Bitch Cakes: A Neurotic Glamour Girl's Weight Watchers Experience and Fitness Adventures

Reader Question: What was hardest to give up when you started and how did you deal with it?

2009-12-09T16:41:00.008-05:00

You may recall that earlier this year I mentioned I was going to post a FAQ blog. I still have not done that, but now that I have a netbook and can get more done on the train, I am working to get caught up...

When I asked you for questions for my FAQ blog, one of the questions I received was from a woman named Nirvana (not sure if that's her real name, but it's a great one). She asked me:

"What did you find hardest to give up / reduce when you started your weight loss journey, and how did you deal with it?"
I thought that was such a great question, and the answer was too big for the FAQ blog. I also have a feeling that many people who might be afraid to start their own journey have a similiar question and fear, so I thought it was worth addressing-

When I first read her question, my immediate thought turned to "what food was hardest to give up". But I am not sure that is how she intended it, and I couldn't think of a particular food that her question applied to. Thinking further about this question, I realized that what I was afraid of 'giving up' were other things...

Although I started my journey over 3 years ago, I remember being afraid before I joined. Part of me was afraid because I had done this already and gained the weight back (several times), but mostly I was afraid simply because I *knew* I would have to "give stuff up" as Nirvana mentioned. Having been a member on and off since 1989, I pretty much knew what I was getting into and I knew that no food was off limits, so that wasn't what scared me so much. The fears I had were more situation related.

Obviously in order to change my weight, I would need to change some significant stuff in my life. And any change can be pretty scary! I actually remember writing a list of things I was afraid of giving up or reducing prior to joining. It was basically all the changes I knew that were in store for me. I don't know where this list is now or if I still have it, but these are a few of my fears that I remember listing:

being hungry
weekly dinner dates
brunch with friends
occasional dinners with Dad
the temptation of a million great take out places in my neighborhood

I remember that after I compiled the list, I looked at it and thought "Really? That's what's holding me back? That's so ridiculous! I'm letting THOSE THINGS keep me 200 pounds and miserable?!"

So how did I deal with them, as Nirvana asked? Like most of this journey, so much of it begins in your head. I'd estimate the journey is 90% mental, 10% physical. I had to think about my reasons. Why was I afraid of these things?

Fear #1: Being hungry.
Realistically, at 200 pounds, I knew my body was used to having a certain amount of food and I knew that once I started plan I would be eating less food and experience actual physical hunger pains. That was something I hadn't felt in a while because I was too busy keeping myself stuffed to ever experience them.

How did I deal with knowing I would soon feel hunger pains?
I reminded myself that I was not starving myself and I was, in fact, not going to die of hunger. It was good that I would be feeling them because it meant I wasn't overeating anymore. Even though I realized all that, it scared me. What was I scared of? Why was I so afraid of being hungry? Is it an evolutionary thing? Or was I just so used to gorging myself senseless? Or was there an underlying issue? Did the hunger = emtpiness and loneliness for me? Probably a little bit of everything.

Fear #2 - 5: Dining out
At the time, I probably consumed at least 10 meals a week outside of my home. I often indulged in take out, brunch, pizza, dinners and literally whatever else I felt like eating on a whim. I knew that (duh!) in order to lose weight, I could no longer eat the same way.

How did I deal with that?
At first, I decided to avoid restaurants and outside food establishments. I knew that (for me) in order to feel in control, I needed to prepare my own food. And I also knew that emotionally I was not ready to handle those food situations (ie restaurants), so I choose to avoid them. I needed to focus on my portions and healthy eating and I was committed to doing that in the comfort and safety of my own home. Eventually, when I was ready, I knew I could return to restaurants if I wanted to. I also did something else very important - I asserted myself: I told the guy I was dating and my friends that I was taking a break from eating out, at least temporarily. But to tell you the truth, although I *can* work dining out into plan, I have not embraced it even to this day. As most people close to me know, I rarely eat a meal out. And I don't miss it. In fact, I don't enjoy eating out which is why I rarely do it.

If you're considering changing your life but have this same fear about 'giving things up', I think this is a great exercise for you to do. Think about what it is that you are worried about - Why are you afraid of (I am going to reframe this here and not say "giving up") CHANGING? Be honest with yourself. There are no right or wrong answers. Jot down your own list of what is holding you back. You may be surprised how silly some of it is. And you may have a moment similar to mine where you realize the stuff you will have to *change* is pretty insignificant compared to the life that is waiting for you once you make those changes.

And once you do begin, and start feeling better (mentally before physically), I can pretty much even guarantee you will ask yourself "Why did I wait so long? Why did I let those things hold me back?".

Thank you for the question, Nirvana. I am only sorry it took me so long to respond!

Weekly Meeting Topic: Reframing Stress

2009-12-08T20:11:00.010-05:00

At this week's meeting, we received shiny new pocket guides and the first issue of a new series of weekly pamphlets that are only available at meetings, called Weight Watchers Weekly. (I hear they are only available for meeting members, so if you're an online member I think you're out of luck.) I haven't even had a chance to look at it yet, I'm saving it for the bus tomorrow morning. I want to get this blog out so I can watch the season finale of The Biggest Loser, even though I'm not rooting for anyone in particular in the final 4, and I expect Rudy to win - though I don't want him to because he voted out Rebecca. I do hope Rebecca gets the at home prize and quite honestly, I hope I don't even have to look at that crazy bitch Tracy! Anyway...

We talked about stress and how it can affect, and derail, our weight loss efforts. That's probably a no brainer. Stress tends to affect myriad aspects of our lives... if we let it.

Then we talked about different things that cause us stress and other strategies for coping with those things. You may realize that by doing this you are using one of my favorite Weight Watchers Tools for Living, Reframing. To use the reframing tool, think about why you do certain things (in this case: dealing with stress), then think what you get from that behavior you engage in. Then think of something else - non food related - that you can do to get that same reward.

To show how this works in practice, I will give you one of my own personal examples:

One of the behaviors I had to work on was stress-related eating at work. Certain people and situations could sometimes put me over the edge and I would react by mindlessly eating food, usually really bad food. But I did not want to merely substitute 'bad' food with 'good' food. I wanted to work on that behavior and not reach for food in those situations at all.

This is how I did that:

First, I had to be aware of the whole series of events - The people/situations that tended to make me eat poorly and mindlessly.
Then I had to think about why I was engaged in that behavior - what was it getting me? It temporarily (very temporarily) distracted me and comforted me. But of course when I finished eating, I felt worse - stuffed with food and unneeded calories and the original problem was *still* there! So obviously that was not a good solution to the problem. So why was I doing it? Turning to the food provided a distraction and temporary feeling of pleasure.
Then I had to think about how else could I get that (a distraction/happiness) without food? I decided to start walking; either outside or on the stairs. At the very least, I knew that I needed to remove myself form the situation temporarily, by at least getting up from my desk.

And that is how I handle those situations now. When I have that overwhelmed feeling of stress at work, I do not reach for food. Not even carrots or 'healthy' food. I remind myself that the food is NOT GOING TO HELP. I force myself to get up and walk, even if it's just for a few minutes, to clear my head and focus and get over that initial desire to reach for food.

Don't get me wrong - It took a while for me to get to the point where the new behavior now comes naturally, which isn't to say I am not still tempted to eat in those situations. Sometimes I am. But having handled the situation better numerous times now, I am so much better equipped to handle it better every time it happens.

Reframing. It's your friend. Try it!

Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

I tracked 7 days! Approximately 90% of everything I ate this week. That's great progress!
I think this is a first ever: I took my vitamins everyday! And as of tomorrow, I am going to start taking them in the mornings instead. (thank you all for your input on that!)
I did not track the night before as I thought I would try, but the 'point goals' I set up really worked for me. I'm going to continue to stick within my point goals (7 for breakfast, 8 for lunch, 5 for dinner = my daily total of 20.)
I made two new vegetables this week: 1) I baked 4 sweet potatoes earlier this week and had them ready in the fridge when I needed them. I eat them like bananas. I love them!!! 2) I had collard greens for the first time ever @ Punk Rope happy hour last week and loved them instantly. Since then I have bought 2 batches of collard greens and have used them in various 'throw together' recipes, like the Vegan Apple Sage Sausage recipe I blogged about.
I tried grits for the first time and loved them too! My new favorite breakfast at work is grits with 1/4 cup pumpkin and some cinnamon. The grits themselves are fairly bland and taste kind of like corn, but what I like is they are warm (like oatmeal) and there's a ton of iron, which I need. Awesome!
I seriously did some amazing crosses in punk rope last week. I wish you all could have seen me. You'll have to take my word for it.
I can't believe this, but I hit over 2000 readers last week! I never in my wildest dreams imagined having so many readers. Thank you all! :)

What do I want to work towards next week?

Continue with my tracking, including using my 'point goals' as described above.
Calibrate my sneakers (I know, I know, I can't believe I haven't done this yet either!)
Get my lab results from my doctor so I can show off how fantastic they are.

In closing, there was a *great* quote on the board tonight. Please read this twice and really think about it: "Stress isn't what happens to us. It's our response to what happens. And response is something we choose.", Author: Maureen Killoran (sp?)

I thought that was an amazingly powerful quote and a great new way to think about stress. What's a new way to think about something? Oh yeah, reframing! What a great tool that reframing is! No wonder I love it so much! Remember, if you have CONTROL over something, you can CHOOSE something else. Think about that and make it work for you!

OK I have to go watch Biggest Loser now! Have a great week, everyone!

PS: Thank you for the nice link to my blog, northern belle! :)

Recipe: Vegan Apple Sage Sausage w/ Vegetables over Whole Wheat Macaroni

2009-12-06T20:32:00.004-05:00

Since I couldn't come up with a clever name for this recipe, the title gives it away. This is one of my new favorite meals!

Ingredients (for 2 servings):

Whole Wheat Penne, 2 cups cooked (1 and 1/2 cups uncooked)
Olive Oil, 2 tsp
Green Peas, 1 cup
Spanish Onion, diced, 1 Medium
Red Pepper, diced, 1/2
Green Pepper, diced, 1/2
Field Roast Grains Apple Sage Sausage (Vegan), 1 link
Collard Greens, chopped, 4 leaves
Garlic Cloves, chopped, 2
Salt

Here is a shot of the peas measured out with the onion, garlic and peppers chopped. Also, take note of the Professor on the right hand side, laying along the floor. He was watching me. Cute!

Directions:

First, get a saucepan of water to boil on a back burner. Add the macaroni and cook per the directions. While that is going, make the rest of the meal...

1- Heat up large skillet over medium high heat (I use cast iron, it shouldn't matter though). Add olive oil. Add frozen peas:

2- When the peas have defrosted, add onion. Stir:

3- After a minute or two, add peppers. Stir:

4- While stirring occasionally, I chopped up the collard greens and sausage:

5- Add sausage. Stir:

6- Add collard greens. Stir:

7- Add garlic. Stir carefully so nothing jumps out!

8- Continue to stir occasionally, allowing the collard greens to wilt a little:

9- Whole wheat macaroni is ready!

10- Put one cup of macaroni in a deep bowl:

11- Divide sausage & veggie mixture in half:

12- Put half veggie mixture over macaroni:

13- Add salt and enjoy!

I love this meal! It's very satisfying and super healthy. As shown above, it's 5.5 points per serving (3 points for the macaroni, 1 point for the oil, 2.5 for the sausage).

