Bitch Cakes: A Neurotic Glamour Girl's Weight Watchers Experience and Fitness Adventures

Weekly Meeting Topic: Strategies for Staying Motivated through the Holidays

2009-11-03T21:05:00.003-05:00

While it's true that the 'big holiday season' will soon be upon us, it's obviously important to be motivated all the time. So while the holidays may present an extra challenge, keep these things in mind year round because they always apply:

1- Set realistic goals. This is so important because if you set unrealistic goals, you set yourself up to be disappointed, and that often leads to quitting. This is why my weekly goals are never number related. They're activity and behavior related - because those are things that are completely within my control. I like to remind you as often as possible that other than your final weight goal, do not focus on weekly weight goals. You CANNOT control the scale. Focus on your behaviors. You CAN control those, and reaching those goals is completely attainable and so personally satisfying. In time, those behaviors will make a difference that you see on the scale. (My leader said something great tonight regarding the number on the scale - she said be LOGICAL and not EMOTIONAL about that number. Kudos, Karen!)

2- Keep it in perspective. If you do something you are less than proud of, or that you didn't intend to do, don't beat yourself down with negative self talking. Stop and think about the situation, think about how you would have reacted in that situation *before* your journey, think about the incident in the scheme of your whole day or whole week; keep it in perspective and you will likely realize it is insignificant. But the trick is to recognize all of that as soon as possible, put it behind you and move on making healthy choices again.

3- Continue Tracking. Great advice for everyday and this can definitely help keep you on track during the holidays!

4- Attend Weekly Meetings (or whatever you rely on for support - friends, blogs, etc). I have said this before too - I know meetings are not for everyone, but I love them. I know I would not have been this successful without them and I genuinely look forward to them. In the 3+ years I have been going to WW now continuously, I've missed very few meetings.

5- Be Patient. Remember that you didn't gain the weight overnight and you didn't develop terrible habits overnight, so you are not going to lose it overnight or undo all of those habits that quickly. It's not a race. Give yourself time to change.

6- Remind yourself of your motivations daily. I love this idea. I think it's so important to remember all the reasons why you want to lose weight and get healthier. You might be motivated by your old clothing you outgrew, or a specific event, or to be able to do something physical you haven't done in a while. At this point in my journey, I am motivated by the idea of being healthier, stronger, faster and yes, looking great :)

Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

Unfortunately not much. I was sick for most of last week and still tend to throw a pity party for myself and treat myself with food when I'm in that condition. I realize I'm doing it, and I psychologically I know why, but I still do it - I know my body wants to feel "good" so it looks for pleasurable foods to make me feel "good", even though that's not the "good" I want to feel. All I wanted was to feel well and I'm so thankful I finally do!

I managed to not eat a single piece of Halloween Candy. Granted, since cutting out artificial ingredients earlier this year and being on my way to Vegan, it rules a lot of candy out but this is still such a huge accomplishment for me considering what a significant role candy played in my life and in me getting to 208 pounds.
I purchased the Wii Fit Plus! Thank you all so much for your help with that! (Especially Screw Destiny. You are a patient woman!) It has not arrived yet, but I'm looking forward to it!
And tonight, with a rebate I received from my contact lenses, I treated myself to a gorgeous new pair of Nike + sneakers which are great for running *and* will work with my iPod!

What do I want to work towards next week?

I will get back on track food wise and journal again - at least 4 days.
TWIET (Tweet What I Eat Tuesday!)
Set up and RUN in my new sneakers (I can hardly wait!)
Incorporate more iron rich green leafy vegetables (I tried to give blood last night but my hemoglobin was just shy of the 12.5 minimum again. It was 12.4!)
Starting on Monday, get back to the gym with William (we haven't been there in two weeks due to work being crazy and me being sick). We will go Mon, Thurs & Fri.
As for the rest of my workouts, I want to get back on track with them too: Tuesday I will do the stairs, Weds is Punk Rope, Sat is Total Body Conditioning and Pilates.
I will make an appointment with my general doctor for a physical. I want to get all my blood work done. It's been over 2 years since I did that.

Note: I am working crazy hours the next few days through Sunday so I may not be able to blog again until Monday.

Have a great week everyone!

Success is the confidence to wear a bodysuit in public

2009-10-28T15:52:00.006-04:00

This may seem completely gratuitous and in one sense it is, however I am pretty proud of myself. I think it not only shows how far I've come physically, but also mentally. I'm considering this a non-scale victory.

I was invited to a Halloween party last weekend and one thing I hate is having to wear a costume. I had no inspiration about what to wear, so I just went to a giant Halloween store in Manhattan determined to buy *something*.

I was drawn to the flapper costumes (no surprise there, but I already dress 'retro') and the Statue of Liberty (something I always wanted to be, but hate the idea of looking like I'm wearing a mumu), or Wonder Woman (but her dress was too short). Getting frustrated, it then hit me: I want to wear a bodysuit!

Now you may not realize this, but I never wear pants. That's because since around age 9 when my thighs started filling out, buying pants has been a very traumatic experience and by age 14 I stopped wearing pants all together. To this day, I can never find pants that fit me correctly (small waist, big thighs and ass, short legs). And despite my weight loss success, that's still the body part/area I'm most self conscious of and I am very particular about how I dress it.

I don't know what suddenly possessed me to embrace my least favorite part, but I was so excited about my decision. I've worked on my body so much and despite the fact that it's not my "dream body", I'm so proud of what I accomplished so far. And I was ready and comfortable with the idea of wearing a bodysuit in public!

So I found the superhero section and grabbed a Catwoman suit. One size fits all. And for the first time in my life, I realized that "one size fits all" might be too BIG for me, instead of too small.

I brought it home and tried it on. It was more than roomy. In fact, it would have fit the old me (with the extra 50 pounds). But I wanted it super tight, so I did a haphazard job sewing it, making it smaller everywhere - the arms, the legs, the sides and back. And it worked! It was so tight, I could hardly get it on. And that was exactly how I wanted it to fit.

Here I am before I left the house for the party -

I think I look adorable here! I love that straight line down the left side of my back to the curve around my ass!

This picture blew my mind though - I honestly can't believe how *small* (stop laughing) and, well, nicely shaped my ass looks here! I thought it was MUCH bigger than this!

I even think I look pretty good in this bent over position! (Hoegaarden, where are you?!)

and other than having to pull up the crotch of the bodysuit in this shot, I am very pleased with how the suit looks!

So that's something I never thought would happen - me not only wearing a bodysuit in public but feeling super hot in it. I love it so much, I want to wear it to work. In fact, I have a good feeling Catwoman will be commuting through Grand Central Terminal this Friday. Meow!

PS! Re: the Wii Fit - if some of you can chime in - is this the right Wii I need to buy? I want to make sure I am getting the right console/set. Thanks again for your input!

Biggest Loser: I finally <3 Jillian

2009-10-27T23:11:00.002-04:00

Sadly, I did not make my meeting tonight because I am home sick. (I am going to see if I can make it to another meeting later in the week, so hopefully I can do a weekly meeting recap blog.) I can't remember the last time I was this sick. I feel so terrible that I haven't even left my apartment for about 36 hours now. Since I've been trapped at home, I've only had the energy to sleep, eat and watch TV, so I am caught up on my DVR stuff and watched The Biggest Loser tonight. And I'm inspired to talk about Jillian.

In every past season, I disliked her. I always thought she was just a bitch and wondered "Why is she so mean to everyone?!" But I see her in a very different light this season. And I do not think it's because she changed; I think it's because I changed. Now I see what she's doing and what her intentions are - she gets into their heads to help them uncover the deeper seeded issues of what got them to the condition they were in when they appeared on the ranch. She talks to them in a way that pushes them further and makes them realize that THEY are holding themselves back, that THEY need to change their thinking, that THEY need to do this for them.

I love watching those break through moments!

She summed up that process perfectly tonight when she spoke directly to the camera:

"What I'm trying to do is create an unfortunate situation that pushes them out of their comfort zone, that makes them uncomfortable, that triggers all their issues so they learn how to manage it in a safe, controlled environment where I can create a positive outcome because when it happens in the real world, they'll know what to do instead of folding."

She continued to try to get through to Amanda while she was on the treadmill, telling her:

"Why are you so attached to being a failure? Why don't you change your mind today... You want to fail. You don't want to succeed... What are you getting out of it?... You are not failing here, you quit. There is a difference between quitting and failing... It's going to require some courage, it's going to require a little bit of bravery. It doesn't mean you're going to be fearless... Step on the treadmill and make it count... You make it happen. You don't wait for life to happen. You make it happen."

Amanda did quit the treadmill and left the gym, crying, after all of that. I really wanted to see the lightbulb go off in her head and see her get back on the treadmill but she wasn't ready for it.

Then later in the episode, Jillian said to Amanda:

"You have to redefine your view of failure. It's not failure, it's a learning process. You gotta fall down a few times you gotta make a few mistakes in order to learn. It's how you grow. Think about it."

Bravo! I could not agree more!

But Jillian is not always a bitch to them, she knows when to be compassionate - she shifted gears and talked Shay through her own breakthrough about what made her morbidly obese, and the root of her issue - her heroin addicted mother who didn't love her. It was emotional and powerful and in the long run, I think it helped Shay. She also talked to Abby very gently about her personal tragedy of losing her husband and children. So she's not a bitch like I thought, she knows what she's doing.

It was tonight I realized that it's official: I am a fan of Jillian and her tough love approach. I often hear her in my head when I'm doing something at the gym. Although I've never met her or trained with her, her voice and words motivate me when I need them. Thank you, Jillian.

Speaking of The Biggest Loser, I saw during one of the commercial breaks that there is a BL game for the Wii Fit. I had been considering buying this for a while but now I'm even more excited about the idea. So it's feedback time - Do any of you have the Wii Fit? Love it/hate it/want to share your opinions? Let me know. More than likely, I will get it regardless but I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Thank you and have a great week!

Review: Polar F4 Heart Rate Monitor

2009-10-25T21:28:00.004-04:00

I mentioned recently that I finally picked up a heart rate monitor. I didn't get anything super fancy. I went with the Polar F4, for under 100 dollars. (Not that the color matters, I but I picked up the one in red berry.) The way it works is there's a strap that you put around the most upper part of your rib cage, and a watch that you wear on your wrist. When activated, the watch is used like a stopwatch and communicates with the band around your chest. From the time you press start to the time you press stop, it gives you a summary of your total minutes, the number of those minutes that you're in the fat burning/cardio zone, your average heart rate, your high heart rate and your total calories burned.

I've been wearing it almost every day to gather data for random activities. Of course I've been keeping track of my stats in Excel to get an idea of how may calories different activities burn (I highlighted a few of my recurring activities):

It's not included in that chart, but for a comparison, I also recorded my stats for 1 hour of working - where I was sitting for a full 60 minutes. Doing basically nothing except using my hands and brain at the computer, I burned just over 100 calories. I thought that was interesting because I can see how much more I burn by actually doing an activity compared to if I did nothing.

