cup a joe

Restarting the restart

2024-04-10T11:11:00.003-05:00

Once upon a time, blogging was the cool thing to do. You weren't a post modern / gen x church planter unless you had a blog. And so, twenty-one years ago, I started this. This was my one of my first posts in early May, 2003:

Hi, my name is Joe Holda and this is my blog! My wife Cindy and I are simple church planters here in DeKalb, Illinois (actually, we live in Sycamore, but that’s another story). I thought I would start this blog to attempt to keep track of the trials and tribulations in the planting of a church. I hope that in time, this little bog will turn into God’s story of what he is doing with us, as well as miscellaneous thoughts and ramblings on what it means to be a Christ follower in the 21st century. Idle thoughts about community, leadership, church and relationships are sure to be plentiful.

So as the title of the blog goes, feel free to sit back and enjoy a cup a joe with me while, with the help of the Holy Spirit, we stumble through this thing called life. Enjoy!

Cindy and I were young, adventurous, and idealistic church planters. We felt we had a calling from God. And while we knew it would be challenging, we figured that since God had called us here, the challenges would be minimal, or at least easily overcome. Like I said, idealistic.

Saying the last twenty-one years have been challenging is an understatement. The challenges and issues that we've dealt with have been far greater - and more costly - then we could have ever imagined. But, we're still here. I've been told that Cindy and I have the gift of perseverance. While I love all of the gifts God has given us, I wish he would have given that one to someone else.

Almost four years ago, I posted that I was going to start this blog up again. Four years ago we were in the early stages of COVID lock downs. We all though that we'd get through this - that we'd be at the other side of this after Easter. Or after the summer. Or after the second wave. Or after the election. Remember those days? God had just blessed us with a building. After wandering in the desert for nearly a decade, moving from one temporary location to another, we finally had a place to call home. God's hand had moved. There were prophetic words, and signs, and breakthroughs. We closed on the building on March 1, 2020. This was a new beginning. The church had momentum and was growing. This new space was going to re-launch us. And then - everything stopped.

We made it thought the first wave unscathed. But then, the bleeding started. People moved away. People got mad. People simply disappeared. We had an outbreak in our church right after we celebrated it's 25th birthday in late October, 2020. We were forced to shut down because all leadership team got sick. We didn't re-open until after Christmas. But very few returned.

How do you define the gift of perseverance? Simple: when God gives you lemons, you make lemon-aid. An opportunity presented itself to be apart of several learning cohorts sponsored by Multiply Vineyard and NewThing. We brought a team to the first meeting, only to discover that we were the smallest church in the cohort. At times I wondered why they let us in. We were small an inconsequential - barely on life-support. However, by that point we had nothing to lose. So we threw ourselves into it. We learned as much as we could and tried everything. We figured that God had given us a blank piece of paper and invited us to re-imagine with Him what the Vineyard in DeKalb could look like. We've been on this journey for over two years. And this Sunday, we rolling out and implementing much of what we discovered and learned.

Because of all that, it felt like this might be a good time to reboot this blog. I have absolutely no expectations that anyone will actually read it. Blogging is so early 2000's. But I felt like the Lord was challenging me to document what we're doing - and this seemed like as good of a place as any to do that. And so, it is my hope and prayer to start writing again and perhaps actually accomplish my original goal: to tell the story of what God is doing in and through us in the Vineyard Church DeKalb.

If you've stumbled across this - welcome. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions. I don't consider us in any way to be experts in any of this. We're just trying to follow and obey the leading of Jesus.

Seventeen Years Ago...

2020-06-07T22:28:00.000-05:00

I started this blog seventeen years ago - May 7, 2003. It's hard to believe that it's been that long. I was 34 years old and Cindy and I just moved back to Illinois to plant a church - or so we thought. Back then, blogging was the hip and cool thing to do and every Gen X church planter that I knew did it. It was the way we shared ideas and had conversations. We knew that we were entering into the unknown. We kept hearing about post-modernism and how it would affect the church. We wanted to wrestle with the unknown and see where God would take us.

That was 195 posts ago. Most of those early bloggers are long gone. We don't wrestle with issues using long form prose any more, nor do we debate. Instead, we throw out sound bites or snarky one-liners and expect it to somehow change the world. It would be easy to complain about how things have changed - but the reality is that when everyone else stopped writing, so did I. It's been two years since I wrote last - and that was only a one and done. In reality, it's been almost eight years since I wrote regularly.

I'm feeling it's time to dust off the keyboard and start writing again. The world feels like it's spinning out of control. I don't have the answers, but I feel like I want to be a part of the conversation. Seventeen years ago I started this blog with a single sentence. It feels appropriate to revisit where it all started.

So here it begins...again.

And so begins the journey…

2018-01-04T10:53:00.000-06:00

It’s been quiet around here for the past couple of years. It’s hard to believe that it has been five years since my last post. The past five years have been stressful to say the least. However, there is no need to rehash the past—as someone told me earlier this morning—December is so “last year.” The same is true for life since my previous posts.

As this is the beginning of a new year, it is probably time to make some decisions about what I want to focus on from this point forward. First, I want to—no, perhaps I need to—start writing more. This may seem funny, especially due to my silence over the past five years (not just here, but most other forms of social media as well), but I really enjoy writing. The problem is that not doing it for the past five years has made me rusty. I figure the only way to overcome that is to do it. This may be painful at first (for me as the writer, and, perhaps, for you as the reader), but bear with me. In time, hopefully, it will get better. My prayer is that over the next several months, this blog will become active again. I want to start posting my thoughts like I did in the past, but I also want to try my hand at short story writing. As the header of this blog states, it will probably get messy around here.

