GAY

How to Meet Gays Online at Free Gay Dating Sites

2012-07-08T07:05:00.003-07:00

Nowadays, it is really easy for gays to find partners with the help of free online gay dating sites. It is essential on your part to make proper search about the gay dating site about which you are thinking of joining soon because it may be a scam too. Find out the site that is suitable for you and satisfy all your needs. You will get a good result if you will sign up for various gay dating web sites and then spend a little time over them to know whether they suit your requirements or not.

Mostly the services offered by online gay dating sites are meant for both gay females and males but certain web sites cater to the needs of male and female gays on a separate note. The gays have the opportunity to find out their soul mate and partner with ease. No matter whether you go for online dating site for gays or the site where homosexual and heterosexual section is also available, you just have to check out that the site must offer singles in your section too. It is essential for you to look out for your benefits.

In case you as a gay wonder whether to go for online dating site or not, then just think over the point that what will you do if you will not opt for gay dating site. Do you have any other option in your hands? If yes then it is good but if no then there is no problem in trying out for gay online dating web sites. The social restrictions and obligations are too much that people do not have enough time or confidence to go out and find out a partner. It is true in case of gays.

The presence of online gay dating site has created a platform for all gays to live happy life with the partner of their own choice. You can accept love without any obligation or litigation. You are free to find your soul mate just like others. You can make a search for gay singles any time which suits you like evening, afternoon or morning. The web site is there for you 24x7 hours. There are many gay sites that will allow you to be anonymous while you try to understand the person whom you met online. It is right time for gays to find their partners.

Prior paying anything to any gay dating web site, it is recommended to try out for 4-5 sites to check their services and then take a decision. The factors will be like the number of singles available in your section on different sites, comfort zone, availability of email accounts, bulletin boards, and chat rooms. After considering all these points choose the one that is perfect for you and then you can pay for the services. It is better to use the free membership of other web sites too because it will allow you to share your profile with the newcomers. It is a modern time, so gay seeking for a gay is not a problem. It is as easy as searching for an opposite sex life partner.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jenny_Rogers

What Makes A Perfect Gay Wedding?

2012-07-08T07:04:00.002-07:00

When a couple decides they want to bind their love in the eyes of the law and the rest of the world they choose to get married. It is great that same sex couples can get and they can enjoy all the traditions and trimmings of a typical wedding. However not every gay wedding will be the same and may not always follow the traditions as most weddings.

Most people have thought about what kind of wedding they would like, so have an idea already in mind. If not then you have to get your thinking caps on as how you see things can be quite pivotal to how the rest of the wedding will look and go. If you have idea about how you want the suits to look or where or how the party after wards will go you could work with that and let it influence the rest of the day.

One of the first things you want to do is find the location. This can be tricky making sure they are available. Look around and see if they are suitable to host a gay wedding. Booking the right place gets the ball rolling and sets it in stone giving everyone a date to work with.

The next step would be figuring out how many people you're going to invite to your gay wedding. You want numbers and this is quite important as once you know you can book the right tables and other things. The numbers could also affect the location, you don't want somewhere too big or too small, just right. The invitations are a vital way of finding out the numbers. Some design can go into the invites and depends how much money you have to spend on your big gay wedding they you could make then quite fancy.

The other main thing is to make sure you have someone who is registered to conduct a gay wedding. Of course there are religious things to people get wed so make sure you get a person you want. Once you have someone booked then you have the foundations of any wedding.

Now you have the main building blocks of a gay wedding you can start to put the little bits together. This is where you can really put your own style to proceedings. There is the clothes you need to think about. What are the two lucky men or women going to wear? Do you want things to have a certain look or colour scheme? The transportation needs to be looked at and the cake needs addressing.

The other main thing that is important but not necessary is the dance party after wards. For some this is one of the main focuses of the night and for some the most memorable. Again you will need to find a venue and catering for this. Also music and entertainment for the night. This is when the people can let their hair down and have fun.

These are the basics of a gay weddings and if you follow them you can't go far wrong. The most important thing really is the loving couple and the fact they are getting married, committing to each other and expressing their love.

matt @ gay wedding

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Matt_Mccarten

A Gay Sane Christmas: 10 Tips for Making It Through the Holiday Blues

2012-07-08T07:03:00.002-07:00

I asked my five-year old muse the other day, "what should mama write about?" Her response was romantic and simple, "About love and Christmas." I blame Disney for her fantastic belief in love; that will surely come back to bite me later in life, when she is older, and developed a better perspective of the complexity of love and people (until than I let her dream and embellish).

I am such a cynic, and honestly I have never really cared about the holidays. In fact, for over a decade this time of year has often upset me. People seem to become instantly caring, and grateful just as they are cleaning up their fake Christmas trees and decorating them. My belief is that the time of giving and gratitude should be practiced daily, all 365 days of a year. I suppose that is a greater task than just focusing on the thirty something days at the end of the year.

My girlfriend, who becomes a crazy fun loving Mrs. Clause the second Thanksgiving passes, blames my darkness for the festive season on being an orphan. She is utterly correct, although I would never admit it to her face. I have too much pride at stake.

True, the holidays are horrible for those without family or who have recently encountered a loss of some kind loss. The holidays can become a constant reminder of happier times, and we become triggered into depression by past losses, unresolved grief, ruminating over the past, contrasting between the images of holiday cheer and the reality of our lives, and a sense of increased loneliness and isolation.

In addition, it is also the most stressful time of the year. I become increasingly overwhelmed by the months being shorter due to public holidays, but the amount of work and due dates staying the same. We also have more thing to do, people to see, money to spend (which someone of us don't have), more traffic, more crowds, and longer waiting lines. All the extra demands on our time, financial resources, attention, and energy that is required in the festive season can bring us quickly crashing down.

It's been my signature move in the past to hibernate, and hide from the world for the next month. I would lie to everyone I know, telling them I already have plans and stay indoors where it is safe and sound from the chaos, and monstrous world known as "Christmas Time".

Unfortunately, my charade has been brutally ended by my loving partner who celebrates this time with full force, and has already designed the front yard to look like the North Pole landed in our neighborhood!

So I had to come up with a plan of keeping my sanity and here it is... my gift to you for Christmas:

And this is not a joke. Say the Serenity prayer. Use it like a mantra to get through the roughest of patches "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It does not matter what you believe in, if you believe in anything outside yourself even a door knob having the power of the universe, these three verses will resonate peace in you.

Organize your time. Making space for much needed rest. This is a good time to learn the sentence, "thank you, but I will not be able to do that."

Don't confront family and friends during this time of year on past resentment and upsets. It will feel similar to learning Chinese while in the middle of an argument. In addition, do not let anyone confront you either. Declare amnesty during this time or learn forgiveness, after all, it is the time of giving even if it is moments of peace.

Do not ruminate and compare the past to the present. It is futile and absolutely useless. Remembering the past fondly is very different to never forgetting or reliving it every day. As much as we hate the truth, the past is gone, and is never what we truly remember it to be. It is far easier to fantasize about what we thought or wanted in the past, than to stay focused on making our present the reality we desire. Do the work; get the reward- Stay Present!

Give back to your community. Volunteer if possible.

Save money by making gifts and doing small services for those you love. Also stay on budget, every year I budge my Christmas gifts. It saves me time and money. With my child, especially, it's about spending more time with her than buying her gifts.

Eat right and exercise. We go for walks and window shopping. It's fun and we get some fresh air.

Sleep. Don't party too hard that you burn yourself out. The New Year is coming; you want the past burdens of last year to be behind you, and be well rested for the future.

No big changes during this time. Wait just a few more weeks till the chaos has calmed down and your back to your schedule to change anything.

Enjoy the time off and laughter. Sometimes the holidays are a great time to self-punish and get into the victim thinking. Please stop right there. Everyday is a moment to become anew, to shed our old skin of the past and be free from our resentments and bitterness. You can either choose to punish yourself into misery and get a little sympathy or you can live and enjoy the world around you.
Good luck my fellow people! I am off to make my two girls at home Christmas dreams come true filled, with happiness and of course love.

Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru

I am a Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer on SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where LGBTs can find one another, learn from each other, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest in discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://TheLesbianGuru.com! Are just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alex_Karydi

Gay Dating Tactics: Your First-Date Do's & Don'ts

2012-07-08T07:02:00.002-07:00

Introduction

Nothing gets the heart pumping quite like the nervous anticipation that goes along with going out on a first date with a guy. Whether it's a blind date or someone you're already acquainted with, the first meeting with a dating prospect brings with it a host of emotions, more commonly a mixture of excitement and nervousness. As the pivotal moment approaches, thoughts can become centered on such questions as: "Will he like me?" "Will I like him?" "Is he going to be The One?" "What if I mess things up and make a fool of myself?" "What will I talk about? What if I run out of things to say?"

Everyone's experience is different, but the one common denominator that most daters would testify to is that it can be difficult to navigate through the waters of man-to-man dating. Although it's changing, we gay men have few role models to emulate when it comes to love and romance. There's no template to follow and we were never taught how to flirt with and date other men. There are no rules, no structure, and no guidance. How do two men join together in the "courtship dance?" While a lack of rules for gay dating can be a positive thing, lending to more creativity, spontaneity, and individuality, it can also create anxiety and a sense of "cluelessness" in how to meet and date successfully--kind of like a car without a driver.

This article will offer some tips on how to approach your first date with that lucky guy you've chosen to get to know in sequence of that date's occurrence. While these are by no means "rules", these ideas can offer a means to ground yourself and make the most out of the experience without sabotaging it before it gets off the ground. Pick and choose the ones that seem right for you and create your own principles as a means of being a healthy dater who lives with integrity and follows his own values.

Before the Date

·When setting a time and place for your date, be sure to make it a short meeting (1-2 hours) for the first time and select a place that is either activity-oriented or allows for lots of opportunity to talk. Avoid movies and instead opt for a short get-together at a coffee shop or at the zoo. Making it brief takes a lot of the pressure off, especially if you find the two of you aren't compatible, and allows for healthy pacing of your dating relationship. You can always extend the date if you're getting along famously.

·Take the emphasis off of it being a date and instead view it as a chance to meet a potential new friend. This can help "take the edge off" and allow you to relax without focusing on the outcome of the date. Avoid placing too many hopes and expectations on the encounter; let it evolve naturally and if a spark ignites during your time together, then that's an added bonus!

·If you're particularly nervous, take some time to do some relaxation exercises (deep breathing, visualization, etc.) to help soothe yourself and get centered. If you're worried about what to talk about, generate a list of possible ideas beforehand and role-play with a friend to build confidence. But don't rely too much on this or you'll appear stiff and rehearsed. Be cool and be yourself. This isn't about performance.

