Petals!

There's always a piece of cake in my heart for everyone

2013-06-06T01:41:00.003-07:00

In my life, birthdays are an occasion when I feel life brings happiness all around. My father celebrated my first birthday in Teheran on such a grand scale that guests had enviously asked, "If this is how he celebrates his daughter's first birthday, how grand will her marriage be?"

It wasn't that my father had tons of money to splurge. He didn't. But for Dad, his daughter's birthday was a most special occasion and he left no stone unturned to make it magical. Throughout the years while my sister and I grew up, our birthdays were celebrations that people looked forward to. Each year, the games would be different, the theme would be different and lots of excitement was tucked into the interior decor and the party theme, besides the guest list.

As we grew older, we mellowed down on the celebrations and now, we keep it as a strictly family occasion. Even then, Dad has a special way of making birthdays truly magical.

This year, my in-laws wanted to celebrate my birthday at Kochi's Taj Gateway Hotel. My mother-in-law made my birthday a very beautiful experience. She knew that I had never been there at the Gateway Hotel before. She made arrangements and it was awesome to celebrate my birthday with family there.

Here's the cake cutting pic we took at the Taj Gateway Hotel. My father is standing beside my seven year old son as I am about to cut the yummy cake. A friend on Facebook commented saying that it looks like I am opening a magic box here. Later when I looked at this picture again, I felt that indeed, this moment looks truly magical.

And I wanted to share this beautiful occasion with all of you because of the love, the warmth and the constant encouragement that you continue to extend to me by visiting this blog, reading my posts and giving me feedback. All of this means a lot to me.

Thank you for being there.

Mumbai Police Movie Review: Prithviraj breaks the typical 'hero' mold, challenges sexual stereotyping

2013-05-17T05:32:00.000-07:00

Exploring a completely different dimension in his latest film Mumbai Police, Director Rosshan Anddrews delivers a fast-paced, thriller film after his award winning fims such as Udayananu Tharam, Notebook and others.

To flesh out the script written by Boby Sanjay, Rosshan Anddrews ropes in actors such as Prithviraj, Rahman and Jayasurya to portray three police officers: Antony Moses, Farhan and Aryan respectively.

The story begins with a phone call that Antony Moses (starring Prithviraj) makes to Farhan (starring Rahman) saying that he has solved the murder mystery of Aryan (starring Jayasurya). Just as he says this, there is an accident and Antony Moses loses his memory. From then, Farhan's attempt is to take Antony through people and places that are likely to trigger his memory so that they can solve the murder of their close friend and colleague Aryan. A series of events happen, almost hurtling us towards it.

And I am taking the liberty to hand out trophies for the following:

'Mumbai Police' - Brilliant background score by Gopi Sundar

Background score by Gopi Sundar delivers some path breaking moments. There is a fast paced run-chase scene where he majorly uses the notes of a veena alongwith other unlikely accompaniments. It is the kind of score that sends goosebumps on your skin the way it whips up the frenzied mood of the chase with a most beautiful, calming sound to your agitated nerves. Throughout this film, the background score impresses, breaks out of typical filmy molds and succeeds to grab your attention for what it is - a rarity that deserves to be acknowledged.

'Mumbai Police' - Plays up the Navy vs Police Conflict very well

In this film, the conflict between the Navy personnel and the Kochi cops is played up well. I studied in the Indian Navy's school at Naval Base in Wellingdon Island, Kochi. The conflict between the Navy personnel and the Kochi cops was always apparent. There was an unspoken agreement that if you mess with the Navy personnel or their families, cops would get hit back by the Navy personnel badly. I am not sure but there was a story that is supposedly true (but there is no evidence or report to indicate that is true) was that a girl who was from Naval Base was physically harassed by Kochi cops and the Navy personnel retaliated in a most brutal way. The buzz that many of us have heard was that the entire police station was ransacked, cops were beaten up and the specific cop was burned alive. No case was ever registered and from that incident, there has been a silent agreement between the Navy and the Cops that Navy territory cannot be interfered with at any cost even if they break the laws. As I said, all of these were Chinese whispers. No concrete evidence but the tensions were always apparent right there on the surface.

'Mumbai Police' - Prithviraj's most outstanding performance

In Malayam 'new generation' films, a kind of sexual stereotyping is taking place. While the sexual traits of protagonists may interest the readers, many new generation Malayalam films treat 'sex' as the core of their film's substance. This film underplays it in the subtlest way to deliver a shocking blow to the audience towards the end. While I can confirm that a majority of young and old Malayalis are becoming liberal, this bold attempt to break sexual stereotyping of the male protagonist is not likely to be accepted. Trophy goes to Prithviraj who has probably taken the biggest risk in his career by portraying such a role. However, for the first time ever, I felt that Prithviraj as an actor, was totally uncomfortable in the last scenes that show his sexual encounters with his partner. Given the nature of the role, it is inevitable but still unexpected from an accomplished actor such as Prithvi.

Mumbai Police: Tough to connect these dots

1. Misleading title: Mumbai Police is a title that has no significance to the actual sequence of events in this film.

2. Dialogues lacked meaty substance. There’s not a single dialogue except maybe one or two that I can think of that is memorable at the end of the film.

3. Pace of the movie is a baffling. At times the movie is too fast. Then it turns very slow. Again it catapults you back into a fast pace. None of this goes easy on the clueless viewer and does not heighten the suspense or the entertainment quotient of this thriller film.

4. Lack of balance in characterizations. For instance, the roles played by Aparna and Shweta are so woefully short and they are fine actors. It is a mistake to rope in such fine actors and not use them to their full potential. At the same time, it is appreciable supporting actors like Kunchan got ample opportunity to showcase acting talent through some emotional situations.

Among the three roles, I found Rahman’s most striking. He makes his presence felt and he portrays the role in an outstanding way despite the ridiculous dialogues that are given to him. An actor of his stature deserves better. While Jayasurya gets to play a very critical role throughout the film, somehow I, as an avid movie watcher, did not feel any connect. He was simply himself playing a role. I did not feel that he became the character that he was representing. A poor show from Jayasurya, who is an emerging fine actor with several outstanding performances in movies such as Cocktail and Beautiful.

My Verdict: Go watch this movie. It's going to shake you up, that's for sure. But look at the brighter side: you get to see some outstanding performances.

(Personal Confession: Rosshan Anddrews and I are from the same place - Palluruthy. In fact, we studied in the same school but we have never interacted at a personal level. My father told me that Rosshan Anddrews had inquired about me recently to a cousin of mine who's a friend of his. Secretly, I have to admit being flattered that such a fine film director asked for me! :)

Another tiny tidbit is this: When Rosshan Anddrews had directed his first film Udayananu Tharam, I loved that film and wrote a detailed review of it on Petals! that was going out to a select group of my friends as a newsletter. From the official site of Mohan Lal that was run by his fans, I had sent a copy to Mohan Lal and got a reply from Lalettan’s personal email id after two weeks. He wrote in saying that he had read my review, thanked me for it and told me to correspond directly via his personal mail id anytime. Whoa, that was unforgettable! Still a cynical side of me did wonder whether it was all PR generated. But then I thought - it's more important to look at the positive response than at anything else. That’s also when I decided to take Petals! more seriously and change it into a blog rather than a newsletter.)

Unlock your Child's Leadership Potental

2013-05-04T09:33:00.000-07:00

Today, I stumbled on to one of Adi's closely guarded secrets. It turns out that Adi is the founder of Adi's Team in his class!

Maybe this is no big deal. Sounds a little silly.

But these are the milestones that I want to celebrate as a mother. That my son has formed a team, identified and trusted a select group of very special friends conveys to me more about his potential than any school report or record.

When I probed further, I discovered that Adi has even rolled out specific designations and functions for each friend. He gets them to obey his directions. Each day, he allots them a priority to get done.

How does he know what needs to get done? Well, he's more organized than I am. He actually keeps the list and designations on a sheet of paper that he shares only with his dad. Poor Mom (read ME) is kept in the dark.

But finally Adi showed me the list. Guess what? My heart did a flip! I spotted one girl's name out of all the boys he's listed. Ahem, and her designation is: Master of the Team! And Adi's the Creator. I am now seriously worried about what functions follow next!

Looking at the brighter side of life, I am happy that my son is already practicing inclusion of diversity in his all-male team and giving the lady an upper hand in terms of designation as well.

There's amazing leadership potential in every child. Let's help our children to unlock it.

Top 10 Skincare tips for Summer

2013-04-22T08:55:00.001-07:00

Come summer, and we women worry a lot about how the sun lashes out on our skin. True, skincare tips for the summer are plenty but what about the hushed secrets - yes, those tried and tested family secrets that are passed on from mother to daughters?

Here are some that are totally easy to do. Best of all, these are effective and bring on a feel-good factor in the peak of summer.

1. Whenever you want to splash water on your face, replace with rosewater. It keeps your skin luminous and fragrant throughout the day. It's a good toner too.

2. You can cleanse your skin by combining these ingredients - honey, milk, rosewater/rosepetals and turmeric. Add a dash of olive oil and yes, it is wonderful.

3. Almond oil body baths is a must-have! You will smell delicious all day. This summer, skip all those body lotions & moisturizers! You will love the way almond oil pampers your skin all day!

4. Use a mixture of almond oil and olive oil for your feet. Your feet will sparkle and look as good as though you have stepped out of a beauty salon.

5. Every time I visit Kerala, I come back to Delhi with a tan that stays on for weeks. So, here's what my buddies in Delhi recommended and it sure worked wonders: A dash of milk, mashed tomatoes and a dash of turmeric does wonders to clear your summer tan.

6. Coconut milk is a fantastic cleanser and moisturizer for your skin. Try this once in a while when you want to indulge yourself and feel pampered too!

