Nanny Knows Best

Big Brother - HMRC's New Powers

2012-05-30T12:12:00.001+01:00

Be warned about the new powers that will be granted to HMRC, if the Local Government Finance Bill now before Parliament is passed.

The bill, in its current form, permits the routine disclosure of tax records and other personal data held by HMRC to council officers for several council tax-related purposes.

The powers also allow HMRC to disclose such details directly to contractors of the council (eg, perhaps those IT service providers based overseas or in the cloud); this could permit tax details to go to many destinations outside the European Economic Area.

The argument used by the state is that these powers enable councils to get information directly from HMRC to check claims for reduced council tax, as opposed to having to ask for the same information again from the persons seeking the council tax reduction.

All very "helpful" and "considerate" of the state, maybe. However, there is already an exemption from the non-disclosure provisions in section 29 of the Data Protection Act that covers the “assessment or collection of any tax or duty...”; ie this data can be shared already.

The new bill will increase the data share between HMRC and councils and, as indicated above, spread that data to organisations outwith councils and the UK.

There is also one other rather interesting aspect of the proposed bill:

"There is a provision that states: “Regulations under this paragraph must not be made except with the consent of the Commissioners for Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs”. This is the first time I have seen that the exercise of Ministerial Powers is to become subject to a veto by someone who is not the minister."

Is this a good idea to grant HMRC these extra powers?

I don't think so!

The state should be afraid of the people, the people should not be afraid of the state!

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Nanny's Contraception Advice

2012-05-29T08:57:00.000+01:00

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Nanny's Fat Obsession

2012-05-28T12:04:00.000+01:00

Nanny can be a really nasty spiteful individual at times, and nothing brings out the worst in her more than her obsession with obesity and her hatred of people that she defines as being "fat".

Step forward the anonymous "high-ranking person", and others within UK Athletics, who has/have described Jessica Ennis and Louise Hazel as being fat.

Aside from the very obvious point that it is clearly untrue, the damage done by such cruel comments to both the people it is aimed at and those with body dysmorphism is immense.

This type of bullying has been aided and abetted by Nanny's daily anti obesity propaganda, that vilifies those in society who do not meet her definition of physical "perfection" and the absurdity of using BMI as a means of judging whether someone is "overweight".

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Nanny Is Mother, Nanny Is Father

2012-05-25T11:07:00.001+01:00

Nanny, as she lives on a different planet to the rest of us, sometimes finds it hard to understand why people try to resist her advice and her attempts to "help" us for "our own good".

What Nanny chooses to ignore is that her "advice" and offers of "help", more often than not, turn into direct interference in people's private/family life.

Take, for example, the issue of kids using social network sites such as Faecesbook.

Where they use these sites at school during lessons etc, it is perfectly correct that the teaching staff put a stop it it when it disrupts lessons etc. If is also perfectly reasonable that if there is substantial evidence of a kid being threatened/placed in danger by someone on these sites, that teaching staff raise the matter first with the parents.

However, where there is no evidence of wrongdoing or disruption to lessons it is not the role of the teaching staff/Nanny to dictate to parents what social networking sites the child may use in the privacy of the family home.

Step forward Paul Woodward, headmaster of St Whites School in the Forest of Dean, who believes that it is Nanny's role to do just that.

Woodward, who is also branch secretary of of the National Association of Head Teachers, recently demanded that the state ban children from setting up social media sites.

For why?

He is concerned that kids who use the sites risk being exposed to porn and online grooming. He went on to warn parents that if they persist in allowing their kids to flout Faecesbook 13+ age rule, then this would warrant an investigation by child protection teams; ie he threatened to report them.

That is a really shitty nasty little threat to make!

He is right that social networking sites can be misused. However, the internet as a whole can be misused; it is not exactly difficult to access porn on the net, or indeed on mobile phones.

The issue is not the state dictating, or in Woodward's case, threatening parents; but it is a matter of the parents determining the level of access to the internet that they grant their kids (if at all).

One might ask why a child needs a mobile phone, given that for the last few millennia children and indeed the human race have managed to survive perfectly well without them.

Children's access to the net, booze and fast food ete is, when in the domestic situation, a matter for parents to decide not union officials of the state to dictate!

