fluctuating certainty

2009-11-02T11:38:00.004-06:00

Isn't it funny how some things just jump out and grab you randomly? How you are struck by words you've heard a thousand times?

"No use pretending
You never existed until you saw the light
yeah
You're just beginning
You haven't missed it-it's all ahead of you
And you know what to do
You gotta talk to the One who made you
Talk to the One who understands
Talk to the One who gave you
All the light in your eyes
All the light in your eyes"

Worth a Read...

2009-10-21T20:56:00.002-05:00

Interesting link that was post by Brian McLaren on Facebook:

http://tinyurl.com/yl6vszf

What I think in my head is not always so...

2009-10-20T10:25:00.003-05:00

Don't you hate it when an ugly truth just smacks you in the face?

For years and years and years I have told myself I am not prejudiced. Not me. I talk fair, I believe fair, I believe in equal rights and opportunity. I believe that all were created by God and all are loved the same. We all have the same worth.

So, when I realized the other day that I was choosing white over black I was shocked!
And I started thinking. Given a choice I choose a white clerk over a black one, a white friend over a black one, a white anything over a black one. Not pretty.

And I started wondering why. Not to excuse, but to understand. I had a teacher in college that taught that prejudice is caused by lack of communication. I would agree, but I would also say it is cause by lack of understanding. I just don't understand the culture; the way of thinking, the things that are important in their lives. It's not for lack of trying - it just is. I have no problem sitting and talking to an African American. I have no problem being fair and kind and helpful. I just don't choose to watch a show about an African American family, or read a book about an African American family, or go to a movie about an African American family - I just don't get it. I don't understand the humor, the nuances, and the thought process. And so I am uncomfortable and just choose to watch or read something else. Again - not pretty.

Growing up I was raised in an all white town. There were no African Americans in my school. I remember when a black girl moved in on our street - I was the first to befriend her and we did a lot around the neighborhood...until I did something to offend Lydia and she dumped me. Over something I just didn't get. She had something to prove, she felt discrimination, and chose to prove it over something trivial.

No African Americans in my church. Or my high school. None. And in college, just a handful. I was friends with them, but it was pretty superficial in hindsight. I wasn't their friend to prove anything. I honestly thought I was unprejudiced. In my brain I was. In my thought process I was. When I talked to others, I was. I raised my children to be unprejudiced. But evidently in my heart of hearts I guess I wasn't.

The other day I was playing some dumb game on face book and you have to add friends. I found myself adding all the white friends and not the African Americans. I didn't even realize I was doing it until it hit me in the face. And then I realized I had seen an ad for a movie that sounded good. But it had an all African American cast. Changed my mind. Kinda like if it had an all male cast and a definite male slant I would also change my mind. Not because I don't like men, but because I don't understand the language, the thought process, the things that make them tick.

So apparently, I am prejudiced - maybe not in the same way that others are. But prejudiced none-the-less and it is still ugly. I'm not fooling myself. So, the question is: now that I realize it, how do I fix it? It's obviously deeply seated. So deeply seated that I was unaware that it was even there....

If you don't have anything good to say....

2009-10-16T09:54:00.005-05:00

...say nothing at all.

Well, I tried that - and you can see the results. No blog posts.

You know how we all have one of those days? Well, I've pretty much had one of those summers. And it has extended into autumn. Sadly.

It's not all been bad - there have been incredibly bright spots, like our trip to Boston in June, our trip to Austin and Taos in July, Andrew and Carissa's visit in August, our Via Christus get together when Mike and Julie were up from Austin, and Aaron's visit and the U2 concert at Soldier Field.

Other than that - dreary weather. Cool summer. Garden did miserably. It rained - a lot. The outside hose reel connector/hose broke flooding an already saturated yard and basement. Extra people living in our house (including a one year old and a three year old from Friday through Sunday). One adult is a very extroverted extrovert that needs to talk incessantly. Carissa left for Italy for a semester.

Complete chaos has entered my life! No room. No solitude. No where to go to get away. No where to think. Noise. All the time. My safe haven became, and still is to a degree, a stressful place.