After reviewing this data, what surprised me most is that bike riding is actually a cardio activity. I really never thought of biking as exercise, much less cardio, so I was shocked by how many calories it burn. What also surprised me is that just getting from my apartment to Grand Central Terminal every morning burns approx 200 calories and my average heart rate is usually in the cardio zone!

Another good thing I noticed is that when I wear it to the gym, any of the cardio machines (treadmills/elipticals/cross trainer/arc trainer, etc) actually somehow know that you're wearing a HRM and display your heart rate right on the machine (without having to hold onto their heart rate sensors). I have found the HR number on the machine matches the HR number on the watch +/- 2 beats per min. But I noticed that the calories burned that display on the machine are always significantly higher (about 25%-35%) than the calories burned on the heart rate monitor. I don't understand the reasoning for this since my age and weight entered in both machines are the same. And I'm not sure which is more accurate - the heart rate monitor or the cardio machine.

All that being said, this is a pretty low end heart rate monitor but it's perfect for my needs and I'm happy with it. Of course, if you're looking for something fancier, there are tons more to choose from.

Weekly Meeting Topic: Eating Healthier the Easier Way

2009-10-20T20:45:00.004-04:00

At tonight's meeting, the leader asked us if, during our journey, we have had days where we ate all of our points but were still hungry. Not surprisingly, everyone could relate. The leader (who I adore - Karen, you are awesome!) asked us to think about what we were eating on those days - days when use all of our points but are still hungry; not mental hunger or palette hunger, but real physical hunger.

I have definitely been there and I knew immediately what she was getting at: the type and nutritional quality of food you consume is so much more important than you may realize. It was something I didn't know and would not have believed until I experienced it for myself.

I remember when I first joined, for the first year and a half, I lost my weight eating the same things I always ate - a lot of junk food and processed food - just less of it. Yes, you can lose weight that way because in the end, it's about calories in vs calories out.

However, not only is that not healthy, but I do not think that is sustainable long term. I think it worked for me when I had a lot of weight to lose because I could still eat a bunch of junk food along with the good stuff and managed to burn more calories than I used. But the fact is that the more you lose, and the closer you get to goal, you have to consume less food if you want to continue to lose weight. At that point, you don't have a lot of wiggle room anymore. Those calories (points) become so much more important and you should be more careful about what you eat. You should question what you are eating, why you are eating it and make adjustments that you are comfortable with and ready for. (The sooner you do this, the better, it took me a while to get to this point though.)

Even if I had heard this concept, I hadn't embraced it until I tried the Core version of the plan. Prior to that, I was on Flex and just concentrated on spending my points. I didn't give much thought to what I was spending them ON. A majority of my points were spent on things like junk food snacks, frozen high sodium meals, sugar free/fat free processed food - basically a ton of garbage and chemicals. Being on Core forced me to think about a whole new approach to eating - consuming actual, real food! Crazy concept, huh?

After just days on that plan I could not believe how different I felt. That's when the lightbulb went off. I noticed almost instantly how real food satisfied me so much more than the garbage I had been eating before then. It was like an "a-ha" and a "duh" moment at the same time.

And while it wasn't immediate, that first revelation I had as a result of eating real food caused me to have many more, leading me to the significant changes I made this year - first banning artificial ingredients (including the many seemingly healthy foods that contain them), and now my transition to Veganism.

For me, I can now look back and see that Core was a critical turning point because it made me reexamine what I was eating and *why* I was eating it, which caused me to say "Enough is enough. There are certain things I am not willing to put into my body anymore." This is huge - and it's just another reason why I try to remind you all the time - it's not all about the scale. This is such a mental journey. It's about the changes in your mind that lead to the changes in your actions. The scale will catch up to that eventually, but I think it's so much more important to be aware of what you are doing and why.

Lastly, remember that everyone has a different journey and this is not a race. Take your time and learn. Evolve. Have your own epiphanies, and make your changes. I think that's the secret to long term success.

Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

I tracked, but only for 2.5 days. This is less than my goal of 5 days, but it's more than none!
A co-worker put a Baby Ruth candy bar on my desk. My instinct was to grab it and open it, but I stopped myself and reminded myself that I don't eat artificial ingredients anymore (I'm sure there are some in there, I didn't even bother looking). I thought about the whole exchange and realized that I wasn't even tempted by the taste, it was more just an immediate reaction to open and devour it. But I did not. I gave it to another coworker and didn't think about it again.
Someone else at work offered me candy corn. (You may not know this but I am a former junk food junky and this was one of my favorite candies. I'd eat a pound at a time, and not just at Halloween.) I politely declined. When she offered again, I told her that I do not eat artificial ingredients. I even told her I was a former chemical candy junky, but haven't had any candy since March. She seemed amazed by that, and asked if I craved it. I told her that that was the most surprising thing - since cutting it out, I have not craved it once. I can now see candy and not feel like I'm going to die if I don't eat it. As opposed to before, when I tried to consume it in moderation, I would have to fight with myself to not eat it. But now I don't have that horrible internal struggle because I don't even want it. This, by far, is one of my biggest achievements to date. I never thought this day would come or would even be possible, but it's such a relief to not be tortured by thoughts of candy anymore!
I had a box of Kashi bars in my office that I knew weren't "safe". So a few weeks ago, I brought them into my co-worker's office and explained that I was leaving them there for safe keeping. I did this because I knew that if they were too easily accessible and no one could see me eat them, I would eat them way too fast. But having to go into someone else's office, where they would SEE what I was doing was enough to prevent me from eating them at an unhealthy rate. It worked. Most of them are still there.
I bought the B-12 and have remembered to take my vitamins 5/7 days.
I ran on the treadmill yesterday and my goal was to do 2 miles in 25 minutes. I did intervals of 90 seconds at 3.8 miles (walking) and 5.8 miles (running) and I DID IT! I finished with 2.01 miles in 25 minutes. That's my new record (12.5 minute mile)! It was amazing!!!

What do I want to work towards next week?

Expect to see this one for a while because it's that important: I want to track at least 5 days.
I am going to a Halloween party this weekend. In order to be successful, I will eat wisely before I go, plan out my alcohol points and bring my healthy snacks.
I want to start drinking hot water with lemon. Someone mentioned it in tonight's meeting and it sounds fantastic. I'm going to try it in the mornings and maybe I can even ween myself off coffee!

I'll close this out with the quote that was on the board tonight, which I liked - "Make the decision then do something - no matter how big or small - toward accomplishing what you want." (no source was listed)

Have a great week, everyone!

And since a few of you asked, this is the heart rate monitor I bought. I plan to do a full blog on it in the near future, but you can check it out there in the meantime.

How and why I started working out after 35 years of Slothfulness

2009-10-18T18:06:00.001-04:00

If you're familiar with this blog or know me in real life, you likely know that I spent the first 35 years of my life being totally sedentary and truly, embarrassingly lazy. I still get asked by people what made me start working out. To see where I am today, I feel, is nothing short of amazing. But how did I get here? It started in my head, in my thoughts. While I have blogged about it a few times (see here, here, here, and here), I want to address it again and include some insight and perspective that I acquired along the way.

It's so easy to coast through life, living every day without giving what you're doing much thought, telling yourself "I'll do xy or z someday"; but unless you stop and think about where you are and what you are doing and where you want to go, you'll miss out and wonder where the time went - years will go by and those things will never happen.

Something in me woke up when I was turning 35. It was like a cold slap in the face. I asked myself why I was living in a way that upset me so much - I hated my body. I hated how I looked and I hated the way I felt about myself and my life. In short, I hated myself.

But I realized that I was responsible for how I looked and felt. I had become the sum of my poor food and activity choices, which the world could see no matter how hard I tried to hide them. I knew that unless I did something about them, I was going to continue to live that way, or possibly even worse. I reluctantly accepted that I wasn't going to wake up one day and be happy with my appearance or myself, I had to work on it. I had to make a commitment to change. Because if I had made the choices that brought myself to that point of despair, depression and self loathing, surely I could make different choices that would lead me in the other direction.

Being close to 200 pounds and desperate to lose weight, I joined the YMCA in September 2006. I didn't have any expectations at that time either - I didn't expect to keep my membership for very long and I certainly didn't think I would ultimately change my body, my attitude towards activity or my life overall. But that's exactly what happened. (And I still say it's one of, if not THE best decisions I ever made in my life.) And there were two basic trains of thought that jolted me from the couch and got me to the gym: 1) Appreciating my body and 2) Facing my own mortality.

1) APPRECIATING MY BODY:
There are people who are born with physical limitations, and people who later develop limitations, whether through accident or illness. I tried to imagine how horrible it must be to know that your body is physically incapable of doing certain things and how difficult it must be to accept that fate. Yet here I was with a perfectly able body that was just being wasted and neglected - a body that was fully functional but not being used to its potential, if at all. I felt guilt and shame for taking that for granted when I knew there were people that would probably do anything in their power for the chance to do something as simple as walk.

2) FACING MY MORTALITY:
I also thought about the fact that I'm not going to live forever, I'm not going to get another chance to be the age I am now, and this is not a dress rehearsal: I am never going to live this life again. I have one chance to make my life as awesome as possible, and I was tired of throwing it all away, taking it for granted, and making myself miserable in the process. I will be dead one day. Who knows when? It could happen tomorrow. I better enjoy what precious little time I have here! I had already missed out on my entire youth (grade school, teens, 20's, half my 30's) being fat and unhappy and I knew that I did not want to live like that anymore. I realized that I had a chance to take back my life, that no one could do it for me, and that the only one stopping me was me. If I wanted to enjoy whatever youth I had left, and the rest of my time on this planet, I needed to change. Immediately.

While those thoughts may be a little intense for some people to wrap their heads around, it was those precise lines of reasoning that got me to join the gym. But unfortunately, joining is not enough, you need to actually attend and move :). And if you're wondering, yes, it was difficult at first. When I initially started working out, I did not like it at all. I was so out of shape that any little thing I did was exhausting. I was embarrassed about how I looked and self conscious about how quickly I would get out of breath and have to stop. But I continued doing it because I felt like it was my last chance to get the life I wanted. I *had* to do it, so I did it. And after not too long (about 10 weeks), I *wanted* to do it and looked forward to it. That brings me to where I am today...

Recently I had a very scary moment that made me appreciate my body all over again - days before the Century Bike Tour, while I was in punk rope class, I had an incredibly sharp pain in my ankle. The pain was so intense, I had to stop immediately. I tried cracking my ankle and stretching, then jumping again, but it still hurt too badly. I had to finish the rest of the class putting most of my body weight on the other leg. Because my jumping was compromised that way, it meant I couldn't do the crosses, double jumps and other fancy moves that I love doing. This was greatly upsetting to me. I hated being limited in that manner. And when it came time to do the relay, I realized I could not participate because I could not run. After years of avoiding running because I hated it, I suddenly wanted to run, but I could not. My body would not allow it.

