miracle o. ihuoma

DOES TIME REALLY HEAL?

2019-03-20T04:35:00.000-07:00

Have you heard this before "Time heals"? Well...I'm sure you've heard that in different versions and trust me I've also thought so until " recently" when I started to ask myself, does time truly heal? And it dawned on me like the morning that time doesn't really heal, yes you heard me right. Don't be too quick to get defensive, hear me out.

Time has a role, a major role actually to play in the healing process but every healing requires more than just TIME. Looking at natural wounds as a case study, you would discover that there are wounds that got worse with time until you applied something else called TREATMENT (I'll get back to this). When we get hit with ailments like malaria, thyphoid, etc why don't we just wait for time to pass to get healed? Most of us take drugs(whether native or English), injections and all to get cured and healed. So why do we invoke the principle of TIME when it comes to emotional healing?

Some of us might want to recall how certain wounds we had got healed over time without having to do anything extra- good point! But do you also realize that every time you get wounded and allow time heal it, the wound becomes a scar afterwards. But if the wound gets properly treated, there would be little or no scar? That's because the purpose of scars is to create a protective tissue which is tougher than your original skin so that you can be better protected in the future- now, even though the intention is good, scars don't make you look good and also points to the fact that you're also expecting that same thing to happen to you again. The same thing applies to emotional wounds, they create scrars when not properlly treated and these scars makes us sensitive, hardened and sometimes paranoid. And even though we might sometmes block out bad people from our lives, we also block out good ones. And remember that such scar would have been prevented if the wound was properly treated.

And many times what people call healing is one form or the other a psychological defense mechanism. So the fact that you can't consciously remember an emotionally painful incident does not mean you've been healed of it, it might just mean that you have repressed or suppressed it into the recesses of your unconscious mind. And with the right triggers the pain even though suppressed will come to the fore.

So what is my submission?

Time alone does not truly heal, TIME and TREATMENT does. So if you went through an emotional pain or trauma in the past, please go for treatment. And if you are going through an emotional pain presently, don't just wait for time to pass by, be proactive.

Get your life back!

Talk to a professional today!

I value you!

Miracle O. Ihuoma

LEARNED HELPLESSNESS II

2018-11-20T23:17:00.000-08:00

In the first part of this series, we started talking about how "learned helplessness" has held a lot of people down; stopping them to achieve their dreams and break free from negative beliefs, emotions and habits.

In this part of the series, we shall focus on the three pillars of learned helplessness. Dr Martin Seligman of the university of Pennsylvania has done intensive research on what creates learned helplessness and in his book "Learned Optimism" he reports on three specific patterns of belief that cause learned helplessness- Permanence, Perversiveness and Personal.

People who have entered the learned helplessness zone are people who feel that their situation is permanent. They feel like they won't be able to break free from that habit or emotion no matter how much they try. They forget that nothing is really permanent, it just depends on the choices you're making.

Secondly, they also think that, that situation is pervasive; that is it affects every other area of their life. It is therefore not alien to hear these people say something like "I'm a failure" "I'm not going to be good enough" and so on. Even if they might be succeeding in another area of their life say their finances, they become blind to it thinking that their whole life is in a mess. But my dear friend, your whole life is not in a mess! If you check well, there are at least five things going on well for you- quote me wrong if you see less than five.

And lastly, they take their failures personal. Instead of seeing failure as an event, they see it as a function of their personality. Anthony Robbins said "If we don't see failure as a challenge to modify our approach, but rather as a problem with ourselves, as a personal defect, we will immediately feel overwhelmed". Stop relating every negative thing that happens to you to that habit or emotion- detach yourself! You're not your habit neither are you that emotion- you are you just having challenges in that area. Do you get this? I'm sure you do.

As a drop my pen, I want you to make a decision to believe in yourself once again to change. I want you to never give up on yourself no matter what! I know you might be asking how the change would come because you most likely have tried all you know in the past and nothing worked. But even the best of therapists can do little or nothing if you don't bring your believe to the table- in fact, helping you to believe in yourself once again is therapeutic on its own and can just be the joker that you need.

Never forget that I'm here if you need to talk

I value you!

LEARNED HELPLESSNESS I

2018-11-19T09:24:00.000-08:00

A baby elephant was tied to a pole while growing up, it tried many times to free itself from the entanglement of that pole all to no avail. After many years, it grew to become a giant elephant and this time could break free from the rope and pole but pitifully, never tried. In fact, at a point the rope was removed from its legs but it has been unfortunately conditioned not to try because of the repeated failures of the past. The giant elephant was deprived of freedom because of learned helplessness.

Learned helpless can be defined as when people experience enough failure at something to a point where they feel they can no longer succeed in that area.

Learned helplessness is behavior typical of a human or an animal and occurs where the subject endures repeatedly painful or otherwise aversive stimuli which it is unable to escape or avoid. ... Such an organism is said to have acquired learned helplessness.