·Dress comfortably and in clothing that makes you feel good about yourself. Make sure you and your date are on the same page about the style of dress for your date. In my own dating days, I showed up for a second date in a nice oxford shirt and jeans to then find my other half dressed to the nines in a French suit not realizing his intentions for the evening. It made for a very embarrassing moment and he cancelled the reservations he'd made for us for dinner at a ritzy, fine-dining establishment. He then changed into more casual clothes and took me to a family restaurant instead. Ouch! His image of me instantly changed and he stopped seeing me after that. He did us both a favor by ending things, but at the time it was quite humiliating. So be clear to avoid any miscommunication.

During the Date

·Be punctual and relax. No matter how attracted you may be to the man sitting across from you, it is your responsibility to be yourself--avoid trying to put up a façade and be someone you're not to try to impress your date. You are great just as you are. Let him get to know the real you; otherwise, you're engaging in a form of deception that will only come back to bite you later. Be authentic and eventually you'll be rewarded with a truly compatible partner.

·Be attentive to your date. Show respect by maintaining good eye contact and don't let those eyes stray if there are other attractive men in the room. Have an open posture and let your nonverbal communication and body language convey interest in learning about your date. Stay out of your own head and shut off those distracting thoughts; really listen to what he's saying. Balance active listening with sharing things about yourself. Ask open-ended questions to gain more elaboration on points made in your discussion to stretch out conversations and learn more about your date. This is especially effective if you're feeling shy or are short on things to say because it gets the other person talking more, allowing for more tidbits that you can start other dialogues about. Be positive and let your sense of humor shine through.

·Avoid controversial topics of discussion as these may be offensive to your date. You can ease into these the more you get to know him. Avoid alcohol, as this may alter your behavior, and stay away from sexual content and innuendo. Unless sex is the motivation for your date, introducing sexual talk into your first date can set the tone in an inappropriate direction. Discussions about sex and sexual preferences can come later after you've been able to establish more of a genuine, mature connection. Questions like "Are you a top or a bottom?" may appear crass at a first meeting and may cause an unfavorable impression of you to form in your date's mind and image of you.

After the Date

·Whether your date was a smash hit or a disaster, exercise good manners and thank your new acquaintance for the date. If you'd like to see him again, state this and call him in a day or so to ask him out again. Don't get caught up in the whole dating game of "How many days should I hold off to call him to avoid looking desperate?" or "I'm going to let him be the one to call me." If you like him, take charge of your life and make that call. If you didn't feel a "love connection" with the guy, thank him for the date and kindly and tactfully tell him that it's not a match. While this may be extremely difficult, it's always best to be honest and direct in a gentle, polite way. If you'd like to try to develop a friendship instead, suggest that. But be honest and direct and don't tell him you'll call him again if you really have no intention of doing so. That's cruel.

·Do some de-briefing after your date and reflect on your conduct, as well as your date's, and perhaps journal about the experience. How did you feel? How did you manage yourself during the date? What would you have changed? What went well? What did you learn about yourself as a result of this date? How would you rate the date and the guy you met? From what you can tell so far, is there compatibility with your personal requirements and vision for a life partner? Is he matching up thus far with your needs, wants, goals, and values?

Conclusion

Dating can be a nerve-wracking, daunting task, particularly with the absence of dating education available to us as gay men. What traditions and roles that our heterosexual counterparts have for dating are applicable for us, if any? What are we supposed to do?

The key is to have fun with dating and take a light approach. Dating is both an art and a science in my belief, combining common sense decision-making with self-awareness of what one wants and needs for a happy and fulfilling lifestyle. When your dating behavior is in alignment with your values and vision for a relationship, you'll be living with integrity and will be able to approach all your dates with a more relaxed tone and confident demeanor. It will make the process much more easy-going and rewarding. Cheers to your dating success!

©2005 Brian L. Rzepczynski

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included:

Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: "I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right." To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs,and teleclasses, please visit www.TheGayLoveCoach.com.

Please also include with the article the words © Copyright and prominently display a link to our main page at the end of the article. Any feedback would be appreciated and can be sent to brian@thegaylovecoach.com. Thank you!

Brian Rzepczynski holds a Master's Degree in Social Work from Western Michigan University and is also a Certified Personal Life Coach through The Coach Training Alliance. He launched his private coaching practice, The Gay Love Coach (http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com), in 2003 and works with gay men, both singles and couples, on developing skills for improving their dating lives and relationships. He publishes a monthly ezine called "The Man 4 Man Plan" that has helpful articles, tips, resources, and an advice column relating to gay relationships and dating. He is also the co-author of the 2005 self-help book "A Guide to Getting It: Purpose & Passion.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brian_Rzepczynski

The Truth Behind Being Gay

2012-07-08T07:00:00.002-07:00

I feel compelled to share some of the wisdom I've acquired about souls and how they relate to the issue of people being labeled as gay. This is some of the metaphysics behind the truths I have found which explain and finally brings to light what being gay really is.

This is a polarizing topic to say the least, with strong opinions on each side of the topic. Some people are against what is referred to as homosexuality and believe that there is something wrong with people who fall into that category. Gay people in our society have been persecuted for their nature and although over time the public appears to be getting more and more tolerant of these peoples choices, there still remains a lot of sick psychotic opposition to gay people having rights and being treated like any other human being.

If you look at the trend, it's just a matter of time when people laugh at the fact that at one time in our history homosexuality was considered a bad thing. It will soon be common place and something that is normal and acceptable in the near future, just look at the way homosexuals are obtaining more and more tolerance and acceptability from society. Well except for the middle east where man's immature consciousness is very slow in awakening from its fear of what it sees in the mirror.

Opposite of Love is Fear

So what were all the intolerance, anger and non acceptance about in the first place? Well fear of course. If god is love, then the polarity of that which is the darkest things that men do derives from its opposite, which is fear. The opposite of love is fear, not hate. Hate is a byproduct of fear and man's fear always precedes his hate.

Our world, or society, is on a constant expansion of consciousness, is constantly maturing. We are growing up in more ways than one. And at each maturation level we are exposed to more and more truths and we have to process it and be OK with it. Our first response when faced with new and different occurrences is to react in fear. To say no, to fight against the change be it people or information.

A famous and obvious example is of the so called colored people in our society. How did society, the haves, deal with the influx of other people who had not? At first they reacted sternly with no! And as time went on, we now have a black president.

This is the way of the world, of human nature since the fall of man. Be it people from Africa being labeled slaves, or people from Mexico being labeled as illegals, or people who are just being true to their nature being called homosexuals. We tend to react in fear and say no, then eventually we seem to accept what is. Eckhart Tolle and Buddha both say:

"all suffering comes from not accepting what is".

Now that we have had this little walk down memory lane on how society tends to react with "no"; at new and different information. Here is something else that eventually will be accepted for the truth that it is.

What causes someone to be Gay?

We are not humans having spiritual experiences; we are spirits having a human experience. The true nature of a spirit is androgynous, neither male nor female. There is no gender in the spirit world which is the true nature of our existence. Gender is something that is experienced in physical reality, which is a creation of the spirit world.

Spirits created our world, our universe in order to play in it to have experiences. Why? Because they can. In truth there is only one spirit and all other spirits are copies of this source spirit. See the prime radiant for more info.

Spirits incarnate into our physical world in human form and live their lives as us in an ever evolving, never ending story that is the totality of our worlds and universes. In the game being played out on Earth there are about 300 million individual souls playing the part of the over 7 billion people on the planet. This includes every man woman and child that has ever lived and will live also. We have come before and we shall come again. Each soul can have up to 12 concurrent lives here on Earth. The number of our universe is 12. These concurrent lives may be of male or female or a mixture of both.

Spirits enter into the "Earth game" for periods of different cycles. The long cycle is the procession of the equinox which is the time it takes the sun to complete its orbit of the Milky Way galaxy; about 25,900 years.

Everything in the Universe spins, as movement is the nature of life. We are alive because our blood cells circulate our bodies once every 30 seconds. The Earth, which is a living being, spins on its axis once every 24 hours. The moon spins around the Earth. The Earth spins around the Sun, and unbeknownst to most people who exit society's public school system, the Sun also moves in a circle around our galaxy and its central sun Alcyone (all see one). This is the aforementioned long cycle of 25,900 years. There are even larger cycles above this where our galaxy spins around larger objects. This goes on never ending to infinity. But the human mind has difficulty understanding infinity and things this large and amazing. It brings up the fear response mentioned above and this is why we don't teach, acknowledge or even believe this when we hear it. It's much too scary.

That was the Macro version as things get bigger. Life also does the same cycles and maturation on the microscopic levels. That same blood cell which circles the body every 30 seconds is made of things we call atoms, which contain things like a nucleolus, which looks and acts like a sun because things we call protons and electrons go around it in a circle. Things actually get smaller and smaller without end to infinity also.

This is how amazingly powerful the world we live in is, just imagine how beyond our understanding the spirit world which created all this is? Do not try to understand it with your mind, you will likely just be in fear and choose not to believe what is. It is simple easier for society, up until now to simply say, we do not know, and ignore all possibilities.

But like the Africans and the Mexicans and the Gays, eventually the truth of accepting what IS works its way into the mind and consciousness of society and as humanity accepts these truths, it grows in consciousness.

So now we are being told that spirits incarnate into humanity over and over, that we have all had many lives here on Earth, that at the soul level we are truly immortal, that there is really no devil or hell, this was simply once again man using fear to shift the blame from himself. It was better to say that the devil made me do it. Everyone really goes back to the spirit world which is more like heaven than anything else, and that the true nature of reality is based on love, and that everything else is really just an illusion.

Duality/Polarity

Part of the illusion of Earth existence is duality, plurality. Everything on Earth has an opposite and everything is defined by its opposite. This is all to set up the fact that we can choose to see, do and believe this or that. It truth, in the spirit world there is just oneness and everyone knows peace and joy. Worlds like Earth were created so that spirits would have a place to experience polarized versions of the spirit world. We could now be this thing called male or female. Believe it or not there are worlds where there are 3 of everything, even 3 genders. Those are in Trinary systems. Here we are in a binary system and so there are 2 of everything. Now you know why everything you see created by our computers is based on the binary system. It is the base system of this universe we are playing in. The spirits playfully introduce this info everywhere like in the episode of Fringe called "there is two of everything".

So now you have a slightly better understanding of how there are 2 genders for us to play with. And as we incarnate from lifetime to lifetime we sometimes live lives as male and others as female. We even go through cycles that are masculine and famine. We are actually now coming out of a patriarchal cycle or age here on Earth. Which means that the focus was on the masculine nature of our existence? As you can see it has been out of balance and far too masculine. This has led to much war, strife and suffering.

Before that though we were in a more matriarchal cycle where there were talks of the divine feminine. Where woman were more appreciated and respected and there was more peace and caring and a nurturing way of things, which is the way of the feminine. Think about the Native American and how they saw the Earth as a mother. How some faiths center on Jesus and yet with others, the main focus is on his mother Mary.

Now you understand the true meaning of the Yin and Yang as it applies to cycles in creation. Our world is based on duality and polarity and the many choices we get to experience due to these aspects of its nature.