I was so overcome with emotion at that moment that I left class and began to cry in the hallway. I thought "What if there is something seriously wrong? What if I will never be able to jump rope or run again?!" It was a really scary feeling. The thought frightened and frustrated me but simultaneously I was amazed at what it meant: I was actually upset that I couldn't run! I never thought the day would come when I would be upset by that, but I was beyond upset. I was terrified. I never wanted to run more than I did at that moment - when I feared the option to do so had been taken away from me forever.

Standing in the hallway, I realized it was another significant moment for me - I reminded myself that I can not and would not take my body for granted. I still didn't know what was wrong but I wanted to believe that my injury was temporary and that soon I would be able to run and jump again. And when I was able to, I would remember how I felt at the time that I couldn't use my body, and I would be motivated by that experience.

And I did just that!

Within a few days I was back to normal (I think I just didn't warm up and stretch properly that night) and at the first opportunity, I got back on the treadmill to run - because I COULD. It was exhilarating! I used the memory of how scared I was that I might not ever be able to run again, and pushed myself a little bit harder - because I could. At that moment, I was so grateful to be able to run. I've used that memory in other classes since then too, reminding myself to push myself a little harder and do what I can *while* I can.

So whether you have never worked out or if you have been slacking off in the activity department, keep all of that in mind. You're not guaranteed anything in life. You're lucky to be alive and fortunate enough to do whatever it is you are capable of doing. But any of that can be taken away at any moment, so don't regret what you should have done when you had the opportunity. Do it now, while you can. Enjoy your body and the amazing things it can do. You'll probably even surprise yourself by what you are able to do - things you never thought possible. Things like riding a bike through 5 boros in the rain, or riding a bike for 70 miles or doing a 5K. As I like to remind myself often, "The only thing stopping me is me". Don't stop yourself. Anything's possible. The choice is yours. Do it... while you can.

On an unrelated note, I'd like to thank Amber for including this blog in her list of 50 Excellent Women's Health and Beauty Blogs. Check out her list, you may find more blogs that you enjoy. (Thanks, Amber!)

Weekly Meeting Topic: Taking Care of Yourself

2009-10-13T21:12:00.006-04:00

Tonight we talked about why it's so important to take care of yourself in relation to your journey. There are so many ways and so many opportunities you get every day where you can take care of yourself. Here are just a few:

Make time to exercise: this may involve getting creative with your activity and/or sneaking it in if you are pressed for time, but remember - even 5 minutes is better than no minutes.
Preparing and controlling your environment: making shoppings lists, going shopping, having the right foods/tools in the house sets you up to be successful.
Being assertive: telling people what you need and want from them (family, friends, co-workers, waiters, etc). Do not back down. Let them know what you need and that you're serious about it.
Get enough sleep: When you're tired, don't eat to try to stay awake - it never works and you end up going to bed anyway, with extra calories consumed. Just go to sleep, your body will thank you and you'll be fresher the next day.

Now, I love whenever we mention this topic. Mostly because I have no problem doing any of these things and like any chance to remind people to make themselves a priority.

Back when I had my original leader in Brooklyn, she would always ask me to speak when this topic came up - just because I seemed to be the only person in the meeting that had no problem putting myself first, and I was more than glad to expound the greatness of living this way.

Maybe it's because I have the luxury of not having to take care of anyone else in my life, or maybe it's just because I'm selfish by nature, but I have no problem putting myself first, being assertive and doing what I know is best for me.

Anyone who knows me in real life will tell you that I do not respond to guilt or pressure from outside sources. In fact, If I have a struggle, it's internal. I don't let other people have that power over me.

So when I do not want to do something, I say no at the risk of someone else's feelings. I am as polite about it as possible, but I still decline because I know that in the long run, I need to do what's best for me, not what other people want.

If I know a experience will be challenging, I think about if it's really worth it to me before I agree to do it. If I have any control over the event/situation, I grab it (bring my own food, suggest a different place, show up late so I miss the meal, etc). I really believe in putting yourself first, regardless of the situation - food or otherwise. I think most people have a problem doing this, but I like to remind them that by taking care of yourself, you are then better equipped to take care of others.

So if you are not used to this concept, try to embrace it - Make yourself a priority, and do what you need to do to take care of yourself. You will be better off for it ad everyone around you will benefit from a better you.

At the end of the meeting, the leader shared a quote with us which I really liked - "To eat is a necessity but to eat intelligently is an art." (There was no source listed) I think that's fantastic!

Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

Tracking: I wanted to track at least 5 days, I only did 3. I have no excuse. I just need to be more diligent and get better with it. Consistency is so important, and I know that.
5K: I completed my first 5K on Sunday (I earned a bravo sticker for it at the meeting tonight)

What do I want to work towards next week?

Tracking: I will track 5 days if it kills me!
Getting my hemoglobin up: I tried to donate blood yesterday but was shy of the 12.5 minimum hemoglobin reading (I had 12.3), so I am going to be extra diligent about taking my vitamins. I also picked up B-12 which I learned is something all vegans need. I'm also going to make sure I eat more dark leafy greens than normal and have a return appointment in 2 weeks.

And just for fun, here is a photo of me at work today with my dear officemate, William (aka Sour Balls) and Joe G. How cute are they? This was right before William and I did the stairs today (40 flights)-

I love those boys.

Have a great week, everyone!

Fitness Adventures: My First 5K

2009-10-12T19:40:00.006-04:00

Yesterday was a day for the history books, dear blog readers. For, I not only officially became a "runner" (my punk rope instructor said so), but Elaine and I made the leap from Athlete (stop laughing) to Bi-Athlete. That's right. Yesterday, we completed a biathlon! (Sadly, this is a real word, Lainy thought she made it up) Let me explain...

As most of you know, yesterday was my first 5K, "Get to the 'Point!" (a clever play on an expression, combined with an abbreviated version of my neighborhood, Greenpoint). It was a local run through the neighborhood that I live in, to raise money for St Stan's Athletic League (I think they use the money to provide kids with sporting equipment or pay for activities for them).

First I'll tell you the story, then I'll show the photos.

It was a beautiful day, sunny and a little chilly. I loved that it started at 1:00pm. (That meant I didn't have to wake up at 5:30am like I do for the bike tours.) I headed over shortly after noon, checked in, collected my goody bag and found my 5K partner and one of my favorite people in the world, my pal Lainy.

We warmed up a little and when the run began, we started with a nice paced jog. My plan was to jog/run as much as I could, but then slow down to a fast walk when necessary, then start running/jogging again. And we did just that. We'd run a block or two, then walk. I used my heart rate monitor as my guide. Anytime my heart rate hit 170 (which happens pretty quickly when I run), we'd stop running, and then walk until I got down to about 130. Then we'd start running again. It worked out really well.

As we ran/walked, we talked about my favorite topics: men and food/activity related stuff. Lainy's 10 years younger than me, but always has good insight and always makes me laugh. I'd even forget we were doing the event until NYPD that were stationed at the corners, or the neighborhood folk who were outside, cheered us on - then I'd kick it into high gear again, at least until my heart rate got too high.

Despite being physically able to complete it, about 2/3rds through it, I do remember saying "I $%#!@ hate running!". But before I knew it, I saw the glorious Finish Line and it was over.

I didn't have that amazing sense of accomplishment like I did from the 5 Boro bike tour, since three miles by foot is really nothing to me (I walk more than that on any given day). But I was glad I did it and I really enjoyed the day, the weather and the experience. I hit the finish line at under 43 minutes, but since I didn't understand the finish line process, the statistics on their website show me over 43 minutes:

After the 5K, I treated Lainy to brunch at Greenpoint Coffee House. And then, since it was beautiful outside and I was on my bike, I told her I'd escort her home to the Upper East Side of Manhattan. So by tacking on about 20 miles of biking to my 3 miles of walking/running - that is how Elaine and I became Bi-Athletes.

Here are my heart rate monitor stats for my biathlon:

5K: 44 minutes, 40 minutes in zone, 146 average HR, 360 calories*
Bike: 66 minutes, 64 minutes in zone, 142 average HR, 510 calories**

*I turned it on and off before the start and after the finish, thus the extra minute.
**This doesn't include the biking to and from the race. This was just to ride Lainy home and back.

Clearly, biking wins. It's also easier and more fun. But I'm still going to give running a chance. I'd love to build up my stamina and endurance, so I'll continue doing some interval training on the treadmill. And now that I know the Greenpoint 5K keeps such great records, I will take it more seriously next year (no stopping for water and waiting for them to find cups! less talking and laughing, more moving!). I'm looking forward to slaughtering this year's stats. I'm even going to shoot for 38 minutes or less (shaving 5 minutes off this year's time).

Here are the photos-

View of the Starting line:

And because I'm completely predictable, here I am in the church bathroom before the start:

This is St Stan's:

I asked a bystander to get a photo of Lainy and me before the start:

Lainy warms up (hilariously):

This guy handed me his card and offered to be a boyfriend to either of us. Nice to know he's happy with whatever he gets. (Who's a lucky gal?)

Waiting to begin the run:

Running on Driggs:

Follow the yellow arrows! (Running on North 12th, turning onto Berry):

The 1 mile mark on Lorimer (by Norman):

The 2 mile mark on Manhattan Ave (by Meserole):

Not for nothing, but this really pisses me off (discarded cups on Nassau):

Running towards the Finish line:

I rode my bike the entire course later to get this shot of the painted finish line on the ground:

Power brunch @ Greenpoint Coffee House with Lainy:

The biathlon is over, back at home-

And since it's now tradition after both bike tours, showing off my souvenir t-shirt:

It was a great day and a fun experience. And I'm so glad I had my girl Lainy there with me. Thanks, Lainykins! And thank you all for your support and well wishes!

Recipe: Vegan Pumpkin Pancakes

2009-10-11T09:15:00.011-04:00

I was having lunch in the city yesterday with Laurie Notaro (yes, The Laurie Notaro. I totally just name dropped) and I was telling her about my favorite new weekend breakfast: high fiber pumpkin pancakes! She asked if I posted the recipe online yet, which I have not, so I documented the process this morning. Not only are these pancakes delicious, but they have a ton of fiber (about 10g per serving) and the addition of pumpkin and spices makes them great for autumn! But you can leave them out for plain high fiber pancakes, or add your own ingredients - fruit or whatever. Get creative!

