deep_thought

Audience question (for the male readers out there)

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:47:00 +0000

If the woman you're going to marry asks you to tag along her last name to yours, so that both of you end up with the same hyphenated surname, how would you respond?

A) I'll do it if you want me to / if it means so much to you/ if I have to / if you withhold sex if I don't
B) No , its simply complicated. Are we going to be Mr and Mrs Patel (girl's last name)-Krishnan (guy's last name) or Krishnan-Patel or what?
C) No, I never asked you to change your name either
D) No, its not worth two people changing their names, why don't you just become Patel-Krishnan and that's the last name we give our kid too
E) An enthusiastic, yes! let's do it! :)
F) Other (describe your answer please)

And while you're at it, please also explain how you will deal with kids names in each case?? Because that's one of the biggest factors in changing names, identifying a family, etc.

For the female readers out there, how many think this is a non-issue, and the current common resolution to this (I see most women retain their maiden surnames and add their husband's last name to it, the kid gets a hyphenated last name-but actually the mom's name ends up as a middle name and the dad's name ends up as last name) is just fine?

For the record, one of my classmates in grad school tagged his wife's last name to his- so they both were Shah-Patels. ( in which Patel would be the girl's last name). All the girls thought his guy was the coolest guy evar and all the guys hated him for doing this. :)

Shout out to visitor from bangalore news agency

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:58:00 +0000

Somebody from a bangalore news agency IP visits this blog sometimes..I was wondering if you could help me out with a personal favour?

Please email me at trillian26@gmail.com if you read this.

TIA :)

On the veracity and accuracy of published work.

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:42:00 +0000

I had blogged earlier about how I was slightly surprised and concerned by my P.I's attitude towards literature, and his lack of faith in it. I am now beginning to see why.

While I am not naive, I admit to being slightly idealistic, and expecting others to adhere to strong scientific standards as I would. Therefore, I would expect, that if a study says it has performed a certain analysis and found something, within that framework, I expect that to be a carefully analysed and reported set of results- even if restricted to the data and conditions the authors used. There really should be no room for ambiguity once you start looking at the data in the context of that paper alone. And if there is, it should be pointed out in the paper. If the authors miss it, I expect peer-review to catch it.

I spent the past few days trying to make sense of a huge study, published in 2006 in the journal PLOS Medicine The list of authors has a handful of big names on it, and the paper itself is one of the first large-scale studies of its kind in its sub-field with some very promising findings, that can very well serve as a starting point for several other investigators such as me.

When I downloaded all the supplementary data (this is data that is not published in the main text of the journal to save on space) and tried to cross-compare different analyses within the paper, a lot of findings were not holding up. This is not to say that the data was wrong or falsified, but that statements made did not match up to the data shown, and several inconsistencies spanned the paper.

Because of the scale of the study, badly organized and labelled figures and lots of discordance within the published paper, I spent days just making sense of all of it and putting it down in a way I could understand and explain to my P.I. Thats when things began popping up that didn't make sense or were confusing. I wrote to the first author who responded that I was over-interpreting the data and there were some caveats (that weren't spelled out in the paper). If I set that aside, other discrepancies still existed- and when I pressed some more, leaving out all my interpretation and simply quoting the paper and his data; I was told that the individual experiments in the paper spanned a period of 3 to 4 years and during which genome builds/ chip annotations had changed and hence the discordance. Hence, some aspects were indeed confusing and my best bet was to re-do the analysis to find what I needed, and that is why the raw data files were provided with the paper.

While I understand the dynamic nature of sequence data and chip design, I would expect that such discordance, when reported in a single paper, would be addressed by the authors as the paper is published, and it should not be left to the reader to have to spend precious hours poring over the data trying to make sense of it, engage in communications with the author, and then, eventually, be told to download the raw data and re-analyse it in order to find the answers to their questions.

Even if the authors did a bad job presenting their work in a careless and possibly wrong way (I won't know until i re-analyse ,and I'll be damned if I waste any more of my time on that), what role does peer-review serve? Finally, the scientific community suffers because of time spent in following wrong leads that were not thoroughly researched in the first place and high profile, high impact journals actually publish what is essentially incorrect or invalidated information.

work woes

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 14:33:00 +0000

So the other day I had an epiphany of sorts in the middle of the night and woke up and wrote a long rambling email about it to my boss- explaining how I thought one of the basic ideas in my project was flawed. Thankfully I didn't send it, because it wouldn't make any sense. Instead I haunted his office all day and as soon as he made an entry I burst out with my fears.