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Nanny Hates Fast Food - KFC Is Good For You

2012-05-24T12:04:00.000+01:00

In the event that this article in the Mail is true, then it appears that hospital food contains more salt and fat that Nanny's much hated fast food

"A Big Mac burger is healthier than three quarters of hospital meals, a study has revealed.

The survey, carried out by the campaign group Sustain, found that 75 per cent of NHS food contained more saturated fat that McDonald's signature burger, while 60 per cent had more salt.

In one case, a curry contained six times more fat that a KFC zinger burger with fries and on another occasion a pasta dish was found to have more than three times a person's daily recommended saturated fat intake and twice their salt limit."

Does this mean, given what I wrote yesterday, that Nanny will be banning people from eating in hospitals?

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Nanny Hates Fast Food

2012-05-23T11:45:00.000+01:00

As loyal readers are all too aware, Nanny really hates fast food.

Partly it's because it contains the ingredients that she has a bee in her bonnet about; eg salt, sugar, fat, starch, trans fats etc etc.

You know, the sort of ingredients that to a greater or lesser extent are found in all foods!

That aside, the other issue that really "grinds Nanny's gears" is the fact that (in her view) a large amount of fast food is eaten by "the lower orders" (a part of society that Nanny rather despises and is, in her view, not capable of looking after itself).

Therefore, not content with the pasty tax (the House of Commons, rather ironically, serves taxpayer subsidised "unhealthy" pasties), Nanny has come with another wheeze designed to stamp out the "curse" of fast food in poorer areas.

Her solution?

She intends to bans fast food shops from operating in certain areas, and to ban them from being situated near to public (ie state) buildings!

Step forward Haringey Council, which is set to become the first in the UK to limit the number of pizza, burger and kebab shops on its streets in an attempt to improve the health of its poorest residents.

A draft scheme is in place for the restrictions which would see planning applications for venues considered alongside the need to keep the number of takeaways strictly limited. New outlets could also be banned from within 400 metres of schools, youth clubs and parks.

Tam Fry, of the National Obesity Forum and chair of the Child Growth Foundation (doubtless these quangos are all paid for by the taxpayer!) is of the view that fast food should be banned from anywhere around public buildings and particularly where children are involved (won't someone think of the children!!).

It is not the state's role to stop us eating what we want!

Those who choose to kill themselves by eating crap everyday, have the right to make that choice. Whilst those who are fit and healthy, who choose to indulge once in a while should not be restricted from that indulgence.

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Eat Chocolate

2012-05-22T11:44:00.001+01:00

I am more than a little gemused to see that Nanny is twisting herself into all sorts of knots over the dangers of sugar (eg cupcakes vs cocaine), and her insistence that we feed kids fruit juice etc.

It would appear, and no one with half a brain should be in the least bit surprised about this, that some juice drinks contain more acid than vinegar.

Dr Kathy Harley, dean of the dental faculty at the Royal College of Surgeons, told the Sunday Telegraph that drinks such as smoothies contain a lethal combination of acid and sugar (this of course does terribly damage to the teeth).

Dr Harley said that a healthier option would be to give kids a glass of water and a handful of chocolate buttons!

She went on to say that Nanny's "five a day" advice (wrt fruit) should in fact be restricted to a "once a week treat".

Now I would like to offer some commonsense advice here, namely that if the kids were given milk and cheese after they had just consumed the fruit juice/fruit, then the acidity levels in the mouth would be neutralised. However, as we all know, Nanny has told us that milk and cheese are bad for us.

Maybe then a spoonful of salt, to counteract the sugar and kill the bacteria?

Oh, I forgot, Nanny hates salt as well!

Cupcakes - The New Cocaine?

2012-05-21T12:07:00.000+01:00

I see that the Telegraph published an article over the weekend that likened cupcakes to cocaine:

"We think we like cupcakes because they are “retro” and transport us back to our childhoods.

Nonsense. The nostalgia thing is an excuse.

We actually like them because they allow us to mainline sugar. Sugar is one of the substances and objects that are carving new patterns of addictive behaviour in a disorientated world.

Along with prescription drugs, internet porn, computer games and dozens of other consumer items, we are forming an intimate relationship with sugary snacks that supplements and complements the “traditional” addictions to alcohol, gambling and illegal drugs.

