I am proud to be a male," instead of being scared of the feminist backlash, or "YES, I am proud to have huge boobs and a tiny waist," instead of being scared that someone, somewhere, will brand you a narcissistic slut just because they feel that they deserve to be confident and you don't.

Let us celebrate the good things about ourselves and not the bad!

Let us glorify the strong, the fit, the beautiful, the intelligent, the brave, the successful and the rich!

Let winners be winners!

Actually give yourself something positive to aspire to, so that maybe the next generation of teenagers won't want to be the girl famous on Tumblr for her anorexia, or the boys and girls that claim to be "nice guys" or "real girls" to make themselves feel better when the jock and the model are attracted to each other rather than to them.

Don't celebrate your mediocrity.

Samantha Brick: A Response

2013-04-18T11:40:00.000-07:00

Well, unless you've been living underneath a rock for the past year, you'll all know that Samantha Brick is the journalist that wrote that article for The Daily Mail about how women hate her because she's so beautiful. As expected, it got a huge backlash, and since then, Brick has been infamous for her narcissism, constantly being invited onto talk shows and radio shows (and even appearing on Celebrity Big Brother), for presenters to ask her the question on everybody's lips: do you really believe the things you write?

Brick continued to write articles (that include, but are not limited to launching an attack on former Spice Girl Mel B, proudly saying that she regularly checks her husband's emails and messages, as well as proclaiming that she doesn't need independence or a career because her life as a trophy wife suits her just fine), but none of them made quite as big a stir as the 'Why women hate me for being beautiful.' Until today that is.

Yup, old Bricky has done it again, this time asserting that being a true woman means being on a constant starvation diet, and that if we choose to ignore her advice, our husbands have the right to divorce us.

...Really?

I must admit, the article did make me laugh. A big part of me things that Samantha Brick is actually a Keith Lemon style spoof character because, surely, she can't be a real person. Can she?

I don't know. However, spoof or not (and I fear she isn't), Brick is entitled to her opinions. Of course she is. I am, though, also entitled to mine, and I am of the opinion that Brick's vile rhetoric promotes sexism, anorexia and all out rubbish and so here is my response to some of what she said:

"When my husband and I invited friends to dinner, I knew they'd want to bring something along as a contribution to the evening and made a point of saying that wasn't necessary. So when one friend arrived and thrust a hefty box of chocolates into my hands, I rewarded her with ice-cold contempt rather than the grateful smile she was clearly expecting. At the end of the evening, that very expensive box of hand-made French chocolates was consigned to the bottom of the kitchen bin, the contents ruined by the coffee dregs I had deliberately poured over them."

Now this is just ungrateful. If Samantha didn't want the chocolates, she didn't have to eat them, but the friend was clearly doing something that she thought was nice (and no doubt the "hand-made French chocolates" also cost a pretty penny), and so Samantha should have thanked the woman with a polite smile. Anything else is just unladylike and bad mannered. As for the pouring of coffee dregs over the chocolates, Samantha, was there really a need to start the article so spitefully?

"I am 42 years old and have been on a permanent diet for the past 30 years. The logic is simple and irrefutable: any self-respecting woman wants to be thin, and to be thin you need to spend your life on a diet."

For me, a self-respecting woman is somebody with a mind of their own and a career but that's just me. Maybe it's more self-respecting to be a trophy wife, ey Sam?

"I was glad to see the back of Easter this month, as it seems to have been hijacked by the greedy masses who regard it as a free pass to gorge on chocolate."

Oh come on, Easter is an excuse for children to go on hunts for chocolate eggs. Would you deny your child Easter eggs?

"For three decades, self-denial has been my best friend. And one of my biggest incentives is that I know men prefer slim women."

This is just sad. By all means diet if you feel better about yourself when you're slimmer, but not for a man! Do you think your overweight husband, Pascal, cares about his weight Samantha? Of course he doesn't! There's nothing wrong with wanting to be desirable and attractive to your partner, but it crosses the line when you make "self-denial" a priority for three quarters of your life.

"My husband of five years frequently tells me that if I put on weight he will divorce me."

Call me old-fashioned but when I get married, I want it to be for love of me as a person, not just the desire of my body. So what if I become a size 14 when I'm 40? There are more important things to a relationship than looks, and I shouldn't, at age 20, be telling this to a woman more than double my age. Samantha, if your husband tells you things like that then he doesn't love you and you shouldn't be married to him. No man, in shape or otherwise, should dictate what you are and are not allowed to eat. Unless his name is Christian Grey and he lives purely in the realms of erotic fiction.

"In the workplace, male bosses will always give the top job to a woman who looks fit and in control, rather than one who looks like a bulging sack in danger of imminent cardiac arrest."

I do not dispute this, but I firmly believe that it should serve as an incentive to change our politics, not our portion sizes.

"I fainted with hunger on one occasion - a minor hitch, eclipsed by the fact that I was being asked out on lots of dates."

More than worth it then! Remember to keep me updated on how many boys are chasing you when you're on a drip and dying from malnutrition.

"At college I invented the Polo diet. Eating a pack of mints for breakfast and another for lunch, I could make each one last hours."

HOW IS THIS ALLOWED TO BE PRINTED? THIS SHOULD BE CONFINED TO THE MURKY UNDERWORLD OF PRO-ANA SITES! THERE COULD BE CHILDREN READING THIS SAMANTHA! Seriously though, we live in a nation of free-speech, but attitudes like this are dangerous, especially when impressionable, healthy young girls could be reading the things you're saying. You have a degree of responsibility, whether you like it or not.

"One of my lecturers was so worried she pulled me aside to voice her concern. I put her intervention down to jealousy, as she was a size 16."

Maybe it was genuine concern because you were clearly suffering from an eating disorder Samantha.

"I even chose holidays according to the indigenous diet. India was a favourite because I lost weight on meagre vegetarian servings."

You have, without question, an eating disorder. This isn't normal! This isn't "dieting"! Living on mints, fainting from hunger and basing your entire life around food are all classic signs of anorexia. You shouldn't be advocating this.

"I was a size 8, and became accustomed to surviving on fewer than 1,000 calories a day."

Surviving on less than 1000 kcal a day is technically 'starvation' Samantha. Ask a doctor. I'm right.

'There is nothing that signifies failure better than fat.'

How about being unemployed? Incarcerated? Addicted to drugs? Being fat isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person.

"Pascal would not tolerate a fat wife and has told me that if I put on weight, our marriage is over. What more motivation do I need?"

I have already commented on how ludicrous this is but I feel that I should paste another one of these quotes about your chauvinist, sorry, 'husband,' just to emphasize what a pig he is.

"Today I am a size 12 and I never eat between meals."

Hm, so here is the point where I, as a reader, become even more furious. It's one thing promoting starvation, fainting and an obsession with being thin if you are thin. But Samantha, if you'd lived on less than 1000 kcal a day for thirty years, you would be thinner than a size 12. Sure, some people have slower metabolisms, and you've previously mentioned being a size 8 at times but I still find being a size 12, or even a size 8, difficult to reconcile with the lifestyle that you expect us to believe you have led. I think it's even more disgusting to advise girls of a normal, healthy weight, to restrict themselves to the extent that you apparently to, when you are no skeleton yourself!

A size 12, by any stretch of the imagination, is not fat. Please don't think that I am saying otherwise. However, for all your waxing lyrical about how your life has been devoted to self-denial, I can't say that I think it's been worth it. I think that if you really had denied yourself as much as you claim to, you would be a lot thinner.

And please don't accuse me of being jealous Sammy. I'm thinner than you, and (I believe) more attractive. I just don't feel the need to spend my life writing narcissistic blogs about my looks because my confidence comes from within and I think it downright unladylike to say the things about women in the way that you do. I am aware that I am sounding off at you, so could be accused of being hypocritical, but what can I say, you've got my goat.

"I lose at least half-a-stone each time (I diet), though the side-effects mean that I don't have the mental or physical fortitude to work."

If you don't have the energy to go to work then whatever you're doing isn't healthy. Sacrificing your mental and physical health for the sake of half a stone just isn't worth it, and I think that many people would agree with me.

Honestly Sam, I don't know how you can possibly believe all the things that you say. I pray to God that you're just doing it for another five minutes of fame and that you don't seriously suffer from these outrageous delusions. You'll never see this (I'm not controversial enough to be as famous as you are) but writing this open letter to you has been quite cathartic so thank you for that. I feel a lot calmer now than when I read your article.

Oh, something else? Women don't hate you because you're beautiful Samantha. They hate you because you're a deluded, disgusting, unpleasant human being. As for right now, I'm going to treat myself to some chocolate, and I'll still be thinner than you.

(Nb: you can read the original article here).

A Real Man

2013-04-08T07:28:00.005-07:00

What, in this day and age, is acceptable behaviour in a relationship? Is it okay to drool over other women, to ditch your girlfriend for Fifa? I take a look at what are commonly deemed 'acceptable' behaviours, and question just how acceptable they really are...

http://www.yuppee.com/2013/04/08/a-real-man/

A moment on the lips...

2013-04-06T11:29:00.001-07:00

Well, I have reached the end of my second week off university and it honestly has flown by. I've handed in another one of my assignments (a synopsis for a novel extract for teens) and have my other two assignments (said novel extract and a biography) all researched, planned out, and ready to escape my mind and be made immortal on paper. I'm not particularly enjoying my "novel" for teens as, to me, it's boring. I am not a "young adult", and so, to me, the things I read when I was 13 no longer appeal to me. I tried to make the book relevant somehow, and so my story centres around a girl in her last year of high school who is struggling to come to terms with her own sexuality. It's not bad but it's a bit...meh. My biography, though, is going to be so interesting to write, I can tell already. I'm writing about my nan's childhood, spent in a Maltese orphanage, throughout WW2, (during which Malta was one of the most bombed places in the world). She's told me so much about what life was like back then (over cups of tea and cake) and she really does have such an inspiring story that I'm glad I am going to be able to tell.

So what else have I been doing? Well, I went to Bedfordshire for three days with my boyfriend to stay with my family. The poor thing had to not only meet my aunties and uncles for the first time, but also had to endure my mum getting ridiculously drunk on the first night and forcing him to dance with her to an endless stream of Motown. That aside though, it was a lovely weekend. We ate until we popped, stayed up late, went on walks in the country, and had a mooch round antique shops and charity shops (I think he spent longer looking at books than me, which made me a proud girlfriend haha). I loved it, and was so glad that he could finally meet everybody.

Since I've been back I've been eating way too much (but it's fine because I'm doing the squat challenge yay) and this has included an afternoon tea at The Hilton with my best friend Heather. We were immediately greeted, addressed as "Madam," and had our chairs pulled out for us, before being given unlimited tea (we ignored the exhaustive list of herbal teas and opted for traditional breakfast tea), a glass of Champagne, and a tower (!) of food. We chatted to each other, eating finer sandwiches, scones with jam and cream and cakes, before immediately regretting our greed and having to wash it all down with a strong Americano to try and ease our bulging stomachs. Thankfully, because Heather is a doll and subscribes to Groupon, we got the whole thing for £12.50 each when it should have been around £27 each! The glass of Champagne itself was supposed to be £10! Ever the bargain hunters, we left feeling pleased with our purchase, and tea at The Hilton is definitely something I'd recommend, especially if you want to feel like you're on the cast of Made in Chelsea.

However, my posh food with Heather doesn't end there. Last week, she took me to Jamie's Italian. It was the first time I'd ever been, and I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't anything like I thought it would be! First off, the price. I figured it'd be way out of my price range, but I managed to buy two courses for £20 (calamari with lemon mayonnaise followed by a gorgeous seafood spaghetti packed with clams, mussels, squid & king prawns, mmm) and Heather treated us to berry Prosecco and a bottle of wine with our meal because she's extravagant like that. Honestly though, I cannot recommend Jamie's enough. The mains were affordable and interesting (chicken liver and rabbit anyone?) and the restaurant itself is by far the most beautiful place I have ever dined in. It used to be a bank, so it's marbles floors, high ceilings and stone walls are really something to behold, and the toilets are old vaults. When you have a wee, you are actually sitting in what used to be somebody's vault! It is like being in Gringotts,

We then went for a (£8) drink (on Heather) at Rosso, which was another indulgent experience. Rosso is filled with business men wearing Rolex watches, there was a man in a bow tie singing Dean Martin and the building itself also reeks of luxury. We only stayed for one drink, because by that time my conscience couldn't take any more of Heather's generosities, but it was really worth the visit.

This week ended with a trip to Red Hot World Buffet with my flatmate Becky. Not quite as upmarket as my other trips out, but still bloody brilliant. We weren't impressed that they had hiked up the prices for the duration of the Easter holidays (from £8.50 to £10) and stopped giving student discount (20%) on Fridays, but we sucked it up and proceeded to stuff our faces. Usually, when I go to RHWB I fill up on Chinese starters, so this time, I had a plan. In between each course, I drank a pint of water, and this enabled me to eat three plates (still not that impressive, I know). I had pasta salad, sweet and sour chicken, Thai red curry with squid, chicken in black bean sauce and Chicken Korma (not something I usually get but Becky tempted me), as well as a disgusting amount of breaded scallops and spring rolls. RHWB is great but if you're going to go, I would definitely recommend going in the evening, as there is a lot more variety on offer. I was bloody miffed that I couldn't stuff my face with sushi as is usually the case.

In other news? Not much. I finished A Street Cat Named Bob and began Red Dragon, became addicted to Geordie Shore and got to go to my favourite club in the world, Venue, with all my best friends.

25/03/13

2013-03-25T12:57:00.002-07:00

So we're finally here, halfway through second semester, and I'm happy. The last two weeks have been pretty good in that they've been

a) Productive and
b) I've had a good time

Six days ago I handed in my essay for my Cinema & Psychoanalysis module. I'd looked at The Wrestler and the concept of phantasy, more specifically, was Freud's concept of the ambitious and erotic wishes correct? I got really into it and ended up emailing my tutor asking him what the absolute maximum word count was, because I couldn't possibly stick to the 1500 that had been set. He told me that it was 1760, and I struggled to even fit all my ideas into that.

I do have more assignments this semester (four, to be exact), but I'm not too worried as they're all creative pieces (so no holing myself up in the library drinking Relentless, yay) and I already have an idea of what I'm going to do for each, so I'm going to try and get them finished over Easter so that I don't have to worry about them when I go back to uni. Plus, I enjoy the creative writing side of my course. I'd be writing short stories and whatnot anyway so I may as well be getting some credit for it!

My boyfriend went on holiday a couple of weeks ago, so aside from being worried sick that he'd snowboarded off a cliff every day, I actually had a good week without him because it gave me a chance to get up to speed with my work and go home to visit my mum (for the first time in forever!). Anyway, now he's back and we've been making up for lost time. In the week that he's been back, we've gone for sushi and to see Side Effects at the cinema, been to Sound Control for our friend's birthday night out, watched some brilliant films (I am still in love with Hannibal Lecter) and we've even made arrangements for him to come and stay with my family over the Easter weekend (meeting everyone, ooh).

