Called to Love

May you...

2011-06-11T21:23:00.000-05:00

Compliments to Katilyn White for sharing this benediction about becoming human, author unknown.

May you be blessed with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you will live deep in your heart.

May you be blessed with anger at injustice, oppression and the exploitation of people and the Earth, so that you will work for Justice, Equity and Peace.

May you be blessed with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that you will reach out your hand to comfort them and change their pain into joy.

And may you be blessed with foolishness to think you can make a difference in the world, so that you will do the things which others say cannot be done.

As God’s own, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, and patience, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, and crown all these things with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Glory be to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, it is now, and so shall be forever and ever. Allelujah! Amen.

Becoming Human

2011-05-26T13:06:00.003-05:00

I would like to first thank all of you who have played a big part in encouraging me to this point. These ideas are certainly not my own and are a result of MANY God inspired conversations and relationships that have developed over the last four or five months. Some from old friends, and some from people I had only known for hours… I am so grateful for you all.

Many of you may know of my plans to travel to Central and South America in January. What simply started as a dream of mine has been completely transformed by God into something bigger than I could have ever imagined. While I will still be “traveling”, I have been challenged to trust that God’s plans for me are much better than my own… and if I just let God be God, He will use me and my passions to do great things.

That brings me to where I am now. During my travels, I plan to encourage various missionaries and ministries who are committed to serving in their various countries for an extended period of time. If there is a “need” to be met, I plan to help raise support for those needs. They may or may not require me actually carrying them out, but I hope to encourage in any way possible. Lastly, in addition to helping serve and learning first hand about different languages and culture, this pilgrimage is about much more. Through my experiences and relationships formed a long the way, I hope to further understand what it means to be human, and what our responsibilities to humanity are.

I know this question sounds incredibly vague, that is because it is… I am not hoping to find a single right answer, but hopefully gain perspective from all walks of life on the simple subject of being human. What does it mean to be human, what inspires us, what drives us, what are our goals, what are our responsibilities as humans? These are just a few questions that have been occupying my mind in some form for several months now.

After multiple conversations that have been nothing less than God inspired, I believe that God is using young people to challenge and shape culture. This world needs people in all walks of life, in each generation, to challenge the way we are expected to live life. Not everyone is called to live simply, but everyone is called to something bigger than what we know or what we are told; climbing the corporate ladder, collecting material possessions, or saving up for a comfortable retirement. Please do not confuse these words for me saying that possessions or savings are bad, they aren’t. However we do not need multiple cars, we do not need TV’s in every room, we do not need clothes for every day of the year.

In searching for what it means to be human, regardless of spiritual beliefs, I believe that we will find our ability to feel, discern, plan for the future, comes with a responsibility to help those who are not as fortunate as ourselves. It may not be that everyone needs a financial donation, or medical relief… maybe some of us need to remember that we should be more intentional about what we say. And when we ask someone, “How are you?” we should care enough to listen to what they have to say.

Honestly, I do not know what it means to be human… I believe I am asking an age old question that will require an incredible amount of time and research to even begin to understand what our responsibilities to humanity are, probably more time than I will ever know.

So here is my invitation to you; whether I have sent you this link asking for your assistance, or if you have simply stumbled across this post accidentally, I would greatly appreciate your thoughts and input on any of the following questions about becoming human.

· What does it mean to be human?

· What are our responsibilities as humans to humanity, if any?

· What drives us, what inspires us as humans?

· Maybe you have a question of your own that you’d like to start looking into, I encourage you to share it.

There is no right or wrong answer; answers can be based on the physical, mental, social, psychological, metaphysical, spiritual, or even none of the aforementioned concepts. Feel free to pull from personal experience and even include references to literature and other helpful resources. I do not have any expectations of what I will find, but I assure you that anything I receive will be shared with all of you...

Thanks to all for your taking the time to read these thoughts, and for sharing in this journey of becoming human.

-Called to love-

Please feel free post responses as comments or e-mail them to me at:
pbandcy@gmail.com

1 John 3:16-18

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down or lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

Unintentional Love

2011-05-08T01:23:00.002-05:00

I Corinthians 13: 6

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Plainly put, culturally we struggle with the intent of what we say. It is acceptable to say things that sound good before we have any real intention of following through. We see this so much in relationships (both with family, friends, and loved ones) that we’ve become numb to the fact that love is supposed to be built on truth. Love rejoices with the truth.

How do you feel when those closest to you make intentional statements, such as promises, and then cancel because of other more important things? Has someone ever told you that they are going to come visit you, and they never do? Or more simple, what about when we tell someone you will call them, and don’t? I know that everyone has experienced this feeling in some form, but should it be that way?

We are a culture that says the intentional, with no immediate intention of carrying out such actions. While it seems so minor, and some would argue that it is not even being dishonest, my argument is that it is not truth.

Friendships: “Hey bro, we need to hang out soon. Let’s make this happen… I’ll call you.”

But you don’t.

Relationships: “I’ll come visit this weekend (if there isn’t anything more important that might pop up). I’ll swing by after work (if I finish everything I have to get done). I’m going to make you something… “

Only say these things if you truly wish to follow through with them.

I will be the first to say it; I still do this way to often. In fact, I do it a lot less than I used to. However, this careless unintentionality can be incredibly destructive when trying to fully love others with the love of Christ. Let us swallow our pride, and our need to say what sounds best, and speak out of nothing but love that rejoices in truth.

Why? Is it really that destructive?

Yes, it is that destructive. In fact, it is the only kind of love that many people know. They expect love to not follow through. People become okay to the fact that those closest to them do not keep promises. They see Christians who wish to share Jesus with others, but their inconsistency is hurting their witness.

In my entire life, there has only been one “constant”. God. He has always followed through, and he has shown me what it means when love rejoices in the truth. Yet, we fail to share this love with others because of the inconsistency between our words and our actions. I understand that we are imperfect people, and we will disappoint. But there is only one way to share this kind of love; to love other’s like Christ we must strive to imitate the love of Christ. In all of history, Christ’s example of love is the single most consistent example of truth. Whatever he said, he did. In fact, Pastor Wayne Cordeiro said it best when describing Jesus’ intentionality, “What He said was who He was.”

Brothers and sisters, this means that in all relationships (family, friends, and loved ones) one of the greatest ways to show the love of Christ is to be true to your word. Be careful with what you commit to. And when you commit, be sure you follow through. This is where love will rejoice.

Supplemental Readings-

James 5:12

Above all, my brothers, do not swear- not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your 'Yes' be your yes and your 'No,' no, or you will be condemned.

Matthew 5:37

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No,’ anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

The Divine Mentor, Wayne Cordiero

Chapter 9, “Oak All the Way to the Core”

Surrender

2011-04-27T01:49:00.003-05:00

In studying manhood with some of my male students at school, we have finally come to the topic of love. Specifically, love as it pertains to our female counterparts, however the same message applies to most any relationship. Love is always on the mind at some level; whether we long for lasting friendships or an intimate relationship, we are all thirsty for love. The trouble is that we are humans, and we cannot love perfectly, or unconditionally, like Christ does. Yet that is our mission.

Guys and girls, the only way that we can fully know this love, and express this towards one another, is to be in complete surrender to God. Allowing him to love through us, as willing servants of his perfect plan.

I Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always, hopes, and always perseveres.

Love is patient and kind.

Surrender your will. You can believe that love is a waiting game. There is a time for love (especially as it relates to the opposite sex), but it is not just a waiting game. We are simply imperfect people who are learning to love one another, and that my friends, takes patience. When we let others down, or when others let us down, we should always respond out of patience and kindness. How else are we to learn, how else are we to ever meet anyone’s expectations? Just as Christ loves us, he is patiently waiting for us to understand. He is never irritated, frustrated, or upset. No, He kindly waits for us to know His love.

Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Surrender your pride. Love is not about me, and the moment it becomes that, it is no longer love. Grace is not about us, but it is for us. We are not saved by anything other than God’s love through grace. We have nothing to boast about, because we do not deserve the love we are given, and still we take it for granted.

Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Surrender your emotions, feelings, and attractions. Love is putting the condition of another’s heart above the condition of your own. Knowing that people are imperfect, and people will disappoint, we cannot for a moment assume that we can use love for any self-gain. The moment we do that, love becomes terribly destructive.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.

Surrender your mind. Love is honest, and it cannot grow in the midst of lies and manipulation. More than anything else, love is faithful… When God promises, He delivers. This is the same for us, let your yes be yes, and your no be no. Be consistent, if you say you will do something, follow through. Likewise, do not commit to promises you cannot keep.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

Surrender control, it is not by our power or will that we can love someone to this magnitude without first surrendering control. This is just one of the amazing truths about God’s love, it does not expire. God is constantly pursuing us with love, regardless of whether we choose to love Him in return. In a relationship, we need to fully commit to loving that person in their imperfectness, just as God loves us. Godly love looks to protect the heart and well being, just as God wishes to keep us from harm and suffering through his guidance and provision.

What does this mean in our relationships?

When looking for relationships with the opposite sex, there is one simple truth: to be able to love anyone else, especially the one we care for the most, we must love Jesus more… we must surrender to the Love of Christ. As humans trying to love, there will be heartache and pain because we still struggle with sin (pride, anger, control, and selfishness), but you must commit fully to loving with the same love that Christ has for us.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, do not settle for less than God’s best. Be in constant preparation, and do not give your heart away carelessly. Hide it in Christ, so that when it is found it will be found and established in Him. We have created a cycle of broken and empty relationships, and we both have to work together to break this pattern.

Brothers, pursue Christ first and foremost. Commit to protecting the hearts of your sisters in Christ. Stand up for them, and encourage them towards what true love is. Only when you are in complete surrender to Jesus, should you pursue a woman’s heart. Remember, you are to love her with the same reckless abandonment as Christ has loved you in your imperfections.

Likewise, Sisters, pursue Christ first. Protect your heart, do not give it away freely; stand strong in God’s promises to you. Know your worth and value as daughters of God, and encourage your brothers in Christ to become Godly leaders.

May we love as Christ loves us, may we be in complete surrender to Him.

You're Responsible: Read With Care

2011-04-17T01:00:00.001-05:00

Last post I shared a bit of my heart, and how there are not enough young men stepping up into leadership roles and pursuing manhood… and that there are very few older men out there investing in the young males of today. However, I’ve started a new book call The Divine Mentor, by Wayne Cordeiro, and I feel like I missed a few key points and I want to make sure that Pastor Wayne gets full credit for many of the thoughts contained in this blog post. While I was pretty rough on the guys last week, I think you girls should pay attention as well.

To start, what is the root of the problem for boys and girls today? Is it that there aren’t enough males and females pouring into our youth? Are parents to blame for doing everything for their children and never letting them learn how to live life on their own? Is culture telling us that we should behave one way, when the Bible may suggest differently?

Perhaps.

But like all problems, there are usually many factors that will influence the outcome, but only one solution that we can control… ourselves.

Aspiring men and women, you and I have a choice to make no matter what our circumstances may be. Are we taking care of our own responsibility to grow ourselves? Or are we waiting for someone else to take over this responsibility for us? This is the first step in addressing any of life’s problem- understanding that we are responsible for our own development.

This does not mean that those we come in contact with will not heavily influence who we become. But if we have a problem, we need to be the first to respond.

We are not living in a State Farm commercial folks. If you want a hot tub, then you better earn it. If you wish to be mentored, then you need to go find someone to mentor you. If you need positive influences in your life, seek them out. If you are not being fed spiritually, then open your Bible. Do not sit and think that because you need guidance, or you need a mentor, that one will just pop out of thin air. Guys and girls, we need to initiate the process of becoming men and women of God by understanding that it is our responsibility to grow ourselves… and we cannot expect others to do it for us.

Yes, I do believe that God will provide us with plenty of relationships to help guide and lead our growth. But if a problem presents itself, first think about what we can do to address our problems, and not wait for others to come along and solve them for us.

Oh, and when there are no “mentors” readily available for us, why do we not look to the mentors of scripture that have been available to us for thousands of years? Men, look to Moses, Joshua, David, Nehemiah and save yourself a lot of pain and suffering by learning from their mistakes and their successes as leaders appointed by God. Women, why not look to Ruth, Esther, and Mary and see how you are to passionately pursue the love of God first and foremost?

The bottom line:

MEN understand that we are responsible for becoming real men of God, and that even if there is no one here to tell us how, it is our duty to pursue manhood regardless. We need to seek the answers to our many questions, expecting that they will not get answered until we pursue truth on our own.

WOMEN understand that while men are responsible for their own development, you too are held to the same standards. Look to the love of our Father first to fulfill your need for love, not from young men who do not fully understand how you should be loved.

Proverbs 4:7

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

Life Giving

2011-04-08T00:23:00.002-05:00

“Manhood is life giving. Masculinity is best expressed when it is here for others.”
-Robert Lewis

What I have been convicted by lately is the extreme lack of males in leadership, especially spiritual leadership. Men, please look around and tell me that these things are not true of our “masculinity”:

· we don’t want to stir emotions

· we don’t want to ruffle any feathers

· we avoid conflict at all costs, the things we want are about our own personal success and well-being

· we are perfectly okay in partially committed relationships

· we do not understand the fragility of the female heart (we never fully will, but I’m talking about the complete disregard for the caring of a female heart)

· we certainly don’t want to be held responsible for any of the fore mentioned issues…

Okay, all of these may not apply to you, but I know there has to be at least one that does.

Let me first say that I am not innocent of any of the charges, but I do desire change. At our Men’s bible study last week we read an article the referenced Robert Lewis’ book, The Quest for Authentic Manhood. One of the points he made about being Godly men is that we are purposed to give life, not take it.

Now even if you aren’t taking life, it does not automatically mean you are living a life that is focused on the eternal either. It is very easy to focus on finite goals, things that are just temporary and insignificant. But in order to give life our hearts need to be awakened to things of eternal value.

I know it is easy to talk about, but let’s get going men. As we pursue God, the things that make our heart hurt are the same things that hurt our Father’s heart.

Guess what? These issues of heartache are also issues of life, and giving life. Meaning, these things of conviction hold significant meaning for the lives of others, especially when we act on them. And that is exactly what we are called to do, act.

What does that mean? It means that failure to act will not bring life to others… and we’ll continue to live as passive boys who don’t want to bother anyone because it is “not our place”. Men, it is our place!

Convictions will be different for all of us, as God has a different plan for you than he does for me. As for myself, my heart hurts that our society is filled with boys who do not want to become men, or have very few men to teach them how… and I want to encourage a life that challenges them to discover what true masculinity is (while I pursue manhood for myself as well).

I realize this posting has not given any real answers as to how to give life, the truth is I am still learning that myself. But for starters, let’s stop focusing for one second on what our goals and dreams are, or how we are going to get the hottest girl, biggest house, and the fastest car, and let’s start focusing on the convictions placed on our hearts by God. Come on boys, it’s time to be men… it’s time to give life.

“So it is written: “The first man Adam became a living being”; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit.

I Corinthians 15:45

Can't find my keys...

2011-03-24T00:20:00.001-05:00

Today I left my keys hanging in the door of my car for the better part of five hours as it waited for me just across the street from the Circle K on Belmont Boulevard. Don't worry, none of the hundreds of people training for the marathon today felt the need to quit when they saw my "free" ride sitting there on the side of the road. Needless to say, after class my car was right where I had left it, and so were my keys.