Secondly, it’s time to get healthy again. When I say that, I don’t just mean physically. One thing that I have discovered over the past five years is a more holistic understanding of health. While physically I need to get healthier (what I eat, when I exercise, losing weight, etc.), I also need to get healthier emotionally, spiritually, and financially. All of those factors affect my well-being. I’m not sure what is required in this journey to “health”, but I’m pretty sure I will be journaling about it here.

Finally, the word for me this year is “engage.” The lack of writing on this blog has been a symptom of the disengagement that has defined my life over the past five years. Fear is a tremendous jailor. It is time to shake off the shackles of fear and re-engage in my community, as a husband, as a father, as a pastor, as a member of several boards, and as simply a human being. Once again, I’m pretty sure I will be journaling about that journey here.

As Pope Francis has said, “Life is a journey. When we stop, things don’t go right.” I guess it’s time to start the journey again.

Perhaps it's time to start writing again...

2018-01-03T14:14:00.000-06:00

One week out...

2012-12-12T10:40:00.000-06:00

It's been a week since I left the retreat. Life is starting up and I'm beginning to enter my routine. I didn't preach last week, so I'm trying to get re-engaged this week. I left thinking about the importance of rhythm and how I needed to make sure that rhythm was still in my life. One week later and I'm discovering that keeping rhythm is harder then I thought.

We did a Sabbath on Monday. We turned off all of our devices - our phone, our computers and our TV. It was a lot harder then I thought it would be (especially for the kids). Doing the office this week has been spotty at best - mostly because our schedules as a family have not come into line. I think my kids think mom and dad are just being weird and that we will get over it. I'm hoping that we create something that will take them forward into the rest of their lives. The true test of all this will be on Friday when Emily comes home from school. I'm not sure how she is going to handle Mondays - her phone is permanently attached to her!

So I'm sitting here in Starbucks this morning thinking about where we go from here. I have fresh vision for both the church and my family - but some of the same anxieties and insecurities are creeping back in. I can see the long term plan, it's just how to get there that is frightening to me. So what do I do next? I need to preach this week, but it's not all there yet. What do I say to them? How do I articulate what God has done for me? How does one explain rhythm?

Attractional vs Incarnational

2012-12-08T16:15:00.000-06:00

Ponder this for a moment:

Nonetheless, when we say it is a flaw for the church to be attractional, we refer more to the stance the church takes in its community. By anticipation that if they get their internal features right, people will flock to the services, the church betrays its belief in attractionalism. It's like the Kevin Costner character in the film Field of Dreams being told by the disembodied voice, "If you build it, they will come." How much of the traditional church's energy goes into adjusting their programs and their public meetings to cater to an unseen constituency? If we get our seating, our parking, our children's program, our preaching, and our music right, they will come. This assumes that we have a place in our society and that people don't join our churches because, though they want to be Christians, they're unhappy with the product. The missional church recognizes that it does not hold a place of honor in its host community and that its missional imperative compels it to move out from itself into the host community as salt and light. (Shaping of Things to Come, The Innovation and Mission for the 21st-Century Church. Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch)

I've been told that if I only get my systems right, we would grow and be relevant. The assumption is that we are small because we don't know what we are doing. The reality is that we are small because we do not have the budget / staff / facility / programs that the one large church in our town has so as to successfully compete for the discerning Christian consumer. But is that who we are supposed to grow a church with? My soccer friends don't care about our systems. They think the church is hypocritical and bigoted. So to reach them do I need to do the same thing that all the churches do - the things that they don't care about? Or instead, do I need to figure out a way to be salt and light to them? The same hard truth hits us here in DeKalb. Most of the people in this town don't care for anything that the church has to offer. If they did, then they would be in church. Our witness is irrelevant to them. Because of that, we have made Jesus irrelevant to them. An irrelevant Jesus - that is a pretty scary thought.

If we really wanted to be followers of Jesus, we would go to the place that he hung out at. We would do the things that he did. Jesus went to where the people were - he didn't wait for them to come to him. Think about how Paul describes Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross! (Philippians 2:6-8 NIV)

So what would it look like if we took the same attitude about the lost? We find comfort in the church. We like the safe comfortable culture that we are apart of. But what if we were willing to become uncomfortable so that others might find Jesus. What if we became uncomfortable so as to became salt and light? What would our lives look like? What who the church look like? Now that's something to really ponder...

Rhythm

2012-12-07T11:46:00.000-06:00

It's been quiet around here for the past two weeks. Cindy and I have been away on retreat. We spent ten days in the Texas hill country at a retreat center with several other Vineyard pastors and leaders. The place was remote - so remote that the nearest "town" was about 20 miles away. So remote that we were about an hour away form the nearest cell tower. Talk about unplugging. Ten days without a phone. Ten days with limited e-mail. Ten days with little contact to the outside world. In an environment like that, things finally start to quiet down in your mind and you can start to hear God again.

The days were simple. Wake up at seven. Get showered and dressed. Grab a cup of coffee and head to morning prayer. A small group of us would pray the office every morning at eight. At eight fifteen, the bell would ring and we would eat breakfast as a community. Worship at nine, a teaching and then a story. The bell would ring at noon - lunch as a community. A time of solitude and silence from one till one thirty. The rest of the afternoon was free - meet with someone or not. Read, walk, canoe, sleep... whatever. At Five forty five the bell would ring again - dinner as a community. Another story at seven and then evening prayer at nine thirty with the same small group as in the morning. After that - perhaps a fire, or to sleep. Then repeat. Sunday was free to do whatever.