Ingredients:

Bob's High Fiber Pancake & Waffle Mix, 1 cup (7 points)
Canned Pumpkin, 1/2 of a 15 oz can (1 point)
Oat Bran, 1/3 cup (1 point)
Unsweetened Applesauce, 4 oz (.5 point)
Water, 3/4 cup
Cinnamon, Ginger, Nutmeg and Cloves, 1/4 tsp each (0 points)

Yields: 3 cups mix
Servings: 3
Points per Serving: 3

(Add all ingredients in any order, it doesn't matter)

In a mixing bowl, add 1 cup of pancake mix -

Add pumpkin (1 cup) and unsweetened applesauce (4 oz)-

Add spices and water -

Add 1/3 cup oatbran -

Stir all ingredients until they are smooth and well blended. (If you prefer thinner pancakes, add a little more water or some milk/soy milk. If you like them thick, leave them as is. It's always better to start too thick and then add liquid if necessary)

When I was done mixing the ingredients, I transferred them into this great measuring cup from the Container Store. As you can see, this batch of mixture comes out to 3 cups. Putting it in this measuring cup before cooking the mix helps because I can be aware of how much mix I use. It's built in portion control. 3 cups = 3 servings.

Since the cup also has a spout, you can pour it out easily onto your griddle -

And the best part of this measuring cup is the snap on plastic lid that keeps the mixture fresh in the fridge for a few days. I love this product!

ok, back to the recipe...

Obviously, you pour the mixture on the grill, cooking one side-

then flipping and cooking the other-

Within minutes, you have your gorgeous, hearty, healthy, delicious pancakes!

I added a tiny amount of vegan butter (1.5 tsp) and maple syrup (2 tbsp) for an additional 3 points-

Doesn't that look awesome?! It is! I love these pancakes! Enjoy :)

And if you're in Greenpoint today between 1 and 2, look for me in the 5K. I'll be running/walking with Lainykins. Not sure what I'm wearing yet, but it will involve actual sneakers and appropriate attire. Here's the course route.

Also, tomorrow I am going to "Tweet what I Eat". If you want to follow along, send a request to follow me on Twitter.

Weekly Meeting Topic: Shaking it up on WW (and links to my guest blog posts for Fred Flare)

2009-10-06T20:38:00.006-04:00

Tonight we talked about boredom on plan and shaking things up. It's probably obvious, but boredom can be dangerous because it can lead to us slipping back to previous behavior, and we don't want to do that. Everyone in the room contributed to the conversation when the leader (who I really like) asked us what we do to prevent boredom. Here are some ideas that may help or inspire you:

Food Boredom - It can be easy to eat the same foods all the time, but eventually you may get tired of them. Fortunately, I love trying new foods and recipes, and that's an easy fix for this problem. Lately I've been experimenting with different vegan products, but have also been treating myself to different kinds of pears and apples since they're in season and there's an abundance of variety right now. I have not been disappointed with any of them yet! And I love trying new recipes - I sometimes look for them on the WW website, but find a lot of good ones in Real Simple magazine, and the NY Times website (this one sounds awesome!). I also have a great new Vegan cookbook I've been 'reading' (thank you, Sherry!) and I can't wait to try some of those recipes! (And to my Greenpoint friends, I am even considering hosting a brunch with this book! Vegan, of course. That's right, I might actually allow people in my apartment!)

Activity Boredom - If you're bored with your workout routine, don't let that be an excuse to stop working out. Find something new! As most of you know, I recently incorporated some running into my weekly workouts, as well as the Total Body Conditioning (strength training) class. I still do my other workouts because I still enjoy them - Punk Rope, pilates, cardio machines and bike riding. (Wow, I never thought I'd do that much activity in a year, let alone a week, go me!)

So if you're getting bored with your food or activity choices, it's probably time to think about what you can change to shake it up. Sometimes it's all you need to feel motivated and excited about your journey again!

And here are my weekly follow ups-

What did I accomplish this week?

This week I tracked 4 days. Not as good as last week, and not as good as I wanted to do, but better than I was doing over the last few months. I am still working towards making this a daily habit.
I managed to take my vitamins 6 days this week - I think that's a record for me! I'm really trying to make this a daily habit too, and I'm off to a really good start.
I gave the chocolate section and the peanut butter section in Whole Foods the stare down last week. Not only that, but I told them they had no power over me and I was not going to fall for their delicious charms! (Fear not, I said it in my head, no one saw the crazy...) Again, instead of eating chocolate on the walk back to work, I had a delicious and refreshing seltzer, which I really look forward to now!
I created a spreadsheet to track my activity and the associated statistics from my new heart rate monitor (I love that thing!). I burn way more calories than I realized, especially biking! I'm still collecting data but I will share it eventually.
I finished reading The End of Overeating recently (awesome, highly recommended!) and started reading another new book, Skinny Bitch, which I LOVE. I should review them in future blogs... if I ever get around to it.
A co-worker gave me a box of Boo Berry cereal (my all time favorite cereal - I even have a Boo Berry tattoo) and what struck me after the fact was that I had no emotional reaction to the gift. I realized that I am not even tempted to eat it! It's simply a box with a cute cartoon ghost and some non-food contents inside. That's amazing progress and shows how far I have come in thinking about food and what I am willing to put in my body - The artificial food ban that I began in May has been one of the most profound and surprisingly easiest rules I've implemented. I never thought I could keep a box of that in my house without wanting to eat it!

What do I want to work towards next week?

I will track at least 5 days, but try for 7.
As for my upcoming 5K this Sunday, I hope to complete it in 40-45 minutes.
I want to have a day this week where I "tweet what I eat". I think it will keep me on program, the same way photographing my food for a blog does.

And on the topic of my Weight Watchers journey, I just want to mention that I've been guest blogging over at Fred Flare recently (because keeping up with three of my own blogs just isn't enough for me!). Here are two of my weight-related posts - It's Never too Late to Feel Great! and How a Glamour Girl Dresses for the Gym. Check them out if you can, and also check out the rest of super-cute Fred Flare. They're Bitch Cakes approved!

Have a fantastic week, everyone!

Weekly Meeting Topic: Managing Feelings without Eating

2009-09-29T18:29:00.007-04:00

Tonight we talked about something I think everyone with a weight problem can relate to - eating because of emotions instead of hunger. Somewhere long ago, in all of our lives, we learned to use food to make us feel good. And when we are upset, sad, stressed, etc, food is often what we turn to because it's the quickest way to feel good when we are trying to avoid those feelings.

Of course we all also know from experience that the good feeling is very temporary, and is usually followed by feeling even worse - because not only will food not solve the initial problem, but it will add a new problem: ingesting food/calories we do not need, and then feeling bad about that too.

Sound familiar? I would be surprised if it didn't.

The fact is that in the long run, food is not going to help in these situations. I know we all realize that when we're not *in* the moment. Being in the moment makes it much harder for that logic to work. That's why it helps to think it through now, when you're not in the moment and can be logical and objective, and to come up with a plan. That way, the next time you identify that you are eating out of emotion, you are prepared.

We discussed some strategies for handling emotional eating. But before you can come up with plans to change your behavior, you should identify when it happens. First, think about when you've eaten out of emotion. Which emotions or situations cause you to eat? (for me, it's stress, frustration and sadness). Then question why you turn to a particular food (I turn to sweets), how it 'helps' (it's soothing and comforting), and what other non-food thing you can turn to in order to get that same sense of relief or satisfaction next time that feeling or situation arises (I like to play with my cat when I'm home, or go for a walk when I'm at work).

Lastly, remind yourself:

If you eat, you may feel good for that brief moment; but you will feel worse later.
To allow yourself to feel the feeling.
Food is not going to help, and will likely create a new problem.
Whatever you are feeling is only temporary.
You are stronger than you think.

Feel the feelings. Don't feed them! :)

And last week I mentioned I wanted to answer the followig questions in my weekly blog post, so here goes:

What did I accomplish this week?

My goal was to track at least 5 days, and I did just that! 5 days of tracking! Including one day when I consumed 51 points (yikes). Although I exceeded my weekly points because of it, this was a huge victory for me because previously, when I knew I was over in points, I did not track. I'm proud of myself for being accountable and recording the food. It wasn't as scary as I expected, and it felt great!
A bad habit that I let myself develop recently is that when I go to Whole Foods or Target during lunch time, I buy a dark chocolate bar that's 15 points and I eat the entire thing on my walk back. The whole thing! 15 points! I only get 20 per day! This week when I went to Whole Foods, I wrestled with myself over buying that chocolate bar. Not only did I not buy it but I instead treated myself to a seltzer with lime. Zero guilt and zero points for the same price on the walk back to the office.
I went back to face the Total Body Conditioning class that kicked my ass the week before. I made it through the class without being on the verge of tears, and I got a great workout!
I signed up for a 5K in my neighborhood next Sunday. I'm sure I will walk the majority of it (quickly, of course) but want to do my little bit of running spurts I've been practicing on the treadmill.
I bought a large bag of almonds and made my own 2 point baggies with it! This was an accomplishment because I've bought the big bag many times with the intention of making portion controlled baggies, but I never do. I just eat the whole bag without counting it.

What do I want to work towards next week?

I will track at least 5 days again
I will use my new heart rate monitor for my workouts and keep track of my stats

I can totally do that. Have a great week, everyone.

Fat Photos of me from my gothic phase in the early 90's

2009-09-28T20:24:00.004-04:00

Ugh, these are so completely awful, I don't even know where to begin...

Ok, recently, I was looking through a box of photos. I came across an envelope titled "My Really Fat Pictures". I was afraid to look inside, but I simply had to. What I stumbled upon was me. In 1990-1991. I was 19-20 years old, very heavy (about 200 pounds), and very unhappy - which you will see in my painfully fake smile.

It was surreal to see these. Deep down, I know they are photos of me, but I feel like I am looking at another person. I think the hardest thing for me to look at (even harder than the fake smile) is my unkempt eyebrows. *shudder*

Have a look for yourself...

For the record, I did not grow out of this look for quite a while, even after losing weight. Here I am in 1994, on my 23rd birthday at my lowest adult weight ever - 140 pounds:

This is also from 1994, at Washington Square Park in NYC -

Wow. That's... embarrassing. Anyway, I promised to post those photos, so there you go.

I am really REALLY glad I am not that person anymore - mentally or physically.

A Day on Plan - My Food Journal and Activity Log

2009-09-27T10:04:00.004-04:00

As I mentioned in my weekly blog topic post, I made a commitment to track this week. To help me get started with that goal, I photographed my food the first day of tracking, this past Wednesday. Here's what I ate that first day:

6:30am Breakfast, 3.5 points
Burrito (3 points)
Coffee with Silk Vanilla Light Soy Milk (.5 point)
Aloe Vera Juice with a splash of POM Juice (0 points)

9:30am Snack, 1 point
Apple

11:00am Lunch, Part 1, 3 points
Bread (2 points)
Tofurky, 4 slices (1 point)
Mustard, Tabasco, Tomato (0 points)

1:00 Lunch, Part 2, 6 points
Super Salad: Romaine Lettuce, Tomato, Black Eyed Peas (1 point), Tofu-Lin (2 points), Avocado (2 points), Sesame Oil (1 point), Rice Vinegar, Lemon Juice

5:30 Commute Home Snack, 1.5 points
Banana on Metro North

6:30 Another commuting snack, 0 points
Carrots in Queens, waiting for the B61

9:45 Dinner, 3 points
Tofu shirataki, onions, peas, carrots, Tofu Lin (2 points), Safflower Oil (1 point)

10:40 Dessert/Snack, 1.5 points
Smart Bran Cereal (1 point), Oat Dream 'milk' (.5 point)

11:00 Post Dinner Beer while blogging, 3.5 points
Delicious Wheat Beer from Brouwerij Lane, 16 ounces

Total Points Allowance: 20
Total Points Spent: 23
Total Points Earned: 3 (Punk Rope Class)

So at the end of the day, I came out even. I used as many points as I had earned without dipping into my 35 weekly points.