The soul as it incarnates into physical reality tends to seek balance as it gathers experiences and grows as a soul. It does not spend every life here as male or vice versa. It tends to balances itself over time. One of the things happening now on Earth is that we are at the end of a great cycle and that is what all the 2012 stuff is about. We are also leaving a patriarchal cycle and trying to bring that into balance to where it is both male and female equally. This balance of masculine and feminine is more on a larger scale energetically where we are dealing with the nature of these energies, and not so much as on the sexual aspects, which is what society mostly sees. Consider that there are indeed grander aspects of being masculine and feminine at play here than just our sexual parts and who we want to sleep with.

When you see someone who is say... a gay woman for example, what you have is a soul whose last lives or past lives left it with a more masculine nature. And since souls are immortal they retain the thoughts, likes, dislikes, urges, needs, traits from their accumulative existences. This means that this is a soul whose nature is more masculine in nature and now it has chosen to incarnate in a female body.

Now the reasons for choosing to incarnate in a female body can be many. The obvious reason is to balance its energies which may be well overdue. Some souls like to be male all the time and some choose to be female. It is just a free choice preference that we are allowed to make. But over time, their true nature is androgynous so when it is all said and done, to actually graduate from Earth school, with honors, one tends to have to be balanced. So the reason for choosing a female body this life time can be simply just to balance.

With this attempt to balance, society sees a female that likes other females. And this is the truth behind homosexuality. So yes, she was born that way. No one makes you gay; it is from your true nature and your incarnations over time. This is why people find themselves in bodies of a gender that seems to cause a bit of confusion when they apply societal norms, fears and values. In the end, when one has the full picture, we see what we find whenever we take a close look at creation, that there really is no problem, that everything is as it should be. When we accept what IS, there is no suffering.

Creation is Perfect

The creator and therefore creation is perfect, loving, and we are all nurtured and encompassed in unconditional love. Society tends to believe at times that it is not OK, and says no! But it tends to eventually see that this is always (all ways) OK.

So put away the fear of that other version of you who is masculine and now finds itself in a female body. When you hate others you hate yourself. Your enemy is your inner me. Remember it is only you playing the Earth game, where you forget who you are and have an experience as someone else on Earth. You have been every race, every gender, every class, the good guy and the bad guy. And all suffering, war, hate or strife came from you choosing to be that way to the other version of you. And when you decide you have had enough, you will stop and have a thousand years of peace, joy and prosperity.

And if you are one of these souls who feel ashamed or regret who you are due to societal limits, know that you are perfect because you exist. You are needed at this time. The creator is flooding our world with feminine energy so that we can bring this masculine age into balance before we enter the Age of Aquarius. This is why there are so many females being born in India at the present time. Remember there are only about 300 million souls playing this game, so many of the masculine inclined souls have chosen to enter as female to support the cause and the creators call. So you are a perfect divine servant of the creator who is here to bring the Earth into balance, even though you knew the price you would pay initially in order to bring about balance. You are perfect. Same goes for men who find themselves being feminine in nature. It accomplishes the same thing; more feminine energy on Earth. These are also more advanced souls who were selected to play the so called "gay" role. Many were called and few were chosen.

So here you have my truth of the Metaphysics and spiritual aspects behind homosexuality.

Norman Bird is a Student/Teacher of New Age Spirituality, Meta Physics, Healing & Alchemy. He runs the Nature Of Reality Magazine CreationIsLove.com. He also maintains LightWorkersDirectory.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Norman_Bird

Gay Fairytales

2012-07-08T06:59:00.002-07:00

Why does every second gay guy I meet tell me how irritated he is with the rest of the gay community? Every gay guy tells me a story about this and that guy who betrayed him and that he only wants for a dear and genuine soul mate. I do not get it because if there are so many gay guys who want a steady dependable relationship then why can't anybody get one? Every gay guy tells me he will be faithful and the rest are not. Doesn't make sense does it? Is it possible that we are just as emotionally shallow as our heterosexual brothers? Heaven forbid.

I read a book about manhood once. The book had quite a few chapters on the relationship between fathers and sons. One of the things that I will never forget was a poem the author wrote (referred to?) that a son wrote to his dad. The broad idea was that the son asked his dad why he never told him. Without feeling guilty about plagiarism I remember something like:

Dad, why did you never tell me that you were scared at times? Why didn't you tell me that you sometimes did not know the answers? Why did you fail to show me that you were not that strong, not that smart, not that faithful and not always that responsible? Why did you never showed me that you cried sometimes, doubted love, wanted to run away at times? Why did you never tell me that you wondered about your own sexuality at times? (I don't think this last one was in the book, the author was straight if I remember correctly, but if he wanted to be really thorough.....)

The fact is that I could really relate to that poem, don't remember a lot about the rest of the book though, being aimed at straight guys and all. The poem really made me cry, yes boys, I can cry, in fact I am a real cry-baby at times; I am gay for Pete's sake.

Your relationship with your dad, especially if you are gay, there is something missing there, isn't it? I know this about myself and I see this in therapy all the time; gay boys have bad relationships with their dads and it began before the two of them realized that "boetie" (little brother) is gay. The book I referred to was written by a straight guy and aimed at straight guys and I got the impression that these straight guys had bad relationships with their dads as well. Why would that be? I mean it is not as if you can take it out on the old man, because he probably had the same experience with his dad when he was a little boy. Maybe men just can't deal with emotions and they get flustered and behave like baboons when they get them. Yes, you would say, that might be true about straight guys, but we "gaaiiyys" are different; are we really? I know we can throw tantrums and I know we can be bitchy, but can we deal with our emotions?

That brings me back to my original question: why do all gay guys look for a dependable boyfriend and yet very few get one. Is it possible that we are just as emotionally underdeveloped than straight guys? Is it possible that we want a dependable man, but we do not want to be one? The straight guy's paradise: daddy is fooling around while mummy is faithfully waiting at home. Is it possible that you can get the homosexual out of the boys, but you can't get the boy out of the homosexual? Somehow a lot of us are lying to ourselves. Maybe, and I know I am going to hate myself for saying this, the most dependable and honest gay guys are the ones that admit they want to screw around until they drop. Just maybe they are the truthful ones. And boys, if that is true, then we are in trouble, because I want to believe in the fairytale; the fairytale of Prince Peter and Princess John.

Except for you guys that think you would want to screw around until you drop, most of us do want to believe in that fairytale. You guys who think you want to screw around until you drop and that often tell us that we, the fairytale believers, want to copy a heterosexual family game, sorry boys, you are the ones copying the typical chauvinistic boys in suburbia, not we.

Andrew Blade is a founding member and sex-therapist at the Cobra group. His specialty is gay and lesbian sexology. You could read more of his articles on:

http://www.cobrahelping.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrew_Blade

Gay Marriage: The Bible, The Constitution, and Economics

2012-07-08T06:58:00.002-07:00

North Carolina's recent ban on gay marriage and Obama's commentary on the matter have led to much discussion of the controversial issue. Gay marriage has led to many heated debates, typically between far right evangelicals and the left/libertarian leaning crowd. Evangelicals are opposed to gay marriage, and homosexuality in general, because they view it as a sin. The purpose of this article is not to argue the morality or immorality of homosexuality, but to make a religious, economic, Constitutional, and logical argument for homosexual marriage. Again, this is not a case for the morality of gay marriage, but the legality.

Conservative Christians believe that God sanctioned traditional marriage between a man and a woman. They argue that government is sanctioned by God as well, and they conclude marriage should be regulated by government in accordance with scripture. Many sincerely believe that God will not bless our nation if we allow homosexuals to marry. Does this view line up with Biblical teaching? Let's take a look! Matthew 5:21-22 says, "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'You shall not murder,[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister[b][c] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, 'Raca,'[d] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell." Matthew 5:27-28 says, "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." You may be wondering what these verses have to do with gay marriage. These verses illustrate that God judges the heart, not merely the actions of men. While laws may change behavior they will not change hearts. Because on that fact, the laws of men do not have an impact on God's blessing or curse; only the changing hearts of men will.

The First Amendment can also be used to make a legitimate case for gay marriage. The Establishment Clause prohibits the federal government from "establishing an official religion, or from favoring or disfavoring one view of religion over another." Christians are quick to quote the First Amendment when it applies to them, but they seem to forget about it when it is others who are being oppressed. If the First Amendment prevents merely religious arguments against gay marriage, then what other arguments can be made? Behavior cannot be banned simply because it is offensive. Throughout history the Supreme Court has been quick to strike down any laws that have even a slight connection to impeding free speech or any other Constitutional right. The Equal Protection Clause and the Due Process Clause have also been used as defenses for gay marriage.

There is an economic argument for gay marriage as well. Marriage is a method of reducing transaction costs, like any other institution. Marriage would save gay couples from having to hire a lawyer to create the numerous contracts they would need. It is simply more efficient to allows gays to marry. Having to provide the proper contracts and documents whenever a decision needs to be made about a child or significant other's health would be inefficient and uneconomical.

While this article has focused on the reasons to legalize gay marriage, I would like to recommend an even better alternative: no federal definition or involvement in marriage whatsoever. This would protect everyone's rights and put everyone on an equal playing field. Marriage could still be dealt with through Contract Law; individuals would simply have to choose what type of contract they want to be bound by, if any. This would also satisfy the Christian's belief in the sanctity of marriage. No secular institution can sanctify marriage. Only God can do so.

Andrew P. Beall
BBA Economics

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrew_P_Beall

Dating Advice For the Gay Man in the 21st Century

2012-07-08T06:45:00.002-07:00

You may be a single gay person who has finally decided to take a risk and meet other people. You actually want to go out on a date with someone and have the time of your life. However, dates are fairly unpredictable events and things can go from good to bad in just a matter of hours. You may actually be looking for someone you'd be seeing yourself in a serious relationship with. Or, perhaps you're just looking for a good time and hang out with someone who can possibly be a friend to you in the long run. There are numerous things to keep in mind before going out on a date. Even with the many changes in society during these modern times, one thing remains: gay dating is as socially accepted as ever before. With that in mind, perhaps you'd like to take note of a few things before you go out with someone:

- You have a lot of venues to look for people who are rocking the same boat as you. One reliable resource is the Internet. There are numerous dating websites these days which can truly help you find potential romantic partners. These are simply the most popular ways of socializing for the 21st century, and are currently the main reasons why people have met their respective partners in life. Of course, there are a lot of them, but you need to make sure that you get to pick a website that you're comfortable with.

- When you've decided to go for online dating, it is highly essential that you remain true to yourself. After all, you wouldn't want to give someone any false impressions. When you're making an online profile, you need to use your own photo. Don't grab pictures of celebrities off the Internet. Besides, how would you feel if you met someone who posted an attractive photo, only to discover his real appearance is far from what you actually saw on their main profile? You'd be disappointed, no doubt.