After a while, a rhythm begins. And within that rhythm God speaks, ministers and heals. As the week went on I began to realize how out of rhythm I had become and that it was affecting every area of my life. My marriage, my family, my ministry....my entire life. Ten days later and the rhythm seems to be back, at least in Cindy and I.

We picked the kids up yesterday. By the end of the day I was longing for that thirty minutes of solitude and silence. They are not in rhythm. I'm guessing that the church isn't in rhythm either. I figure I have a choice. I can either throw away these past ten days and return to what I was or I can teach what I have learned and try to get the other areas in my life into God's rhythm. Needless to say, I'm going to do the later.

So what is that going to look like? Our family is going to start praying the office together daily - morning and evening. We will do times of silence and solitude. And we will keep a true Sabbath (Mondays). No phones, no computers. Some time with God in the morning and then time together as a family. Extended time off once a year and a true short retreat for Cindy and I once a year as well. The church is a little more complicated - but God is faithful. I figure it will take some time, but I think it will be well worth it.

I'm going to try and journal this journey into rhythm here. I know that part of the temptation as a reader of blogs is to read and move on. I want to challenge all of you out there to take some time and find God's rhythm in your life. Stop everything for a moment and be still - you will be amazed and what God wants to say.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2012-11-22T07:43:00.002-06:00

A Thanksgiving gift for you.....

"As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly....."

Have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!

Tech Support

2012-11-15T23:02:00.004-06:00

Couple of interesting computer articles in New Zealand PC World this evening:

First, 28 pieces of computing advice that stands the test of time:

But just because computers are one big exercise in evolutionary progress, that doesn't mean certain computing maxims ever go out of style. Take, for example, the nuggets of wisdom in the following list. All of these things are as true today as they were 2, 5, and in some cases even 10 or 20 years ago.

Second, How (and why) to surf the web in secret:

They say no one can hear you scream in space, but if you so much as whisper on the web, you can be tracked by a dozen different organisations and recorded for posterity. Simply visiting a website can allow its operators to figure out your general physical location, identify details about your device information, and install advertising cookies that can track your movements around the web. (Don't believe me? Check this out.)

Pop Christian

2012-11-15T09:57:00.000-06:00

I'm thinking about starting a new feature here on this blog celebrating (well, perhaps not celebrating) Pop Christianity.

So, what do you do when the you know that the tithe is down and you need to preach on giving? You make a video!

Hmmmm...words really can't describe it....

Privacy on the internet

2012-11-15T08:47:00.000-06:00

Interesting article this morning over at CNN. The General Petraeus scandal has many of us intrigued by the made for TV movie of it all, but there is one thing that we all are missing. As the article asks, "When the CIA director cannot hide his activities online, what hope is there for the rest of us?" Here is the quote that got me:

Still, search engines may pose the biggest privacy threat: It's worth noting that when you send an e-mail or post something on Facebook, you usually expect someone else to see it, although maybe not everyone, and probably not the FBI. As John Herrman writes for BuzzFeed, however, search engines such as Google are the ones that know your "real secrets" since it doesn't feel like anyone else would see what you're searching for.
But, because of search, Google "knows the things you wouldn't ask your friends. It knows things you can't ask your spouse. It knows the things you haven't asked your doctor yet. It knows things that you can't ask anyone else and that might not have been asked at all before Google existed," he writes. "Google's servers are a repository of the developed world's darkest and most heartbreaking secrets, a vast closet lined with millions of digital skeletons that, should they escape, would spare nobody."

I guess Big Brother really is watching!
Link

Stylish Baptism

2012-11-14T20:57:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I think I rant too much about how we are missing it in the church. I asked in my last post what the goal of our faith should be. I wondered after I posted it if I was just complaining to complain. But then I saw this:

Boobalicious Baptism - now those are two words that I never thought I would hear together...

HT: Matthew Paul Turner

Goal of our faith

2012-11-14T16:58:00.001-06:00

Cindy and I do discipleship with another couple every Tuesday night via Skype. We use Greg Ogden's book Discipleship Essentials as a spine for our discussion. Last night we were talking about the Holy Spirit and a quote from the book spurred an interesting conversation:

He (the Holy Spirit) constantly turns the spotlight off himself and on the God-man. Any moving of the Spirit, therefore, that does not lead people to Christ is not the moving of the Spirit of God. The passion of the Spirit of God is to make the living Christ the center of our lives.

When something is of the Holy Spirit, it should always point to Jesus. John reminds us of this in 1John 4. Yet, we discussed, that many times we have been a part of things that we assumed were Spirit-filled but did not necessary point to Jesus. They pointed to the gifts, they pointed to a ministry, they pointed to our nation, they pointed to the lost, they pointed to political issues, but not always to Jesus. It was somewhat of a big revelation to our friends that they had been a part of churches where other things then Jesus were the focus. So, what does it mean to have Jesus at the center of our lives, at the center of our churches?

I think somewhere along the way, we have lost focus of what the goal of our faith is supposed to be. If you ask many, they would say the goal of our faith is heaven. Yes, Jesus is in there, we need to cross to get our sins forgiven, but the actual goal is heaven. I've heard people talk about how they will have a country house and a city house in heaven, but never about being with Jesus. But is heaven the goal or are we missing something.