I hate to admit this, but today is actually the second time I have done that careless act this month (and in nearly the same exact place). While I don not believe there to be many people looking for a free car, or a sample of whatever may be inside, to be walking down Belmont Boulevard... I find it comforting to know that someone would be willing to take the time to remove my keys from the door, use an old assignment of theirs from some audio engineering class to wrap around my keys, and then leave them "hidden" for me under my windshield wipers with a nice little note. Incredible.

Yet, I don't feel like this story would have had the same warm and fuzzy ending had I been this careless back in Los Angeles. But I still believe that people are inherently good, and today was just a simple reminder of that awesome truth. You can say we have been born into sin, or remind me that we have a sin nature about us, but we are still created in God's image. Which I believe is partly reflected in all the goodness we see in the world, such as my audio engineer friend from today.

But more important than arguing the topic of whether people are inherently good or bad, serving others out of kindness helps remind others of the God image we were created in. Some call it paying it forward, others call it love, I think it is just how God intended us to live when he created us in His image.

So here is to the little things in life, specifically those that remind us of God's great goodness we were created in.

You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
C.S. Lewis

Ears to Hear

2011-02-28T23:43:00.005-06:00

How does God speak to you, personally? For me it can be through people and experiences. In fact, this blog post has been inspired by my pastor's message from two weeks ago, which I feel is very relevant to what has been on my heart. But aside from hearing God through people or experiences, I feel God speaks to me most through strong convictions. I do believe God can speak using plain English (or whatever language you speak best), but I have yet to experience this “audible” voice of God for myself. Regardless of how God speaks to you, it is good to understand that God is speaking to you.

For the rest of this journal, or for as long as you wish, the moments in which you believe God speaks to you will represent your metaphorical “ears” in which you hear God.

Revelations 3:22

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

The first thing I think of when I read this verse is that I have two ears, one more than just “an ear”. Fortunately for me, it doesn’t mean that I am twice as guilty when I fail to hear God speaking in my life. Still, ignoring God’s call or voice in our life is often the easiest thing to do, but it is never the best thing for us. Rarely are the best things in life easy to come by; you should anticipate difficult challenges, uncomfortable conversations, radical living, and having to think intentionally every step of the way.

In my last posting, I wrote about how strong feelings and convictions should receive special attention, well I’ve got a little bit more to say about dreams, visions, listening, and actions versus inactions.

Revelations 3 is most famous for discussing the topic of “lukewarmness”. While I am not going to focus on what it means to be lukewarm, I intend to focus on listening (which still has a lot do to with remaining in a lukewarm state or moving out of it). To be a useful tool for God we have to be able to listen when God is speaking. When we struggle with complacency, urgency, listening, or even usefulness, we struggle with lukewarmness. But don’t worry; God never stops pursuing us when we lose sight. Doubt may set in, and we may fail to obey. Struggling to carry out strong convictions, understand strong feelings, or trust God’s vision for our life is something that will happen. However, even when we fail to act God is still standing at the door of our lives knocking, waiting for us to listen and respond (verse 20), “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”

The next question is, “are we listening?”

This is the part I struggle with the most, I can spend hours talking to God about all of my problems and transfer immediately into a grocery list of request, but never once do I stop and just listen. I have “ears”, I know when God is speaking to me, but I still find it difficult to allow God the opportunity to speak before I interrupt with more concerns. Fortunately for me, Jesus will knock for an eternity if that’s what it takes to get my attention… I hope that’s not the case.

So here is the good news: when we finally learn to listen and respond to the Lord’s callings in our lives, Jesus promises us this (verse 21), “To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.”

If you missed that part, let me give you play by play- God does not stop loving or pursuing us, still we are reminded that all who have "ears", have been called to act on the strong convictions that are of God... and even though we will struggle and face adversity, those who overcome have been invited to the throne of our Father in heaven, sharing this seat with Jesus.

AMEN ("GLORY" and "HALLELUJAH" are also acceptable responses to this amazing truth).

Pure Innocence

2011-02-13T22:33:00.004-06:00

When you were younger, what did you always want to be when you grew up? It’s okay, no one will make fun of you for bringing up your old childhood dreams… I won’t have any of that on my blog.

For me, I always wanted to be a detective, or an FBI agent, I was always drawn to puzzles and mysteries… some days I wanted to be a pro-athlete, soccer mostly… other times when I felt a little more adventurous I dreamt of being Indiana Jones, a Ninja Turtle, or even Peter Parker (That is Spiderman for you old folks)… But that was back in the day when we were able to dream, encouraged to dream. Now, I have this feeling that I’m too old to dream… that I have to think “rationally” and refrain from stirring emotions, why?

Why is it that as adults we no longer dream? Where has our “pure innocence” gone?

I know I’m not the only one, but somewhere in this adult transformation I learned to be rational, limited, and boring. Every time we dream our ideas our challenged by our friends, family, and even ourselves.

What happened to dreaming big? What happened to being the change we wish to see in the world? Are we really that okay with our comfortable lives that we’ve lost all reason to dream big, and dream often?

It’s okay; I’m not going to be entirely pessimistic tonight. In fact, I do believe that adults are still capable of dreaming, and dreaming big. We may not dream in the same elaborate fashion that we used to when we were young, but we still wish to see change in the world… and we still feel strong emotions toward these changes.

If you are feeling strong emotions, it’s my inclination to say that those are feelings that are not meant to be ignored. Instead, those feelings should receive extra close attention. When God calls us to move we will feel that desire to move strongly. And knowing that these emotions were placed in your heart by God requires action, no more waiting for the next person…

It’s time to dream again, and it’s time to take action. The first steps might seem so insignificant, and sometimes it is so hard to simply get started, but getting started is the part where people fail far to often.

The bottom line: Dream big… Dream often… Get started....

(Credit to Grant for reminding me to “dream often”, props roommate.)

I Found God… in the Red Light District

2011-01-30T22:54:00.005-06:00

Yesterday was the culmination of too many amazing encounters, I just had to stop and put these thoughts on paper. And if you are confused by the title of this post, don’t worry, just keep reading and it will all make sense.

If the amazing weather, great company, and an incredible day spent outside climbing at Foster Falls wasn’t perfect enough… It got even better when shared with new friends, and what seemed to be nearly half of my student staff. Even though our group started out as four, we ran into another small party of ours early in the afternoon and met some new friends not long after.

Ally, Sam, and @JacuiBA were taking Kaley climbing outside for her 18^th birthday. We stopped to chat, I sang “Happy Birthday” in Espanish, and then made our way towards the Red Light District (The name of a small section of wall at Foster Falls) where we were going to eat lunch and wait our turn to get some climbing in. It wasn’t too long till the girls made their way towards the Red Light District as well, where we to ran into more friends from Chattanooga. Finally, after eating a quick lunch… we spent most of the early afternoon climbing, enjoying good company, and talking about God.

So there I was, ironically enough, in the “Red Light District”… climbing a route called “Timeless Christian Values”… and listening to my student staff share in an incredible conversation about Christ with some friends we met only an hour before. I heard conversations of God’s faithfulness and provision, as well as some incredible facts about the Bible and some of its “hidden” messages. With all this going on, I sat there thinking about all of the incredible people I’ve met within the last few weeks and could help but sit there completely amazed at this Spirit of God that brings complete strangers together in amazing community.

While getting ready to hike out Andrew made a comment that this day was probably the closest thing he has experienced to heaven on earth… I may just have to agree.

------

Oh how I love talking to people about God, even listening to others talk about God makes me “smile real big” inside. I don’t know if anything else brings me more happiness than when two people who have spent absolutely no time together can talk for hours about the goodness of God. It reminds me of the unity that Paul talks about in Romans 15.