- When you've met a few potential people to go out gay dating with, don't rush into things. Take your time and get to know each other a bit better. You can utilize instant messaging and chat rooms to strike up conversations with them. Talking to each other more will help you realize just what it is you're looking for in a date.

Bernard Y invites you to www.freedating411.com, dedicated to sharing useful information on relationships and everything under the sun concerning one's dating and love life.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bernard_Y

Gay Parenting

2012-07-08T06:08:00.002-07:00

Somewhere between 6 million and 12 million children have been blessed with gay parents. Yet, gay and lesbian parents continue to struggle on a daily basis with the challenges of a homophobic society and institutionalized oppression. Gays and lesbians are the only population facing restrictions on the rights and privileges of parenthood.

When it comes to parenting, as well as other civil rights, gays and lesbians are de facto second class citizens: 1) Many states still bar adoptions and foster parenting by gay men and lesbians; 2) Family courts have taken children away from gay parents and awarded custody to a heterosexual relative or former spouse; 3) Excessive custodial and visitation restrictions are also part of the gay parenting experience; 4) Hard to place and chronically ill children are often the only available adoption options for gay parents; 5) Legal limitations on same-sex partnership protections, such as shared health insurance,
parental leave, etc, put an extra burden on gay parents and their co-parenting partners; 6)Social deprivation in all the ways in which gay relationships are not supported in this society, in families of origin, school, church, and state, contribute to the stress and constriction
experienced by gay and lesbian families

The Role of Research on Gay Parenting

Despite social and legal obstacles, lesbians and gay men have often succeeded in creating and sustaining meaningful family and parental relationships. An American Psychological Association review of extensive research evidence dating back 40 years found that there appears to be no disadvantage rendered to children raised by gays and lesbians, and instead may result in several distinctive enhancements. For example, children of lesbian or gay parents showed increased empathy and tolerance for differences.

Research on gay parenting has been in the forefront of the process of dismantling mistaken
assumptions, both legal and cultural, facing gay parents, that have been expressed in judicial opinions, legislative initiatives, or public policies relevant to lesbian and gay parents and their children. Thus, many studies have been conducted to evaluate the accuracy of negative expectations about lesbian and gay parents or about their children.

GLBT Family Diversity

One important distinction in LGBT families is between families in which children were born or adopted in the context of heterosexual marriages that later dissolved when one or both parents came out as gay or lesbian, relative to those in which children were born or adopted after parents had affirmed their sexual identities. Families of the first type have undergone the tensions and reorganizations characteristic of parental divorce and separation, whereas families of the second type have not necessarily experienced these transitions.

Apart from the ethnic, religious, economic, and other forms of diversity that characterize other families, additional forms and variety of parenting options exist within the construction of gay and lesbian families. For instance, a lesbian couple and a gay couple may agree to conceive children together and raise them jointly. Variants on this kind of arrangement might involve a gay couple and a single lesbian, or a lesbian couple and a single gay man. Large extended family systems of biologically unrelated adults and their children is also possible.

Gay Fathers

In her study of fathers, Gillian Dunne, senior research fellow at the Gender Institute of the London School of Economics, found that gay dads tended to be more compassionate toward their kids and were "interested in extending their masculine identity to embrace nurturing qualities." Gay fathers also organized around commitment to children, with 25 percent of those surveyed working less than 30 hours a week in order to commit to parenting. Dunne believes that most men become fathers "without really giving it much thought. "But if a gay man has gone through all the trouble to think through and opt into fatherhood and overcome the obstacles, he is probably more likely to be actively involved in routine child care than other fathers."

Dunne also found that gay men were deeply involved in ways not limited to traditional fatherhood-donating sperm to women friends, usually lesbians; adopting; foster parenting; and enlisting a surrogate mother. "In Britain," said Dunne, "about 50 percent of divorced fathers lose contact with their children within a year of their divorce, whereas divorced gay men were still actively involved in their children's lives; many were actively co-parenting or were main (caretakers)." Friendships maintained with ex-spouses, she said, paves the way for gay fathers-who Dunne says tended to be "egalitarian type of men" when they were married"-to continue being actively involved in caring for their children.

The process of coming out, Dunne said, seems to make gay fathers more willing to challenge
traditional gender roles and masculine stereotypes and "less frightened of the human qualities of
nurturing and empathy and sensitivity." Almost unanimously, Dunne reported, the gay fathers in her
study felt that "children had much to gain from growing up with a gay dad," with a major benefit being
tolerance.

Impact of Gay Parenting on Children

Research studies on children in gay or lesbian households unanimously assert that the sexual
orientation of moms or dads has no impact on their kids' sexuality, gender identity, or any other aspect
of their psychological and emotional development. Not surprisingly, a recent paper published in the
American Sociological Review finds that while the emotional and mental health of youngsters with
heterosexual or gay parents is essentially the same, the offspring of lesbians and gays are more likely
to accept non-traditional gender roles and are more tolerant of same-sex relationships. Teenage boys
were more sexually restrained than peers from heterosexual households and were likely to be more
nurturing and affectionate than their counterparts in heterosexual families. Daughters of lesbians were
more likely to not conform to sex-typed roles, showing greater interest in activities and occupations that are not traditionally female.

Children of gays and lesbians also formed friendship bonds with their peers as easily as kids of
heterosexuals, despite the harassment and teasing they were subjected to. Daughters of lesbians
tended to have higher self-esteem, and sons were more caring and less aggressive relative to peers
from heterosexual households. A 1994 study conducted by Charlotte Patterson revealed that children of lesbians exhibited "a greater overall sense of well-being" than kids of heterosexuals, perhaps because their moms forced fewer "sex-typed" preferences upon them.

Indeed most problems that daughters and sons of lesbian, gay, and bisexual parents are said to have,
actually stem from going through a divorce, and not from parents' sexual orientation. There is no
evidence that these children face any more difficulties socializing in school than children of straight
parents. Gay children are exposed to more people of the opposite sex than many kids of straight
parents and, there is no evidence to suggest that this is harmful. Accordingly, if these children identify
as lesbian, gay, or bisexual, they are likely to be much better off than lesbian, gay and bisexual children of straight parents.

Moshe Rozdzial, PhD., is a licensed professional counselor (LPC) in private practice in Denver, Colorado (http://www.glowcounseling.com). He is a certified sex therapist, addiction interventionist, and trauma counselor. Moshe is a trainer and presenter on issues of diversity, multiculturalism, social justice, gender identity, sexual orientation, men's issues, and sexuality. He is also the national co-chair of NOMAS (http://www.nomas.org), the National Organization for Men Against Sexism, the oldest pro-feminist men's movement in the USA.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Moshe_Rozdzial

Can Dogs Be Gay?

2012-07-08T06:07:00.003-07:00

The question, whether dogs can be gay, first entered my mind years ago, when I saw my dog exhibiting distinctly gay behavior. I know dogs mount other dogs for reasons of dominance-it wasn't that, it was more a sense that there was something else going on. Not that my dog was immune to a female it heat; that is a call to nature that has the pull equal to the strength of an atomic bomb. But there were times where distinctly homosexual behavior seemed to be occurring. Then I thought that maybe my dog was Bi... LOL... well why not? In the realm of animal behavior which exhibits a wide assortment of mating behavior; from mating for life, to devouring their lovers after the fact, to being able to reproduce entirely by themselves; why not homosexual or bisexual behavior in dogs or any other species?

I am not homosexual myself so I am not trying to persuade or dissuade anyone by asking this question. I just find it a compelling query. I have over the years discussed this with other dog owners, now and again, and all unanimously said that they did not think it out of the realm of possibilities or stated that they either suspected their dog of having gay tendencies to being out right homosexual.

A few years after first contemplating this possibility I heard an interview on CBC with Anna Innis Dagg, a zoologist who pioneered Giraffe studies. She had observed and reported on homosexual behavior among Giraffes; this was in the 50s when this was not an openly discussed topic. So I found her observations and deductions compelling. There have since been other zoologists studying a number of different species that reported similar findings.

So my question remains; why should dogs not possess homosexual or bisexual tendencies, to a greater or lesser degree, when the world is so full of such diversity that it boggles the mind? There are a staggering number of species in the world, each having their own unique set of characteristics; scientists and biologists haven't even come close to discovering or identifying them all. So what's to say that man has the last word on the nature of the sexual behavior of the members of the animal kingdom. Not to mention that the world is not black and white but infinite shades of grey.

I leave it to you to make up your own mind.

For more article by Gabriele relating to dog behavior and dog care visit

http://www.care4yourdog.info

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gabriele_Gottschlag

Top 10 Reasons to Legalize Gay Marriage

2012-07-08T06:07:00.000-07:00

Written by a straight man, this article highlights some of the best reasons to support legalizing gay marriage. Marriage is the key ingredient for a happiness and stability and this shouldn't be denied from gay persons. If America wants to call itself free there simply is no other option.

1. It's simply the right thing to do.

2. Gay parents have been proven to be just as good parents as straight parents. Also, there are countless children waiting to be adopted and gay persons in wedlock are more likely to have children.

3. Children that are raised by gay parents have no more chance of being gay children than any other child. This is a notorious lie that has been perpetuated by hate and the extreme conservative right-wing of American politics. Being gay results from nature, not nurture.

4. To support the troops. "Don't Ask Don't Tell" has been repealed but this doesn't alleviate stress caused by not allowing gay partners to marry. It's not good policy to let gay combatants fight for their country with the uncertainty they have for what might happen to their partner if they die while fighting.

5. To give survivors rights to gay couples. Currently gay partners are not able to fully exercise their right to handle the legal matters of their dying partner and cannot fully be there for them in their final years. This is an insult to humanity to deny gay persons of the dignity of having their most loved and trusted person in the world be there during their last days.

6. For economy stability. Not just for the tax credits that straight married people enjoy, but also for the stability of the American economy. Allowing gay people to get married would give a growing population increased spending power. The tax benefits and extension of credit with two incomes in a married relationship could increase spending in industries such as durable goods, home improvement, automobiles, childcare, services, event planning, the economic benefits are endless!

7. Gay people deserve happiness just as much as straight people. Happiness derives from the love and devotion that comes from marriage. While it's true that many gay people are happy with the arrangement they currently have. They have two incomes, successful careers, and if they don't have children they more have more disposable income, but they commonly still feel like something is missing.

8. To reduce depression in adolescents. Giving gay children the hope that they can get married some day and have children in a socially acceptable country will reduce depression among gay young people. Straight children are allowed this freedom and should be no surprise that many gay teenagers experience extreme depression.

9. To reduce gay bullying in schools. If we legalize gay marriage, there will be one less reason for gay children to get teased. They will be less reluctant to be ashamed of their personal preference and will have hope that they can be just as happy as their straight counterparts.

10. To help end the hate and intolerance of homosexuality in America. Just because America has a long history of prejudice that's no reason to keep perpetuating it. The unwelcoming fringes of our society seems to become accustomed to moving from alienating one demographic to another and the resistance to gay marriage is just another example of prejudice in America.