Here is the interesting thing, Jesus didn't talk a lot about heaven. He mentioned it from time to time in different parables, but it wasn't the focus of his preaching. Instead, he was the focus of his preaching. "Come follow me". Even in the end, Jesus' last orders to his disciples were simple - make disciples, be my witnesses, tell them about me. Paul said that all he wanted was to know Christ and the power of his resurrection. Heaven was there, but Jesus was more important.

But what is true for us? What do we ask people we are trying to "lead to the Lord"? Don't we ask them where they are going to go when they die? Isn't it all about the afterlife? "If you don't pray the prayer now, you will burn in hell." Jesus is in there, but he is simply the way to the means - the stairway to heaven. Somewhere along the way, heaven became the goal. Don't believe me? Why then is the fact that we will be worshiping 24/7 something that most people don't look forward to. We preachers threaten our flock that they need to get used to worship here, because we will be doing a lot of it later. If Jesus were the goal of our faith, worship would be a given, not a chore.

Heaven was never meant to be the goal of our faith, Jesus was. Heaven is a distant reality. Because of that we are able to put it off for a bit. Heaven is in the future but my job, my family, my marriage, my stuff, myself - this is all in the present. So we give heaven some time (usually 90 minutes on Sunday) and focus on what is here an now. If our goal is in the distance, it won't become a factor in our present until it becomes closer (why do you think people get serious about their faith during times of illness and death). But Jesus is not a future realty, he is here now in the present. And if Jesus is meant to be the focus of our life and the goal of our faith, then Jesus is supposed to be in my job, in my family, in my marriage, in my stuff, in my life. My friend hit the nail on the head last night about why this is. He said that heaven sells, but Jesus, not so much.

So what would our lives looked like if Jesus, not heaven, were the center of it? What would our churches looked like if we preached Jesus here and now, not heaven in the by and by? I think things would be extremely different - Acts 3:42-47 stuff. And I think people would be interested. Heaven may sell, but it has a limited market and a quick expiration date. Jesus on the other hand, is continually fresh and is relevant everywhere. We just need to chose for ourselves what the goal of our faith is. Heaven or Jesus.

Time

2012-11-13T10:02:00.002-06:00

I saw this quote from Andrew Jones a few months ago and it has really stuck with me:

A lot of new church plants wait until they can run a good worship service before they open up to the public. There is little talk about whether the community has the spiritual depth to receive and disciple newcomers.
It reminded me of some other voices in my life:
One is Bobby Clinton who taught Leadership Theory and Change Dynamics at Fuller Seminary. He said that if you want to figure out how long it will take to bring change in your community, you take your estimate and then double it. And double it again. And that's how long it takes.
Another is my German friend Hans Peter Pache who asks how to build a cathedral. The answer is that you plant an oak grove and in a hundred years you have enough wood to build your cathedral. The rest is simple.

I think that we as pastors need to put stuff into a little context. We tend to feel that success means numbers and growth. I agree that we need to be fruitful, that we need to do something with the talents that Jesus has given us, but I think we miss the concept of time. It doesn't take much time to gather a crowd but it takes time to make disciples. We look at our churches and begin to question ourselves with unrealistic expectations. I remember speaking to a pastor of a new church plant last summer who was apologizing to me that they had only grown to 120 in the past year. I was shocked - only 120? It took Jesus three years to get to 120 and I figure he was probably a bit more gifted then we are! (Heck, one of my favorite passages in the bible is when Jesus preaches a hard message and everyone except the twelve leave (John 6:60-71) - I can relate to that!)

What we need to remember that we are not called to gather a crowd, but to make disciples. That quote above from Hans Peter Pache is spot on. We are not supposed to build a mega church, we are supposed to build a cathedral. Now before you think I'm speaking out of both sides on my mouth, let me explain. A cathedral is big, so big that they are noticeable in the community, they tend to dominate the landscape. In many towns, the cathedral gives that town a sense of identity. As disciples of Jesus, we are supposed to be making a difference in our community. We are supposed to be salt and light. We should be an intrical part of the community, a part of the community's identity - it's DNA. That doesn't happen overnight. That takes time. It is not because of a large gathering, it is because there has been a "transformation of the mind" (Romans 12:2). The cathedral is not about building a big building, a big budget or big numbers. It is about building people, disciplining people, transforming them into "Gospel Planters" that will in turn transform those around them. It's about being salt and light and that takes time.

We had a planning meeting for the church last Sunday that we opened up to the entire church. Our goal was simple, we wanted to get some stuff on the calendar for the next few months (at least until Easter). I didn't know what was going to happen, but I gave them all some guidelines. First, I felt that we needed to focus on five things - prayer, small groups, discipleship, outreach and community. Secondly, there was no budget, whatever we were going to do would have to be done on the cheep. I was hoping for some discussion in each area, but I feared that we would only plan "community" things. I wasn't prepared for what actually happened. Prayer started first. They wanted to bring back the prayer labyrinth and they wanted to do another 24/7 prayer but with multiple churches involved. Someone actually suggested that we do a Daniel fast in January (and the group approved of it.) I was in shock - I hadn't seen this much interest in prayer in a long time. Small groups then multiplied (from one to three) and there was an excitement about doing more discipleship groups. Our youth want to go and scrub toilets for a servant evangelism outreach (as suggested from a youth) and people want to go downtown once a month and pray for people. The one thing we didn't figure out was the community side - but since we are going to be doing all this praying, and discipling and ministering, I guess we will have to do it as a community!