I find a lot of people on a daily basis who have learnt to be helpless in different areas of their lives...I've been there myself too. And that is why I'm writing this; because no one can truly change if they don't believe that they can change. I feel you especially if you have tried to change or stop a particular habit, all to no avail.

I want you to know that you can and will break that habit only if you accept that this is not the finality. Everything in life is learned and everything can be unlearnt. Whatever habit or addiction you seem to be struggling with right now didn't fall on you from birth; it was learnt and by following a particular process, it can be unlearnt.

I'm sure you've heard stories of people who were addicted to one thing or the other but then broke free after many years. That could be you too, yes! It can. I personally struggled with a habit for up to 7 years of my life but today I'm free because I chose to embrace change, I chose to believe in myself to make the right choice, no matter how long I had been making the wrong one.

Please don't give up on yourself!

Just like the 44th president of America said "Yes, you can!"

I believe you can become a better person. I believe you can break free from that addiction or habit!

The question is if I can believe that you can change, why can't you believe that you can?

If I can believe you will become a better person, why shouldn't you do the same?

And you know what?

The most important and empowering belief in this process is yours!

I sincerely want to help you through this process, do not hesitate to hit me up and let's begin!

I value you

ONE YEAR OFF

2018-11-15T04:50:00.005-08:00

I was in the university when I had a conversation with a young man who was about 17 years old at that time. The reason why his age is important to remember in this conversation is that he had dated about 19 ladies, oh yes you saw it right 19 ladies. I wasn't told, I engaged him personally and he called the names of the 19 ladies. According to him they could be more but those were the ones he could remember.

Wow!

I guess that's your exclamation too as it was mine the day he told me. Even though I put up a bold face, I cringed within me because I was older than him and hadn't recorded my first babe at that time.

Of course I had to advice him to go on a sabbatical leave for a while before going on with his escapades. I know not many of us have the same kind of experience with this young man but many of us as well have not stayed without a relationship for the last five years and it's not like we have been stock with one person but as soon as we finish with one person we're on to the next person without any space. And the funny thing is many people blame the previously failed relationship on the ex without looking at the possibility that they might have been missing something fundamental over time.

There is no way you would have been doing it right and yet have changed three relationships in three years- it is a pointer that something is wrong.

So my first advice would be to step back and take a break. And this is where a lot of people get it wrong too because they leave a vacuum without deliberately filling it up with something. So when you take the break, you want to ask yourself what the challenge is and introspectively determine where you need to make the necessary changes.

You need to get healed of past pains and heart break as they might be the things driving you to a journey of no return.

You want to get the requisite knowledge because that might just be the bridge between where you are and where you ought to be.

Join any of our next classes for an upgrade

Send an email to lifeaffairsinternational@gmail.com

I value you!

HOW ADDICTIONS ARE FORMED

2018-11-13T23:18:00.001-08:00

How does one who has never smoked before become a chain smoker after some time?

How does one who was a virgin some years back become a sex addict who can't stay without it for a day?

How do we explain that this person who tasted alcohol while he was 18 is now a serious drunk at 22?

It started from a bite of chocolate but it feels like my life depends on it, what's wrong with me?

I'm sure you can relate with these instances as you may fall into one of these category or know someone who does.

It is important to know how addictions are formed because when we do, it is easier to break free from them because there is a pattern or better still avoid them.

1. Every addiction starts from a thought. Yes, a thought. My mentor Praise Fowowe would say "A thought is not a sin until it is been given a thought". Thoughts are seeds- if you water them, they would grow. If you nuture them they would germinate and bear forth fruits. If you don't want a thought to grow, kill it from the very beginning, from the roots. In fact, it starts from UNCONSCIOUS thoughts, that means the thought flashed your mind without your deliberate effort. And then it swings over to CONSCIOUS thoughts if you allow it stay long enough. At this point, you deliberately allow the thoughts to flow.

2. If the seed of addiction successfully passes through the " Thought stage", it graduates to the ACTION stage. If you can hold it long enough in your mind,it will happen with time. If you can hold it long enough in your mind, it will happen in real time. Everything is created twice like a wise man posited, first in your mind and then in real life. The same goes with addictions.

And that is why EXPERIMENTATIONS can be dangerous. A lot of people, I mean a whole lot of people addicted to one thing or the other today, started out by experimenting. "Let me see how it is" "This is the only time I would try it" "Just this once" "Everybody is doing it so let me just try it out"- these statements have been the bane of so many. Don't be among the statistics.

3. HABIT: As it moves from conscious thoughts to action and then it becomes habit- repeated actions. Research has it that whatever you do consecutively for 21days becomes a habit. And then after the habit has been consolidated, it becomes....

4. ADDICTION: An uncontrollable desire to do something. What you could have controlled at the thoughts stage or worse still action stage.