Restaurants are something I've been seeing a lot of. I went to an Italian with my mum last weekend, and ordered my steak blue. The chef actually came out and congratulated me for being the first customer he's seen in ages to ask for it cooked properly! I also went to Wasabi (twice in a week, oops) and it's gone up in my estimation. I used to prefer Yo! Sushi as I love the whole disgusting raw fish side of sushi, but Wasabi do a gorgeous chicken katsu curry with sticky rice, AND three plates off the belt for £8.50. I'm hooked (excuse the pun, haha). I also discovered Panama Hatty's on a girlie catch up with Heather. We got the set menu, which was two courses for £12 (the average price of a main is around £13 so we did pretty well!). It was beautiful. I got a Stilton and mushroom bake to start and a smoked salmon risotto for my main, while Heather went for potato skins and Thai fish cakes with sweet potato fries. I can't recommend it enough, it really is gorgeous!

Some other things I'm into at the minute?

I've just finished reading The Bell Jar which is a lovely read. It's the partly autobiographical novel written by Sylvia Plath, not long before she committed suicide, and though it's about something very sad, the quirky narrative stops it from being too depressing. I also read The Kiss which is a memoir by Kathryn Harrison about her incestuous relationship with her father. It's obviously not a nice read but it was something I couldn't put down. What is it about tragic lives that has us running to books like a vulture to a carcass? To cheer me up, after I finished that I started to read A Street Cat Named Bob which I won't say too much about because I'll be reviewing it after it's finished, but cats!

Films, I watched Red Dragon again, as well as The Devil's Advocate (again!), Mama (worth a watch but not brilliant), Side Effects (worth a watch and kind of brilliant), Grave Encounters 2 (probably not worth a watch) and The Girl about Hitchcock (definitely worth a watch). I've also been racing through season 4 of Gossip Girl, and it's pretty safe to say that my life revolves around it. Guess it's a good job I've got two and a half seasons left to go! Tried to get the boyfriend into it but we've agreed to start watching The Following with Kevin Bacon instead. It's about serial killers so it's my kind of thing.

Which brings me onto my next point. Crime documentaries. Why have I never discovered them before? Me and my mum spent a weekend watching documentaries about Ted Bundy, Carol Bundy, Dennis Nilson, you name it, and I now share my mother's obsession with serial killers. I already knew a lot of them because I've borrowed her books on occassion, but it didn't stop them from being fantastic viewing. Psychopaths intrigue me.

Last but not least, I started writing for Yuppee which can now sit alongside Kettle on my writing CV. I've only written one article for them so far but I got a few new followers on Twitter, and the article itself got a fair few 'Likes' and 'Retweets' so I was pretty impressed with how it was received!

Anyway, it's almost 8pm and I'm late to my boyfriend's so I'll be off, but I've got three weeks off uni and lots of things to rant about so you'll be hearing more of me within the week :)

xoxo

Mormonism - What the Missionaries Won't Tell You

2013-03-24T14:44:00.002-07:00

What is Mormonism? I guess to most people, Mormonism is a branch of Christianity, more popular in America than in the UK, and that Mormons are annoying, albeit friendly people, who are prone to following people around and trying to convert them under the guise of making friends. I guess also, to most people, that Mormonism is relatively harmless, and not something that troubles them on a day to day basis. However, I'm sure that there are some people out there, whether they be curious theology students searching for a religion with solid foundations, newly sober alcoholics looking for something else to become addicted to, or simply unsuspecting bystanders who have been accosted by a well-meaning Mormon missionary, for whom Mormonism is more than something that wacky Americans believe in, and is potentially where their future happiness lies.

This article is not aimed at atheists, who believe that all religious beliefs are equally ridiculous, but instead directed towards people who may be thinking of converting to Mormonism, or perhaps to those looking into religion as a whole, and who want to see the other side to the story. We've all heard the stories about how Christianity is nothing but a faith stolen from Pagan myths, or how Jesus was actually married to Mary Magdalene, and now, here is the truth behind one of the fastest growing religions in the world.

You probably won't have heard of Joseph Smith, but if you have ever spoken to a Mormon, you will know that he is revered as one of the most important people to have ever graced the planet, being not only the founder of their faith, but also God's spokesman on earth, and somebody to be held in the highest regard possible. Now, if Joseph Smith really lived up to his reputation, than he would be a very interesting man indeed! However, by the end of this article, I hope to have given sufficient evidence for you to believe that Smith is nothing but a con artist, his church little more than a cult, and his followers good-hearted yet misinformed.

In this article, I will not try to convince anybody that God does exist, neither will I try and persuade you that, just because Mormonism is a sham, it means that God is also a sham. Neither will comment on the actual beliefs of the faith: I am not here to tell you that avoiding caffeine is ridiculous and that having dark skin doesn't mean that you have been cursed by God. Your beliefs are your own business. I am simply trying to put Mormonism under the microscope, and inform people looking into the faith of the areas in which it lacks. If, despite my findings, your faith in Joseph Smith is not shattered, then I am quite happy for you to go on believing in him, and in Mormonism. I just feel that every religious person has a right to know where their faith comes from.

Firstly, I believe it is important to know that for anybody thinking of converting to Mormonism, especially Christians, that Mormonism, despite it's claims, is not a branch of Christianity, despite what it professes. I could go on for days about the contrasting beliefs that Mormons and Christians hold, but I won't. Read your Bibles, and your Books of Mormon, and you will see for yourselves that Mormonism and Christianity believe totally opposing things, and as a result, are not compatible with each other. For now, just be aware that Joseph Smith said that Christian pastors are of the devil and that anybody who follows them will “all be damned together,” and that John Taylor, the third president of the church, said that Christianity was “a perfect pack of nonsense.” Not really things we would expect to hear from authoritative speakers in a religion that classes itself as a branch of Christianity, and definitely something to bear in mind if you are a Christian thinking of converting as, to be a true Mormon, you will have to give up some of your core beliefs. (If you're interested, Mormons believe the following: God has a tangible body made of flesh and bone, Jesus was married, we become Gods when we die, there are many gods, God has a wife and we should not pray to or try to have a relationship with Jesus. Good luck marrying all that with your Christian theology.)

Anyway, here are some things about Mormonism that the missionaries won't tell you:

Joseph Smith was involved with the occult. In 1826 he was arrested for fortune-telling, something the Bible condemns. He also possessed an amulet that was said to bring wealth and power, used “Seer Stones” and contacted the dead, all practices which go against mainstream Christian doctrine.
The first account of Joseph Smith's “First Vision” was not published until 1838, 18 years after it is alleged to have happened. However, what most people don't know is that there were actually five earlier drafts of the tale that were published that the Mormon church kept hidden because they contradict the “official” testimony. Smith's first account says that only one personage appeared to him, the second account says that there were “many” personages, and the third says that there were two. Which version if any, is true?
The Book of Mormon was translated by Smith from “reformed Egyptian,” a language never known to exist.
The book is supposed to detail events from 600BC to AD421 but instead details political, social and economic concerns of the 19^th century, when Smith was writing. What's more, there are many instances in the book that describe things that simply could not have been possible. For example, steel is mentioned in the BoM (Laban's sword blade was made of steel and Nephi had a steel bow but steel didn't exist at the time). In addition, Nephi found cows, horses, oxen, asses and goats when he arrived in the New World in 590BCE, but none of these animals existed in North America before the Europeans brought them over 2000 years later. Funny, huh?
Another example? The BoM presents the picture of relatively homogeneous people, with a single language and communication between distant parts of the Americas but history tells us the opposite: widely disparate racial types and many unrelated languages, none of which are even remotely related to Hebrew or Egyptian.
Need more evidence? No Book of Mormon cities have ever been located, no person, place, nation or name has been found, no artefacts, no scriptures, inscriptions or gold plates have ever been found. This is in contrast with the Bible which, Christian or not, we cannot deny the existence of, say, Bethlehem or Pontius Pilate.
Smith said that the BoM was the direct word of God, yet since it's publication, over 3000 changes have been made to it. Now, certain changes can be excused (The Bible has often added or subtracted words such as “and” or “the” as well as changing certain translations to make more sense), but in the BoM, even names of rulers are changed, with King Benjamin being changed to King Mosiah. Did God just make 3000 mistakes? Did he change his mind? Or was Smith actually the author of the BoM?
This is in addition to the Doctrine and Covenants, which has seen more than 65, 000 changes over the years. Perhaps God was just having another off-day?
A portion of The Pearl of Great Price, The Book of Abraham, has been proven to be a forgery. It is in fact a copy of a Pagan text, The Egyptian Book of Breathings.
Another account of plagiarism refers to the BoM using content from View of the Hebrews and the King James bible. If the Book of Mormon depicts events from 600BC then why does it share quotations with a book written 2000 years later? It even contains translation errors from the KJV bible! A careful study of View of the Hebrews (published two years before the BoM), led one church official, B.H. Roberts, to conclude that the BoM did not depict actual historical events, but was instead concocted in Smith's mind as a result of reading this other text.
More examples of God appearing to “change his mind” within the Mormon church can be seen when we look at some of it's principles, which are no longer practised, but were once seen as fundamental, essential and eternal. Now, in certain cases such as polygamy, this is understandable. All religions adapt over time to changes in the law, or in the way that society views things. However, how does the Mormon church explain the changes of their core beliefs which include the belief that Adam is God the father. Has Mormon theology actually changed it's mind about who God is?
Smith also claimed to be a biblical prophet who regularly received personal revelations from God. However, the majority of his predictions never came true, casting the authenticity of this claim into doubt.

Now, any historical record will be flawed to some extent. There will be certain things that we will never know, and can only speculate on, evidence that we have misinterpreted, or information that was never recorded correctly in the first place. Every holy text probably has flaws, biographies of famous people are flawed, and accounts of battles or any other major historical event can be flawed.

We are human.

Sometimes we make mistakes or lack evidence.

However, we must as ourselves the following questions about Mormonism:

Does the BoM and its counterparts genuinely try to teach it's followers the truth, or does it hide the truth?

Does it cover up it's mistakes or does it admit to them?

Does it steal material from other sources whilst claiming to be original?

Did Joseph Smith, a narcissist already convicted of having dabblings with the occult, have an ulterior motive for having his alleged “visions”?

Are there few enough mistakes that we can overlook them?

Or is the BoM, riddled with errors and controversies, simply a text invented by a man desperate for fame, adoration and power?

A man who lacked the knowledge to write a historically accurate text?

A man who made mistakes and who has since been protected by the church to avoid losing face?

I think the evidence speaks for itself.

Is Kim Kardashian the worst role model ever?

2013-03-12T12:10:00.001-07:00

Just who is Kim Kardashian? What does she do? Is she a good person? A good role model? Just what message is Kim Kardashian sending out to impressionable young girls? You can read my full article on the subject at:

http://www.yuppee.com/2013/03/12/is-kim-kardashian-the-worst-role-model-ever/

Narcissism - a disease?

2013-02-27T18:53:00.000-08:00

Reading possibly the thickest book I've ever seen in my life (and I own a hardback, A3 Bible), I finally reached the end of the essay that I was reading, and with an inner sigh of relief, thanked God that I was finally finished making notes on the pleasure principle and the compulsion to repeat that which causes us no pleasure (yes, Freud, I get it, we all are masochists with Daddy Issues). All I wanted was to relax in bed with an episode of Gossip Girl and some food. And then I saw the title of the next essay.

"On Narcissism."

Well, I couldn't resist, could I? For the next forty minutes, I lapped up every word that my favourite crazy scientist had to say, and for once, was surprised to find that Freud's theories on narcissism actually seem to agree with mainstream psychology (those who have had any experience reading Freud will know that he's not usually the most conventional of gentlemen).

So, what exactly did Freud have to say on narcissism? Well, firstly, that narcissism is a way of clinging onto childhood. As children, we often find ourselves perfect. We don't have insecurities and inferiority complexes. However, this level of arrogance is not socially acceptable when we grow up, and it often becomes repressed. When a man's ego gets criticised by others and condemned by his superego (or conscience), he seeks comfort in creating this "ideal ego", which he can worship. Thus, this degree of self-love, or ego worship, is a defence mechanism, created by the unconscious, to deal with feelings of inadequacy and inferiority.

This may explain then, why the narcissist reacts so strongly to perceived criticism, and will even go so far as to assume that anybody that refuses to worship them is "jealous", another way that the mind deals with potential trauma. First, the narcissist will laugh off any criticism, accusing people of being jealous, and of "wanting to be them". They are incapable of believing that perhaps somebody genuinely doesn't like them, or isn't attracted to them. Their ego can't deal with it, and so they create the delusion that people are jealous of them as a way of preventing this mental collapse.

Anybody remember Samantha Brick? Samantha wrote an article for The Daily Mail last year about how women hate her because she is beautiful. Now of course this caused mass public offence, as women everywhere were quick to point out that the reason they dislike Ms Brick, is nothing to do with her looks, but because she seems like an arrogant, ignorant piece of work. However, Samantha refused to believe that the dislike could stem from anything but jealousy, and remained adamant that her personality had nothing to do with society's dislike of her. Now, I don't know about you but I don't particularly want to have pillow fights and talk about boys with Samantha Brick, and this has nothing to do with her being prettier than me. It's more to do with the fact that she seems like a horrible woman with a toxic world view, and not somebody that I want to be spending my time with

But let's not waste our time hating on old Bricky. She's got enough haters. My point was merely that Samantha's fragile ego simply could not handle the enormous backlash that her article received, and so created a delusion that all the outrage stemmed from jealousy of her good looks. This is a typical Freudian defence mechanism. Has anybody seem Shutter Island? The protagonist, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, is unable to cope with the fact that he murdered his wife, and by extension, his children, and so represses the memory and creates an alternative reality in which he is a completely different person. Although a more extreme example, this still illustrates that same point: we are masters of believing our own delusions.

So what happens if the narcissist is unable to believe his/her delusions? Well, that's when we finally see some real emotion. Anger. And I'm not talking about the kind of anger you feel when your house mate doesn't wash the pots, again. I'm talking about a murderous fury, a blind rage that makes you want to ruin somebody's life, end somebody's life. This sounds extreme, and it is, but we must remember that this kind of anger is a completely normal response for the narcissist. Patrick Bateman, the psychopathic killer in American Psycho, murders when people make him feel inadequate, usually by having better taste than he does.