“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

The bottom line… God is faithful, that is all there is too it. He is so many other amazing things as well, but in my life (and I bet in yours too) he has most certainly been faithful.

This last month I’ve been asking God for “community”, and his response to these prayers has been incredible… I guess finding God in the Red Light District really made me realize just how faithful God has been this last year. Special thanks to all who’ve been able to share in these amazing experiences, you guys have truly been a testament to God’s faithfulness in my life.

Romans 15:5-6

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Positive Thinking

2011-01-26T00:22:00.000-06:00

Okay, I realize that a few of my last postings have had a negative subject line… but really the truth behind all that seems “negative” is quite encouraging. In all of our failings, sufferings, fears and doubts, God never intended for us to do all of this alone. In my shortcomings, struggles, and fear of God asking me to live uncomfortably I have been reminded of one of God’s promises to all of us… I’m not talking about the warm and fuzzy grace and love either (well, not in the sense our minds are conditioned to think). I’m talking about the promises of the Holy Spirit.

While I am in the process of strengthening my relationship with the Holy Spirit and better understanding His gift, I usually fail to recognize one important truth. The Spirit is God in us. Really, He is in us and he never leaves, and He is always there to help guide me in my decisions (that is, when I let Him) and he is always there to convict me when I am not living out God’s will in my life.

We have been promised so much strength and comfort it’s hard to believe I have spent any time at all worrying and stressing over things that are really quite insignificant. If you haven’t read what we have been promised by the Holy Spirit I urge you to read the Gospel of John, chapters 14-16.

The quick list God has promised me (and you):

· Anyone who has faith in Jesus will do even greater things than He did, can I get an amen? (John 14:12)

· He has given us the Holy Spirit to be with us forever! He will live with us and in us! (John 14:16-21)

· He will teach us and remind us of all that Jesus told us, this is something I need constantly. (John 14:26)

· If we remain in Jesus, and intentionally live out his teachings, we can ask whatever we want and it will be given us. I believe as we live intentionally for Him, our dreams and passions begin to line up more closely with God’s will for our life. (John 15:7)

· He will testify the greatness of Jesus, through us. I love it when “I” say or do things that are unexplainable, things that can only be explained by the power of God… and the only explanation is the Spirit in me. (John 15: 26)

· He will convict the world of guild in regards to sin and righteousness. While this seems like the gloom of what we have been promised, conviction is a good thing! Without conviction we have no longer allowed God to work on our hearts. (John 16: 8)

· He will guide you into all truth. If this doesn’t comfort you I don’t think anything will. At a time in my life where I am very unsure of what is coming next, I am confident that God will remain faithful in this promise and look for (John 16: 13)

· He will reveal to us the glory of God, even though I don’t think I can fully grasp this concept the thought of it excites me. (John 16:14)

What does all of this mean for me? It means that I will never have to struggle, fall, or make tough decisions on my own. It means that when I ask God for wisdom and guidance he will give it, and he will encourage me towards truth. It means that even though I may become distracted, I will be convicted in the areas of life I need to remove sin. It means that when I struggle to make the connection that I can never escape God’s presence (Psalm 139) that the Holy Spirit will be there to remind me how to live like Christ.

It always sounds so simple on paper; just remember Jesus’ promise of the Holy Spirit. And hopefully the simple realization of God’s promises to me through the Holy Spirit will change things… I am confident they will. Even though these struggles and distractions will never fully go away, I will never have to deal with them alone. How’s that for a positive thought?

Verse of an undetermined period of time:

John 14:15-17

“If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him or knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.”

Do I really want this?

2011-01-18T20:58:00.000-06:00

“What if God does show up but then he asks you to go somewhere or do something that’s uncomfortable?”

Francis Chan- Forgotten God

When we submit our lives to God, to be “subjects of His will”, are we really ready for all that he has planned for us?

As followers of Christ, in a society that may not always share our beliefs, we are going to be called to situations that are uncomfortable. God may call us to minister to an area or people group where the quality of life is not nearly as comfortable as that which we’re used to. Am I fully aware of the discomfort that I may be subject too, or do I just want the feel good sensation of “grace”? Am I prepared to trust that what God has planned for me is so much better than what I may believe to be comfortable or safe? Am I Ready?

It seems like such an easy question, one that I feel I would readily respond, “Yes, of course!” But in my own reflections, I believe anyone would struggle with this question and what it might mean. We worry about little things all the time, like what to wear or what to say… why wouldn’t we worry about what God may ask us to do or stop doing, or where He could ask us to go. While the Church does, and should, preach all the great messages of salvation and grace, I feel I have not been challenged to pursue other important subjects. Subjects that may result in a little “discomfort” at times… like trust, faith, evangelism, and patience… to name a few.

When it comes down to it, I do not feel that I have fully surrendered my life to allow the Holy Spirit to remove the fear in my life, but I believe I am in the process. While I wish for the Spirit of God to work in and through me, and I believe fully that He does, I still struggle with thoughts of what others believe… both Christ followers and those who aren’t. I struggle with the thought of rejection of some of my closest friends when I share my beliefs. I struggle with the thought that I may be called to give up everything. Even though right now it is easy to say, “Here I am Lord, send me…” I hope that I will be ready when the Lord asks me.

I say “when”, instead of “if”, because I believe all of us will be called to something much greater, and more “uncomfortable” than we know. Please do not think that the Lord will call all of us to give up everything, but he will call us to a life that goes against what much of society believes, and even what many churches may consider right and acceptable. The greatest thing about this calling in our life is that God has also promised us something amazing, the Spirit of Truth (the Holy Spirit, the Counselor, God in us). Pursuing this promise has proven to be one of the greatest benefits to my relationship with God, and has also removed a lot of fears I have over God’s calling in my life… My fear has turned into excitement in many cases, with the anticipation of growing so much closer to Him.

So I will ask again, do I really desire God to show up when I ask Him? Absolutely, and I hope He shows up for you as well. It is my prayer that the Spirit is so alive in my life (and yours) that what seems uncomfortable now, would not be uncomfortable at all, but exciting and adventurous.

Merry Christmas! Thank you Jesus for my... Suffering?

2010-12-24T19:17:00.001-06:00

In this last week of being home I have seemed to come across a few common themes while visiting my home Church in Colorado and the book I have been reading, The Life You’ve Always Wanted, by John Ortberg. The themes: suffering and perseverance.

On Sunday, Pastor Jim spoke from Luke 2:25-35. Simeon, a faithful and devoted servant of God, spoke of Jesus’ reign to come, “This child is destined to cause the falling and the rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

In the spirit of Christmas we celebrate all that Christ means to us, but has it ever crossed your mind to thank Jesus for our suffering, especially on Christmas? As much as I hate struggling, suffering, and falling, I would be missing an important part of what Christ has done for me. So during this Christmas season, I have been challenged to be thankful for all that I have suffered and learned… Merry Christmas? I would say so! While I would never wish to suffer, or fall, I may never have to suffer again in the same way because I have persevered and matured. So in the spirit of Christmas, be thankful for all that you have learned through suffering and persevering.

What does it mean to rise and fall? Jesus came, and he challenged the way viewed God. His life was the perfect example of rising, falling, and rising again (both metaphorically and literally). Though he has given us grace and truth, and calling us to much more in life than our own wants and needs, it is by no means an easy calling. When Christ came to give us “life to the fullest”, we were given the opportunity to rise and fall.

I’ve come to understand that falling is inevitable, and as Pastor Jim put, “You have to fall in order to rise”. Life, and life in Christ, will present many challenges and struggles. Whether they be physical, mental, professional, spiritual, relational, or financial, suffering allows us a most precious opportunity to learn. Falling can take many shapes, but I also believe falling challenges our faith to mature much faster than we would be willing when life is easy, as found in James 1:2-4.

In my most recent reading, John Ortberg makes a very good point about suffering.

