Kitten on the Keyboard

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Tue, 29 May 2012 21:00:07 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Mon, 28 May 2012 21:00:14 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Mon, 28 May 2012 21:00:10 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Sun, 27 May 2012 21:00:01 PDT

In Flanders Fields

by: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)

Canadian Army

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

With all my heart, I thank all our warriors, be they male or female, wounded, fallen, whole and alive, past, present, and future. To those who made the ultimate sacrifice, you have my respect and my honor. May I be worthy.

I also offer my thanks to their friends and families for loaning them to the citizens of our great nation for however long their service has been, was, or will be. They too, made sacrifices.
I offer all of you my utmost respect.

Thank you.

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Sat, 26 May 2012 22:00:03 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Fri, 25 May 2012 21:00:06 PDT

If you love two people at the same time,

choose the second one, because if you really

loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen

for the second.

~Johnny Depp

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Fri, 25 May 2012 21:00:05 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Fri, 25 May 2012 08:46:00 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Fri, 25 May 2012 08:38:00 PDT

Abbot and Costello ... Who's on Unemployment.....

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America .
ABBOTT: Good subject. Terrible times. It's about 9%.
COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.
COSTELLO: You just said 9%.
ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed.
COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work.
ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.
COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 16%
unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, that's 9%
COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%?
ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of work.
COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.
COSTELLO: But ... they are out of work!
ABBOTT: No, you miss my point.
COSTELLO: What point?
ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work, can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.
COSTELLO: To who?
ABBOTT: The unemployed.
COSTELLO: But they are ALL out of work.
ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work... Those who are out of work stopped looking. They gave up. And, if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.
COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles, that would count as less unemployment?
ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!
COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?
ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how you get to 9%. Otherwise it would be 16%. You don't want to read about 16% unemployment do ya?
COSTELLO: That would be frightening.
ABBOTT: Absolutely.
COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means they're two ways to bring down the unemployment number?
ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.
COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?
ABBOTT: Correct.
COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?
ABBOTT: Bingo.
COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to just stop looking for work.
ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an economist.
COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said!

And now you know why Obama's unemployment figures are improving!

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Thu, 24 May 2012 21:00:07 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Wed, 23 May 2012 21:00:03 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Wed, 23 May 2012 21:00:09 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Wed, 23 May 2012 15:53:32 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Wed, 23 May 2012 15:09:00 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Tue, 22 May 2012 21:00:08 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Tue, 22 May 2012 15:08:00 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Tue, 22 May 2012 08:44:10 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Tue, 22 May 2012 08:26:23 PDT

Ladies, this is food for thought for you! You know who you are...

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Tue, 22 May 2012 08:25:19 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Mon, 21 May 2012 17:59:25 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Mon, 21 May 2012 15:08:26 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Mon, 21 May 2012 15:16:49 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Thu, 17 May 2012 11:09:00 PDT

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"

"Sand," answered Juan.

The guard says, "We'll just see about that get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.

He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.

The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?"

"Sand," says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.

"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about..... I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Thu, 17 May 2012 09:47:03 PDT

noreply@blogger.com (Kitten) — Wed, 16 May 2012 11:08:25 PDT

When Someone Needs You....

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened.

Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused.

Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients. Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her, "Who was that man?" he asked.

The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.

"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."

"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"

"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed. I came here tonight to find a Mr. William Grey. His Son was killed in Iraq today, and I was sent to inform him. What was this gentleman's name? "

The nurse with tears in her eyes answered, "Mr. William Grey........."

The next time someone needs you ... just be there. Stay.