I have felt sad, angry, frustrated, stressed, taken advantage of, not heard, and used. I feel like I am living in a soap opera. Really. One where resolution NEVER comes. We have resolved some issues - but a few remain that are awkward and sensitive. sigh.

On top of that mess, as if that weren't enough (and I have just posted bare bones) school started, I got sick in September - acute bronchitis with a severe asthma attack resulting in an entire week of work missed - and I've had issues with a tooth. And our loan for Carissa's junior year got messed up and still isn't paid. Oh - and Comcast messed with us for almost 2 weeks - resulting in HOURS spent on the phone and with techs. Four of them on four different days.

And on top of all that, the sun still refuses to shine!

See - nothing good to say.

Great post after months of silence, huh?

Hopefully things will improve.... We are going to visit Carissa in Italy in November. We are going to Florida for Christmas. The loan got straightened out. As did the cable issue. I am about 80% well. The tooth - well, still being worked on. Still working on the safe haven. And finding quiet and solitude. But it too will come. Along with the sun.

I hope.

Doing, not Writing.....

2009-09-01T08:50:00.009-05:00

How is it possible I haven't blogged since JUNE? I guess I have just been busy doing things rather than blogging about them. Or maybe Facebook corrupted my soul! Soundbites and updates are so easy there! Hopefully this fall/winter I can get back into something here. Of course that would mean I have to be able to come up with something worth reading. And that would mean I would have to have a fully engaged, functioning brain that was being stimulated by events and say-it-ain't so moments. sigh.
Anyway.
To tide you over - because I'm sure you don't really want to hear about my summer in teeny tiny boring details, I'll post a few of my favorite pix. :)

Better than being yellow bellied!

2009-06-09T11:59:00.008-05:00

Our woodpecker is back! I decided to take a picture of him - well to the best of my ability from inside the house, because as soon as I opened the back door he flew away! I thought he was a red-headed woodpecker, but he is really a red-bellied woodpecker. Two different woodpeckers!

apparently he's a thief....

Yes - this is the guy that wakes my up early in the morning pecking on my house. sigh. So pretty, so annoying!

Here is a summary from the Audubon Society:

Red-bellied Woodpecker (Melanerpes carolinus )

Bird Gallery Index

© Alan Murphy

Family: (Picidae) Woodpeckers

Preferred Habitat: Moist woodlands and wooded suburbs.

Seasonal Occurrence: Common in all seasons.

Notes: Red-bellied Woodpeckers may be found wherever mature trees are to be found. Their loud churrrr is a familiar sound in our suburbs. Beginning birders are often confused by its name, since the red patch on its lower abdomen is difficult to see. Others confuse it with the Ladder-backed Woodpecker which is not found in our area. The female resembles the male but has less red on the top of her head. Red-bellies eat acorns, insects, and fruit, and are also known to store food. They willingly come to feeders for sunflower seed or suet. Red-bellies like to mark their territory by noisy drums on trees and are not at all reluctant to use house siding. They rely on tall soft trees such as pines to excavate their nest cavities. Starlings, which often take over their cavities, are a major problem. The Houston Bird Survey has more information and a distribution map.
- Susan Billetdeaux

Twiddly Twiddly Dee - Rockin' Robins!

2009-05-20T08:54:00.007-05:00

Wow - I haven't blogged for over a month. I never thought I'd see the day! I just haven't felt like I've had anything to say. Of any substance anyway. Life has been very routine and not very noteworthy.

I don't wanna give the blog up tho, so I guess I'd better get reading, and doing things to give me some fodder for a post or two.....

12 more days of school. 12. Thank goodness. I'm at the end of my rope sitting in this hot computer lab day in and day out. Summer holds travel plans, fun times with friends and hopefully hammock and a book time. And it can't come soon enough for me.

If nothing else, hopefully I can put up some pix or something. Oooooh I know! To hold you over I will share my Robin family. (can you tell I am really scraping the bottom of the barrel here?)