Turns out I had very good reason to be concerned. But the boss said that this was one of the limitations of our set up and its kind of the un-written assumption that everyone operates on for lack of anything better. It was like having that parent-child talk of "we have to make do with what we can get". Sigh.

Then yesterday I stormed into his office once more and went into rant mode- about how I thought I was chasing a unicorn or pot of gold or whatever metaphor u want to use for something that probably exists in only our fantasies. Again he gave me a patient listen, had another talk that almost sounded like a shrink session to me, and suggested that I explore other projects if I wanted, but not to give up on this yet. And admitted that yes, it was hard, and harder than it seemed.

I am not against doing difficult things- heck - that is where the challenge lies. However, I have been a bit burned by my previous post-doc and clearly a lot more cautious now- about trusting boss people who do not have your interests in mind, about chasing pet theories of others, and, above all, about wasting precious time without a back-up or more feasible project running simultaneously. And the worst part is, I began this project thinking it was reasonably straightforward- and that is why it is more frustrating that this is not moving forward. This was the easy-peesy project I had in mind- the other "Back up" is actually harder!

So I have decided to give this two more weeks. Step it up, test the hypothesis on several candidates at once, and see if even one emerges as a promising candidate. In two weeks, if I have spent all my time and not gotten a single lead, I am going to start pushing this on to the back burner and move on to the other project, which also I need to step up.

The good part is, at least, my boss is receptive to my concerns, respects my professional opinion, and is not entirely bereft interest in my well-being. Thats the only good thing I could glean from all of this.

Sigh. Onward and upward.

The weekend that was

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 06:28:00 +0000

Was awesome. Until now. But I am not going to let one annoying thing spoil all the fun I had. So I am recording the fun part here.

1) Surprised my sis, b-i-l and niece by showing up there for Halloween. Took my niece trick/treating. It was all so much fun.

2) Gained an hour overnight. This has never failed to make me super happy- all these seven years.

3) Met up with my cool pilot friend and my best friend from school who just got back after a vacation. Was fun to hang out in the city, go shopping etc. with CPF and simply a huge relief to have BFFS back in town. Yay!

Nothing works like your girlfriends telling you that you've put on weight. Woe is me! But I have started yoga and eating right so hopefully will fix this problem. Meantime, sample this conversation

CPF: You've put on weight, tgfi.
BFfS: Ya, I also thought so, I was going to say but didn't.
Fat TGFI: Yeah, I know I know. CPF already pointed it out earlier
BFfS: Shouldn't you be losing wt, what with boyfriend gone and all that
Fat yet gracious TGFI: Anyways, both of you have lost weight
CPF: Are you kidding me...blah blah...
BFfS-absolutely-lacking-in-grace/tact-dept: Yeah, thats how it seems when you gain weight- everyone else appears as if they have lost weight.

With friends like these....:)

4) presents :)

W O M M

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:30:00 +0000

I missed out on my friend's wedding in India, and he called me while he was on his honeymoon to wish me on my birthday. What an absolute darling. Today I called his home and I yelled into the phone "Hi Auntyyyyy!!!" because I thought it was his mom- when it was actually the newly-wedded bride on the phone. Why do I do stupid things like that? She seems like a good sport though :)

After 7-8 years here, I'm finally warming up to the idea of Halloween. I think its mostly because of my niece and her excitement at wanting to get a costume etc. I also am beginning to enjoy the general festive excitement around during this time. And then there are lots of creative costumes so it can be fun. In the past- I always avoided Halloween parties because I didn't like the idea of it..This year I wish i had a few friends to go out into the city with and check out the hungama.