7. Potato juice as well as lemon juice are recommended by experts for those who want to bleach their skin naturally. Try and see how this feels on your skin. I am yet to give this a try but I have heard and read that it's good and it works.

8. When you want to opt for a natural scrub, use milk, a dash of olive oil, honey and sugar crystals to scrub your skin. Make sure you don't scrub or tug your skin too hard because it sugar crystals can tear/bruise your skin if you are not careful. But for a feel-good, natural scrub without any chemicals, this one should do the trick easily and effectively.

9. Raw milk and turmeric face mask: Need I say more? You will look and feel the glow on your skin.

10. No matter how busy you are, make sure you load up your plate with lots of seasonal summer fruits such as watermelons, mangoes, musk melons, green grapes and so on. Have this fruit platter before breakfast every morning. This does wonders for your skin, your metabolic rate and your overall body fitness. It boosts your system altogether and you will feel the difference in energy levels throughout the day.

And here's a last secret tip: Drink lots and lots of tender coconut water. It's the best recipe for a glowing, luminous feel-good skin!

5 Ways to make reading more fun for kids: Connect them to inspirational game changers!

2013-04-19T08:23:00.001-07:00

Reading is considered 'boring' by many children. Growing up around books is the best way to make your child feel comfortable and confident in the world of books.My biggest worry was that my son would feel the same way and I always ensured right from the time that he was two years old that I took him to the British Library. Here's one of Adi's earliest favorite books that he learned to read: Samira's Awful Lunch.

So, what's the next step?

Connecting your child to game changers! Yes, that's probably the best thing you can do to take your child to the next level! Lets see how to do this step by step. Ready?

Enrol your kid in a good reading club
When I first enrolled my son Jyotiraditya for a Reading Club, I had no idea that he would enjoy it so much or that I would get useful 'expert' advice on how to take Adi's reading skills to the next level.

At the British Council, I had interacted with several teachers who conduct workshops for kids and I loved the way they seemed to interact and understand the kids without being judgemental about them.

Encourage reading discussion and interaction with other kids
For Adi, the reading workshop turned out to be great fun because it enabled him to interact with a bunch of young avid readers older than himself and he also got to learn more on how to be a good reader through his teacher who came from the UK to teach them. He also got literary exposure to what kids of his age are reading in the UK.

Ask for constructive feedback from facilitator

At the end of the Reading club workshop, the teacher from UK gave me very personalized feedback and to-do list for Jyotiraditya. Here is how it reads:

1. Jyotiraditya has an exceptional interest in reading.

What to do: Get him more books on different, interesting subjects and make him read it. If there is a topic that bores him, skip it and let him read what interests him. The idea is to get him to read about more things that he can store in his mind as information.

2. Jyotiraditya is the only child in the Reading Club who reads without getting stuck nor does he use his finger to lean to direct the sequence of words that he is reading. This conveys that he is a very fast reader - a trait that will help him tremendously in future.

What to do: Get him books that have advanced levels and difficult words. Work with him to make those words sound like fun. Make funny sounds together so that he enjoys associating different words with sounds. This will also help him to enjoy learning difficult words and recalling them easily.

3. When Jyotiraditya finds a difficult word, he relies on phonetics to help him get the sound of the word correctly.

What to do: Get him to write and play with difficult words and their sounds more often.

Understand the feedback, play up your kid's key strengths
From all the useful feedback that I received this one takes the cake: Many children of this age are very sensitive when they are corrected in front of their peers by a teacher.

The most remarkable quality about Jyotiraditya is that he is not afraid to make mistakes. If he makes a mistake and the teacher corrects him, he takes it in his stride in a positive way and moves ahead to learn what is next. This trait conveys that Jyotiraditya is a happy and confident child and this rare strength in his personality will help him to tackle challenging situations as he grows up and becomes a man one day.

As a mother, this feedback meant so much to me. Do you know why?

Because when he was a baby, Adi was a very frightened, shy, hesitant and lonely child! He feared people and hid from them. During his toddler years, he would hide behind me even when he saw family friends or family members. But he had fantastic, very patient teachers who saw his strengths and helped him to leverage them.

Be Grateful to the Inspirational Game-changers in your kid's life
I particularly want to thank all his remarkably patient pre-school teachers at the Little Millenium School, Vaishali for nurturing him like a sapling and for helping him to blossom the way he has.

Another important mention is the nursery teacher Narinder Kaur at Indus Valley Public school who constantly encouraged Adi to read, write and to do stage performances representing their school in different forums. She understood his fears so well and worked on it relentlessly.

In fact, at one point, she made him start the day in school by going to other classes and narrating a short story. When he ended the story, she would ask the entire class to give him a standing ovation. This gave Adi a lot of confidence to speak in public and in front of strangers.

When we introduce our kids to the world of books, we throw open to them the doors of the Universe - we let them discover, dream and soar beyond all boundaries.

Won't you make reading more fun for the children in your life? What books did you love reading as a child?

If you liked this post, do drop a line. I'd love to hear from you!

Five ways to take charge of your anger

2013-04-03T20:41:00.001-07:00

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems -- not people; to focus your energies on answers -- not excuses.” ― William Arthur Ward

I hear this a lot from youngsters around me: It's fine to rant, vent and lose one's temper. It's fashionable to be scornful and rude to everyone. It's great to vent. What's the big deal about getting angry? After all, if you cannot express what pisses you off, how can you call yourself human?

Here's what I think: Anger is a projection of your own mind. It stems from layered fears and the need to dominate and differentiate yourself from others whose actions or reactions you want to control. It destroys you first before it goes out and delivers blows to others around you. That is why spiritual seekers work constantly towards conquering anger and fear. The two are so deeply inter related. You have to conquer both and not just one of the two.

Yet, from my experience, I can tell you one secret from the spiritual world: when spiritual seekers and masters lose their temper, there is no way to end it easily. The person they are angry with suffers considerably but they themselves lose all the merits of their sadhana with just one bout of anger. They have to start from ground zero and it isn't an easy climb at all.

Anger doesn't make you human. Compassion does

If anger solved all the problems in the world, this world would have been a perfect place centuries ago. There is so much anger that is responsible for many dark, inhuman and violent acts that happen around us. When we sit back and analyze where this anger stems from, the root cause of it, you will feel amazed by the insights that it can bring us about what lies within us - dark, hidden and mysterious.

Anger is self-destructive, don't find out the hard way!

Those who know me personally would tell you that I almost never lose my temper. A former Boss in the book publishing industry used to introduce me as "Serene Buddha" to prospective authors. Reason? No matter what tantrums authors throw, I would keep cool, turn around a hostile situation and leave them smiling by the end of our discussion. That's always been the story of my life and my interactions with others.

There are very very few occasions in my life when I have completely lost my temper. And on those few occasions, the anger ended up being very self-destructive than anything else. I once walked out of a job because I became so irrevocably angry about something that I saw as a blatant violation of what I strongly believe in. I sat at home for six months, without a paycheck, wondering whether it had been a mistake to give in to my anger, rare as that may be. But I also know myself better. I could not possibly stick onto a job just for just the paycheck, not if it violates the core values that I hold on to. So, was my anger justified at the time? I would like to think so from a spiritual perspective. But when you look at the practical side of being jobless without proper planning, it doesn't look too inviting, does it?

But do you get my point on anger being self-destructive?

One who cannot conquer anger is one who is controlled by a false sense of identification with the Physical Self. When anger takes hold of you, fight it as you would fight for your life. Don't let the mind master your actions. Be the mastermind. Take charge of your anger.

Angry? Try this!

On the occasions when I do lose my cool, here are somethings that work for me to keep it in my control:

1. Practice absolute silence. Stay away as far and as long as possible from whatever ignited the anger till the mind is calm, still and able to reflect on the core issue more objectively. When the mind is still, when the thoughts are in your control, there is no scope for anger to rule you.

2. Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale so slowly that you can feel the breath enter and leave your body like a beautiful breeze. Do this for as long as you can and focus on the breath. Thoughts will slowly cease, your mind will become a shining, empty vessel and you may even wonder what made you angry in the first place.

3. Take a walk. Walk, run, skip but do any constructive physical activity that makes you thrash out your anger without hurting anyone.

4. Listen to soothing music.

5. Sip a glass of cool water, very very slowly. Concentrate on how it cools your heart, throat and frayed nerves. You will find yourself relaxing, the coolness ebbing away the heat of your anger.

I want to know your thoughts on anger. Have you noticed how you behave when you get angry and how do you tackle it in the aftermath?

I'd love to hear from you.

Ending this post on anger with a quote from Bree Despain, The Dark Divine:

“Remember Grace, if you let anger into your heart, it will push out your ability to love.”

A Humble Tribute to Malayalam Cinema's Sukumari

2013-03-28T02:08:00.001-07:00

Like Malayalis across the world, I too was deeply shattered by the passing away of Sukumari, one of Kerala's most versatile actresses. She breathed her last at a Chennai hospital two days ago. As an actress, Sukumari had the kind of passion and dynamic presence besides brilliant acting skills that made people enjoy all her performances spanning over five decades.

Her performances were so natural and memorable that she added considerable substance and depth to the story line itself. She had the audacity to make every one of her characters, including the bland and bad ones, stand out as striking and memorable. Her dialogue delivery, her sense of humor and flawless timing struck a chord with Malayalis spanning all ages and walks of life.

About Sukumari

A bit of info about this fine actress: Sukumari was born in 1940 in Nagercoil. She made her debut into the world of Malayalam cinema as a child artist at the age of ten.

She was the first cousin of the legendary Travancore sisters - Padmini, Ragini and Lalitha. She was well versed in dancing but she swung to different realms within the cine field.