“Suffering alone does not produce perseverance, only suffering that is endured somehow in faith…”

When we make the wholehearted effort to pursue God, we will suffer; but it is only suffering endured through faith in His will for us can we really persevere. Otherwise we are just surviving, not persevering. When we struggle, our hearts are revealed as Simeon stated in Luke 2. I don’t want survive; I want to persevere. I wish I could say that has always been the case, but I am grateful for the challenge to suffer in new ways and with a new heart.

Are we going to show faithfulness to God when times get tough, or only when things are good and easy? Are we willing to let God work through our struggles, or do we want to hold onto our own hopes and dreams and not trust that what God has for us is so much more than we could ever hope and dream? I hope so, and I think God is faithful and will send us the encouragement we need to endure the suffering and see Him work mightily in us and through us.

Christ came and suffered for us, more than we will ever be able to fully understand. In his coming we have been given the same great honor, to rise and fall, and hopefully transform into the great tool he intended us to be… Merry Christmas, may you fall and rise, may you suffer and persevere, and may you be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

To be, or not to be... Intentional

2010-11-29T09:04:00.000-06:00

I grabbed a book off my bookshelf before I left for Thanksgiving break, The Life You’ve Always Wanted by John Ortberg, I’ve had this book for years but have never made it past chapter one (may not have gotten past page one). Even though it was given to me by my friends in University Ministries I have always looked at the title and couldn’t help thinking that this was totally going to be a “self help” book, and would continue putting it aside for when my “self” needed a little more “help”.

What is that saying… “Never judge a ‘self help’ book on spiritual disciplines by its cover”? I think that’s it.

While I’ve had every intention of getting through all of the books given to me by respected friends, I’ve had this one for nearly four years. I wouldn’t even necessarily say that I’m in the “self help” mindset, I just so happened to have lent another book I was reading to friend who I thought might be inspired by it, and now I was stuck with a short break from school, and no book. Time for a little dose of “self help” I guess…

Regardless of the reasons causing me to start this book, I’ve been challenged to think about some of the early points that this book has presented. Specifically, the one that caught my attention the most, how is my spiritual health or how would I describe my spiritual life?

What defines our spiritual life? When someone asks, “How is your spiritual life?” what is the first thing that you think? Is it a list of acts or spiritual disciplines that we have or have not done recently? Maybe we just regurgitate something that we had recently read in a book, or even the Bible… but do these phrases, actions, or even inactions, truly describe the state of my spiritual life?

If you aren’t sure what actions I am referring to, let me offer a brief list: quite time, reading the Bible daily, going to church, skipping church, journaling (daily, weekly, or however often), praying… these are all things that I should do if I want to be closer to Jesus, but by saying that I do these things can I truly describe how my spiritual life is doing? Don’t get me wrong, all of these are important spiritual disciplines, but I have found that I can do all of these things and still lose sight of God. When my heart is not behind each action, I just begin to walk through the motions, hoping that these things I do will tell everyone else that I am spiritually on my game.

My most recent understanding of my spiritual life looks something like this: Instead of showing everyone how big my spiritual-daily-to-do-list is, and flexing my spiritual biceps (and essentially feeding my spiritual ego)… it is the way I interact with others, what I’ve learned from trying to complete that lengthy to-do list, or even things that I currently struggle with, that should best represent my spiritual life… If anyone is like me, we easily look past the purpose of what we are doing, and begin to just do it… That’s when these ever so important spiritual disciplines turn into a checklist.

Read my bible… check.

Prayed… check.

Prayed longer than yesterday… check!

Journaled… check.

Went to church… check.

Fellowship with both believers and non-believers… check.

Did all of this with the intent of learning more about, and growing closer to, God… ____ (yeah, workin on that one)

After I’ve completed my checklist I seem to have missed the very most important point… Intentionality! If I do all of the things on the list and fail to remember that I am His, and I am living for Him, I am just another Pharisee who’s pride has removed the greatness of God from being spiritually disciplined.

If I had to try to pinpoint my biggest distraction to my spiritual disciplines, it would have to be pride. Pride, it can be so sneaky and can easily reverse my perfectly pure and humble intentions if I’m not careful. When I am doing “great” at pursuing Jesus, I become proud of “my” accomplishments and how much I have increased my learning and understanding of Him. Then I forget I am a sinner and I still need grace, every minute of every day. That is when pride sneaks in and knocks me back.

In the end, what have I learned, what have I struggled with, whom have I showed the love of Jesus to? Those are the things that I should begin to define the current state of my spiritual life, or spiritual health. It doesn’t have to be all the things that I have done, even though we know that it is important to be spiritually disciplined and express our faith through our actions. But actions lacking intention are sure to miss the mark (sin reference). The good news is that others can challenge us when our actions become aimless and unintentional. Living intentionally can't be easy for the average, easily distracted and prideful, American... but knowing how important intentionality is for our own spiritual health and our witness has to be half the battle.

Battle on!

My new verse for an undetermined period of time-
James 4:8

Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded

Where can I go?

2010-11-01T00:37:00.000-05:00

"Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. "
- Psalms 139:7-10

This verse was brought to my attention a few weeks ago by a member of my Outdoor Pursuits staff while backpacking over fall break with 6 other students. Since then I cannot get this passage out of my head, not that I want to, but there is clearly power behind the words in this psalm that has really spoken to me during these busy and stressful times.

Had it not been for our backpacking trip, I probably would have lost all sanity before the end of the semester... and had it not been for Ally bringing this passage up for our Sunday morning devotional, I would probably still be frustrated with many of the uncertainties of life and all the work that I am putting in towards an undetermined goal. So for that I would like to give Ally due credit for a very appropriate, and compelling, devotional... one that I am still thinking about three weeks later.

Which brings me back to the title of this post... "Where can I go?" Where can I go to escape God's presence? Why would I want to go? And even if I don't want to escape God's presence, why am I so persistent to "ignore" or avoid God in all of his glory? For some reason I always feel like I we has humans have to make a conscious effort to escape God, when in all actuality we are simple minded and forgetful.

While the above questions are all great questions, ones which I have no great answer for, I almost do feel like we have to make a conscious effort to escape God. Accord to Psalm 139, we cannot escape... and while I never try to run from God, I hate how my undisciplined human nature will so easily take over and I simply forget those things most important to me. I have found that in reflecting on this passage for three weeks I have seen or experienced God in more ways than I had previously noticed... yet when I look back on it, I feel like it should have been obvious all along.

God is not just out there in creation waiting for us to discover Him, even though that is another incredible experience. We can constantly experience God in how we interact with others, God created us in His image and gave us the ability to feel joy, love, concern, etc... God is made up of all that is good, and he has also given us the ability to discern and hate evil. During our travel I was able to experience a lot of emotions, some of which were of frustration and impatience... But more than anything else, God was in our presence. There was an incredibly strong sense of community and participants opened up to each other almost immediately. There was genuine concern for others' well being, health, comfort, and so on... but there was more trust, joy, and love shared during the duration of our three days than other trip I had ever experienced.

When I started thinking about this I was challenged to look for other areas that we may experience God, or areas which we cannot escape His presence...

As I started to read through Psalms 139 more and more I realized that there is absolutely nothing we can do to "escape" God, intentional or not. He is constantly chasing us down as we get caught up in the business of life, everyday distractions, good choices and poor choices... He is there to lead us, and to hold us in the palm of his hand. When you know that God is there, or at least when I know God is there, it makes all of life's toughest decisions seem a lot less difficult. The hardest part is being reminded of that trust, so we can forget about worrying. (easy right?) I wish it was that easy, it's not... and just like everything else it takes discipline to remember how much God loves us, and how he is in constant pursuit of me.