Enjoy!

a new home

Mrs. Robin sitting on her eggs.

the babies have arrived!

Protecting her babies

the babies are hungry!

feeding time!

siblings

just hanging out

mom! mom!

snuggling

move over!

Yesterday, the nest was empty..... I missed the moment they flew for the first time. Hopefully they will have what it needs to survive! I will miss them.

Everything Should Taste Like Bacon......

2009-04-13T13:11:00.003-05:00

I think I need to get me some.... ;)

Easter.....

2009-04-13T10:58:00.006-05:00

Easter was kinda hard this year. Actually, Easter is my favorite holiday, but this year is was just sad. Our good friends in Haiti lost their sweet dog, Sejan, this week. That was really, really sad. He was the most loving dog and you always hate to see a dog suffer....I feel terrible for Steve and Joline. Then on Saturday afternoon a friend of ours from Via Christus (which is now scattered to the winds) was killed in a plane crash.

When something like this happens you just want to gather and grieve with family and friends. And with our Via Christus family all over the United States it was that much more terrible. We will miss Randy - but you know, he went out in a blaze of glory, doing what he loved.

Easter services were hard. All cheerful and celebratory. Oddly it seemed like a well meaning "friend" letting platitudes and rote Christian phrases roll of their tongue. Really. I just wanted to sit and mourn. And think. Not be roused from my remembering with well meaning, but poorly thought out advice and clichés. sigh.

Anyway, if you think of it please pray for Randy's family - his wife and two grown sons especially.
I'm thankful for the time I had with Randy. I will miss him.

I miss my church.

Enneagram Personality Test

2009-04-09T14:50:00.000-05:00

Image Icon results:

Main Type	Overall Self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Scale (|||||||%) results:

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Type 2	Helpfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Type 3	Image Focus	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Type 4	Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Type 5	Detachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Type 6	Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Type 7	Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Type 9	Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%

Your main type is 4
Your variant is self pres

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Validation

2009-03-26T08:41:00.000-05:00

This is great......

St. Patrick's Breastplate

2009-03-17T10:29:00.001-05:00

I bind unto myself today
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same
The Three in One and One in Three.

I bind this today to me forever
By power of faith, Christ's incarnation;
His baptism in Jordan river,
His death on Cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb,
His riding up the heavenly way,
His coming at the day of doom
I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of cherubim;
The sweet 'Well done' in judgment hour,
The service of the seraphim,
Confessors' faith, Apostles' word,
The Patriarchs' prayers, the prophets' scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord
And purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the star lit heaven,
The glorious sun's life giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind's tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea
Around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, His shield to ward;
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours,
Against their fierce hostility
I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan's spells and whiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart's idolatry,
Against the wizard's evil craft,
Against the death wound and the burning,
The choking wave, the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.
By Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

Amen

Carissa's art!

2009-03-10T18:07:00.003-05:00

click to enlarge.

she explains it here.

Tyler Lyle gets it right......

2009-03-09T16:50:00.006-05:00

Jen brought this song along with her when she came back from Texas. It's a great song! Check out the words - and you can find the song here at itunes if you would like to own it!!

jesus loves lesbians
and terrorists
and pat robertson
jesus loves soccer moms
and immigrants
and hillary clinton

and if you don't love them too
then the love of God is not in you

jesus loves the homeless man
and he loves the fire and brimstone preachers that will never understand
jesus loves the liar, the cynic, the doubter, the hypocrite
and jesus loves me too

and if you don't love them too
then the love of God is not in you

jesus loves lesbians
and athiests
and republicans
jesus loves everyone
even southern baptists
even jesse jackson

and if you don't love them too
then the love of God is not in you

2009-03-06T09:15:00.002-06:00

"It would be nice and fairly nearly true to say that 'from that time forth Eustace was a different boy.' To be strictly accurate, he began to be a different boy. He had relapses. There were still many days when he could be very tiresome. But most of those I shall not notice. The cure had begun."

C.S.Lewis

Oh My! Oing Oing Oing!

