DATING MADE EASY

How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

2011-04-12T15:37:00.000-07:00

Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. Here's how to turn that ex-boyfriend into your significant other once again!

Consider why it is you broke up in the first place. Do you just want him back just because you feel that you can't have him? Or maybe you just like the idea of having a boyfriend? Or you really do like him? Were one (or both) of you abusive, controlling, mean, or possessive? Did one (or both) cheat? If any of these things happened, you'll want to think long and hard about going back to that kind of relationship.
Be the person he fell in love with. He was attracted to you because he felt good with you, and you were fulfilling his emotional needs. How have you changed? Correct bad habits and mistakes, if any. Be positive around him. Laugh and smile. Always stay positive to feel good about yourself and make friends around you.
The first thing that you say to your ex boyfriend is extremely important. If you say the wrong words, you will lose the chance to get your ex boyfriend back. Do not respond to your ex request for a breakup by crying and begging him to come back. This will not work. You are just going to make him feel more irritated and drive him further away. You need to understand that even though he initiates the breakup, there is a good chance that he still harbors good feelings for you.
Use the past to your advantage. If he's ever complimented your outfit, wear it again. Or, share a light-hearted memory with him. If you have a chance to meet him, do it at a familiar place you used to hang out together.
Listen carefully to his choice of words. If he ever uses an unusual or uncommon word, casually slip it into the conversation again. This subconsciously tells him that he and you are similar due to exclusive and similar ways of talking.
Casually ask if he'd like to do something non-committal, like have a drink with friends, play miniature golf, play tennis, etc. Something friends and first dates alike can do. And whatever it is, keep it fun. Skip out on the serious talks for now. You'll have plenty of time to talk about that later. That's very threatening to a lot of guys. If he initiates it, follow his lead. But don't go heavy.
Let him know you were thinking about him. Remember that one time you two went to dinner at that great new restaurant and had a fabulous time? Leave him a short email telling him you ate there recently and thought of him. And, by the way, how is he doing? This is a non-threatening way to have a light conversation, and also, a small request for a reply back.
Invite him to talk to you. Express regret things weren't working out between you and ask if you can talk about it now that you have some perspective. Ask if what went wrong was related to what you've been working on. Your ex may have a different perspective!
Pay a little attention to your appearance if you have been neglecting yourself in that department.
If you just broke up (less than a couple weeks) completely ignore him. He will call you if he likes you. If he doesn't then nothing you say or wear will change that. (This works unless you are dealing with a guy that thinks that if you aren't coming after him, you don't care. Sometimes, ignoring him makes him feel like you are perfectly fine without him and are moving on, which is the exact opposite of what you want when you are trying to get back with your man. Be sure you know exactly what type of guy you are dealing with when trying to get him back.)
Remember, no situation is hopeless. Every day, couples get back together regardless of the situation.
Agree with the break-up . The most important thing you can do is agree with the break-up because as long as you're fighting against his decision you won't be able to work towards getting him back. What you resist, persists!
Find other things to focus on. If you focus your attention on a new activity, you will have less time to miss your ex boyfriend. You feel stronger and more in control of your life. And if you are still in contact, your ex boyfriend will notice that you have "moved on". This will make you more desirable to him.

TIPS
Think of all the things you did together and asked him if they would like to do it again. think why you broke up? if he wanted to kiss you but you said no the first time you got together and you said know that's why you broke up then when he seems most relaxed go to him and kiss them or when you are alone and your talking about what you did together, start moving closer to him/her and kiss them. Don't allow yourself to be jealous if you just found out that he just went out with someone else after you. he just might be trying to make you jealous so you could make a move and it gives you another chance with him. Remember, jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love.
On the contrary, making your ex jealous could work in your favor. Don't go overboard though and don't make it seem like you are trying to make them jealous. Even if they act aloof, don't worry, jealousy is very powerful and can make people do all sorts of irrational things.
Make the right opening move. You must agree with your ex first that the both of you have broken up. Do not resort to any violence or anger.
If he broke up with you for another boy/girl, then talk to him about it. Try asking him something like, "Do we still like each other? Will we ever be together again?"
After break up, if your ex asks to go out with you again but just as friends, go for it.
Just concentrate on the ways to get a good feeling of yourself and try to keep your spirits up. Try to mingle with friends outside and have lots of fun with them. This will definitely take you one step forward in your move to win your ex back.
Be yourself. Do not act like someone else in order to be liked - it never works in the long run.
Don't hit on his/hers best friend. It hurts your ex's feelings, but some people use it as revenge.
Be subtle before you try anything obvious, you need to pick up his signals first. You don't want to look desperate.
Be honest with him and yourself. Let him know you want this to work.
Do not let him know you miss him! It lets him believe he has the upper hand when really neither of you do it should be equal!
Don't ever come on too strong like giving him flirtatious eyes. A smile is fine at first.
But remember don't let him know you miss him! he will think he has the advantage over you and he will believe that whenever he wants you he will get you like that!
Don't be too pushy but at the same time let him know that you have control.
If he wants you back just give him some time, but not too much! If it is meant to be it will be!
If and when you and your ex decide to meet up, remember your appearance is important! Be the woman he fell for in the beginning. You don't want him to think you have let yourself go since the breakup.
Do not call or text him all the time. This gives him the impression that you seem desperate. If you don't contact him, this will let him know that you're moving on and he needs to win you over if he wants you back. Remember if he wants to talk, he will call you.
When you and your ex are having a conversation bring up past times that the two of you enjoyed. Let him know you haven't forgotten about the good times. This could work in your favor.
Avoid flirting with his friends, it will push him away even more.
Have a schedule. Men like women who have an agenda, it shows that they have other important things going on.
Do not put pressure on him, tell him you love him from time to time. Tell him to take all the time he needs to answer. If he says no, go with the flow and move on, don't cry for the rest of your life, that just means that you two weren't meant to be.
Always remember to have a positive posture. Your slouchy body language wont get you any where! Make sure you always have a smile on your face and feel good about yourself. Boys dont like girls that think bad talk about themselves.