This is what I mean by transformation. Amazingly, the only thing that I have to do is talk to the other churches about praying with us. Everyone else is doing the rest of the ministry. This would not have happened twelve months ago. Twelve months ago it would ave been all one me.

Here is the interesting thing: there were only 17 people in this meeting, about half the church. What difference can 17 people make? Well, the way I look at it, we've planted an Oak Grove with these 17 people. Give it time. We should have enough to build a cathedral in a couple of decades. It's the way God does things - once person at a time. I'm willing to wait, are you?

Future of the chuch

2012-11-12T14:31:00.002-06:00

Couple of interesting things this morning. First, Dave Murrow over at Church for Men has an interesting thought about what the church will look like in the next 50 years:

The church-on-the-corner that’s been the bedrock of American Christianity since colonial days will cease to exist by 2062. These churches of 50 to 500 souls will become too expensive to staff and their aging buildings too difficult to maintain. These so-called “family churches” are already losing members to megachurches that offer superior preaching, music and programming. Pastors are shunning their pulpits, preferring to plant new congregations. In their place we will see:
Megachurches will accelerate the establishment of satellite campuses.
Some of these will have a physical building holding hundreds of worshippers, and some will be microchurches of less than 50 people. These churches will have little or no staff. Microchurches will be led by a layperson (or couple) and will meet in private homes or in rented spaces. These will not be “house churches” as we know them now, because they will be affiliates of…
I predict that about 200 megachurches will come to dominate American Christianity by 2062.
In the same way WalMart took over the mom-and-pop store, a handful of megachurches will absorb thousands of other congregations – including other megachurches. They’ll do it by planting satellite campuses in thousands of cities and towns in America, delivering their teaching and music via video. Just as there are Baptist churches in nearly every city in America today, in 2062 there will be satellite and microchurch affiliates in every city and town.

An interesting picture, one I'm not too sure about. The other interesting thing is an e-mail that I received over the weekend. One of the things that has surprised me since becoming a pastor is the number of unsolicited e-mails I get from people I don't know, who have never stepped foot in my church, telling me what we should or shouldn't be doing. These are not sales pitches to buy the newest biggest program, but are people just telling me what to do (or warm me about how I may be preaching heresy!). I received this from someone by the name of "Adrian":

As far as a better way to run Sunday morning services/church, I don't have the exact answer because I haven't lived to experience it, but I think one idea that might be more effective than just having preaching is to have separate topic/task-oriented groups going during the normal service time. One group could be teaching people how to play musical instruments and sharing worship ideas. Another group could have a team set up for going into the community and blessing people. Yet another group could be set aside for fellowship (and have food and/or games). And the pastor could have his own group to preach his sermon to. The concept behind this is that not everyone needs the same things at the same times, and in order to be more efficient and have the Kingdom flowing more effectively, we could adjust how things are run to meet more of the Body's needs. Some people work a lot and so aren't able to spend time with other Christians during the week, and so would benefit the most from having fellowship on Sunday morning. Some people are itching to minister in the community and only have Sunday free to be able to do so. Some people would benefit the most from learning skills that they could use to serve God in new ways. And, of course, some people enjoy and need spiritual messages and a Sunday sermon can help meet that need.

Adrian went on to explain that the basis for these ideas was from "science/research". His concern is simple:

...many people get passed over every Sunday morning because the message the pastor preaches is not what they need. While they can possibly glean something useful from it if they try hard enough, this ignores the bigger problem at hand: they shouldn't have to. It's like watching the same movie over and over and trying to get an incredibly different experience from it. While small details that may have been missed can be picked up, it would be much more beneficial to pop in a new movie to get a new experience to take in. A greater amount of ideas can be shared if more than one group/message is going during Sunday mornings.

So, is this the future of the church? What do you think? I've been thinking about this stuff for some time and I can see the church moving into both of these places. These suggestions would create extremely efficient church that can serve the wants and desires of the individuals within their congregations. But is that what the church is supposed to be? Makes me wonder if that is the kind of church that I want to be a part of. Turing the church into a WalMart where you get everything you want the way you want really doesn't do much for me. Let me know what you think. I'll post my thoughts later in the week.

Election

2012-11-07T12:49:00.002-06:00

I wanted to post something today about the election, but I think Tim Stafford said it best:

I am thankful for America…
… where we don’t have Republican suicide bombers ramming explosive-laden trucks into Democratic campaign offices.
… where mobs of young Democratic men did not surge into Republican neighborhoods burning houses and churches.
… where Mitt Romney gave a gracious concession speech and pledged to pray for President Obama’s success.
… where President Obama acknowledged the love for America that motivated all sides in the campaign, and praised the Romney family’s lifelong devotion to serving their country.
…. where life goes on the day after the election almost exactly the way it went on the day before the election, only with fewer ads and no robo-calls.

So here it begins......

2012-11-06T09:03:00.000-06:00

That was how I started this log back on May 7, 2003. Hard to believe it's been nearly ten years. I started to read "blogs" a few years earlier. Cindy and I were preparing to plant a church and I was fascinated by some of the changes that were occurring the "emerging" church. Old models seemed to passing and new models were being tested. People were trying new things and they were blogging about it. I read Jordon Cooper, Andrew Jones, Jonny Baker and many more like them. These blogs weren't just about idle thoughts, they were stories from the front line. People would write about everything that they were trying - what was working, what wasn't and what God seemed to be doing. The pioneers were out attempting new stuff and writing about it.

