Tales of an Unfit Mommy

2013 Goals

2012-12-31T15:52:00.001-05:00

I feel like I accomplished a lot in 2012 related to my physical fitness. So much healthier, physically at least.

My 2013 goals focus a lot more on my emotional/mental fitness. They are still a work in progress, but at least a starting point. And more than goals, they are more like my own personal Happiness Project.

Additionally, I just found out today that the nagging leg pain I've been experiencing is in fact a stress fracture. So, no more running or other strenuous legwork for 4-6 weeks for me. Sure puts a damper on some of the goals I was contemplating for 2013. I'll re-examine them once I'm healed though and see. In the meantime, hopefully I can maintain my cardiovascular health. Anyone have any tips for doing that without using your legs?

I tried to come up with twelve items with the intention of focusing on one per month, although I haven't really determined which ones are first.

In no particular order:
1) Be a better Mom
2) Breathe more energy into my life
3) Foster friendship and community
4) Improve my attitude
5) Make more time for play
6) Rediscover and nurture my passions
7) Take my professional presence to the next level
8) Focus on fitness - especially emotional & mental
9) Remember love
10) Accept myself
11) Overcome fear
12) Own my strengths - inner & outer

I'll try to expand on each of them more later as I determine specific goals and action items within them. But it's a start anyway.

I'm very much looking forward to 2013. I have lots of hopes and aspirations for 2013. It is going to be a good year, I can feel it.

What are your goals for 2013?

~A

Coming clean...

2012-12-31T15:39:00.000-05:00

I've had another bout of no-blogging-itis. I had a lot on my mind and was swirling about and ultimately went back and forth and just didn't prioritize blogging.

But I think I'm back again. Well, hopefully anyway.

I've alluded to something that's been going on in my life in quite a few posts in the past few months. I've circled around it. I've implied it. But I've never actually admitted it. I think I'm ready.

I'm getting divorced.

Yes, it's happening. It was my decision. My choice. But that hasn't made it any easier to deal with.

I feel like a huge failure. I feel awful for hurting loved ones. I feel horrible that my daughter and my marriage is now just another statistic. Honestly, in the short term - it completely sucks.

But I had to think of the long term. I wasn't happy. I wasn't reaching my potential. I take the blame. I take the fault.

Long term I want to be happy. And it's important to me that my daughter sees me as a strong female role model who shows her how to be happy and achieve her dreams. That's what is important to me right now.

So please be patient with me while I try to pick up the pieces of my life. I'm trying to do the best I can with what I have. I'll try to blog about it when I can. But we will see.

So, now that proverbially the elephant in the room has been talked about, perhaps I will feel like I can move on and talk more about what's going on with me and how I'm continuing to try to be a fitter mommy.

Here's wishing everyone a wonderful 2013! Farewell to 2012!

~A

I am thankful for....popcorn

2012-11-27T21:44:00.000-05:00

I LOVE popcorn. It brings me comfort. I love the texture. I love the taste. I love it almost anyway.

I consume far more popcorn than the average person. I can just eat and eat and eat more of it.

Thankfully it isn't the worst food in the world for me I guess since I do not load it with butter. Usually I just like it with spices.

So yummy!

What is your comfort food?

~A

I am thankful for....cyber Monday deals

2012-11-27T21:35:00.000-05:00

I am usually not a huge cyber Monday shopper and its been close to a decade since I went out on black Friday. This year however I found a deal I really could not turn down. I really want to do an obstacle course 5k in 2013 and low and behold like a sign, there was a deal for a 2013 race. Guess who is officially signed up for Warrior Dash 2013?

This girl!

September 21, 2013.

I am excited, scared, anxious, ecstatic....so much. Scary to book so far in advance but damn it I need to start doing the things I want to but have been afraid to in the past.

Did you get any good cyber Monday deals?

~A

I am thankful for...reading

2012-11-27T21:25:00.000-05:00

I took a couple days off again to unplug and I did a lot of reading. I had a very rough week last week and I think I may have hot the emotional equivalent of rock bottom (at least I hope anyway...I can not imagine much worse!).

So to cope, I did a huge amount of reading this weekend both on my own and with the Little.

I read "The Road", "City of Bones", & "Born to Run". I also read a couple magazines I had sitting around that I had not had a chance to get to.

The Little & I did lots of reading together as well. She is currently loving the Little Critter books which is fun.