2009-03-06T08:46:00.002-06:00

Fat Little Friar Tuck Bar Tender Angels???
Possessed by JOY?
Give Johnny His....
Absolutely wacked, sloshed slippity slapped!
bilocate, levitate - TWO JOHNNY's!!
get wacked, stay wacked, never go back! The secret of success!!

2009-03-04T09:24:00.001-06:00

Magnificent!

I was born
I was born to sing for you
I didn’t have a choice but to lift you up
And sing whatever song you wanted me to
I give you back my voice
From the womb my first cry, it was a joyful noise…

U2

2009-03-03T16:55:00.004-06:00

Where I came from there were no hills at all
The land was flat, the highways straight and wide
My brother and I would drive for hours
Like years instead of days
Our faces as pale as the dirty snow

Once I knew there was a love divine
Then came a time I thought it knew me not
Who can forgive forgiveness where forgiveness is not
Only the lamb as white as snow

And the water, it was icy
As it washed over me
And the moon shone above me

Now this dry ground it bears no fruit at all
Only poppies laugh under the crescent moon
The road refuses strangers
The land the seeds we sow
Where might we find the lamb as white as snow

As boys we would go hunting in the woods
To sleep the night shooting out the stars
Now the wolves are every passing stranger
Every face we cannot know
If only a heart could be as white as snow
If only a heart could be as white as snow

U2

"The vitality of thought is in adventure...

2009-03-03T12:51:00.006-06:00

...Ideas won't keep. Something must be done about them. "
Alfred North Whitehead

Did you ever have that moment when you had an epiphany, or a thought -maybe you saw something you had read a hundred times before in a new and different way? And you just had to write down before you forgot it? I probably have this problem more than most with my ADD mind. Sometimes in life there are times when there are none of those moments. Moments when synapses stop firing because I am too tired to engage my mind. Or times when I close the door on the thoughts - if I can. The moments I won't read because I know I will start the hamster wheel turning. And there are times, when I haven't given any grist for the mill. I have become routine, ho hum. Just going through the motions, thinking the same old thoughts - nothing new to say. And that totally frustrates me, and I wonder what is wrong with me... So, today, out of the blue, when I was doing my afternoon prayers a thought hit me. Kablooey, right between the eyes. And I didn't have a single thing to write on. For a person like me, that is a disaster. People who know me, know I carry paper with me to catch those fleeting thoughts for further consideration. So I'm scrambling for paper. Digging in my bag furiously, knowing full well I have a notebook in there. Somewhere. Quickly, before the thought leaves my head. Scrabble, scrabble. Throwing things around in my quest. Ha Ha. It felt kinda good. Realizing that the wheels are starting to turn again, rusty and as out of practice as they may be. Stone on stone - ready for something new to grind. Not fodder - that is just given to me. I want to forage and feed the mill. I'm ready for something new.

And today, I had a simple and very striking thought. Huh. In those same old words I've read a hundred times before.

Off I go to ponder.

"I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones."
John Cage

"You don't know what you've got till it's gone..."

2009-03-01T18:57:00.008-06:00

As I was going about getting the stuff done I needed to do this weekend, I realized something. One of my major sources of frustration. I feel like a oddity by trying to be green - or at least greener. That doesn't make me weird! I started thinking about the ways I feel different....especially in the affluent area I live in. A lot of these things in and of themselves aren't even rare - or odd. A lot are even kind of trendy right now. But taken together? Once upon a time I had a group of friends that got this. Life has a way of mixing things up though, and after most of the group moved out of the area I started to feel like a fish out of water.