Across the years, she strengthened her position in the Malayalam film industry as one of the most versatile supporting actresses donning various roles as comedienne, mother and so on. She acted in more than 2,500 films and her name is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for the number of films she acted in. In 2003, she was conferred Padmashree. There isn't a single movie that I can remember feeling disappointed by her portrayal of a character.

About Sukumari's Personality

In the film fraternity, the love and respect for Sukumari is tremendous. Her friendship with Tamil Nadu CM Jayalalithaa, for instance, is well known. News reports continue to mention how Jayalalitha paid a visit to Sukumari in the hospital some days ago and how they shared a deep friendship that went beyond the realm of movies. Reports from the media also mention that Jayalalitha told the doctors to take good care of her because she was a "precious" person. Indeed, she was 'precious' for Malayalis across the world. She made us cry, smile and laugh like no onelse did especially from among the actresses.

Super stars, actors and actresses cutting across several genres, established directors and ardent fans say she was exceptional in the film industry because of her passion for acting and her compassionate nature towards all. Though she had shared screen space with big stars from the South such as MGR, Sivaji Ganeshan, Gemini Ganeshan, among others, she remained simple in her ways and accessible to all - super stars and budding stars. She is reported to arrive at film sets with an armful of snacks for everyone, offering and sometimes serving food to those on the sets. She is known for her sense of equality - having never discriminated between stars, technicians and so on. While her proximity to super stars was well known, she was accessible to all and behaved with utmost love and generosity to everyone. She saw every one as her own children without any discrimination - a rare quality today, particularly among popular actors and actresses.

Sukumari's Memorable Movies

Personally I love all the roles that Sukumari portrayed in Balachandran Menon's and Priyadarshan's movies best. These roles were versatile, vivid and enabled this brilliant artist to showcase her acting skills to movie buffs.

One of the Malayalam movies that deeply touched me and had me crying several times was Sthreedhanam (meaning: Dowry). While the key actors were Jagdish and Urvashi, the role of Sukumari as the helpless mother of daughters who had to be married off without much dowry was brilliantly portrayed. Her mannerisms, body language, simplicity, quiet pride - all of this beautifully and painfully brought to life the dilemma and agony of a mother of daughters.

Some of the must-watch movies starring Sukumari in versatile supportive roles are:

1. Anuragakodathi (Comedy)

2. Poochakkoru Mookkuthi (Comedy)

3. Boeing Boeing (Comedy)

4. Panchavadipalam (Comedy)

5. Vandanam (Comedy)

6. April 18 (Family Drama)

7. Chiriyo Chiri (Comedy)

8. Aye Auto (Family Drama)

9. Kaaryam Nissaram (Family Drama)

10. Sanmanasulavarku Samadhanam (Family Drama)

11. Njanguludey Kochu Doctor (Family Drama)

12. Prashnam Gurutharam (Family Drama)

13. Manicheppu Thurannappol (Family Drama)

14. Akaashaganga (Horror)

15. Thenmavin Kombathu (Family Drama)

16. Achuvintey Amma (Family Drama)

There are many many movies that I have missed listing here, not because they are less memorable but because I am unable to recall all her fine movies at one go. These are the ones that remain evergreen in my heart.

Farewell & a Lesson to Learn

It is difficult to believe that this veteran actress has passed away into another world. We all pray that may her soul rest in peace and may we all learn something from the rich legacy she left behind in life - of looking beyond social statuses and of valuing all relationships without expecting anything in return.

Happy 7th Birthday to the Sun of My Heart

2013-03-14T02:00:00.002-07:00

I have to confess this to you but you have probably guessed it anyway...okay, let me just take a deep breath before I say this.....

Motherhood & Parenting Blues

I am not a natural, hands -on mom. Okay, I've said it and I feel better already. But I guess you already guessed that ages ago. Get ready for more. I am not done yet.

I almost never wanted to become a mother in the first place. Not because I am a feminist or that I feared I would put on weight (which happened anyway) but because I feared that I wouldn't be able to love my baby like other moms naturally do. Even while growing up with girls, all they could talk about even in Std 4 was about getting married and having babies. That sounded disgusting to me. I believed then that I had greater things to do, or so I told myself. And the books I constantly read threw open a more expansive view of the world. As I grew older, the prospect of motherhood didnt evoke any interest in me. What's the big deal - is how I saw it.

Later as I grew more mature in my perspectives, I saw that many children felt unloved and unwanted by their own parents. And I didn't want to be a total failure at the most important thing - loving one's own kid.

Loving your Baby: Can it be complex like rocket science?

So, throughout my pregnancy, I went on reading stuff on how to love your baby kind of books. Those books made my fears worse because it sounded as though loving your baby is rocket science. But when the doctor placed newborn, wailing, pink-as-candy Jyotiraditya against my cheek just after he was born and doc said to me, " Say hello to your rosy cheeked prince," an ocean of love swelled up inside my heart.

I was filled with so much joy and within my heart, there were powerful waves of love reaching a crescendo and I knew then that loving one's baby is every woman's instinct.

And I knew with certainty that I have not felt that kind of love for anyone in my entire life. Honestly, it was like jumping down a cliff, heart plunging and it didn't even matter whether one had wings to land safely. All that mattered was that pure moment of absolute bliss shared between my baby and me. No one in this world could possibly have felt what I felt when I held my newborn baby in my arms. It was as though I had been reborn again. And yes, it was a new birth for the two of us.

But lets come back to reality. Bump! Did you feel that? Or was it just me?

Anyway, none of this gushing about Adi makes parenting easy for me. I constantly see moms who are so super good at parenting, constantly tracking their child's growth, mapping out their child's career to a perfect T even before they start crawling, 'fixing' admissions with top schools years ahead, tracking every activity and measuring outcomes in a bullish 'my kid should be the best' way.

SORRY. I couldn't be a mom like that. I would rather shoot myself in the knee than become a mom like that. It conflicts with everything that I believe in as a spiritual seeker.

And no, I don't believe in spoon feeding my child, watching his every step like a hawk - no thank you. I haven't been brought up like that by my parents and I won't do it with my son. It is my choice. If that makes me a careless, irresponsible mom, fine.

But wait, I am not saying that I am right.

How Time Flies When Kids are Growing Up

After all, Jyotiraditya and I have our "issues." We also have many one-on-one conversations. Yup. It's a real conversation where I don't accuse, blame or scream at him. But I tell him how, what and why something is not acceptable to me. We discuss it and when it turns out that he isn't getting my point, I will tell him firmly that it is the new rule and he can discuss it with me next week after we have worked on it together. This usually works. To win my point, I usually help him understand how it benefits him personally to do what I am asking him to. I don't offer bribes or incentives of any sort to make him accept what I am saying but I reason it out with him.

Like most Indian parents, Sanand and I have worked doubly hard in this parenting journey. Through raising Jyotiraditya, we have learned a lot as parents and from each other's strengths in tackling different situations relating to Adi. By doing so, yes, we have learned a lot about each other as well. Perhaps that is why most Indian families want newly wed couples to have kids fast - because the experience of parenting deepens and strengthens the relationship between a man and wife and takes it to a completely deeper, powerful level.

As I gear up for my son's 7th birthday, I can see the changes that the past years have triggered. Jyotiraditya is growing taller now. From a shy, introvert child who had seemed to be frightened by the world and with the absence of parents who seemed to work 24X7, he's come a long, long way. He learned to choose his own clothes at the age of two and indicated clearly what he would eat and what he would not. He had never had to be toilet trained. He learned that on his own when he was one and a half years old. He became a regular visitor to the British Council at the age of two, poring over the pages of colorful children's books, asking me to read them out in a baby language that he could understand easily. And when he used to have nightmares in the night, my mother taught him the Gayatri mantra, the Sai Gayatri mantra and the Devi mantra to ward off his fear. He also learned the first four verses of the Hanuman Chalisa - all this at the age of two. Whatever he does, he does it with a passion that makes others follow him whether it is playing cricket, football or whatever.

He regularly does mantra chanting, meditation and loves to read and listen to stories before he falls asleep. He loves to read until he tumbles to sleep. He listens to me carefully, corrects my Hindi, tells me off if he isn't happy with something that I am wearing or eating as though we are best buddies. He points out to me if there are double dhamaka deals in the store where we buy our daily provisions from. I love all of that.

Parenting Journey

Sanand and I are in this parenting journey together in a way that no one else can be - everyone else can just watch and maybe offer suggestions from the periphery but the two most important stakeholders in a child's life (besides the child) are the parents. We know our son better than we have understood ourselves or even each other. We may not look at parenting the same, or treat issues in the same way all the time. I would not let my son out of my sight even for a moment whereas Sanand would give him 'independent moving space' and I'd probably die worrying about whether Adi would get lost!

But it is in these differences in parenting that we, as parents, also grow, mature and learn to find new spaces in our life together. After all, all those years ago when we first fell in love and decided to spend the rest of our life together, we had expressed to each other that we wouldn't be 'natural' at parenthood but I am glad that we were blessed with Adi because with him and through him, the two of us have come a long, long way from that point when we began our life together.

While I do believe that we are the least trained husband and wife to take on this role of parenting, it is our son Jyotiraditya, who makes our life perfect by being there in our life just the way he is. If God asks me whether I want to change anything in Adi, I would say, "NO, thank you" because I love him as he is - with all his strengths and quirks.