My sister just called me in slight consternation. She says my niece walks in the same way I used to walk as a kid. And when I was a kid- all through school too in fact, I walked the exact polar opposite of a dainty girl-like walk. My sis and others called me "ghoda gaadi" and my mom admonished me many times to stop walking like i had springs in my feet. My sis is not at all happy about my niece inheriting this trait. I am proud of her- go forth and gallop dear girl, no need to adhere to stereotypes. :D

Been over few days of bitching and moaning. All kinds of stuff bothering me: work has been sluggish as hell and other stuff too. But today I feel all cheered up. I am excited about the kids in my building coming trick/treating for halloween. That should be fun. I hope they come. And I'm reminding myself to think happy thoughts, find the good things to be happy about, because it is true, I have a lot of things to be happy about.For one i'm glad I can still get excited about small things in life- be it kids dressed up for halloween or a friend's wedding, or a cool paper that just came out and i can't wait to discuss it with other english speaking folks so i just took the initiative and joined journal club with the lab next door. Yay! :)

W O M M

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 13:13:00 +0000

A very close friend of mine is stuck in what sometimes seems to me like a really unhappy marriage. I have gone through all sorts of phases- from wishing I had been a better girlfriend so I'd be up to speed with her life and choices when she started going out with him- then wishing I had voiced my disapproval when I finally found out who it was - then actually trying to vaguely tell her to reconsider- but there's only so much you can do from long distance- then even feeling happiness for her that her parents agreed to their marriage- but actually secretly wished they hadn't- then hearing her complain endlessly for the past 2 -3 years- and then seeing things for myself and wondering if things were really as bad or if she was just telling me the annoying parts and leaving out the happy bits- or if she had just not come to terms with the basic socio-economic-cultural divide between herself and her husband and never would.

whew. long sentence.

There were times I felt my friend's constant cribbing, unhappiness- or at least the way she projected them to me- via email, chat etc- were so overwhelming to me- but wondered if that was just her little vent and chance at offloading what was a clear conflict between the way we had been brought up and the house she ended up marrying into. Even later, I'd tell her to get out of it - but the next thing I know, she is working hard on having a child.

My friend is not dumb. Far from. She's smart and well-accomplished for herself. I don't think I'll ever have a realistic picture of the life she leads- all I hear are rants, cribs, complaints, general unhappiness. And they always end with "but you don't worry about me". When I visit her and her husband- he seems alright- yes- the socio-cultural divide is huge- but he respects her parents- is familiar and friendly with her family members- and these little outwardly signs made me wonder if its all that miserable as I was perceiving. Of course I don't get to witness his overbearing, dominating and suspicious attitude with her, or the fact that his mom makes her life miserable in petty ways and he won't stand up for her- all these things I only hear from my friend.

Today I asked her what she wanted out of life? Did she want to continue like this- did the good outweigh the bad enough? She said she has given it a thought and decided that she has to take life as it comes.

I know its easier said than done to get out of a marriage- especially in India- but I know of my own cousins who have done it- if anything- to just maintain their sanity. It is for nobody else to say what constitutes reason enough to get out of a marriage- if it something you simply are not equipped to deal with- its probably wiser to get out than compromise with a lifetime of unhappiness/dissatisfaction etc. And only you know your breaking points.

I have made a very cold decision today- to "be there" for my friend as her sounding/venting board- but only as long as it doesn't bring me down. In the past- it used to bother me- we have grown up together- and it pained me to see that she was having such a tough life. But I really think that she seems to have accepted her lot- for whatever reason- and its pointless for me to get agitated/dragged-down/debate in my own head about the kind of advice I can give her- or even feel remotely responsible for anything.

I don't know if I'm perpetuating her self-fulfilling cycle by being a passive listener. I feel compelled to say, every now and then- if its so bad what are you thinking about having a kid for? But I think thats the point- its probably not so bad- or not bad enough for her to be inspired enough to get out of it.

I have just decided to be slightly detached. Because I think at this point she needs to make her peace with it- find her own happiness in whatever way she can- or else seriously contemplate ending it- if it is indeed as miserable. I really don't know how I can help. I am out of ideas and, I am afraid, out of sympathy.

W O M M

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:35:00 +0000

I had a terrible terrible dream last night and couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. I don't remember anything about the dream except the image of my mom crying. :( I so badly need to get it out of my head..I hope this post does it.

I had a lousy day at work too. Went in late, got nothing done besides getting my brain fried analysing data and ending just where i had begun. The good thing is, I reached out and asked for help before I waste any more time just trying to figure it all out myself.