It was in that environment that I started this blog. I wrote this on May 8, 2003:

I thought I would start this blog to attempt to keep track of the trials and tribulations in the planting of a church. I hope that in time, this little bog will turn into God’s story of what he is doing with us, as well as miscellaneous thoughts and ramblings on what it means to be a Christ follower in the 21st century. Idle thoughts about community, leadership, church and relationships are sure to be plentiful.

And that was the goal.

Blogging has changed over the years. I follow nearly 100 church related blogs. Every morning I get up, do my quiet time, make coffee and then turn on my computer. I do a quick check of e-mail and facebook, then I go to Google Reader to see what is new. I've been doing this same routine for a decade and today it hit me, nothing is new.

Blogging has transformed into something ugly. Very few people are telling stories of what thy are trying any more. Instead, we either blog to build ourselves up or tear each other down. Most of my reading this morning either explained to me why the blogger had the greatest thing that I needed to join, buy, attend or vote for (usually in five easy steps) or why someone else thing was crap (that is putting it mildly.) The internet has become a dangerous place to think out loud lest someone label you a heretic or worse. I've seen it happen to some of the people I follow and I have experienced it to a lessor extent as well. Toe the line or else someone will beat you into submission - and the church (local and global) has suffered for it.

So here is what I'm going to propose. First, I'm going to clean up my reading list. I'm going to stop reading those who tear down and start reading those who are actually doing something. Secondly, I'm going to start being a bit more honest here. What am I doing, what is working, what isn't and most importantly, what does it mean in my life to be a follower of Christ in the 21st century. What do I have to do or change personally to do it. Thirdly, I'm going to try to not be a part of the problem. I will try to build up, not tear down. I will try to lower the volume of hateful criticism by not participating in it. I still will read, I still will review books and such, but I will attempt to do it showing the love of Christ in such a way that is not destructive to the body of Christ.

I don't know what this will look like and I don't know what the future will hold. I realize that in comparison to others, my little blog is insignificant. But as Junior Asparagus says: "little guys can do big things too." I'll end today with the same way I ended on May 8, 2003:

So as the title of the blog goes, feel free to sit back and enjoy a cup a joe with me while, with the help of the Holy Sprint, we stumble through this thing called life. Enjoy!

System Update

2012-11-05T07:41:00.000-06:00

I'm back. Since my last post, I've had numerous computer problems that have prevented me from actually blogging (plus, I'm lazy). It's been a season where anything that could go wrong computer wise (as well as other wise) would go wrong. Water and milk destroying two computers, a cracked laptop screen on another, flames shooting out of the back of yet another...needless to say, by the beginning of August, I no longer had a working computer at my disposal. So I did what any other poor church planter would do - I put a plea for help on facebook.

Cindy's dad heard the call and gave me an old laptop of his that had "issues". He said the screen was dimming so bad that he could no longer see it, so he went out and bought a new computer. The laptop was an old Dell Vostro 1000 with 1 gig internal and a 100 gig (aprox) hard drive. I turned it on, the screen was dim and I got numerous battery errors as the Windows XP logo came on. The dim screen was a software issue (cost $0). The battery errors were due to an out of date BIOS issue (updated BIOS cost $0). I cannibalized some of the broken computers to up my memory to 2 gigs and put Ubuntu 12.03 LTS on it (cost for memory and operating system $0). I discovered along the way that this thing has a 64 bit processor in it (AMD Athlon X2) and although Dell says it can only take 2 gigs, with the new 64 bit operating systems, many other users have put more in successfully (planing on upping it to 4 gigs in the near future).

So for a total cost of $0, I have a pretty decent computer - much better then the last one that was shooting flames out of the back of it. My excuse for not posting is now gone. Now we just need to see what I do next.

Sunday bloody sunday

2012-07-23T07:22:00.000-05:00

Two difficult weeks in a row. Two Sundays, back to back, when I begin to question why we are doing this. Two Sunday's when the attendance is barely 20. The tithe is down...way down. We are back in the red. I've got leaders speaking in code. I've got people explaining to me that "god" is telling them that they need to do their own thing and that thing does not include church. I've got bickering, nit picking and complaining. The church is bleeding and I'm not sure I know how to stop it.

Why oh why does God choose this Sunday to teach me about perseverance? Months ago I planned this summer series. It was going to be nice and light. James - how difficult can that be? Everything is going on around me and I have to preach on this:

Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near. Don't grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door! Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
(James 5:7-11)

Cute - right? I wish I could say that I planned this - but no - this was a God thing (that is the problem with a book series - you never know what is going to be relevant and what isn't.)

So, what to do. I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I'm hurt. I did a ministry time with preserving through the difficult times and trusting God as the focus and thought "wow, I really need prayer for this!" But there was no one to pray.

I remember an old Dylan song - "Pressing on". That's my motto for now. But I'm tired and I need help. More later.....

Thoughts about the curse...

2012-07-17T13:08:00.000-05:00

Interesting article over at Practical Theology for Women. Wendy is discussing the popularity of the Twilight series and now the 50 Shades of Gray books. This quote really got me:

After 3 waves of feminism, countless laws, and much education, there remain millions of women who'd run after the sulky vampire in their fantasies, choosing to suck blood for the rest of their lives rather than living in the light.