Grandfather's Words of Wisdom for Jyotiraditya

I want to end this post with the words that my father said to me about Adi recently

"The sky is the limit for Adi, my grandson. He can choose to build his destiny to great heights and I am sure that he will. All my life, right from my childhood, I wanted to be a doctor so that I could serve people who are in need. Perhaps age has made me slightly wiser and selfish, but I want my grandson Adi to be a STAR, to become some one who leads, not serves, someone who inspires others to serve a great cause that empowers them to lead better and happier lives. I am growing old but my dreams for my grandson are vibrant and full of grandeur. I may not always be there to see what Adi becomes but wherever I am I know that I will watch over him with all my love and he'll make me proud just as he makes his parents proud with everything he has accomplished. I always took pride in the accomplishments of my daughters. But with my grandchildren, the feeling of pride has more than trebled. I pray to God for their happiness and well being always."

Happy 7th Birthday, Adi - the Sun of my Heart!

Traveling List for Women: Is Your List the Same as mine?

2013-02-20T07:03:00.001-08:00

People say that it's much easier for a man to travel lightly than a woman. This reminds me of a good piece of advice from Susan Heller who said, "When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money." But first, a trip down memory lane.

Travel: From Iran to Africa at the age of Six Months

I've been traveling from the time I was just six months old. Obviously, I don't remember packing then but my mother does with vivid details. She says we were whisked off to Teheran when i was barely 6 months old and that she found it heartbreaking to be so far away from her mother and her family because those were the days you couldn't make phone calls so easily from continents away to mother or brothers. So there, my mom was stranded with tiny me for company in a sweet little cottage near the Caspian sea in Iran.

If you google "caspian sea," you will get tons of interesting information on how this sea is surrounded by several contries such as southern Russia, Turkemenistan, Northern Iran and so on.

Coming back to my traveling list for women, I learned from my mother to be able to travel lightly, totally fuss-free and at anytime to anyplace. After all, from Iran we headed to Africa in the most bizarre circumstances.

But this doesn't mean that I travel light the way my husband does. He travels really light. But I am not too bad at it either.

And now let me take you through what is in a lady's 'light' travel bag. Most women carry handbags and they don't like anyone even their husbands or boyfriends looking into their handbag space.

Here's what my handbag has when I travel:

Press ID Card
Baby wipes/hand sanitizer
Bottle of water, some mints, chips or biscuits.
Purse (with very little cash - as is usually the situation with me)
Two sets of books - one for me and one for my son Adi
Camera with battery charger
Pen, notepad, cell phone and iPod.
Comb
Burberry.

In a small pouch that is packed with the girly essentials such as face scrub, toothpaste, toothbrush, sunscreen, daily wear moisturizer, stuff like that.

In my travel suitcase, you'd find at least two pairs of jeans, shirts or kurthas that go with it, one traditional outfit and then my laptop. I have a couple of nice stoles that go with all of this. If you are traveling in India, a stole is your savior of sorts. Opt for ones that are super light. I usually pack two pairs of footwear so that if something goes haywire, I have my backup. A medicine kit is something I always carry with me though there are so many medical shops you can buy medicines from while traveling in India.

Tips for Women traveling in India

Don't pay attention to what hard core feminists tell you, that you can walk naked down the street and no man should do anything to you. Sorry girls, that's utopian because if you try something like that in India, you alone will have to bear with the consequences of it. There is no legal, moral or social support system that will help you in case you are in danger. So, be careful while traveling in India.

The key thumb rule to stay safe while traveling in India is: Dress in a way that you don't attract unwanted attention to yourself especially if you are traveling alone. This isn't a safe country for women and the earlier one realizes that one's safety is of paramount importance to one self, the better. Be wary for strangers who are over friendly, or when they ask you too many personal details, just be alert for your own sake. Always keep a pepper spray handy. Try to keep contact numbers of friends who may be from the city in case of any unforeseen emergency.

Some of my globe trotting friends from Kerala tell me that whenever they travel alone or have to stay even in five star hotels by themselves, they first check their rooms for hidden cameras to be doubly sure. They also recommend that it is best to switch off the lights in the room in case of changing clothes and stuff and switch it back after you are dressed and ready. Perhaps this is a case of extreme caution but I'd rather see that you are over-cautious than careless about your own safety. This is about your safety, okay? But ultimately, you take the call on what works for you. That's the way to be.

Coming back to packing lightly, it simply means our everyone in the family can pitch in to carry their respective little bags easily. And the best part is that you can shop without worries from wherever you are visiting.

By the way, I tend to collect unusual local things from places that I visit. For instance, I always like to buy the local sweet speciality or food speciality. I also collect key chains from all the places that I visit. These key chains would have some special local characteristic that catches my fancy.

In Haridwar, I spotted key chains with the deities Ganeshji, Manasa Devi and Chandi Devi. I bought ten of those key chains, I kept three for myself and gifted the rest to my closest friends. It depends on what I like and what I see.

But I have a confession to make. Every time I visit Kerala, these rules go for a toss. I come back with tons of stuff besides calories and calories of course. Loving gifts come from all sides and I just can't say "no" so I bring it all back to Delhi - the home made masalas, pickle jars, sweet banana chips, mysore pa and so on.

Enjoy you travel. Remember, as Bill Bryson said, "To my mind, the greatest reward and luxury of travel is to be able to experience everyday things as if for the first time, to be in a position in which almost nothing is so familiar it is taken for granted."

Divine Plan: Do you believe in it?

2013-02-14T19:50:00.002-08:00

To believe in the Divine Plan is the toughest thing to do but it is the best expression of trust that you can offer to the Lord.

Are you ready to believe in the Divine Plan?

Wallaby: What happens when your little boy wants to hold one

2013-02-12T06:35:00.000-08:00

Look at the delight here as my darling nephew Vihaan is totally captivated on seeing a wallaby. He is reaching out and wants to hold the wallaby.

By the way, I didn't even know what a wallaby is till I saw this picture and googled it to know more.

Well, you can find Wallabies across many parts of Australia. Known as marsupials, wallabies look like small kangaroos. They have small front legs, strong back legs, long feet and they can hop on their back legs. They turn active during the night and rest during the day. When they move, it looks like they are bouncing.

Sounds like fun, isn't it? I just love this snap as I could sense Vihaan's excitement and curiosity even as my cautious sister is trying to not let him go too close. So, I wanted to share it with you.

The Secret Wishlist by Preeti Shenoy

2013-02-05T20:22:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been banished from your parents' good books because of a secret kiss when you were just sixteen?

Did you spend nearly all your life trying to win back the trust and approval of your parents for that one mistake you made?

Have you regretted your marriage that your parents rushed you into and you agreed out of sheer guilt?

Have you ever made a secret wishlist with something like "have sex with someone other than husband" on it?

Yes or no, don't miss reading Preeti Shenoy's recently released novel titled 'The Secret Wishlist.'

From page one, you are bound to get pulled into Diksha's loveless marriage, her constant adjustments to Sandeep, a husband who expects everything to be done to suit his preference at all times and her need to feel valued as a person. There are so many instances when you would simply grit your teeth and wish that her boor of a husband would do something, anything, to just appreciate his wife. But no, that doesn't happen.

While reading this, I thought of another book that I had read titled 'The One and a Half Wife' by Meghna Pant about an Indian girl whose parents arranged her marriage to a rich and handsome NRI but he is constantly judging her and finding fault with her than appreciating her and yes, they end up divorcing.

The protagonist Diksha in 'The Secret Wishlist' goes through and how she finds her character becoming more defined and sharpened when she makes the choices for her own happiness. I was also reminded of 'Custody' by Manju Kapurwhen Diksha meets Abhay her old school crush and they begin to meet secretly. (Correction from a reader called @Anonymous: It is not Abhay, it is Ankit whom Diksha meets secret....) A big thanks to Anonymous for pointing this out.

I liked the character of Vibha who helps Diksha to put together a wishlist. But the same Vibha distances herself from Diksha when she finds out about her leaving her husband for Ankit, her old school crush. Hard, tough questions are bound to come up in a society that is conservative about other people's choices, particularly that of married women. But once Diksha makes up her mind, she steels herself to face what lies ahead, even the reproach and anger of her parents and brother.

There are some aspects of the story where as a reader, I wished to know more about.

For instance, while Diksha and her husband are obviously locked in a loveless marriage, it would have been good to know his side of the story too. I wanted to know more on how Diksha's husband perceives her or what is his back story for the way he behaves to her, something on those lines.

Just as a coin has two sides, every character has a good and bad side. Diksha does try to communicate with her husband but I felt that she gives up too easily on him. Or is that she fears to confront him? Ultimately, the marriage breakdown is also because the couple did not communicate to each other clearly enough.

Abhay's feelings about his mother's relationship with Ankit is another aspect of the story that would have been interesting to know about in greater detail.

Secretly, I had liked the character of Gaurav, the salsa teacher, so much that I had hoped that Gaurav and Diksha would fall in love with each other and make a life together. They seemed to have 'chemistry' sizzling right from the time they meet. So it feels slightly like an anti-climax that it is Ankit who boomerangs back into Diksha's life again and somehow Ankit's character at the beginning wasn't one that you'd feel impressed with as a reader but then there is the issue of age - he was probably playing his age at the time. Gaurav, on the other hand, seemed to be perfect hero material for Diksha.

In fact, when I finished reading the book, I recalled the words of Norman Rush who said, "It is a rare reader who doesn't go to a novel looking for a kind of encouragement to live."

So true. In her writing, Preeti Shenoy deftly grasps a reader's need to be encouraged to live, to love and to be of significant value in the lives of loved ones.

Penguin India's Live chat session with Shobha De

2013-01-27T08:02:00.002-08:00

A month ago, Penguin India grabbed the attention of many Indian readers by conducting a live chat with its famous, best selling author Shobha De. I have observed similar 'livechat' sessions conducted by Penguin India on Facebook. But I've got to say no one does it like Shobha De. She isn't the typical author in any sense. She won't try to be diplomatic to keep her fans happy. She gives as she gets without mincing words. No hypocrisy, what you get is honesty. These days, with more and more writers marketing themselves on social media as paragons of patience, this originality came as a whiff of fresh air. Her responses are not of a diplomatic author who is playing to the gallery and wanting to promote a book or a brand. I loved the way she got into responding to so many queries with her typical saucy, original thoughts.