We can also see a flirtation of this in the ITV series, Gossip Girl, with Blair Waldorf. A classic narcissist, Blair lives off control and domination, gaining pleasure only from the manipulation and social control of others. Whenever she feels scorned (usually by some imagined incident, exaggerated in her mind), she goes out of her way to seek revenge on whoever she feels has wronged her. Extremely insecure about her mother preferring her best friend, and her first love cheating on her with the same friend, Blair makes everything a big game in order to regain some of the control that she doesn't have in other aspects of her life. (She also suffers from bulimia, a common result of people who feel as though they have no hold over their own lives. By controlling what they eat, people with eating disorders can take back that control.) I could sit here and analyse Blair all day, talking about how she looks down upon people poorer, or of a lesser social status than her, in order to make up for the deep-seated insecurities that she truly feels, but again I'm getting carried away. This was never supposed to be a psychological profile of Blair Waldorf.

I guess the key factor in narcissism, which I hadn't really considered before this week, is it's roots in mental illness. Although I've always known that narcissistic people are really making their own insecurities, I've never thought about it past that. Adler, who coined the term "superiority complex", says this: "The normal person does not have a superiority complex, she or he does not even have a sense of superiority. She or he has the striving to be superior in the sense that we all have ambition to be successful; but so long as this striving is expressed in work it does not lead to false valuations, which are at the root of mental disease."

It is easier to recognise narcissism for what it is - a mental illness - when we consider the other qualities that a typical narcissist demonstrates. These qualities can include but are not limited to glibness (superficial charm), a grandiose sense of self-worth, pathological lying, being manipulative, showing a lack of remorse for actions and empathy for others, and a failure to accept responsibility for their own actions. When we consider that psychopaths are not just found in movies or behind bars (did you know that 1/100 people is a psychopath?) this word, "narcissism", that is so often thrown around, suddenly seems a lot more sinister.

My last point, and the last characteristic that Freud spoke about when addressing narcissism, was that of paranoia. He stated that when one is so unhealthily self-obsessed, a paranoia develops. The foundations of this paranoia, are not rooted in the external world, but in the subject's own ego. In other words, they are that obsessed with themselves that they think that everybody else must be as well. A lecturer told me a few weeks ago that teenagers have been proven to be less perceptive of facial expressions and what they mean than adults. The lecturer then went on to say that many teenagers are egocentric. Thus, the egocentrism, married with the poor perception, results in the "What do you think you're lookin' at?" phenomenon, as the teens become paranoid that everybody is "out to get them."

This is similar to the narcissist, who is highly sensitive to perceived criticism. While a normal person's superego usually provides a healthy amount of self-criticism, the narcissist's inflated superego provides an almost endless stream of judgement and criticism, masking itself as paranoia of the outside world. Rather than tell the ego "You look fat today," it will tell it "Jessica thinks you look fat today," creating a distrust and paranoia, the same paranoia that can so easily lead to the extreme outbursts of anger I mentioned before. The narcissist wants more than anything to liberate themselves from outside influences (parents, society) that pose a threat to its fragile ego. They repress the inferiority, replacing it with a shallow sense of superiority, and vow to ruin anybody that threatens their ego.

Interesting, ey?

Daddy's Little Girl

2013-02-27T13:43:00.001-08:00

(Note: There is a song that accompanies this piece. I feel that it is too distracting to be played alongside the piece but is very effective if played before reading. The words in italics in my piece are lyrics from the song, and I feel that the song itself is very appropriate for my piece. You can find it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNpcfTVogVI )

Do you realise that one moment you could be getting on perfectly well with your life and the next you could be in an asylum? Does it bother you? Do you care that the people who are supposed to love you the most can never be trusted? Can you be trusted? Are you happy? Do you ever feel like your happiness is fragile? Are you in control of your own emotions? Should you be? Have you ever lay in the foetal position and cried? Do you believe in God? Are you fully engaged with the act of sex or do you do it because you feel you have to? Do you have any sexual fantasies that you can never tell anyone? Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Is your father handsome? Do you get jealous easily? Do you smoke because it is glamorous? Do you bite your nails? Do you tap your leg? Can I be trusted? Would you believe me if I told you that women are more likely to be treated for a mental illness than men? Do you know that depression affects 1 in 5, that 10% of children are mentally ill, that the UK has more self-harmers than anywhere in Europe? Have you ever self-harmed? Did you know that 9% of people suffer from anxiety or depression? Are you aware that more than 5700 people committed suicide in 2010?

Do you care?

I dress up for the doctor. I'm not allowed hair slides in case I use them to kill myself but I'm allowed a bit of lipstick so a bit of lipstick it is. At first I worry about what we're going to talk about but then I realise that he's a doctor and that is isn't my job to worry about things like that.

“You've got lipstick on,”

“Yes Doc,”

“You're covering up your lips.”

“Yes Doc,”

“You're covering up something you want to say.”

It's anger deep inside of me.

I winked.

“Maybe,”

He scribbles something down. Long fingers, like cigarettes. Cigarettes like the ones Daddy smokes.

Memories of you.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I'm thinking about the reason why I'm in here.”

More scribbles.

“Do you know what that reason is Lily?”

“Of course. I'm in here because of what my Daddy did to me.”

When they tell you to be the best, don't be fooled. When they tell you to study hard, to eat right, to turn up to every damn swim practise even though all your friends are out doing fun stuff with each other, don't be fooled. Don't think that doing all of these things will make you gain anything. Everybody listens to their parents when they're young. We're programmed to answer to authority. What we don't have is an inbuilt mechanism for how to cope when that authority asks for more and more. Don't be fooled. That A grade, that trophy will never be enough. They will always want more. You will never be good enough. Keep trying, do everything you can to please them and it won't be enough. Maybe if I just do this one thing Daddy will love me. Maybe if I just pushed myself a little bit harder. But no.

They always want more.

You know being in here would send anyone crazy. Sounds so glamorous, celebrities always going off to detox or rehabilitate or whatever it is they do but it's not. I don't know who they think they are but they won't give me my cigarettes, they won't give me my phone, it's like they actually believe I'm one of them, one of the actual crazies.

I even have to share my cell (I'm calling it a cell because it is a cell) with a full-on, window-licking retard. She doesn't even talk, she just sits and rocks and it's making me want to

CLIMB

THE

WALLS

See, nobody seems to get that I am not like these people. How is it so difficult to understand? Maybe I'll start shitting all over the walls to give them what they want. Is that what you want Daddy?

They came to see me today. Daddy and Sandy. We sit opposite each other in silence. They're holding hands. Sandy's wearing peach coloured nail polish. Peach, like a fucking salmon. Daddy's thumb gently strokes her hand in that absent-minded way that people do when they're in love. I bristle. They ask me something, I don't know what. Some stupid question about how I've been, or what I've been up to. These empty words don't mean a thing.

How do you expect I've been Daddy?

They look at each other. Sandy does this thing with her mouth, a cross between a sympathetic smile and a grimace. Daddy shrugs. It's as if they're disappointed that I'm not having the time of my life in here, that I'm not raving about finger painting or any of the other retarded shit they make people do in here. I didn't ask to be in here Daddy. Perhaps you should have thought about that before.

This love that never lasts. Love that fools so easily.

Doctor Spock, I'm calling him that from now on, is tapping his pen, pushing that little button that makes the nib go in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out

I CAN'T HANDLE IT

I wanna grab it off him and snap the thing in half but of course that'd be a crazy thing to do wouldn't it? That'd land me another 6 months in here, easy.

Someone has scratched the door. I don't know who did it but they must have crept in without my knowledge because I've not left this place in, oh, a while. I haven't slept so whoever did it must have been very sly but they are sly in this place. Anything to make you think you're losing your mind.

Long white scratches, eight of them for eight fingers. My own fingers are long, brittle like thin cigarettes. Cigarettes like...

No.

Choking on your fear.

I have long hair as well. Long fingers and long hair. I was a beauty queen once. There's blood underneath my fingernails. I don't know how it got there. The blood or the scratches. That's worrying to me as I am quite aware of everything that goes on in this room. I have counted the nicks in the floorboards, 72, and the cobwebs, 7, but I just can't account for those scratches on the door.

I am trying not to worry too much. I will soon find out, I'm sure. I find everything out, don't I Daddy?

Memories of you.

Everybody stays away from me in here. It's as if they know how superior I am. They won't make eye contact with me, and so they shouldn't. I wouldn't talk to them anyway. Spazzes, the lot of them. Everybody except Billy. Billy's the janitor. He's young and chubby and has one of those friendly faces, the kind of face that you just know has never lied to anyone, has never hurt anybody. He never swears and he believes in God. It wasn't difficult getting him to notice me. I made him play chess with me. I like chess. Despite what you may think, I am actually a very clever girl. I've won prizes. So we played chess and I talked to him and made him laugh, and kept catching him looking up at me from underneath his eyelashes when he thought I couldn't see.

We fucked in the disabled toilet. I was on top, reverse cowgirl. I don't like looking at people when I have sex with them. He lasted about 5 seconds but that was a good thing. It's nice being adored.

ROGERSON HOSPITAL

NO. 22 201 NAME: JONES, LILY

2011

SEP 9

PROGRESS NOTE

LILY SUFFERED AN EPISODE OF DEPERSONALISATION YESTERDAY WHERE SHE EXPERIENCED AN EXTREME BOUT OF ANGER AT TWO MEMBERS OF STAFF THAT RESULTED IN HER BEING LOCKED IN HER ROOM DURING REC TIME. WHEN THE STAFF MADE THEIR 30 MINUTE CHECKS, THEY FOUND LONG SCRATCHES ON THE DOOR AND BLOOD UNDERNEATH LILY'S FINGERNAILS. SHE WAS UNRESPONSIVE AT FIRST BUT WHEN STAFF EVENTUALLY MANAGED TO GET HER TO TALK SHE DENIED ANY KNOWLEDGE OF THE SCRATCHES. THE ANGER SEEMED TO RESULT FROM ANOTHER PATIENT TELLING HER THAT HER FATHER DOESN'T LOVE HER. TODAY LILY SEEMS MUCH BETTER. SHE HAS BRUSHED HER HAIR AND PLAYED A GAME OF CHESS WITH MR SMITH THE JANITOR, DURING WHICH SHE LAUGHED AND JOKED WITH HIM.

I wake up in cold sweats, my eyes wide open, struggling to breathe. I see a shadow on the wall. A man. Wait. I sit up, rubbing my eyes, making the transition from sleep to wakefulness. What just happened? I rub my temples. Was that a nightmare? But it felt so real. A memory? I see his face, the sadness in his eyes as he waves before driving away. Regret. Why did you have to do this to me Daddy? Why could you not love me in the way you should have done, in the way I needed you to?

“You've styled your hair,” Spock said.

I didn't answer.

“You've styled your hair for me. You're trying to impress me. You want me to like you.”

I felt my eyebrow twitch. Cheeky, but on the ball.

I winked.

“Maybe,”

“Why do you want me to like you?” His head was tilted. “Is it because you need approval? The authority. It is because of what your father did to you?”

I didn't need to answer. He was already nodding.

“What is it, exactly, that you think my daddy did to me, Doc?”

“Now Lily,”

“No, I'm interested. See, I don't know what he's supposed to have done,”

Spock looked sad.

“There's no need to pretend, Lily. You're safe here.”

“But what did he do?”

I knew what he was implying. I wanted to hear him say it.

“Lily, sometimes parents don't show their children love in the way that they should do. Sometimes they...”

“I know. They fuck their children.”

Spock didn't say anything.

“You think my daddy fucked me.”

Nothing.

He was going to stay silent until I said it so I figured I may as well.

Revenge is running through my body.

“Okay. You're right. My daddy fucked me.”

And then the world went dark.

When I opened my eyes I was back on the chair with a wet flannel on my head. Doctor Spock was holding it. Holding me.

So fast racing against my heartbeat.

“Well, hello there,” I joked, trying to sound sultry. He was knelt on the floor in front of me, looking up at me in concern. Our faces were inches away. I looked at his lips. Felt my head moving in, closer. Before I had time to process what I was thinking he'd shot across his office quicker than it took Billy to orgasm.

“I think it's time you left. The nurses will take care of you,” he gestured towards the door and turned to his computer. It was over.

They're discharging me. In the weeks since I told Spock about Daddy they've stepped up their game, booking me in for extra therapy lessons and giving me a room of my own. Old Virginia would be proud. After all, it was her that said an artist should have a room of one's own. It's as if they enjoy my admission. It makes them feel important, as if they can now somehow justify what a little bitch I've been and use it as an excuse to wrap me up in cotton wool before going home and gossiping to their neighbours about what a tragic little life I've had, dunking their biscuits into their tea, savouring the absolute dreadfulness of it all. I'm the most excitement they've had in years. I almost feel duty bound to do what I'm going to do next.

After all, I've never been one to disappoint.

I'm in prison, sat across a table from him. It's my first and only visit and we have precisely twenty-seven minutes left. I've styled my hair and I'm wearing tiny denim shorts and expensive scent. I can feel the prison guards watching me, but then I didn't expect any less.

He's not actually a real prisoner yet but Mr Badel says it's only a matter of time. Mr Badel is my lawyer. He wears a grey suit and a ring on his little finger. He has five children and probably eats a lot of curry. He certainly smells as if he does. No matter. Daddy will be sent down. The fact that he's being held here until trial is almost proof enough, Mr Badel says.

I can't work out the look in Daddy's eyes as he sits across from me. It's resentment but it's also sadness, a little love and a lot of confusion. He doesn't understand. That makes me even more sure that what I'm doing is the right thing. My anger is almost turning into amusement at the irony of it all. Daddy sends me to this god forsaken place where they pretty much beg me to remember some incident that never happened until I crack and tell everybody my Daddy raped me, and then boom, it opens a huge fucking can of worms and before I know what's happening, he's being sent down for statutory rape.

I smirk at the thought and that's when he speaks.

“Lily, why? Do you know how serious this is? Why would you do something like this?”

I'll slice you open.

His pleading, bewildered look makes me want to puke. What does he want? Sympathy? Even if I felt something close to that, surely he understands that this is the only way, that there's no going back now.

So you feel the pain from you.

I glance to my left and see the youngest prison guard watching us. Watching me. I give him a wink, making him blush and turn around. See, men are under my control. All men. And if they somehow resist then they pay. I make sure of it.

Steal back my love from you.

He's still going on. I almost roll my eyes.

Steal back my love.

“You can still tell the truth Lily, there's still time! We can fix this. Come on honey, you know I haven't done anything, you know it.”

For the first time, I smile.

“Exactly.”

Do all uni students do drugs?

2013-02-25T18:45:00.000-08:00

This is a response to an article I read on Social Student (which you can find here). It isn't my full opinion on the matter. It is literally a response to somebody else's opinion on it. Because they are wrong, and I am right. (You should probably read their article first so that you know what I'm talking about.)

