Nanny Knows Best

Co-op and Vodka

2009-11-10T12:34:00.001Z

Re my earlier article about the vodka incident in a Co-op, my spies inform me that the story is running on Radio 4 at the moment.

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Noddy Goes PC

2009-11-10T01:45:00.000Z

Last week, whilst drinking my breakfast juice, I was watching the BBC morning show and saw a discussion about the "new, improved" Noddy.

Seemingly, in these days of obesity and general porkiness, Noddy has been slimmed down (lest he become a corrupting influence).

Additionally, there is now no such thing as a "naughty" person/teddy bear/goblin etc.

For why?

Telling someone that they are "naughty" constitutes "victimisation" and "stereotyping".

Only actions can now be described as "naughty".

Got that everyone?

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The State Has Become The Enemy of The People

2009-11-09T09:18:00.004Z

Those of you who are still in denial about the state monitoring your every move may care to read this odious tale.

A mother, who wishes to remain anonymous, was shopping with her two young kids in the Co-op in Woolston, Southampton.

The kids had been acting up for some time, and she gave them a verbal warning that she would smack them if they didn't behave. The warning sufficed, and the kids behaved.

Unbeknown to the mother, an off duty policeman overheard her and followed her home.

Six weeks later two officers came to her home and questioned her about the alleged incident. She then received a letter from Southampton council telling her that her actions had been "put on record" for at least the next 14 years.

Now, whilst it may be "reasonable" for the police to follow up on something that they felt was a possible criminal offence, here's why this is so odious:

1 The police claim to be concerned about the possible actions of the mother, and the safety of the children. Why did they take 6 weeks to follow this up? Surely if they really believed that she was such a threat to the kids, they should have stormed her house on the day of the incident?

2 No court case has taken place and the mother has not been convicted, or even charged with a crime. Why did the police report this non crime to the state (Southampton council)?

3 Why does the council feel that it has a right to interfere in a non criminal domestic matter?

4 Why is there a permanent record now on the council's files about this non crime?

Councils have gone way beyond the role that they should have in society (ie that of collecting refuse and other local logistical matters). They must be "put back in their box", and powers that they have awarded themselves removed from them.

The state has become the enemy of the people.

Southampton is a Tory council.

Here is their email complaints@southampton.gov.uk.

Here's David Cameron's email to tell him what you think: camerond@parliament.uk

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Zero Risk Bathing!

2009-11-08T11:06:00.000Z

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Nanny Bans Parents - Further Update IV

2009-11-07T01:09:00.000Z

Oh dear, it seems that the row over Watford Council banning parents from playgrounds won't go away:)

The Watford Observer reports:

"A letter sent to parents claimed that 'due to recently changed Ofsted regulations we have a responsibility to ensure that every authorised adult who enters our site is properly vetted and given a CRB (Criminal Records Bureau) check'."

Cate Hall, executive director at Watford Borough Council, then rushed to explain:

"There was however an error in the original letter we sent to parents when we said that the decision was due to recently changed Ofsted regulations.

The letter was sent without checking the contents with senior management or the mayor and I very much regret that it contributed to the confusion."

A classic example of Nanny state spin and lies, deny responsibility and blame an underling.

Factoid: These unelected executives and elected politicians are paid to take responsibility, and are more than happy to claim credit when something goes well; they have have failed, and should be removed from office.

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Pass The Sickbag Someone II

2009-11-06T10:55:00.002Z

In honour of the Grauniad's suggestion that fireworks be banned, I bought a box load yesterday and filled the air with noxious substances.

I also lit a small fire.

Our cat was nonplussed, and watched the event through the window with passive indifference.

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Twats of The Year

2009-11-06T10:29:00.002Z

Oh my goodness, even in the anals (or is it annals?) of Nannyism this story (if it is true) way surpasses the norm for my "Prats of The Week" Award.

Hence I am awarding the Co-op and the Cranbrook police my coveted, and rarely awarded, "Twats of The Year" Award.

Please note the caveat "if it is true", because it sounds so absurd that surely it can't be true?

Anyhoo according to The Mirror, Sue Savage (a mum of modest stature) was shopping in her local Co-op in Cranbrook Kent.

Unable to reach the vodka bottles on a high shelf she asked her 15 year old daughter, Tara, (who stands at a commanding 6ft 3in) to reach for them.