Even if you're not vegan or don't like some of those ingredients, I hope it inspires you to throw together a nice healthy meal for yourself. Enjoy!

Weekly Meeting Topic: Food Ruts (and photos from my Thanksgiving Bike Ride!)

2009-12-01T23:00:00.003-05:00

Tonight we talked about food ruts, but I covered this topic fairly recently and don't have much to add, so I'm not covering it again.

Instead, I will mention that we met our new leader tonight! As I wrote two weeks ago, the new leader I had come to adore pretty quickly, Karen, left us for greener pastures. While I will never forget her and already miss her dearly, I think I like the new leader. She is also young, energetic and has a great personality. I was pleasantly surprised. So welcome to Tuesday nights on Park Avenue, Melanie, I'm glad you're with us.

Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

I tracked 4 days - not full days, but it's an improvement over last week.
I took my vitamins 6/7 days. (I just thought of something, I think the problem I have is that my nights are so unstructured. Would it matter if I took my vitamins in the morning? I think I'd have a better success rate if I did that.)
Yesterday I announced to the twitterverse that I was challenging myself to walk 80 flights of stairs and I did it! I have a new personal best on the stairs: I did 10 sets (80 flights) for the first time yesterday! My total time was 28 min, 11 seconds. Breaking that down, the average time it took me climb and descend 8 flights of stairs (1 set) was 2 minutes, 49.1 seconds. I was in my heart rate zone for 24.43 of those minutes. My average heart rate was 154, my high was 177 and I burned 253 calories.

What do I want to work towards next week?

I am thinking about trying something new - tracking the night before. That might help me eat in a more structured way. I can use my tracker as a checklist. I'm going to try this out.
I also want to set 'point goals' - 7 for breakfast, 8 for lunch, 5 for dinner (I only get 20 per day). Of course I will use my weekly 35 and activity points too, as needed.
During tonight's rut meeting, I also thought of another way to modify my lunch a little - I still want to make my salad but instead of having the vegan sandwich in addition (3 points), I will use a 1-point tortilla and wrap some of the salad in the tortilla. I am excited by the thought!
I still need to calibrate my Nike + sneakers. I never had a chance last weekend.
Basically, I want to be more awesome this week when I was last week. Is that possible? Sure!

Since this is a short blog, I am going to post some photos I took on a glorious bike ride over Thanksgiving Day. I decided to bike to Macy's Herald Square after the parade ended, just because I had no idea what it would be like and thought I might get some interesting shots. It turned out to be a GREAT idea because so many streets were closed off to car traffic! I was so excited to bike North on 7th Ave (the wrong way, it runs south) towards Times Square! I even biked on 42nd St past Grand Central Terminal! I had such a great time. Here are a few of my favorite shots:

First I went to Rockefeller Center to see the tree. Smart idea right? Too bad about a billion tourists had the same idea! :) Here is a shot of 30 Rock. I love this deco building!

And here is the tree (the lights are on it, but it has not been lit yet):

You wouldn't believe how hard it was to get NO tourists in this shot, but I did it!

I biked past Central Park and couldn't get over how many pigeons were on this street light:

Here's an alternate view:

I biked south towards Macy's and was actually able to stop in the middle of the intersection of 34th St and 7th Ave to get this shot. I love no car traffic! (If you look closely, you will see a tourist crouching to take a photo of ME. Turned out he was Colombian and told me I look "Fabulous", with a sexy Spanish accent. I love NY!)

The world famous Macy's Herald Square:

There was confetti on the ground in Times Square:

I love this shot of a subway entrance in Times Square:

Cycling through Times Square I learned that they must take down the street lights along the parade route so that the balloon strings don't get caught. I never realized this! But I figured it out when I saw so many of them on flat bed trucks, waiting to be resurrected:

Biking East on 42nd St to head back to the 59th St Bridge, I got a shot of the stunning Chrysler Building and the moon!

Passing by Grand Central Terminal:

Here are a bunch of NYC Taxis lined up along 42nd Street, just outside of Grand Central Terminal (look to the bottom right at the red awnings - I shop at that Banana Republic often. I was in there tonight, in fact, and am going tomorrow after work for a 40% off sale! Yippee!)

Finally back on the Pulaski Bridge just a mile from my apartment, I stopped to get a shot of this hazy sunset:

It was a GREAT day for a bike ride in New York City! I love my life!

(All my photos from Thanksgiving Day can be seen here)

Have a fantastic week, everyone!

Activity and Fitness: Long Live Punk Rope!

2009-11-29T09:10:00.007-05:00

As most of you know, I take a weekly Punk Rope class at my local YMCA. "What in the world is Punk Rope?", you ask? It's a super fun cardio class where we jump rope (to punk and other types of music) and run relays and do all sorts of other things that burn calories and strengthen and tone - all while having a great time.

It took me six months after joining the gym to try a class, and this was the first one I tried because it looked like so much fun. But I was so intimidated - I didn't know anyone and was so afraid of looking ridiculous and not being able to keep up. And believe me, I had no idea what I was doing and was very uncoordinated that first night. But I soon realized that my fitness level didn't matter - there were people of all fitness levels in the class and we were all there to get healthy and have fun.

Cut to nearly three years later and I have missed very few classes. I am so much better in this class than I ever thought was possible and love seeing my improvement. The class creator and instructor, Tim Haft, even once told me that in his 5 years of doing the class I was one of the most improved he had seen. In addition to becoming a better jumper, runner, team player, etc, I met people in that class that would become some of my best friends.

Since I love this class so much, I wanted to spread the word. Tim's birthday is coming up and to wish him a happy birthday and continued success, I am posting this for him -

Since 2004 Punk Rope has brought health, fitness, and joy to thousands of people around the globe, including many economically disadvantaged children who have limited access to recreation. Punk Rope is the only play-centered fitness class in the US and possibly in the world. We believe that increased play leads to increased happiness, which leads to world peace.

If you want to bring Punk Rope to you or your child's school, here is how to do so:

If you have a child in school, let your kid’s PE teacher know about our school-based, Hopping for Health program and direct them to www.punkrope.com for more information.
If you belong to a gym that doesn't offer Punk Rope, suggest to the group exercise director or fitness manager that they check us out at www.punkrope.com.

And if you want to bring Punk Rope directly into your home, or give a gift to a friend, shop the Punk Rope store! Here are just some items available (that package is a steal!):

Give your friends, family, and colleagues one of our ropes or our DVD/CD for the holidays. Our ropes are an incredible value and we have some new styles that just arrived today that you won't find anywhere else. The Taj, with its exotic wood handles, is probably our favorite. And now we offer a Punk Rope starter package for only $15.99, which includes the Never Mind Aerobics DVD/CD, an adjustable rope, Rope Jumping 101, and a Punk Rope pin and patch. To entice you further, use the code iLuvPR when checking out an get 10% off your purchase.

Finally, if any of you in the Greenpoint/Williamsburg area want to give Punk Rope a try, just leave me a comment or send me an email. I can get you a one time pass to try the class for free - you don't have to be a member of the YMCA. If you love it, you may be tempted to join the YMCA, but there is no obligation.

The great thing about the Greenpoint class is we have a monthly happy hour (this Wednesday night after class @ Beco on Richardson, in fact) and we do a lot of hanging out. We're a group that likes to work hard *and* play hard!

Happy Hour @ Beco -

There's the occasional Bingo night (Mark Bar on Manhattan Ave in Greenpoint)

Birthday Festivities (Josue's Birthday 2008 @ Diamond Bar on Franklin in Greenpoint)

The Punk Rope Olympics in McCarren Park this past spring-

On Halloween, you might find masked ladies and naughty librarians-

Picnics in McCarren Park-

The Annual World Domination Summer Party in Williamsburg -

(Shana & Me)

The free workshop Tim and Shana hosted in McCarren Park this summer where I *finally* learned how to do doubles! (Me & Sherry)

and of course, everyone's favorite reason to be a Greenpoint Punk Roper, super sexy and world famous Joe Katz-

If you're not lucky enough to reside in this awesome section of Brooklyn, check out where other Punk Rope classes are held, there may be one near you already! (You can also follow Punk Rope on Twitter!)

Happy Birthday, Tim. Long live you, and Punk Rope. See you Wednesday night in class!

Tim Haft and me, January 2008 at Coco's in Greenpoint-

Pics from the NY Bike Jumble!

2009-11-27T09:58:00.005-05:00

I mentioned recently that on November 15th, I rode my bike to Park Slope where the NY Bike Jumble had arranged for professional photographer, Keiko Niwa, to take photos of cyclists and their bikes.

Here are my pictures! I love them!

Close up of the seat -

Yes, that *is* a vintage long line bra!

Close up on the Hello Kitty tire treads (probably my favorite feature of my bike!)

Fishnets and low heeled mary janes-

Me + my bike = BFF

Since this photo was taken, B's Bikes put a bolt on the fender so it no longer rattles. Thanks, Alex!

Another close up of the super adorable treads -

This photo is my favorite-

Thank you, NY Bike Jumble for hosting this fun (and free) event! And thank you, Keiko for offering your services! I'm so glad I was able to take part. And thanks to my friend Rowan. If it had not been for her, I wouldn't even have known about this!

Giving Thanks - for being alive

2009-11-26T10:55:00.002-05:00

I mentioned that this Thanksgiving I wanted to consider all the things I am thankful for. One of them, probably the biggest, is something that up until recently I never thought I would say-

I am thankful to be alive.

I spent the majority of my life severely depressed, an emotional and unstable wreck. And at times, I was suicidal.

For as long as I could remember, I hated myself. I hated waking up and having to live. I hated the world. And I spent a lot of time resenting my parents for bringing me into it against my will.

I was obsessed with death from a young age. I remember at age ten, I wrote out my first will. I'm not even kidding. When other kids were out playing ball, I was sitting in my room, alone, writing out who would get my possessions - the few possessions a ten year old has.

My first real depression started around age 14. And since then, I can't even tell you how many times I considered killing myself - I thought about how I would do it (I wanted it to be as peaceful and un-gory as possible, I figured an overdose would be my method of execution). I thought about who would be affected by my absence (other than my family, probably no one. I really had no friends for the majority of my life until recently). I thought about how people say "Suicide is selfish" but to me, it was selfish of other people to force me to be here if I didn't want to be here.

Despite spending a lot of time over the years thinking about killing myself - most recently in 2005, by far the most stressful and awful year of my life - the only thing that stopped me from attempting it was the fear of "What if death is worse than this?" I guess it was the not knowing what happens after death that scared me more than having to live my miserable life.

So I continued living (if you could call it that), waking up every day and going through the motions. But I wasn't happy about it. I didn't understand people that appeared happy - I thought they were stupid and in denial of the reality of their lives and the awful world. I considered myself a realist - always sad, always upset about something, always on the verge of tears because I knew the awful truth: that life, and people, sucked.

Long ago I had accepted that I would never be happy, and that was just the way it was. I honestly didn't think happiness was even possible, so I didn't bother considering what needed to change for me to be happy. It was just a given: I was fated to exist with life numbing depression.

Most of you reading this are probably surprised to hear all of that - anyone who has met me over the last few years don't know that Sheryl, because I couldn't be further from that person anymore.