Increasing numbers of doctors think sugar does more harm to our arteries and our waistlines than fat etc etc."

Doubtless we will see Nanny banning grannies from having cupcakes, cherry bakewells and battenberg slices in the near future.

Anyhoo, I personally think that it was remarkably irresponsible of the Telegraph to publish such an article without a health warning, as I now have one of Mr Kipling's finest stuck up my left nostril!

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Nan Cam

2012-05-18T11:12:00.002+01:00

Loyal readers have been noting with increasing vexation that the Tory party has turned into a bit of a Nanny.

Well now it seems that this is indeed the case, as David Cameron has himself donned the mantle of "Nan Cam", and defended Nanny's plans for giving parents with children under the age of five £100 vouchers to attend parenting classes.

Nan Cam is quoted by the BBC:

"This is not the nanny state - it's the sensible state.

It's ludicrous that we should expect people to train for hours to drive a car or use a computer, but when it comes to looking after a baby we tell people to just get on with it.

I would have loved more guidance when my children were babies."

The vouchers are now available from health professionals and through Boots.

Nanny is also launching a new NHS online service for parents covering areas such as breastfeeding, nappy changing and post natal depression.

Expectant parents or those with a baby under a month old will be able to sign up for text and email alerts, providing them with "regular, relevant and tailored" advice including short government information films (remember those?) and advice from other parents.

This is all very well and good, maybe. The trouble is with any government "initiative", it ends up being used as an excuse to gather data on people and to pry into their private lives with the express intention of telling them how they should live their lives.

Good intentions or not, people simply do not trust the state not to overstep the mark.

I wrote about this last year:

"Poorer parents will be “incentivised” to attend courses to help them complete the “five-a-day” essential actions. They will be rewarded for attending classes with higher child benefit payments or annual bonuses.

Doubtless with all this nonsense being spoken about "moral decay" (hasn't Cameron ever looked at Hogarth's prints?), this campaign will receive even more prominence.

However, as noted above, normal parents (poor/wealthy) know perfectly well that they should play with, read to, engage...oh, and FEED! their children; they don't need the state to interfere in that.

In fact the more that the state seeks to interfere, the more people assume that it is in fact the state's responsibility to bring up their kids.

However, the "court absent" parents and those who think it normal that their "good little boy" carried a hammer taped to his leg whilst robbing a store (ie those who need to improve their parenting skills) will not take the slightest bit of notice of Nanny's advice ."

This will end in tears, as people will assume that it is the state's responsibility to bring up their kids!

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National Wanking Month

2012-05-17T11:54:00.000+01:00

As loyal readers know this site tends to concentrate on UK Nanny (quite simply put I would be writing articles 24/7 if I covered international Nanny). However, sometimes there comes piece of international Nannyism that is worth mentioning (even if it is just for a laugh).

My thanks therefore to A Modern Military Mother for alerting me to the fact that for the good people of the USA it is National Wanking Month.

Time was, in the UK anyhoo, that Nanny preached about the evils of wanking wrt it causing madness, blindness, fatigues etc. Some schools went as far as sewing up the pockets of schoolboys, lest they inadvertently fiddle with themselves.

How times have changed, now you can visit video chat rooms and be confronted with wall to wall wanking (whether you want to see it or not).

Anyhoo, the fact that Nanny is now telling us to do something that she once told us not to do just shows how ridiculous she is, and also demonstrates that we should always take her advice with a large pinch of salt (which she also doesn't approve of).

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Eggzactly - Eggs Are Good For You

2012-05-16T11:58:00.000+01:00

Loyal readers may recall that back in the dim distant past (February 2009 to be precise) I noted that Nanny's attitude to eggs had gone through a wee bit of a change.

"It seems that Nanny's anti egg campaigns of the past, in which she warned us of the alleged dangers of the cholesterol content of eggs, were a load of bollocks.

A paper prepared by the British Nutrition Foundation states that the cholesterol in eggs has only a small, and clinically insignificant, effect on blood cholesterol."

Well now some three years on and the Pennington Biomedical Research Centre in Louisiana has found that, in a test of 20 overweight or obese volunteers, those given an egg for breakfast, rather than cereal, felt less hungry come lunchtime, and consequently consumed less at an 'all-you-can eat' buffet.