Can you guess what allegedly happened next loyal readers?

Yes, that's right, a jobsworth supervisor appeared and told her to put the items back (Nanny thinks that the booze was for Sue's daughter).

Sue left the store and the booze. She then came back alone later, to buy the vodka.

Can you guess what happened next?

Yes, that's right, the store manager appeared (as if by magic) and said the he believed that she was going to supply a minor.

Factoid: it is not illegal for parents to offer their kids booze in their own homes.

Sue "went British" (ie stood up for herself and ignored officialdom), she placed £10 on the counter and walked off with the booze.

The Co-op minions warned her she was breaking the law.

Factoid: she wasn't unless they had proof otherwise.

Then, I guess out of sheer annoyance and fear, she rang police; they came along and told her to return the booze.

The story becomes unclear at this stage. However, the Mirror reports that she was then arrested and given a £80 fixed penalty.

If this is true then, without a doubt, both the Co-op and Cranbrook police are well both deserving of the "Twats of The Year" Award.

I would appreciate hearing from anyone with more information on this story.

In the meantime here is the Co-op's email address, feel free to say "Hi" customer.relations@co-op.co.uk.

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Pass The Sickbag Someone

2009-11-05T13:30:00.003Z

Given the many other far more odious sources of pollution that allegedly are contributing to environmental damage (eg planes, factories, forest burning, cows, cars, humans, politicians, newspaper production, wars etc), quite why the Grauniad thinks that fireworks should be top of the list for banning is beyond me.

Should Fireworks Be Banned on Environmental Grounds?

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Bonfire of The Numpties

2009-11-05T01:37:00.000Z

Here we are again folks, tis Guy Fawkes night!

Hoorah!

As expected, Nanny's anti firework and anti bonfire brigade are doing their level best to put the mockers on this fine event (celebrating a really bright bloke who wanted to get rid of all the politicians of his day!...that's the idea isn't?).

I am sad to see that the year on year negative publicity spewed out by Nanny has so worn down the organisers at Ilfracombe Rugby Club, that they can't even be bothered to ask their council for permission to have a bonfire.

Instead, put off by the "mountain" of paperwork and regulations set by council chiefs, they have opted to have a "virtual" bonfire!

Seemingly a real fire would have required five qualified fire marshals, and metal barricades to keep people at a safe distance.

The "virtual" bonfire will use giant heaters, lighting, sounds of crackling wood and a smoke machine to give the impression of a fire.

There will at least be some real fireworks (this year anyway).

So ends another fine British tradition, worn down by endless paperwork and nit picking bureaucracy.

Have it large tonight folks!

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Bonkers Conkers

2009-11-04T01:24:00.000Z

With conker season all but over it never ceases to amaze me how each year there is a crop of stories relating to over protective schools either banning conkers, or insisting on some form of "protection" being worn, on the spurious grounds of health and safety.

This year the same sad old "health and safety" issues have cropped up, as the pupils of Adlington Primary School in Macclesfield have discovered. The pupils there, who wanted to play conkers in the playground, were been ordered to wear safety goggles because of health and safety issues.

Miss Broadhurst, the headteacher, said:

"We are quite an academic school and were determined the kids should have some fun - but we do it safely.

In terms of wearing goggles we just considered it was better to be safe than sorry. Conkers are generally frowned on now because a child somewhere in the country, at some point, has been hurt playing a game.

I suppose it does really show that health and safety has gone over the top."

Ken says:

1 Wrap the kids up in cotton wool and they will never grow into mature, responsible, self reliant, confident adults.

2 What about the danger of wrists being bruised by a badly aimed conker? Why not insist on pads for hands as well?

3 Risk and danger is necessary for a healthy well balanced life, remove risk and danger and you kill the human spirit.

4 Kids will look for other ways of getting a "rush from risk", eg running across railway lines.

5 This type of overreaction merely transfers the adults' anxiety onto the kids, thus damaging them psychologically.

6 If this "does really show that health and safety has gone over the top", why on earth implement this daft policy?

All in all it is an over reaction to a low risk situation.

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A Nation of Brain Dead Numpties - Marks and Spencers

2009-11-03T01:52:00.002Z

It would seem that "brain dead numptiness" is spreading like a veritable plague, even that bastion of British shopping Marks and Spencer has come down with it.