Challenging myself to recognize areas where I can see (feel/sense/hear... whatevs you call it) has drastically changed the way I think about trust and faith. While I'm not certain what I'll be doing, or where I'll be going, after May, I have a pretty good feeling God will be there with me. I've also been challenged to look for God in human interaction, the way I treat people and the way others treat me. Service and love are both ways in which we challenge people to "experience" God around them... It's funny, but to me it sounds a lot like the idea of "paying it forward". The way you treat others can greatly influence how they will treat those they encounter. How we lead others will challenge them to lead others in a similar fashion (that is if they experienced positive growth).

In thinking about this idea of never being able to escape God I've challenged myself in how I go about my regular day. Instead of focusing on all the negatives of the day, I hope that "looking" for God will really humble me in spite of my busy schedule, and chances are it will be less likely that I will slip into my forgetful state.

Just thought I'd add a few photos from our trip to Big South Fork.

One of my favorite photos from the trip, campfire fun. That's Ben and I on the right eating all the left over chili we made, and Savannah on the left there getting hydrated for day 3!

Grant said we were lost.... I say he's a bit lost.

I hate to admit it, but those hiking symbols are terribly accurate when it comes to actual technique. Who would have thought?

Oh how time flies... when you work all the time?

2010-10-02T00:16:00.000-05:00

Now that I have found five minutes to look at a calendar, it's upsetting to begin wondering where all my time has gone... It is amazing to think about the last 5 weeks that have passed, it really was not that long ago. But at the same time feel like I've been locked in time, not moving anywhere, for at least 3 months... I hope that is not the case, because I really am looking forward to the end of this semester.

Now, back to it... Time to get back to the e-journal... sorry to anyone waiting for the pictures from the summer. I've continued to experience some technical difficulties. I hope to not keep anyone waiting much longer, but I have hardly found time to put these few thoughts on paper, so don't hold your breath.

This week's verse (I should probably say, "the verse for an undetermined period of time" just to be safe) has been in my thoughts and in my conversation for weeks... and I am just now acting on the conviction I felt three weeks ago after first discussing it during Bible study.

I Timothy 4:8-10

Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.

This is true, and everyone should accept it. We work hard and suffer much in order that people will believe the truth, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and particularly of those who believe.

How easy is it to neglect our physical needs, especially when we are busy? Why is it then that it is even easier to neglect our spiritual needs? I feel like I visit this topic time and time again. I don't make enough time, shouldn't making time be easy for a gracious and merciful God? So many questions, and yet the answers seem so simple. Why haven't I given God my best of everything, and not just the best of what I want to give- isn't he deserving?

Yes, he is more than deserving... and I still struggle with my own selfish human desires. Why can't I strive to give God my best, like I feel I do more often for work and for class? Outside of what Paul is saying in I Timothy, I believe I need God's help to love him. Are we as humans capable of loving anything unconditionally, even God himself? While I wish it were true, and with God's help I believe we can come very close. The fact of the matter is, we are incapable of loving as God loves...

That's what it comes down to I guess, disciplined love. Or at least a passionate pursuit of the Love that has been given us.

A friend, b_bOss recently reminded me via his "tweeter"
- "My favorite things in life are the most consistent ones".

I couldn't agree more, and I can't think of anything more consistent than the grace given to me for my imperfections and my shortcomings. People will let me down, and I hope I will not love them any less for it... I will continue to struggle with business and distractions, but I hope that I will love God more through it... Thank God, that he will not love me any less, and is deserving of my absolute best.

Good times, great people, lasting memories.... Summer Reflection 2010

2010-08-08T09:20:00.000-05:00

Towards the end of the summer I've found it difficult to find the time, and desire sometimes, to sit down and put a couple of thoughts together about the summer. As they say, time flies when you are having fun... and it flies by even faster when you are having fun and save little time to think/relax.

There really is no way to sum up my summer in words, but I will still try my best. The experiences that I have had with the Seahorses during the last two summers is a great reminder to put God first in all the we do. Soccer was pretty much all I did for a good part of my life, it wasn't until high school that I wanted God to be a part of that. It hasn't always been easy... but over time, with God's help, it will.

So much has happened in the last month, I'm still recovering from a nagging injury acquired while playing against BYU in Utah, but I've managed to play in a few games since then and notching my first goal of my PDL career. We finished the season 5th in the region at 6-7-3. I missed a handful of games because I was not well prepared when I arrived, and then getting hit pretty hard in Utah would sideline me for 3 games or so. Had it been with any other organization, I would have struggled being injured and not on the field. However, with the seahorses there is so much more to our season than just soccer.

I was able to see God working in and around me and was encouraged to really seek God in my time "off". We continued as usual with our SMT time before practices, and our 4 weeks of youth camp didn't slow down for any injuries. The time spent doing bible study continued, and it included much encouragement for me and for others who weren't healthy enough to play. We were truly able to see lives changed, both in my teammates and with the young players that we coached.

At camps it was business as usual, like last year, with the return of Coach Mustache (Senior Bigote). We had some great campers, and we had some terrors, but they all left lasting impressions with all of the coaches there. There is nothing better than a job that requires you to act ten years younger than you are, especially when that's what you want to do most of the time anyways.

Mexico was incredible, as I said in my earlier blog it was incredibly encouraging just to be able to show who we are and what we believe by playing a game of soccer. It didn't matter that many of our players didn't speak Spanish, and others like myself didn't speak Spanish well, but still were able to communicate about things important to us. We met non believers, believers, youth pastors, former professionals, and non soccer players just by playing soccer and playing soccer well.

After season ended in the last week of July, I made my way back to Colorado where I have been for the last 10 days catching up with friends and family, and helping one friend find work here in the valley while she saves up for grad school. Fortunately I've been able to visit just about everyone who is around and find some time for myself. The time off has given me a chance to think back and reflect on where God has taken me, and only imagine where I'll be going to next. The truth is God has been good, and he has challenged me to keep on keeping on with what I love, but not without him and not without others.

A special thanks to all who supported me financially and through prayer this summer, it could not have been possible without your help!

Last thing, I've meant to put a link up to this website for a year... it was passed along to me by a friend and I was recently reminded about it when talking with him (even though he never brought it up). If you want to equip the saints with the tools they need, check out Bibles Unbound. They look to get copies of the New Testament to those who have no means to get them. http://www.biblesunboundmovie.com/

Verse for the week (or undetermined period of time):
Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work at it with all your hear as if working for the Lord, not for me.

Here are a few photos from my summer! Enjoy!
(My computer is being silly, I'll upload them ASAP)

Whatever it takes...

2010-07-13T15:42:00.000-05:00

"God, bring me closer to You.... whatever it takes."

Francis Chan challenges his readers to ask God to bring them closer to him, whatever it takes.

This statement really hit home with me, I ask God to bring me closer to Him constantly... but do I truly mean that I want to be closer to Him no matter what it takes, no matter how uncomfortable that it could be, or no matter what I lose in the process. Until I recited these words, "whatever it takes", I don't believe I truly understood what I was asking God to do in my life.

It's scary to ask God to do whatever it takes to get your full attention, because there is no limit to what that might mean. Would I be more focused on my comfortable way of life, or would I let God get my attention by taking some of my comforts away? I don't know, I want to say that I would be open to God working in my life even if it meant being uncomfortable... but I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that God has to make us uncomfortable to get our attention. However, if there are more people out there like me (and I am sure there are), becoming comfortable with wear we are often distracts me from further pursuing God in my life. I don't necessarily want to be uncomfortable, but I want to be closer to Him... even if it means being uncomfortable.

I heard a friend of mine's band on the radio the other day, they recently released their new single, "You Can Have Me" by the Sidewalk Prophets. I never listened to the lyrics that closely but when I sat there listening... I realized it was talking about the exact same thing I had been thinking about.