For instance, a guy wrote " i dont know why but i hav never been attracted by your books,plz plz tell me why should i read your books?

Shobha De responds instantly, " you know that line? Don't knock it till you have tried it???"

I loved that. Shobha De has spunk and she demonstrates it without a care in the world! That's why readers love and hate her with such passion.

I have to admit that I asked her question that I have always wondered about while reading Shobha De's books.

I asked her in the live chat session "Do you create a structure around your novel by mapping out the outline, plot and characters or do you simply dive into the story that is within you and let it flow naturally without any planning?"

This was her response "Swapna.... a structure is essential to start with. But I generally re-re-re-structure as the book takes shape. "

On writing, Shobha De says, "... writing is like a heartbeat to me. I love it! I live to write. I hope to die with a pen in my hand and countless ideas in my head."

When asked about her favorite book, she said this: "My favourite book is War and Peace. I can dive into it anytime..."

Jyotiraditya: My Mother is wrong, I am not an only child

2013-01-24T18:29:00.000-08:00

Recently we were visiting the home of an eminent retired High Court judge from Kerala about whom I have written in this post. So the lovely wife of the retired HC judge was talking to Adi and making tea when she mentioned that it must be very lonely for Adi to be the only child and I mentioned that he has a very solid network of friends in the society building where we live.

The moment I said that, Adi jumps up and says to her, almost angrily, "My mother is wrong. I am not an only child. I have two brothers and two sisters - the only thing is they aren't staying with us but they are my brothers and sisters. I am not an only child."

I told her very softly that Adi is referring to his cousins and she smiled at me lovingly.

Seeing the passion and conviction with which Adi was saying this, she gently and lovingly said to him, "What a lucky boy you are to have two brothers and two sisters."

The way Adi looks and values his relationships is exactly how I did at his age, so long ago. I love that about him too. May his conviction, belief and love grow stronger and positive across the years so that he learns to trust in his intuition always in all relationships.

Six Year Old Jyotiraditya impresses a retired High Court Judge

2013-01-18T07:33:00.001-08:00

It was a day that started just like any other day, though for six year old Jyotiraditya it was declared a holiday because of the cold. Still, it was a rush filled morning, punctuated by a hurried breakfast and tapping to music played by the radio jockey amidst many ad jingles.

Sanand dropped me off at my office and he went to his office with Adi.

The usual practice when Adi has holidays is that he spends time in his father's office, does a bit of studies, plays games online and on the PSP and does coloring or drawing on sheets. Basically, he gets a free run.

This particular day, a retired High Court judge visited Sanand's new office and that is where he met six year old Jyotiraditya. You can imagine how funny that must have seemed to the eminent judge. He must have wondered what a six year old is doing at a law firm. But for the six year old, he was wondering what this person is doing in his father's office. So, this mutual 'admiration' committee struck up a conversation and they actually got along like a house on fire!

The gist is that the judge was very impressed after speaking with the little brat. He told my husband so and invited him to come home esp with Adi. This was a sure first!

Then a week later, he personally called up my father-in-law whom he knows very well and mentioned, "I met your grandson. Adi is such a smart boy."

Well, I was really happy that Adi conducted himself well without any 'prepping' from either of his parents.

Maybe we should let him become a lawyer instead of Spiderman. Jyotiraditya has decided to be the next Spiderman in real life - don't say I didn't warn you about it.

Ganga Darshan and Ganga aarti

2013-01-15T05:12:00.001-08:00

Happy 2013, dear friends! For me, the year began with Ganga darshan and aarti.

My six year old son Jyotiraditya began to play in the shallow end of the ice cold Ganga. Then he closed his eyes and began to chant the Mritunjaya mantra with total concentration. It was a priceless moment for me as a mother. He did the chanting with absolute conviction and passion.

Some foreigners who were humming along with the aarti suddenly pointed towards Adi in exclamation. They began to admire him in soft exclamations and started to click his snapshots. That moment of electric energy was broken instantly. That is one thing I want to share – in places of worship and where prayers are chanted, it is important to avoid taking snapshots. It instantly cuts and interferes with the electric energy of positive powerful vibrations that are a result of mantra-chanting.

For me, as I stood before the Ganga aarti, the incredible power, the force and the energy of Mother Ganga filled my senses like intoxication. It was as though time had frozen and stress, worry and even a sense of separate identity ceased to dissolve. It felt as though I no longer existed - but seemed to be one with the divine energy around me.

All that pervaded my consciousness was a need to experience the beauty, the shakti and the sattva shuddhi of this beautiful Goddess that flows all around, cradled by the most beautiful mountains. What in life can be more beautiful than reaching this original point of creation at its most magnificent, powerful peak?

As you stand before the Ganga, you realize that nothing can be as beautiful as this moment of awareness and oneness with divinity. Thoughts dissolved into nothingness. In fact, thoughts ceased altogether, bringing existence itself to a standstill. Isn’t that the culmination of what all spiritual seekers aspire and long for? To be free from thoughts and desires not merely for moments but for this whole lifetime?

Standing there, I felt humbled by the glory, the power and the beauty of Ganga Maa. And let’s not forget, she flows down to the earth from the heavens. That is the greatest and most important point of a woman’s strength – purity of purpose, patience of being and humility towards all – these traits are divine and have remained consistent for centuries. We call all of this as decadent and patriarchal now of course. That works for some, but values - it springs from the heart whereas showing an attitude is the finest example of ego kicking in and becoming stronger and more powerful than the heart.

Thank you Ganga Maa. So much to learn, so little time.

But I promised. I will try.

Bye bye 2012: Looking back with Gratitude to God and Guru

2012-12-31T06:19:00.002-08:00

Bye bye 2012. I am grateful to Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, my beloved lord, guru and best friend, for all His love and blessings throughout the year. I offer my humble pranams to Bhagawan for His love, constant presence and protection in my life and for my family members. I am equally grateful to you, Bhagawan, for the wonderful friends you have brought into my life at the right time and the many ways in which you are taking care of me and my family. The year 2o12 also marks my 25th year at the lotus feet of Bhagawan Baba.

Bye bye 2012, Welcome 2013

Many things make 2012 one of the happiest years in my personal life. My husband's law firm Axess Legal Corp opened its second office at Lajpat Nagar in May 2012. This is also the year I visited many new places that I hadn't visited before: Ooty, Gavi, Coonoor, Manali, Pune, Hrishikesh, Haridwar. These trips are far more precious and priceless to me because those I love and respect and revere were with me. The experience of being with them is in itself a great blessing because I learn from great spiritual truths from them and that time or that moment cannot be bought with any amount of money or any degree of desire. It has to simply manifest itself as a blessing. And it did. And hey, don't miss reading the birthday surprise that I gave my mom. My dad and my sister Geethu pampered me and Adi a lot by sending some beautiful gifts from Australia. Adi got his first professional sports kit, thanks to 'Geemaa' as he cals her. I got some fabulous winter clothes that she chose painstakingly and it suits me perfectly. I couldn't have chosen better. Dad got me tons of stuff too and I loved it all. I shared some tiny knick knacks that he brought from Australia with my close buddies. The yummy chocolates didn't stand a chance as Adi and Sanand finished it. :)

It was also wonderful to be there for my mom-in-law's birthday too and we celebrated that as well in a sweet way and I was excited to be there for her. I also feel that these blessings are God's will to a great extent. Thank you Baba for making it happen.

My best friends Juhi, Anu and Neelam are the ones who give me a reason to smile every day. They are full of love, positive energy and goodness that I am beginning to feel that it is contagious and spreading to me. They are practically like family and I feel very blessed to have them in my life because they love, pamper and care for me so deeply that I can't imagine what I would do without them. I pray to God to bless them with all happiness in 2013.

A dear friend called Sree is joining a new organization and I am so happy for her. 2013 will bring a tremendous change in her life and I pray for her success too.

Another good friend Michu from Twitter is getting married on January 1st 2013 and my heartfelt wishes and thoughts go to him and his better half as they begin a wonderful chapter in their lives. To all my friends and colleagues, I pray that God brings them lots of happy moments, great opportunities to excel and many fun filled occasions to celebrate throughout 2013.

But wait, I am not over yet with 2012 at least.

My greatest joy remains my son Jyotiraditya, whom I call as Adi. That goes without saying, doesn't it? My 6 year old son Adi who began to learn mantras at the age of 2, is now mastering mantras with minimal help from me and on his own initiative. Learning mantras has sharpened his concentration, speed in thought and his teachers say that he finishes answering questions within minutes and that too correctly.

I have seen and heard of many moms with Hitler-like schedules when it comes to their kids studies and homework. I am proud of not being a mom who works on her kid's homework as if the world depended on it.

Adi is the owner of his studies, we revise, do everything we can to discuss projects, prepare for performances at school and so on. But ultimately I am proud to say that Adi studies on his own, takes his own growth very seriously, asks for help only when he feels stuck and he is very proud of the fact that he is not spoon fed into doing homework or class work. I am told by his class teacher that he is the best reader in his class. Also, for Dusshera celebrations, he represened his class and spoke about the spiritual and cultural importance of Dusshera celebrations.

Adi's school-teacher at The Millenium School, Noida, told me, "He is a pleasure to have in the class not just because he is the brightest and among the best students but because of his personality and he is very well-behaved. He is that rare type of child who will be missed by teachers and students if he is not in class even for a day."