So how did I get from there to where I am today? You likely know what I am going to say: it's a direct result of taking care of myself - of eating healthy and even more importantly - exercising.

I wrote about this in an old blog, but I think it's worth mentioning again. I never expected it, but exercise has had a huge and positive impact on my mental and emotional health.

I always heard that exercise was beneficial, but it took me 35 years to start exercising. And even then, I started off so slowly and did it half heartedly. But just 10 or 12 weeks into it, I felt the difference - I started feeling really good and started looking forward to that great feeling. Now, 3 years later, I can't believe what a profound impact exercise has had on my life. I am happy, positive, and full of life. I am literally a different person than I was. Exercise has given me a sense of pride and accomplishment I had never experienced before, or even thought was possible. It's a free and natural high. If all of that isn't great enough, it has also made my body look better than I ever imagined.

I couldn't be further from the depressed and suicidal woman I described above. I look back at old photos of me and can see my sadness. I feel like I am looking at another person. I now embrace life and look forward to so many things - big and small. I am genuinely excited to wake up every day and embrace the day. I am so happy to be alive. I'm thankful for everything, but most especially for being here. I finally stopped resenting my parents for bringing me into this world and am thankful that I did not kill myself the many times I considered it.

On this Thanksgiving after I post this blog, my plans include going to the gym to run on the treadmill and go out for a bike ride - two things that make me feel great and happy. I will think about how great it is to be alive and how thankful I am to have become the awesome person I am today.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Be thankful for everything you have, and have a wonderful day.

Weekly Meeting Topic: Emotional Eating and Holidays

2009-11-24T22:00:00.002-05:00

At the beginning of the meeting, we talked about emotional eating. Probably because the holidays can trigger emotional eating for most of us - something about being around our families and out of our usual routine can easily throw us off track. Because of that, I think it's so important to be as prepared as possible for the holidays. So how can we do that?

First, I think it's important to keep everything in perspective. As I mentioned in a previous blog, it's a holi-DAY, not holi-WEEK or holi-MONTH. If you're not going away for the holiday, it's likely only one meal. Contain it.
Another thing to remember is just because you may have reacted a certain way (ie: been a total glutton in previous years), that doesn't mean you have to behave that way *this* year - you have the power to break that cycle at any time. You just have to understand that you are in control and then act on it. (My previous leader, Carolyn, used to say "Your past is not your present". I love that quote. )
Set realistic goals for the holiday or event - Is your goal to stay within your points that day? Is your goal to track your food even if you go over? Maybe your goal is to give yourself a day off plan, get back on the next day, and just deal with the consequences. You get to pick whatever you want and you are comfortable with. Having realistic expectations is always helpful.
Reframe the Holiday - Thanksgiving doesn't have to be in your mind as "an excuse for an all day, all you can eat event". Change how you think about the holiday - it's a time to be thankful for everything you have. Make it about the quality of time you spend with the people you love; not the quantity of food you can consume.

And here are some tips that work for the holidays or any event:

Eat before the event. Make it healthy, make it light, and get in your fruit and dairy before the event since those are typically the foods that aren't showcased.
Prepare or bring a dish that you enjoy and will work with your plan (And since many of you that asked me what I am preparing - I am not doing any cooking. If you are looking for suggestions, I suggest you check out the Weight Watchers recipes on their website. There's tons of great ideas. You can also just google recipes.)
Mental Rehearsing: I love this tool. Before the event, envision where you are going to be and how you are going to handle situations. Walk yourself through the situation in your mind, behaving the way you want to. And when the day/situation occurs, it will be like acting out a script you've already done. This may sound crazy but it really works. I've used mental rehearsing so many times and it never lets me down!
Of course you can save your flex and activity points for the holiday/event. That's a no brainer!
Work out on the day of the event, before, if you can. I recommend before because it gives you more incentive to eat better. But if you can only work out after, I encourage that too. Any activity is better than no activity!
I try to remind people to be very selective about what they eat during these special occasions. If there are foods there you eat often or can get easily any time of year, don't waste your points on them. Enjoy the special foods that aren't as readily available at other times.
Remember that liquid calories/points add up very quickly. Some suggestions are that you may want to give yourself a limit on highly caloric beverages (say, 2 glasses of wine) or you may decide to choose between alcohol or dessert.

Those are just some general ideas. Nothing is mandatory, which is nice. You can pick the strategies that work for you and figure out your own.

Finally, remember, even if you have what you perceive as the most disastrous event, keep it in perspective: This is ONE MEAL. One meal will not unravel all your progress and make you gain all your weight back. But the trick is to keep it to that one meal. Don't let it spiral out of control. Get back on track as soon as possible to keep the scale damage, but more importantly the MENTAL damage, to a minimum.

Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

I tracked 2 days. That was disappointing, but I have no one to blame but myself. This week just seemed to slip through my hands!
I took my vitamins 6/7 days.
After not visiting my doctor for 2.5 years, I finally went last week. I was down in weight since that visit, so she was happy. My blood pressure is great (about 110/70) and I had blood drawn to check all my lab stuff. I can't wait to see my results!
Since the weather has been pretty delightful I have been riding my bike as much as possible. Yay!
Sitting in my meeting tonight it occurred to me - I have not binged in months! That's not to say I have been perfect - far from it. I have been over in points for weeks now. But I have not had one of those days where I just consume thousands of calories in a short period of time. That's amazing!!
I did the stairs again last week - another 64 flights! And I beat my previous time by 15 seconds. Nice!
I met last week's goal of running 2.5 miles in 30 minutes! According to the treadmill, I did just that: 2.5 miles. But according to my Nike+, I did closer to 3 miles. I am not sure of the discrepancy, see below...

What do I want to work towards next week?

Get back to making journaling a priority: My goal is to track at least 5 days. Again, the accountability of tracking is more important to me right now than staying within my points. I want to write down what I eat. Even if it's not the best thing possible. I need to be accountable again!
I have to recalibrate my Nike+ chip because the number of miles on the treadmill vs the number of miles in the Nike+ iPod program are off.
I am hoping to get my Wii Fit set up this weekend (if my brother brings me his old TV, since mine died).
I will remind myself to be thankful for everything I have and am capable of enjoying and doing - on Thanksgiving and every day!

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving this week! And thank you all for reading.

Recipe: Pumpkin Yogurt

2009-11-22T09:48:00.003-05:00

I was in Whole Foods recently and saw "Pumpkin Yogurt", but it was made with milk. I'm a sucker for *anything* pumpkin, so I thought 'damnit, why don't they have a vegan version of that?'. Then it occurred to me - duh - buy the soy yogurt you were going to buy anyway and add pumpkin! Problem solved!

I went back to work and made it for the first time. I was instantly smitten. This is my favorite new dessert/snack:

Vanilla Yogurt (I used soy yogurt since I don't eat dairy anymore, but of course any yogurt - or pudding - will do)
Canned Pumpkin (1/4 cup)
Cinnamon/Sugar (dash, optional, but awesome)

Put the yogurt/pudding in a bowl since there will not be enough room to add the pumpkin to the container. Add the cinnamon/brown sugar/nutmeg/whatever...

Stir and enjoy!

It is SO delicious! I considered adding 2 graham crackers to this snack so, just to eat along with it or dip into it. I just haven't gotten around to buying vegan graham crackers yet.

This will only set you back as many points as your yogurt or pudding costs. In my case, 3 points.

Enjoy!

Weekly Meeting Topic: Being Thankful

2009-11-17T20:27:00.005-05:00

I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week, but it is; so that was the focus of tonight's meeting. We started off by discussing what we are thankful for. I didn't respond, but listened as the other members spoke and jotted down my thoughts:

I'm thankful for being alive and healthy
I'm thankful for the people in my life who care about me
I'm thankful for my great apartment in Brooklyn and to live in NYC
(though it makes me completely crazy sometimes) I'm thankful for my job
I'm thankful for everything that has occurred to make me who I am today

I think I've touched on this before, and it really deserves its own blog - but for the first time ever, I'm thankful to be alive and who I am. That feeling is so priceless and one I never experienced or even considered before I stared on my journey in 2006. Although there was a lot of pain leading up to it, I am thankful for everything that happened to put me in the position where I made the decision to change that year. And I am still amazed at everything I've achieved and continue to achieve as a result of that initial decision.

After we talked about what we were thankful for, we went over what we are going to be eating on Thanksgiving Day and reviewing points for common holiday foods. I don't celebrate Thanksgiving in a traditional way, nor do I eat those foods, so this didn't really apply to me. But it's always a great idea to *plan ahead*. Familiarize yourself with the points and portion sizes of foods you are likely to eat at your holiday meal. Do everything you can in advance so you can be in control when it happens.

In addition to that suggestion, here are some other tips that I recommend for any holiday or big event:

Eat light earlier in the day, before the event, but make sure you eat! You don't want to arrive starving.
Do your activity before the event to keep you focused and give yourself extra points (if you want them) and/or plan to do activity after the event (even going for a post-meal walk counts!).
Save your weekly flex points for the day of the event (in case you need them).
Bring or prepare a dish if possible - that way you know there is at least one points friendly thing that you like.
Don't forget your water! Not only do you need it, but it will help curb your appetite.

Another thing to consider is if you know there is a particular food item you love which will be served at your holiday or event, think about how you are going to handle that food: Can you mentally prepare yourself to enjoy a reasonable portion responsibly? Or will it be a trigger food that you may prefer to avoid completely? Either way, have a plan. Planning is key for this kind of occasion.

Finally, if things don't go as planned, do not beat yourself up over it. That's counter productive and often turns a relatively small indiscretion into another day or week of poor choices. Remind yourself to learn from your experience and get back on track before it snowballs.

Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

I tracked all 7 days!! My ultimate tracking goal was to track as much as possible, even if I went over. And I did just that. I did total tracking 5 days, and partial tracking 2 days. At the end of the week, I consumed all my daily points, weekly points, my activity points, and I even used points I didn't have. Obviously that is not ideal, but I feel like I am on the road to tracking *and* staying within my points. It will happen!
I took vitamins 6/7 days (Friday continues to be a challenge...)
You may recall I have been trying to get my hemoglobin up so I could donate blood. I tried twice in the last few weeks, but was shy of the 12.5 minimum. I kept getting readings of 12.1 through 12.4. I was determined to raise this number, so I bought new iron pills (the ones I was taking expired years ago), I continued eating arugula and spinach, and thanks to tips from my readers I have also been enjoying raisins. When I went to donate yesterday and they checked my hemoglobin, I knocked that reading out of the park with a 13.7! Go me!
I mentioned a few weeks ago that I needed to scheduled a doctor's appointment for a physical. I finally scheduled it for this Friday and I can't wait to see my great lab results!
Last Friday, I had a stressful afternoon at work. I actually said out loud to William "Let's go to the Pharmacy and get candy." As soon as I said it, I couldn't even believe those words came out of my mouth. Since banning artificial foods this spring, I have not had a moment like that. I quickly tweeted my dilemma and reminded myself that "Chocolate will NOT make everything better." Then I got into my gym clothes and hit the stairs. I did 6 sets, which isn't much but more important than the workout was what it gave me - a chance to think and clear my head. When I returned to my desk I felt great and did not even entertain the notion of consuming candy or chocolate. That was a big victory.
As I mentioned in yesterday's blog, I reached a new record on the stairs
And as I mentioned in Sunday's blog, I set up my new Nike + sneakers and reached a new record on the treadmill

What do I want to work towards next week?