In other words eggs fill you up more efficiently than cereal and other shite!

For why?

It's the protein.

Bloody obvious isn't it?

Now will someone please tell me why Nanny has been allowed to preach her perverted science over the last few years (which has been warning us that eggs are bad for us), when it is clear that our grandmothers etc were right all along when they told us that eggs were good for us?

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Admin Announcement Re The Olympics

2012-05-15T11:14:00.000+01:00

I have changed the url on my Olympics site, and this seems to have caused some issues with accessibility.

For loyal readers who sometimes visit the site, it can be found at the following url www.olympicsdiary.com

Sorry for the inconvenience.

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Booze Matters - Scottish Minimum Booze Pricing

2012-05-15T11:08:00.000+01:00

My commiserations to the good people of Scotland, who are having to endure the heavy handed approach of Scottish Nanny and her experiment in minimum alcohol pricing.

Scottish Nanny has decreed that she will set a minimum price for alcohol of 50p per unit. This is 5p higher than the figure which had been proposed in the previous parliament, and 10p higher than the daft proposal of English Nanny to raise booze prices to a minimum of 40p per unit.

Nanny is of the view that this would have a significant impact on drinking habits.

I beg to differ, as noted many times on this site before, those who wish to drink themselves to oblivion with super strength foul tasting shit will continue to do so. The rest of us will end up paying more for our drink, whilst Nanny receives a nice little earner from the increased tax.

Ker Farking Ching!

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Nanny Bans Glasses

2012-05-14T11:13:00.000+01:00

As loyal readers will recall, Nanny sometimes gets a bee in her bonnet about the use of real glass in glasses used to serve drinks in pubs and bars.

Seemingly, in Nanny's view, our drinking lives would be vastly improved (and made less risky) if the glasses were made of plastic.

For why?

The next time someone "bottles/glasses" us we would not be so seriously injured.

Factoid: drinks served in plastic really do not taste as good as when they are served in glass or pewter.

Well I don't know, I have been going into pubs and bars around the world for decades and no one, thus far, has ever tried to "bottle" me. I guess I must be going to some very boring places!

Anyhoo, yesterday evening my better half and I took advantage of the sunshine and went for a drink at a bar on the beachfront. Annoyingly this bar only serves its drinks in plastic glasses.

Not being inclined to move on, I decided to "tolerate" this abomination and ordered a bottle of red wine.

I was presented with the plastic receptacles and the bottle of wine (made from glass), which we then took outside.

Can you spot the error here children?

Yes, that's right, the bottle was made of glass!

That means I could have "bottled" someone, as opposed to "glass" them!

As with many of Nanny's daft rules, this is all really rather sill isn't it?

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Nanny Hates Fat People

2012-05-11T09:26:00.000+01:00

I see that yet another warning has come from a Nannyesque organisation, telling us that we are all becoming fat.

The improbably named European Congress on Obesity has extrapolated current obesity rates, and makes the rather bold prediction that by 2040 over 50% of us will be obese.

Well that's all very nice, if one assumes ceteris paribus. However, all other things are never equal.

Nanny is ignoring the very large fly in her oinkment, namely demand for food and food price inflation.

The United Nations’ Food and Agriculture Organisation (FAO) estimate that by 2050 the demand for food will have risen by 70%.

Quite simply put, because supplies will not be able to keep up with demand, prices will rise and our ability to afford to eat the same quantities of protein dense foods will fall; ie like it or not, we will be eating less because we will not be able to afford to eat the same portion sizes or food types as we do now.

This rather knocks holes in Nanny's theories about more than 50% of us becoming obese.

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Nanny's Olympic Gordian Knot

2012-05-10T12:29:00.000+01:00

I am always hugely gemused when Nanny ties herself in knots trying to be "fair and impartial" on the one hand, yet on the other trying not to "offend" anyone.

A particularly fine example of the Gordian Knots that she likes to construct for herself, is her decision to ban religious symbols from a "faith" badge designed for chaplains at the London Olympic Games.

For why?

Nanny is worried that the symbols cause offence.

How odd that religions that claim to teach tolerance and forgiveness are always so intolerant of those who have different views/religions.