What more can I ask from God? Nothing but constant omnipresence and loving divine protection in my life.

Prayer to Ganga Maa

Two days back, I was at Rishikesh and I had bowed before the Ganga aarti, I prayed to Ganga Maa, "This is my first darshan of you here. Nothing in this world can be as beautiful as you, Ganga Maa - flowing so serenely yet with an inner zeal, a ferocious depth that no mortal like me can ever fathom, the icy coldness is what hits the logical minded perhaps. But I have come as your daughter. The dirt that les in the minds and actions of others - how serenely you take it on yourself without complaint, without expectations that we will change our ways and realize what we are doing is a grave sin. To throw you into the pit of dirt is not possible because it is divine energy that courses through you. You are Ganga Maa - my mother. Bless me for I have sinned unknowingly. Cleanse my Karma so that in my spiritual sadhana I can be strengthened to move ahead. Forgive me for not coming to you earlier. Forgive me for an iota of doubt that had lodged itself in my mind that perhaps you are just another river. Before you, I surrender my ego. All I want is to experience my oneness with the divine energy that you are carrying. All I want is to stand here and experience the sheer ambrosia of Ganga."

The Ganga darshan is how I am ending the year 2012. I bow before Bhagwan Sri Sathya Sai Baba for the year 2012. I pray that all of you, dear readers, bloggers and friends, may be blessed in 2013 with God's abundant grace, love and divine energy. By following the path of God, we learn to respect the divine nature in ourselves and in every living being around us.

Samasthaa lokah sukhino bhavanthu

Happy New Year to all of you. God bless you all.

Why I started Petals! blog

2012-12-23T04:21:00.002-08:00

Six years ago, I began to blog on ‘Petals’ with no idea about what blogging was all about. My only reason for blogging was to document the little milestones, the highs and the lows of an ordinary woman’s life, in a way that perhaps decades later, my son would be able to read and understand about the person that his mother was and struggled to be.

My son’s journey into my heart would probably tell him more about who his mother was as a person and as a spiritual seeker than as a mother – which is truthfully a very miniscule part of me.

At some point of time, my writings would also convey to him how deeply his mother cared and loved him even when she had to leave him when he was just three months old to get back to work.

It may tell him about a mother’s inner conflicts, her core beliefs and her little joys in ways that he may not have known about her directly as her son. This is the reason I began to blog – to share my world with him, to leave a trace of myself for my son and his children and their children to experience in a way that I had not experienced with my grandparents.

But the whole experience that blogging brought me completely transformed my little world. I found bloggers who enjoyed reading the scraps that I wrote for myself. Across the world, I received interesting responses to what I wrote from people who liked reading my blogposts. The maximum traffic that I get on my blog comes from the US, the UK, India, Australia and the UAE. That itself is interesting to me because I never write with an expectation of getting an international audience. Most of the time I write for my son.

Among the blogposts that I have written, the one that got me tremendous appreciation was the one on the Ramayana and the Gayatri mantra. People from across the world wrote to me saying that they had never been interested in reading the Ramayana but after reading my post, they want to do so with a different perspective. The same thing about Gayatri mantra.

This year, I was deeply touched when three very different people e-mailed to me to convey why they liked reading Petals! No one had emailed me before to let me know this so it really meant a lot to me. Also, I did not personally know them too closely.

I read each of their e-mails over and over again because it touched me deeply that these strangers who are not a part of my life have somehow connected to the real me.

And when I go through some really bad days like everyone else, I read these three e-mails because they bring me a sliver of hope and joy. Everytime I read them, tears flow because each word, so warmly etched, fills me with a happiness that I cannot begin to describe. Like a child, I read each of these emails like a gift that is waiting to be unwrapped. And for the first time, I want to share it here with you because now, you are the one I am writing for on this blog called Petals!

First email reads like this:

Hello,

Hope all well at your end. I was reading through your blog on petalsfromtheheart.. I really liked it and ended up reading most of your posts.. Great thought and Keep rocking.. Thanks for sharing your valuable thoughts through posts especially on prayer, tradition and family values.

Best,

Second email:

Hi Swapna,

I crashed into your blog while googling for Sai Baba's words on the Gayatri

Mantra, for a Muslim colleague who works on the same Production Platform as

me in Offshore Qatar.

Your posts reads like poetry. Fluid like water over pebbles in a mountain

stream.

Thought of dropping a word to say I liked the style & pls keep the stream

flowing.

There might be many petals among the flowers in the flowerbed of your heart, but hardly any time to look at them. I guess Malayalees have difficulty expressing appreciation to one among their own. Maybe that could be one of the reasons, few bother to appreciate your work.

The content in your blog is definitely one among the best, especially the fluidity and the way you connect the sentences like a string & make an offering of a garland with your petals. I like the fact some of them are as short & simple as those subjects deserve to be (unless you are researching on it). A balance in the writing is a welcome relief, especially coming from a woman.

The creativity in your words do not reflect in the layout & design of the blog. A few images and color thrown in can make it a pleasure to visit more often. Even for you.

We can't fathom, the number of blog-like posts people make & share on a daily basis with apps like these. Pls add photos to posts Swapna. Lets accept it we're all visual to some degree.

Kind regards,

Third e-mail:

Hi Swapna,

I’ve bookmarked your blog because I really like the Malayalam movie reviews on your blog. Keep writing.

Regards,

Thank you friends for writing in to me and giving me a real purpose to keep writing the way I do.

Whatever said and done, a good word brightens up everyone’s day. Who are the people who have brightened your life with good words?

Gayatri Mantra as Panchamukhi: Get it right or let it go

2012-12-17T19:39:00.002-08:00

Most people do not understand the importance of chanting the Gayatri mantra because they are not aware of its power. It is only when I began to read Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba's teachings that I learned how sacred and powerful the chanting of the Gayatri mantra is.

The Vedas represent the breath of God. The Gayatri mantra is the very basis of the Vedas. Try not to undertake chanting the Gayatri mantra as a light endeavor or as a hobby. It has to be chanted with faith, discipline and purity of mind and body. Be steady with your sadhana if you want to reap the spiritual dividend associated with the Gayatri mantra and never once hesitate once you decide to do it.

Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba said that the Gayatri Mantra is referred to as Pancha Mukhi, the Goddess with five faces that represent the five pranas or life forces. Here's more on it.

Chant the Gayatri Mantra correctly: Pause Five Times

Here are some important things to keep in mind while chanting the Gayatri mantra:

1. When we recite the Gayatri mantra, we pause five times and take five breaths representing the five pranas. The five pranas comprise of the Panchabhuthas (Akasa, Vayu, Agni, Jala and Prithvi) and the Panchakosas or the five sheaths of the body.

The pause should be as given below and with understanding that it represents the five pranas:
Aum (pause)
Bhur Bhuvah Suvah (pause)
Tat Savitur Varenyam (pause)
Bhargo Devasya Dheemahi (pause)
Dhiyo yo nah prachodhayat (pause)

2. The Gayatri mantra must be chanted with faith and enthusiasm thrice a day at dawn, noon and dusk. This is called 'Trikala sandhya' because it is a mantra that purifies all the karma done by a person during the day i.e. karmendriyas. You should chant it when having a bath, before eating food and so on. The Gayatri mantra can be repeated at any time by one who practices it regularly and with devotion.

3. Traditionally, the Gayatri mantra must be chanted 108 times. But Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba says that when a target is fixed, the tendency of the mind is to repeat it mechanically. So, you shouldn't fix a target to tame the mind. You can chant the Gayatri mantra three, nine or eleven times or more based on your level of concentration and interest. Stick to odd number recitation - that is the right way.

4. Women worry whether they can chant the Gayatri mantra when they are having their periods. Spiritual masters say that women can chant any mantra at any time. There is no restriction on it. Whatever restrictions have been placed are artificial and not valid from a spiritual perspective.

5. Teach children how to chant the Gayatri mantra at the earliest. You should make sure that they understand the meaning before they learn to chant the mantra. This will boost their concentration power, their memory and illumine their intellect at gross and subtle level. The energy field that they will be able to create for themselves by chanting the Gayatri mantra will protect them from disease and danger at the most critical times.

6. While chanting the Gayatri mantra, every word should be clear as crystal. Don't mumble it or rush through it. Enjoy it slowly as you would eat a delicious pastry, experiencing its texture as it crumbles on your tongue.

God bless you all.

Movie Review ‘Talaash’: Impressive performances that reveal Secrets of the Spirit World

2012-11-30T20:14:00.000-08:00

The ‘Talaash’ movie reviews that I read across various sites disappointed me and discouraged me from going to watch the film. But let me share a delicious secret with you: Whenever reviews badly thrash a movie, I make it a point to watch it in the theatres. Most of the time, I actually like those movies because they are different.

2012’s best movie is not ‘Talaash’ but it is definitely one of the best and most impressive performances put forward by all of the three main leading actors namely, Aamir Khan, Rani Mukherjee and Kareena Kapoor. Credit goes to Reema Katgi’s direction and Zoya Akhtar’s script. Cheers to them – because good performances are what film goers look for when they spend their precious time in a theatre.

Talaash story: Murder on the Surface, Guilt sinks deep

The story of Talaash begins like this: Superstar Armaan Kapoor’s car nose dives into the sea in Mumbai. Inspector Surjan Singh Shekhawat (starring Aamir Khan) is investigating the case. While investigating, he gets assistance from a prostitute called Rosy (starring Kareena Kapoor).

However, in his personal life, you can see that Shekhawat has many problems. He suffers from insomnia, does not communicate nor does he have a happy relationship with his wife Roshni (starring Rani Mukherji). Some of the dreams that he has represent the thoughts of the sub-conscious mind that he has tried hard to suppress. The nature of a dream is transitory, deceptive yet nothing can be more inspiring to mankind than being able to make some dreams come true.