Andree Evans, from South Mimms, recently toddled along to her local M&S to buy a birthday card.

She went to the checkout to pay, and the till beeped. Fortunately the M&S assistant was on hand to override the till.

Gosh, what could be wrong?

Nothing, for Andree was over 25.

Eh?

What are you saying Ken?

Ah, my loyal readers, I neglected to describe the nature of the card.

Was it porn?

No!

It had a photo of a wine glass, a corkscrew, five bottles of wine and another empty glass.

Eh?

The problem my loyal readers is that the picture related to booze, Nanny hates booze (not as much as she hates "weed", but she really does hate booze) and as such the card could not be sold to people who are under 25.

That at least was the view of the people at M&S who programmed the till, and the assistant who explained it to Ms Evans.

I assume Christmas cards featuring Santa are also age restricted, since he is a fat, red faced man who likes young children to sit on his lap and happily visits them in their bedrooms when their parents are asleep?

Sad to see M&S have gone down with "brain dead numptiness". Maybe we should send them a "get well" card?

Oh, but we had better be sure that it doesn't contain any pictures of booze; would a picture of boobs or "meat and two veg" be OK instead?

Drop them a note here M&S.

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Nanny Bans Parents - Further Update III

2009-11-02T17:42:00.001Z

Another email from Watford:

"I agree we have some lessons to learn I about to attend a " wash up " meeting on the topic and to try to work things out with our local paper.....agree about hysteria and leadership.
thanks
Dorothy"

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Nanny Bans Parents - Further Update II

2009-11-02T15:14:00.000Z

Another couple of emails on this subject:

"Hi Ken
I agree100% with you and this was the line I took in a Three counties radio phone in when I asked that very question. I actually said " what kind of a world have we created when an elderly man can't bend down to talk to a child in the street without fear of being being shouted at by a fearful parent. Do you know what his answer was???" I don't want a dirty old man talking to my kids on the street! We have paedophile paranoia whipped up be the media and to which our poor public institutions must respond - its a tricky balancing act but we are NOT CRB checking parents in playgrounds nor banning them!!
sincerely
Dorothy

Hi Dorothy

I think it fair to say that, whatever the "actualite" of the circumstances surrounding the playground issue, the "communications side" of it has not necessarily been handled that well.

Some of the comments on the local paper's site indicate that there is quite some divergence of views as to the "facts" of this matter.

Wrt paranoia I would suggest that the suitable "response" to "media induced hysteria" (which most certainly exists wrt many issues, not just paedophilia), is not for public institutions or the politicians running them to roll over and do what the hysterics want, but for the politicians to show some real leadership and stand up to the hysterics.

Allowing the tabloids and the mob to dictate policy will lead us further down the very unpleasant path that we have already been travelling for far too long.

Kind regards

Ken "

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Prats of The Week - Nanny Bans Lemons

2009-11-02T01:07:00.001Z

Oh my golly gosh, tis time for another prestigious "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to the Asda "superstore" in Aberdeen, for displaying Nanny Numptiness well beyond the call of duty.

Chris Pether, 70 years old, recently attempted to buy two lemons from Asda and was in the process of using the automatic checkout, when a message appeared on the screen of the checkout machine informing him that this was more than the maximum number he could purchase.

A supervisor duly appeared, who told him that health and safety rules prevented them from selling more than one loose lemon, orange or grapefruit.

What the fark?

For why?

It seems, my loyal readers, that local "yooves" (or is it "yoofs"?) have been throwing fruit at people.

Well now here are few observations:

1 Maybe the "yooves" were assisting people in reaching Nanny's "Five a day" target.

2 Whatever the "yooves" may, or may not, be up to since when is it a supermarket's business to get themselves involved with law breaking (if indeed it really is law breaking) matters outwith their own premises?

3 Errm, I assume that there is more than one establishment in Aberdeen from which fruits can be purchased? Surely the "yooves" will simply buy their fruit elsewhere?

4 Automatic checkout "rationing" such as this can be easily circumvented by simply creating separate checkouts for each product rationed; time consuming maybe, but still easy to do.

Ironically, and here's the really really daft part of all of this nonsense, Mr Pether was then informed that he could still buy a pack of ten lemons.

Eh?

Confused?