And I'm happy to say I have tracked everything since! I am very proud of myself and am going to continue tracking because I know it's the most important thing I can do to stay on track.

The Best and Worst in Vegan Food Finds!

2009-09-26T09:00:00.006-04:00

As most of you probably know, I'm currently transitioning from lacto-ovo vegetarian to vegan. I've been vegetarian since I was 12, but decided to go vegan a few months ago. Since that decision, I have not purchased dairy products (or products with dairy) for my own home. However, if you read my about my birthday week adventures in my other blog, you saw I ingested a LOT of dairy - in the form of pizza and ice cream (see here, here, here and here) - the BEST pizza and ice cream in NYC. It was a bit of a birthday splurge in addition to being an opportunity to enjoy that stuff before I eliminate it from my diet. Don't get me wrong - I don't feel deprived that I am not going to eat that stuff again, I am fine with it. I just wanted to consume the 'best of the best' before making the switch.

As for becoming vegan, I am still learning the 'secret ingredients' to avoid and figuring out what new foods work for me nutritionally. I'm expecting to be able to say I'm fully vegan by the end of the year.

Because of this significant change, I've been trying different products lately - finding stuff that tastes good and works for me, which brings me to this blog post. I've had 4 amazing products and literally the worst thing I ever ate in my life. Here you go:

Amazing find #1: TEESE
I found out about this vegan "cheese" thanks to you, my helpful blog readers. I had a hard time finding it but stumbled across it quite by accident at Boneshakers (a great vegetarian/vegan bike friendly cafe in Greenpoint). I have used it only for one thing so far - PIZZA! I make small margherita pita pizzas with it in the toaster oven: pita, 1/4 cup (or less) Don Peppino Pizza Sauce, 1 oz Teese and fresh basil.

Nutrition Info: 1 oz = 80 calories, 6g fat, 0g fiber (2 points)

Amazing find #2: FIELD ROAST VEGAN CHORIZO
Other than being high in sodium, I can find no fault in this soy-rizo. It is packaged just like sausage links and they taste amazing! They are my new favorite dinner (recipe blog in the works)

Nutrition Info: 1 link = 250 calories, 12g fat, 4g fiber (5 points)

WORST FOOD EVER: And the award for the worst food I ever ate in my life goes to: VEGAN RELLA "cheese" substitute

I tried that cheese hoping to use it in my salad. I tasted it before adding it (thank goodness) because it was the least palatable thing I had ever put in my mouth. Now, I have to tell you - in my lifetime, I can't think of a single food that I have hated based purely on taste. But this product was truly VILE. I checked the expiration date and it had not passed, so I assumed this is what it was supposed to taste like. Blech! No thank you!

I was so offended by this product, I decided to see if I could get my money back. So I headed to Whole Foods and explained my dilemma - how this was the worst thing I had ever eaten and the first time I had ever tried to get a refund for food, it was THAT bad. Even without a receipt, they were happy to refund my money. That's customer service for you. Thank you, Whole Foods!

I've since decided to omit vegan 'cheese' from my salad since I didn't love the taste of any of them and they provided little to no protein, which I realized is something I need in the middle of the day to help me feel satisfied. Which brings me to...

Amazing find #3: TOFU-LIN I now use this product Tofu-Lin from soyboy in my salads. It's a mildly spiced tofu that can be consumed right out of the package (perfect for my salad), or it can be cooked, so I use it for hot meals at home too.

Nutritional Info: 1/4 package = 100 Calories, 5 g fat, 0 g fiber (2 points)

Not only does this stuff taste great, but it has a lot of protein - 11g per serving. So this is much better for my salad than the vegan cheese which had little to no protein.

Amazing find #4: TURTLE ISLAND This company offers a lot of products. I discovered them just recently and so far I have only tried the "deli slices" and tempeh. They are certified organic and vegan. Just like the chorizo mentioned above, the only fault I can find with them is that they are high in sodium. But since they are high in protein, this has been a great find for me. I use the deli slices for a mid-day sandwich at work, and have used the tempeh to make a super quick, tasty, healthy dinners.

Nutritional Info: 4 deli slices = 80 calories, 2.4 g fat, 2.4 g fiber (1 point)
Nutritional Info: 1/3 package tempeh = 190 calories, 6 g fat, 6 g fiber (4 points)

Finding these foods has been tremendously helpful, but I am still on the lookout for others. So if anyone has any other suggestions they think I may enjoy, leave them in the comments. Thanks!

Since some of you have written to me and asked - if you're looking for information on vegetarianism, this is a good place to start.

Weekly Meeting Topic: Goal Setting

2009-09-23T23:38:00.000-04:00

I will start this post by saying that I have officially changed my Weight Watchers meeting. I am no longer attending Monday nights in Brooklyn, I have moved to Tuesday evenings in Manhattan. That means my weekly meeting topic post will appear on Tuesday nights from now on. Goodbye Williamsburg, hello Park Avenue!

This week we talked about goals and goal setting. (We covered this topic back in January and I wrote about it here.) It was a good reminder of concepts that I know, but needed to hear again; especially since I've been drifting pretty aimlessly for a while now, at least in regards to food.

We talked about why goals are important and what they do for us - They keep us focused; they keep us motivated; they give us a wonderful sense of accomplishment when we achieve them, and by achieving them, we realize that if we did it once, we can do it again - which gives us the confidence to move towards our next goal. It's a great cycle, really.

That's why they recommend (and I agree with) setting small goals. This is especially helpful if you have a lot of weight to lose. Don't get overwhelmed by "I have to lose x pounds", focus on 5 pounds at a time if you're worried about the scale, and focus on all the other non-scale victories (like your clothes fitting better, being able to climb the stairs more easily, being able to bend more easily, being able to tighten your belt, behavior changes... you name it - the rewards are endless!) no matter how much you have to lose, or if you are just trying to maintain.

My new leader mentioned that she uses the 3 month WW journal to track her food, and she told us that one of her favorite features of that journal is that each week has 2 questions:

What did I accomplish this week?
What do I want to work towards next week?

Whether you use that journal or not, I think those are great things to think about on a weekly basis, and I will answer them here, on my weekly blog posts.

As for what I accomplished last week: I made it through that super tough class last Saturday, I tried a new recipe that a reader sent me (photographed for a future blog), and bought the heart rate monitor I have been wanting (which will also be covered in a future blog)

And as for what I want to work towards next week: I am starting with the most obvious and probably most important goal - tracking. To make my goal more specific, I am going to track at least 5 days this week in e-Tools.

I am pleased to report that I started today and I did track everything I ate and drank for the first time in a long time. (I also photographed it, so I can show you all what I am eating these days in a future blog.)

I was so much more aware of what I was eating today and it felt great. I really listened to my body and paid attention to my hunger level throughout the day, as well as keeping in mind Weight Watchers Good Health Guidelines to ensure I was getting a good balance of food groups.

It always amazes me how instantly I feel better from eating the right foods and portions. I had so much more energy today and just felt good in general. It was a pretty spectacular day, actually. I just need to do it again tomorrow. And the next day, and the next. Until it becomes second nature again.

I did it before, I can do it again.

Biggest Loser 8: Season Premiere (and my own grueling gym experience)

2009-09-20T10:14:00.011-04:00

I am so excited that The Biggest Loser Season 8 has begun! I finally got around to watching the season premiere and was so motivated and moved by the exchange between Jillian and Shay at the gym. As the heaviest contestant in Biggest Loser history, 476-pound Shay was struggling at the ladder machine and Jillian said to her: "Listen to me: This is a story in your head. None of it is real. All you have to do is change your mind. Get on the ladder and climb for 20 seconds. It's a CHOICE. Make a different choice, Shay. If you don't, then no one can help you."

While I could relate to Shay's self defeatest "I'm a failure, I can't do it" attitude (I think all of us were there at some point in our lives and we all need to move away from there), I was so blown away by Jillian's words. In that moment, she summed it up so perfectly that I was cheering in my head - Yes! That's it! Make another choice. Just do it! The only thing holding you back is YOU! Jillian is totally right - we all need to change the story, the script, the thoughts in our head in order to be successful. I thought 'Jillian's words will certainly resonate with Shay' But seconds later, you see that Shay said she can't do it. Giving up on herself, and disappointing the trainers, she left the gym.

I thought "No!! How could she leave?! How could Jillian's words not have gotten through to her?!"

After they left Shay alone outside for a while, she had this thought "I was thinking of everything they said and everything I was feeling and I realized if I stop now, nothing is going to change." Bravo! She *does* get it! I was so proud of her! And with that, she went back into the gym and finished her workout.

Later in the show, she added: "I will never walk out again because walking out of this gym is walking out on me." Good for her - such a powerful thought and realization!

And watching all of that reminded me of my own gym experience just yesterday...

I arrived at the gym at 11am expecting to do Interval Training, which, admittedly, is a huge challenge for me. This class totally kicks my ass, and I hadn't done it in about 2 months, but I was ready for it. However, when I arrived, the trainer told me that the schedule had changed and this time slot was for something called "Total Body Conditioning", which is sort of like Interval Training but without the aerobics - it's all weights. Now, the thing I like about Interval Training is that the aerobics break up the utter horror and pain of the weights - it's like a break, as far as I'm concerned - the easier part of the class. To hear that I was about to endure an hour of weight related exercise terrified me.

I considered leaving and doing cardio machines instead, but I did not want to walk out of the gym. I did not want to give up on myself before even trying. So I stayed...

We weren't even five minutes into the class when I was in so much pain, my body was trembling with every move. I had to summon every ounce of mental motivation I could find to make it through this class. It's times like that where I channel my 'inner Jillian' and imagine being on the BL ranch and the things she would tell me, or yell at me - that quitting is not an option; that I had better not stop - and I remind myself of the same things I think of on tough hills that I bike: this discomfort is only temporary; this challenge is making me stronger; if I quit now, I am setting myself up to quit again next time things get tough; and the simple 'just do it!'

So I stuck around, and pushed myself as much as possible. I did not sneak out of the class like I had briefly fantasized.

I'm not going to lie, this was the toughest workout I have even done. There were moments in that class that I was on the verge of tears. That has never happened to me before! I fought them back because I was so embarrassed, but they were close. It was a humbling experience because I thought I was in pretty decent shape, but this class made me doubt my own abilities. Every time I felt those negative thoughts creeping into my head I pushed them out. And I persevered. Granted, I did not do as well as I would have liked and it certainly was not easy, but I did not quit.