Continue with the great progress I made journaling! My goal is to track at least 5 days - again, even if I go over. Right now I am focusing on tracking as a priority. I will try to not go over, but I am more focused on the accountability right now.
Run 2.5 miles on the treadmill in 30 minutes.
I accidentally bought 5 jars of that amazing peanut butter I love (long story). I hid them in a very annoying place. My goal is to be able to live with them in my apartment without consuming them (back story: I had to ban peanut butter from my house a few months ago when I was eating a half jar at a time)
I'm thinking of making TWIET (Tweet what I eat Tuesday) a weekly occurrence. I'm just afraid of annoying all my non WW Twitter followers. I might do it though.

And lastly, for a bit of sad news:

If you read last night's blog, you may remember that I mentioned that everything in life has a 'last' time and you often don't know when it is the 'last'. Sadly, tonight, I had a 'last' that I was not expecting. When I arrived at my Weight Watchers meeting, I learned that it was the last time that the leader, Karen, would be running the meeting. I was so upset to hear this - I only started going to this location about 2 months ago and I immediately liked her, which is why I decided to relocate and make that my permanent meeting. But this was especially heartbreaking to me because you may recall I lost my longtime leader this past February. I don't know if I will stay at this meeting, it depends who they replace her with. We'll see...

Karen, Happy Thanksgiving and have a safe move. I didn't say it in the meeting tonight because I didn't want to cry, but I'm thankful for YOU. I'm going to miss you (and your awesome drawings) terribly but wish you the best in the next chapter of your life. I hope your new members appreciate you half as much as I do. Good luck and farewell.

Stair Master, continued, followed by a touching moment

2009-11-16T20:31:00.011-05:00

Chances are you know that one of my weekly workouts is walking up and down the stairs in the building where I work. My office building has 8 floors from basement to roof, and once a week I walk up and down the 8 flights 5 times consecutively for a total of 40 flights.

This may not sound like a big deal, but it is challenging. Stairs have always been something I avoided, even hated. But living in NYC, you have to take the stairs a lot. So I figured why not get better at them?

Since starting this routine a few months ago, I can already see huge improvements in my speed, stamina and endurance. I remember the first time I did this, I thought I was going to pass out when I was done. My entire body was shaking and my legs were sore for 3 days. 3 days! Now I am fine within minutes, my body doesn't shake, and there is no recovery time. The actual workout is still challenging, but far less so.

Recently I increased from 5 sets to 6. And today, my co-worker William joined me. He said "Let's do it till we drop!" and that reminded me of something I like to tell myself often when I need motivation - "The only thing stopping me is me." So I decided that today I would challenge myself a little more and broke a personal record. I did 8 sets - for a total of 64 consecutive flights up and down.

Despite being drenched in sweat when I finished, I felt great! What a natural high! I was so proud of myself for pushing myself a little further. And even better, I did it in great time:

Total time for 64 flights up & down: 21 minutes, 46 seconds
Total time in my target heart rate: 20 minutes, 35 seconds
Average heart rate: 149
Maximum heart rate: 172
Calories burned: 182

I did the math and it broke down to get the average time per set (one set = up and down 8 flights of stairs). It came to 2 minutes and 43 seconds per set. Not bad at all!

After that, I changed back into my regular clothes and headed out to Whole Foods. As I exited the stairwell on the ground floor, there was an adorable old man in a tweed coat standing there, probably in his late 70's. I held the stairwell door open for him. He told me I could close it because he was taking the elevator. Then he added that he WISHED he could take the stairs, but he's unable to any more. He added that when he was younger he would run up 6 flights no problem; but now he couldn't even walk a flight. And he WISHED he could.

This nearly broke my heart. First, for him, to have been able to do something and had it eventually taken away - to know that he is unable to do something he used to do and he longed to be able to do it again. But also for me, because I always remind myself that everything we do - every single thing that we take for granted every day - every one of those things will eventually have a *last* time. And perhaps the cruelest part of life is that you won't know it's your last time - the last time you get out of bed, the last time you come home at night, the last time you kiss someone you love, or the last time you have the opportunity to do something as mundane as walk up a flight of stairs.

As brief as that encounter was, I am going to remember that old man and his words the next time I need inner strength to do something. It was a great but sad reminder that life is short and can change at any moment. I will do what I can while I am still capable; and with the awareness that one day I will not be able to do those things any more. That tragic but simple fact is what got me started on my journey 3 years ago and continues to be my biggest motivator.

And this is the exact point I tried to sum up in a very popular post last month: Appreciate everything you have and everything you can do - regarding your health or any other area of your life. Do not take your life or opportunities for granted. You only get one chance to live your life and be who you are. Seize every moment, every day, every event and every challenge. And don't waste any more time. You can't go back and enjoy things that are now gone, but you can make the choice to start living in a new way - appreciating what you still have and do what you are capable of doing today. You don't want to wake up one day and regret what you should have done when you had the chance. Make a point to do it now - whatever IT is - while you fortunate enough to be able to do it. Even if it's something as simple as walking up the stairs...

Numbers, Stats and a great day for a bike ride in NYC!

2009-11-15T22:30:00.017-05:00

Today I did something I haven't done in a while, I weighed and measured myself. Here are the results, along with the last two times I took all my measurements; most recently, nearly a year ago. And since I get asked very often, I am 5'2". (note: to see all the columns in the spreadsheets and charts, you may need to click on them and go to Flickr to view them larger):

I'm not sure why my thigh and calf are a half inch bigger, but my waist and rib cage are 1 inch smaller. I actually expected everything to be bigger, because I noticed last week that my skirts were tight (read: tighter than usual). That was actually what prompted me to measure myself in the first place. I was a little surprised by those numbers, but that's what they are currently.

In other news, yesterday I finally set up my new Nike + sneakers and broke them in at the gym on the treadmill. I uploaded my "power song" ("Singin a Song about Today", by Mooney Suzuki), and I linked the iPod Nike program to my "iWorkout" playlist (which starts off with Hoku's "Perfect Day", followed mostly Madonna's "Confessions on a Dance Floor"). When I got home from the gym, I uploaded my run information from iPod onto the website. (Oh, and if you want to add me on Nike +, my log in is "bitchcakes".) I haven't quite figured out the site yet, but I love it already! It keeps records and stats and has charts. Charts!!! (I love charts!)

In this chart, you can see that I was doing my interval running. I like to alternate between walking and running every 90 seconds. But I had trouble setting up this treadmill at first, so the first 3 minutes were spent walking until I figured it out. I go from a fast walk (3.8 miles per hour) to a run - which, yesterday, I did at 6 miles per hour! (I usually run at 5.8 mph, so this was a new record).

And when I saw this page on the website, I was blown away. I set a new speed record! My average mile time was 11 minutes and 14 seconds. Awesome!

I already love my new Nike + sneakers and iPod syncing feature. I can't wait to use it again for running so I can track more stats on the website!

After my run, I did the Total Body Conditioning class that kicks my ass (but I love it!). In there, I burned over 300 calories and felt ready to conquer the day! I love that class!

Then, my friend Rowan told me about a fantastic bike event going on in Park Slope, Brooklyn today - the NY Bike Jumble was hosting a "Bike Photo Booth" where they had a professional photographer who was taking photos of cyclists with their bikes. Best part: it was FREE!

Today was unseasonably warm, so it was the perfect day for it! I made my way outside and was THRILLED to be on my bike again. I didn't think I'd have a great biking day like this until next spring. It was delightful!

I headed over to Park Slope, passing by some incredibly beautiful homes (many of which still had pumpkins on their stoops or Halloween decorations up):

I made it to the Old Stone House and had a handful of photos taken of me with my bike. (I'll do a future blog and post them here when they email them to me.)

After that, I took the Manhattan Bridge over to Manhattan:

I met up with a friend in Little Italy and spent some time with her. On my way out of that neighborhood, I saw this group of handsome young Italian men on Mulberry St that were posing for a photo. I seized the moment and took a photo of them too. Then some of them posed with me while their friend took photos us.

After that visit, I headed north and west to visit my Dad at work (no photos). And finally, I headed south to get back to the Williamsburg Bridge. On my way, I found a terrific display at Fishs Eddy on Broadway at 19th St. (I love this store and buy kitchen stuff there often.) Look how they created NYC skyscrapers out of silverware! Incredible!

I can't remember where in Manhattan I found this great neon:

And I returned to Brooklyn just in time to catch a breathtaking sunset:

When I finally got home, I entered all my heart rate monitor data for the biking I did today. I can't believe how many calories I burned! (This is a snapshot of my Heart Rate Monitor spreadsheet, which you may have noticed I added a few more columns to):

So, in total today, I biked 27 miles in about 3.5 hours and burned over 1500 calories! Wow. I'm pretty impressed!

What a fantastic and active weekend I had! I only wish it didn't have to end. :(

Weekly Meeting Topic: Holiday Traditions

2009-11-11T21:01:00.001-05:00

(sorry this post is a night late, I got sidetracked last night after the meeting...)

This week we talked about the upcoming holidays and the role that traditions play in the holidays. We likely all have some family traditions that we look forward to (or perhaps not) and those traditions could be getting in the way of your short term and long term goals, not to mention your mental well-being. But the great thing is that traditions have to start somewhere, and you can create *new* traditions - healthy traditions that will help you this and every year going forward. Take some time to evaluate your current traditions and see which ones you'd consider changing or eliminating and what new ones you'd like to incorporate instead.

I don't celebrate holidays so this isn't such a challenge for me. But my meeting members discussed some new traditions they were considering this year that will help them in their journey. These were some suggestions, but I'm sure they'll spark some of your own ideas:

Instead of sitting on the couch watching sports and/or eating more, start a tradition of doing something physical like going out for a walk. (One member said he was going to walk around the neighborhood and look at some of the holiday lights and decorations. I thought that was a great idea!)
If you have a good group of people at your holiday gathering and want to stay indoors, you can spend some time playing games. Give your body a chance to digest and keep your mind active instead of your mouth.
Have something to look forward to *other* than food - like catching up with the friends or relatives you haven't seen in a while; and if you're going away - enjoying the sights and experiences of another city.
Create a tradition to work out before your holiday event. It will help keep you focused and earn you some activity points.

I think the important points to remember are:

As my leader pointed out, it's a HoliDAY - not a holiweek or holimonth.Keep it to the one day.
Keep the focus OFF the food. Yes, the food will be there in abundance, possibly calling you by name. Perhaps some of those foods are only available this time of year. If that's the case and you want to enjoy them, then go ahead - as responsibly and aware as possible. I do not believe in depriving yourself - you should enjoy those special foods if that's what you want to do. But that food should not be the focus of the day - the event, company and venue should be.
And like I always say, no matter what happens, remember that you can restart at any time - don't wait for January 1st or December 1st or next Monday. Start over at that next meal. The sooner you restart, the less damage you do. In fact, if you catch yourself fast enough, chances are it won't even show up at the scale.

Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

I tracked 3 days. That's shy of my 4 day goal and less than half the week but like I always remind myself - tracking *something* is better than tracking nothing.
I took vitamins 5/7 days (this is still a challenge for me!)
I learned I really do not like kale. I am going to stop buying it and look for other ways to get my iron. In fact, I started using spinach and arugula in my super salad. I especially like the arugula and am going to make it that way from now on.
I followed through on TWIET (Tweet what I eat Tuesday)
A friend of mine that I hadn't seen at the gym in a few months saw me in punk rope tonight and he commented on how great I was running! He called me a track star! That was a huge compliment - he didn't know I recently started running, so for him to notice the difference and tell me meant a lot. Thanks, JJ!

What do I want to work towards next week?

I still have not had time to program my new sneakers with my iPod! Or use them on the treadmill! I will definitely do that before next Tuesday night's blog.
I will continue to work on tracking. My goal is to tack 100% of at least 4 days and at least *some* of the other 3 days. I know this will help me and I need to do it.
I will make my doctor appointment that I mentioned last week (I've worked a ton of hours since last Wednesday and have not had time to pick a day off and make an appt but I will do it tomorrow or Friday)
Next week William and I will get back to our 3 days a week gym schedule (and my stair workout). That was also a to do for this week but it's not going to happen because we're still dealing with a very hectic workload this week. We've had no time for lunch. (Speaking of no time- my Wii arrived and I have not had time to even unpack it yet!)

Have a great week, everyone! :)

Weekly Meeting Topic: Strategies for Staying Motivated through the Holidays

2009-11-03T21:05:00.003-05:00

While it's true that the 'big holiday season' will soon be upon us, it's obviously important to be motivated all the time. So while the holidays may present an extra challenge, keep these things in mind year round because they always apply:

1- Set realistic goals. This is so important because if you set unrealistic goals, you set yourself up to be disappointed, and that often leads to quitting. This is why my weekly goals are never number related. They're activity and behavior related - because those are things that are completely within my control. I like to remind you as often as possible that other than your final weight goal, do not focus on weekly weight goals. You CANNOT control the scale. Focus on your behaviors. You CAN control those, and reaching those goals is completely attainable and so personally satisfying. In time, those behaviors will make a difference that you see on the scale. (My leader said something great tonight regarding the number on the scale - she said be LOGICAL and not EMOTIONAL about that number. Kudos, Karen!)

2- Keep it in perspective. If you do something you are less than proud of, or that you didn't intend to do, don't beat yourself down with negative self talking. Stop and think about the situation, think about how you would have reacted in that situation *before* your journey, think about the incident in the scheme of your whole day or whole week; keep it in perspective and you will likely realize it is insignificant. But the trick is to recognize all of that as soon as possible, put it behind you and move on making healthy choices again.

3- Continue Tracking. Great advice for everyday and this can definitely help keep you on track during the holidays!

4- Attend Weekly Meetings (or whatever you rely on for support - friends, blogs, etc). I have said this before too - I know meetings are not for everyone, but I love them. I know I would not have been this successful without them and I genuinely look forward to them. In the 3+ years I have been going to WW now continuously, I've missed very few meetings.

5- Be Patient. Remember that you didn't gain the weight overnight and you didn't develop terrible habits overnight, so you are not going to lose it overnight or undo all of those habits that quickly. It's not a race. Give yourself time to change.

6- Remind yourself of your motivations daily. I love this idea. I think it's so important to remember all the reasons why you want to lose weight and get healthier. You might be motivated by your old clothing you outgrew, or a specific event, or to be able to do something physical you haven't done in a while. At this point in my journey, I am motivated by the idea of being healthier, stronger, faster and yes, looking great :)

Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

Unfortunately not much. I was sick for most of last week and still tend to throw a pity party for myself and treat myself with food when I'm in that condition. I realize I'm doing it, and I psychologically I know why, but I still do it - I know my body wants to feel "good" so it looks for pleasurable foods to make me feel "good", even though that's not the "good" I want to feel. All I wanted was to feel well and I'm so thankful I finally do!

I managed to not eat a single piece of Halloween Candy. Granted, since cutting out artificial ingredients earlier this year and being on my way to Vegan, it rules a lot of candy out but this is still such a huge accomplishment for me considering what a significant role candy played in my life and in me getting to 208 pounds.
I purchased the Wii Fit Plus! Thank you all so much for your help with that! (Especially Screw Destiny. You are a patient woman!) It has not arrived yet, but I'm looking forward to it!
And tonight, with a rebate I received from my contact lenses, I treated myself to a gorgeous new pair of Nike + sneakers which are great for running *and* will work with my iPod!

What do I want to work towards next week?

I will get back on track food wise and journal again - at least 4 days.
TWIET (Tweet What I Eat Tuesday!)
Set up and RUN in my new sneakers (I can hardly wait!)
Incorporate more iron rich green leafy vegetables (I tried to give blood last night but my hemoglobin was just shy of the 12.5 minimum again. It was 12.4!)
Starting on Monday, get back to the gym with William (we haven't been there in two weeks due to work being crazy and me being sick). We will go Mon, Thurs & Fri.
As for the rest of my workouts, I want to get back on track with them too: Tuesday I will do the stairs, Weds is Punk Rope, Sat is Total Body Conditioning and Pilates.
I will make an appointment with my general doctor for a physical. I want to get all my blood work done. It's been over 2 years since I did that.

Note: I am working crazy hours the next few days through Sunday so I may not be able to blog again until Monday.

Have a great week everyone!

Success is the confidence to wear a bodysuit in public

2009-10-28T15:52:00.006-04:00

This may seem completely gratuitous and in one sense it is, however I am pretty proud of myself. I think it not only shows how far I've come physically, but also mentally. I'm considering this a non-scale victory.

I was invited to a Halloween party last weekend and one thing I hate is having to wear a costume. I had no inspiration about what to wear, so I just went to a giant Halloween store in Manhattan determined to buy *something*.

I was drawn to the flapper costumes (no surprise there, but I already dress 'retro') and the Statue of Liberty (something I always wanted to be, but hate the idea of looking like I'm wearing a mumu), or Wonder Woman (but her dress was too short). Getting frustrated, it then hit me: I want to wear a bodysuit!

Now you may not realize this, but I never wear pants. That's because since around age 9 when my thighs started filling out, buying pants has been a very traumatic experience and by age 14 I stopped wearing pants all together. To this day, I can never find pants that fit me correctly (small waist, big thighs and ass, short legs). And despite my weight loss success, that's still the body part/area I'm most self conscious of and I am very particular about how I dress it.

I don't know what suddenly possessed me to embrace my least favorite part, but I was so excited about my decision. I've worked on my body so much and despite the fact that it's not my "dream body", I'm so proud of what I accomplished so far. And I was ready and comfortable with the idea of wearing a bodysuit in public!

So I found the superhero section and grabbed a Catwoman suit. One size fits all. And for the first time in my life, I realized that "one size fits all" might be too BIG for me, instead of too small.

I brought it home and tried it on. It was more than roomy. In fact, it would have fit the old me (with the extra 50 pounds). But I wanted it super tight, so I did a haphazard job sewing it, making it smaller everywhere - the arms, the legs, the sides and back. And it worked! It was so tight, I could hardly get it on. And that was exactly how I wanted it to fit.

Here I am before I left the house for the party -

I think I look adorable here! I love that straight line down the left side of my back to the curve around my ass!

This picture blew my mind though - I honestly can't believe how *small* (stop laughing) and, well, nicely shaped my ass looks here! I thought it was MUCH bigger than this!

I even think I look pretty good in this bent over position! (Hoegaarden, where are you?!)

and other than having to pull up the crotch of the bodysuit in this shot, I am very pleased with how the suit looks!

So that's something I never thought would happen - me not only wearing a bodysuit in public but feeling super hot in it. I love it so much, I want to wear it to work. In fact, I have a good feeling Catwoman will be commuting through Grand Central Terminal this Friday. Meow!

PS! Re: the Wii Fit - if some of you can chime in - is this the right Wii I need to buy? I want to make sure I am getting the right console/set. Thanks again for your input!

Biggest Loser: I finally <3 Jillian

2009-10-27T23:11:00.002-04:00

Sadly, I did not make my meeting tonight because I am home sick. (I am going to see if I can make it to another meeting later in the week, so hopefully I can do a weekly meeting recap blog.) I can't remember the last time I was this sick. I feel so terrible that I haven't even left my apartment for about 36 hours now. Since I've been trapped at home, I've only had the energy to sleep, eat and watch TV, so I am caught up on my DVR stuff and watched The Biggest Loser tonight. And I'm inspired to talk about Jillian.

In every past season, I disliked her. I always thought she was just a bitch and wondered "Why is she so mean to everyone?!" But I see her in a very different light this season. And I do not think it's because she changed; I think it's because I changed. Now I see what she's doing and what her intentions are - she gets into their heads to help them uncover the deeper seeded issues of what got them to the condition they were in when they appeared on the ranch. She talks to them in a way that pushes them further and makes them realize that THEY are holding themselves back, that THEY need to change their thinking, that THEY need to do this for them.

I love watching those break through moments!

She summed up that process perfectly tonight when she spoke directly to the camera:

"What I'm trying to do is create an unfortunate situation that pushes them out of their comfort zone, that makes them uncomfortable, that triggers all their issues so they learn how to manage it in a safe, controlled environment where I can create a positive outcome because when it happens in the real world, they'll know what to do instead of folding."

She continued to try to get through to Amanda while she was on the treadmill, telling her:

"Why are you so attached to being a failure? Why don't you change your mind today... You want to fail. You don't want to succeed... What are you getting out of it?... You are not failing here, you quit. There is a difference between quitting and failing... It's going to require some courage, it's going to require a little bit of bravery. It doesn't mean you're going to be fearless... Step on the treadmill and make it count... You make it happen. You don't wait for life to happen. You make it happen."

Amanda did quit the treadmill and left the gym, crying, after all of that. I really wanted to see the lightbulb go off in her head and see her get back on the treadmill but she wasn't ready for it.

Then later in the episode, Jillian said to Amanda:

"You have to redefine your view of failure. It's not failure, it's a learning process. You gotta fall down a few times you gotta make a few mistakes in order to learn. It's how you grow. Think about it."

Bravo! I could not agree more!

But Jillian is not always a bitch to them, she knows when to be compassionate - she shifted gears and talked Shay through her own breakthrough about what made her morbidly obese, and the root of her issue - her heroin addicted mother who didn't love her. It was emotional and powerful and in the long run, I think it helped Shay. She also talked to Abby very gently about her personal tragedy of losing her husband and children. So she's not a bitch like I thought, she knows what she's doing.

It was tonight I realized that it's official: I am a fan of Jillian and her tough love approach. I often hear her in my head when I'm doing something at the gym. Although I've never met her or trained with her, her voice and words motivate me when I need them. Thank you, Jillian.

Speaking of The Biggest Loser, I saw during one of the commercial breaks that there is a BL game for the Wii Fit. I had been considering buying this for a while but now I'm even more excited about the idea. So it's feedback time - Do any of you have the Wii Fit? Love it/hate it/want to share your opinions? Let me know. More than likely, I will get it regardless but I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Thank you and have a great week!

Review: Polar F4 Heart Rate Monitor

2009-10-25T21:28:00.004-04:00

I mentioned recently that I finally picked up a heart rate monitor. I didn't get anything super fancy. I went with the Polar F4, for under 100 dollars. (Not that the color matters, I but I picked up the one in red berry.) The way it works is there's a strap that you put around the most upper part of your rib cage, and a watch that you wear on your wrist. When activated, the watch is used like a stopwatch and communicates with the band around your chest. From the time you press start to the time you press stop, it gives you a summary of your total minutes, the number of those minutes that you're in the fat burning/cardio zone, your average heart rate, your high heart rate and your total calories burned.