I personally love reading since it transports me to another place. I love also showing my baby that reading can be so fun.

Have you read any good books lately?

~A

I am thankful for....farmers

2012-11-24T21:58:00.000-05:00

I am lucky enough to live in a rural area with plenty of farm country. Add to that the fact that I was born and raised a country girl. Result - I appreciate the hard work it takes to put a meal on the table.

As part of my effort to shop local, I supported a local far, I love by buying my winter supply of ground beef. I love the fact that you can drive by the cows, see them happily grazing in the fields. I am by mo means a vegetarian, although I am trying to eat less meat these days, but I do want to make sure that the meat I eat came from animals that were treated as humanely as possible and that they got a chance to live.

So I drive past the fields of happily grazing cows to a local farm stand and purchase locally raised beef. And its deliciously awesome and priced better than it is at the big box market. It was $4.99/lb and its very lean....probably like 90-95%. Plus this weekend it was $5 off $50, so I bought 10 pounds to stock up and save a few dollars.

I am thankful for the farmers in our area and that they provide food for us. I am also thankful that I know how to garden and grow some of my own food thanks to my family.

~A

I am thankful for...traditions

2012-11-23T22:13:00.002-05:00

Today the Little and I set up our Christmas tree. I am starting this as our Christmas tradition.

I decided to surprise her and I set up the tree while she was napping. I let her nap on the couch and set up the tree in the living room right behind her while she slept. I took her a while to notice the tree when she woke up, but when she did, she was sooooo excited. It was definitely my favorite moment of the day!

She kept saying things like, "Mommy, there's a Christmas tree in the living room. It's magic. It is so pretty!"

So today I am thankful for traditions with my family. They keep us grounded and remind us of the things that really matter in life.

What traditions do you have?

~A

I am thankful for...Thanksgiving

2012-11-22T22:04:00.001-05:00

Thanksgiving this year had so many emotions for me. It was especially meaningful. I have really been reminded lately of the things I should be thankful for. So I am thankful for Thanksgiving this year to bring me back to center.

It has also been wonderful seeing so many others around me expressing their gratitude.

No matter how conventional (or unconventional) your day was, I hope you had a wonderful holiday!

My little says, "It is Happy Birthday Turkey Day today." Good thing we were unconventional and had spaghetti and meatballs right?

What memories from today make you smile?

~A

I am thankful for...days off blogging

2012-11-22T21:55:00.001-05:00

Yep, I did not post yesterday. I took a day off. And I am thankful for that. I did other things instead and they helped my mental state immensely. So I will double up on my thankful posts today.

What?!? Are you the blog police or something?

~A

I am thankful for...sleep

2012-11-20T22:20:00.000-05:00

I have trouble sleeping a lot. I do not think that will be the case tonight. It has been a rough few days for me and I am exhausted. Heading to bed now. I am thankful for sleep today!

~A

I am thankful for...my Little

2012-11-19T21:27:00.001-05:00

Today I am so very thankful for my little. I love her more than words can describe. On especially tough days like today, sometimes thinking of her is what helps me through. So much of what I do is for her. She means the world to me. My G - Momma loves you!!!

~A

I am thankful for...movies

2012-11-18T22:23:00.001-05:00

The Little and I watched 'Sofia the First" on Disney channel tonight when it premiered. It was a pretty cute movie, but the best part was that she watched almost all of it and we cuddled and giggled. It was so sweet. I am thankful for movies I can watch with my Little so I have moments like this to cherish.

Watched any good movies lately?

~A

I am thankful for...cinnamon

2012-11-17T21:52:00.000-05:00

I love cinnamon in its various forms. Some of my favorite uses are in coffee, peanut butter toast, candy, and in smoothies. I very recently found a box of Hot Tamale candies at the store - so yummy! They are my favorite!

Lucky for me, cinnamon is also good for you (I know probably not in the hot tamale form as much as the ground cinnamon form, but cut a sister a break!). I have read some reports that it stifles appetite and helps your body metabolize sugar more efficiently. Sounds good to me.

Mostly though, I am just thankful for the smell and taste. It has such a comforting effect on me.

Do any spices have this effect on you?

~A

I am thankful for...socks

2012-11-16T21:54:00.001-05:00

Socks? I know...and yes I am thankful for socks. Especially new socks. My feet have a tendency to get cold, and socks help tremendously. So today I am thankful for my comfy socks that also keep my feet warm and serve as good sock puppets for fun.