I keep thinking about money. How I haven't saved any, how I will return to India in a year or so and have no savings of my own. Stupid post-doc life. I need to stop dwelling on it because there's really nothing I can change- rent will always be more than half of my paycheck- unless I move in to share a place with someone which I will never do. Besides that, I live a pretty low-maintenance life and can't exactly see what I can cut down on- except, may be eating at the cafeteria for lunch- which is really pretty inexpensive but the only regular habit I can break to save any money.

So many minor irritants in my day. Including all the errands I need to run around the house. I think I should just start doing them and will automatically feel better.

Over and out.

May be it's time to accept it?

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:46:00 +0000

Signs that this was not my second 29th birthday...

I slept through the 12-midnight hour and very grumpily and groggily took enthusiastic phone calls wishing me a Happy Birthday.

:)

Had a Happy Birthday nevertheless. Phone calls, books, nice time at a friend's place ..people that couldn't be here ensured that I had a good time any way. Felt nice.

Will celebrate it all over again with niece soon..and that will be my second 29th. :)

rant

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:48:00 +0000

I have no sympathy for the Chinese and their terrible English and total lack of communication skills- because the majority of them make no effort whatsoever to improve their English- stick to speaking in Mandarin amongst themselves even after spending years in the US grad school and post-doc system. And it just ends up being a frustrating experience to get things across and deal with them.

Grr.

Which all reminds me of a funny episode in lab the other day. My chinese labmate is introducing me over email to another professor, and he says "Another guy from our lab, TGFI, will be contacting you".

When I explained to him that guy is male, he profusely apologised and said "but I hear some people say "Guys" to women too!"

:)

Facebook Shacebook

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 23:31:00 +0000

Facebook is giving us new meanings to all simple english words. You know how a facebook friend is not necessarily a "Friend", a facebook poke is doesn't involve anything sharp or pointy or poky, etc.

One thing I have yet to understand is this "likes" business. Somebody has some thought, pithy saying, self-absorbed fact, slogan or joke, and a bunch of others go about "liking" it. I do not understand what it is they are liking here.

"Sunita made awesome batata wadas"
Eeena, Meena, Deeka and 3 others like this (thumbs up sign).

OK, so do they like batawadas, sunita, or the fact that sunita made the batata wadas?

Then

"Jeff supports Obama's Health Care reforms"
Tom Dick and Harry like this. Again, what is it they like?

It gets more complicated when

Mala is missing Mumbai during Diwali
and Sonu and Pinky like this.

You like that which Mala is missing, or the fact that Mala is missing something?

I've even seen (I kid you not)
Natalie: "R.I.P. dear friend Victor. you will be missed"
And Joe and Moe like that!

rant rant

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 19:20:00 +0000

WTF is up with the weather. its freezing cold. and rain. ugh.

And i'm sorry for all this TMI but I need someone to please explain it to me why the eff the restroom on our floor in the building is such a mess always. I mean unless people are taking a shower in the wash basin I don't understand why there's water all over the place around the basins, on the floor...and do people have no civic sense and cannot clean up after themselves-whatever the heck causes them to throw water all over the place- even when you have a never ending supply of paper towels spewing from anywhere the outstretched arm can reach?

What nonsense.

Headache mein pain. stay out of my way please.

Migraines

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 23:18:00 +0000

It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that one of the most frequent triggers to my horrible migraine attacks is skipping a meal. To my credit, I don't do this too often, but when I do- mostly out of laziness- I pay a very heavy price for it. I skipped dinner last night and "forgot" about lunch until late afternoon, subsisting only on my breakfast (cereal and fruit) until then. The resultant migraine was so severe and blinding- I could barely see where I was going as I made my way to the cafeteria and got myself some food. Once the headache and aura begins to take shape, there's no stopping it with any medication. I came home, head in my hands and escaped into a dark room for a while. I hope that today's suffering will be a lesson for me, to never skip meals again, to eat well and to eat on time.

I am so tired.

Meet the parents

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 02:00:00 +0000

B the boyfriend went to meet my parents in hyd. My sister and I had discussed prepping him for this momentous occasion, but we finally realized that there are some things in life nothing can prepare you for. So we just let it be. In retrospect, I wish I had prepped him on a few basic things- like to not say "Yes" each time coffee was offered- or warned him about ugly swing..