In his search for Truth, Inspector Shekhawat is as disturbed by his dreams as he is hunting for the clues to decode the murder mystery. The couple are not at ease with each other and you can sense that there are layers of grief that have created a shutdown in their once happy relationship.

A nosey parker neighbour (we can all relate to this) comes to their new home and delivers messages from ‘Karan’ – their child who had died an unnatural death. This triggers Inspector Shekhwat’s fury but his wife begins to find peace in spending time with the Parsi neighbour who can help her receive and write messages from the spirit world.

Aamir Khan is impressive in his portrayal of an intense, moody and sensitive Inspector. His body language, mannerisms and style of investigation is interesting to watch. The performance is so restrained and I felt that this is one of Aamir’s most remarkable performances. You can see how hard he has worked into becoming ‘Inspector Shekhawat’ and he has truly succeeded.

Rani Mukerji portrays the natural grief and sense of shock that can envelope a mother who loses her child in an accident. Her maturity, immaculate balancing between role, timing and skill is evident in very sensitive moments enacted between the husband and wife.

But of the three leading cast, the one who won my heart is Kareena Kapoor who looks ethereally beautiful despite her cheap bright outfits and painted face. In her role as a prostitute, she comes across as unapologetic yet warm and open. She is at her seductive best in terms of her body language. In the scenes where she is trying hard to win Inspector Shekhawat’s attention, she totally catches your eye as a bold and beautiful woman. Her portrayal of Rosy is sensitive and intense without the alibi of innocence or sexual exploitation. She demands your sense of compassion, not attraction or passion.

There are many other fine actors in this film but it goes without saying that Nawazuddin Siddiqui is impressive in his ‘limping’ avatar. The film has a slow narrative but the dialogues and the performances are very subtle, impressive and symbolic, almost respectful of treading the highly protected secrets of the spiritual world.

Talaash Music glides in with melody and soulful notes

It was a pleasure to listen to the songs in Talaash. The track Jee Le Zaraa is so melodious and soothing that it transports you to your own secret world. Talaash music composition is soft and gliding, just perfectly aligned to a soulful script. Another track is Hona Hai Kya and it goes very well with the feel and genre of this film. Yet again, I liked Laakh Duniya Kahe because it has a bitter sweet yearning in its notes and the notes of a piano chime into your mind in a poignant way.

‘Talaash’ story is inspired by Khurshed Bhavnagri’s Laws of the Spirit World

Now this is the part that you shouldn’t skip reading: I believe that the real seed of the story of ‘Talaash’ may have been inspired from a brilliant and authentic book titled The Laws of the Spirit World, written by a Parsi lady called Khorshed Bhavnagari. This is her picture given below.

The Foreword to Khurshed's book was written by none other than Shiamak Davar, who is a household name, so to speak.

Khorshed Bhavnagari had lost both her young sons in an unfortunate car accident. She lost her will to live and that is when her sons began to communicate to her directly from the Spirit World. She began to write down whatever they told her about the world of spirits and why it is important for those who are living to constantly send their love to their loved ones who have passed away and how it is possible for us to communicate with the spirits of the loved ones in a beautiful way.

All the gems and priceless nuggets of information was written down by her and years later, she published this to help others who have lost their children in an unfortunate, unnatural way. On February 22, 1980, she passed away but her book is not just a bestseller but it is a beacon of light, hope and wisdom for those who have lost their loved ones to death.

Lets come back to the movie, shall we? After all, that is the reason you are reading this post. Are you wondering:

Does the super cop find who killed the superstar? Why does a prostitute called Rosy keep giving tips to the Inspector who is investigating the case? How does Inspector Shekhawat manage to tackle the burden of guilt and keep it separate from the reality of his work? Do Inspector Shekhawat and his wife find happiness together despite Rosy’s increasing presence in his life?

Watch ‘Talaash’ not because it offers a thrilling experience or a portrayal of intrigue. Watch it because it is closest you will come to knowing the secrets of the Spirit World. Everything is symbolic. So, concentrate, absorb and discover all that you can about the Spirit World from the subtle dialogues and impressive performances.

So, what are the secrets of the Spirit World? I know them as closely as I know myself but sorry, I don’t have the permission to share it with you now.

But one thing to keep in mind is this: it is possible to communicate with spirit souls and once you begin to communicate with them, there is no going back. It can strengthen and transform your life in the most unbelievable ways. Or it can completely destroy and consume you because of the terrible, heart breaking pain it can bring when you are trying to lead a balanced life.

So, don’t try it unless you are ready to take that risk.

Note: This movie offers one of the best and most impressive performances by all three leading protagonists: Aamir Khan, Rani Mukherjee and Kareena Kapoor in equal measure. Gear up for an intense, soulful film that comes out with a rather cheesy end.

'Theevram' Movie Review: Theevram fails to Impress but Dulquar Salman delivers sans romance

2012-11-26T05:57:00.001-08:00

Impressive and varied performances from the young actor Dulquar Salman will definitely strengthen his position in the Malayalam film industry.

As you already know, Dulquar Salman surprised many by delivering two back to back hits starting with his debut film 'Second Show' and then in the super hit 'Ustad Hotel.' Theevram - Dulquar Salmaan's new movie is directed by Roopesh Peethambaran and produced by VC Ismayil.

I went to watch 'Theevram' because there is an expectation that has been set from Dulquar Salman's previous films. The fact that he is cutting away the typical 'star son moulds' and daring enough to experiment with debut directors and varied genres is sort of reassuring to Malayali film goers like me who want to see a positive change in the Malayalam film industry.

'Theevram' Story is smartly crafted but gets stuck in 'revenge' rut

Theevram is a modern, smartly crafted and well scripted revenge story that begins with a crime taking place and its investigation officer Alexander (starring Sreenivasan) donning the role of an ethical, compassionate and responsible police officer. Sreenivasan makes us laugh with his comical expressions, fear of violent scenes, dead bodies and the sight of blood that is enough to make him puke on the spot. But he's damn good at his job and that's the element of surprise.

Dulquar plays the role of an aspiring young music director called Harshavaradhan who seems to have a bizarre routine, living in a rented house, staying very low profile and teaching a little girl piano classes. But beneath it all, you can sense that he is up to something dark and sinister. Here comes the let down: the first half of the movie itself reveals that he is a sadistic killer.

Dulquar Salman needs to work on getting the romantic angle to sizzle

A film is always about relationships. Without strong relationships and an interesting romantic angle, it is difficult for a film to be convincing. Given that this film is about revenging the death of a woman that Harsha loves, it goes without saying that Dulquar Salman makes no effort at romance in this movie. There is no chemistry with the heroine. This is the part where it becomes evident that he is an actor who is very conscious of doing 'romatnic scenes' naturally. Not just in this movie, but in the previous two fiilms as well, Dulquar Salman's romantic scenes are almost clinical, lacking in depth and passion in portrayal.

Why 'Theevram' disappoints

There is a serious lapse in the narrative between the first half of the movie and the second half. While the first half of the movie gets you totally glued to it, the second half is predictable and pointlessly violent by showing the flash back long after the climax is over. That doesn't make sense for a film maker. There is nothing left in the second half to keep you in your seat.

What could have made 'Theevram' better?

This movie could have been better if it had been well-researched, providing some kind of insight and statistics into the dangers and crimes against women who work and travel late hours and how many cases are reported, solved, taken to justice etc. The team of cops could have been used to bring in the big picture and thereby make it more socially relevant than just a one-off case. By solely focusing on revenge, the opportunity to showcase a larger and more relevant picture is lost.

I agree that a movie need not be solution-oriented but while tackling a very serious crime that has relevance for all women who are either working late hours or traveling late, there should have been a couple of suggestions proposed by the Police who are investigating this case for the sake of all women. It could have cited useful guidelines to companies that employ women to work late hours. Or, the film could have shown or mentioned actual companies that do take the safety of the women employees more seriously. The lack of broad focus and detailed research has crippled the true potential of this film.

Given the fresh and talented actors supporting the film, Theevram could have been much more effective than this. However, Dulquar Salman delivers well.

Messed up Relationships:Three Easy Ways to Tackle it

2012-11-24T21:00:00.001-08:00

In relationships, there's a lot that happens. We make mistakes, we fight it out and based on what happens thereafter, we forgive, let go or we walk off without a backward glance. Worst case scenario? We split up. But there's one thing though. Nothing erodes trust more than a lie or a ridiculous excuse that borders on being as dishonest or ethically incorrect or just plain malice or meanness. These are the surest culprits in eroding relationships and reducing them to nothing. Happens all the time.

(Source: Getty Images)

1. Live in the Present, Take Responsible Action

We live in the 'now' moment. The present is all that eventually matters. So if you have been lied to or your lie has been discovered, don't waste more time by thinking and worrying about it. ACT now. OWN up if you are guilty. CONFESS it with all your heart unless you don't feel guilty about what you've done. If you have been lied to, be at peace. Karma has a natural way of coming back to the perpetrators and that too with triple effect. No one escapes it. Pray for the liar. He/she will really need it.

2. Promise yourself it won't happen again

You've taken moral responsibility for your action but that isn't enough unless you can formulate a clear promise that it won't happen again. If sincerity isn't your strong cup of tea, find ways to cultivate it. Get friends to help you get back on track. Trust me, the effort is worth it. It can save humanity some day. You never know till you try it.

3. Stay true to your core values

If you don't have any worth mentioning, simply introspect. Ask yourself ruthlessly over and over again if there's something more that can be done to repair the damage of that lie. Anything. Everything. Explore a million opportunities to fix things. It's the only safe fall-back option.