The person who wrote the article admitted they like to "binge drink as much as the next student" but that they don't want anything to do with drugs, or the people that take them, telling of how they disowned their old best friend when she started using the drug mephedrone. Now, I don't want to start bashing alcohol, because I too, like to "binge drink as much as the next student" (although I would never have phrased it like that), but I'm not going to be so hypocritical as to ingest something that has been proven to be dangerous while preaching about how dangerous drugs are. Because they're not. Not the drugs that students do anyway. Sure, they have their disadvantages, but I refuse to believe that MDMA or cannabis are anywhere near as dangerous as alcohol. I've seen the videos in high school biology. I've sat through my drug awareness lessons in Citizenship. I've clicked through the pages of FRANK and Wikipedia. I know. And you will too, if you do the research. The government are even considering using MDMA to treat depression. Will you be so against it then, when it is instead marketed as being healthy, as something your doctor prescribes?

If you're going to get judgemental about people who use drugs, then just make sure that your own vices are harmless, because really, what's separating you, a drinker, from somebody who uses recreational drugs? The law, that's what. And laws change. I remember my old science teacher telling me that if alcohol were discovered today, it would be banned immediately. And so it should be really. My life would suck without alcohol but if we're basing the law on how dangerous something is then alcohol should be up there with the real bad boys.

Of course people who are at university probably consume more drugs than people at school or college. That's because they've moved out, and are living with their friends, thus not at risk of being caught grinding their teeth at 7am by a disappointed father. However, universities are not full of drug takers. People who use drugs tend to hang around with other people who use drugs. If you don't want to take drugs then don't go to huge house parties that everyone is saying will be like "something off Skins", don't go to clubs that open at 7am, don't go to certain dub nights. If you listen to drug music, go to clubs with a reputation for debauchery and spend all your time with people who like to take drugs then congratulations, you'll probably be offered drugs at some point. If it's not your thing, stay away from the scene. Or just say no. From my own experiences at uni, I've found more pressure to drink alcohol than to take drugs. It's quite acceptable to tell someone "Drugs aren't my thing," but not so much to dive out of an initiation challenge, round of pub golf or dirty pint on a uni night out.

I dunno. I'm so tired and I know that this probably makes no sense but I'm just sick of people assuming that

a) Alcohol is moral and harmless but drugs are evil and people who take them should be stigmatised
b) People who use drugs are desperate for everybody else to use them and will shun anybody who doesn't
c) Drugs are everywhere. No they're not. Start spending your time in Venue rather than Sankeys and you'll see far less drug use.

To blog, or not to blog?

2013-02-21T18:26:00.000-08:00

Okay, okay, so I'm attention seeking. I'm never going to not blog. I'd be doing a wasted degree if I didn't actually want to get somewhere with this writing thing. However, in the past few months, I've tended to say nothing personal, instead choosing to blog about things in the news, things that people are talking about, and things that annoy me. Now, while all that is undoubtedly making my blogging profile look nicer and more professional, it's a little annoying sometimes not being able to write about me in my own blog.

I always feel a little egotistical when I entertain the idea of writing about myself and about the things that happen to me. Why would anybody want to read about me? I think, and always end up writing about drugs or boobs or feminists instead. But then, I don't force this thing down people's throats. If you want to read my blog, read my blog. If you disagree with some of my opinions on the features that I write, wahey, we'll debate and it'll be fun, but if you don't like the actual content of my blog then you can simply hop off it as far as I'm concerned.

I've decided to write about whatever I want, and use this thing as a diary as well as somewhere to promote my writing, and I really couldn't give a rat's arse if nobody cares about what I have to say. I care about what I have to say. And really, unless you own The Guardian and want to snap me up and make me your little writing slut, your opinion doesn't matter to me.

Somebody once told me that the things that I was writing about weren't what they considered to be professional. They were probably referring to my posts about Nice Guys finishing last and the like. Honestly, I didn't care, and I still don't. If Jenna Marbles can become world famous from sitting at a computer and ranting about boys then I should be allowed to sit in bed and do it without the journalism police on my ass.

Okay, rant over and time for a brief update!

Like I said, I don't, as a rule, write about my personal life on here, but that's all going to change. (It's probably a fad. I'll probably air all my dirty laundry out for a while and then regret it and delete it). I'm happy at the minute. And really, if you can say you're happy at 2am when you're sat in bed wearing a monkey onesie, listening to Taylor Swift, eating marshmallows and coughing your guts up, you're doing pretty well. I got all my marks back from my first semester: 64, 67, 71, 75, 81, 82 (that's an overall FIRST for those dimwits out there, boom) and everything else is just as good as it has been since starting my second year and meeting all the lovely new people that I've met (and remaining just as close with the old favourites).

I feel so secure with my friends. I've got, I'd say, around four close girl friends that I meet up with as often as I can (Heather, Becky, Bella and Paige, this means you!) and we act as each other's therapists, mothers, partners in crime and sisters. I then have my boyfriend, and I know that it's a cliché to say this, but he's one of my close friends as well. We're so stupid together (I swear if anybody could see us alone together they'd think we were insane, 20 year olds are not supposed to enjoy wrestling and tickling and pulling faces as much as we do), and we can sit up all night chatting shit. I can tell him if I'm worried about something ridiculously small and insignificant (I'm the biggest worrier ever, the aftermath of having an anxiety disorder for most of my teenage years, womp), and he won't think I'm being stupid. And the best bit is that we can go out and (I hate to use this word) party together. I've never been able to go to parties or clubs with any of my ex boyfriends because they were never really into that sort of thing, so it's great having somebody that enjoys it as much as I do. I've then got all my other new mates (three of which I'm living with from July, eee!) who I can sit around playing Mortal Kombat with, or watch the rugby with, or play endless games of Ring of Fire with...you get the gist.

I'm also enjoying uni a lot more now. I'm doing three modules: Writing Novels for Young People, Creative Non-Fiction and Cinema and Psychoanalysis. I love them all, and I'm especially throwing myself into the Psychoanalysis one. I've always been interested in Freud, and at the minute I'm devouring his essays and pretty much anything I can find about him (I've started to read A Dangerous Method but it's pretty heavy going!) and driving all of my friends insane with my constant "fun facts" about humour, and slips of the tongue, and fantasies, haha. Plus, I'm not having to read nearly as much as I was last semester. I think until Christmas we averaged on two novels a week, which is a lot by anybodies standards! But now I can relax a little because it's more creative-writing orientated.

My last bit of good news is that we've secured a house for next year :)! We're get to sign contracts but the deposits are all paid and we're all very excited. I'm dying for a nice house, one with wooden floors and gold curtains and incense and weird books everywhere because me and Josh are hippies. I can't wait until we can move in!

I've always wanted to travel after I finish my studies. It's my dream. But as for right now, I'm totally happy where I am. I love the unpredictability of student life. It's like nothing I've ever experienced. It's not about the freedom, per se (I was allowed to do pretty much anything I wanted when I lived with my parents), but the easiness of it all. Being a minute away from some of my good friends. Three minutes away from my boyfriend. Being able to go on mid-week nights out because I'm not in uni until late morning or early afternoon. I love it all. I love being able to send a quick text at 7pm one night, and the next thing I know I'm sat in a room full of people getting intoxicated.

As for now, it's 2.23 and I really should be getting some sleep. With any luck, I'm going for a pub lunch with Bella tomorrow so I need to be awake and straightening my hair at some ungodly hour (about 12 noon).

Night :)

Stuff

2013-02-21T12:27:00.001-08:00

Movies

Flight. This is a film that my boyfriend and I went to see for Valentine's, and despite how different our taste in films usually is, we both loved this, as did my boss, who is a middle-aged Jewish dentist. I think it has to be said that this is a film for everyone! It is the story of an alcoholic pilot, and if it doesn't tug at your heartstrings then you really are made of stone.

American Psycho. This is a film that I watched years ago and didn't really rate, and then watched again recently and loved. It balances gore with wit, intelligence with obsession, sex with death. It really is amazing, and one to watch if you're interested in unreliable protagonists.

Ratatouille. I usually don't like animated films but this one had me laughing from beginning to end. Who'd have thought a snobby English student would like a film about a talking rat trying to cook?

Books

The Bell Jar. Part fiction, part autobiography, this tells of one writer's descent into depression. Even though it was written in the 1960's, this book still resonates. Next on my list are Plath's journals.

The End of Mr Y. A book about God, physics, coffee, cigarettes, potions, sex and cursed books, this is amazing. It is nothing like anything you have read before, and nothing like anything you will read again. If I had to compare it to anything, it would be a cross between The Secret and The Matrix.

Brave New World because it's one of those books that makes predictions about the future that we can already see coming true. Written in the 30's, the prophecies in this book are startlingly accurate.

The Handmaid's Tale. I've never considered myself particularly interested in gender politics, but Atwood's gruesome dystopia brings home just how women have been oppressed in days gone by. Seeming like science fiction, this book actually describes nothing that has not taken place in the world we live in today.

The Lollipop Shoes. Joanne Harris is one of my favourite authors, and this sequel to Chocolat is her best work by far. The characterisation is beautiful, and the descriptions so vivid. If you like chocolate, magic and fairy tales, this is one for you.

Response to The LASS Bible

2013-01-25T08:50:00.003-08:00

Thy Commandments;

1) Thou shall live by the commandments written in this bible.

...we'll see.

2) Thou shall do thou best to act like a LADY.

I can tell already that this is going to be a prime example of girls doing themselves no favours.

3) Thou shall refer to one’s private area as her 'VJJ' ‘Muffin’, ‘Vertical Sandwich’ or ‘Coochie’.

Vertical Sandwich?! I prefer badly wrapped kebab myself. Or axe wound.

4) Thou shall call thy boyfriend thy ‘BOF’

The BOF? What? No.

5) Thou must never nature wee.

If you mean pee outside then come on, every body has to do it sometimes.

6) Thou shall guard one's make-up with her life.

Er, why?

7) Thou shall appreciate one’s womanly assets as a blessing from the Lord.

Ok.

8) If thou does not like wine, thou shall pretend to like it anyway, one shall never drink Beer.

This is ridiculous. Girls that drink beer are cool.

9) Thou shall always wear a smaller bra than ones actual size to emphasise one’s womanly curves.

I think there is some truth in this because bras in my size always make my boobs look rubbish.

10) Thou must remember that without our eggs, man would not be hatched; therefore we are superior to man.

...?

11) Thou shall fake ones pleasure in order to boost a males esteem.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Not ever. No. If he doesn't know where he's going wrong, how is he ever going to improve? Plus, if the guy in question is your boyfriend then you're essentially lying to him, which is wrong. He'd be gutted if he knew. Bitches.

12) Thou shall strategise relationships.

I'm not sure what this means but it sounds quite manipulative and not nice.

13) Thou shall always use the best products for thy hair including those down below.

Er, I guess but only if you have the money. Alcohol money > hair product money.

14) Thou must avoid the drip/dry method.

What is this?

15) Thou shall not stuff thou bra with tissue paper or socks; thou shall merely wear a small bra to deceive thy BOF.

Why would you deceive your boyfriend? He's going to see how small they are when you get naked anyway, and besides, some boys prefer small boobs.

16) Thou shall treat thy BOF every now and then with a Vajazzle.

No this is ridiculous. Treat him with some sexy outfits or something but not a diamonte vagina.

17) Thou shall never go where another companion has been

Oh rubbish.

18) Thou shall not fall asleep during intercourse, even if one’s BOF is poor in bed.

Yeah cause then he's technically raping you and you wouldn't want to be going out with some weirdo that fucks sleeping people.

19) She who has a mono brow is a let down.

Yes.

20) Thou shall strictly follow the rule, ‘chicks before d*cks’

It depends who the dick is. If he's the guy you're gonna end up marrying then screw the girl you occasionally get pissed with.

21) Thou shall alert all fellow women if she doth know a sex pest.

Hahahahaha or just let her find out for herself.

22) Thou shall never bulk up in the gym but merely tone.

Why?

23) Thou shall trim regularly.

Trim? No. Shave/wax/hair removal cream.

24) Thou shall never itch ones rectum in public.

Hahahahahaha no you should.

25) Thou shall never admit to releasing wind.

Ok.

26) Thou shall never be happy with one’s shoe collection.

God this is so boring. Shoes and bags are boring. Collect something fun instead.

27) Thou shall cook for thy BOF if he brings home enough bread.

Yeah cooking for someone is nice.

28) Thou shall know every word of Dirty Dancing.

No it's shit.

29) Thou shall remember …. ‘Fridge pickers wear bigger knickers’.

And? Stop being sexist on yourselves. Pick the fridge all you want.

30) Thou shall not lie, but merely white lie.

No, lie if you want to. Everybody lies.

31) Thou shall ALWAYS never be seen with a boy that drinks Alcopops.

Yeah it's a bit embarrassing.

32) Thou shall never accept ‘COD’ in a conversation unless one’s BOF is going down to the chippy.

Mm. Maybe.

33) Thou shall never allow ‘playing Fifa’ as a valid excuse for not answering the phone.

If your boyfriend ignores you for Fifa then he doesn't deserve to be your boyfriend.

34) Thou shall not cheat, but more importantly, thou shall be lethal when been cheated on.

Yeah, chop his willy off.

35) Thou shall worship the creation of tampons, apparently Eve was given a pack when she was created.

Yes.

36) When asked, 'does my bum look big in this?' Thou shall tell thy fellow gf the truth.

Yeah but like...bigger bums are better.

37) Thou shall always cross thy legs to avoid exposure.

Unless you're me and live in harem pants.

38) Thou shall multi task.

I CAN'T DO THIS.

39) Thou shall NEVER be called a wench.

Yeah, "LADs" that do this need to fuck off and grow up.

40) Thou shall never break the unwritten rule of messing with a another womans ex BOF.

If it's your best friend then don't do it but if it's someone you don't really see yourself being friends with long-term anyway then why does it matter? Sorry but I hate this bullshit concept of sisterhood when it's about people you barely know.

41) Thou shall always make thy LAD want more.

Hmmmmm okay but this sounds a lot like game playing which I'm not into.

42) Thou shall always back up a fellow woman.

Or anyone who is in the right.

43) Thou shall remember leopards never change their spots. If he cheats he will never change.

Yeah, don't put up with stuff like that.

44) Thou shall be able to drop a tissue on your leg and it glide down … silky smooth.

Ok.

45) Thou shall avoid making sandwiches for men unless an edition of Cosmo is at the ready or you want some peace.

This is rubbish, making sandwiches is a nice thing to do (unless your man is an arsehole that reads the LAD bible and thinks it's his right to have sandwiches made for him).

46) Thou should eat a Yorkie bar.

But I thought fridge pickers wore big knickers?

47) Thou shall NEVER show weakness.

Why? This is just a version of "male pride" which is bullshit.

48) Thou shall marry a financially secure male.

ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS? What is this LASS bible anyway? Is it about female empowerment or is it about being thin, marrying a rich man and staying in the kitchen? Get rich yourself and marry a man that you love.