Copious coffee consumption & ugly swing aside, I think it all went well. My dad went to pick up B from the guest house he was staying at. While B expected my dad to be waiting downstairs, my dad somehow managed to find his way up into the lobby right outside B's door. So when B came out expecting to see the guest house manager, he was face to face with my dad, and totally lost and clueless. Once they successfully overcame that awkward introduction, they set out home. Then on the way some car banged my dad's car and more drama ensued. But on the streets of hyd this is an everyday occurrence. So I guess that one was just brushed aside and they moved on.

Coffee # 1 was offered as soon as B got home. He readily nodded and downed one cup of my mom's awesome filter coffee. There was general chit chat..B met with my grand dad and then got offered and unflinchingly accepted coffee # 2 along with samosas. Now in my house we don't drink coffee as if the plant is going to go extinct or as a replacement for water. Coffee is had once in the morning, and may be once in the evening, if at all. But it is offered, for the sake of courtesy and in keeping with true south indian hospitality. Soon after coffee #2 it was made known to everyone in the room that they were out of coffee powder. B was also witness to a mini-argument between my dad and mom about who should've remembered about the coffee being almost over. One would think he'd make a note to refuse further coffees. Nuh uh- he hastened to add that he then overheard my mom asking my cousin to pick up some coffee powder on his way to our place and so felt reassured. How nice indeed.

At some point I called, and my mom, dad and B were in the balcony enjoying the view. After my dad and mom spoke to me, they passed on the phone to B and apparently politely left the room, one after other, so B could talk to me at ease. Heh. :) B said he was having a nice time, but it was not until I prodded (how could i have not?) that he told me in a shocked whisper that there was this hideous swing, and, to top it all, a green parrot atop the swing that he had to try really hard to not stare at. I sympathized and suggested keeping his head bowed down rest of the evening to avoid looking at parrot.

The family then went out to dinner..more conversation..now my cousin is a bit of talker and can get quite carried away discussing politics/economics/cricket/music what-have-you. Apparently B would notice my mom glazing over every now and then and so would cleverly bring up my niece Kavita and her antics..and succeed in making my parents' faces light up each time he did that. Smart fellow. For dessert they ordered Qubani ka meetha and an argument ensued about whether it was anjeer or apricots and B sided with my mom first, then finally decided it was a mix of both, trying to appease all sides of the argument. Well done there too. Then they returned home and called it a day.

Next morning there was coffee #3 and #4 and breakfast. B insisted on seeing some of my childhood photos. Now this part I forewarned my parents about, but it was of no use. They brought out all the albums that were there around, and I get to hear, from B, later on, about an "awesome" photo of my sister and me grinning, standing in our nighties. Also references to my "bob cut". Why, I ask, WHY? And B also noticed that I was frowning in all my childhood pics while my sis was grinning from ear to ear. Well, she clearly had more practice than me, given that there were such few photos of mine ever taken. I'm sure poor me was wondering what one was supposed to do when confronted with that black thing. Anyway, that saga is for a different day. B got my dad to take out his photos of his university days, and talk about them- my dad did a lot of talking for the generally quiet person that he is. Then the conversation drifted to food and B made the mistake of telling my parents that he doesn't eat brinjal and got the patent mini-lecture from my dad about how one must eat everything etc. etc. Hahahahaha! I'm so glad! :)

Later they had lovely Andhra lunch made by my mom, followed by payasam and post-lunch as they sat around chatting my dad was nodding off to sleep sitting in the chair. My dad always does this, and he manages to snore too - it can be very embarrassing. So my mom tries to cover up for my dad and B manages to laugh it off and say "Yes aunty, TGFI does it too". WTF. Then the fool gets asked, by mom , "She does it too? How do you know". (implying, were you two living together, by any chance?). And so B has to hurriedly cover up with some lame ass "once we went to a friend's place for dinner and a movie and she dozed off...". Yeah. Not cool.

Some (more) coffee and payasam later its time for B to leave for the airport- my dad takes him to the airport and they enjoy more chat about my dad's university days and B's family etc. etc. Apparently there was never a bored awkward silence moment.