I was sore yesterday and I am still sore today (my arms are *killing* me - even as I type this, I feel the soreness in my biceps). But I am proud of myself for sticking it out, for talking myself through it, for not giving up. That's what I try to remind you of often in this blog - There will be hard times during your journey - whether it's food, event or activity related, things are not always easy - that's life. All that matters is how you respond in those tough situations, and what you learn from them and how you move on from there.

As for what I learned - I am not nearly as strong as I'd like to be. And if you're wondering, yes - I will be back there next Saturday morning.

Biking: The NYC Century Tour Wrap Up

2009-09-13T17:54:00.008-04:00

I can hardly can believe it's over...

I left the apartment at 6:30am. This is how I looked before leaving -

The weather was beautiful, perfect even, and the sun had just come up. I rode over the Pulaski Bridge -

to the 59th Street Bridge-

and then had to ride north all the way up to the 110th Street entrance of Central Park. By the time I got there, I had already clocked 7 miles. Shortly after arriving, my friends spotted me - Joe Katz, Erin, and JJ -

Joe Katz took an artsy-angled photo of me -

We rode through Manhattan - pretty much everywhere I had been last weekend! Riverside Drive, 11th Ave, Broadway, Bleecker St. I couldn't believe it was almost the exact path I had mapped out for myself. I can't tell you how many comments I got about my shoes, outfit and bike. And as usual, people were taking pictures of me (though most of them asked first, which was a nice change from the usual sneaky photographs).

We made our way to the southern tip of Manhattan, taking the Brooklyn Bridge over to Brooklyn

We rode through a beautiful section of Brooklyn -

and into Prospect Park (another place I was last weekend!).

We rode along the water for a while. This was one of my favorite parts of the whole day (not sure what section of Brooklyn this is) -

That bike path/greenway had a stunning view of the Verrazano Bridge -

Riding along that path, there was the sound of seagulls and the familiar smell of salt water, which I really enjoyed. And once I noticed this handsome bird, I couldn't resist stopping to photograph him -

We stayed on Surf Ave, past Coney Island (again, where I was just two weeks ago). I only stopped for a minute to eat a vegan sandwich I had packed. But many cyclists lined up for some Nathan's -

Riding past a bunch of docked boats, I thought "I should photograph a boat" and just as I looked up, I saw one that was named after me! (sort of) What a coincidence!

I love this sign so much!

Around 11am, I stopped for the first time all day - the first time - since 7am! I had to use the bathroom, so I had no choice. Fortunately, I also got some free and healthy snacks at that rest stop. I also asked the mechanic to look at my bike because it was stopping really abruptly all day and just felt very tight - hard to pedal and even harder to stop. They couldn't find a problem and told me to carry on...

From there I rode through some very desolate, remote and unattractive sections of Brooklyn - places I had never been and will likely never be again. Places, dare I say, that were not worth photographing.

It was certainly a diverse ride through the Borough of Kings. But I swear, whomever mapped out this route made sure to find EVERY possible hill in Brooklyn. I couldn't even believe some of the steep hills we had to climb! But I climbed every last one of them.

Then we rode on Eastern Parkway (I know I sound like a broken record, but I rode there last weekend too!) which is a beautiful, tree lined bike/pedestrian path -

From there, we headed through Williamsburg and Greenpoint - a route I am *very* familiar with, literally passing the block I live on. I could have left the tour at that moment, but I did not.

I crossed the Pulaski Bridge again -

and headed back to Queens, to the 59th St Bridge (does this sound familiar? It should, it's the same way I started the tour this morning!)

and made my way back to the 110th St entrance of Central Park, shortly before 2pm, where they had a great cheering team of young ladies! Thank you, gals! You also did a great job!

I was told by many people throughout the day that I win the award for "most stylish", but they all admitted there was no actual award. That's ok, the verbal award was enough for me. And I heard from the marshals that they had *never* seen anyone do this tour in heels. I was proud to be the first!

I collected my goody bag, with t-shirt -

I met a nice young woman from Transportation Alternatives, who thanked me for promoting the tour (she saw me on Brokelyn) -

And like that, it was over. I had done it. But I still had to bike home.

I headed south on 5th Ave and over the Queensboro Bridge (yes, this IS the third time I crossed this bridge today) -

and over the Pulaski Bridge for the 3rd time too (but I was too exhausted to pull over and take a photo). I continued into Greenpoint, along Manhattan Ave, and decided to give into my insatiable desire for beer. A celebratory beer. Where else but at Habitat - because I love their waffle fries!

I think that might have been the BEST beer I ever had in my life.

Unfortunately, after leaving there, I took my bike straight to B's Bikes because it had been acting weird. They were kind enough to congratulate me on today's ride (and I initiated high fives to many of the staff). I explained the situation to Andre, who I adore, and left her there for the night in their very capable hands.

I removed my odometer before dropping her off and the final reading for the day was 70.7 miles!

Exhausted, I walked back home, where I took an 'after' picture. Look at how frizzy my pigtails are -

and modeled my new t-shirt!

I almost can't believe it's over, and that I did it as fast as I did. Of course it helped that the weather cooperated and there were a lot less people than the 5 Boro. It was a great ride and great day. Maybe I'll attempt the 75 mile next year. But I should probably get a 'real' bike. I am thinking this might be my dream bike.

Heck, if I saved for an iPod, I can save for this, right?

(Note: All of today's photos can be see here)

Thinking Beyond Taste, Part 2

2009-09-13T06:00:00.002-04:00

Since posting my "Thinking Beyond Taste" blog, I've continued to give this concept a lot of thought. In fact, I think of it every day - especially when I am going to eat. I question why I am eating - am I eating because I am actually hungry or because I want the *taste* of something? This thought process and awareness has been life changing for me.

What I have finally realized in the last few years is that losing weight is about so much more than just weighing less. I've completely reframed the entire process, and changed how I think about what I am doing. I realized that I had to stop focusing on trying to control my weight. Instead, I needed to focus on controlling my food and behaviors. By getting the food and behaviors under control - the things I truly have control over - then the weight will be under control as a result.

It's a point I try to make often because I want it to click for everyone reading this - you have no control over what that scale does on any given day - so don't let it bother you. Focus on what you CAN control - your food and behaviors.

Another way I've changed my thought process is that think about what I am doing, and think about when and why I choose the foods that I choose. I think that in order to be successful longterm, this self awareness is paramount. One of those specific thoughts was what helped me to eliminate most packaged food from my diet - I mentioned a while ago that when I decided to eliminate artificial foods and artificial ingredients, I did it by just changing how I viewed those foods. I began to look at those things for what they truly are: chemicals. They are NOT food, and therefore, I am not putting them into my body. That simple awareness and thought process has made it automatic and easy for me to resist those foods. I'm not even tempted by foods that haunted me for years! All because I've become repulsed by them. I don't even view them as food - they're *not* food. I finally see them for what they are - garbage that tastes good but has zero nutritional value. Because of that awareness, they have no power over me any longer.

I want to tell you about my good friend Meirav, who I have known for 10 years. She and I were always the "big, pretty girls" and our weight has fluctuated a lot since we've known each other, but we were always plus-sized (for lack of a better term). However, I am beyond proud of her because she has now lost close to 100 pounds!! I finally got to see the new her for the first time recently, and we were chatting about our revelations and how much better it feels to be healthy and in control of ourselves and our food, she said something to me that I thought summed it up so nicely: "Ice cream is good. But it's not THAT good."

I knew exactly what she meant. Yes, food is good. It tastes good. We enjoy the taste of food. But that doesn't mean we need to eat excessively. Just because food tastes good is no reason to let it rule our lives, or affect our lives negatively. I have given food far too much power over me for far too long. Why? Because I was eating for the wrong reasons. I was eating for taste. Not any more.

Since most of you do not know Meirav, here I am with her in 2007 -

And here she is today -

An absolutely amazing transformation (and seriously adorable photoshoot!). I'm so happy for her!

As for thinking beyond taste, I also use other strategies for how I think about food before I consume it - If I acknowledge to myself that I am not hungry and am going to eat something that I merely *want*, I know I am eating for taste. I remind myself that "If I eat it now, I will feel good for the brief time the item is in my mouth. If I do NOT eat it now, I will feel good for the rest of the day." That relatively simple concept and thought process works more often than not. I like to think that what I have done is switch the reward from the instant gratification of a taste to the instant and prolonged gratification of making the right choice.

I am not saying this is necessarily easy, but awareness is the first step, and it does get easier over time. If you think this is high level stuff, it kind of is. When I first started three years ago, I did not think this way and I would have told you that "I'm going to eat my Snickers and Lemonheads because I love them, and you can't stop me!" If that's where you are right now, I understand, I was there too for most of my life. And I'm not telling anyone not to eat something - you get to choose what you put in your body. I'm just asking you to think about *why* you're eating. If you are eating for taste, remind yourself that food's real purpose is to nourish your body. If you are eating for taste, and not because of hunger, consider what you are really looking for when you eat those things - it's more than likely emotional. Be aware of those moments and consider other (non food) responses. But think about it. Think beyond taste.

*and just tonight I found an envelope of photos titled "My Really Fat Pictures". The title does not lie. It was during my depressed/goth phase where I had long black hair and had not yet figured out how to groom my eyebrows *shudder* They are awful and I look horrendous. But I scanned them for an upcoming blog so I can embarrass myself publicly. I seriously can't even believe it's me!!!

Biking Adventures: Preparing for the Century Tour

2009-09-11T21:52:00.004-04:00

Well it's here! The weekend of the NYC Century Tour! To prepare, I rode a LOT last weekend. I wanted to make sure I had the endurance I am going to need this Sunday. I didn't have one big final destination as my goal, just a lot of riding around Brooklyn and into Manhattan. Here's what I did and are some of my favorite photos from the two days.

First of all, Saturday, I had no luck in my endeavor -

I left my apartment with the intention of going to Gorilla Coffee, then Prospect Park, with a ride around the outside of Greenwood Cemetery, where bikes are apparently not allowed. Here are some photos of that morning's ride through Williamsburg-

I love this message on South 4th St in Williamsburg-

I have been trying to get this shot for 2 years, but normally pass this area at dusk and it photographs terribly. This is the first time I caught it in morning light. Perfect! (Kent Ave with the Williamsburg Bridge in the background)

I made it to Gorilla Coffee (5 miles away) and was next in line when it suddenly occurred to me "I remember taking the water pitcher out of the fridge to fill it up, but I don't remember putting it back in the refrigerator. Did I leave the kitchen sink on?!" Now yes, dear blog readers, I know I have a bit of the OCD but checking and rechecking things is not one of my afflictions. I actually HAVE done this before while in my apartment - began filling up the water pitcher, left the kitchen and came back to a huge mess. So the fact that I had no mental recollection (I have a photographic memory) of turning off the sink or putting the pitcher away, there was a pretty good chance I had left it on.