Yes, I eat sushi. And hummus. And greens. And black beans and rice. So? I listen to folk music, I like chants and Celtic music too. I try to watch the gas I use and carpool when I can. I like to read non-fiction, theology, things that make me think. I try to be as earth friendly as I can in my yard and in my garden. I’m thinking about joining an organic, local food co-op. I try to use green products when I clean my house. I have a front loader washing machine. I don’t run the AC unless it’s over 90 degrees. I keep the thermostat set at 68 during the day in the winter and 58 at night. I use compact fluorescent light bulbs. I buy used books if I can. I have a library card. I recycle. I try to be frugal and healthy in what my family eats – and as conscious of food ethics as I know to be, and as budget will allow. I think if I had kids today I would breast feed and use cloth diapers…. I like Whole Foods and Trader Joes. And small coffee shops and mom and pop stores. I like farmer's markets. I wear things until they wear out. I drive my car until it won’t run. I love my Birkenstocks. I love garage sales and resale shops. I like small organic gatherings, especially in the Christian community. I think we should be the church instead of going to church.

Unfortunately – I don’t have these things in common with many of my friends. I feel like a oddball in a world of excess…. Sadly, even in the Christian community these things are odd and prompt funny looks. At least in the area where I live. I'm tired of the rat race of materialism - just to say we have the latest, greatest, and best. Even at church. I'm tired of being looked at askance because I'm not keeping up with the Joneses. I miss my friends that think this way too. My church that understood this. It’s hard to be different – but this stuff is really a part of me and who I am. It’s part of being responsible and caring for the earth and each other. I’m frustrated that there is no one to talk to about the things that matter to me.

I remember my trip to Haiti last summer. How the people there have nothing. Not even a roof over their heads in a lot of cases. They walk, barefoot, to get clean water. They wear remade clothing. They don't have movies, or cars, or tv or an unlimited variety of food - they often don't even have food. And yet they seem to be able to find happiness in this life.

I live in a country of great excess. I don't understand how people don't get this. How they keep living just the way they always have, oblivious to the plight of the earth and her people. When I run the water in my kitchen now I think of what water means in Haiti. We need to quit abusing our resources and learn to share the abundance that we have. Not only in a literal way, but also by gently caring for the earth and allowing her good to be shared by all as well as preserving resources for future generations.

I am not a tree hugger. I try to be fair in my views of ecology, the environment, and what we as humans truly need. Balanced. I would not sit in a tree to preserve an owl. But I would try to educate people on the plight of the owls.... I will continue to learn about where my clothing comes from, where my chocolate, and coffee come from, and at what price. And I will tell others.

Just stop looking at me like I have two heads.

I miss my friends......

To a man with an empty stomach food is God. ~Gandhi

2009-02-22T19:42:00.005-06:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about being Jesus to others.

Sometimes I think of so many things I could do. But I don't know how to start a single one of them. Maybe I'm making them too complicated. Lately I've been reading about feeding the hungry. Food pantries. I would love to be involved in something like this. But I don't know how. And truth be told I'm a better worker than a leader. But it's intriguing. Food. It is so important in the Bible. It's mentioned over and over and over. At every important event. Breaking bread together. Miracles. Gleaning the fields. Hospitality. Food and Christianity is inextricably connected. Jesus ate with sinners. The early church had communal meals. The last supper. The wedding feast. And in none of these instances was this selective, well except maybe the Last Supper. Feeding the hungry. That is love.

And now I am reading about how food pantries work. I'm reading again how poverty contributes to obesity and heart disease. How the poorest of the poor often have no food other than cheap "fast foods" available in their neighborhoods and don't have the transportation or money to go to where the grocery stores are for food. About the way food is subsidized in this country and how often good, healthy food is plowed back into the ground due to US agricultural policy which allows farmers to hold their product off the market to support price. How school lunch programs tend to provide unhealthy food - cheap and fast to make, like bologna sandwiches and instant mashed potatoes. Fat is cheap,comforting and filling. Vegetables are hard to come by and not as quick or easy to prepare. Salty and sugary foods, the fatty foods, foods filled with high fructose corn syrup are the foods of the poor. Foods that make the belly feel full. Cheaply.