The Lyrics-
If I saw You on the street
And You said come and follow me
But I had to give up everything
All I once held dear and all of my dreams
Would I love You enough to let go
Or would my love run dry
When You asked for my life

CHORUS:
When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

Jesus wants all of me, not just bits and pieces... But am I willing to give up everything for Jesus if God asked me to... Or would I be okay if God took everything away to get my attention? Or as the song puts it, "Would I love Him enough to let go, or would my love run dry, when He asked for my life?"

I want to say that I am rooted enough in Christ that I could let go, I hope it never comes down to it... but when I ask God to draw me closer to Him, whatever it takes... I want to mean it.

God, bring me closer to You, whatever it takes.... Father of Love, you can have me.

Matthew 4:19
"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men."

Just a little update...

2010-06-23T18:20:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the gap in any blog updates. The last few weeks have been crazy with a road trip to Utah and the beginning of our summer soccer camps. While I have been busy, my experience has been invaluable... even in my second season with the Seahorses.

As my last blog includes some information regarding our trip to Mexico, Don Godwin (the pastor of Hope Chapel) wrote a great summary of our six day trip in their Church's blog titled Seahorse Crazy. It is quite extensive, but if you have the time I greatly encourage clicking the provided link and checking out his summary of the week, accompanied by some great photos as well.

Simply being able to encourage the Godwin family was already incredibly rewarding, when you include all the relationships that were built and the opportunities that came up, the trip itself was simply unbelievable. All those who participated came back with a new perspective of being a Sports Minister, and how useful soccer can be to engage people and culture.

As far as the soccer goes, I've been fighting a few minor knocks... a couple of ankle sprains and the last week getting a nice big dead leg that spread over my entire thigh (I do not expect this to go away any time soon). Fortunately, I can still play... but some days it's a bit more of a struggle than others. Hopefully I'll be back to 100% here soon, we've got a few important games coming up against the Fresno Fuego.

As of now we stand 3-5-1. After starting out 2-0 this is not exactly where we had planned to be, but we can't go back to the 'what ifs' now. Time to work out our own kinks, do the little things right... no excuses, no explanations (Tony Dungy).

Our topic for SMT tonight was "Taming the Tongue"... It was a nice time to reflect over James 3, analyze the power of our words (not just our actions), and how we might take Salomon's advice a little bit more to heart... being quick to listen and slow to speak. It's crazy what words can do to a person. And from conversation your words are the hardest to tame because they are a true representation of the condition of your heart. However, we can gain self control over what we say. We don't always have to express the condition of our heart, and sometimes it would be best not to because someone may take offense to what we say... I believe that control only comes from giving God our best and our first, seeking after Him, and pursuing His love. This brings me to the verse of the week (or undetermined period of time):

Proverbs 15:4
The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life,
but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

I know I have left a lot out, but time and sleep are hard to come by these days so I will hope to update again this weekend. Please keep praying for my time here in California as well as for those we met in Mexico.

Blessings,

Cyrus

PDL outreach to Rosarito Mexico.

2010-06-11T22:54:00.001-05:00

Even though we made it back on Monday, it's taken me a week to get these photos uploaded onto my computer. I won't say too much about the trip, I'll let the photos do most of the talking.

Overall, there were 11 of us total who made the trip (with the addition of 2 others on the weekend). We partnered with a missionary family from Huntington Beach California, the Godwin family. Our role: play soccer. After a few of our games we would tell people about our ministry, have food, and invite them to events and game later that week. A few of the people we would play against we saw more than once.

The Godwin family and the associate pastor Carlos were very encouraged by how soccer simply allowed us to get places (like a local school) that they have been hoping to gain access to for quite some time.

While most of those of us who were able to go shared many of the same thoughts... we didn't think that we did anything spectacular on this trip, but we were encouraged to see how God used a game we love to help encourage the Godwin family and open new doors for them to share the good news.

There will be plenty more thoughts to come, but enjoy the photos for now.

View from behind the Church

Talking to the youth group about the Seahorses and about why I play soccer.

Hosting a clinic to the school in Vista Marina.

The kids at the Vista Marina school just before the Clinic started.

Getting ready for a game of "Shooter Keeper"

After our first game at Primo Tapia.

Playing in our second game at Primo Tapia.

Playing a game of "Head Catch" with the young ones while we waited to play on the court.

A group photo after our tournament on the "Cancha Rapida", we hosted an indoor tournament with Hope Chapel and had a great turn out. Afterwards Nate Wood was able to share his story.

We also played a game against the team the Godwin's sponsor. "Hope Chapel".

We played a game against some locals of Vista Marina on the big field as well.

Coach Todd using the "evangecube" to share the story of Jesus to the kids after a game of Head Catch.

This was my "room with a view" for the week. I decided to sleep outside after the firs night inside. It wasn't bad waking up to the ocean every morning.

The Profile of the Lukewarm

2010-05-29T13:30:00.000-05:00

So we've been reading this book for our SMT discussions, Crazy Love by Francis Chan. While everything that Chan writes about is straight from the Bible, there is something about how he puts things that make his words so convicting.

The God of the universe, does not need us, yet He still loves us so much He continues to pursue us. The reverse is what we most commonly see. We need God, but often times we act like we don't want Him or that we don't really love Him, we just love his stuff.

"Even though we could die at any moment and generally think our puny lives are pretty sweet compared to loving Him, He persists in loving us with unending, outrageous love."
-Francis Chan, Crazy Love

In Chan's fourth chapter he gives various examples that would categorize different profiles of the "Lukewarm", or people who have become useless to God's cause through their actions and lack of conviction. The problem (or the answer) with the profiles that Chan presents, is I fall into just about everyone of them at some point or another. I struggle with some more than others, but I still know that I am guilty of just about everyone of them. Now I hope it is not just me, and I am pretty confident that I am not alone in this, but so many of us struggle to understand Christ's love before we are able to show it.

Is this because we are unable to fully understand unconditional love, or that our God would give us a gift of grace that we often times knowingly reject? Francis Chan starts our one of his chapters by saying just that... "Most of us, to some degree, have a difficult time understanding, believing, or accepting God's absolute unlimited love for us."

How could something so great, be so easily forgotten?

My best guess, and personal understanding, is that we relate our experiences with "love" (from friends, family, and even the love of ourselves), to God's love. We have trouble separating conditional, from unconditional.

Still, we know it... but we don't always act on it. Do we change our thoughts and actions, or do we keep on doing what we are doing without God. While I wish I could say that I love God so much that I am always aware of His love for me and that I live my life in accordance with His will and not my own, I cannot. Like so many others I have fallen into all of these categories of Lukewarmness. Here's Chan's short list of what many Christians do, believe, or think on a regular basis. Just a warning, it may hurt.

LUKEWARM people may still...
attend Church fairly regularly (it is what they believe a "good Christian" does)
give to charity and to church (as long as it doesn't impinge on their standard of living)

LUKEWARM people...
Tend to chose what is popular over what is right (they care more about what people think of their actions more than what God thinks)
Don't really want to be saved from their sin (they just want to be saved from the penalty of sin, is this new life really better than my old sinful one?)
Gauge their morality or "goodness" by comparing their lives to others' (being better person does not make you a Christian)
Only allow Jesus in a section of their time, money, and thoughts... He isn't allowed to control their lives.
Love God, but not with all their heart, soul, strength, and mind.
tend to focus their love on others who will "love" them in return.
Do whatever is necessary to keep them from feeling to guilty.
Probably drink and swear less (but other than that they aren't much different from most other unbelievers)

Basically, we are all guilty of a lot of these things... but a life characterized by a pursuits of God and not a flee from punishment is the kind of love God wants from us. I had a hard time reading this chapter without trying to justify why I fell into some of these categories, And i kept thinking, "No way am I LUKEWARM."