The London Organising Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games (Locog) had asked its advisory committee of faith representatives to suggest ideas for a lapel pin, which is intended to symbolise the role of religious leaders for London 2012.

However, plans for a design featuring symbols of each of the nine faiths represented on the committee were rejected because not all religious believers would feel "comfortable" wearing symbols of other faiths.

Instead the lapel pin will simply feature the word "faith" and a globe, alongside the Olympics and Paralympics logos.

The badge will be worn by 193 faith chaplains, a Nannyesque title if ever there was one!

Frankly all this fuss and expense could have been avoided, all they need to do is wear the corporate logos of McDonald's and Coke, as it's not God or Locog that we should "thank" for the Games but the corporate sponsors!

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Nanny Bans Racks

2012-05-09T11:48:00.000+01:00

Loyal readers may recall that back in March I wrote the following:

"Nowadays some students seem to take themselves far too seriously, as Madeline Grant (who is reading English lit and languages at St Hilda's Oxford) found to her cost recently.

Miss Grant was standing for election as Oxford Union Librarian, and her election flier stated:

“ I don't hack, I just have a great rack."

She went on to say that she was " committed to helping members pull" after she organised a "sell-out Valentine's social".

Needless to say some Nanny brainwashed students had a major sense of humour failure, and branded the material as "deeply offensive".

Fellow students accused her of "damaging the perception of women" and showing a “distinct lack of judgement”.

Miss Grant's manifesto was therefore censored ."

Unfortunately for Ms Grant, her student Union seems to be run by a right bunch of humourless individuals. Not content with censoring her manifesto, and disregarding the fact that she lost, the Union summoned Ms Grant to appear before a committee recently.

They subjected her to a four-and-a-half hour grilling, then fined her £120.

I have no idea if Ms Grant paid the fine but, quite rightly she has quit the Union.

What ever happened to students having a sense of humour and supporting free speech eh?

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Prat of The Week - Councillor David Dobbie

2012-05-08T10:49:00.000+01:00

My goodness it has been a fair length of time since I have awarded my prestigious, and internationally renowned, Prat of The Week Award.

Therefore without further ado, I bestow it upon West Lindsey District Councillor David Dobbie.

For why?

Just ask the parents of the kids who use the council playing fields in Gainsborough.

For reasons best known to Dobbie, he recently decided to place a wall mural on the walls of the changing rooms that shows wanted Ugandan war criminal Joseph Kony and his child soldiers toting machine guns.

The artwork was commissioned by Dobbie, and the £60 cost paid for out of his councillor's initiative fund.

Dobbie said he intended the art work to raise awareness of Kony's regime as one of the world's most wanted men, and the plight of his child army.

Now that's fair enough. The only problem is the location.

What do the kids who use the fields know of Kony, and what on earth could they possibly do to stop Kony (now that they have been made aware of who he is)?

Political artwork is perfectly acceptable, and indeed can motivate and effectuate change. However, in order for it to have the desired effect it needs to be placed in a location that is appropriate for the message that it is trying to convey.

Placing an "IRA type" image of a gun torturing thug near a kids' play area will not achieve the desired result and, quite possibly, glamorise the concept of wielding a weapon in the minds of the kids.

Town Mayor Harry Clarke was also less than impressed, he noted that the council had not been told about it and has issued instructions for another image to be used instead.

David Dobbie, well deserving Prat of The Week!

Brighton Parking Charges - Nanny Talks Bollocks

2012-05-04T10:37:00.000+01:00

As loyal readers know, Brighton council have caused a wee bit of a furore over their £20 per day car parking charges along Madeira Drive at the seafront.

My thanks to my chum and loyal reader MediaFox who alerted me to this wee piece of nonsense from Brighton Nanny, regarding charging for parking bays.

Seemingly:

"parking schemes aren't introduced to make money.."

ROFLOL!

Methinks Nanny talks bollocks!

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Brighton Council Performs Half A U-turn

2012-05-03T12:42:00.000+01:00

Loyal readers will recall that I recently wrote about Brighton council's daft and greedy idea to charge £20 per day for people parking along Madeira Drive on the seafront here:

"The council as from 1 April are now charging £20 per day (an increase of £16 from the current winter rate of £4 per day) for the privilege of parking in car parking spaces along Madeira Drive.