I've been wearing it almost every day to gather data for random activities. Of course I've been keeping track of my stats in Excel to get an idea of how may calories different activities burn (I highlighted a few of my recurring activities):

It's not included in that chart, but for a comparison, I also recorded my stats for 1 hour of working - where I was sitting for a full 60 minutes. Doing basically nothing except using my hands and brain at the computer, I burned just over 100 calories. I thought that was interesting because I can see how much more I burn by actually doing an activity compared to if I did nothing.

After reviewing this data, what surprised me most is that bike riding is actually a cardio activity. I really never thought of biking as exercise, much less cardio, so I was shocked by how many calories it burn. What also surprised me is that just getting from my apartment to Grand Central Terminal every morning burns approx 200 calories and my average heart rate is usually in the cardio zone!

Another good thing I noticed is that when I wear it to the gym, any of the cardio machines (treadmills/elipticals/cross trainer/arc trainer, etc) actually somehow know that you're wearing a HRM and display your heart rate right on the machine (without having to hold onto their heart rate sensors). I have found the HR number on the machine matches the HR number on the watch +/- 2 beats per min. But I noticed that the calories burned that display on the machine are always significantly higher (about 25%-35%) than the calories burned on the heart rate monitor. I don't understand the reasoning for this since my age and weight entered in both machines are the same. And I'm not sure which is more accurate - the heart rate monitor or the cardio machine.

All that being said, this is a pretty low end heart rate monitor but it's perfect for my needs and I'm happy with it. Of course, if you're looking for something fancier, there are tons more to choose from.

Weekly Meeting Topic: Eating Healthier the Easier Way

2009-10-20T20:45:00.004-04:00

At tonight's meeting, the leader asked us if, during our journey, we have had days where we ate all of our points but were still hungry. Not surprisingly, everyone could relate. The leader (who I adore - Karen, you are awesome!) asked us to think about what we were eating on those days - days when use all of our points but are still hungry; not mental hunger or palette hunger, but real physical hunger.

I have definitely been there and I knew immediately what she was getting at: the type and nutritional quality of food you consume is so much more important than you may realize. It was something I didn't know and would not have believed until I experienced it for myself.

I remember when I first joined, for the first year and a half, I lost my weight eating the same things I always ate - a lot of junk food and processed food - just less of it. Yes, you can lose weight that way because in the end, it's about calories in vs calories out.

However, not only is that not healthy, but I do not think that is sustainable long term. I think it worked for me when I had a lot of weight to lose because I could still eat a bunch of junk food along with the good stuff and managed to burn more calories than I used. But the fact is that the more you lose, and the closer you get to goal, you have to consume less food if you want to continue to lose weight. At that point, you don't have a lot of wiggle room anymore. Those calories (points) become so much more important and you should be more careful about what you eat. You should question what you are eating, why you are eating it and make adjustments that you are comfortable with and ready for. (The sooner you do this, the better, it took me a while to get to this point though.)

Even if I had heard this concept, I hadn't embraced it until I tried the Core version of the plan. Prior to that, I was on Flex and just concentrated on spending my points. I didn't give much thought to what I was spending them ON. A majority of my points were spent on things like junk food snacks, frozen high sodium meals, sugar free/fat free processed food - basically a ton of garbage and chemicals. Being on Core forced me to think about a whole new approach to eating - consuming actual, real food! Crazy concept, huh?

After just days on that plan I could not believe how different I felt. That's when the lightbulb went off. I noticed almost instantly how real food satisfied me so much more than the garbage I had been eating before then. It was like an "a-ha" and a "duh" moment at the same time.

And while it wasn't immediate, that first revelation I had as a result of eating real food caused me to have many more, leading me to the significant changes I made this year - first banning artificial ingredients (including the many seemingly healthy foods that contain them), and now my transition to Veganism.

For me, I can now look back and see that Core was a critical turning point because it made me reexamine what I was eating and *why* I was eating it, which caused me to say "Enough is enough. There are certain things I am not willing to put into my body anymore." This is huge - and it's just another reason why I try to remind you all the time - it's not all about the scale. This is such a mental journey. It's about the changes in your mind that lead to the changes in your actions. The scale will catch up to that eventually, but I think it's so much more important to be aware of what you are doing and why.

Lastly, remember that everyone has a different journey and this is not a race. Take your time and learn. Evolve. Have your own epiphanies, and make your changes. I think that's the secret to long term success.

Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

I tracked, but only for 2.5 days. This is less than my goal of 5 days, but it's more than none!
A co-worker put a Baby Ruth candy bar on my desk. My instinct was to grab it and open it, but I stopped myself and reminded myself that I don't eat artificial ingredients anymore (I'm sure there are some in there, I didn't even bother looking). I thought about the whole exchange and realized that I wasn't even tempted by the taste, it was more just an immediate reaction to open and devour it. But I did not. I gave it to another coworker and didn't think about it again.
Someone else at work offered me candy corn. (You may not know this but I am a former junk food junky and this was one of my favorite candies. I'd eat a pound at a time, and not just at Halloween.) I politely declined. When she offered again, I told her that I do not eat artificial ingredients. I even told her I was a former chemical candy junky, but haven't had any candy since March. She seemed amazed by that, and asked if I craved it. I told her that that was the most surprising thing - since cutting it out, I have not craved it once. I can now see candy and not feel like I'm going to die if I don't eat it. As opposed to before, when I tried to consume it in moderation, I would have to fight with myself to not eat it. But now I don't have that horrible internal struggle because I don't even want it. This, by far, is one of my biggest achievements to date. I never thought this day would come or would even be possible, but it's such a relief to not be tortured by thoughts of candy anymore!
I had a box of Kashi bars in my office that I knew weren't "safe". So a few weeks ago, I brought them into my co-worker's office and explained that I was leaving them there for safe keeping. I did this because I knew that if they were too easily accessible and no one could see me eat them, I would eat them way too fast. But having to go into someone else's office, where they would SEE what I was doing was enough to prevent me from eating them at an unhealthy rate. It worked. Most of them are still there.
I bought the B-12 and have remembered to take my vitamins 5/7 days.
I ran on the treadmill yesterday and my goal was to do 2 miles in 25 minutes. I did intervals of 90 seconds at 3.8 miles (walking) and 5.8 miles (running) and I DID IT! I finished with 2.01 miles in 25 minutes. That's my new record (12.5 minute mile)! It was amazing!!!

What do I want to work towards next week?

Expect to see this one for a while because it's that important: I want to track at least 5 days.
I am going to a Halloween party this weekend. In order to be successful, I will eat wisely before I go, plan out my alcohol points and bring my healthy snacks.
I want to start drinking hot water with lemon. Someone mentioned it in tonight's meeting and it sounds fantastic. I'm going to try it in the mornings and maybe I can even ween myself off coffee!

I'll close this out with the quote that was on the board tonight, which I liked - "Make the decision then do something - no matter how big or small - toward accomplishing what you want." (no source was listed)

Have a great week, everyone!

And since a few of you asked, this is the heart rate monitor I bought. I plan to do a full blog on it in the near future, but you can check it out there in the meantime.

How and why I started working out after 35 years of Slothfulness

2009-10-18T18:06:00.001-04:00

If you're familiar with this blog or know me in real life, you likely know that I spent the first 35 years of my life being totally sedentary and truly, embarrassingly lazy. I still get asked by people what made me start working out. To see where I am today, I feel, is nothing short of amazing. But how did I get here? It started in my head, in my thoughts. While I have blogged about it a few times (see here, here, here, and here), I want to address it again and include some insight and perspective that I acquired along the way.

It's so easy to coast through life, living every day without giving what you're doing much thought, telling yourself "I'll do xy or z someday"; but unless you stop and think about where you are and what you are doing and where you want to go, you'll miss out and wonder where the time went - years will go by and those things will never happen.

Something in me woke up when I was turning 35. It was like a cold slap in the face. I asked myself why I was living in a way that upset me so much - I hated my body. I hated how I looked and I hated the way I felt about myself and my life. In short, I hated myself.

But I realized that I was responsible for how I looked and felt. I had become the sum of my poor food and activity choices, which the world could see no matter how hard I tried to hide them. I knew that unless I did something about them, I was going to continue to live that way, or possibly even worse. I reluctantly accepted that I wasn't going to wake up one day and be happy with my appearance or myself, I had to work on it. I had to make a commitment to change. Because if I had made the choices that brought myself to that point of despair, depression and self loathing, surely I could make different choices that would lead me in the other direction.

Being close to 200 pounds and desperate to lose weight, I joined the YMCA in September 2006. I didn't have any expectations at that time either - I didn't expect to keep my membership for very long and I certainly didn't think I would ultimately change my body, my attitude towards activity or my life overall. But that's exactly what happened. (And I still say it's one of, if not THE best decisions I ever made in my life.) And there were two basic trains of thought that jolted me from the couch and got me to the gym: 1) Appreciating my body and 2) Facing my own mortality.

1) APPRECIATING MY BODY:
There are people who are born with physical limitations, and people who later develop limitations, whether through accident or illness. I tried to imagine how horrible it must be to know that your body is physically incapable of doing certain things and how difficult it must be to accept that fate. Yet here I was with a perfectly able body that was just being wasted and neglected - a body that was fully functional but not being used to its potential, if at all. I felt guilt and shame for taking that for granted when I knew there were people that would probably do anything in their power for the chance to do something as simple as walk.

2) FACING MY MORTALITY:
I also thought about the fact that I'm not going to live forever, I'm not going to get another chance to be the age I am now, and this is not a dress rehearsal: I am never going to live this life again. I have one chance to make my life as awesome as possible, and I was tired of throwing it all away, taking it for granted, and making myself miserable in the process. I will be dead one day. Who knows when? It could happen tomorrow. I better enjoy what precious little time I have here! I had already missed out on my entire youth (grade school, teens, 20's, half my 30's) being fat and unhappy and I knew that I did not want to live like that anymore. I realized that I had a chance to take back my life, that no one could do it for me, and that the only one stopping me was me. If I wanted to enjoy whatever youth I had left, and the rest of my time on this planet, I needed to change. Immediately.

While those thoughts may be a little intense for some people to wrap their heads around, it was those precise lines of reasoning that got me to join the gym. But unfortunately, joining is not enough, you need to actually attend and move :). And if you're wondering, yes, it was difficult at first. When I initially started working out, I did not like it at all. I was so out of shape that any little thing I did was exhausting. I was embarrassed about how I looked and self conscious about how quickly I would get out of breath and have to stop. But I continued doing it because I felt like it was my last chance to get the life I wanted. I *had* to do it, so I did it. And after not too long (about 10 weeks), I *wanted* to do it and looked forward to it. That brings me to where I am today...

Recently I had a very scary moment that made me appreciate my body all over again - days before the Century Bike Tour, while I was in punk rope class, I had an incredibly sharp pain in my ankle. The pain was so intense, I had to stop immediately. I tried cracking my ankle and stretching, then jumping again, but it still hurt too badly. I had to finish the rest of the class putting most of my body weight on the other leg. Because my jumping was compromised that way, it meant I couldn't do the crosses, double jumps and other fancy moves that I love doing. This was greatly upsetting to me. I hated being limited in that manner. And when it came time to do the relay, I realized I could not participate because I could not run. After years of avoiding running because I hated it, I suddenly wanted to run, but I could not. My body would not allow it.