I left Gorilla Coffee and biked back home, which took nearly an hour. As if that wasn't bad enough, on the way home, my chain fell off my bike! This was pretty terrifying and had never happened to me before. When this happened, I had no control over my bike - I couldn't pedal and had no breaks (I have a one speed with no hand breaks)! I was on Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, around South 2nd or 3rd St when this happened, and headed slightly downhill. I had to think fast so I didn't kill myself. I pulled onto the sidewalk, angling back uphill and into a fence to force myself to a stop. Like I said, VERY SCARY! I managed to figure out how to get the chain back on after a few minutes, but I was still freaked out.

After that ordeal I made it home, ran into the kitchen where I found the sink NOT on and the water pitcher full and in the refrigerator. I couldn't even believe it!

I left the apartment again, headed for the same places. I got about 2 miles away from my apartment when the chain came off again, this time on Wythe just past Division. Again I put it on and continued riding. Not half a mile away, it came off AGAIN by Flushing! Again, I had to stop carefully and put it back on. I also had to retrieve my shoe which came off my foot in the confusion about a half a block before I could stop (no comments on my inappropriate footwear, thank you!) Now I realized I needed to go to the bike shop. I could not ride like this.

So I headed back towards home, to B's Bikes. On the way there, riding along Kent, the chain came off yet again - this time getting trapped behind a bolt. I sat there on the sidewalk in the blazing sun for a good 10 minutes before I could even retrieve the chain, but once I did, I finally got it back on the bike. And then I proceeded very cautiously (I noticed that coasting or hitting any sort of bump in the road made the chain pop off so I tried to keep pedaling, choosing inclined streets and smooth surface areas), and finally arrived at the bike shop.

The owner, Brendan, was outside and I practically begged him for an emergency repair. I told him what happened and showed him my hands and nails, which were covered in black grease. He simply told me the chain was too loose and this happens over time. He took out a screwdriver and moved the wheel back, which tightened the chain and charged me 2 dollars. (That's all?! I nearly killed myself and that's all it was?!) I tried to give him more money, but he wouldn't take it. That has to be the nicest bike shop on the planet.

Finally, 3 hours after I set out for my journey, I had done nothing and was back at the beginning. I decided the coffee shop and park were not meant to happen, so instead I went to Target on Atlantic Ave to pick up a few things.

Look at this beautiful old subway entrance-

One of my favorite buildings in Brooklyn, the old Williamsburgh Savings Bank (tallest building in Brooklyn)-

Beautiful buildings in Brooklyn-

I watched a seagull fight traffic for a while as he tried to eat a large piece of pizza-

I don't know where or when I captured this shot. It was accidental, but I like it!

This is a great Police Headquarters building (at least that's how it's labeled) that looks like it's straight out of the movies. I found this on Bergen St by 6th Ave in Brooklyn-

I returned home from Target with my goodies and had biked a total of 34 miles on Saturday. That was ok, but not enough...

On Sunday, since my bike was repaired, I knew I would do my big ride, so I took out my map to plan my way to Prospect Park, but Littleton thought this was an invitation to show off his cuteness. While super cute, it was not at all helpful!

I made my way to Grand Army Plaza, Brooklyn -

And from there I entered Prospect Park, where I did 3 laps around the park. It was my first time I got to bike around the whole park. It's nice, and a little hilly at points but it's only about 3.5 miles around. It reminded me of Central Park, just much, much smaller.

While I was there I heard someone yell "Bitch Cakes!". I turned around to find a woman I didn't recognize. But once she introduced herself, I knew exactly who she was - she had emailed me a while ago from the website Brokelyn. We chatted for a while, and her friend took this photo of me, which she used in an article on the website this week! (Thanks Faye! Nice meeting you!)

I left the park but only had done about 20 miles. I called my Dad to find out where he was working that day so I could pay him a visit. He was in midtown, on the west side. So I headed to DUMBO and over the Manhattan Bridge (since I hate the asshole cyclists on the Brooklyn Bridge - seriously those are the most obnoxious cyclists on the planet!), then headed west and north.

When I got to the location my Dad had told me, I couldn't find the store, so I stopped to call him. And boy is it a good thing I did! If I had not stopped at that exact moment and missed that light, the following events would have never occurred...

So I was standing there, waiting for the light to turn so I could cross the street. I heard a woman walk behind me and stop on my right. I did not see her but I think I subconsciously recognized her voice because I turned to look at her (something I rarely do) and who was it, but KRISTEN SCHAAL! From my favorite show, Flight of the Conchords!!! I just about squealed, I was so excited! I probably went a little fan crazy on her telling her that I saw her at Radio City earlier this year, and that I love the show, she's awesome yada yada. She was so nice and down to earth, she was asking me about my bike/ride/what I was doing. I explained I was doing a big bike ride today and was up to 23 miles so far but wanted to hit at least 40. We chatted a few minutes (she even asked about my 'dead cat' tattoo, RIP Smokey, I miss you!!!) and of course I asked her to take a photo with me, which she kindly obliged to (good thing she had someone with her to snap it!)

It was such a whirlwind conversation and experience that I didn't even get to ask her what the odds are of Jemaine Clement going out with me. Damnit! That was probably my only chance! Anyway, she told me to say hi to my Dad and we went on about our lives.

After visiting my Dad, where I told him all about my run in with Kristen, I "twizzled" (my Dad calls tweeting "twizzling") the encounter. Then I left the store all smiles. I couldn't believe my good luck running into her. I would have never been on that corner or in that neighborhood if I had not gone to visit my Dad. The fact that I was there the exact second that she was blew my mind. Awesome!!

I still had about an hour and a half of daylight and I had to get at least 40 miles in, so I headed to the west side bike path and biked north - all the way up to 88th Street.

I then biked south on Riverside Drive and on 11th Ave. I took this shot of the New Yorker Hotel and Empire State Building from 35th Street-

As I passed through the West Village, I captured this sign again. I just love the neon (even though I would never eat there)

And then I found this great sign on Bleecker St-

When I finally made it back to Greenpoint, I was up to 48 miles. So I biked around my neighborhood for a little while longer till I pulled up in front of my apartment -

That's right, I did just over 50 miles that one day! And I felt awesome! That means over the course of the two days I had biked 85 miles! I am sure I'm ready for Sunday's 65 or so. We are even supposed to have nice weather! Now I just need to plan an outfit...

Weekly Meeting Topic: Eating Out

2009-09-08T20:34:00.006-04:00

This week's meeting was about eating out. I covered this topic pretty extensively twice before in previous meeting blogs (see here and here), and I don't think there is much more I can say.

So instead of recapping all the same info I already covered, I will mention that I went to a different meeting tonight after work in Manhattan (since my regular weekly meeting was on Labor Day and WW was closed). I really liked the leader - she was a petite, young woman who took off 65 pounds. Despite her age, she really impressed me. She had some great points during the meeting and I enjoyed her meeting style. So much so, that I am considering making this my new weekly meeting. Of course that means I can no longer go to my favorite bar to blog after the Brooklyn meeting, but that might work out because my internet connection stopped working in there a while ago. And as it gets colder/darker, I won't be riding my bike anymore - and I don't like bringing my laptop on the bus. So maybe this will all work out. I am going to give it some serious thought...

One thing I will mention about tonight's meeting was when the leader asked what we do if we over-indulge during a restaurant meal. I replied, and stated what I try to mention here all the time: You forgive yourself and move on. Start over at the next meal/tomorrow.

After years of trying to lose weight unsuccessfully, I got to the point where I no longer beat myself up over bad choices - because I know how counter productive it is. The bottom line is that you cannot and will not be perfect all the time, if ever. You can't go back and un-do what you did (and I don't purge, nor do I advocate purging). All you can do is move forward - learn from your mistakes and make better choices next time. But it's important to not let it bother you, because that can further affect your choices negatively.

I firmly believe that and live by that philosophy. Coming around to that way of thinking is one of the most important changes I have made in how I view what I am doing and is one of the reasons for my success.

Then the leader mentioned something to drive the point home even further, and I thought this was brilliant. Remember - It was not ONE MEAL that got you to your breaking point or where you are right now. So if that one meal was less than ideal, keep it at that - ONE MEAL. Don't let that one meal snowball into more - remind yourself that ONE MEAL did not get you to your highest weight. Because if you let that one meal affect you negatively, that will turn into another meal, and another and another.

And in closing, there was a quote on the board that I liked "One important key to success is self confidence. One important key to self confidence is preparedness."

I'm glad I hit that meeting tonight, I feel really good about the coming week. Have a great one, everyone!

Biking Adventures: Coney Island

2009-09-02T20:06:00.008-04:00

I first want to say thank you all for the tremendous feedback in my last blog. I am sorry I can't respond to the comments (my reason behind this is because I only have so much time, and I have to choose between responding to comments or writing a new blog. I will always choose writing a new blog); but I just want to make sure you all know that I always read everything and appreciate the insight and supportive, encouraging words. If you ever really need an answer to something, email me bitchcakes@nyc.rr.com and I will reply to you directly. But it usually takes a week or two...

Since going back to work after my birthday week off, I've been missing my bike. I had ridden 25+ miles a day for over a week now I was suddenly in withdrawl. This past Sunday I kept the day free so I could get out for a long ride, but I wasn't sure where to go. As luck would have it, I found out the night before that there was a Punk Rope class going on in Coney Island on Sunday afternoon. Perfect! I now had a geographic goal!

Here are some highlights. Enjoy!

Here I am in Greenpoint, just before leaving for Coney Island (I wanted to show off my hair before my helmet messed it up) -

And after a beautiful day and 13.5 mile bike ride, I made it to Coney Island! First, a brief video I took while biking on the boardwalk (please disregard the sad excuse for music that is blaring in the background)-

I wandered around a while and took some shots of the attractions -

I like posing with this guy at the clam bar. I did it last year too.

I briefly visited the punk rope class that was going on in an old theater on the boardwalk (I did not participate)-

Around then realized I was craving something salty. I wanted fries! So I stopped at Nathan's-

And I ordered the "regular" sized fries- which was posted with a staggering 685 calories (hey, how many times do I go to Coney Island?) but I ate them anyway -

After that, it was another 13.5 miles home and a few more miles around the neighborhood. By the time I got home, I had biked 30 miles. Not so bad!

And when I peeled off my clothes, I realized I had gotten some color on the tops of my legs... through my fishnets. How funny is this?

My goal is to get out for one more giant bike ride this coming weekend - 40 miles - because the following weekend is the NYC Century Tour! I signed up for the 55 mile tour (which comes to 65 when I count getting to and from the starting point in Central Park).

I would say that I hope we have nice weather that day, but honestly, I don't care. After riding 10 hours in the rain for the 5 Boro, I feel like I can handle anything!