Brilliant!

That makes Brighton the most expensive place in the UK in which to park!

Ker Farking Ching!

Not only that, but the meters only accept £1 coins (they do not take notes or cards).

In one fell swoop the council have made Brighton seafront the least attractive place in the country to park. "

Following a public drubbing, the council have performed a U-turn, or rather half a U-turn on parking charges.

The council now plan to introduce a new eight-hour tariff costing £15 in the seafront high zone, which includes Madeira Drive.

The £20 all-day charge is still in place.

A new medium tariff zone on Hove seafront from the Peace Statue to east of Fourth Avenue will cost a maximum of £10.

It is clearly a step in the right direction, but not enough. It is clear that public pressure, as with so many of Nanny's other daft ideas, has forced a change of heart and that the Green’s plans are unravelling.

Therefore further pressure should ensure that the council reduce the charges even more.

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Sport Is "Too Competitive"

2012-05-02T11:05:00.001+01:00

I see that a survey, carried out by the Institute of Sport at Loughborough University for the Women's Sport and Fitness Foundation (WSFF), highlighted that 45% of the girls questioned said that sport at school was "too competitive" and that 48% said being sweaty was "not feminine".

This is rather ironic, given that way back in the "bad old days" girls were not encouraged/allowed to play football, rugby etc.

I wonder if anyone has told Roedean that girls don't want to sweat or compete?

Now, in theory, what Nanny should do under these circumstances (in order to encourage more girls to participate in physical exercise) is to try to ensure that schools offer a greater variety of activities that will benefit and appeal to both males and females.

However, because Nanny is skint, Nanny will opt for the easiest worst case option; namely removing the sweat and competitiveness from the current sports available, in order to create a "one size fits all" sports curriculum.

Guaranteed to fail!

Personally speaking I loathed PE and sports of most kinds, and did my best to avoid them. Yet, here I am fit, healthy and not obese!

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LMU Students Fight Back Against Fuckwittery

2012-05-01T12:11:00.002+01:00

On 13th April I wrote the following:

"Congratulations to London Metropolitan University (one of this country's "older" bastions of learning, founded in 2002) for demonstrating some supreme fuckwittery.

Professor Malcolm Gillies, its vice chancellor, has told a conference that the university is considering banning the sale of alcohol from some parts of the campus.

For why?

Seemingly, according to the Prof, a "high percentage" of students consider drinking "immoral".

Really?

Has he actually asked them?

Students find drinking immoral?

Is it compulsory for students to drink?

No, I thought not!

On planet does the Prof live?

Ah, wait a minute, I see.

It seems that 20% of the students are Muslim, and the Prof is using the excuse of "cultural sensitivity" to promote his own personal belief (as stated in his speech) that he " was not a great fan of alcohol on campus".

It seems a pretty lousy tactic to use other people's religious beliefs as an excuse to promote your own prejudices, given that the students attend the university of their own free will and are not forced to drink. "

My compliments to the Muslim students of LMU who are fighting back against this nonsense.

They quite rightly have pointed out that using other people's alleged religious beliefs, as an excuse to ban something, will only stoke up trouble. The students said that the prospective alcohol ban was “ill-advised and misleading”, demonising them and exacerbating “Islamophobia” at the university and in wider society.

As expected, the proposals have created an atmosphere of ill-feeling amongst students.

In an open letter, students have demanded a retraction and an apology for his comments:

“There has never been a demand for an alcohol ban on campus from Muslim or non-Muslim students.

The Muslim population at London Met stands at approximately 20 per cent, so assuming all Muslims at the campus were in favour of the ban, this could not be imposed as it would go against the fundamental principal of democracy.”

They go on to say:

“We find your argument to ban alcohol on religious grounds baseless, divisive and irresponsible and we are concerned about the welfare of the students.

Such an unreasonable proposal which clearly many non-Muslims view as an attack by Muslims against their way of life, is absolutely of no benefit to the Muslim students and the wider Muslim community at all.

In fact it demonises them even more and it will be used as baseless evidence to show how Britain is becoming a ‘shariastate', particularly by far right groups such as the EDL who have already capitalised upon this and added it to their campaign against minority groups."

