A Swiftly Tilting Planet

Move!

2012-02-28T14:42:00.000+08:00

Salam.

I'm moving this blog to http://shafiaharnoor.blogspot.com/ because Blogger won't let me add my gmail email to this account (because every gmail is a google account and you can't have two google accounts ie this one that was registered under my yahoo and the gmail account I initially wanted to transfer this blog to). So the only way around it is to simply create a new blog under my gmail and export the posts from this blog to that other blog. Which means that I will have two separate accounts. I hate how they won't let me just transfer this blog to another account but then again that's probably because of safety reasons. Therefore this blog will no longer be in use and this account will be deleted 2 months from now.

Why am I so obsessed over moving everything to my gmail? Because yahoo won't let me sync my e-mail with anything but my phone unless if I pay for the USD 20 / year premium account and I have everything else (contacts, calendars, tasks, notes) synced to my gmail so there's no longer any serious use of the old yahoo account. In your face, yahoo.

Pop Ups

2012-02-28T12:07:00.001+08:00

Salam.

I was casually (perlu lah) reading The Star Online when I realized that the page will work better with a pop up of the article people choose to read. That way you don't have to navigate back to the main page ie The Star Online: Nation, or The Star Online: Business. Of course it is possible to just right click and 'Open in new window' but we're talking about ease of use here so..

Calculus

2012-02-27T23:35:00.000+08:00

Salam.

I just realized how crappy my blog layout was. I remember now that I never finished editing the layout. However, as you can clearly see that is no longer the case. I chose a template and did nothing to it. Now I have links I don't think are necessary but I'm too old to actually go through this and figure out a way of removing or replacing them with more relevant links. This is definitely something Blogger should look into, ie making template editing more user friendly. I regret starting a new blog because the old layout worked well with me and I invested at least an hour in personalizing the free template to my needs >__<

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I realized a few days ago that I need at least Calculus 1 and 2 in my transcript, either Bachelor's or Master's, to even consider applying for an Econ PhD program. It's the minimum requirements for the American-like programs. That's unless if I want to limit myself to Malaysian and UK (except for LSE which is American-like) programs. Which I am not quite keen on. Admittedly, even if I complete my Master's Degree and am able to secure a spot in the program, there's still the issue of funding. Still, let's worry about that when we get there. That has always been my motto. Which is why I never paid attention to PhD programs before. I consider this a blessing, imagine going through everything and finding out that you're not qualified to even apply for PhD AFTER completing your Master's =O

The reason why I want to prepare myself for the American structure (which basically covers Canada, Australia and New Zealand, not so much on the latter) is because I like the structure better (more specialized towards equipping students to become researchers) as opposed to the programs offered locally and those offered in the UK (more towards practical use of economics in the private and public sector). The downside is the heavier reliance on mathematics of the American program, and, unfortunately, the minimal reliance on mathematics that the local system offers (for both undergraduate and postgraduate programs in Economics!!).

I've quickly read through the courses required for local undergraduate Economics programs in Malaysia and generally speaking there are only two programs which meets the entry requirements for sound PhD programs: UKM and USM's Maths-Econs. I know, there's no point going through undergrad programs considering the fact that I'm over that stage. Still it's best to warn prospective economists out there.

Calculus 1 & 2, Differential Equations and Linear Algebra are supposed to be covered in BEcs, but I guess Malaysians are not very keen to study Maths when you're doing an "Arts course". Which proves to be problematic to people like me, who did their undergrad and postgrad in a local institution (which also explains why it's harder for us to understand postgrad-level economics as compared to foreign students or locals who did their undergrad overseas).

So there are a few ways around this. One is to take up the four aforementioned courses externally, but this is the most expensive option as this can only be done through foreign institutions (totaling up to RM20,000). The second option is to take up another Master's Degree this time in Mathematics which is the most time consuming option, yet it is the safest so far, acts as a net to make up for my poor performance in MEc. Third is similar to the first one but through local institutions, the availability of which is up to my bargaining skills and the rules and regulations of the institutions (not counting on this though, I doubt any institution in Malaysia offers this service). Last option, which is what I am currently hoping for, is to take up undergraduate mathematics Engineering courses in IIUM. I can confirm that auditing these classes is well within my right but I don't know if they'll let me actually take the classes. It has been done before by Kakak Basikal, but during her undergrad where we can actually take these courses as electives (my bad for not looking into PhD requirements earrrllieerrrr).

I'm rooting for option four while saving for option one and keeping option two as a back up. If option three were available that'd be awesome but I'm not counting on it, still I will look further into it.

Now if I knew that the real world is this hard, I would've taken MSc in Maths straight away while skipping MEc. Why? Because with my background it's better for me to focus directly in strengthening (or creating, considering there's absolutely nothing to strengthen) my maths rather than econs. Which is why, I guess some of my undergraduate batch-mates went into MSc in Maths and Applied Statistics (should've asked them their plans earlier!).