49) On a night out thou shall go to the toilet in no less that two.

This is ridiculous, I always go for wees on my own.

50) Thou shall forgive but never forget…. If a LAD won’t buy you something remind him what he did.

I hate this idea. Why should he buy you anything? And who are you to emotionally blackmail him if he doesn't?

51) Thou shall do what you want when you want.

Unless it's a cunt-ish thing that a cunt would do.

52) Thou shall always be on time.

Yes, there is nothing worse than people who are always late. If you are going to be late then text in advance and apologise. Manners cost nothing.

53) Thou shall be spoilt during times of PMS.

No, this is the reason girls have such a bad rep. We can't do this and then get offended when lads joke about it being our "time of the month".

54) Thou shall NOT take any kitchen insults seriously as most men do not hold enough 'sausage' to even fill a sandwich.

Don't take them seriously unless they're meant seriously.

55) Thou shall be independent. She who needs has to feed.

But I thought we had to marry a rich man who could bring home the bread? Make your mind up LASSes.

56) Thou shall remain classy.

Meh, classy is overrated.

57) Thou shall remember that without a woman a LAD has no option but to swing the other way.

This is stupid.

58) Thou shall be proud of their kitchen skills and remember it is better than being a bin man.

Again, I don't get it. Is The LASS Bible telling us to stay at home making sandwiches or is it telling us to be independent fierce women who don't need no men?

59) Thou should ALWAYS get thy own way...if at first one does not succeed, one should stamp their feet and scream loudly as a means to an end.

Yeah getting your own way is good. I'll take that.

60) Thou shall show thy best assets subtly.

Or not subtly. Whatever.

61) Thou shall act innocent be nice when you want something and then go back to normal when one has what they desire.

Hmmmmmmm.

62) Thou shalt always remain loyal to thy rabbit.

Remain loyal? As in, don't have sex with anybody who isn't battery operated?

63) If thou shall accidentally run into an Ex... Thou shall pretend to be on thy phone.

This is something a weird psycho loser would do. If you ended on good terms, say hi, if not don't. Don't pretend that you have friends when you don't.

64) Thou shall use the excuse of the menstrual cycle to avoid sex with a lad without offending.

No, who cares if some beast in a club gets offended. Offend away.

65) Thou shall dance like beyonce when on a night out with the girls.

Er no, this is really embarrassing.

66) Thou shall remember kitten heels don’t look good.

Everybody seems to hate kitten heels but nobody even wears them so I don't see a point in hating on something that basically doesn't exist.

67) Thou shall play hard to get.

JUST DON'T PLAY GAMES. WE'RE NOT 14.

68) Thou shall rub a fellow womans back when chundering.

Yeah this is nice.

69) Thou shall always be there for a fellow woman.

We've had one very similar to this. Be there for anyone you care about, man or woman.

70) If thy heart of thou friend has been broken by a man, thou shall come bearing films, chocolate, popcorn and any other edibles to help thy friend recover in order for suitable revenge to be plotted.

Meh, if it wasn't so cliche and Bridget Jones then this may be nice. Go and get her drunk instead.

71) Thou shall always use 'no sex for you' as a threat to thy LAD.

Hahaha nobody ever actually carries that through though so it loses meaning.

72) Thou shall remember I am better than your ex and I will be better than your next.

This rule cannot possibly apply to every girl. Think about it.

73) Thou shall ask thy LAD, 'Could you bleed for a week and not die?'

Uhh.

74) Thou shall always remind thy LAD that thy heels in thy wardrobe are bigger than his manhood. So if he doesn’t want to end up in there shutup.

Haha mine aren't, I live in flats because I'm not a real woman apparently.

75) Thou shall never pity a LAD.

Aww, why? Boys get sad too.

76) Thou shall shop till thy drop.

No, shop until you're spent up and not too tired to go and get drunk.

77) Thou shall remember that women were given child bearing hips for a reason, because men are soft.

Men were given brute strength because women are soft.

78) Thou shall only take advice from one man; Gok Wan.

NO BECAUSE HE TELLS UGLY FAT PEOPLE THAT THEY LOOK GOOD NAKED WHEN THEY DON'T AND THEN EVERYBODY HAS TO GO THROUGH THE ORDEAL OF SEEING THEM NAKED.

79) Thou shall always divide by three when a LAD tells you how many he has slept with.

Depends on the guy. I don't think all guys do this.

80) Thou shall throw tantrums before going out if one can not find the correct outfit.

This is gay.

81) Thou shall not let thy BOF drive as women are clearly better drivers.

They actually are. But I think it's really hot that my boyfriend can drive hahaha.

82) Thou shall laugh at any man who wears fake tan or makeup. Joey Essex is no man.

True, both of the above are not attractive but leave Joey Essex alone, he's lovely.

84) Thou shall recognise the resemblance between thy LAD and thine toilet; they are either full of sh*t or engaged/taken.

Yeeah I guess. Or they're chubby virgins that you left in the friendzone.

85) Thou shall accept man went on the moon first, they should now stay up there.

Bla.

86) Thou shall remember that thy nation is ruled by a woman.

Er, what?

87) Thou shall ask the question .. Who run the world ? GIRLS.

No.

88) If thy BOF is found to be cheating, he has lost the best thing he ever had … you.

Or maybe you weren't that great.

89) Thou shall eat sandwiches you make in front of him when he is hungry. For his poor excuse for sandwiches will never be as good.

Sorry but my boyfriend makes the best sandwiches in the world so I simply can't agree with this.

90) Thou shall remove the fuse out of the plug on the Xbox/PS3, so thy LAD will think that it is broke.

Don't be mean.

91) Thou shall party hard.

Yeeeah woooo yolo go hard or go home party party party #rockandroll

92) When receiving thy GCSE’s thou shall have more GCSE’s that notches on thy bed.

Yeah because if you had slept with ten people before the age of 16 you'd probably be on Jeremy Kyle.

93) Thou shall grow thy fingernails and get them done once a week.

Nah.

94) Thou shall pamper thyself on a reg.

Effort.

95) Thou shall never sell thyself.

Why? fuck off, those women make more money in an hour than whoever the author of this lass bible does in a week. Nothing wrong with prostitution, sorry but there isn't. It's a career, same as any other.

96) Thou shall have thy LAD under the thumb.

Aha.

97) Thou shall show her boyfriend an equal amount of love as to what he hath shown her.

Hm, but then nobody would get anywhere because nobody would be making any effort with each other and they'd all be ignoring each other to get high and play Fifa.

98) Thou shall accept that men wear the trousers, but we choose which ones.

The man is the head of the family but the woman is the neck, and the neck controls every movement the head makes.

99) Thou shall always name thy child, as a man will want a stupid name.

Yeah they will.

100) Thou shall remember The SLAG Bible has an ironic name.

Are legal highs really that bad?

2013-01-21T19:23:00.002-08:00

A cross-party peer group has come to the recent conclusion that the possession and consumption of all illegal drugs should be decriminalised, with the least harmful, or currently "legal highs" being regulated and sold in shops with labels detailing risks, similar to that of a cigarette packet. They say that the illegality of drugs fails to help drug users, and instead marginalises them, rendering them victims of social stigma and disgust. Now, while I agree that people who use drugs, recreationally or otherwise, should not be stigmatised, I simply cannot bring myself to accept this as a valid argument for the marketing of legal highs such as Benzo Fury (a stimulant similar to ecstasy) or synthetic cannabinoids.

Baroness Meacher, chairwoman of The All-Party Parliamentary Group on Drug Policy Reform (APPG), said "There are drugs a great deal safer than alcohol and tobacco," citing this as one of the reasons for the proposal. This, I feel, is at best a misinformed argument and at worst an immoral one. While she avoids hypocrisy (don't you just hate those people who preach about drugs with a cigarette in one hand and a beer bottle in the other?), her logic of "Let's add more poisons to society" fails to win me over. Sure, alcohol is dangerous, and sure, it's a damn sight more dangerous than a lot of the so-called "party drugs" such as MDMA, but is this a big enough reason to legalise such drugs? If we're being totally honest with ourselves, we should really be talking about banning alcohol and cigarettes. Nobody would like it, myself included, but it makes more sense than "Oh legalise everything, we may as well!"

It would be nice if all drugs were regulated and you could be sure of exactly what you were buying (two men died in Wigan last week and others were hospitalised as a result of a bad batch of ecstasy). Of course it would. Nobody wants to be that girl that takes a dodgy pill and ends up dying on the spot. But, and I'm probably not going to win any fans in saying this, the health hazards are a risk you take when it comes to drugs, and if anything, they can actively put people off trying something that they otherwise would have no qualms about. Just think how many more teenagers would be experimenting with pills if they were sure that what they were taking was "government approved" and therefore safer somehow. We see an example of this in the popular film "Limitless", when protagonist Eddie takes a dangerous pill after being assured that it was FDA approved, something he would never done had he known that it was, in fact, illegal. Ecstasy and mephedrone would be as popular as alcopops, and I for one would rather my fifteen year old daughter was experimenting with a sneaky WKD or two than chewing her gums apart and going for five days without sleep after taking something that the corner shop was selling at a far more affordable rate than alcohol.

Now I'm not saying drugs are bad. I honestly do not have a problem with drugs (well, unless you count the nightmares I had after seeing the Faces of Meth), but I would just much rather they remain illegal. Let's be honest, criminalising these legal highs will not make them particularly difficult to get hold of. If you want to experiment with drugs, you'll be able to experiment with drugs. Trust me, if you're that desperate, you'll be able to find them, and consume them at your own leisure. This begs the question, why bother legalising drugs? All that it will do is make them more socially acceptable, and we have to ask ourselves whether this is something that we really want when we take into consideration just how much our teens are binging on substances which were practically unheard of ten years ago.

What's more, not much is known about the long-term affects of legal highs. The only thing that can really be observed is the short term effects of such drugs, which are usually no more severe than a few nosebleeds or panic attacks, risks that don't seem so great to the open-minded teen. Before we start selling these products in our supermarkets, why don't we wait a few years and see just how dangerous they are? Perhaps then we'll be able to make a more responsible decision. It's no use labelling a drug as "legal" or "Class C" when we know next to nothing about it. Why don't we instead assume the worst and label all new and legal highs as Class A, just to scare people off a little while scientists research the facts? Ensuring their legality only results in simple-minded people assuming that what they're taking is totally harmless.

In addition to this, the marketing of legal highs will only make drugs more accessible to children. Think about when you were growing up. I bet you were told that drugs were bad for you and that you were forbidden from ever trying them. Now, while I'm sure that a lot of you did end up trying drugs, just think about how much more of you would have done, had you been told that they were just as acceptable as alcohol and cigarettes. Hell, instead of people experimenting with underage alcohol before moving onto more illicit substances, we'd have twelve year olds snorting coke on the playground. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but proposals like the one I am discussing are the kind of ideas that are merely a stepping stone to further problems in society.

Just take a look at Amsterdam. Seen by many as the absolute Mecca of liberty and free love, Amsterdam is not the relaxed and liberal place it first appears. Did you know that in hash cafes you can buy heroin and crack cocaine under the counter? That in pornography shops you can buy snuff or newborn porn? Sure, these things are not staring you in the face from the shelves, but you only have to know what to ask for and it will suddenly all become available to you. Oh, and the prostitutes? Trafficked. These are not liberated feminists doing as they please with their bodies. They are women who have been lured into the country by pimps posing as "lover boys", who force them into the trade as a way to earn money for themselves (Read more here). Sarah Forsyth says in her autobiography, "Slave Girl", that 70-90% of women in the famous Red Light District are victims of sex trafficking, owned by pimps and forced to sell themselves. Legalising one illicit thing merely opens the gateway to others. It doesn't reduce crime. Let's face it, there will always be gangsters about. Legalising one thing merely shifts the focus to something else. The gangsters will find a new niche in the market and boom, before you know it there's a new epidemic of something and what were previously Class A drugs are now seen as child's play.

Ultimately, even if the risk at taking a substance is almost zero, I see no reason to legalise it. The government should be more concerned with the safety of it's people than any profit they stand to make (which is ultimately what this is all about - the government getting rich off our backs), and if that means that we can have less fun at the weekend then that's the way it should be. Don't get me wrong, as a 20 year old student I'd think life would be brilliant if drugs were legal and Monday mornings were instead criminalised. However, unlike the majority of people in on this debate, who simply want an easier life, I just can't be in favour of the government legalising something that will increase crime, put children at risk, and open a whole can of powdery worms.

For further reading on the legalisation of drugs, check out my post on cannabis, which you can find here). Hope you enjoyed reading!

How much money would it take for you to wear fur?

2013-01-10T14:01:00.002-08:00

Kettlemag emailed me this question, along with a long list of others yesterday, and it really got me thinking.

I'm sure that most people's answer to this question is something along the lines of "I'd NEVER wear fur. It's cruelty to animals, and I love animals. People who wear fur are evil." To be honest, if I don't really consider the implications of saying something like this, it's the first thing that springs to my mind as well. I have never owned anything made of fur, and I've done enough research to know just how cruel the process of making a fur coat is. (Did you know it takes up to 70 minks to make a fur coat?)

However, seeing this question posed to me in a way that forced me to really consider my opinion on the matter, I was forced to conclude that I, along with everybody else who says this, am hypocritical. How many of us eat meat? How many of us own a leather jacket and wear leather shoes? How many of us really check whether or not our make up is tested on animals? Are we prepared to pay more for our mascara just because it is ethically tested, or are we, as broke students, willing to sacrifice the eyes of a rabbit just so that our own lashes look the part? I guess that's what it comes down to. In addition to this, how much research are we willing to do to ensure our products are cruelty free? Some information that the BUAV sent me a few years ago confirmed that many of the shops that claim that they do not test their products on animals are lying by omission. When they say that they do not test on animals, they conveniently leave out the part where they commission other people to do so instead. Can we really be bothered looking into something that much when all we want is a quick fix before our next night out?

And if we can't, if we must admit that we do eat meat, wear leather and use make up that has been dripped into rabbit's eyes as part of a toxicity test, are we still at liberty to judge those who choose to wear fur? There is no disputing that the wearing of fur is an unnecessary cruelty that the animal kingdom would be better off without, but I can't bring myself to preach about the immorality of it when I've just polished off a chicken and bacon sandwich. We cannot afford to cherry-pick what we are comfortable with inflicting on animals and what we are not. We are either opposed to animal cruelty, or we are not. That is all that can be said.

The rise of the SSBBW.

2013-01-10T11:45:00.001-08:00

Yossi Loloi. Sound familiar? Thought not. Pretty soon though, this photographer will be a hot topic as people discuss his latest series of images, an art project called FullBeauty that features a series of naked women, all weighing in excess of 30 stone, in various provocative positions.