It is suspected that cultural issues were being used as an excuse to justify a potentially unpopular decision not to renew the bar’s lease.

Unsurprisingly, LMU now appears to be backing down:

"London Met has no plans to implement a ‘blanket ban’ on alcohol across its campuses, rather it is about the very practical realities of a student life that may involve going to class in the morning and needing a place to work later in the day."

The observant will note that the above statement (after the bit about no "blanket ban"), is meaningless nonsense wrt the issue at hand; clearly LMU is very rattled by the furore, and wants to extricate itself from its self imposed mess.

Nanny plays a dangerous game when she tries to use others' alleged beliefs as an excuse for imposing her own prejudices!

Nanny Bans Swans

2012-04-30T10:50:00.002+01:00

Oh dear Nanny does make an utter fool of herself sometimes, as the good people who run The Scream gallery in Mayfair will attest to.

The gallery had been exhibiting a photograph of a naked woman and a swan (a modern depiction of the Greek myth of Leda and the Swan - according to Greek mythology, the god Zeus took the form of a swan to seduce Leda. She later bore his children, Polydeuces and Helen of Troy) for a month, when one day a Metropolitan police officer saw the image from a bus.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, two uniformed officers went to the gallery and told Jag Mehta, the sales director at the gallery, that the photo suggested that the gallery condoned bestiality (which is a criminal offence).

Factoid: swans are highly aggressive creatures, how the hell could anyone get near enough to one to be able to interact with it in any sexual way?

Ironically the exhibition was over and so the gallery took the image down, but the police remained until they saw that it had been taken down.

Miss Mehta did explain to the police that the myth of Leda’s rape by Zeus was an acceptable form of erotica in Victorian times. However, the police replied (according to The Telegraph) that:

“They said they didn’t know anything about the myth.”

Despite telling the gallery to remove the image (which the gallery is still happy to show to people who wish to see it) the Metropolitan Police have said that the incident had not been recorded as a crime.

Ironically, despite ordering the gallery to the picture down, the police have not taken action against the Evening Standard for publishing a picture of it!

I am confused, if it's a crime to show the picture in a gallery why is it not a crime to show the picture in a newspaper and on its website?

Oh and while we are on the subject of swans, why is it that Tchaikovsky's ballet Swan Lake (where a prince falls in love with a princess who had been turned into a swan) allowed to be performed?

Censorship does seem to cause an awful lot of confusion, especially when people have to judge what they define to be "offensive", doesn't it?

The Bells of Wrington

2012-04-27T11:14:00.000+01:00

The sad effect of living in the Nanny state is that some of Nanny's subjects start to behave like her, and try to impose their own petty rules and regulations on others.

Such is the case for the good people of Wrington in Somerset who, thanks to the complaints of a newly arrived couple of residents, have had to turn off the chimes of the clock tower on the 15th century All Saints Church.

It seems that the chimes, that have rung each quarter hour for a hundred years, were not to the tastes of the newcomers who complained to North Somerset Council.

The council duly dispatched an enforcement officer, who declared that is was a "clear statutory noise nuisance". The council then issued an enforcement notice, forbidding the ringing of the chimes between 11pm and 7am. Unfortunately, because the chimes cannot be turned of at night, the chimes must be silenced 24 hours a day and the bells of Wrington no longer ring (there's a pun there folks!).

Call me old fashioned, but if you choose to buy a house next to church that has bells and chimes, then you might well expect them to make a noise as a result of the effluxion (there's a word I should use more often) of time.
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Nanny's Drought

2012-04-26T12:47:00.000+01:00

You remember that a week or so ago that Nanny and the water companies were all telling us that we were officially in a drought, and that the use of hosepipes was banned (except for the Olympics and various football matches etc)?

Well here we are, a couple of weeks forward in time, and Nanny's Environment Agency is now warning householders in many areas that their homes are at risk from flooding due to the recent heavy rain.

In fact Nanny is offering householders in the "at risk" areas free sandbags to build barriers around their properties

The spate of torrential rain has put Britain on course for the wettest April on record, and over 40 flood warnings have been issued.

That'll be global warming then!

Of course the "drought" would be less severe if the water companies (eg Thames Water) fixed their leaking pipe network!

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