I was so overcome with emotion at that moment that I left class and began to cry in the hallway. I thought "What if there is something seriously wrong? What if I will never be able to jump rope or run again?!" It was a really scary feeling. The thought frightened and frustrated me but simultaneously I was amazed at what it meant: I was actually upset that I couldn't run! I never thought the day would come when I would be upset by that, but I was beyond upset. I was terrified. I never wanted to run more than I did at that moment - when I feared the option to do so had been taken away from me forever.

Standing in the hallway, I realized it was another significant moment for me - I reminded myself that I can not and would not take my body for granted. I still didn't know what was wrong but I wanted to believe that my injury was temporary and that soon I would be able to run and jump again. And when I was able to, I would remember how I felt at the time that I couldn't use my body, and I would be motivated by that experience.

And I did just that!

Within a few days I was back to normal (I think I just didn't warm up and stretch properly that night) and at the first opportunity, I got back on the treadmill to run - because I COULD. It was exhilarating! I used the memory of how scared I was that I might not ever be able to run again, and pushed myself a little bit harder - because I could. At that moment, I was so grateful to be able to run. I've used that memory in other classes since then too, reminding myself to push myself a little harder and do what I can *while* I can.

So whether you have never worked out or if you have been slacking off in the activity department, keep all of that in mind. You're not guaranteed anything in life. You're lucky to be alive and fortunate enough to do whatever it is you are capable of doing. But any of that can be taken away at any moment, so don't regret what you should have done when you had the opportunity. Do it now, while you can. Enjoy your body and the amazing things it can do. You'll probably even surprise yourself by what you are able to do - things you never thought possible. Things like riding a bike through 5 boros in the rain, or riding a bike for 70 miles or doing a 5K. As I like to remind myself often, "The only thing stopping me is me". Don't stop yourself. Anything's possible. The choice is yours. Do it... while you can.

On an unrelated note, I'd like to thank Amber for including this blog in her list of 50 Excellent Women's Health and Beauty Blogs. Check out her list, you may find more blogs that you enjoy. (Thanks, Amber!)

Weekly Meeting Topic: Taking Care of Yourself

2009-10-13T21:12:00.006-04:00

Tonight we talked about why it's so important to take care of yourself in relation to your journey. There are so many ways and so many opportunities you get every day where you can take care of yourself. Here are just a few:

Make time to exercise: this may involve getting creative with your activity and/or sneaking it in if you are pressed for time, but remember - even 5 minutes is better than no minutes.
Preparing and controlling your environment: making shoppings lists, going shopping, having the right foods/tools in the house sets you up to be successful.
Being assertive: telling people what you need and want from them (family, friends, co-workers, waiters, etc). Do not back down. Let them know what you need and that you're serious about it.
Get enough sleep: When you're tired, don't eat to try to stay awake - it never works and you end up going to bed anyway, with extra calories consumed. Just go to sleep, your body will thank you and you'll be fresher the next day.

Now, I love whenever we mention this topic. Mostly because I have no problem doing any of these things and like any chance to remind people to make themselves a priority.

Back when I had my original leader in Brooklyn, she would always ask me to speak when this topic came up - just because I seemed to be the only person in the meeting that had no problem putting myself first, and I was more than glad to expound the greatness of living this way.

Maybe it's because I have the luxury of not having to take care of anyone else in my life, or maybe it's just because I'm selfish by nature, but I have no problem putting myself first, being assertive and doing what I know is best for me.

Anyone who knows me in real life will tell you that I do not respond to guilt or pressure from outside sources. In fact, If I have a struggle, it's internal. I don't let other people have that power over me.

So when I do not want to do something, I say no at the risk of someone else's feelings. I am as polite about it as possible, but I still decline because I know that in the long run, I need to do what's best for me, not what other people want.

If I know a experience will be challenging, I think about if it's really worth it to me before I agree to do it. If I have any control over the event/situation, I grab it (bring my own food, suggest a different place, show up late so I miss the meal, etc). I really believe in putting yourself first, regardless of the situation - food or otherwise. I think most people have a problem doing this, but I like to remind them that by taking care of yourself, you are then better equipped to take care of others.

So if you are not used to this concept, try to embrace it - Make yourself a priority, and do what you need to do to take care of yourself. You will be better off for it ad everyone around you will benefit from a better you.

At the end of the meeting, the leader shared a quote with us which I really liked - "To eat is a necessity but to eat intelligently is an art." (There was no source listed) I think that's fantastic!

Now for my weekly questions-

What did I accomplish this week?

Tracking: I wanted to track at least 5 days, I only did 3. I have no excuse. I just need to be more diligent and get better with it. Consistency is so important, and I know that.
5K: I completed my first 5K on Sunday (I earned a bravo sticker for it at the meeting tonight)

What do I want to work towards next week?

Tracking: I will track 5 days if it kills me!
Getting my hemoglobin up: I tried to donate blood yesterday but was shy of the 12.5 minimum hemoglobin reading (I had 12.3), so I am going to be extra diligent about taking my vitamins. I also picked up B-12 which I learned is something all vegans need. I'm also going to make sure I eat more dark leafy greens than normal and have a return appointment in 2 weeks.

And just for fun, here is a photo of me at work today with my dear officemate, William (aka Sour Balls) and Joe G. How cute are they? This was right before William and I did the stairs today (40 flights)-

I love those boys.

Have a great week, everyone!

Fitness Adventures: My First 5K

2009-10-12T19:40:00.006-04:00

Yesterday was a day for the history books, dear blog readers. For, I not only officially became a "runner" (my punk rope instructor said so), but Elaine and I made the leap from Athlete (stop laughing) to Bi-Athlete. That's right. Yesterday, we completed a biathlon! (Sadly, this is a real word, Lainy thought she made it up) Let me explain...

As most of you know, yesterday was my first 5K, "Get to the 'Point!" (a clever play on an expression, combined with an abbreviated version of my neighborhood, Greenpoint). It was a local run through the neighborhood that I live in, to raise money for St Stan's Athletic League (I think they use the money to provide kids with sporting equipment or pay for activities for them).

First I'll tell you the story, then I'll show the photos.

It was a beautiful day, sunny and a little chilly. I loved that it started at 1:00pm. (That meant I didn't have to wake up at 5:30am like I do for the bike tours.) I headed over shortly after noon, checked in, collected my goody bag and found my 5K partner and one of my favorite people in the world, my pal Lainy.

We warmed up a little and when the run began, we started with a nice paced jog. My plan was to jog/run as much as I could, but then slow down to a fast walk when necessary, then start running/jogging again. And we did just that. We'd run a block or two, then walk. I used my heart rate monitor as my guide. Anytime my heart rate hit 170 (which happens pretty quickly when I run), we'd stop running, and then walk until I got down to about 130. Then we'd start running again. It worked out really well.

As we ran/walked, we talked about my favorite topics: men and food/activity related stuff. Lainy's 10 years younger than me, but always has good insight and always makes me laugh. I'd even forget we were doing the event until NYPD that were stationed at the corners, or the neighborhood folk who were outside, cheered us on - then I'd kick it into high gear again, at least until my heart rate got too high.

Despite being physically able to complete it, about 2/3rds through it, I do remember saying "I $%#!@ hate running!". But before I knew it, I saw the glorious Finish Line and it was over.

I didn't have that amazing sense of accomplishment like I did from the 5 Boro bike tour, since three miles by foot is really nothing to me (I walk more than that on any given day). But I was glad I did it and I really enjoyed the day, the weather and the experience. I hit the finish line at under 43 minutes, but since I didn't understand the finish line process, the statistics on their website show me over 43 minutes:

After the 5K, I treated Lainy to brunch at Greenpoint Coffee House. And then, since it was beautiful outside and I was on my bike, I told her I'd escort her home to the Upper East Side of Manhattan. So by tacking on about 20 miles of biking to my 3 miles of walking/running - that is how Elaine and I became Bi-Athletes.

Here are my heart rate monitor stats for my biathlon:

5K: 44 minutes, 40 minutes in zone, 146 average HR, 360 calories*
Bike: 66 minutes, 64 minutes in zone, 142 average HR, 510 calories**

*I turned it on and off before the start and after the finish, thus the extra minute.
**This doesn't include the biking to and from the race. This was just to ride Lainy home and back.

Clearly, biking wins. It's also easier and more fun. But I'm still going to give running a chance. I'd love to build up my stamina and endurance, so I'll continue doing some interval training on the treadmill. And now that I know the Greenpoint 5K keeps such great records, I will take it more seriously next year (no stopping for water and waiting for them to find cups! less talking and laughing, more moving!). I'm looking forward to slaughtering this year's stats. I'm even going to shoot for 38 minutes or less (shaving 5 minutes off this year's time).

Here are the photos-

View of the Starting line:

And because I'm completely predictable, here I am in the church bathroom before the start:

This is St Stan's:

I asked a bystander to get a photo of Lainy and me before the start:

Lainy warms up (hilariously):

This guy handed me his card and offered to be a boyfriend to either of us. Nice to know he's happy with whatever he gets. (Who's a lucky gal?)

Waiting to begin the run:

Running on Driggs:

Follow the yellow arrows! (Running on North 12th, turning onto Berry):

The 1 mile mark on Lorimer (by Norman):

The 2 mile mark on Manhattan Ave (by Meserole):

Not for nothing, but this really pisses me off (discarded cups on Nassau):

Running towards the Finish line:

I rode my bike the entire course later to get this shot of the painted finish line on the ground:

Power brunch @ Greenpoint Coffee House with Lainy:

The biathlon is over, back at home-

And since it's now tradition after both bike tours, showing off my souvenir t-shirt:

It was a great day and a fun experience. And I'm so glad I had my girl Lainy there with me. Thanks, Lainykins! And thank you all for your support and well wishes!

Recipe: Vegan Pumpkin Pancakes

2009-10-11T09:15:00.011-04:00

I was having lunch in the city yesterday with Laurie Notaro (yes, The Laurie Notaro. I totally just name dropped) and I was telling her about my favorite new weekend breakfast: high fiber pumpkin pancakes! She asked if I posted the recipe online yet, which I have not, so I documented the process this morning. Not only are these pancakes delicious, but they have a ton of fiber (about 10g per serving) and the addition of pumpkin and spices makes them great for autumn! But you can leave them out for plain high fiber pancakes, or add your own ingredients - fruit or whatever. Get creative!

Ingredients:

Bob's High Fiber Pancake & Waffle Mix, 1 cup (7 points)
Canned Pumpkin, 1/2 of a 15 oz can (1 point)
Oat Bran, 1/3 cup (1 point)
Unsweetened Applesauce, 4 oz (.5 point)
Water, 3/4 cup
Cinnamon, Ginger, Nutmeg and Cloves, 1/4 tsp each (0 points)

Yields: 3 cups mix
Servings: 3
Points per Serving: 3

(Add all ingredients in any order, it doesn't matter)

In a mixing bowl, add 1 cup of pancake mix -

Add pumpkin (1 cup) and unsweetened applesauce (4 oz)-

Add spices and water -

Add 1/3 cup oatbran -

Stir all ingredients until they are smooth and well blended. (If you prefer thinner pancakes, add a little more water or some milk/soy milk. If you like them thick, leave them as is. It's always better to start too thick and then add liquid if necessary)

When I was done mixing the ingredients, I transferred them into this great measuring cup from the Container Store. As you can see, this batch of mixture comes out to 3 cups. Putting it in this measuring cup before cooking the mix helps because I can be aware of how much mix I use. It's built in portion control. 3 cups = 3 servings.