Learn more about supporting legalizing gay marriage and the growing social movement at:

http://defenseofgaymarriage.blogspot.com/

The Defense of Gay Marriage Act (DGMA) - Started in 2011 by the people supporting gay rights and human rights in America and throughout the world!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Justin_Mohs

Was Abraham Lincoln Gay?

2012-07-08T06:06:00.002-07:00

Abraham Lincoln is best known for winning the civil war, freeing slaves, being on pennies and five dollar bills, and he knows a thing or two about civil war battle history as well. Needless to say he was well versed in things like the Battle of Gettysburg and would be able to give anyone a summary of the Battle of Antietam. In recent years Lincoln has even been cast as a vampire killer in a series of novels. The thing most people don't know about the tall lanky man with the funny hat is that his sexuality has been a topic of debate and at the very least something gossipped about for over a century.

So, the question is, was Abraham Lincoln gay? Lincoln's sexual orientation has been a topic widely discussed because of rumors of things that can't be proven. There is a poem that is open to interpretation that has raised eyebrows. There's also a somewhat common figure of speech used by Abraham, actually a few of them that brought up questions. However, with no hard proof most people have to conclude that the fact that he dated a few women, got married and had children means that he's straight. It's pretty much impossible at this point to prove otherwise, unless some hidden secret papers were revealed but that sounds like a story out of a Dan Brown book or maybe even a National Treasure movie.

The girl he married was named Mary Todd and that lasted from 1842 until he died in 1865. They had four kids. One son named Gary had stated that the president's weird and bad relationships with women were the opposite to his relationships to several close men that he had in his life. Lincoln's son even said that those relationships Lincoln had with his male friends bordered on homosexual behavior but as the president's son he didn't have any actual proof. People who have since written biographies about Lincoln have noticed some of these same signs, while others are very confident that there is no evidence to support these statements. The people who back Lincoln being a straight man might actually be even subconsciously motivated by their own esteem for the man. A lot of people who are so into Lincoln (Lincoln was a Republican) that they devote years of their lives researching and writing about the man, typically don't want to turn up information that conflicts with their beliefs. This is just one theory to keep in mind. Another train of thought says, that these experts did the actual research so they do in fact know better than anyone else.

If you're curious and want to learn more about this then I suggest doing some searching on the internet to find more amusing information about President Abraham Lincoln's sexuality that you probably didn't know. Do your due diligence and make up your own mind.

The author is a big fan of civil war battle history and it was while reading a summary of the Battle of Antietam that he came across this information about Abraham Lincoln.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rick_Smits

Gay-Friendly Restaurants

2012-07-08T06:05:00.002-07:00

There's no such thing as a "gay" restaurant - no more than there are "straight" ones. Sexuality isn't really an issue when it comes to eating. There are gay-owned, gay-run or gay-friendly places to eat - no restaurant wants to alienate half its clientele! But to be certain of guaranteed open-mindedness, we suggest you check out one of these gay-friendly eateries. We present a list of some of the best places where you can go for a romantic meal, your first date, or a pre-club pig-out...

Cafe Goya, London

Gay owned and run by New Zealander Dennis, Cafe Goya has two West Indian chefs and a menu best described as cosmopolitan. This relaxed and attitude-free bar & grill has a moody ambience with cool, contemporary jazz by night. It's ideal for a romantic dinner, meeting friends for cocktails or brunch at the weekend while nursing your hangover. Cafe Goya is on three floors, with the restaurant housed in the ground floor and basement, while the top floor is reserved for private functions. Expect interesting meals with a slightly spicy edge. The bestseller is the #12.95 house steak. The first and third Wednesdays of each month play host to a very popular over 30s Dyke Night - so ring and check for table availability.

Wilde About Oscar at The Philbeach Hotel, London

This place is smart. Denim and/or spandex is not the right look. "Smart-casual is the dress code although we're not stuffy," says the manager Ian Reynolds. Expect the finest French cuisine in the plush, garden-themed restaurant which overlooks the garden of the adjoining hotel. The menu changes every three months and a 3-course meal for two will set you back #60-70! Definitely one for a special occasion, Wilde about Oscar is "probably the best gay restaurant in town" according to Time Out magazine. Transvestites should check out "Lipstick" - a weekly Monday dining club. It's a good idea to phone and make a reservation.

Manto Soho, London

Part of the successful group that helped put Manchester's Canal Street on the map, Manto looks like a trendy, hi-tech bar from the outside. Go upstairs to the restaurant and enjoy one of Polly's lethal Margueritas while you order from an extensive "global" menu. Pasta, salads, meat and fish dishes jostle to tempt your tastebuds in a chatty, relaxed atmosphere. Try the Classic Caesar salad or the Thai fish - nothing on the menu will leave you feeling bloated. Manto have a one-hour lunch menu at about #10.00 per head, while dinner will set you back #25 including drinks. The only complaint is that tables are really close to each other - but on the plus side this means you can chat up other diners without too much problem. Oh - and some of the waiters are really cute...

The Tin Drum, Brighton

In the heart of Brighton's "Gay Village", The Tin Drum couldn't help but be a very mixed place to eat. Open for breakfast through to dinner, this bar/restaurant/cafe attracts a chilled-out crowd throughout the day. The lunch menu offers zakushki - Polish bar snacks traditionally eaten with vodka or beer. Choose from gravadlax (salmon), roasted mixed peppers or delicious koftas (spicy ground beef with tomato and mustard seed relish). The dinner menu includes the very popular pork snitzel, fillets of black bream and the delicious ricotta and Roquefort ravioli. They have fresh specials every day and they do a great Sunday lunch.

Claremont Bar & Restaurant, Edinburgh

Popular gay-friendly restaurant with a science fiction theme. It serves great, home-made dishes at unbelievably reasonable prices. The menu is best described as eclectic, with everything from their famous steak pie and curry to liver and bacon. A starter and main course will only set you back about seven pounds! The restaurant is upstairs, open for business lunches and all day breakfasts. The bar hosts a very popular pub quiz every Wednesday with "huge prizes", according to the barman Kevin.

Lush, Manchester

It's not lush actually, it's quite minimalist. Designed to accommodate exhibitions as well as 200 diners, the specially designed chairs have been named after the restaurant and have gone on to sell in smart furniture outlets around the country. Julie the manageress describes the cuisine as "New English Fusion" - your guess is as good as ours. Favourite dishes include the crispy duck pizza with plum and hoisin sauce and the hot chocolate fudge fondue dessert. A fabulous Sunday lunch is available at #6.95 while dinner will set you back about #20 per head. It's advisable to book as Lush gets very busy.

More information about celebrities favourite restaurants in London.
Top vegetarian restaurants in Europe.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Roman_Russall_Michailovich

Online Dating Attracts the Gay Community

2012-07-08T06:04:00.002-07:00

As many gay singles looking for dating experiences know, conventional society can often be less than helpful when it comes to helping homosexuals find lasting relationships. Since intolerance and homophobia can still spring up even in modern society, those seeking soulmates in the same sex are trying to make things easier on themselves in terms of their love lives by turning to genuine platforms that facilitate gay dating.

Most would agree that this hardly does the gay community justice and may not be enough for gay men and women to really make any kind of headway in finding that Mr or Mrs Right. That is why there has been a recent advent of gay dating services that are more geared towards same-sex unions, which have helped many gay singles on the gay dating scene.

An obvious solution can be found in services that cater to those who are not part of the heterosexual dating scene, and hence are not lumped together and made to go through needless hoops because of their status as a minority group, at least from the perspective of many people in the dating world.

Because homophobia and prejudiced attitudes are still more common than many may think, gay dating options for singles may be harder to come by, at least when it comes to actually finding a soulmate of the same sex. This is changing as more and more people in the gay community start to collaborate on projects that can make gay dating easier. To avoid all of this judgment and negative attitudes, gay men and women may find success in breaking out of their comfort zone and trying something less conventional, at least from the conventional dating standpoint.

Since most, if not all users will identify as gay, it can reduce the needed profile searching by a massive amount, and just leave the precise specifications that each participant puts into the online system and then gives back results based on even narrower criteria. This is a new popular aspect of the Internet which allows higher- precision searches and matches, which works great for sites that cater to the needs of singles who are interested in gay dating. Because of the specific search and narrowing down the search its really helpful to the users. It is gaining momentum as more and more gay singles are looking out and reaching out to such sites over the internet for dating.

Gaysoulmate.com is a leading premier site for gay dating. Site specially designed for the gay singles. Visit and access thousands of profiles.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=James_Lawrie

Gay Marriage: Where Is It Legal?

2012-07-08T06:03:00.002-07:00

One of the most heated debates in America and even around the world right now is over the legalization of gay marriage. Over the past few years, states are starting to change their laws about recognizing same-sex unions, while other states are making same-sex marriage outright legal. Around the world, more and more countries are starting to loosen their laws recognizing same-sex unions, and a few countries have also legalized it. So where can gay couples get married? Here is a quick rundown where gay marriage is legal in both the United States and around the world.

Same-Sex Marriage in the U.S.

While the majority of states in the U.S. have laws in their constitutions banning gay couples from getting married, there are a few states where same-sex couples can register as domestic partners, and only 7 states where same-sex marriage is legal. Many states including Ohio, Texas, and Utah have amended their constitutions to language specific to claiming marriage in their states as between a man and a woman. States like Maine still have laws on the books that say that gay and lesbian marriages can't be performed there, but marriages that are performed in a state where it is legal are recognized. There are three states where same-sex couples can't get married but can register for domestic partnerships: Oregon, Nevada, and California (which is still going through complicated legal wrangling due to the recent overturning of Proposition 8, which banned gay marriage in that state). Currently 7 states have formally recognized same-sex marriage as legal: Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, and the District of Columbia. Washington's governor has recently signed off on making gay and lesbian marriage legal, but it is currently being challenged, and could change when the law would take effect.

Gay Marriage Around the World

Right now, there are 10 countries that recognize same-sex marriages as well as have laws making it legal to get married in those countries. Many of those countries are in Europe, but also include Canada and Argentina, as well as South Africa. Even more countries in Europe and South America recognize same sex and GLBT marriage and registered partnerships. Some jurisdictions in Australia and Mexico have allowed civil unions for same-sex couples to be performed, while others merely recognize partnerships registered in other countries. More and more countries are starting to at least recognize gay partnerships and civil unions in their law books in order to help gay couples recognize rights like estates and other legal partnership laws.

As same-sex couples in the U.S. and around the world begin to stand up for their rights to be legally recognized by their governments as a civil union or as a marriage, more and more countries are starting to change their laws to recognize and even make it legal to perform gay marriages. Will gay marriage become legal everywhere? Time will tell.