Simple my loyal readers, the lemons in the ten pack are smaller, and therefore less dangerous!

Mr Pether got his lemons, by paying for them using two separate transactions.

The Asda bunker, determined to make complete prats of themselves, then denied that they were rationing lemons at that store or indeed nationwide. A spokesman for the supermarket said:

"It sounds like one of our colleagues was having a really bad day.

People can buy as many lemons, oranges and grapefruits as they like."

If that was true:

- why was the checkout system programmed to refuse the transaction?

- why did the human supervisor not override the system?

Someone is telling porkies!

Asda, well deserving "Prats of The Week"!

Drop them a note here Asda.

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Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T10:30:00.002Z

Happy Halloween folks, have it large!

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Nanny Bans Parents - Further Update

2009-10-30T17:12:00.003Z

Further emails were exchanged today:

"Thanks XXXX

I have posted it on the site.

However, I would note that "Rebekah Makinson, mum-of-three, added: We have used Harwoods since I was a child and my mother stayed with me. "

http://www.watfordobserver.co.uk/news/4705034.Parents_banned_from_council_play_areas/

This doesn't tie in with the council explanation that "a handful of parents have been staying on, not just dropping their children off. Staff that run the facility felt they were getting in the way and diverting their attention away from focusing entirely on the children in their care " which implies that the rule change was in response to recent changes in parent behaviour.

Given that parents have been staying on for years, why change the rules now?

Creating a climate of fear is not the way to bring up children.

Kind regards

Ken Frost

Hello again

I think the point to make is that nearly all the parents that use the Harwoods site (now and in years gone by) drop their children off and don't stay, and all the parents at the other site, Harebreaks, drop their children off.

This small percentage of parents staying on at Harwoods has been acceptable over the years and not caused problems, but recently there have been issues that have affected our staff being able to run these to the best of their abilities - and the decision was taken to bring the two sites in line, but please rest assured this isn't something we've done lightly.

Again, I can't stress enough - knowing Dorothy as I do, she is 100% not somebody that buys into the 'every adult is a potential paedophile' view.

Best,
XXX
Political assistant to the elected mayor
Watford Borough Council"

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Nanny Bans Parents

2009-10-30T01:52:00.002Z

All adult are paedophiles, unless they can prove otherwise and are supervised, that appears to be the message from Nanny.

Parents in Watford have discovered this to their cost recently as the council, under the auspices of Mayor Dorothy Thornhill, have banned them from watching their own children at two council play areas (Harwoods and Harebreaks recreation grounds).

Nanny will place "vetted" council staff ("play rangers") in charge. The mayor says that this enforces government policy.

"Enforced government policy"!

That says it all, doesn't it?

Councils are now the "enforcers" of the state, they no longer act in the interest of the people who elect them.

Mayor Thornhill is quoted in the Watford Observer:

"Sadly, in today's climate, you can't have adults walking around unchecked in a children's playground."

Here's why she is clueless, and is talking absolute bollocks:

1 If you can't trust the parents (from a normal non feral family), who exactly are you meant to trust?

2 Parents have been supervising their own children for the last 150,000 years or so, without the need for state interference. Why now do we need it?

3 Is the Mayor familiar with the Salem Witch Trials? Does she not see the parallels between that and today's paranoia whipped up by a moronic mainstream media, compliant politicians and feeble minded councils?

4 Who gave this council the right to ban parents from overseeing their own children?

5 By stating that all adults (including parents) are potential paedophiles the state is placing a very large barrier between adults and children, making the children afraid of all adults. What kind of a world is being created here, where children are afraid of all adults?

6 Why should people trust the state to be in any shape or form involved in the upbringing of their children?

7 Why is the woman allowed out in public without adult supervision?

8 There is no "official" government policy that states parents may not supervise their own children. Please could Mayor Thornhill state which piece of legislation she is referring to?

What kind of a world have we created for children where they must now fear every adult they meet?

Since the media got wind of the story, the council have attempted to claim that there is no ban:

"The press have inaccurately reported what Harwoods and Harebreaks are; they are not open public facilities. They never have been. They are closed, fully supervised facilities.

They are no different to other fully supervised facilities, like schools, playgroups or nurseries - where adults are not allowed to stay.

Parents and carers are, of course, welcome to bring their children safely into the sites and settle them in."