Despite the obvious controversy of these images, Loloi denies that they are for shock value, insisting that they are supposed to convince viewers that "beauty isn't owned by skinny people alone" and describes his project as a "form of protest against discrimination". Now that all sounds very nice, and at first, the naive part of me thought that it was nice, kind of empowering to women who don't adhere to the norms of what is deemed attractive by society. However, having viewed the images, I was forced to reconsider.

First, the assertion that beauty is not restricted to skinny supermodels is based on the assumption that everybody in society thinks that it is, which is something that is simply not true. I can't even count the number of times I've heard people complaining about rail-thin runway models and how "real men like curves because only dogs go for bones". You only have to look at the cover of a lads mag to see curvaceous, healthy women gracing the covers, and the campaigns against size zero models have been widely publicised in the media for years. Loloi is mistaken in thinking that society only views anorexic models as attractive, and these images are almost a step back for society. They are more likely to encourage weight loss than anything! Sure, taking a stance against size zero models can only be deemed a positive thing, but why does the alternative ideal have to be such an extreme? Why could Loloi not have used healthier models of an average size in the way that the Dove advertisements do?

I also must disagree with Loloi's point that this campaign is one against discrimination. I believe that, plastered over the internet in all their glory, these women will acquire more of a victim status than anything close to empowerment. I dread to think how many internet trolls have taken to commenting on such pictures with insults and name-calling. Loloi is setting these poor women up for ridicule, reeling them in with a pretentious line about the photographs creating "a sense of liberation and serenity", probably knowing full well the abuse that his subjects would be, er, subjected to. It is a strong statement to make, but I honestly feel as if Loloi is exploiting these women for shock value in order to gain popularity. I certainly hadn't heard of him before. Had you?

What's more, he surely can't be of the impression that the general public is going to find these kind of images attractive. By forcing these women to strip naked and pose in provocative ways, Loloi is sexualising them, and for what end? Being attracted to SSBBW (super-sized, big beautiful women) is a fetish, just in the same way that being attracted to feet is a fetish. There are websites that cater specifically for men of this persuasion. Websites that you actually have to go looking for. This campaign is not aimed at people who will appreciate SSBBW's. It is aimed at the general public, the masses who, quite rightly, find this sort of thing grotesque, and I fail to believe that Loloi isn't aware of this.

Another way in which Loloi is being irresponsible is in his saying that people should overlook "the health issue" when viewing his images. Surely the health of these women is more important than anything Loloi has to gain from his project? Imagine the uproar if one of the big fashion houses sent out a 5-stone model, before telling the press to "overlook the health issue". What human being, on viewing these photographs, is going to be able to overlook the fact that these women are dangerously unwell and at risk of developing a whole range of ailments? Rather than swanning around in the nude having their egos stroked and being photographed, these women should be seeking help for something that is clearly going to become a major issue to them, if it isn't already.

I know that some will say "well if they're happy in their own skin then that's all that matters", but even this I can't agree with! How can women like this be happy in their own skin? Being this big surely has a detrimental affect on one's life. How happy are these women, knowing that they will probably not live to see their children graduate, that by age 40 they will probably have the health of an 80 year old, that they can never go for walks or go on ski holidays, can never go to nightclubs and dance with their friends, that they can't really do anything aside from sitting in front of the television and eating?

This campaign is nothing but exploitation in the name of art. Loloi and all of his hip photography friends are taking advantage of unhealthy women in order to climb a few rungs on the ladder of success. If promoting obesity and exposing unhealthy women to an endless tirade of internet abuse is what you have to do to become successful these days, I think I'll give success a miss.

2013

2013-01-01T17:50:00.002-08:00

So I think every blogger in the world is doing a post similar to this today! This past year has been absolutely mental, and I have ended it on such a high, meeting Lauri Ylonen, somebody I've been waiting to meet for almost 15 years, seeing my all time favourite band live, going on a holiday with my uni society and some of my best friends, having the entire family round for Christmas, getting amazing grades in my uni assignments and seeing in the new year with a drink in my hand and a gorgeous boy on my arm! Let's be honest, I couldn't really have asked for more, could I?

That's really what this blog is going to be about. Positivity and, more importantly, gratitude. For the past couple of years, I've classed myself as a Christian, but I've also been reading a lot into The Secret, a way of thinking proposed by Rhonda Byrne that advocates counting your blessings and being grateful for what life has given you.

Really, we don't count our blessings nearly enough, and it's quite sickening. We all have that friend that seems to put a negative spin on everything, the person that, no matter how many gifts life throws at them, will always find something negative to complain about. It might be breaking a fingernail at a party being held in their honour, or that the person giving them a free ride is five minutes late. Whatever it is, no matter how good the surrounding circumstances, you can bet your bottom dollar this person will fail to see or appreciate just how blessed they really are. Well really, I'm done with those people. Please, if you are one of them, don't complain to me about how outdated your £600 phone that daddy paid for is, or whatever other "problems" you're dealing with. Instead, look on the bright side for a change. Think about the things that you do have, rather than the things that you don't.

I can't tell you how blessed I feel to have the things I do. To have a huge bedroom with more books than I could ever read, a blog that people actually enjoy, assignments that get consistently high grades, a website that publishes articles I write, and the hundreds of other things that I could list! Honestly, I am grateful for so much in my life and I really think that the world would be a much better place if everyone valued and appreciated things as much as they should do. I'm grateful for the bigger things, such as the close relationship I have with my mum, my best friend Heather who's been there since I was 12, my other close friends, the new people that I've met this year, both in SUST and the ones that live locally to me and the fact that I'm with somebody who doesn't get kicks out of putting me down and inventing stories such as "Doctors have told me I'm going to have a heart attack in my sleep" and "I'll kill myself if you don't text me back" (no exaggeration).

I'm also grateful for the smaller things, and no matter how big your problems, everybody can be thankful for the little things. My hair, for one, I'm so glad to be on my way to being a blonde again! I'm grateful that every year I can get what is essentially a free holiday at a family home in Spain as oppose to having to scour out cheap boozy holidays. I'm grateful that I've finally got curtains in my room, and ones that actually look nice! I'm grateful for the fact that I have a kettle in my room so a cup of black coffee is never far away, that I live with one of my best friends, that I got enough perfume and fancy underwear this Christmas to turn me into a burlesque model, I'm grateful for my pet cat! I'm grateful that I got to go on holiday with my friends just before Christmas, and I'm grateful that I finally managed to get about two hours sleep on the 24 hour coach journey back to Salford!

I'm grateful for the last 12 months of my life. It's been pretty dramatic at times, sitting in police stations, casually skipping seminars to go zooming around in police cars because we thought someone we knew was actually going to throw themselves under a train track (it was a lie so it was fine) and so much more that you would not even believe if I told you, but despite all of that I'd still say it was the best 12 months of my life. I've never had so many friends, in so many different friendship groups, as I do now, never had as many nights out and never enjoyed the stuff I study more than I do now.

Most of all, I'm grateful for that energy, that thing that some people will call God and others will call Fate, others Karma, others will call it The Universe and some won't have a name for it because they believe in it without ever really admitting it to themselves. Whatever you want to name it, I'm grateful for it, and I'm going to continue to be grateful for that, and all the other amazing things that are going to come my way in the year 2013.

Have a fantastic year everyone! xx

Stop hating on Justin Bieber

2012-12-30T20:00:00.001-08:00

So here's to dispelling all the things that people say to discredit him, namely that he's a little boy with no talent who was probably born into fame and doesn't write any of his own music.

If I'm being honest I can't really be arsed writing this right now because it's nearly 4 in the morning and I've been drinking on my own because I'm a lot like Bridget Jones these days but I know that if I don't do this now then I never will so here goes, hopefully it will shut you all up.

This is mainly directed at all you boys with your guitars and your rock bands that like to harp on about how boys like Justin Bieber are "ruining music." Well, no they're not. The worst part is that the majority of you have no idea what you're talking about when you rip into artists (yes, I used that word) like Justin Bieber and that is what really annoys me. Despite how much success he's had, unless you're a 14 year old girl, Justin Bieber is pretty much considered a laughing stock and it isn't fair because he really doesn't live up to the picture that people are painting him as. I'm hoping that by merely telling you a little bit about Mr Bieber, I can silence a lot of you. It's easy enough to find out all of this stuff on Wikipedia but the majority of people these days would rather form an opinion about someone before they make the time to read up on them so I did my research on him for you.

Okay.

So Justin Bieber taught himself to play the piano, drums, guitar and trumpet. Now how many of you aspiring musicians can do all of that? How many of the people that sit and wax lyrical about how talentless this boy is can even play two of the above instruments? No, I thought not. Not many people in this world can honestly say that they can play four instruments and I for one think that anybody that can deserves some recognition. Let's not forget that the guy is only 18 years old. I'm 20 and I can't even play one instrument! In fact, nothing that I can do equals this, and I'm not trying to be modest here. I've always got straight A's, my blog gets hundreds of views a day and my writing has been published online, but that doesn't even come close to being able to play four instruments! Hell, if I have the right to be proud of my small time achievements then Justin Bieber has the right to be bloody proud of himself for this.

Also, contrary to popular belief, he was not just born into fame and fortune. He was actually born to a seventeen year old single mother, and made a name for himself entering competitions and playing small venues around his town which were uploaded onto YouTube, the site that eventually led to his being discovered. It didn't take long for a marketing executive to find him and the guy liked what he saw so much that he tracked Bieber down and made him a star. How many of you can say that at age thirteen and fourteen your life was devoted to furthering your career, truthfully? Not many people have the drive to do this. Most of us were too busy worrying about making the knots on our ties the right size and whether the hottest boy in school would ever notice us.

Not only this but Bieber's debut album went platinum. He was fifteen years old. How is this not a fantastic achievement? It's all well and good to sit and compare him to bygone music "greats" but is it really fair to expect a fifteen year old boy to live up to some of the biggest music legends of all time? If he's still singing songs like "Baby" when he's thirty then I'll eat my words but for someone who is essentially a child co-writing and releasing decent pop songs I'd say some of them aren't half bad.

Because that's my next point. Bieber co-wrote 3 out of the 8 songs on his EP and all of the songs on his debut album. Again, we must remember that the guy was a child at the time. For a fifteen year old, to be co-writing your own songs, songs that the public like, is a big deal. There are plenty of older stars out there releasing songs that aren't half as well-written as the stuff that Bieber was churning out when he was practically still in nappies. I'm not saying he's as eloquent as Shakespeare but let's cut the guy some slack here. When you compare his words to that of Flo Rida, who says that "Shawty was hot like a toaster", suddenly stuff like "I just can't sleep tonight, knowing that things aren't right. It's in the papers, it's on the TV, it's everywhere that I go, children are crying, soldiers are dying, some people don't have a home" SEEMS A LOT BETTER.

He's also a Christian and advocates being thankful to God for your success and only sleeping with "people you love" which is surely a positive message to be sending out? Maybe I'm a prude but I'd rather my child look up to people like that rather than women who sing about BDSM and insist on having very public relationships with violent men. I actually think that Bieber's moral values are a really good thing. Little girls are more likely to take their values from a good looking pop star than some crusty old teacher at school so I think it can only be a good thing if Justin isn't singing about cars and bitches and getting carted off to rehab every five minutes. Sorry.

Oh, and something else? He's even charitable! Yup, despite being a big bad Christian, Bieber is in no way homophobic, and had actually contributed to the It Gets Better campaign which aims to prevent suicide within the LGBT community. He also helped the Children's Miracle Network hospitals by performing at benefit concerts and donating proceeds from his albums to them, as well as the Pencils of Promise charity which helps build schools in the developing world and train young leaders. On Valentine's Day 2011, Bieber surprised six year old fan and brain cancer sufferer Avalanna Routh by flying her to New York, where he spent the day playing board games and eating cupcakes with her. Now personally, I think that these acts of kindness are beautiful no matter who has carried them out, but considering again that he was only sixteen/seventeen when he did this stuff, who are we to fault him?

I honestly can't understand why, knowing the above information, anybody would criticise Justin Bieber. Sure, his music isn't everybody's thing but you don't have to listen to it. He's not doing anybody any harm. He's got to where he is today through faith and hard work, he keeps his fans happy and he donates to charity. Is he really so bad?

I guess if I was an average looking guy going nowhere in life I'd be jealous too.

Banning Page 3 - The feminists are at it again

2012-12-06T17:51:00.001-08:00

Apparently 15, 000 people have signed a petition asking for Page 3 to be banned on the grounds that it "conditions readers" to "view women as sex objects". I don't know who these 15, 000 people are but I wish they'd give it a rest. One minute they're taking part in SlutWalks, proclaiming that women should be able to leave the house in next to nothing without getting unwanted attention and the next they're saying that women should put their boobs away because it encourages unsavoury old men to think unspeakable thoughts about them. Which is it to be ladies? Do you want us covered up or not? Is it the men who should change their ways or the women?

It is an issue that is at best illogical and at worst ridiculous.

First of all, is it a fact that Page 3 women are being exploited and objectified? If you asked the women themselves (who I think should have a say in the matter, don't you?) I'm sure they'd tell you that they actually feel quite empowered, not only getting paid thousands to strip off but also getting their egos fed at the same time. While I'm sure that a lot of men do view women as sex objects, I can't see how banning Page 3 will make a difference! If a man has been brought up to view women in a certain way than he always will, no matter what the situation. Should we also ban mini-skirts, lipstick and attractive film stars? Strip clubs? Or should we just go the whole hog and blindfold men to ensure that they can never look lustfully at a woman? Of course not! It's ridiculous!

What's more even if women are being objectified, banning Page 3 is not even the tip of the iceberg. I know that the original argument was in reference to The Sun classing itself as a "family newspaper", rendering pictures of topless women as inappropriate, but I can't help but feel that this is just a thinly veiled excuse to attack the sex industry. In the United States alone, pornography is estimated to rake in between $10-$14 billion a year. If, in the bigger picture, we want women to stop being objectified, we're going to have to ban not only Page 3, but all top shelf magazines, websites, films etc. that show anything more than a bit of side boob. It's never going to happen! The short answer, I'm afraid, is if you don't like it, don't look at it. It absolutely disgusts me how people can watch the footage on an Oxfam advert without batting an eyelid but bust a gut at a couple of nipples in the newspaper. As long as the women themselves are doing the job voluntarily and enjoying it, who is anyone to say anything about it?

Of course, then there's the argument about the effect that stuff like this has on teenage girl's self-esteem. Mums are complaining that their daughters are developing eating disorders or getting pregnant while they're still at school because of the prevalence of things like Page 3, but surely it is a parental responsibility to control the things your little darling sees? And if you're going to harp on about Page 3 causing insecurity in teenage girls, you're going to have to start petitioning against Fifty Shades of Grey as well, not to mention Magic Mike! No girl can complain about their boyfriends' leering over Page 3 models when they're busy fantasising about Mr Grey and Mr Tatum every night of the week.