Manda Jamsey is a freelance writer with a passion for the idea that we can change democracy in America. She's been researching the law and legalities behind pro gay marriage issues and is excited to share what she's learned with you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Manda_L_Jamsey

Gay Men in Search of a Partner: Avoiding the Pitfalls of Cash, Connections, and C-K

2012-07-08T06:02:00.002-07:00

In my private practice in counseling and coaching gay men in West Hollywood, my clients who are single often mention a desire to find a permanent partner. This is only natural; most people (male/female/gay/straight) have an urge to find a partner/spouse to share life with, but this is by no means everyone - it's also OK to be single. But for those who want a partner, the process can be frustrating. I hear complaints of "where are the good men" and "it seems the best guys are taken." This is not necessarily true. Since I work with gay male couples as well, for over 20 years now, I have come to a few conclusions based on my couples work on what makes a happy relationship - and what doesn't. This comes from many years of observation of common problems and challenges in a couple, and what common elements strengthen the relationship and help it endure over time.

To that end, I wanted to share a few observations on what a client mentioned to me as "The Three C's". Now, I use another version of "The Three C's" in my work with couples - I call them Commitment, Communication and Compromise. I find that most problems in relationships are related to one of these. But my client was referring to gay men's dating with a different set of "Three C's". He called them the gay men's dating pitfalls of emphasizing "Cash, Connections, or C-k" (I'll abbreviate that last one for a certain "professional decorum", but you know what word I mean - think of another word for rooster).

Let's take each of those Three C's at a time. The first one - Cash - means that in dating, it is generally a mistake to put your number-one priority on how much money a guy earns. Sure, even your buddies might joke that they want to find a "rich boyfriend," and we see lots of examples of this. However, when we think about what sustains a relationship over time, like sharing common interests, spending free time together, and intimacy, how much money the guy has is often irrelevant. While it's true that a relationship with someone who is chronically unemployed by way of bad habits, or isn't mature enough to support himself, would be undesirable, it's not necessary that he be a wealthy man to have a happy relationship. When it comes to cash, make your own by developing your own career. Cultivate your education, skills, networking, and a body of work that speaks for itself. Build your own resume. Create a career that satisfies your ideal vision of your Professional Self (something I help many individual clients do in career coaching sessions). Have your own personal cash flow and your choice of partner be independent, separate variables. This will be very self-empowering for you to be able to choose any partner you want, regardless of having to rely on them for your support (which is dangerous for you if the relationship should ever end, leaving you without your own salary history and professional skill set in the aftermath).

The next "C" is about Connections. Too many gay men choose partners not because of their emotional and sexual attraction, but because of their "connections" to influential people and opportunities - and in Los Angeles, this often means to the entertainment industry, for young Hollywood Hopefuls, but it can also be in other fields. While I encourage my clients to identify and cultivate relationships with people who can be mentors in your chosen profession, including seeking out "informational interviews" with professionals whom you admire, I believe that your career connections and your choice of a domestic partner for a relationship should also be two independent variables. Imagine how you would feel if a person was only paying attention to you - especially romantically - for the job you had, or the status/position you held, or the people you knew who could help that person succeed professionally. You would, naturally, feel resentful and objectified, and want to be validated for yourself as a person, not just what's written on your business card. Well, the partners that you seek out would feel the same way. Keep your mentors and networking contacts separate from the man you love at home.

The last "C" is, well, the big one: "C-k". Or maybe it's not a "big one;" that's my point. When you're choosing your mate for theoretically a lifelong relationship, the "size" of your guy should actually be a fairly minor consideration. Far too many gay men who are seeking a lifetime of love and companionship (and, yes, sex) limit their social and sexual contacts to men who are particularly well-endowed. This isn't everyone - especially tops and even squeamish bottoms - but far too many guys place penis size above all - or at least most - other considerations of a man's suitability for a relationship. This is a mistake. If you do this, then the novelty of his endowment will eventually wear off and you'll be left with whatever remains. If the man of your dreams is less endowed than you would like, see if you can compromise on this. There is also the possibility of using larger toys to satisfy you, or negotiating an open relationship just for the purpose of occasional romps with Mr. Big (one couple I worked with did just that, and their problem was solved).

I've always said that a gay man's relationship must work on four levels: Emotionally, Physically, Domestically, and a fourth area that I call "Managing The Other" - which includes not letting exes, other gay men, roommates, intrusive parents, neighbors, or bosses undermine the commitment and quality of your relationship. And, yes, sexual satisfaction is part of making it work physically. But to put an emphasis on size above all other considerations for your potential partner confuses the issue on whether you really want a partner - or just a piece of one.

There are other considerations in gay men's relationships that need attention. For example, I also help couples and individuals with the issue of addictions in a relationship - whether it's alcoholism, sex addiction, workaholism, or some other substance/process addiction. But if you avoid over-emphasizing the "Three C's" as discussed above, your quest to find "Mr. Right" may be enhanced. And if you need additional guidance on how to maximize your chances of finding a suitable mate, consider booking some counseling or coaching sessions. These can be effective in shortening your search by getting to the heart of what's preventing it from happening for you now.

Ken Howard, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping gay men bridge the gap between how life is, and they would like it to be, in important areas of life such as health, mental health, career, family, and relationships, with offices in West Hollywood, California. Call 310-726-4357 or visit http://www.GayTherapyLA.com for additional information and other articles and audio products available for purchase.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ken_Howard

The Perfect Gay Honeymoon

2012-07-08T06:01:00.005-07:00

Since the Civil Partnership Bill for gays and lesbians becomes law on in UK many gay couples have decided to take the step and legalise their relationship. And we are not talking about celebrities but about the normal gay couples.

Out Now Consulting, the marketing agency with a team of specialised marketers with high levels of expertise in understanding gay and lesbian customers revealed that "a total of 274,000 couples in the UK are expected to quickly get hitched which means that gay honeymoons are going to be booming."

In spite of this new finding a report released at World Travel Market, the annual business to business exhibition that provides a unique opportunity for the whole global travel trade industry to meet, network, negotiate and conduct business, suggests that the travel trade is not taking the sector seriously. World Travel Market Special Report advises that the travel industry is failing to take the potential of gay honeymoons - despite more than 250,000 couples expected to get married.

Ian Johnson the director of Out Now Consulting stated that in spite that "there are nearly three million lesbians and gays in the UK and more than half of them are in committed relationships, the travel industry has to do much more if it is to capitalise on the new development with new products, new targeted marketing campaigns and more training for their staff."

The research made on 1,000 readers of Diva and Gay Times shows that the average age of respondents was between 25-44 and the average income of £28,481 with almost twenty per cent of them earning more than £40,000.

The description for the perfect gay honeymoon is romantic. The Romantic atmosphere implies all places where you can hold hands, coo at each other, and generally act like Doris Day and Rock Hudson. The romantic accommodation doesn't have to be a sumptuous suite (but it wouldn't hurt), but it does have to be comfortable, airy, stylish and excitingly different from your usual bedroom. Romantic dining could mean a candlelight dinner at a table for two, a dining room with a view, or a really good room service menu.

The most common locations for gay honeymoons are beach locations. Hawaii is a honeymoon paradise, and a gay paradise, as it came very close to allowing same-sex marriage licenses. Hawaii has many gay-specific accommodations of the small bed & breakfast variety and it also has many deluxe mainstream resorts, and mixing a stay of the two varieties offers you the best of all worlds. Not every couple is looking for a beach holiday, and while some cities are hard pressed to provide the kind of romance that a perfect gay honeymoon requires many offer a perfect mix of gourmet food, cool bars and plenty of sights, art and culture during the day such as Florence, Rome & Venice in Italy, Barcelona in Spain and Monte Carlo in Monaco.

Plenty of Indian Ocean destinations offer picture perfect beaches, turquoise oceans and ooze charm and romance. Whilst couples that have got married after a very long engagement may look to Morocco, South Africa, or closer to home Italy, Spain and Greece since they offer lots of diversions and activities, and the ideal setting to rekindle romance.

Entrepreneur, Author jack of all, master of none. I love Niche Article marketing as a more direct approach to Niche Marketing, I can be found on http://gaytymes.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Mike_Ellis

Being Gay Is Not A Choice, But How You Live Is

2012-07-08T06:01:00.002-07:00

Most gays and lesbians would probably say something like this: Life is hard enough, why would we add more difficulties to our lives by choosing to be gay. We were born this way.

Even though we do not have a choice whether we are gay or not, we do have choices on how we orchestrate our lives. We choose our friends, partners, children, careers, residence, religion, fashion, cars, jewelry, and all the other stuff just like the general population. However, lesbians and gays do have some additional unique choices to make such as: when we come out, if we come out, who we come out to, being selectively out, living a dual life, or living openly out.

Why is discussing choices so important? Choices are what we have in our control. The decisions made are our own. Even when we do not decide, we are actually making a decision. There are very few instances that justify being a martyr.

Many gays and lesbians hold themselves hostage in the closet. The fear of being found out and the anxiety about the possible ramifications associated with being OUTED result in a self-imposed paralysis. They made the choice to hold themselves hostage; no one else caused this. The same goes for being selectively out and living a dual life (hidden at work and out socially). Once again, assumptions, fears and anxieties influence the decisions made.

Discontent and dissatisfaction have been the driving forces for many changes and inventions! If gays and lesbians are unhappy with the way their lives are arranged, they have the power to do something about it. They do not have to remain dissatisfied and unhappy. Making decisions to live confidently out may not be easily accomplished, but the results could be very liberating.

For instance, take a realistic situation concerning friends and family. If a gay or lesbian fears rejection by friends and family for being gay, realize that if this is true, then this is an impossible condition to change. Being gay cannot be changed by guilt. What happens next?

Although we do not have the choice of selecting our family, the amount of time spent with them is our decision. For many families, it just takes time for them to get used to the fact that they have a family member who is gay. Once they realize that the same funky person that they have always known has not changed because of being gay, the awkwardness subsides.

As for friends, it hurts to be rejected by them. If they cannot love us as we are, then this prejudicial information is good to know. Just like anybody else, gays do not want to be only tolerated by friends, but rather loved and accepted. For emotional and psychological reasons, it is healthier to seek out new friends who are compatible, supportive and positively fun.

Ideally, choices are made to better our situations and lives. If you are feeling disjointed or exhausted by living a delicately balanced life, then pay attention to your internal symphony. It may be telling you to make a healthy decision about coming out to significant people. Coming Out may be not be as scary as you think.

The choices you make will either allow you to embrace being gay or to punish yourself. You are orchestrating your life by making these key decisions. Since you do not have the choice about being gay, why not make choices that enable you to live your life to its fullest potential. Stop scaring yourself and learn to live confidently gay.

Gayl Newton is a Living OUT Mentor who works with gays and lesbians on embracing who they are so they can live Confidently OUT. For more articles and coaching information, plus to receive a copy of her new ebook, "Stepping OUT" go to http://www.confidentlyout.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gayl_M_Newton

Gay Marriage - What's It All About And Why Is It Still Controversial?