When I called my parents to get the low-down, they were both very happy and upbeat and full of praise forthcoming for the boyfriend. I expected my dad to say "nice guy" and leave it at that, but he was way much more generous and vocal in his approval. While I never really doubted that this would go well, it was so nice to hear my parents so enthusiastic and happy about it. They said all the good things they wanted to say, and their parting lines were:
my dad: "Congratulations TGFI, very good choice". :) (aww)
and my mom: "But he drinks a lot of coffee, no?". :)

I have a plan

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:35:00 +0000

I feel good about it. Charted out my experiments and plan of action for the next 6-10 months. It gives me a roadmap to work along, and ensure that I do a good job at this post-doc, however long I'm going to be here for. I have decided to stop this constant battle in my head about "what if i leave in a year- what am i going to achieve.." kind of defeatist attitude and just work on my 12 month plan.

I also love the post-doc atmosphere I am in. Granted, I've only been in one other place before this, but I also have lots of friends who are post-docs all over the place, and as a rule, its mostly been a whiny-bitchfest type atmosphere. Over here, the post-docs also whine and bitch their share, but it is accompanied by proactive steps being taken, and a very strong sense of community and network-building. A couple faculty members take active care to oversee post-doc quality of life, and that feels good. Being in a vibrant city like this, with ample scope to network not just within the univ but outside with other univs also helps a lot.

I came across an exercise to help you introspect and better identify an ideal career path. It involves looking back on your entire life, and writing down 15 - 25 occasions that met the following criteria

1) you played an important role
2) there was a successful outcome
3) you enjoyed yourself while doing it

Then, select 7 of these occasions and write a story about each, including

1) The goal
2) The obstacles that had to be overcome
3) Explain your actions step by step
4) What was the result
5) Any specific measurable outcome to prove your achievement.

The idea is to identify recurring themes throughout your life that show what you are good at, what you enjoy doing, and the way you enjoy doing them.

I just listed a few of my stories and the recurring theme at the end "what was the measurable outcome" was always "I / we won a prize for it". :D Perhaps I will blog about my seven stories..or not..but I wanted to write about the exercise because I think its a worthwhile one and anyone who wants to assess their career path should try it.

W O M M

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 22:44:00 +0000

I tested out, for the first time an online grocery website called peapod.com. The online grocery shopping experience was fun. I spent less than 20 mins- I had a LONG list since I'm out of everything at home. It was nice to be able to shop by category, compare prices etc. easily. I could also incorporate some kind of calorie-counting if I wanted to, but I didn't go that far. I didn't have to stand in a long frustrating queue, and I didn't have to worry about carting and hauling my stuff home. My groceries are supposed to arrive tomorrow morning, and i am super-excited and awaiting them. :) They have a free-delivery deal for the first time, if you spend a minimum , so I easily did that by stocking up on non-perishables and replenishing all of my regular stuff. Stay tuned for update.

I think I have a basic witch-hunt problem with my experiments. I keep going after the wrong thing, with full zeal and over-thought experiments, only to find out that the culprit is something else. This has happened a few times now, even though I base my "witch hunt" on pretty logical observations. I guess i need to rethink strategies to deal with some of my trouble-shooting skills.

I am so close, yet so far, to the exciting part of my project. So many months went in just developing a plan, getting hands wet and standardizing assays. Some of the grunt work is still left, but I can also move along to the more exciting stuff. It has been fun so far, I just need it to speed it up now (i.e. put in 12 hour work days). I really need to work with the end-goal of a paper in mind. Minimum publishable unit.

I found out that I cannot travel to India to attend my friend's wedding. am super-bummed. Two of the friends from that group are going to be there- it would've been so much fun to go! :(

The long-distance relationship is becoming a way of life. Not sure if that's good or bad, or, just life. AT&T now has an A-list- where you can enter phone numbers of 5 people not on an att plan, and talk to them without minutes being deducted. (Thanks to confused for the tip). It works only for the $60.00 plus plan. I have managed to put my calling card access number on there, and its so much nicer to not to have to keep track of my minutes now during daytime india calls.

There is a short-cut to my lab I used to take, through a not-so-nice area. The street is dotted with lots of construction labourer people, some of who would make cat calls or just stare/comment when I passed by. I insisted on taking this route, armed with my mace and staring past them, mostly because I knew they were harmless but also because I felt like I had to stand up to my right to be able to take a shorter route and not have to give in to the idiots. For some reason, I have now stopped taking it. It was a subconscious switch- may be because its getting darker earlier and I actually don't feel safe walking that way, or may be because I actually enjoy the slightly longer, roundabout walk. It could also be because I'm making it out of the house early and not in a rush. I am not sure why. But I am happier for it- the subtle feeling of irritation that I had to put up with every morning is definitely something I can do without.