WARNINGS
Never beg over and over again. It will make him love you less than he already does.
- Don't get your hopes up too high on this. There is a chance that he will not take you back.
On-and-off dating can be heart-breaking and even abusive.
Never forget the reason you broke up in the first place.
Never let a man take advantage of you.
Never take a man back if he broke up with you for another girl. Unless you still want him back and you know it was a mistake. Otherwise, he already had his chance with you.
If he tries to cheat on his current girlfriend with you, turn away. If he's cheating on her now, he will cheat on you if you stay together. Just be friends and call it a day. Just be super nice and say no.
If you think he will hit you some day then he will, run and never turn back.
Don't go after your ex if he's married, it will only cause more hurt on your side.
If your friends tell you that he was abusive even if you don't think so, believe them and do not take him back no matter what!
If he seems to only want a physical connection and not a relationship, then leave him alone, because he is only looking for someone who is familiar to him.
If you start winning him back, make sure you examine what went wrong the first time around and work on that problem or you will end up back to square one.
First, you always have to remember why you two broke up. And you also have to remember to not take advantage of him.
Don't become too obsessive. That'll push him away.

Know when to let go. It can be the difference between getting the person back or having them walk away forever.

talk to you soon...

What Annoys Women, AND What Attracts Them

2011-03-30T14:38:00.000-07:00

If you listen to women talk about men, you'll often hear them use the word "ANNOYING" to
describe certain men and certain things that some men DO.

Now, as you can probably guess, it's not usually a good thing when a woman uses this
particular word to describe a guy...

And, as you can ALSO probably guess, when a woman uses this particular word, it's not usually
about guys who she is ATTRACTED to (although this isn't always true).

Now, it's taken me a few years of paying attention to really get a handle on what women are
talking about when they say, "He's annoying" or "It's so annoying when he does that".

And guess what I realized was at the ROOT of women finding a guy or his behavior annoying?

IT'S ALMOST ALWAYS WUSSY BEHAVIOR!

AHHHH!

THINGS THAT ANNOY WOMEN...

Here are some of the things that many women consider to be "annoying":

- Calling her too often

- Telling her that you have "feelings" for her too early

- Giving away your power to her and making her the boss

- Always asking a woman what she wants instead of leading

- Acting submissive and weak

- Accepting her demands, bossy-ness, and manipulative requests

- Being her doormat and putting your own needs aside

"WHAT?" you say.

"HOW COULD THIS BE?"... you might be thinking.

How is it possible that demonstrating your affection for a woman by calling her, telling her
how you feel, letting her make the decisions, and putting her first could be considered ANNOYING, of all things?

Well guess what?

IT IS.

Women, and ESPECIALLY the most ATTRACTIVE and desirable women, usually consider the above things to be VERY annoying.

Of course, the reason for this is because no matter how good these kinds of behaviors seem on
the surface, there's only one conclusion that can be drawn from them:

THE MAN DOING THEM IS A BONAFIDE, 100% CERTIFIABLE WUSSY!

AND WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.

NEVER.

Now, do I really, really, REALLY mean that
women are NEVER, EVER attracted to Wussies?

I mean, isn't that an over- generalization?

Nothing is always true, right?

Well, this one IS.

Actually, what I MEAN is...

As far as generalizations go, this particular one is as close to being true all the time as they get.

And just in case I haven't said this enough, let me say it one more time... just to make sure
it's clear:

WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.

So now you understand why all of the "nice" things that you've done for women seem to always
result in the woman pulling away.

It's because she finds your nice-guy "Wuss" behaviors to be ANNOYING.

AND IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE...

To further confuse things, you'll often hear a woman say something to the effect of...

"I want a STRONG guy who is also SENSITIVE..."

...or...

"He needs to have his own life, his own interests, and his own friends, but also be
totally focused on me..."

I see things like this in women's personal ads all the time. I'm sure you've seen things like this yourself.

Women often talk about wanting a combination of things in a man that just don't seem to fit...