I have been reading how one woman wanted to start a food pantry in her church. What is more fundamental to loving others than to see that they are fed? And so she did her research and came up with a plan. The interesting thing was that this church had just purchased a very expensive altar, hand built of polished hardwood, inscribed in gilt letters with two quotations. The first: "This guy welcomes sinners and eats with them" referring to a quote insulting Jesus in Luke, and the second "Did not our Lord share his table with tax collectors and harlots? So do not distinguish between worthy and unworthy. All must be equal for you to love and serve." A quote from Isaac of Ninevah.
So when she suggested setting up the food bank around this altar to put praxis to belief she was met with reactions such as "When Hell freezes over" and "Over my dead body." Obviously there was polarization over the food pantry. So she asked for written objections so she could formulate responses and discuss them at a meeting. The objections were amazing, ranging from why the lazy people didn't haul their butts down to another pantry already in place, to we can't keep the church picked up and the kitchen clean as it is...and now you're talking about food, garbage, boxes everywhere. Not to mention a hundred people leaving their trash all over! One man finally stood up and yelled "What the fuck would Jesus do?" I feel his frustration.

It amazes me that people feel this way. That there is so much resistence. But I know it would happen here too. The old refrain Not in my backyard. There would be objections to the traffic, the rif-raff, the criminal element, the inconvenience to the comfortable people in the neighborhood. To say nothing of the time commitment and burn-out rate. I may feel deeply that this is a needed service, I would love to participate in such a program. But I am not strong enough to fight these people. I am not brave enough to fight city hall.

All she wanted to do was put food in the cupboard for really poor black mothers who used drugs, buy groceries for everyone living in the projects, and give away food without conditions. Not at a charity kitchen or soup pantry, but in a food pantry that didn't take away people's dignity and reinforce dependency. She wanted to provide groceries enabling families to prepare food in their own homes, keeping families together and giving them a dignified and normal life as they worked to escape poverty.

I wonder why a place like my former church (not Via Christus....) didn't ever do something like this? Even in the suburbs of Chicago there is great need. Now more than ever. And it's no longer just among those in poverty. People are losing jobs at a horrific rate. But for some reason I just can't see them opening their doors and their hearts to do this! They (and many other churches to be fair) would rather buy new carpet, or improve their media capabilities, or raise money to send to the "poor children in Africa" (sending money is a quick and easy way to feel absolved of guilt...) than serve these people that God loves here. I'm sure to suggest such a thing would bring the same kind of responses mentioned above.

But how does one go about starting a service like this without a church to help? By the time you rent a space, buy your food (even if greatly subsidized and augmented by donations) and incur other expenses, it is just not feasible to give food away. And just doing it out of your garage would bring the zoning police down on your heads.

Are there other answers? I don't know. How I would love to have a large piece of land where I could share space,time and labor and create a communal garden, a place to grow healthy food together and share with those in need.....

Thank You, Sara

2009-02-21T11:59:00.001-06:00

"Jeremiah tell me about the fire
That burns up in your bones
I want to know….

I was looking to myself
And I forgot the power of God…
I was dwelling on my hopelessness and doubt…

I was warming my hands by this little light of mine
but now I know it’s time
time to come in from the cold…

With the slightest invitation
You came with total detonation
Now that’s a fire"

.... sara groves

Cobwebs in the attic

2009-02-18T10:33:00.005-06:00

I know I haven't posted much here lately. It's not for the lack of material that I am thinking about. Rather, too much and too messy and too tangled right now. I'm letting it settle and hopefully it will become a coherent post at some point. Some days you just can't get your thoughts on "paper." They just won't sort themselves out. They may flow from my fingertips, but not in any cohesive or even understandable way. Ramblings. More questions than answers. More aggravations than understandings.

Today it is raining. Usually that really bothers me. But today it suits my mood... Contemplative, melancholy, seeking answers; withdrawing into me a bit and rummaging around. I don't always like what I see.....but that is for another day too. Right now I'm just gonna sit. Sit and think about the things I am finding as I push the cobwebs aside, and throw open the windows letting the light stream in. Exposing things scattered about as well as things locked away. Years of neglect can sure provide a lot of fodder for the mind!

I may be here awhile.

2009-02-18T08:09:00.003-06:00

Weekend in New England

2009-02-09T10:25:00.017-06:00

I can't believe we have been to New England and back so quickly! It seems like it took forever to get here, and now it is gone. But we had the best time! We flew in on Thursday evening, late, and it was actually about 1 am when we got to our hotel.