I don't really know what these petition-wielding loonies want. Perhaps the feminists who have such an issue with Page 3 and the like would prefer it if these women lost their jobs and had to rely on a man to provide for them like they would have done fifty years ago. Women literally can't win. If we don't work, we're oppressed and if we do work we're either career-driven monsters who neglect our children or exploited sluts who don't know any better, and the worst part of this is that it seems to be women attacking women this time! I may be being far too radical here but why don't we just let women CHOOSE what they want to do with their own bodies? Now isn't that a thought!

Am I asking to be raped?

2012-12-05T17:57:00.002-08:00

Now, you'll never usually see me writing about feminism. Trust me, I am not about to stop shaving and start burning my bras. I'm not afraid to say that I like men to be men and women to be women. If a light bulb blows, I will find a man. If there's a spider in the room, I go to a man. If I'm about to get beat up and a guy decides to step in and protect me, you won't find me screaming that I have the right to be beat up just because I have a vagina. By all means protect me!

I am physically weaker than most men. I have different hormones to men. My body is different to a man's. I have no reason to start getting up in people's grills (sorry but I had to pay a bit of homage to my favourite MIC playa there) about wanting men and women to be treated in exactly the same way. We are DIFFERENT. We both have strengths and weaknesses and it's ridiculous to say anything otherwise.

However there are some cases when it's less about being a feminist and more about being a normal human being, and I think that disagreeing with articles like the one I'm about to disagree with is just common sense. You can find it here: http://jaxchristian.com/christian-living/marriage-a-family/807-emotional-adultery-how-husbands-and-wives-disrespect-each-other- and it's probably best you read it before you continue with this because otherwise what I'm saying won't make any sense.

Now, before I say anything about the article, you'll notice that it is taken from a Christian website. I just want to say that although I class myself as a Christian, this is not what my faith is about and it sickens me to see something I believe in portrayed in such a disgusting way. But that's the church for you. Sadly, the majority of Christians believe whatever the church tells them, because if something is in the name of Jesus then it must be right, right? Wrong.

When I first started reading this article, I had high hopes. In a society saturated with sex, it makes a nice change to see somebody saying that if you are being mentally unfaithful to your partner then it isn't a good thing. I always feel like I sound like a prude when I say this but it's something I really agree with. It's one thing to notice somebody attractive but it's another thing to want to fuck somebody other than your partner and excuse me if I don't go around wishing I could whip my knickers off every time I see a good looking guy. Loyalty is something that isn't given enough credit in today's society.

It was only when I read further and saw that the article actually sees women as the cause of blame in this that I started to get angry. In case you ignored my advice and didn't read the article, the gist was this: if a man is married and a woman walks past him wearing a short skirt, it is the woman in the skirt that is to blame if he gets the wrong idea and starts "ogling, flirting, or touching" her. Apparently, the poor little mite is not to blame if he starts doing these things. It is the women's fault for tempting him.

The article asks "Should a married woman dress to please her husband or please her ago?" Honestly? She should dress to please herself. She should wear clothes that make her feel good, clothes that she likes. Any man that feels like a woman should dress for him needs to re-evaluate his attitude. A woman is not the property of a man*. If anything, a man should be proud to have a beautiful wife, not desperate to hide her away from the world. I may be just speaking for myself here but if a girl fancies a guy I'm with then I'm more likely to take it as a compliment than tell him to start putting a bag over his head so that people can't see how attractive he is.

The article then says that as a woman, if our partner tells us that our clothes are too revealing than we should think ourselves lucky for being with somebody that cares about us so much. I have an ex that held this view. He was of the opinion that I should no longer go out in public wearing skirts, dresses, or make up because I was with him now and if I defied him by getting a bit dressed up to go out then it meant that I was craving attention off men and was therefore a slut who didn't deserve him. I wasn't lucky to be with him. It is attitudes like this that can quickly lead to mental (and often physical) abuse in relationships and I'm pretty sure that this wasn't what Jesus meant when he advocated fidelity.

This is surely something written by a man, I hear you saying. Well no actually, it was written by a woman, who, on the topic of 'unwanted male attention' (which can be anything from a glance to rape, by the way), that 'we do it to ourselves'. Now it is this, this more than anything that makes me want to hunt her down and prevent her from ever being able to communicate with anyone ever again. I suppose that we ladies are 'asking for it' when we get dragged down a back alley and raped, are we, you perfect little Christian, you?

Believe it or not, as a woman, I can say, without hesitation that if I happen to wear a skirt in public, I do not do it to make random men want to have sex with me, grope me and shout lewd comments at me. I do it because I happen to like that particular skirt. It's as simple as that. Sure, I want to make the best of myself and look as nice as I can but that isn't just for men! Society dictates that, as women, we must look a certain way. Tell me, why is it that if I start wearing plain clothes and stop wearing make up, society will tell me that I am ugly and that I need to change myself, whereas if I do what the magazines say, if I buy the clothes that they tell me to and stick to the diet they want me to, I'm a slut who is asking to be raped? I can't win!

Unfortunately, this is an attitude that isn't just confined to fundamental Christians and gossip rags. A friend of mine was sexually assaulted last year and do you know what her therapist asked her? 'What were you wearing?' Really? Really?! As it happens, my friend had been wearing a tracksuit on the night in question so the therapist was left with nothing much to say but I'd have been interested to hear the response had my friend answered with 'Oh, a bodycon dress and high heels.' Would the therapy session have turned into more of a Life Guide on how to be less of an attention seeking slut? Hearing this made my blood boil but the saddest part is that victims of rape or sexual assault hear this daily. I'm sure I don't need to provide you with evidence for you to believe that rape victims are often discredited in court because they were drunk or 'dressed inappropriately'. This stuff happens. Traumatised women are left in bits while their attacker runs free, and all because they dared to wear a nice dress.

Besides, by insinuating that women only get unwanted attention because of the way they dress, this article is at best misleading and at worst just a blatant lie. A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, and if a guy has a flirtatious nature and a wandering eye then chances are he's going to notice her whether she's wearing a bin bag or a bikini. (Of course, it's still her own fault though. She probably looked at the guy in the wrong way, or was too friendly when she said hello.)

Of course, I know that there are some women who dress exclusively to please men. I'm not stupid. I know that if you go out wearing nothing but lingerie and start grinding with strangers then you are probably not all for female empowerment. However, even if you are 'asking for' a bit of attention, I highly doubt that any woman is asking to be sexually assaulted and 'Christians' would do well to remember that.

* Even in the biblical sense. Of course the bible says that women should keeps their husbands happy but it also says that husbands should do exactly the same for their wives and this is a fact that the church (and bigoted Christians) conveniently ignores.

Careers

2012-12-03T17:40:00.001-08:00

I just wanna say how much I like Charlie Brooker and his writing. Writing in this style can't be that bad or he wouldn't be famous, wadded and one of the top writers for The Guardian. Everyone asks me what I wanna really do when I'm older and whenever I say "journalist" people always assume I'm talking about being a news reporter or interviewing cheating footballers or something but no, this is what I wanna do. This is how I'm going to make money. And I'm not gonna lie, the article below was the one I pretty much copied when I wrote my list of "things that piss me off" or whatever I called it. But if I'm copying one of the biggest journalists of the 21st century I can't be going that wrong, right?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jan/08/charlie-brooker-new-year

Guest blogger - Josh Skarratts - Animals, humans and extinction

2012-11-18T16:31:00.000-08:00

So you like animals, don’t you. Of course you do, who doesn’t? I don’t know a person who dislikes animals. Animals are great, they can help you with companionship, provide hours of entertainment, serve practical uses and just sometimes be fun to look at. This being said, they should be allowed to say goodbye to the world and go extinct, shouldn’t they? Or should we save them like ‘WWF’ wants to? No, we should not save them and here’s why.

First on the list, Pandas. OMG I love Pandas, they look awesome, they are awesome and this. However, we need to let this creature runs its course, if you don’t know much about Pandas, here’s a crash course. This is a type of bear that lives specifically on bamboo, not a very good source of nutrients. These bamboo shoots only grow in a thin band on certain mountains, which means the Pandas live in this thin band on certain mountains. Now this isn’t such a bad thing, some entire species of troglodytes (cave dwelling animals) are reserved to two caves, why? Because this is the correct number for the species to survive. Then we wonder why there are so few of them. Oh yea, they suck at sex too, like, really suck. Suck so much that it makes me feel a whole lot better about myself.

Now, Tigers! Tigers are fucking scary! If you don’t believe me watch this. Now tell me you would be upset to see that go extinct. What’s that? You disagree? Well, let me give you a quick history lesson, in Britain there used to be a variety of predators ranging from bears to wolves. What happened to them? We killed them, killed them all so humans could take over. Do you feel bad? No, because now we can live without fear of being bitten to death (until we create zombies, fuck!). Now imagine you live in an area with Tigers… let that sink in. You live where Tigers live. Holy shit! What do you do?

Here’s a few options. Nothing, this is by far the worst option, I’m not even going to elaborate. Next, build some good defenses, something that a Tiger won’t be able to get past. Hmmm, tigers can do it all man, climb, swim, jump, nothing is stopping your Tiger. If it wants you its gon’ get you! Now another option is to get together a militia and kill those terrifying sons o’ bitches. But that’s not easy either, in the Sundarbans in India Tigers kill 50-250 people a year… What. The fuck! They know how to kill us a hell of a lot better than us killing them. There is one story of a Tiger killing three people in a boat of five! That’s five full grown men, rowing as fast as they can whilst a Tiger hunts them. It swam after them, killed one of them, dragged him to the banks, jumps back in, kills another guy and does this once more before he got bored. And if you think you're safe in a zoo with Tigers, think again. A few years ago some kids in San Francisco were throwing pine cones at the Tiger (Tigers hate pinecones), this tiger thought, ‘fuck you monkey!’, jumped out of his cage… jumped out, just fucking jumped out! And killed one of the kids in a café. Shit.

There have been five mass extinction events, this means this is five times where life on earth has almost completely been wiped out, the last one being the Dinosaurs 65 million years ago. But at Jeff Goldblum so eloquently put it in ‘Jurassic Park’, ‘life, finds a way’. It certainly does and humans are causing lots of animals to become in danger of going extinct, but is this necessarily a bad thing? Sure there is the guilt we feel for killing a living being, sure there is the guilt of cutting down an entire eco-system. But we’re forgetting something, humans are shit. Without our electricity and tools readily available, how do we survive? We don’t. We die. Once the humans are gone, these cities we live in will soon erode. Ever seen ‘I am legend’? Wouldn’t be much different.

Now, there seems to be a general unspoken agreement that humans aren’t animals and we are somehow disconnected from nature. This notion is ridiculous, ask anyone in America affected by Sandy how disconnected from nature they feel. Let me get this straight, we’re animals, no two ways about it and these cities we live in are bee hives. Albeit a lot more complicated, but natural. Cities are natural for humans otherwise there would only be a few, not thousands and one thing about cities is that we kill or ward off potential risks i.e. Tigers, wolves and bears. So this makes us part of nature, do we stop nature from running its course? No. So should we feel guilty about the things we do? No. We should just do them. Nature/life will carry on regardless.

I’m not saying go out and kill animals, god no. I’m not saying pollute everything, what I am saying is we need to stop thinking we have such a great effect on the planet, sure we’ve affected the climate and sure we’ve killed off a few species, but the planet and life is fine. WE are fucked! The only reason we care about this stuff is because it’s nice to look at and we depend on the system working. If the eco-systems fail, we fail and then we go extinct. Is another species going to save us? Nope, so why should we help other species? Because we can? Because it’s a nice thing to do. Sure, both good answers, but shouldn’t we respect nature and let it takes its course? Well over 95% of all life that has ever lived is extinct, it’s the natural order, some other species will rise to take the place of the last species until the end of time.

The sheer arrogance of mankind astounds me, we try to control nature and that’s what got us into trouble in the first place, interfering with nature, doesn’t anyone understand that? I think we should go one way or the other, take over the planet completely and pool our resources to spreading across the universe or go extinct, but because of the sheer number of us, we’re not going extinct anytime soon… watch out Mars, soon… we’ll fuck up your shit too.

By Josh Skarratts

Stuff I hate people saying

2012-11-12T18:36:00.002-08:00

Okay so I kinda enjoyed being able to rant in my last blog without having to research the fuck out of what I was saying first (I put off writing blogs that take research, I have so many drafts that really need finishing) and so I thought I'd do another. This is my top ~~ten~~ thirteen list of things I really can't stand people saying, but things that millions of people still seem to say anyway. Enjoy.

1. I'm bipolar/I self-harm because I'm depressed

Are you really though? I don't know why it's suddenly become the in-thing to be bipolar or anorexic or depressed or whatever but I just want to say that suffering from any of those things ISN'T FUN and you shouldn't be wearing those labels like a fashion statement. So you're 15 and you have mood swings. They might even be really extreme mood swings. I'm sure it's horrible feeling so low sometimes, but have you considered that it could just be part of being a teenager? I see so many Twitter accounts called things like 'Bipolar bitch' and the like and it really fucking frustrates me because having a mental illness shouldn't be cool. I guess it's kinda good that the stigma attached to these things is practically non-existent anymore but we shouldn't be glorifying this shit. Aside from being potentially dangerous in the case of eating disorders, it's also insulting to people who really do suffer from mental illnesses. Why are you posting pictures of your self-harm online? If you can even call it self-harm. My cat leave deeper scratches than you can but whatever. People who self-harm do not show off their scars. Period. Attention seekers show off cuts because they want to be "different" and "deep" but people with real issues do not take to social media to show off about their "issues". Grow up.

2. I have trust issues

Oh God this is one I really hate. Relationships begin and they end, and sadly, in many cases, one person in the relationship feels it is okay to lie or cheat on their partner.Yeah, it's very sad but my sympathy for you ceases to exist when you let this boy (or girl) taint your judgement of the entire male (or female) population. Not all men are cheating bastards. One guy cheated on you. Get over it. Telling all your future boyfriends that you have trust issues is basically punishing them for something they've not even done and telling them that you're not only still hung up on an ex but that you have no faith that this relationship will work.
We've all been lied to or led on or cheated on at some point. It happens. It is simply not logical to assume that everybody will do the same thing. On a whole, I'd say the world was mainly made up of good people who don't get kicks out of hurting their partners. Why don't you trust them until they give you reason not to rather than starting out every relationship with a defeatist attitude? It's boring.