Read the above carefully, and you will see that there is a ban; all the council have done is to "recategorise" the area as a "closed facility".

Not only do they ban parents, but when confronted the squirm and lie!

Why, if these really were closed facilities, were parents allowed in before?

Lies from start to finish!

Mayor Thornhill, and her "witch burning" council lackeys, need to removed from their offices without delay.

Mayor Thornhill claims to be a Liberal Democrat, snort!

Here is her email address themayor@watford.gov.uk

UPDATE

Just arrived in my email box from Watford:

"Dear Ken

The Mayor is not in the office today and I'm sure will email you herself, but I wanted to reassure you that she's not taken leave of her senses, and contrary to reports in the media, Watford Borough Council has not banned parents from public parks and playgrounds in the town!

This is about our adventure playgrounds, which are closed-off, fenced-in, fully supervised facilities for the over 5s. Parents drop off their kids and leave them in our care - no different to playgroups or schools where you wouldn't expect parents stay on. We have a responsibility to those parents to safeguard their children, and provide the best possible environment for them.

What has happened is that at Harwoods adventure playground a handful of parents have been staying on, not just dropping their children off. Staff that run the facility felt they were getting in the way and diverting their attention away from focusing entirely on the children in their care - who are enjoying more adventurous risky play, not just the usual slides and swings. They’ve now reluctantly decided its best to exclude these parents, and have brought the site in line with the other site Harebreaks, where parents don't stay on and they have no problems.

Quotes attributed to Dorothy have been taken out of context – she's not saying adults shouldn’t be allowed on playgrounds - that would go against everything she believes in – only on these specialised play facilities! And parents are allowed to come in and settle their children in, it's just not ideal that they hang around (and most don't), unless of course they become proper volunteers. We have 40 open public playgrounds elsewhere in the Borough where adults can stay and play with their children.

She's absolutely not a nanny state supporter!

Best wishes,

XXXXX
Political assistant to the elected mayor
Watford Borough Council"

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Nanny's Al Capone Powers

2009-10-29T01:06:00.001Z

We have known for quite some time that this country is being run by a bunch of gangsters, viz:

- Extortion via excessive tax rises and council fines

- Protection rackets via demands for licences and insurance fees for any activity whatsoever

- Bullying via the Iraq invasion, holding people without trial etc

However, in a twist of irony Nanny is now using a law designed to deal with "Al Capone" type "master" criminals against the ordinary person in the street; ie she is designating us all as potential "Al Capones".

The powers that police currently have to deprive crime barons of luxury lifestyles are being extended to councils, quangos and agencies to use against us.

These powers include the right to search homes, seize cash, freeze bank accounts and confiscate property.

Nanny is giving the following groups "carte blanche" (can I use French here?) to use these powers whenever they see fit; town hall officials and civilian investigators employed by organisations such as Royal Mail, the Rural Payments Agency and Transport for London.

Nanny's little chum Alan Johnson, the Home Secretary, is sneaking these powers in next week via a Statutory Instrument (this means parliament doesn't have to debate it).

Now why would a local council need such powers?

Well my loyal readers, isn't it obvious?

To collect backdated council tax, to tackle fare dodgers and other minor criminals.

At this point you might say, "So what? They are criminals, they deserve it!"

OK, but I would make a number of observations:

- The powers of the state should be in proportion to the crime.

- Punishment should be in proportion to the crime.

- Do you really trust the local councils not to misuse these powers? Remember what they did with RIPA.

- Do you really think that they state should have such powers, that can be used willy nilly against all and sundry? The state cannot be trusted.

- Imagine a time, not long hence, when ZaNuLabour increases council tax to unprecedented proportions. Under the current system there would be a wave of non payments, and people would use due process (as councils took them to court etc) to humiliate the government. Under these new powers the state would simply lock individuals down financially", at the stroke of a pen. How would you function without any bank account? This would kill any council tax protest stone dead within a matter of days.

The chairman of the Police Federation, Paul McKeever, is well pissed off with this; noting that the decision to hand over "intrusive powers" to people who were not police was made without consultation or debate.

He is quoted in The Times:

"The Proceeds of Crime Act is a very powerful tool in the hands of police and police-related agencies and it shouldn't be treated lightly.