(Note: The entire day's photos can be seen here)

Weekly Meeting Topic: Lose for Good (and my Monumental Treadmill Experience)

2009-08-31T18:20:00.004-04:00

Tonight was a sort of non-meeting. The topic was Weight Watchers' Lose for Good campaign. You can read about it on their website, but I don't think it's worth covering here, so I'll talk about something pretty exciting that happened today...

Today William (my awesome co-worker) and I went to the gym at lunch time. Normally I do 35 minutes of cardio on an eliptical/cross trainer type of machine. But today I wanted to challenge myself - I wanted to do something that I had never done and had been considering for some time...

You may not know this about me but I hate running. I have always hated running, since I was a child. And I've never run more than tiny bursts at a time - complaining about it before, during and after. Why have I always hated running so much?

I used to get terrible ankle pain from the impact (I rarely get this now, I think it went away as a result of the weight loss)
I get out of breath fast/easily
I hate feeling things moving/shaking on my body (This is one reason why I love tight clothes. I love to feel 'held in'.)
My thighs are, and have always been, huge - walking is hard enough!

But lately I have been thinking about attempting to run. In small doses, of course. I've been motivated by a few things -

My punk rope instructor observed that I am a great sprinter in class. He was right - I do run fast, and well, in short bursts (but I need recovery time).
Since visiting my allergist earlier this year and realizing the cause of my congestion and how to fix it, I can breathe better than ever. (dust covers for my bedding and a nasal rinse)
I am still so impressed by my amazing friend Jordana, who I mentioned ran the NYC marathon last year. While I have no intention of ever doing that, I am motivated by her accomplishment.
My WW receptionist mentioned a race she's doing soon. She told me they have to run 3 miles in 45 minutes. I realized that if I can walk a mile in 17 minutes (my normal pace), I only need to push myself a little faster to hit 15 minutes.

And today, quite unexpectedly, when we arrived at the gym, I told myself "Today's the day I run!" and I got on the treadmill for the first time.

Now, I have always avoided the treadmill for two reasons:

I walk a lot every day already, very fast, which I do not consider exercise. So I couldn't see the point of walking indoors on a motorized track. I would rather spend my workout time doing something I can't do otherwise.
Oh yeah, I HATE RUNNING.

But today I told myself - Just do it. Do intervals - walk fast for a few minutes, then run for a minute, back to fast walking, running, etc. Push yourself and don't stop. You can do it!

And I actually DID IT! In total, I ran at least 10 minutes in the 35. My walking pace was 3.6 - 3.8 (my normal walking speed) and I ran at 5.6 - 5.8 for a minute or so at a time. I felt amazing! Even as I was running, I couldn't believe I was doing it and and was even more surprised that I didn't feel like I was going to die.

That, single handedly, is the most running I have ever done in a single day and I'm so proud of myself. At the end of the 35 minutes, I did 2.5 miles, making my average speed 4.28. That gives me a nice baseline so I can monitor my progress next time. (The only weird thing was that when I got off the treadmill, I felt very strange - a little lightheaded and it felt like I was walking on air. Is that normal? William was concerned for me but I was fine after about 10 minutes. I'm just wondering what that was all about.)

So that was a great victory for me today, and I want to incorporate some interval walking/running as part of my regular routine. Maybe one day I'll even enjoy running. Who knows? Stranger things have happened...

Recipe: Pesto!

2009-08-28T20:24:00.000-04:00

If you thought you had to avoid pesto because you're watching calories or points, think again. This is a super simple and points friendly pesto you can make in 5 minutes!

I found this simple recipe on the Weight Watchers website years ago -

Ingredients:

2 Tbsp Pine Nuts
2 cups Basil leaves, fresh
1/2 cups reduced sodium vegetable broth
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese (I left this out)
1 Tbsp Olive Oil
2 medium Garlic Cloves, peeled
1/2 tsp table salt

Here is a photo of my ingredients:

Place nuts in a small skillet and set pan over medium heat-

Cook until nuts are golden, shaking pan frequently to prevent burning, about 3 minutes -

Transfer nuts to a plate to cool.

In a blender or food processor, combine nuts, broth, cheese, oil, garlic and salt;

Process until smooth and thick. (I have no photos of the final product, but it looks like the photo in the recipe shot from the website.)

Yields about 1/4 cup per serving (2 points per serving)

I especially recommend using this recipe if you have extra basil on hand and want to use it before it goes bad, you can make and refrigerate the pesto for months. And it goes without say that it's fantastic as a topping for macaroni or a spread on the base of bruschetta too.

Mangia!

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but plagiarism is just wrong!

2009-08-27T20:11:00.006-04:00

from dictionary.com:

pla⋅gia⋅rism

the unauthorized use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one's own original work.
something used and represented in this manner.

Recently, a blog reader of mine alerted me to the fact that another blogger stole a part of my blog from May 11th and posted it as her own on May 12th. Obviously, this did not sit well with me.

This is how her blog looked when I first became aware of it, and viewed it on 8/15 (you may need to click on the image and view the larger size on Flickr if you want to be able to view the words)-

I left her a comment -

Hi, I'm Sheryl, the author of a good chunk of what you used here in your Metabolism blog. You stole it from MY metabolism blog, posted here:
http://msbitchcakes.blogspot.com/2009/05/weekly-meeting-topic-metabolism.html

This is PLAGIARISM. If you don't know what that means, look it up. I am asking you to remove MY content from your blog immediately. Had you asked to link to my blog, I would have had no problem with that. But the fact that you TOOK MY WORDS and posted them as your own is wrong! Do not use my blog as a source of reference for your own blog and do not claim my words to be yours. This is not acceptable.

This all occurred the first day of my vacation, but I did not want to spend my glorious week off dealing with it, so I didn't return to her blog until today. She never allowed my comment to be posted, and never replied to me on my blog, but I see she did indeed remove the entire section she stole from me. This is how the same entry appears now, minus my section on metabolism.

I am thankful she removed my words, however, I have yet to go through the rest of her blog to see if she stole anything else from me. And I am aware of the fact that she also stole a recipe from the person who informed me of the plagiarism. Therefore, I thought it only fair to make you all aware of her blog too, she may have stolen from you as well.

As I told her, I have no problem with anyone linking to me and giving me credit when appropriate, but outright theft of words - mine or anyone else's - is obviously wrong. I sincerely hope this is the last time I need to deal with something like this.

This blog brings me great joy and satisfaction - sharing my own personal views, experiences and revelations; and hearing your own stories, or comments telling me that something I said resonated with you is so rewarding. But all of the words and thoughts expressed here are mine. No one has the right to pass them off as their own.

Thank you, anonymous reader, who noticed this and brought it to my attention. I would not have known about this if not for you. I hope your recipes have been removed as well.

Weekly Meeting Topic: Does it feel like you're climbing a mountain

2009-08-25T11:09:00.003-04:00

In tonight's meeting, the leader asked us if we ever feel like we're climbing up a mountain, struggling with our weight loss journey.

I had to think really hard about if I ever felt that it was that difficult. I think the only time it may have felt a little like that was in the beginning, when I was overwhelmed, and knew I had all the work in front of me. But maybe because I have been through this before, I also had realistic expectations - I know that some days or moments are difficult but I also know that those tough times don't last. The trick is to hang in there - ride through them, and get past them as quickly as possible, while learning what you can from the challenge so you can handle it better next time.

It's an analogy that occurs to me every time I ride my bike up one of the bridge ramps getting into or out of Manhattan - those are always the most difficult portions of my rides. As I'm doing those climbs, I acknowledge that it's challenging and I may be going slower than I'd like at that point, but I know that I'm not in a race, so I don't care how long it takes me. I just need to keep pedaling, one foot at a time, and I will get there when I get there. All that matters is that I do not stop, I do not give up. Because even though it's a little tough at that point, I know it's temporary. Not long after that the ground levels off and eventually I'll even be coasting down hill, enjoying the ride and thinking about how rewarding that portion is because I know I made it through the hard part to get there.

Those bike rides across the bridges are really a perfect metaphor for the whole weight loss journey, or most other things in life - There are hard parts, there are easy parts. You need to figure out the best way to deal with the harder parts and appreciate the easy parts. All that matters is that you do not quit. You must persevere, and learn along the way.

But if you do feel like your weight loss efforts are that daunting and difficult, like you take one step forward and two steps back, I encourage you to put some time and effort into analyzing what part of your journey feels that way - what, in particular, is so challenging to you? Think about it and make a list. Is it having time to prepare meals? Is it figuring out the points? Is it finding new foods you enjoy that are healthy? Is it staying within your points? Really think about when and why you feel that way. When you've figured out what is so challenging, it will be easier to come up with solutions for those things. Because if you have a vague sentiment of "this is so hard", there is nowhere to go with that. You need to figure out *what* you find difficult so you can brainstorm some solutions. And if those solutions don't work, try something else. But at least you've layed the ground work- you know where the problem is, you can go from there.

That's one reason I do recommend the meetings- they are great for asking for help. I can pretty much guarantee that whatever your issue is, someone else has had it, and likely has tips and ideas for helping you work past them.

It all comes back to acknowledging that this is a lifelong journey - not a quick or easy fix. It won't be perfect, it won't be predictable, and it won't be pleasant at times. All that matters is you remember the big picture - why you are doing it - and make a commitment to yourself that you will continue to do it, no matter how many times you fall down or how challenging it gets at times.

It's not a race. You don't need to finish first or be the fastest. You just need to be persistent and never give up.

*Bitch Cakes*: A Neurotic Glamour Girl's Weight Watchers Experience and Fitness Adventures

Weekly Meeting Topic: Strategies for Staying Motivated through the Holidays

Success is the confidence to wear a bodysuit in public

Biggest Loser: I finally <3 Jillian

Review: Polar F4 Heart Rate Monitor

Weekly Meeting Topic: Eating Healthier the Easier Way

How and why I started working out after 35 years of Slothfulness

Weekly Meeting Topic: Taking Care of Yourself

Fitness Adventures: My First 5K

Recipe: Vegan Pumpkin Pancakes

Weekly Meeting Topic: Shaking it up on WW (and links to my guest blog posts for Fred Flare)

Weekly Meeting Topic: Managing Feelings without Eating

Fat Photos of me from my gothic phase in the early 90's

A Day on Plan - My Food Journal and Activity Log

The Best and Worst in Vegan Food Finds!

Weekly Meeting Topic: Goal Setting

Biggest Loser 8: Season Premiere (and my own grueling gym experience)

Biking: The NYC Century Tour Wrap Up

Thinking Beyond Taste, Part 2

Biking Adventures: Preparing for the Century Tour

Weekly Meeting Topic: Eating Out

Biking Adventures: Coney Island

Weekly Meeting Topic: Lose for Good (and my Monumental Treadmill Experience)

Recipe: Pesto!

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but plagiarism is just wrong!

Weekly Meeting Topic: Does it feel like you're climbing a mountain

Bitch Cakes: A Neurotic Glamour Girl's Weight Watchers Experience and Fitness Adventures