3. What kind of music do you like?

Is this really going to affect your judgement of me as a person? I've told people before that I like popular music such as...I don't know, Rihanna, and had those people literally lose any respect that they had for me. I don't get it. What I listen to when I put my make up on does not say ANYTHING about me as a person. It's fucking music. I mean, asking which politicians I'm into may give you reason to change your opinion of me (I'm guessing being a fan of Hitler wouldn't win me many friends) but my music taste, really?
It's a sad situation all round really because while you may lose respect for me for not listening to the shit that you listen to, I also lose respect for you for losing respect for me. Not cool.
Oh, and by the way, to all those people (usually moshers who never wash their hair) that think anything that doesn't sound like ogres being killed isn't worthy of their time, read some of Eminem's lyrics. He's got more talent in his little finger than your narrow-minded little brain is ever going to be able to comprehend.

4. I wouldn't get a tattoo unless it had real meaning

This one really infuriates me. I have nothing against tattoos with meaning. Hell, I got a poem tattooed on me that has a fuck load of meaning, but I also have tattoos that I got for no reason other than that they look fucking cool. I could say that the tiger on my back is meaningful because I, uh, really like tigers, but that's a given really isn't it? Of course I'm going to like whatever I get permanently inked onto my body. It doesn't mean that it's particularly meaningful. A tattoo is a piece of art, and like any other work of art, it's primary purpose is to look good. Look at the other things you do to your appearance Dyeing your hair pink, getting your lip pierced, wearing some funky shoes. Nobody expects those things to reflect anything other than your personality and the fact that you want to look a certain way so why should tattoos be any different? I know they're permanent but that shouldn't make a difference. If I think something is going to make me look better, whether that be a tattoo, a pair of fake tits or some new nail polish, I'll do it. It doesn't always have to have a hidden meaning. It is what it is.

5. She's definitely wouldn't get it

I've spoken at length about this here but it definitely still deserves a place on the list purely because I've seen so many boys on Facebook talking about girls' appearances as if they themselves are God's gift and it really winds me up. The worst part is that I never even see a good looking guy talking about girls in this way. It's always either a fat virgin or a chav riddled with STI's for whom it is only a matter of time before they end up dragging chairs around on The Jeremy Kyle Show.
Calling people ugly is never a nice things to do but you need to make sure before you do it that you are flawless because if you're not, there will always be someone sitting at their computer cringing at the irony of your comment. Trust me guys, the girls you're commenting on are far better looking than you can ever hope to be and everybody knows it.

6. She's such a slut

Er, and? I hate people that do this, and it's usually girls slagging other girls off for it. If you're a girl and you've slept with over a hundred guys, I couldn't care less. Unless you've given my boyfriend an STI, what you get up to is your business. It may not be my thing to pull random people in clubs every week but if you wanna do it then go for it. You won't find me hating on you. Just use protection.

7. People who listen to RnB and watch TOWIE are stupid

I got an A* and two A's at A Level. Four A*'s and four A's at GCSE (and a B in art but we won't talk about that). I watch the news. I debate for fun. I read books about theology. I have a favourite scientist. I'm pretty sure I'm not stupid. I'm also twenty years old and excuse me if I want to go and get drunk or watch some trash TV once in a while. The thing I love the most is when people less intelligent than me assume I'm thick just because I don't go around rubbing my IQ in people's faces when the situation doesn't call for it. I could go on all day about this but I won't because I don't feel the need to prove anything to these geeks who vent their insecurities on anyone that they feel threatened by. Go masturbate over Steven Hawking.

8. I've not eaten all day

Yes you have and you know you have so just admit it.

9. I hate One Direction/Ed Sheeran/Justin Bieber

(Note: I only hate teenage boys saying this). Oh do you? What have they ever done wrong to you, apart from be more successful than you, better looking than you and reap in way more female attention than you? Jealously isn't attractive. So what if their music isn't your thing? It's no reason to start a hate campaign against the poor guys. Let's be honest, they're not really interesting enough to hate. Don't waste your time bitching and moaning about them. Just get over the fact that even if you don't think they deserve to be famous, they are, and there's really nothing you can do about it.

10. RIP (insert name of previously unknown artist here)

Yeah so the guy from Suicide Silence died and trended WORLDWIDE on Twitter. I'm not mentioning his name because most of you will have forgotten it now because you were, after all, just hopping on the bandwagon weren't you? I refuse to believe that SS were that famous before this started trending on Twitter. Guys, someone dying isn't a "trend". It's not something you should be pretending to care about in order to look cool or gain more followers. If you didn't know who he was/listen to his music before he died, then there's really no need in you pretending otherwise. And before anyone attacks me for this, no it's not a mark of respect. If he could see you he'd probably be annoyed at you pretending to mourn his death in order to "fit in" on the internet. (If anyone cares, I've listened to Suicide Silence since I was about 14. They follow me on Twitter. Be jealous).

11. Mary Jane Mary Jane Mary Jane Mary Jane

ALL OVER FACEBOOK. I can't even begin to tell you how much this amazes me. You do realise that your not-so-subtle references to your extra-curricular activities will prevent you from ever getting a job, right? Potential employers can stalk like the best of us and if your Facebook is absolutely infested with pictures of your bong, the massive spliff you had last night and status' about how high you are all the time then you're an idiot. End of.

12. Dani "mummy2be" Leigh uploaded 4789340 photos to the album "My baby"

NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR BABY. I don't know how to make it any clearer. To be quite frank, your baby is ugly. I guess it's what happens when you fall pregnant aged 12 to one of the inbred ogres that you've let defile you. Seeing stuff like this makes me want to delete Facebook and just fall off planet earth. It's bad enough (I imagine) hearing people drone on and on and on about their new baby face to face (I wouldn't know, my friends don't have kids because I'm only 20), but what's even worse is seeing it on Facebook. Hey, person that I went to high school with 4 years ago, I really do not care if you are pregnant or if you have three kids by now. I don't want to see your kids. Or read status' about them. Just concentrate on looking after them and if you must use the internet then surf Gumtree, not Facebook.

13. I'm not homophobic but being gay isn't natural

Try telling that to my best friend. I'm sure she'd love not to be the butt of lesbian jokes all the time, to be able to get legally married, to adopt children without the state making it difficult (or even have her own) and do to all the other things that heterosexual people take for granted but guess what, she can't because she doesn't fancy men. Never has, never will. Being a lesbian comes naturally to her, there are no two ways about it.
I kind of understand your point that if everybody was gay then humanity would cease to exist (although it wouldn't because we are clever and have science) but you know, not everyone is gay so it doesn't matter. Some people are gay and believe it or not, it is something they don't necessarily choose to be. It's not something you can just opt into if you fancy it.

Nice Guys DO finish last

2012-11-12T12:45:00.002-08:00

It's an argument I've been hearing ever since I can remember. Now, Nice Guys finishing last is something I've already touched upon in my blog about The Friend Zone, which you can find here, but I feel like I need to elaborate on the Nice Guys themselves and why womankind hates them so much and so here we are.

'Nice Guys finish last, all girls want to date assholes, there's no point being nice to girls because Nice Guys finish last so I'm gonna treat all girls like shit instead.'

I'm sure almost every girl has heard this at somepoint in her life and I'm even more sure that there are a lot of guys on my Facebook friends list who have uttered something along the lines of this upon being rejected/dumped/bored of masturbating and wanting some no strings sex with a real live woman.

Probably then, a lot of these so-called Nice Guys are going to disagree with what I'm about to say and mask their own insecurities as anger in true caveman style aaand to be honest I don't care. It's my blog. That means I'm right. Also, I am a girl, and therefore in a better position to know whether or not I am attracted to assholes or genuinely nice guys (note: not Nice Guys. There is a difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy) than every single one of you bitter little boys who thinks that they have the monopoly on the female brain just because the hottest girl in high school rejected them in favour of some asshole who highlighted his hair and played football better than you.

Okay, so first of all, what is the difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy? If I have to spell it out to you, you're already doing it wrong but here we go. A nice guy is somebody who takes others feelings into consideration and doesn't treat girls badly by lying to them or cheating on them etc. It's a simple as that. It is not to say then, that a nice guy cannot also be confident, flirtatious, stylish and successful with the ladies. A nice guy is every girl's dream man. He knows what he wants in life, has his own hobbies and interests, knows when to take the lead but also treats his girl with respect and as an equal. Sometimes he gets rejected by girls but he just accepts this as a fact of life. He isn't bitter about all the girls that have treated him badly in the past and he doesn't hold the entire female population responsible.

A Nice Guy on the other hand, is the complete opposite. You can't fail to spot a Nice Guy because he will spend the majority of his time telling you just what a Nice Guy he is. If a girl rejects him, it cannot be because they have nothing in common or that she just doesn't find him attractive. It will be because he is a Nice Guy and all girls just want to be abused because we all have daddy issues and would rather be smacked about by some asshole on a motorbike than treated like an actual human being (even though motorbikes are undeniably hot). Nice Guys blame the entire female population for their own inadequacies and will consequently see any successful guy as an asshole, based solely on the fact that he is confident and secure in his own skin..

So why then, do Nice Guys finish last?

Nice Guys oversimplify. They think that if a girl isn't interested in them, it must be because he is Nice. This is bullshit. I have never met a girl who doesn't like nice people. Everybody likes nice people. Have you ever heard anybody saying 'I fucking hate that guy. He's so nice. Ew.' No, you haven't, because nobody fucking says it. The reason she's not interested probably has nothing to do with the fact that you're nice and don't get kicks out of killing kittens.
Okay, so some girls do end things with the excuse of 'you're just too nice.' I'll make it simple for you: she's lying to spare your feelings. What she really means is that she just wants to be single and sleep around and being with you is just not exciting enough for her. Or that you're boring. Or that she's sick of always taking the lead in everything because you're so bothered about not upsetting her. Maybe she means that you're not funny enough. I don't know. What I do know is that she isn't ending it because you're too nice. She just doesn't have the heart or a decent enough vocabulary to say anything else. Or maybe she's just not that nice. Ever considered that? A Suicide Girl isn't going to date fucking McLovin. Shit like that just doesn't happen. No girl wants to feel as though she is corrupting an innocent little virgin. It doesn't make us feel good. There is a reason Megan Fox isn't dating a maths geek who nobody has heard of. We want someone that's on a par with us.
Nice Guys are boring. Sorry but they are. A girl doesn't want conversation that never progresses beyond 'how are you?' and 'what are you up to?' Give her some excitement! God, include a winky face every once in a while. It's not hard. Honestly, keep doing what you're doing and it won't be long before some smouldering hunk whisks her away with his cheeky text messages and innuendos and you'll be sitting there complaining about how she is a witch who hates nice people.
TRY HARDER. Just make some fucking effort.
Don't pretend to be her friend. It's creepy. Make your intentions clear. There's nothing worse than a guy who worms his way into a girl's friendship group, does everything he can to hide his true feelings and then complains when a guy comes along and woos her with a more direct approach. Even worse is guys who pretend to be a girl's friend in the hope of something magically blossoming and then moaning about being Friend-Zoned. Well of course you've been friend-zoned, you've been acting like her fucking gay best friend for the past two years.
Don't be clingy. Ever heard of the saying 'treat em mean, keep em keen'? Nice Guys like to take this literally and use it as evidence for their stupid claims about Nice Guys finishing last but in reality it means don't come on too strongly. Most people get put off by somebody that moves too quickly, that texts them every five minutes and wants to see them every minute of the fucking day. She has a life of her own and so do you. Don't forget about it as soon as you meet a pretty girl. Nobody likes to be put on a pedestal by somebody they've only just met. It's creepy.
Something Nice Guys tend to acquire is 'Girlfriend Syndrome'. This is where a guy desperately wants a girlfriend. He doesn't much care who the girl is or if they have anything in common, he just wants somebody to treat like a princess. As cute and romantic as the latter part may sound, a girl wants to feel special. She doesn't want to feel like your third choice. Oh, and don't do clichés like flowers and chocolates and chick flicks. While stuff like that can be okay sometimes, a girl will know when you're doing the same things you've done to woo all your other girlfriends. Pay attention to her and what she likes.
It is not a girl's fault if she just doesn't like you. We all like different people and if she just doesn't feel a connection or any sexual chemistry with you then it doesn't matter how nice you are to her, it's not going to work. If it did work, you wouldn't be finishing 'first' because eventually you'd both realise that you aren't well suited and probably end up more miserable than you would have done had you just accepted that at the start of the relationship. A woman is not a 'reward'. A girl isn't something you get given in exchange for doing certain things. The bible says that good works do not earn your place in heaven. It's the same with Nice Guys and vaginas.
Nice Guys spend too much time feeling sorry for themselves. They are so egotistical and bitter about the female species that I would go so far as to assert that they are not nice at all because nice people are not as arrogant and bigoted as this. Maybe if all the Nice Guys of the world stopped obsessing over their own nice-ness and instead concentrated on somebody else (namely, the girl in question), they would have better luck. If you are genuinely nice, you won't need to tell everybody how nice you are and as a result will reap the benefits.

Understood?

I just want to end by citing a couple of real examples about Nice Guys vs. nice guys and why the Nice Guys finished last. I don't want to be too specific so I'm not going to tell you whether these people were in my life last week or last year but that shouldn't matter anyway so here we go.

A Nice Guy I met was possibly the most arrogant and bigoted person out of every single boy I have ever been involved with. He droned on endlessly about how all his ex-girlfriends were bitches who had cheated on him or lied to him or some other shit that I didn't and still don't care about, told me over and over how nice he was and how all his friends were more successful with girls than he was even though he was a much nicer person. He took me on a date and turned up about two hours late without an apology, and upon arriving at the restaurant told me that he'd already eaten so we'd just be having starters. He then spent the entire date talking shit about girls who had treated him badly by behaving like sluts and whores and how much of a moral person he was. He then told me he could see no future with us because I was friends with my ex. As if I wasn't already spitting with indignation! I'd actually already kissed one of his friends about two years earlier but it was more down the the fact that the guy was funnier, more flirtatious and less on his fucking moral high horse than whether or not he was a fucking "Nice Guy."

Now onto the nice guys. I don't have one specific example of a genuine nice guy because I go for nice guys. I like people who make the effort to see me, pay me compliments, text me, yada yada yada. Genuine nice guys aren't bitter and constantly putting down other people for not living as moral a life as they are. THAT IS WHAT IS APPEALING ABOUT THEM. They are themselves, happy in their own skin. They may drink and smoke and have sex but they are still nice.

The difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy is that a nice guy gets the girls by being himself whereas Nice Guys will always finish last because they are forever in a bubble of bitterness, indignation and warped logic regarding women. Nice Guys just aren't nice people. That, my friends, is why they finish last.

2012-10-30T08:40:00.002-07:00

Lord, how little I've seen, done, lived, felt, thought compared with the Huxleys. Aldous takes life in hand. Whether that damages his writing I don't know. He is "modern". He is endlessly athletic and adventurous. He will be able to say he did not waste his youth. Some bitterness is the goad which drives him on. Death comes; nothing matters; at least let me see all there is to be seen, read all there is to be read. I fancy no one thing gives him the immense satisfaction things give me. That's all the comfort I find' - Virginia Woolf