There is a behind the scenes creep of powers occurring here and I think the public will be very surprised.

They would want such very intrusive powers to be kept in the hands of warranted officers and other law enforcement bodies which are vetted to a very high standard rather than given to local councils."

The Home Orifice (remember it has been classified as "not fit for purpose") has a plan to "embed" financial seizure in the criminal justice system. Labour have set a target to recover £250M in criminal assets by 2010, rising to £1BN per year soon after.

Ah Hah!

Ker Farking Ching!

We are all designated as prostrate milch cows, to be milked dry via taxes and fines in order to feed the ever growing appetite of the state.

Oh, and by the way, Nanny intends to create a whole new body of financial investigators who will be accredited, trained and monitored by yet another quango, the National Policing Improvement Agency.

More money here from course fees!

More interfering busybodies in uniforms to crush the individual!

Do you not see what ZaNuLabour (wasn't it the Telegraph that claimed that I had lost all sense of proportion the other day by calling them that?) is doing here?

They are creating a police state, that even the police don't want!

A Home Orifice memo states:

"Investigation bodies will receive a share of money recovered as additional funding to incentivise further work in recovering the proceeds of crime."

Thereby neatly incentivising these bodies to create false charges, in order to earn some more money.

As we all know the councils etc already have powers to reclaim debt etc, they most certainly do not need these extra powers.

They most certainly cannot be trusted with them!

The memo also say that the councils will be "less reliant on more traditional law enforcement agencies, notably the police".

Another police force has been created, under the direct control of the state.

THAT IS WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Power corrupts!

The state, under ZaNuLabour, has become the enemy of the people.

Here is Johnson's email Alan Johnson.

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Nanny 9-5

2009-10-28T01:38:00.000Z

Rules and regulations, mixed with an edifying dose of inflexibility, are Nanny's tools of trade, as Rita Longbottom discovered to her cost recently.

Mrs Longbottom, a dementia sufferer in her 80's, lived in sheltered housing scheme in Anchor Court Southport.

One afternoon she wanted to come back into the complex, having forgotten her key. However, owing to EU working laws, the live in warden was not allowed to be contacted by the managers (Anchor) of the complex (in order to open the door) because the law states that the warden must have an 11 hour break between shifts.

The result being that Mrs Longbottom had to wait outside for 6 hours (Anchor claim she "only" waited for 2 hours) whilst a locksmith was summoned by Anchor from several miles away.

Residents at the complex pay £28K for the warden to live on site.

There are a number of points that arise here:

1 It is fair enough that the warden has time off, otherwise people would end up taking advantage with endless petty requests. However, in this particular case, some commonsense should have been shown.

2 Errm...given that the neighbours were the ones who contacted Anchor, to let Mrs Rowbottom in, why didn't anyone of them let her sit in one of their houses whilst waiting for the locksmith?

Whatever happened to commonsense?

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The Dangers of Scouting

2009-10-27T01:05:00.000Z

I see that Nanny is trying to fiddle with boy scouts again.

This time her fiddling concerns the annual jamboree of around 10,000 scouts from around the world, a highlight of the scout calendar.

The event, despite being held for the last 90 years, is likely to suffer from Nanny's new laws regarding the interaction of adults with children.

Nanny now requires that adults who seek to interact with children register their details for background checks etc.

All very well, maybe, except for a small problem wrt the annual jamboree; there are 2,000 volunteers who help out at this event.

At £64 per head this amounts to a nice £128K potential money earner for Nanny. Doubtless she is licking her thin, sallow, lifeless, blood drained lips at the prospect!

However, the Scout Association is less than happy with this and is considering not bothering with the event. They are trying to see if Nanny will be reasonable and are writing to Ed Balls, the Children's Secretary, asking him to consider more flexibility for volunteer groups.

Pardon me whilst I choke on my early morning gin!

Nanny, being flexible!

No chance, lack of flexibility is her raison d'etre.

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The Dangers of Poles

2009-10-26T01:13:00.000Z

As we all know, Nanny's councils have something of a bee in their collective bonnets over "health and safety".

Rob Grice, a barber shop owner from Wigan, found this to his cost recently when his local council decreed that his barber's shop pole (a freestanding red and white erection...can I say erection?) presented a clear and present danger to the health and safety of pedestrians.

The council happily seized it!

Isn't that theft?