So what's going on here?

Are women crazy? (Yes.)

But seriously, what are they talking about?

How is it that women seem to always talk about wanting men who have these qualities that don't
fit together?

I know that I personally used to hear this stuff and then say to myself "OK, well I've got
the sensitive part covered so I guess I need to start acting a little bit stronger."

I thought that maybe this came down to getting my lazy ass to the gym and working out. You know,
to become "stronger".

No, I'm serious.

Well, here's the BIG REALIZATION that I had...

I've now realized that I had it all wrong.

Instead of thinking to myself that I was a nice, sensitive guy that needed to become a little
stronger, what I really needed was to become a strong guy who could also act sensitive on
occasion.

The difference seems almost like word-play, but it's not. Not at all.

You see, when a woman says that she wants a "strong guy who's also sensitive", that's what she
MEANS.

She wants a guy who's STRONG. The sensitive part is far more "optional" than the STRONG part.

This is why women often date jerks and guys who are emotionally unavailable, and don't date us
"nice guys" who would do anything for them.

Remember, ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.

Women do not sit down and make a list of the qualities that a particular guy has, then think it
over it for a few days, then DECIDE whether or not to FEEL ATTRACTION.

NO WAY.

It happens in an INSTANT, and it happens for all kinds of "illogical" reasons... reasons that
even the woman who is feeling it can't usually describe.

So what's the answer here?

The answer here is to realize that many of the things you do when you're around women that you
feel attracted to, are considered ANNOYING by those women.

You must understand that you sometimes have to do things that SEEM to be "inconsiderate" in order to give a woman what she REALLY wants (which is a man who is in control of himself, the situation, and often her).

Raise your right hand, and repeat after me...

"I will stop being a Wussy around women."

Stop doing things that say "I'm a Wussy", because those are the very things that women find
ANNOYING.

And START doing the things that you're learning
here...

Lean back. Act Cocky & Funny around women. Bust on them and give them a hard time. And LEAD the way, don't follow.

Now, one of the problems that a lot of guys run into is "putting together" different personality
traits that don't seem to go together.

Women say that they want guys who are funny...
but also strong.

Many of the things women SAY they want seem like they CONFLICT with each other.

What's a guy to do?

Well, THE FIRST thing a guy should do is learn what WORKS.

Not what SOUNDS like it might work.

Not what SHOULD work.

And not what is SUPPOSED to work.

LEARN WHAT WORKS.

I personally spent several years trying to figure out what "works". Why did it take me so
long?

Because, as it turns out, I started out with a
HUGE disadvantage.

And I'm not talking about a disadvantage like a big nose (which I have).

I'm talking about a disadvantage like BAD
PROGRAMMING.

I had a "map" in my mind... of how I thought I should behave around women... and it turned out to
be THE WRONG MAP.

The most frustrating part was that when I did the things that SHOULD work, they made women UN-
interested.

It was as if the world wasn't working right.

I would be sweet and nice, and a woman would not want to talk to me.

I would call often and share my feelings with her, and she would fall for the rude jerk who
could care less about treating her well.

Well, as you might already know, sometimes I'm a "glutton for punishment".

Translation: I stuck with it anyway. I kept trying to figure out what works... even though the
things I was doing WEREN'T working.

The magic "breakthrough" came ONLY after I started making friends with and watching guys who
were VERY successful with women... then putting what I knew about psychology and behavior together with the NEW stuff I was learning "in the field".

What I discovered was literally SHOCKING to me.

I can remember slapping myself on the forehead, shaking my noggin, and laughing to myself... as I
watched some of my new friends who were good with women... doing things that just plain SHOULDN'T work... but that DID work.

Here's one of the lessons I learned:

Body Language is more important than WORD language.

In fact, you can have the smoothest "pick up lines" in the world... but if you don't understand
Body Language, the woman you're talking to CAN'T feel ATTRACTION for you.

Here's another one:

Doing "nice" things for a woman doesn't make her any more likely to feel ATTRACTION for you. In
fact, most of these things BACKFIRE... and wind up pushing her AWAY.

Here's a third lesson I learned:

Even though "jerks" and "bad boys" don't treat women well, it doesn't mean that women don't feel
ATTRACTION for them.

In fact, women often report feeling INCREDIBLY attracted to these kinds of men... so powerfully,
in fact, that they can't CONTROL these feelings...

As I was learning these interesting and "counter intuitive" lessons, I also began
documenting the specific things that the guys who were "naturals" with women did... in order to
attract women.

One of my BIGGEST realizations was that literally ANY guy can attract women... if he just
understands how ATTRACTION works.

And any guy can use the secrets that "jerks" and "bad boys" have discovered and used... WITHOUT
being abusive or mean.

In fact, if you LEAVE OUT the meanness or abuse, a woman will be FAR more likely to STAY
around.

And I'll talk to you again in a couple of days...
Your Friend,
George Marshal

...make sure you visit www.datmesy.blogspot.com regularly to get more tips, to becoming more successful with women and dating...