Your turn: What's the most important, vital ingredient in a relationship for you, that if once broken, it seals your relation with that person forever? For me, personally, the one thing that erodes my feeling of trust in any relationship is when a person is malicious or mean to me, not once, but repeatedly. That seals it for me. I walk out and I never look back no matter how many opportunities there maybe to fix things. Repeated instances of malice or meanness just gets to me and erodes my trust in that relationship. That nails it for me really.

What about you?

The Buddhist Belief: How not to have a Rebirth

2012-11-19T20:21:00.001-08:00

The Buddhist recipe for this is quite simple. Firstly, have minimal desires. Secondly, do not harbour any feelings of anger, hatred, and jealousy towards any individual.

(Source: Getty Images)

Malayalam Film Review: Arike directed by Shyamaprasad

2012-11-03T22:04:00.001-07:00

Director Shyamaprasad’s ‘Arike’ starring Dileep, Mamta Mohandas and Samvrutha had got mixed reviews and ‘the movie is boring’ comments from many friends and acquaintances. When I sat down and watched it, the experience was slow, sweet and painful. It was an intoxication of sorts.

Simple story, Subtle Performances

‘Arike’s story is simple. It revolves around the perfect couple Shanthanu (starring Dileep) and Kalpana (starring Samvrutha Sunil) whose best friend is Anuradha (starring Mamta Mohandas). The characterisation is what makes the movie interesting despite its slow pace. From the start, we see that the happily in love couple relying solely on Anuradha to arrange their clandestine meetings. Anuradha doesn’t believe in love but she desperately wants her best friend’s affair to culminate in marriage and prove her wrong.

Striking Characterization in Arike

Best friend Kalpana is from a rich Brahmin family and she is pampered by her parents whose world revolves around her every step, Anuradha has a totally different background. She belongs to a lower end middle class family. Unlike Kalpana whose clothes are fashionable and expensive, Anuradha wears clothes that are simple and plain. She does not have any expensive jewellery or accessories to pamper herself with. She wears no make up and looks strikingly plain throughout. Even as she does everything to make Shanthanu and Kalpana meet despite obstacles and opposition, she does not believe in love.

Once Anuradha says to Shanthanu, “I do not believe that true love exists.”

He responds, “True love is always there. We make mistakes in finding true love in the right place, that’s all.”

The two lovers – Shanthanu and Kalpana – are madly in love with each other.

But you can sense that Kalpana is fickle and fleeting with the attention span of a butterfly. She embraces life, lives it for herself alone and sees nothing else as more important than her wants, her desires and she is almost child like in her self-absorbed behaviour.

The roles of Kalpana’s rich parents are fleshed out rather well by Innacent and Urmila Unni. The parents resonate with you because you would have come across parents like them umpteen number of times. They are obsessed with superstition about everything. Blind faith is another deep set malaise. At the same time, when you look at them, you know that all they want is their daughter’s happiness. They understand her nature better than anyone else and they are troubled by her fickleness because they know that love is a fleeting phase for her. To indulge it would be to allow her to ruin her life. They watch over her every movement with anxiety.

A scene that I particularly liked was where Innacent calls his daughter and narrates how on the day she was born, the doctor said it may be difficult to save both mother and child. He tells the doctor without hesitation to save the mother. But the mother, despite the fact that she is semi-conscious, insists that the child should be saved. He tells his daughter, “Don’t hurt your mother.”

All of us can connect to conversations like this in families. The way Director Shyama Prasad has woven it makes this worth watching.

Arike: Summing up

Most reviews have praised Dileep’s portrayal of this character. To be honest, I see Dileep’s portrayal as below average. He does not get into the skin of Shanthanu. He does not understand Shanthanu at all and does a shoddy, weakling’s job instead. The portrayal needed intensity in expression and performance. For the first time, I felt that the director cast the wrong person to portray the character called Shantanu. To my mind, the perfect choices are Manoj K Jayan, Indrajith or Biju Menon.

Do Shanthanu and Kalpana marry? Does Anuradha begin to believe in love through them? I don’t want to tell the whole story. To find out, you’ve got to watch this film.

Penguin India Book Launch: Three Essential Elements to seduce all Book Lovers

2012-11-03T01:37:00.002-07:00

When I received the invite to attend the book launch of “Princes and Painters in Mughal Delhi, 1707-1857”, edited by William Dalyrmple and Yuthika Sharma, I was over the moon. I have been an ardent fan of William Dalyrmple’s books.

Let me begin with a note of appreciation with regard to the book launch that was organized by Penguin Books India with Shangri La’s Eros Hotel at Café Uno lawns, 19 Ashoka Road, New Delhi. It was almost a fairy tale book launch because there was flawless perfection in all the arrangements that were made. Congrats to the teams of both Penguin Books India and Shangri La’s Eros Hotel that made this book launch almost unforgettable.

Make it special

Having attended several book launches in New Delhi, I liked the attention to detail that was a real treat for the guests. There was a stamp of personalized service. Each guest was individually greeted by a small team of enthusiastic staff from Shangri La’s Eros Hotel and gifted an envelope that offers a ______ sshh! I am not about 'to reveal what’s in it here. It’s a secret surprise that’s an absolute delight for all the ladies out there. It’s a master stroke at winning ladies’ hearts, that I can vouch for. You can see that my two colleagues are having a great time too.

And yep, that's me looking grey.

As you can see, we were having a great time.

The bonus was that the food was out of this world. Every time I have eaten prawns dishes in any hotel, it has made me feel sick afterward. The absolutely mouth watering delicious prawns dish that was generously served by the folks at Shangri La’s Eros Hotel melted my defences, got me on a self indulgent prawn eating spreen and I honestly did expect to feel sick later. Nothing happened. I can’t believe this but I was floored by this. The food was truly out of this world. And nope, they didn’t pay me to write this. When I love something, I don’t need to be bribed. I just go and write about the experience. Period.

Intelligent conversations around the Book

Coming back to the book “Princes and Painters in Mughal Delhi, 1707-1857,” it explores the art forms during the reign of the Mughal Empire and points towards the changes that occurred in the art scenario with the rise of British rule in India. Many beautiful pictures portray the Mughal period through vivid imagery depicting emperors and their royal courts, entourages and courtesans, and so on. The interiors of royal courts, the hierarchical positioning of various dignitaries are also detailed well in these intricate images.

The focus of book “Princes and Painters in Mughal Delhi, 1707-1857” is on the period after the “Great Mughals” and it goes on to prove that it is not true that all cultural renaissance came to a standstill or decline after them.

For instance: What comes as a surprise for most is the revelation that Muhammad Shah II was a great art patron. In Indian history, this discovery would perhaps breathe in a new lease of life in pointing towards the fact that the reign of Muhammad Shah II invites a little more curiosity than before. Depictions of his reign are intricately recorded in images such as those that show him watching an elephant fight or in celebrating Holi, which is actually a Hindu festival. Another painting that catches one’s interest is “Muhammad Shah in a Garden.” It offers a detailed landscape painting from around 1735, features the emperor on horseback on the imperial grounds.

But in 1739, Nadir Shah attacked Delhi. History lessons have told us how thousands of citizens were massacred and this Persian ruler took away the prized Peacock Throne of Shahjahan. When the British arrived in

India

, they came for expansion of their commercial and business interests and not as conquerors.

The book “Princes and Painters in Mughal Delhi, 1707-1857” zooms in on David Ochterlony, the British ambassador at the Mughal court in Delhi.

A painting of the court of “Darbar of Akbar II” (dated 1820) is depitcted in the which Ochterlony. The haughty looking British resident is depicted standing among the Mughals in the royal court and he is formally dressed in his British red coat. You will be fascinated to see his aggressive body stance in the royal court where he was supposed to show respect towards the Mughal Emperor. Instead you will see him looking arrogant.

It makes you wonder: was that a sign of things to come? Was it an indication that the British commercial interests were changing into a more political nature or a need to capture positions of political power and sovereign authority? We will never really know. But these paintings offer us hidden stories to interpret.

The book further shows us yet another interesting painting. No, don’t yawn. This painting will interest you. It shows a different side to David Ochterlony. In this watercolour painting, David Ochterlony is no longer appearing formal and ‘British’ but almost going ‘native’ by wearing Indian clothes and keeping the company of many women. He looks relaxed and is smoking a hookah and watching female dancers. The secret buzz is that Ochterlony had 13 Indian wives with whom he would parade near the imperial Red Fort. Each of his wives were on her own elephant. Now, didn’t that wake you up and make you curious about this book?

The book moves on to another British colonial patron, William Fraser who lived in Delhi for three decades. Fraser was Scottish but he had an Indian family. As a patron of art, he commissioned artists for the Fraser Album. This album is a comprehensive compendium of portraits of soldiers, villagers, dancing women, Indian nobles. The photographic detailing in this album is vivid and a remarkable one, most definitely every Book Collector’s delight.

A Dramatic Ending

The book signals the end of the golden period of ‘paintings’ with the work of Ghulam Ali Khan. He was said to be the last royal Mughal painter.

Towards the end, we are shown a depressing photograph of Bahadur Shah II, the last Mughal emperor of Delhi, taken in May 1858. It shows the emperor reclining as though helpless on pillows, and gazing in the direction of the camera. What strikes you from this photograph is the hard hitting truth, that moment, when you experience his shame of being a defeated man, the worst fate for an Emperor. The picture is completed by a wall text that reads like this:

“Delhi was once a paradise,

Where love held sway and reigned;

But its charm lies ravished now

And only ruins remain.”

This book is a Collector’s item and a must-have classic for all art and history buffs. I can’t tell you how richly layered it is. To find out, you have to go grab a copy for yourself. Penguin India, thank you and the amazing team of editors for bringing out a masterpiece like this.