tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48032757864899593402024-09-02T03:51:45.307-05:00Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.comBlogger268125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-24442374864417579652013-10-01T10:26:00.002-05:002013-10-01T10:39:48.220-05:00

I couldn't have known that "cancer" would become this year's theme. After Ann's death, I took a break from writing here while life swept me up in it's living: I moved in with my girlfriend over the summer, got  a new Catholic community up and running with friends , and this last month, discovered that I too had cancer. Mysteriously, I was compelled to reach for a book on my bookshelf a

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-837970353280610362013-04-24T18:20:00.002-05:002013-04-24T18:21:42.793-05:00

Today is the anniversary of Chris' death, 17 years ago. The sting of his suicide has lessened a great deal for me, as I have learned to forgive myself for my bitter and angry words directed toward him just hours before his death, but the solace and pain left by this day lingers. Today it came with an added sharpness, as this afternoon I learned that a dear friend and spiritual mother had passed

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-51235951714216219542013-04-11T09:46:00.000-05:002013-04-11T09:46:01.714-05:00

Last night, many LGBTQ parishioners of my parish met with our parish priest, who had extended an invitation to us to meet for casual conversation. After opening with a prayer written by Kittredge Cherry, he let us know that he had wanted to bring us together after the letter that Cardinal George had asked parishes to make available in all churches statewide, condemning gay marriage. While he

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-13658676504308334822013-04-01T11:47:00.000-05:002013-04-01T11:47:03.389-05:00

Whenever you complete a journey, it's good to reflect. My Lenten journey this year was profound for a myriad of reasons. This year, I undertook a major fast, forgoing all meat, dairy and alcohol. I was joined in the fast by my girlfriend, and I don't know that I could have done this alone. While I went in to this for spiritual reasons, I have to admit that I was also hoping for some health

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-24007047933926963602013-03-28T08:58:00.002-05:002013-03-28T08:58:43.252-05:00

I woke up this Holy Thursday in tears, with an overwhelming feeling of betrayal — how fitting right? Is that how Jesus felt when his well-intentioned friends slept away the night while he agonized at his fate ahead? But he knew they couldn't help themselves, they were just....weak. And I know that the people that hurt me don't mean to either...I just can't help but take certain things personally,

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-72263997217902585512013-03-06T14:50:00.004-06:002013-03-06T14:50:51.151-06:00

The past week the spiritual darkness has increased. I have gone into a cave of fear and voices that call on me to isolate myself from people and from God. Instead of resisting it, I'm leaning in to it, which may or may not be the right thing to do. I'm being gentle with my own frailty here, and staying prayerful. I know that everything happens for a reason. This too shall pass... On a lighter

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-17679775366885462992013-02-27T11:50:00.002-06:002013-02-27T11:51:08.717-06:00

Two weeks into Lent, and it's tempting to start complaining. I'm going to blame that on the nasty sinus headache that is plaguing me today. So, this Lent, I decided to go hardcore — giving up all meat (and fish), dairy products, and alcohol. Essentially, I'm eating a Vegan diet, with the exception of honey. I cannot say that I have miraculously dropped 5 or 10 pounds, or resolved mysterious

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-67920031974814534482013-01-28T12:12:00.000-06:002013-01-28T12:12:26.749-06:00

Taking the time to focus in prayer on some of the things that I needed to turn to in the last few months has born much fruit. As I find myself called into deeper and deeper prayer and sacrifice, I also find myself much more spiritually "in tune" and able to hear more clearly when I am called to take a particular action or prayer path. I can see how all of this has brought some positive changes to

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-69271382819618654142012-09-11T19:14:00.001-05:002012-09-11T19:14:49.724-05:00

As I wrote about last month, I've found myself in a bit of spiritual 'time out' of sorts, while I figure some things out. A time of silent contemplation that was greatly needed, especially when having fallen off of the narrow path.As a spiritual pilgrim, I have long believed that there are many roads that lead to truth, and some wander. Along the divergent path, much can be gained, for the wise

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-39391720006856606092012-08-27T10:43:00.001-05:002012-08-27T15:57:25.032-05:00

How do we know who we really are? By what criteria do we define our lives? Are we a collection of our past experiences and our current mindset and our future dreams and goals? And to what degree does that delicate balance determine our fate? If we dwell too much in the past, can it fix our present course on an unchanging road? How much do we let go of, and how much do we hold on to? And to what

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-42508611875576953222012-08-14T10:33:00.002-05:002012-08-14T10:33:54.134-05:00

"The more you fight against something, the more you draw it in." These words sit on my desk as a reminder, and yet I find myself in the struggle, in the fight. But I want to do something....not just sit. Not just wait. Just tell these voices inside the shut the hell up! But I'm not getting any answers now, it's just static on the line. I'm in a spiritual time out, some time alone in the corner to

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-73291348760021642262012-07-26T12:23:00.002-05:002012-07-26T12:23:30.317-05:00

The path that my faith journey has taken has not been a straight one. A cradle-Catholic, I abandoned my church in my early teens and found myself drawn into the path of Wicca, at first attracted the the honest history of Christianity that it presented to me that my own nine years of Catholic school had hidden. The history of the sacraments, the history of the spread of Christianity, the power of

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-82508204390337277772012-06-28T12:15:00.002-05:002012-06-28T14:00:07.328-05:00