Since the cup also has a spout, you can pour it out easily onto your griddle -

And the best part of this measuring cup is the snap on plastic lid that keeps the mixture fresh in the fridge for a few days. I love this product!

ok, back to the recipe...

Obviously, you pour the mixture on the grill, cooking one side-

then flipping and cooking the other-

Within minutes, you have your gorgeous, hearty, healthy, delicious pancakes!

I added a tiny amount of vegan butter (1.5 tsp) and maple syrup (2 tbsp) for an additional 3 points-

Doesn't that look awesome?! It is! I love these pancakes! Enjoy :)

And if you're in Greenpoint today between 1 and 2, look for me in the 5K. I'll be running/walking with Lainykins. Not sure what I'm wearing yet, but it will involve actual sneakers and appropriate attire. Here's the course route.

Also, tomorrow I am going to "Tweet what I Eat". If you want to follow along, send a request to follow me on Twitter.

Weekly Meeting Topic: Shaking it up on WW (and links to my guest blog posts for Fred Flare)

2009-10-06T20:38:00.006-04:00

Tonight we talked about boredom on plan and shaking things up. It's probably obvious, but boredom can be dangerous because it can lead to us slipping back to previous behavior, and we don't want to do that. Everyone in the room contributed to the conversation when the leader (who I really like) asked us what we do to prevent boredom. Here are some ideas that may help or inspire you:

Food Boredom - It can be easy to eat the same foods all the time, but eventually you may get tired of them. Fortunately, I love trying new foods and recipes, and that's an easy fix for this problem. Lately I've been experimenting with different vegan products, but have also been treating myself to different kinds of pears and apples since they're in season and there's an abundance of variety right now. I have not been disappointed with any of them yet! And I love trying new recipes - I sometimes look for them on the WW website, but find a lot of good ones in Real Simple magazine, and the NY Times website (this one sounds awesome!). I also have a great new Vegan cookbook I've been 'reading' (thank you, Sherry!) and I can't wait to try some of those recipes! (And to my Greenpoint friends, I am even considering hosting a brunch with this book! Vegan, of course. That's right, I might actually allow people in my apartment!)

Activity Boredom - If you're bored with your workout routine, don't let that be an excuse to stop working out. Find something new! As most of you know, I recently incorporated some running into my weekly workouts, as well as the Total Body Conditioning (strength training) class. I still do my other workouts because I still enjoy them - Punk Rope, pilates, cardio machines and bike riding. (Wow, I never thought I'd do that much activity in a year, let alone a week, go me!)

So if you're getting bored with your food or activity choices, it's probably time to think about what you can change to shake it up. Sometimes it's all you need to feel motivated and excited about your journey again!

And here are my weekly follow ups-

What did I accomplish this week?

This week I tracked 4 days. Not as good as last week, and not as good as I wanted to do, but better than I was doing over the last few months. I am still working towards making this a daily habit.
I managed to take my vitamins 6 days this week - I think that's a record for me! I'm really trying to make this a daily habit too, and I'm off to a really good start.
I gave the chocolate section and the peanut butter section in Whole Foods the stare down last week. Not only that, but I told them they had no power over me and I was not going to fall for their delicious charms! (Fear not, I said it in my head, no one saw the crazy...) Again, instead of eating chocolate on the walk back to work, I had a delicious and refreshing seltzer, which I really look forward to now!
I created a spreadsheet to track my activity and the associated statistics from my new heart rate monitor (I love that thing!). I burn way more calories than I realized, especially biking! I'm still collecting data but I will share it eventually.
I finished reading The End of Overeating recently (awesome, highly recommended!) and started reading another new book, Skinny Bitch, which I LOVE. I should review them in future blogs... if I ever get around to it.
A co-worker gave me a box of Boo Berry cereal (my all time favorite cereal - I even have a Boo Berry tattoo) and what struck me after the fact was that I had no emotional reaction to the gift. I realized that I am not even tempted to eat it! It's simply a box with a cute cartoon ghost and some non-food contents inside. That's amazing progress and shows how far I have come in thinking about food and what I am willing to put in my body - The artificial food ban that I began in May has been one of the most profound and surprisingly easiest rules I've implemented. I never thought I could keep a box of that in my house without wanting to eat it!

What do I want to work towards next week?

I will track at least 5 days, but try for 7.
As for my upcoming 5K this Sunday, I hope to complete it in 40-45 minutes.
I want to have a day this week where I "tweet what I eat". I think it will keep me on program, the same way photographing my food for a blog does.

And on the topic of my Weight Watchers journey, I just want to mention that I've been guest blogging over at Fred Flare recently (because keeping up with three of my own blogs just isn't enough for me!). Here are two of my weight-related posts - It's Never too Late to Feel Great! and How a Glamour Girl Dresses for the Gym. Check them out if you can, and also check out the rest of super-cute Fred Flare. They're Bitch Cakes approved!

Have a fantastic week, everyone!

Weekly Meeting Topic: Managing Feelings without Eating

2009-09-29T18:29:00.007-04:00

Tonight we talked about something I think everyone with a weight problem can relate to - eating because of emotions instead of hunger. Somewhere long ago, in all of our lives, we learned to use food to make us feel good. And when we are upset, sad, stressed, etc, food is often what we turn to because it's the quickest way to feel good when we are trying to avoid those feelings.

Of course we all also know from experience that the good feeling is very temporary, and is usually followed by feeling even worse - because not only will food not solve the initial problem, but it will add a new problem: ingesting food/calories we do not need, and then feeling bad about that too.

Sound familiar? I would be surprised if it didn't.

The fact is that in the long run, food is not going to help in these situations. I know we all realize that when we're not *in* the moment. Being in the moment makes it much harder for that logic to work. That's why it helps to think it through now, when you're not in the moment and can be logical and objective, and to come up with a plan. That way, the next time you identify that you are eating out of emotion, you are prepared.

We discussed some strategies for handling emotional eating. But before you can come up with plans to change your behavior, you should identify when it happens. First, think about when you've eaten out of emotion. Which emotions or situations cause you to eat? (for me, it's stress, frustration and sadness). Then question why you turn to a particular food (I turn to sweets), how it 'helps' (it's soothing and comforting), and what other non-food thing you can turn to in order to get that same sense of relief or satisfaction next time that feeling or situation arises (I like to play with my cat when I'm home, or go for a walk when I'm at work).

Lastly, remind yourself:

If you eat, you may feel good for that brief moment; but you will feel worse later.
To allow yourself to feel the feeling.
Food is not going to help, and will likely create a new problem.
Whatever you are feeling is only temporary.
You are stronger than you think.

Feel the feelings. Don't feed them! :)

And last week I mentioned I wanted to answer the followig questions in my weekly blog post, so here goes:

What did I accomplish this week?

My goal was to track at least 5 days, and I did just that! 5 days of tracking! Including one day when I consumed 51 points (yikes). Although I exceeded my weekly points because of it, this was a huge victory for me because previously, when I knew I was over in points, I did not track. I'm proud of myself for being accountable and recording the food. It wasn't as scary as I expected, and it felt great!
A bad habit that I let myself develop recently is that when I go to Whole Foods or Target during lunch time, I buy a dark chocolate bar that's 15 points and I eat the entire thing on my walk back. The whole thing! 15 points! I only get 20 per day! This week when I went to Whole Foods, I wrestled with myself over buying that chocolate bar. Not only did I not buy it but I instead treated myself to a seltzer with lime. Zero guilt and zero points for the same price on the walk back to the office.
I went back to face the Total Body Conditioning class that kicked my ass the week before. I made it through the class without being on the verge of tears, and I got a great workout!
I signed up for a 5K in my neighborhood next Sunday. I'm sure I will walk the majority of it (quickly, of course) but want to do my little bit of running spurts I've been practicing on the treadmill.
I bought a large bag of almonds and made my own 2 point baggies with it! This was an accomplishment because I've bought the big bag many times with the intention of making portion controlled baggies, but I never do. I just eat the whole bag without counting it.

What do I want to work towards next week?

I will track at least 5 days again
I will use my new heart rate monitor for my workouts and keep track of my stats

I can totally do that. Have a great week, everyone.

Fat Photos of me from my gothic phase in the early 90's

2009-09-28T20:24:00.004-04:00

Ugh, these are so completely awful, I don't even know where to begin...

Ok, recently, I was looking through a box of photos. I came across an envelope titled "My Really Fat Pictures". I was afraid to look inside, but I simply had to. What I stumbled upon was me. In 1990-1991. I was 19-20 years old, very heavy (about 200 pounds), and very unhappy - which you will see in my painfully fake smile.

It was surreal to see these. Deep down, I know they are photos of me, but I feel like I am looking at another person. I think the hardest thing for me to look at (even harder than the fake smile) is my unkempt eyebrows. *shudder*

Have a look for yourself...

For the record, I did not grow out of this look for quite a while, even after losing weight. Here I am in 1994, on my 23rd birthday at my lowest adult weight ever - 140 pounds:

This is also from 1994, at Washington Square Park in NYC -

Wow. That's... embarrassing. Anyway, I promised to post those photos, so there you go.

I am really REALLY glad I am not that person anymore - mentally or physically.

*Bitch Cakes*: A Neurotic Glamour Girl's Weight Watchers Experience and Fitness Adventures

Reader Question: What was hardest to give up when you started and how did you deal with it?

Weekly Meeting Topic: Reframing Stress

Recipe: Vegan Apple Sage Sausage w/ Vegetables over Whole Wheat Macaroni

Weekly Meeting Topic: Food Ruts (and photos from my Thanksgiving Bike Ride!)

Activity and Fitness: Long Live Punk Rope!

Pics from the NY Bike Jumble!

Giving Thanks - for being alive

Weekly Meeting Topic: Emotional Eating and Holidays

Recipe: Pumpkin Yogurt

Weekly Meeting Topic: Being Thankful

Stair Master, continued, followed by a touching moment

Numbers, Stats and a great day for a bike ride in NYC!

Weekly Meeting Topic: Holiday Traditions

Weekly Meeting Topic: Strategies for Staying Motivated through the Holidays

Success is the confidence to wear a bodysuit in public

Biggest Loser: I finally <3 Jillian

Review: Polar F4 Heart Rate Monitor

Weekly Meeting Topic: Eating Healthier the Easier Way

How and why I started working out after 35 years of Slothfulness

Weekly Meeting Topic: Taking Care of Yourself

Fitness Adventures: My First 5K

Recipe: Vegan Pumpkin Pancakes

Weekly Meeting Topic: Shaking it up on WW (and links to my guest blog posts for Fred Flare)

Weekly Meeting Topic: Managing Feelings without Eating

Fat Photos of me from my gothic phase in the early 90's

Bitch Cakes: A Neurotic Glamour Girl's Weight Watchers Experience and Fitness Adventures