Oh well, right now all I can do is try to make sure all the minimal requirements (MEc being the major one, undergrad maths courses and GRE InsyaAllah after MEc) are set and only then can I try getting into an Econ PhD program and only if I am able to secure admission will I be able to stress over funding. Wish me luck! The most important thing is to remember to want the PhD program (will stop trying if I decide I no longer want it, which will eventually lead to regret if I suddenly realize 10 years from now that I want a PhD, so better be safe than sorry) and to not fall in love and get married. 2016 is a long way to go.

2nd Chance

2012-01-31T03:05:00.002+08:00

Salam.

I admit the title of this post is annoying. It's very, unlike me, in a manner I can't quite explain. Yet that is exactly what this is about. Second chances. Alhamdulillah, I made it through the first semester. On to the second one. This time I need to make it count. Microeconomics have, surprisingly (surprising because it's Microeconomics, the final exam was so hard I'm surprised I didn't end up with a C), made a dent on my CGPA. I need to fix that in order to actually graduate with a Master's degree. InsyaAllah this time will be better.

I have quitted my part time job and might or might not be doing something else next sem. Being an RA is hard because you can't really work on your own time and they don't pay you on time. Only after 4-6 months. I'm planning to work in a bookstore instead as they offer employee discounts and you can plan your working hours in advance and most importantly no late night text messages giving you assignments with a 24 hours deadline. Sure, beggars can't be choosers but my aim is to complete my studies, not work. Working is just a means to paying my car fuel. Actual work can wait until September when I finish my coursework InsyaAllah.

I'm also thinking of signing up for the gym again. I need and miss that a lot. Early mornings in the gym helps to straighten the day out. However, that depends on my finances. My fund is running out after the phone purchase and I'm still waiting for my 4 months wage from PSPTN to get cleared. I honestly hate them for this. I've been forking out money for car maintenance out of the wrong account because of them.

Oh well let's pray for that to fall into place soon. Here's to a new semester with better time, money and emotion management. Amin.

..can't believe I've a personal blog at this age. But writing is very therapeutic, helps me put things into perspective. Lessens the number of emotional breakdowns. And oh my father's planning to take up the Diploma in Islamic Studies program offered by IIUM which I am praying with all my heart that he sticks to. Who knows, he might end up doing a PhD if he goes through with this. Formal learning is one of those things that one should never stop pursuing. >___<

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Little Pieces of the Nothing that Falls

2012-01-12T11:45:00.002+08:00

Salam.

And so I downloaded Blogger-Droid, a Blogger app for Androids. A Samsung Galaxy Note, one of those not-so-little things that I can't help but be grateful for other than the room I am living in, the car I am driving, the food that I eat and the chance to just be here. These things have helped me a lot. I can't believe how much the car have contributed during my lonesome stay in KL these past few months. The downside of not having a lot of friends.

With the subject matter of 'masters' being mentioned, I can't help but announce that I have unofficially failed my first semester. Leaving me with only one chance left to fail. The fall however is surprisingly not due to Econometrics but Microeconomics (with a high probability of failing Economic Development too). I simply cannot meet the 70% needed to pass. My carry marks was 42%, a very comfortable rate if I were doing my undergrad. However the passing mark is no longer 50% and my bad performance during the final exam made it very close to impossible to pass.

Goodbye trade, it was nice to be able to tap into your area. With the fall of this semester I am no longer allowed to take Economic Development, a pre-requisite to specializing in Trade and Development. I have yet to make up my mind on what area to pursue next. It is either Financial Economics (not the same as finance that deals with corporate finance, this is more on the macro side of finance which talks of interest rates, government deficit and so on) or Islamic Economics (which I am not very keen of due to the very heavy reliance on philosophy, something that I simply cannot master).

Turth be told I am very tired of the judgemental remarks I've received over my choice of field (specifically regarding it not being Islamic Economics per se). Admittedly these events are isolated but they still attract the attention of my inner bitch. The reason why I've been preferring trade over IE is because I simply do not have the intellectual capacity to contribute to the macroeconomics of IE. And yes, Islamic finance may be your field of interest but I cannot imagine myself going into microeconomics.

Still, thank you for believing that I can contribute to that highly complicated area of study. It is nonetheless a compliment that I, unfortunately, hope to hear no more in the future.

And so, the soul searching continues. I believe that I have failed this semester because my heart was never in the right place to begin with. The bitterness over my father's decision for me to continue my studies straight away was carried with me on my first day of returning to IIUM. Indeed that is very childish but once you start a journey on the wrong foot it is bound to end ugly. And when I finally came around to my senses it was already too late to make a difference. I promised myself I will realign my focus with my fate and make it through next semester. There is afterall, always a reason and a part to play which is bigger than one's dreams and wants.

Forgive my style of writing, I am feeling very English today (and the errors as I have no spell-checker).

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The Parting Glass

2011-07-25T01:40:00.003+08:00

But since it falls unto my lot,
That I should rise and you should not,
I gently rise and softly call,
Good night and joy be with you all.