2012-07-08T06:00:00.002-07:00

Gay marriage is still, at the time of writing, unlawful in 44 out of 50 states within the U.S.A. No matter how deep a gay couple's love may be for one another and irrespective of how long they've been partners, the privileges and safeguards connected with marriage are sadly stubbornly denied to gay partners. Regardless of how unjust the opinion is believed by some to be, heterosexuality is still championed for being more valued than homosexuality in American modern society, also in general it usually is considered by the majority as a more normal lifestyle.

The Campaign For Lesbian And Gay Rights Still Stays Uncertain

The campaign for Gay rights still remains uncertain but it will be tough going to win the approval of the hearts and minds of average American citizens. The aim should be to encourage people that marriage should really be accessible to all committed men and women irrespective of their sexual orientation as a human right.

Men And Women Are In Favour Of Gay Rights

If you ask a lot of people they will say they are in preference of identical rights for homosexuals, they'll tell you it's fair gays ought to have identical rights concerning housing, careers and public appointments, they ought to also have equal protection within the law along with all others.

Why Is Same Sex Marriage Still Not legal?

Exactly why after all the talk of equal rights is gay marriage still viewed as a non starter by many? About 70% of men and women within the U.S say they are in opposition to lesbian and gay marriage, likewise around 70% of the population voice support for gay and lesbian rights, so it would appear many people who're in preference of gay rights simultaneously and curiously oppose same sex marriage. And so with what seems such a contradiction in mind precisely how did this arise?

Ignorance Stems From Misunderstanding Of What Being Gay Means

It's already been suggested there is a lot of prejudice coming from a misunderstanding over what living as a gay is actually like for gay people, this and the countless peculiar stereotypes about gay relationships are likely to give non homosexual people untested distorted views as well. Possibly even a significant misunderstanding of marriage itself is also to blame, and then we need to address a few of the misconceptions and details with regards to gay relationships and marriage; gay along with straight. Here would seem a good place to talk over a little more just what homosexual relationships are really all about in an effort to demonstrate how superficial and false the stereotypes can be. All the stereotypes have lead individuals to believe gays are promiscuous and unable to form lasting relationships also that the relationships they form are generally superficial and uncommitted.

Some gays it should be said can be like this!

The Truth About Homosexuality Seriously Isn't Clear Cut

However, the reality is not so very clear cut, just as in straight society where uncommitted relationships also exist, they have a tendency to be in the minority existing mostly among the younger age ranges. More mature gay people sometimes complain that it's actually extremely hard to discover good quality single partners to create a relationship with, because they're already 'taken'!

Gays And Lesbians Appreciate Committed Relationships Too!

The actual values gay couples express in day to day life are almost identical to those of their straight neighbours. They are faithful to their partners and are also monogamous committed partners. They work hard, get involved in household life, commit themselves to making their neighborhoods safer better places to reside in and abide by the law. Many are public spirited and make important contributions in their neighborhoods, by serving on school boards, helping out in community charities, and wish to be excellent citizens. In behaving like this they take a satisfaction in their relationships along with partners, their neighbours and surrounding members of the neighborhood.

How Come So Many Opposed To Same Sex Marriage?

When taking into consideration the great things about same sex marriage, exactly why are there plenty of people still very opposed to it? Well amongst a number of the arguments presented for opposing gay and lesbian marriage may be the assumption that gays have a choice in who they're capable to feel attracted to. Many men and women really feel that gays could decide to be heterosexual if they wanted to be. Nevertheless, the reality of the matter is very few gay people have a choice any more than just a very few heterosexuals could select which sex to feel attracted to. Also, there are lots of people who continue to believe homosexuality is completely all about sex, and consider it as being much more of a sexual perversion.

Homosexuality Is Multidimensional

The reality is that homosexuality is actually multidimensional and altogether more to do with love and closeness than it is about sex. This really is what all gay relationships and gay marriage survives on; mutual attraction, love and affection. Sex can surely often be a method of showing that affection, the same as it can be for heterosexuals. Being gay and lesbian is substantially more profound than merely a sexual relationship; remember that being gay is located at the centre of a person's central identity.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Richard_Mabe

"Fake" Gay: A Coming Out Story

2012-07-08T05:59:00.002-07:00

Geoff Pullum, a statistician reported that "The genius of English is the way it updates itself every day, with 20,000 new words a year". Amazing the power of a creative mind, yet so often people use language in a cruel and unusual way. Words most definitely can be as painful as receiving a physical beating; I cannot count how many times I felt bruised from the inside out, from words said to me.

Recently, someone I loved for almost half my life said to me that I was a "fake gay", a fraud, a "disgrace and disgusting person". She explained in depth and without remorse that individuals that come out later in life or do not say anything prior to entering adolescences cannot claim themselves as being gay.

Apparently, for those of us who were able to verbalize our sexuality as a teenager are much more believable as being gay, and therefore have no choice but be that way. The rest of us, well we choose to be gay either because we hate men, have been abused or have pedophile tendencies (yes, sadly I was told that this is why I am gay!).

Now I know that none of this is true, and I am secure enough in my identity that all this crap means very little to me; however, it still hurts. Mostly because if this was said to me earlier on in my coming out, I may have gone into a major depression, and isolated confused and hurt. But also, because I realized that as much as you love someone and live to your truest intentions, people's ignorance and hatred for what is different will come out, sometimes with a new and degrading label.

"Fake" a term used to describe when something is not real or that it is false. It's true a lot of people were shocked when I came out, as usual I did it in the most awkward and social questionable way. I am not a very eloquent person; in fact, I am the complete opposite when it comes to social situations and people. I began saying things, which suggested that I was in a relationship with a woman, and I sent a mass email out (which I do not suggest in hindsight). So people were shocked, and yes they had questions and doubts.

All I knew for the first time in my life was that I felt free or happy for the first time. All of the energy I had spent reading social cues, doing what was expected, feeling lost, and absolutely confused and avoidant of others had ended. I tried to explain to people that for some individuals the answers are not within our reach, and that coming out is a process. There are things that went on in my head in childhood and adolescences, thoughts and fantasies, which no one could have ever imagined. After all, who are you going to tell when you're in a relationship with a boy, but looking at their sister wondering what it would be like to hold her hand or the "strange" feelings you have for our best friend.

I lost my virginity to a girl when I was still a young teen. I told my mom, who eased my sexual confusion by telling me I was simply experimenting and it was normal. But the next person to ever hear about it again was six years later, when I was drunk. For six years I held that secret inside, I could not tell anyone. I was told that homosexuals all had AIDS, and go straight to hell. I was not about to have my world, my friends think that of me.

Coming out is something that never ends, we are constantly evolving and having to come to an understanding of who we were; what we have become; and where we want to be. I have made many, really millions of mistakes along the way, but my intentions were to live honestly and openly with what I felt inside. Unfortunately, I was not always able to clearly express that to others- I think that makes people feel betrayed because they wonder what was happening in those moments, when we were so quiet.

I do not hate men, I never have, I have never been sexually assaulted, nor do I have any feeling or thoughts of an inappropriate age group of individuals. I am simply a woman who dated men, had a child, and through that journey had a weight on my shoulder I could not explain- had no model to compare it too- and found someone who brought light into a very dark place, and she happened to be a woman.

The intensity of the love that I have with women is not comparable to which I have had with men. I am not dismissing those relationships because I did love them- it is just not the same. I could not imagine not having or being forbidden to have that connection with another woman- it's magical. I am not about to erase my past, it's my past, and the people who were there that made me who I am today- I very open, happy, determine, and still a socially awkward person. I am grateful for my past connections, I was given so much.

Being labeled a "fake" gay has forced me to realize that coming out can hurt our social surroundings, our people, just as much as it is painful for us. I am sure that they are female friends of mine who wonder if I ever looked at them sexually, had any secret crushes, and men who feel betrayed and played. I do not blame them; I would wonder the same things, with the same amount of betrayal. There is just no right procedure to find out who you are Gay, Bi, Trans, or Straight; it's a murky messy journey for all of us.

My only hope is that with the world changing, and our endless attempts to educate others on the difficulties and challenges of coming out, more people will feel safe and find answers without the struggles and betrayal experienced by so many others. Making the world safe for LBTQ people means fewer roads need to be paved with pain, for all of us.

I am a Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer on SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where LGBTs can find one another, learn from each other, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest in discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://TheLesbianGuru.com! Are just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alex_Karydi

I've Resolved the Gay Marriage Dilemma

2012-07-08T05:58:00.002-07:00

First let me say I'm not personally invested in the issue, being neither gay nor married. But having been blessed with a wide range of super-powers, I've feel it's my duty to come to the aid of my fellow human beings in their hour of need.

Not long ago, when class warfare broke out between the job creators and the working poor over taxes, I took a momentary break from being one of America's favorite authors and worked out a solution, then forwarded it to New York Senator Charles Schumer via e-mail.

Although I received no thanks, recognition or parade in my honor, several weeks later President Obama brought up a proposal virtually identical to mine before Congress.

I still think a parade would have been nice.

So anyway, with this gay marriage issue polarizing this country, I've come up with a plan to fix it.

So here we go.

The issue is that the gay community wants to marry in the same manner as heterosexual couples and receive all the advantages and disadvantages that go with it.

Seems like a reasonable request.

However, the fact that more than 50% of all marriages end in divorce is like demanding the right to fly on an airline that crashes and burns every other time it take to the air. So it's obvious the problem has nothing to do with the sex of the people wanting to marry, it's with the institution itself.

What's wrong with marriage?

Everything.

Since time began marriage has been a religious ceremony. That's right, RELIGIOUS. Which means the state has no legal right to perform the service as it is a clear violation of the separation of church and state.

Second, modern day divorce laws are outdated, misogynistic, and seriously biased based on gender specific profiles that never had any scientific evidence to support them For example, women are almost automatically awarded custody of the children, yet there is no proof whatsoever that women are better able to raise children than men. Alimony was created to keep the ex-wife, (who, in the old days, was rarely educated or taught marketable skills) from starving and becoming homeless. Today more women graduate from medical school than men. Also needing to be scrapped is the old 'maintaining a life style to which one has become accustomed.'

Seriously?

Ever lose a high paying job and were unable to secure another with the same perks and pay scale? Was your former employer under any obligation to continue paying you that high salary until you got a new job? Ask any person over 40 working a fast food joint about that, odds are they'll have a tale that will send chills down your spine.

What we need to do is scrap the entire process and start from scratch.

Here's how it should be done.

The state discontinues performing marriages. Instead offers only co-habitation contracts to all couples, regardless of gender, wanting the advantages the former marriage agreement provided.

In those contracts, specific terms, conditions and personal responsibilities are laid out beforehand. Additions or subtractions could be inserted (similar to a pre-nup) according to the couples wishes. Then once the terms are agreed upon the co-hab contract would be registered with the state in the same manner former marriages were. At that point the couple would be allowed to check the 'Married" box on any legal form, tax form or job application and received the same benefits awarded to any religiously married couple. (Those who opt to be married in a religious ceremony would also have to apply for and receive a state approved co-habitation contract before being awarded that legal privilege.)