I have been talking to some really smart people about my project to bounce off ideas. My ideas have been received really well from them, and that makes me feel very good. I also realized that its such an uplifter- a word to all struggling scientists out there- don't feel inhibited to walk up that smart professor on your floor and discuss your stuff. Most of them have an endless amount of creative firing going on in their brains 24/7, and are excited enough about science to indulge in you. So just spend some time crystallizing your ideas and then go and ask for their time- may be email them a little gist of your project to pique their interests and set the stage. Thats the fun part of academia- free exchange of thoughts and resultant brainstorming. I guess in grad school we had committee meetings that served this purpose- as post-docs- if your fellow-lab-mates are just quiet and speak only when spoken to, and other post-docs are too busy in their own stuff- its worth giving the professors a shot and a shout-out.

Over and out.

reminder

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 16:03:00 +0000

Stop over-thinking. Plan. Do. Chill.

Writing versus typing

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:40:00 +0000

Most of my ph.d. thesis and a large component of my papers - especially the discussion portions, i hand-wrote. I have actually filled up several notepads - not just with scribbling and and doodling but full-fledged sentences and paragraphs. Even now, while writing out a research plan for myself, I choose pen and paper. Later on, I transcribe my notes to word and also use some mind-mapping tools like free-mind. I have always been able to think better, have my ideas flow better when I'm writing on paper. While typing on a screen, I often feel a little intimidated or find it difficult to keep my thought streams going. I can also accommodate and organize my thoughts- which are often spilling over in all different directions- when i'm writing on paper, so that i can keep track and come back to some points later. This helps a lot in the early stages of conceptualizing a project or writing out hypotheses, rationale, evidence, IF-THEN flowsheets, etc. I just bought one of those stands/easels type thing that you can place next to your monitor, so i stick my notepad on there and transcribe my notes into a typed out document so i can share it with others or just store the final form.

Today I came across this tip on productivity.com and felt one of those happy, i've-been-doing-this-all-along type feelings. :)

There was some research done into what parts of the brain were triggered when writing at a computer versus what parts were triggered when writing with a pencil and paper. The experiments showed that writing by hand triggered activity in significantly different portions of the brain than when writing at a computer....

because i can't rant against this shit enough

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:08:00 +0000

Just got off the phone with my health insurance providers. apparently my claim hadn't been filed yet because "my claim form seems to have gotten folded and the information needed wasn't visible."

Although they did have my cover letter with my membership # etc. visible - so they could trace it when I called, but to expect them to reach me to tell me that my claim form got mangled by their fax machine would be a bit much, no?

That's Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield for you. Useless people.

LOOK WHO'S BAAAAACK

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 23:40:00 +0000

Or so she says. Of all the blogs that went and disappeared into bloglivion, her disappearance made me the saddest, and her re-appearance has made me the happiest. :D

Everybody please welcome back and remember to bug Jane to update from now on!

In keeping with tradition, a round of celebratory drinks on the house! :)

YAY!

random gyaan for the day

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 13:51:00 +0000

A small degree of detachment is not such a bad thing..

Every step he took would rock my world. Not anymore

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 01:33:00 +0000

It worked! (and no, I'm not referring to an experiment there).

I posted a very nice note on upstairs neighbour's door. I signed it with my name, and also said it was a polite request telling him/her (although i am tempted to guess it is a guy stomping around) to be mindful about the noise he made when he walked about, and that i understood that the bad soundproofing in this old apartment building was mostly to blame.

Well- I just got home an hour ago- and can already feel the difference! I can actually feel like I can hear more restrained movement, instead of my shelves and china rattling and walls vibrating. I am so kicked! May be i'll write him a thank-you note now. :p

That brings me to something that just crossed my mind- how come I am not complaining that much about experiments not working? It is not due to lack of experiments not working, that much I can tell you. It is a lot of things. I think work pressures have gotten less disproportionate thanks to other significant events in life, thanks to living in a city where there's so much more to do and distract myself with, and also, thanks to a very considerate boss. We discuss my stuff every few days and he is aware that I'm struggling to make some things work, while moving ahead with some others. He may not have the best troubleshooting tips- but at least he is aware of my progress, my roadblocks, and is encouraging, always.