I was writing last month about the concept of a more masculine Christianity. One of the problems that I have with that concept is what I view as the embracing of the curse (something that I want to expand upon later.) Wendy seems to see this as well, but of course from the other side. It got me thinking about what exploitation looks like and how we just seem to think that it is a normal part of society. More on this later.

Uggh!!!!

2012-07-09T15:48:00.001-05:00

It's been a rough few weeks around here computer wise. It all started about two weeks ago. There was this cup of water - and then there was Cindy's computer - and then....well lets just say the two did not mix well. The water seemed to some how short out her keyboard and make her computer unusable. Luckily, I was able to get into the hard drive and recover most of her files. But the incident left us one computer short. Cindy does most of the administrative work for the church, so she needs a computer to do her thing. Like the good husband I am, I quickly created her a sign-on on my laptop and recreated her desktop on my computer. Problem solved, we will just share a computer.

Who am I kidding - share a computer in this day and age. I never realized how dependent I was on my computer. Yes, I know that I can do a lot on my smart phone but there was so much more that I needed a computer for (like blogging ;) ). I was going through withdrawal. I would just sit there - looking at her use my computer. Envying the time that she had with it - coveting it - desiring it. It made me batty (did I mention that it was my computer?) I needed to get my hands on a computer and soon!

I figured I had a couple of options. First, there was that old Dell that I rebuilt as a Linux box a few months ago. I could use that. Granted, it was slow and tended to get hung up every 30 minutes or so, but it was better then nothing. Just for e-mail and writing it should be fine. The problem was that I put it away somewhere after my last trip - and for the life of me I didn't remember where that was. I tore my desk area apart, I tore my room apart, I tore the place where I keep all my computer parts apart - no Dell!

It was about here that the shakes started......but wait, there was another solution. When I rebuilt all of the church computer I created a desktop Linux box. I could use that! It even had a lot of power as well. There was only one problem. It was set up in Emily's room and she was home from school and living in her room. I needed to create a place where I could set it up. So I convinced my wife that we needed to reorganize our family room / piano area / school room and create some "office space" for me. I quickly got to work and gutted the entire area. I created a nook for myself and set up the desktop. A mini office - I was beside myself. I booted up the computer and set everything up (e-mail, calendar, etc.). I went to bed extremely happy that night.

The next morning I woke up and went to my office. I pressed the power button on the computer and.....and.....and.....and.....it crashed. Something failed. It would not boot back up! Tears started welling up in my eyes. It was not fair. I went through all the stages of grief. I was in shock. This couldn't be happening. I hurt all over. What was I doing wrong? I got mad. I tried to make deals with God to get me a computer. And then I just gave up. I got depressed. I was disconnected from the world wide web. I felt alone. Finally, the weekend came. I grabbed my computer from my wife and wrote my sermon - complaining the entire time that we needed to figure something out long term. This was not going to work. But then on Saturday night, a miracle happened.

My Dell appeared! It wasn't much, but it was something. I booted it up and it worked (it's still working, I'm on it right now!) As I went to the home screen, I discovered that there was a new version of Mint available (Mint 13). I downloaded it and created a bootable DVD. Of course, it didn't work on the Dell (processor and video card are way too slow) but maybe it might work on the desktop downstairs. I put the DVD in (Mint 13 with the Cinnamon desktop) and miraculously - it booted up. I installed the new operating system and it works (BTW - I've only played with it for a few hours but I really like the Cinnamon desktop a lot).

I know that I am just buying time with the desktop. I realize that the hard drive is the issue and that I probably need to replace it (the sooner the better). But at least it seems to be working (along with my old notebook). So here is where I am as of today: Cindy is using my HP laptop. I figure as long as the Linux machines are working, I only need it to sync my iPod every week or so. I think I can do most of my writing and e-mail on the Dell Inspiron 600m laptop (running Linux Mint 12 LXDE) and the more complicated stuff on the Desktop (running Linux Mint 13 Cinnamon). I'll need to get used to using LibreOffice but that shouldn't be much of an issue. But what I really need to do is pray that everything stays up and running - and keep those cups of water far away!!!

Father of Lights

2012-06-26T09:27:00.002-05:00

I had a chance to catch a sneak peek of the new Darren Wilson film Father of Lights. This is the third film in his trilogy (Finger of God and Furious Love were the fist two) and in my opinion, the best. The film will be going out on tour over the summer. This will be an event that you do not want to miss. Check out this link for more details. Until then, here are two trailers for the film.

Whose Image?

2012-06-12T10:26:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned in my last post, I want to unpack some thoughts from the conversation that I had a few weeks back. The first thing that struck me was the differences in Jesus. My friend complained on how in the Vineyard, we keep talking (singing) about loving Jesus and intimacy with Jesus. He claimed that guys don't want that, they want the warrior Jesus. I found this both odd and indicative of who we have become in the church.

Genesis 1:26-27 talks about how God created us in his own image. "Then God said, "Let us make man in our own image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." N.T. Wright has an interesting perspective to the creation story. He looks at it as a temple narrative. The earth is God's temple and the creation days are the courts around the temple. In the center of most temples are an image of the god that the temple is worshiping. This image is to represent that particular god. We are placed in the center of this temple, as God's image bearers (I'm still taking time to process some of this, but this gives a lot more meaning to the parables of the talents. For more on this, see N.T. Wright's book "How God Became King: The Forgotten Story of the Gospel".) The key to this verse is that we were made into the image of God. Now we all know the rest of the story. By chapter 3 of Genesis, God's image bearers become corrupt and are thrown out of the garden. At this point, something interesting seems to happen. We no longer seem to be fully bearing the image of God. We need to be changed to bear his image (to be reborn). That seems to be a part of God's plan in the rest of the bible. To put things back in place so to speak. But for us, instead of being changed back into God's image, it seems that it is easier to change God into our image. We not only do this to God, but we tend do this to his son as well.