This way marriage gets redefined as a legal arrangement that provides the same benefits to all involved.

Seriously, a guy wearing a pointy hat, yarmulke or turban telling you in a loosely worded ceremony that you are now joined in matrimony dies not a legally binding agreement make.

Going this route solves two problems. One, everyone gets equal treatment under the law and race, gender, religion are no longer factors. Two, any religious institution willing to marry same sex couples could do so and those whose religious tenets prohibit it would be exempt without penalty.

This could be easily adopted by all 50 states, streamline the rights of all co-habituating couples and jettison the religious aspect without changing or involving the state in any of their rules and regulations. In fact, this process could easily be adopted by the entire world!

And if it is, well... All I can say is that there damn well better be a Zackary Richards float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade that year!

You can read my more at my blog at http://zackaryrichards.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Zackary_Richards

The Basics of Gay Dating

2012-07-08T05:56:00.000-07:00

As someone who's had some practice in the game of dating, you might feel that you will not need any kind of relationship advice. Whether you are straight, gay or bi, you will still have to take heed of words of wisdom concerning dating. it is a complex situation that can go either way. You might find yourself a bit stumped on what to do, much like any other individual, when you are out on a date with a good looking guy and you're simply wondering what to do to make a good impression. In spite of this, there's no have to put any huge stress on yourself. As a matter of fact, you can just relax and breathe easy, seeing as the following tips below should help you out:

- Always bear in mind that being you is a good thing. Many people often make the conclusion that trying to be someone you are not will make a great impression on others. However, you are just lying to yourself. You don't have to make up stories about your so-called achievements. This proves to be a pretty unattractive trait that'll simply get you nowhere with your date. The whole point of dating is for you and him to get to know each other a little better. Thus, it definitely helps to be a real individual, considering that you would like to develop a lot of respect between the both of you.

- Bear in mind that this is a date, and there must be a chat going in between certain activities. You wish to know more with him, therefore you need to ask him some questions. Do make sure that you actually listen to everything he's saying. The last thing any person would want is someone who's essentially a blank slate. Of course, this does not mean that you are just going to keep on listening for the whole duration of the date. As a matter of fact, this is your opportunity to tell more with yourself. Naturally, in relation to the tip mentioned above, be as authentic as possible. Both of you'll surely have several fun making efforts to get to know one another.

- And now for the golden rule: when engaged in gay dating, always keep in mind that you would like to treat him the way you yourself would want to be treated. Don't be rude. Be on time. Call him if you're going to be late.

Bernard Y invites you to www.freedating411.com, dedicated to sharing useful information on relationships and everything under the sun concerning one's dating and love life.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bernard_Y

Importance of Estate Planning for the Gay and Lesbian Communities

2011-12-15T18:16:00.001-08:00

Couples in traditional marriages have it easy. Although they should have Wills and Powers of Attorney, the law is written to protect their rights. However, the Gay and Lesbian community does not have such protections in states that do not recognize homosexual marriage. The good news is that with a few legal documents, the gay and lesbian community can solidify their legal rights.

The first document that people in committed homosexual relationships should have is a Will. Traditional married couples are protected by the law in that without a Will, the law assumes that when one spouse dies, in most cases the other spouse will inherit all of the deceased spouse's property. (This is not always the case, so be sure to consult a lawyer to understand the laws of your state.) However, states that do not recognize homosexual marriage will not have any protections. When one partner dies, the other partner would have no legal claim to any of the deceased partner's property. However, if each partner writes a Will and specifies that the property should go to the other partner (or however you would like your property divided), the courts will divide property as your Will states, assuming the will is fully and legally executed.

Another important legal document for homosexual couples in committed relationships are Powers of Attorney. Couples in a traditional marriage are generally protected by state laws because courts generally allow one spouse to make medical or financial decisions for the other spouse if he or she is incapacitated and cannot make decisions by himself or herself. Unfortunately, people in homosexual relationships do not have such protection. In fact, sometimes one partner will not even be able to visit the other partner in the hospital during "family only" visiting hours. If, however, you have a medical Power of Attorney stating that your partner has authority to make medical decisions for you in the event that you are incapacitated, the law will recognize such decision-making authority. The medical Power of Attorney is also likely enough to allow one partner to visit the other during "family visitation hours." While I am on the topic of medical Powers of Attorney, you should also have a HIPAA Release Authorization. This will authorize your partner to have access to important medical information which is especially important if you are incapacitated and he or she needs to make medical decisions for you.

Similar to medical Powers of Attorney, a Durable or Statutory Power of Attorney is also important. This will allow the authorized person to pay your bills, access your bank accounts, and make other financial decisions for you in the event of your incapacity. If you are unable to do these things for yourself, it is important that someone you trust has the ability to pay your bills for you.

Finally, everyone should have a Living Will. a Living Will is a document which states your wishes related to life support in the event that you have a terminal illness or injury. You should keep a copy of your Living Will in your medical records at your doctor's office.

The documents described in this article are important for everyone to have, but especially people in committed homosexual relationships. They simply solidify your legal rights and ensure your wishes and desires are known. Having the documents will prevent expensive legal battles among your family and loved ones. It s also important to update the documents as your life changes. Be sure that the people named as authorized agents are people you trust to make the important decisions under stressful conditions. It is always better to be prepared early because you never know what is going to happen in the future.

Jonathan Geserick MBA, JD is a recognized expert in Wills, Estate Planning, and Probate. He is currently a licensed attorney in Texas. His website is a leading provider of professional Texas Wills and other estate planning documents.

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South Africa Travel Tips For the Gay Traveler

2011-12-15T18:15:00.001-08:00

South Africa was a gay travel destination long before it became the first country in the world with a constitution outlawing discrimination based on sexual orientation and the fifth country to legalize same-sex marriage. With the fall of apartheid and these two historic gay rights events, the allure of here has increased substantially among both straight and gay travelers. From the glorious beaches of the Western Cape to the fast-paced excitement of Gauteng, South Africa is the gay-friendliest country on the continent and is an ideal location for a gay vacation.

Cape Town, Johannesburg and Pretoria are popular stops during gay vacations and each offers a variety of gay-friendly and gay-centered activities, establishments and events. Gay men who enjoy the scene will be particularly pleased with the vast array of establishments that cater exclusively to gay men, such as luxury guest houses that provide lodgings exclusively to gay men, the famous bathhouses found in Cape Town and the private, all-male nude bar, Camp David, in Pretoria. Gay culture in South Africa revolves largely around the gay male community; however family travelers and lesbians will also find a plethora of exciting opportunities for gay vacations in this country that is rich in history, culture and beautiful landscapes, including several organized tours that are gay-friendly or cater specifically to the gay and lesbian community.

September is gay pride month in South Africa, making this a great time to visit for gay men and lesbians looking for a gay vacation that includes pride celebrations and a variety of other events, such as the Out in Africa South African Gay & Lesbian Film Festival, which takes place in both Johannesburg and Cape Town and draws over 16,000 international attendees. Cape Town is also the home of the annual Mother City Queer Project costume party that brings over 10,000 international visitors to South Africa each December. Of course, Cape Town is also home to Clifton's Third Beach and nearby Sandy Bay nudist beach, both of which are extremely popular hangouts for gay men, and also has a gay village offering many gay-owned and gay-friendly establishments in Green Point. Picking up a copy of local gay publications like Exit and Outright will keep travelers up on what is going on during their stay and provide additional information about the best places to hang out or grab a bite to eat in a gay-friendly restaurant.

No gay vacation to South Africa would be complete without experiencing authentic South African cuisine and taking the opportunity to dine in some of South Africa's many welcoming restaurants. When visiting Johannesburg, travelers will not want to miss Bellgables Country Restaurant offering delicious meals in a renovated farmhouse sitting on 21 acres of farmland. In Cape Town there are many dining options, including Lola's, a gay-owned vegetarian restaurant, and Emily's an award winning fine dining restaurant featuring South African cuisine, a wine bar and a beer bar.

To ensure a great gay travel experience in South Africa, enlist the assistance of a professional travel agency when planning your trip. Travel agents that regularly organize gay vacations to South Africa will have up-to-date information about the best places to stay, eat and play, as well as safety tips for exploring in areas that may not be as accepting.

Howie Holben wrote this article on gay travel in South Africa. He travels the world and runs Spirit Journeys, a spiritually based gay travel firm. Gay vacations with Spirit Journeys are special.

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The Benefits Of Gay Chat Lines

2011-12-15T18:14:00.001-08:00

Thanks to modern technology, it has never been easier for homosexuals within the UK to meet new friends and acquaintances. Within the past few years, society has become less obtuse in regards to the social and personal lives of gay people, welcoming a wider range of dating services that cater specifically for the needs of young gay people. If you are single within the UK and are looking to meet a new potential mate, then registering with a gay chat line could be ideal for you.

Gay chat lines and online dating sites have become increasingly popular of late, providing single guys with a number of ways in which to meet new people. The main benefit of utilizing gay chat lines and sites is that you can meet hundreds of singles from across the country-not just from your local area. Not only can you increase your chances of meeting a new mate, but you can also make a number of new friends along the way. It can become increasingly tiresome relying on traditional methods of meeting new people, such as scoping out the local bars and if you fear rejection, this can cause you to shy away from attempting to strike up a conversation with someone you like in a face-to-face manner.

The beauty of gay chat lines is that you can be connected to all sorts of people who suit your set requirements. So, if you're looking for friendship, causal dating, a long term relationship, something more explicit or you simply wish to test the waters of gay chat lines; you are guaranteed to find someone who is looking for the same thing as you. Gay chat lines are just another aspect of dating and communication that have stemmed from modern technology. By combining the use of the web with your mobile or landline, you can chat and ultimately, meet hundreds of new men from the comfort of your own home. Gone is the worry of your appearance, what to wear and how to act as you can relax and chat away. In the event the conversation isn't going how you would like, you can simply end the conversation and search for a new potential connection. By browsing through the listings of members for your chosen gay chat line, you can get a grasp of each member's likes, dislikes, requirements and you may even get to catch a glimpse of what they look like! If you are looking to date or start a relationship, this can help you save valuable time and get you right back on that dating horse in quick speed!

In today's sometimes fickle world of dating, turning to gay chat lines can relieve some of the drama we can face from the field of dating. Opting to meet new people in a face-to-face scenario can often be successful but should you come home alone or without a simple smile from a cute guy, you can often be felt feeling somewhat disheartened. By looking into gay chat lines, you can learn all you would want to know about a potential partner before the sometimes nerve-wracking first time date. Knowing the sound of his voice, how he laughs and what he looks for in a man can be a great way to settle the nerves or simply enjoy a nice, relaxing night at home chatting to some of the gorgeous men who are joining gay chat lines today!

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ollie_Shaw