I think I have definitely set a lot more achievable goals for myself in this lab- and one might argue that they are not stellar or nature-paper material - but you know what, I am getting something done. I have spread myself over several little projects, so that something or the other is moving ahead while others attain back-burner status. And the piecemeal approach is working very well- while at the bench, I am viewing each mini-project as just that- so it doesn't overwhelm me. But the bigger picture that I hope to put together when all of these little ones work will indeed be some cool work. Something that nobody has shown and something that nobody I know is pursuing. I always had a penchant for the obscure - it worked in my favour during my Ph.D. - even though getting there was more painful than if had a chosen some more tried and tested paths, I see myself taking a similar path here. My eyes are not set on a Nature paper - just to fit pieces of the puzzle that I am curious to answer.

I find a lot of my grad-school level of motivation and enjoyment towards science coming back now- coming up with ideas in the shower- enjoying discussions with my boss and my overall enthusiasm for my stuff. I don't remember feeling this way at all at my previous post-doc- the whole thing was just one single pall of gloom, always bringing me down- and yes, my goals were set a lot more higher. Both the projects I was working on then were tough, high-risk ones- and I suffered from absolute lack of advice and help- and intense pressure and the feeling of being incompetent. I am so glad I got out of there before it made me a wreck.

The trauma stayed with me for a while, though. It is only 9 months since I left that place, but every now and then I'd think back to those days and it would bring me down. Recently- I bumped into an old acquaintance from there. I thought seeing him would serve as a reminder of those horrible times- the times I worked until 2 AM and the times I dragged myself to the lab- but it was actually very different. I was so glad to meet him- he was one of the nicer people I knew there- and it just felt good to catch up with him and realize how, both of us, who were unhappy in our respective labs, have moved on since then, gotten out of our unhappy situations and seem so much happier now.

Yeah- this experiment seems to be working too! :)

The weekend that was

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 00:23:00 +0000

Was nice. Met some people and "networked" in the true sense of that word for the first time ever. Glad I made this beginning in a mostly approachable group of people.

I spent 8 hours (to and fro) on a bus, it was nice. Very comfortable bus ride and I was happy for not choosing to drive in the crappy weather. Instead sat atop a double-decker bus and watch the rain, read, surfed the net and ate my packed food.

Double-decker buses and the front window seats still make me giddy with excitement. :)

Loved watching the bus snake out of the city, recognize familiar street-sights etc.

Came back to the city and had a great time with G and her husband. Great food, fun conversation that leaves you feeling warm on a cold rainy day.

Sunday has been a drag. I lazed mostly- but I think I needed it. I cleaned up a bit, cooked etc.

Discovered I am becoming my mom in so many ways. :/

Also discovered that i am becoming one of those annoying people in a relationship who wants to set other people up. Bah! I am trying not to, I promise!

I am going to finish up the cleaning and go to bed early. Tomorrow I will print out previous post and stick on upstairs neighbour's door. They are driving me C-RAZY!

Dear Upstairs Neighbour

noreply@blogger.com (The_Girl_From_Ipanema) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 19:50:00 +0000

Do you have a mini bowling alley in your apartment?

Do you have pet elephants?

Are you elephants?

WTF is up with the loud pounding noise every time you decide to walk across the room? Why do they cause my kitchen shelves to rattle?

Admittedly the sound-proofing in this building sucks, but a little less elephantine behaviour on your part would also help. Especially after midnight.

tia

deep_thought

Audience question (for the male readers out there)

Shout out to visitor from bangalore news agency

On the veracity and accuracy of published work.

work woes

The weekend that was

W O M M

W O M M

W O M M

May be it's time to accept it?

rant

Blogrolling

Facebook Shacebook

rant rant

Migraines

Meet the parents

I have a plan

W O M M

reminder

Writing versus typing

because i can't rant against this shit enough

LOOK WHO'S BAAAAACK

random gyaan for the day

Every step he took would rock my world. Not anymore

The weekend that was

Dear Upstairs Neighbour