When someone speaks the name of Jesus, sometimes you need to ask which Jesus they are speaking about. There is a great film clip from "Talladega Nights" where Ricky Bobby is praying to "baby Jesus". The others around the table start complaining that there are other Jesus - that he wasn't just a baby. The best quote is when he friend describes Jesus in a tuxedo tee shirt because "I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party". How many of us do the same thing - creating a Jesus in our image?

"Your OK with me"

There is one thing that I have observed through out the years. Most of us are very insecure. We want to believe that we are ok - we want to be accepted. So we seek out people who are like us, who will accept us. This is the primary reason for the existence of gangs. They are a place of acceptance for those who are members of them. We take that same mentality, and place it on Jesus. We teach in the church that we are being "transformed into being more like Jesus". On the outside, we say "amen" but on the inside, we are secretly praying that Jesus likes some of the things that we like so that we don't have to change too much. We begin to justify things to ourselves and to others. And in the process, Jesus slowly changes and begins to look more like us and less like the Jesus of the Gospels.

The good, the bad, and the son of God?

That is the first problem that I had with my friend's comment. There is a picture of a warrior Jesus in scripture (Revelations) - but for the majority of the Gospels, there is a picture of a loving King. A King who tells us to follow him. A King who tells us to love our neighbors and our enemies. A King who tells us that we shouldn't worry about judging others, that he will deal with it in his own time. Focusing only on the warrior Jesus creates a Jesus that "wipes out thousands" (I have no idea where this Jesus is found in scripture - Revelations perhaps???) and justifies a gospel of judgement. I have seen this gospel at work. I have had it preached against me. And I don't like it's fruit.

Giving new meaning to "Jesus Saves"

Now, I know that I need to be careful. In pointing out the judgment, I can also be unjustly judging (oops, back to Genesis 3). My heart is not as pure as I would like to believe it is. But perhaps that is the thing that we all need to discover. Our hearts are not as pure as we imagine. Only Jesus can transform our hearts. Only Jesus can restore that image that we were supposed to have. But for us, we need to be aware that our default is to focus on the Jesus that looks like us. We need to remember that we are the ones being transformed - not him. That can be a scary place. But it is only in that place that we can fully experience everything that Jesus has for us. But are we really willing to go there?

Oh, look at the time....

2012-06-04T23:32:00.001-05:00

I had coffee the other day with an ex-member of our church who moved across country a few years back to attend a major Christian college. He was back in town for a wedding and gave me a call. He is currently attending a satellite of a large, nationally known church based out of Seattle. Our conversation was pleasant, but then at the end he said something to me that didn't sit well. He was complaining that the church (universal) had become too feminine and that is why "guys" don't like coming to church. He then used the worship music that the Vineyard has put out as an example. "It's all about intimacy - loving Jesus and all that. Guy's don't want that, they want the warrior Jesus. That intimacy stuff is too feminine. The church needs to be more masculine - the way Jesus intended it to be!" (Sorry, I'm paraphrasing here, using my own words - I don't remember the direct quote but this was the gist of it.). This really caught me off guard - so much so that I didn't respond. Instead I smiled and said something like "oh, look at the time..." Normally, I'm able to blow this stuff off, but this time it just stuck with me.

One of the requirements of being in the Vineyard is that you've got to have thick skin. We've tended to take criticism from all sides and I've learned not to take much of it personally. But this one bothered me for another reason. There is an attitude that is running through parts of the church (universal) that really disturbs me (frightens me might be a better word). On the outside, it seems pretty harmless, but deep down there are roots that can tear us all apart and perhaps even move us away from Jesus.

There is too much running in my head for just one post. I want to spend some time and unpack this a bit. Before I post my thoughts, what are yours?

Great question....

2012-05-30T11:23:00.003-05:00

HT to Scot McKnight regarding a question raised by John Pattison at Slow Church:

In a 2007 interview with Arthur Boers, the philosopher Albert Borgmann makes the case that television is of moral importance. Borgmann says: “When I teach my ethics course I tell these relatively young people that the most important decision that they’ll make about their household is first whether they’re going to get a television and then second where they’re going to put it.”
I think for my generation and for the generation coming after mine, the questions could probably be amended to (a) “Are you going to get a smartphone?” and (b) “If so, what limits are you going to place on its use?”
These are questions I’m asking myself right now too. I have an iPhone. Am I going to keep it? If so, how should I limit its use? To use a science fiction metaphor, the iPhone is a kind of portal, one that can cause me to be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually distant, even when I’m physically present. How often do I want to have that portal open?

This really got me thinking. I'm amazed on how I can have a busy day and not get anything accomplished because I let technology keep me busy. I find it disheartening when I consider how may times I look at my phone simply because it is there. Last year I dropped my phone and the screen shattered. It took Sprint a week to get me a replacement. I remember that week was like going through detox. I kept patting my side where my phone should be - expecting it to be there. I felt "phantom" buzzes (perhaps this is the way an amputee sometimes "feels" his missing body part). It really bothered me - so much so that I started deleting apps that were simply there to waste time.

I find it interesting that the cost of being connected to the world is to become less present to those physically around you.