The odd thing is that this pole has been there for 19 years.

Why oh why would the council seize it now?

Hmmmm...

Shall we ask the council then my loyal readers?

Yes, let's ask the council!

Here's what they say:

"We work closely with access groups and it is our duty to look after the interests of people in wheelchairs and with white sticks.

Objects like these are not as stable as fixed street signs and we are being encouraged by Government to be much more proactive over things like this.

The sign was noticed by inspectors. The shop is in a narrow street. It was an accident waiting to happen. The proprietor was issued with a warning but he failed to respond so we were obliged to take it off him.

He is entitled to have it back if he pays the council £100."

Oh hoh!
Ah hah!
Teh heh!

The very last sentence contains the real reason for them lifting the sign...

Ker Farking Ching!

Here's how to contact the council: Wigan.

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Quote of The Year

2009-10-24T11:09:00.002+01:00

My compliments to Bill Dixon, 74, a British Legion volunteer poppy seller who has summed up in one sentence the problem wrt health and safety advice:

"This is the thing about health and safety, this government seems to think we have all been educated under the standards that you see in schools today, but some of us were actually taught common sense."

Exactly!

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Torygraph

2009-10-23T12:30:00.003+01:00

The Torygraph claims that I have lost all sense of proportion:

"In its broader sense it can be used to describe any situation where a poster loses all sense of proportion, for example describing New Labour as 'Zanu-Labour' after Robert Mugabe’s Zimbabwean political party Zanu-PF."

Could it be that the Torygraph hasn't bothered to read much of this site and hasn't managed to work out that I write, sometimes, with my tongue in cheek.

What say you my loyal readers?

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A Nation of Brain Dead Numpties

2009-10-23T01:50:00.002+01:00

As I have often stated on this site, living in the Nanny state (where everything is spoon fed to you, people are obliged to follow petty rules and procedures and we are discouraged from thinking for themselves) rots the brain.

Hey ho...and here we have proof, if it were ever needed, that the Nanny state really does rot the brain.

Jaz Bhogal, 15, found this to his cost the other day when he went to his local 99p store at Wisbech Cambridgeshire to buy some wine gums.

Can you guess what happened next loyal readers?

Yes, that's right, the shop assistant refused to sell them to him because Jaz was under 18.

Factoid: wine gums do not contain alcohol.

A cursory glance at the list of ingredients of said packet could have verified that, not to mention the fact that most people with half a brain know that.

However, living in the Nanny state rots the brain and the fact that the word "wine" was in the label ensured that an automatic "you're underage" mindset kicked in.

Not surprisingly the store owners have realised that they look like numpties and have apologised. Seemingly there was a "glitch" in the electronic till which flagged the product as "booze".

So that's alright then?

No it's not, because commonsense should have told the shop assistant that the till was wrong!

As noted, we have become a nation of brain dead numpties thanks to Nanny.

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Whistle While You Work!

2009-10-22T01:52:00.000+01:00

Dear oh dear, what a penny pinching bunch of old miseries the Performing Right Society are!

Sandra Burt, who works at the A & T Food Store in Clackmannan, found this to her cost recently when the music police banned her from singing behind the counter of the shop.

For why?

Cos she didn't have a licence to "perform".

A "mere" £80 to you guv!

Ker-Farking-Ching!

Why was she singing?

Cos the PRS threatened the shop owner with a fine if he didn't buy a licence for playing his radio to his customers, so he turned it off.

Gareth Kelly, music sales advisor for PRS, said:

"Using any copyright material in your store, without paying for it, is illegal.

It doesn't matter whether you're singing a Robbie Williams track, or listening to a Robbie Williams track, you still have to pay for it.

She could be fined for not having a live performance licence, and if the fine isn't paid, then she could potentially be taken to court."

The PRS said that Mrs Burt could be judged to be giving daily performances, which would require individual daily licences, taking the annual cost up to "four figures".

Good grief, what sad miserable country we have become!

Has no one in PRS ever heard the word "commonsense"?

Finally, after some hoo hah in the media, the PRS has now learned the word "commonsense" and has backed down and sent her some flowers with a grovelling note of apology.

"We're very sorry we made a big mistake.

We hear you have a lovely singing voice and we wish you good luck."

All very well, but it should never have tried it on in the first place.

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