The reality is, as Francis Chan puts it, none of us are immune to these actions and thoughts. The difference is a life that is characterized by these actions versus someone who consciously struggles to correct these issues of lukewarmness. I hope that I am struggling.

This leads me to my verse of the week.
James 4:8
Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Draw near to God, pursue Him wholeheartedly and you will realize how He is in constant pursuits of you.

What defines me?

2010-05-26T14:33:00.000-05:00

Back at it... while I am enjoying being back into a regular training schedule with a solid group of guys, it's a lot harder getting back into shape then I ever remember. But, I've learned where I am at physically has changed over the last few months. My time spent climbing, and backpacking doesn't really prepare me to be physically fit for a soccer season (not that I thought I was preparing for soccer by climbing). However, with not being as prepared as I thought I had been, it has shown in my performance on the field.

With my performance being below expectations, I have this crazy notion that I can no longer lead if I am not playing to the best of my ability. Instead, I've been challenged to remember that I am not defined by how I perform on the field. What will really show my true colors is how I react to my performance both in words and in actions.

The easy part is knowing that I have some ground to make up for as a player... but the hard part was conitnuing to lead new players as a player and as a sports minister. I found myself struck by silence, I felt that because I was not playing well I couldn't say things that needed to be said. With the encouragement of a teammate and some reflection, I was able to talk to the team and aplogizie for my unpreparedness as well as challenege everybody to pick up the slack in their own lives and training.

While the season is still early, we have 11 games left to come out of this 3 game losing streak and make a playoff run. Something that hasn't happened in 5 years. Still, whatever the end of the season has for me I have re-learned a valuable lesson. My identity is not in how I play, but how I reflect Jesus in my response to how I play. It is not how I perform at work, but how I glorify God while I at work. It is not from doing good things, it is from being loved by a God who is deserving of all my love and oftentimes doesn't recieve it.

I recently read in a book by Francis Chan, Crazy Love, that the ironic thing about God is that He doesn't need us... yet He still loves us. The reverse is that we need Him, and often times we do not give Him the love He deserves. Sometimes it has to start with remembering to love ourselves in our imperfections because God loves us in our imperfections. Shouldn't that be enough reason to love God and live a life free from sin?

Verse of the week:
Galations 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Good 'ol Californ-i-a

2010-05-22T02:25:00.001-05:00

As history will show I am not the best at updating my blog. With what feels like 3 months of my life has been lived in the last week and a half, I'll give myself a break on this one. For those who have supported me in my work this summer and want to keep tabs, forgive my lack of responses... I hope it won't happen again.

Starting a week ago from Thursday (8 days ago) I was still in the great state of Tennessee, since then I have driven through 10 different states, made a two day visit to Colorado, Listened to Tony Dungy's book Quiet Strength on CD... twice... moved into my summer California residence, got situated in the Seahorse office, made it to 3 days of training and played in our match this evening... No wonder it felt like 3 months

While I could go into details on a lot of these events, time is just now starting to catch up with me and hopefully I won't find myself nearly as busy to where I can't make a weekly post, if not more regular than that.

The most recent event, our road game against Ventura County Fusion, was a lesson in itself. I found myself back in the action, exactly where I left off from last season. Unfortunately, my season ended last summer with a Concussion on the same field with a run in with the keeper... I had almost wished I had been knocked out this game. We lost 3-0, and I can't say I was pleased with my performance. We'll just say I had a lot more kinks to work out than I thought, and I took home quite a few lessons from this game.

Coach had enough confidence to start me at left back, which I thought may happen because I had a decent week of practice... but I still wouldn't bet my house on it, or my lunch money. The team seems to be a lot different from last year, we appear stronger in some areas and may need to focus more on different areas from last year. Either way, today was not only a bad day for myself... it didn't seem to be anyone's day in general. The performance overall was tough to watch I am sure, but hopefully we can put this one behind us and look forward to our Sunday game against the O.C. Blue Stars.

It's always hard accepting not playing (or performing) to your potential... and not only in soccer, but in other aspects of life. I don't believe anything in life is guaranteed, and that often times the best things in life require a lot of work. I was definitely reminded how much more work other players have been putting into their soccer than myself. I was also reminded of a few things Coach Dungy said in his book, which I listened to twice on my way to Colorado and California. First, I have to take this loss just like any other loss, learn from it and move past it. Second, I can't blame anyone team member, the officials, or even myself for our loss (no excuses, no explanations). And lastly, if I want to get back to where I want to be as a soccer player, I need to start doing the easy things (simple things) better than anyone else... and that my friends, is where I am going to start- the basics.

Hopefully the overall attitude of the team recognizes the areas in which we need to change, but also understands that we have to cut our loss and move on to Sunday's game and try it again, but this time doing the simple things more consistently and with more energy.

That's it for now. Hope to update you all soon about my job duties and other cool things happening in the Seahorse office.

Blessings,

Cyrus

Count your blessings...

2010-05-09T23:55:00.000-05:00

"Count Your Blessings"
The words I found on a mud-covered sign at the first home we had worked at while helping flood victims here in Nashville. The sign seemed to have been left hanging for a reason. As home owners threw out nearly all of their possessions and gutted the inside of the first floor to just rafters and wires, this sign was still displayed on the front gate right inside the carport.

The whole time we were helping these people, I couldn't keep from thinking how terrible the whole ordeal must have been. So many families have lost hundreds of thousands, possibly millions, of dollars in possessions... countless items of sentimental value... and some lost family members... Even in spite of all these losses, the overall attitude did not seem to be beyond hope, despairing, or even portray the slightest bit of "oh poor me". The general attitude truly seemed to be- "Count Your Blessings".

The volunteer efforts from the Nashville community has been incredible, and those affected by the flood have noticed... and they've taken this whole ordeal as an opportunity to focus on the love and generosity that complete strangers have shown to them. For some unknown reason these people know that they have lost a lot, if not everything, and they show confidence that they will recover from this. The countless volunteers that have gone into affected communities has helped, but in the end the Nashville flood victims have shown much more livelihood than I could ever imagine anyone could even "put on" in their position.

Cheers to you Nashville, thanks for the simple reminder to keep counting my blessings...

Verse of the week-

II Peter 1:3,4

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

Gracious Uncertainty

2010-04-30T17:52:00.000-05:00

My Utmost for His Highest- April 29
Gracious Uncertainty.

"... To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring... We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the tasks He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises."

Can we really only be certain of one thing, God? All other aspects of life are subject to change at any given moment, conducted or orchestrated by God himself? Is this one way we perceive faith? It's hard for me to believe that in actively seeking God we are less certain, and at the same time I feel like I know exactly what Oswald Chambers is talking about. While I believe the usual routine is to look for God in our uncertainty, trusting that God is in control allows us to accept the uncertainty and even turns it into contentment or excitement.

In my personal experience I am not upset by uncertainty, but I cling tightly to the things that I am certain about (even in during my spiritual lows). I am certain that God is a God of love, I am certain that He continually has my best interest in mind (even in the toughest situations), I am certain that my God has a plan for me (even if I don't know what it looks like), I am certain that I will mistakes (and hopefully learn from them, I am most certain that I will never truly know what happens next.

Is it my certainty of what is uncertain, or of what is certain, that truly keeps me sane? I do not know, but I am comforted in knowing that I am certain of God and God's love for me, and I am certain that he is in control and not me. To me it sounds like a great recipe for some "safe" uncertainty.

I John 3:2

Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.

This has brought me to an understanding that certainty is only found through faith in God, and even though there are things we can be certain of... we will never truly know God's plan for us until he has mightily worked through us. Living a life in "uncertainty" really challenges one to trust God, building on their faith. Many of the things that we know to be true and only true by faith....

So what can I do with my uncertainty? Draw as close to God as possible, and he will draw near to me... giving me comfort in my uncertainty and possibly some clarity.