What are your thoughts on socks?

~A

I am thankful for...giggles

2012-11-15T21:59:00.000-05:00

Had quite the gigglefest with the Little tonight and it made me so thankful for the moment. We took turns spinning each other in our spinning chair....smiles turned to laughs, which became giggles, and culminated in belly laughs. I swear, there is nothing like toddler laughs! You have to feel happy when you see a toddler laugh! I am thankful for those moments.

~A

I am thankful for...music

2012-11-14T22:19:00.001-05:00

I have been listening to more music of late than I typically have in the past and it made me realize how much I appreciate it. It can change your mood, help you cope, give you energy, or just make you smile.

I am making quite the random list of songs I want to download. I will admit, I have quite the interesting tastes in music, but I am not a music connoisseur by any means. And I can not for the life of me remember music trivia for my life. Oh well. I enjoy it nonetheless.

What songs ate you digging right now?

~A

I am thankful for...sunshine

2012-11-13T22:11:00.003-05:00

Sunshine makes so many things better. I got to sit in the sun for a few minutes with a friend today (Hi J!) and just enjoy the natural light and pleasant company. As the days get shorter, it's especially nice to take a few minutes and just appreciate the sunshine and what it can provide. I'm thankful for the sunshine, despite not always having time to appreciate it.

For the longest when the Little was a baby, I'd sing "You are my Sunshine" to her each night. I loved singing it - it always reminds me of my Grandma. The Little apparently doesn't share the same affinity for the song as I do yet though...in time perhaps, in time.

When was the last time you sat and enjoyed the sunshine for a few minutes?

~A

I am thankful for....strength

2012-11-12T21:00:00.000-05:00

I am not going to lie...today was a rough day for so many reasons....cranky toddler, finding out some hard truths, and just general weird things happening (like getting a door to the eye socket...hopefully I do not get a black eye tomorrow).

At so many moments today did I get down and out and think of giving up...but I dug down deep and found my inner strength and relied on some brute force strength (plus some kind words and encouragement from friends reminding me I am indeed a strong person and a good person), and I persevered.

Today I am thankful for physical, internal, and emotional strength to help carry us through rough seas. Whether you discover it yourself, have others around you to remind you, or a guiding force that gives you what you need - however you stay strong, be thankful that you can. Tough times mean good times are ahead I believe...a test to make sure you are ready.

Where do you find strength?

~A

I am thankful for...Indian summer days

2012-11-11T21:00:00.000-05:00

We have an uncharacteristically warm day today for a New England November day. It was in the 60's! I am very thankful for one more day to enjoy the wonderful outdoors.

So we took advantage!

First we went to the playground on a play date. An hour and a half later after lots of swinging, sliding, running, and general play we were pretty tuckered out.

But it was just so nice. So we went to the local trail (part of the East Coast Greenway) and walked close to 1.5 miles outside.

Then we headed to Bakers Dozen where we enjoyed a coffee treat (me) and a strawberry sprinkle donut (the Little).

Then we headed out, and the Little promptly fell asleep - nap time!!

I was lucky enough to be able to sneak out during the Little's nap to go for a run (thanks to a baby sitter! I am not that type of unfit mommy!). I have been eyeing the sports field track at my local school so I headed there.

Perfect temps for a run! And it was getting cooler as I started the run. I did not set a distance or pace, just ran. And it felt so good! At one point I held my arms out and felt like I was flying. I have not had a run as enjoyable in quite some time.

I think my Nike+ did not like my off track running at some points because each lap was a different distance, but in the end Nike+ said I did 3.26 miles in 31'06". I think it was closer to 3.5 miles or more.

But what mattered most was the feeling. The thankfulness for the moment.

Then I returned home to spend another wonderful night with my Little.

Perfect day. Thanks to an Indian summer day.

~A

Thank you to our Veterans & military personnel

2012-11-11T20:02:00.001-05:00

Happy Veterans Day!

Please take a moment to think of everything we have today thanks to our veterans and military personnel. One day is not enough to honor all the things you all do or have done for our country.

Thank you - we can never repay the debt we owe you!

~A

I am thankful for...bedtime

2012-11-10T21:27:00.000-05:00

I love my new bedtime routine with my little. She has just recently started liking longer stories, so each night we have been reading two by flashlight...mostly Dr. Seuss beginner books or some of the Little Critter series. She really likes The Little Critter books...especially "All By Myself" and "When I Get Bigger."