I grabbed my journal a couple of days ago and shoved it into my purse. It wasn't begging for me to write something...but to review. And so today I finally re-read the past couple of months of entries and saw again the pain of the last year, and the healing journey. The very last entry I made was my prayer for love to come my way again in the coming year, and my "list" of what I wanted. AHhhhhh,

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-6030227142340380972012-06-26T09:43:00.001-05:002012-06-26T09:45:08.750-05:00

And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet. Matthew 10:14 I was served up a lesson this week that I really needed and it's taken me a couple of days to digest. What I am entering into now with my writing, and also on my own spiritual front, will make me very vulnerable in places that that I need to be more

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-6082437862997928862012-06-21T14:07:00.000-05:002012-06-21T14:07:20.912-05:00

So back in January, I wrote about some creative pursuits that I was looking at. And then I sort of let it go for awhile, because I wasn't sure about how to write about religion, spirituality, faith and where they intersect with politics for the audience I was hoping to reach — the LGBT community. Was I even really qualified? Doubt had set in. But in the last couple of weeks, I took the leap of

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-79814122541386907762012-06-18T11:06:00.002-05:002012-06-18T11:06:36.510-05:00

Still can't shake the bad dream I woke up from last night...but I'm hoping more coffee will chase it away. Ah, just when you think you're feeling emotionally strong, throw in some PMS and whammy, you can lose your bearings again. Yes, lets blame PMS. Or the sad movie I watched yesterday: Requiem for a Dream. Intense on many levels and struck a nerve. I've known too many additcts, lost friends,

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-75956570647094314152012-06-07T11:31:00.002-05:002012-06-07T11:31:22.532-05:00

I'm getting a sense of the path that is opening up in front of me. It's still sort of unclear, but I know that I'm being called into a deeper spirituality, a deeper communion, and to let go of things that hold me back — even things that I think I've already dealt with but are lingering. This has been the year of letting go, of battling demons. I'm getting the sense that that there is some big

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-81142969606341867122012-06-04T12:51:00.002-05:002012-06-04T12:51:55.111-05:00

Getting to know each other, I mentioned my love of cheese. "I could give up meat before I could give up cheese," I proclaimed.  "So, you love cheeses." The Soldiergirl wants to know what my relationship with Jesus is. I thought, surely the explicit answer lies within the pages of this blog, five years of spiritual exploration. Surely my relationship with Jesus is evident here. But maybe

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-21474295917283554132012-06-04T09:45:00.000-05:002012-06-04T09:45:02.333-05:00

So, I went to church on Sunday with the Soldiergirl. Evangelical church! Of course I had my preconceived notions about what that might look like, but I did my best to lay it all down and walk through the door with an open heart. Right away I felt a welcoming presence, both in the place itself and in the warm welcome I received from probably a dozen or more congregants. The place literally oozed

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-60859085716716170832012-06-01T12:34:00.002-05:002012-06-01T12:34:35.119-05:00

So the Soldiergirl looked across the table as I sipped my beer and ate my sandwich and asked me if I'd jump out of a plane with her. Panic. My heart raced. She began to talk about the free fall and I could feel my pulse escalating. I confessed that it was my biggest fear — but also one I had hoped to confront at some point before I die. So, would I jump out of a freaking plane???? GULP.  I

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-51753885569900644382012-05-30T09:52:00.002-05:002012-05-30T09:52:59.617-05:00

I had such a great day yesterday. Really got to do a lot of thinking about my own emotions and what might be holding me back. My main concern is staying grounded while giving myself permission to also fall in love, if things should go that way. Staying true to myself while getting to know another person -- without taking on too much of the other person's interests or activities and unknowingly

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-35748682481384369432012-05-29T10:14:00.001-05:002012-05-29T10:14:32.570-05:00

It's all done...the Soldier did the thing that she needed to do to move forward with me...and as it turns out, that thing entailed a conversation with the Nurse. I hesitate to use the expression "bros before hos" because of where that leaves me in that scenario, but there is it. So, a conversation that I honestly want to know nothing about took place, and it apparently went well, and I no longer

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-46499235465650232202012-05-28T08:20:00.001-05:002012-05-28T08:20:48.791-05:00

What a weekend this has been. Yet I feel like even in this safe space, I must restrain myself from writing too much about it, at this time. I can say without hesitation, I am falling for someone special. (Still trying to think of the perfect codename.) But it seems that there are certain ducks that must be aligned before everything can be right. We wouldn't be lesbians if there weren't some sort

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-15729846087197285292012-05-25T12:15:00.002-05:002012-05-25T12:15:18.942-05:00

So I had this intense moment of inspiration about my next tattoo. I really want a fleur de lis! I've got a whole story about this...I'm not sure I can put it all down in words yet, as it still seems to be emerging, but needless to say, the fleur de lis and I seem to have been on a journey for over two decades now and it's developed a lot of meaning for me. I'm going to keep mulling it over and

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803275786489959340.post-18996963596265762172012-05-24T10:14:00.002-05:002012-05-24T10:14:37.463-05:00

Hot weather has arrived in Chicago, which means making the switch to iced coffee, summer dresses and sleeveless tops. Inevitably someone will notice my Anima Sola tattoo, which has been hibernating under winter sweaters for far too long, and remark on it's loveliness or ask me when I got it — always surprised that they hadn't noticed it until now; after all, I've had her for five years now. But

Anima Solahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017377491103220973noreply@blogger.com0