Friday morning we were up bright and early. We had to be over at Gordon College by 9 am to get Carissa's car keys so we could take her car to be serviced. And her Prom/Winter Ball dress so it could be cleaned. And of course we had to figure out our schedule for the day....

Schedule figured out, Kim and I took off in two cars for the Mini dealer. I had the GPS. Kim followed me. All was perfect until the Mini dealer was on the opposite side of the road (divided of course) from where the GPS said it was. So I tried to call Kim so I wouldn't lose him as I went around again to figure it out. Of course he didn't answer. And I couldn't see him in my mirror. So I took the plunge and got off on an exit, and low and behold he appeared and followed! He did well until he got caught at a red light. Bye Bye Kim. After more round and round and trying to call him to no avail, I gave up and went to the mini dealer. Miraculously, he found it too. Why hadn't he answered his phone? It was in my car. D'oh!

Then we went and grabbed breakfast at Denny's. I know. But with our time frame breakfast options were limited. We got back to Gordon just in time for me to go with Carissa to her Art History class. (Fun!) Kim went to financial aid and took care of a few things. After class Carissa checked to see if she had to work, and since she didn't the three of us headed out to lunch. At P.F. Changs. Yum. Their food is good!! :) It was fun just to sit and catch up on Carissa's life and let her catch up on what was going on at home. Then of course, we went shopping. For some reason Kim didn't wanna go to Victoria's Secret....so he went to the Apple Store. Hmmm. Guess it worked better that way! And that North Shore Mall has the most amazing little Tea store with the BEST EVER Jasmine tea. I told Carissa Mother's Day would be here soon.....

Then we had to find a dry cleaners for the dress. Which we accomplished quite handily. And at a very reasonable cost. And we headed back to Gordon. I hung out with Carissa in her room for a while, met a few of her friends, got tickets on line for the play that evening....

KP and Carissa

We headed back to our room for a rest - so she could nap too before the play. We didn't need dinner, we still had leftovers from lunch.

"Saints and Poets"
The cast and crew of Our Town

The play. It was excellent! They performed Our Town by Thornton Wilder. It was amazing. And poignant. And sad. And because we needed cheering up, and never say no to food, and because we wanted to meet Carissa's cool friends, we went to The Cheesecake factory for desert.
And had the best time! We were a big group to say the least. The Key Lime Cheesecake was to die for. You practically had to roll me back to my hotel room. Which, again was late. 1:00 am. It's hard to hang out with energetic college kids when you get to be this old!

Sam and Carissa

Andrew, Carissa, Christina and Sam

Carissa and Christina goofing around

Carissa's roommate Kaitlyn (on left)

Saturday we just drove and explored new places - we try to find new things each time we are there. We ended up back in Gloucester at Passports for lunch. In the afternoon we just kinda hung out in the hotel room (read Kim took a nap...) We were completely unoriginal for dinner - but quite happy at Chipotle. I have to say though, the Chipotle food is pretty bland in Boston compared to Chipotle food here! LOL.

We did go back to the play again - there were two shows that day, but we went to the evening one. It was even better than the night before if that is possible. Of course it was closing night. Sad. We got to meet more of Carissa's friends. I love Carissa's friends! :) All in all it was an early night - only 12:30 when we got back to the hotel ;)

And on Sunday we had the most fun of all. We took Carissa and Andrew out to lunch. Seafood. Yum. And had a wonderful time. It was great to finally meet Andrew, and watch how the two of them interact. Of course we headed back to the dorm to see a few more friends, take the obligatory pictures and say goodbye. Carissa had to work at 2:30. But that's ok - we didn't want to wear out our welcome!

After taking a scenic drive around the cape to Rockport and taking a few more pictures we headed to the airport and home. I am quite exhausted. I'm not meant for late nights any more unless I can sleep til 11:00. :)

All in all we had a lovely weekend. Enjoy the pictures!