After we read the stories, the book goes out of bed, and the flashlight gets shut off. Then I ask her what song she wants me to sing her and it has been "The Wheels on the Bus" for quite some time. So I sing all the verses.

Them begins the tuck in ritual. Some cuddling and eskimo kisses. them she chooses the blankets for the night. Then I tuck her in - wishing her sweet dreams, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite...kiss her forehead, hugs, eskimo kisses, real kisses, and she returns my wishes and I love yous. Then I turn on her fan and leave the room to watch her fall asleep on the monitor.

Usually takes 15 minutes for the ritual and another 10-15 until she falls asleep. I cherish thus time though. Such sweet, innocent love. The cuddling, the sweetness. I am so thankful for each night I have her.

Whats your bedtime routine look like?

~A

I am thankful for...hugs

2012-11-09T22:16:00.001-05:00

Along the lines of yesterday's post, I am thankful for hugs. I will confess...I am a hugger. I restrain myself quite a bit unless I know someone well because I do not want to offend anyone...but I love giving and receiving hugs. So comforting, so caring. Its communication without words in my opinion.

Who was the last person to hug you? Who did you last hug?

Lucky me, it is the same person...My little G. She is such a good hugger.

~A

I am thankful for...smiles

2012-11-08T21:23:00.002-05:00

Smiles on those who love you or even the smile from a stranger can make even the worst day slightly better in my opinion. So that's why I am thankful for smiles. Especially when you are having a rough time or when you see someone you have not seen in a while (understanding a while is relative depending on the someone!).

I try to smile as often as I can...even when I do not feel like smiling and especially when smiling is the last thing on my mind. I think a smile can transform your day...maybe its yours or maybe it is someone else's...who knows....but a smile can put you on the path to "being the change you wish to see in the world."

What makes you smile?

~A

I am thankful for....getting home in bad weather

2012-11-07T22:01:00.000-05:00

As if Sandy was not enough, New England is now getting hit with a nor'easter. I had heard it would be rain...do not worry. But alas by 1 PM today it was snowing...and continued to do so (still is now at 10 PM by the way). So I headed out of work a little early hoping to avoid rush hour traffic with bad weather. The roads were awful! Slippery, icy, not treated.but I kept my head, drove slowly, prepared for hills and turns far in advance, and did everything I could to be safe.

And I made it to daycare fine to pick up my little. And then I made it safely home. So what if it took twice as long as normal - I am just thankful to be home.

At which point my little wanted to play in the snow...so I quickly proposed bringing some inside in a big bowl so she could play inside, away from the elements. She loved it. I loved watching her. :)

How do you make the most of bad weather?

~A

PS - my thoughts are with the Sandy victims who are still without power and are facing the elements. It has been wonderful to see people helping their neighbors, and I hope everyone found someone who could help them stay safe and warm during the storm.

I am thankful for...books

2012-11-06T21:30:00.000-05:00

I am so thankful for books. I love books. I have for as long as I can remember. They make me happy, give me advice, teach me things, and transport me to far away places when I need to escape. I am hoping to transfer that love of books to my little. We read together every might and anytime during the day when she asks me. I love reading with my G.

I have been reading a lot lately. On top of my ever growing blog roll in my Google Reader, I have gotten into books lately. Even listening to books on CD in the car. I just stopped by the library today and picked up five books I requested.

Here is what I am reading right now:

Book on CD:
"Under the Dome" by Stephen King.

Books from the library:
"Tiny Beautiful Things" by Cheryl Strayed
"Born to Run" by Christopher McDougall
"Mean Moms Rule" by Denise Schipani
"City of Bones" by Cassandra Clare

Book I own:
"The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin (I have been reading this book for a while...its so good and inspiring I can usually only read a chapter at a time)

I have quite the varied mix of books I am reading. Different interests, topics, and genres. I historically kept track of them via Pinterest, Amazon Wishlists, and draft emails to myself. Recently a friend introduced me to the Good Reads app (its also a website: http://goodreads.com). I am slowly transitioning to it.it keeps track of what I have read, am reading, and want to read. Cool stuff.

I can't wait to dive into the Cheryl Strayed book tonight!

What are you reading now? Whats on your reading list?

~A