Action is like a strand of broom but addiction is like a bunch of broom made up of so many strands(actions). Olakunle Soriyan was right when he said " Every action is a step towards mastery".

What are you mastering?

And I'm sure you know that it is easier to break a strand of broom than a bunch but then bunch of brooms can still be broken; they are just broken with superior power.

It starts by acknowledging that you need help

Do you need help?

Talk to me dear.

I value you!

Miracle O. Ihuoma
H

GIVE ME A SPOUSE OR I DIE?

2018-11-13T05:38:00.000-08:00

Have you seen this caption before?

It was a popular church event title that went viral at a point on social media. Even though a lot of people took it for a joke and made fun of it, it is also a fact that many people also attended that programme. In fact, there are a lot of people who have covertly attached their existence to getting married. While I'm not playing down on getting married, it is important to note that desperation will only attract the wrong person to you.

Have you been so hungry that ijebu garri looked like fried rice to you? In fact at that point you might not mind eating something below your normal standard. That's what happens when we're desperate, we settle for anything. And I tell you this with every sense of humility, it is better not be married at all than to marry the wrong person- a lot of divorcées will attest to this. Someone anonymous said "It is better to wait long than to marry wrong".

Lack of marriage does not hinder the fulfilment of purpose. So you can be single and still fulfil purpose. This has been seen throughout history. Don't allow anyone make you feel less of yourself because you don't have a relationship or yet to be married. God can still use you whether married or unmarried.

And just a word for custodians of the " biological clock", can we please just ease the pressure on people who are yet to be married? You don't want to know what this pressure has pushed many into.

And the sooner we come to the fact that not everyone will be married, the better our world will become.

And you know what?

The reason a lot of people are yet to discover or attract their spouse is because they are yet to discover themselves. Everything you're trying to get on the outside, starts with you on the inside.

I don talk plenty already, lemme comman be going.

I value you!

Miracle O. Ihuoma
You

THREE KINDS OF PEOPLE ON SOCIAL MEDIA

2018-03-10T11:31:00.001-08:00

In my years of observation on social media, I've discovered that there are three categories of people who exist on this space:

1. Producers:

These are the ones who generate the content,feed the minds of other people on social media and determine the social media environment. Please do everything to be here.

2: Consumers:

These are the set of people who consume content created by producers. Of course most producers are also in this category as well. But then it is a pity that there are a lot of people who exist only on this space. In this category,there are two sub-sets; (a) Selective consumers: People who select the kind of information they consume. Some of them have decided to only pay attention to pictures, comics and lewd content while some others have decided to focus on information that would get them better. (B) Nonselective consumers: These ones are the "anywhere belle face" kind of people, they take in all kinds- both good and bad.

3. Copiers:

Wow...what a special set of people they are. Many of them have never written anything original on social media except their pictures. Some of them are confused fellows,they are full time consumers who want to exist in the producers' space but have no content, so they copy from the producers and take it to their fellow consumers to make it look like they are also producers but na lie we know them. How? Because you see the same post in like five other places. Lol. Some persons won't be happy with this post because it looks like I'm exposing them. But no vex. The issue I have with many of them is that they copy without acknowledging the source of the write up.

I think everyone on social media should be on three levels.

Produce something as well, don't just be a consumer. Establish your presence with meaningful content on social media. If you don't know what to write, go and learn. And out of the abundance of the things you're learning,you will have things to write.

Be a consumer too,preferably a selective consumer. One who consumes things that are pure,virtuous and have a good report- whether videos,pictures or writeups. You can learn a lot from social media, don't just chat alone. Learn. When you see meaningful posts, don't say it is too long, find out time and read it.

Then of course be a copier, but copy with sense. Copy and share meaningful materials with your friends. Don't be stingy with information. Start with this one. And do not forget to indicate the source.

Thank you

I value you!

Miracle O. Ihuoma

#BrainWaves

DON'T PUT YOUR HAPPINESS IN SOMEONE ELSE'S POCKET

2018-03-02T11:25:00.000-08:00

I was having a chat with someone sometime last week and in between the chat,the person said "make me happy" and I was like seriously! Don't bother to ask how the chat ended but that statement got me thinking; if I can make you happy,it means I can also make you sad. And that's just an extension of how many of us have put our happiness in someone else's pocket- so we get angry when they want us to and become happy at their own volition. But this can drain your self esteem especially when you're surrounded with people who are negative.

And please don't get me wrong. A research showed that 80% of our entire happiness is determined by our relationships. But then I think your ultimate happiness should be in your hands and we should be able to regulate our state and mood consciously even if it will mean to change our association.
Even as a married (wo)man,its important you different your role and your identity and learn how to switch roles to keep your self in a happy state. So when your spouse attacks your role you can switch to your identity and when your identity is attacked you can switch to your role. But as much as possible don't put your entire happiness in the hands of anyone,in fact when they know that you have done so there might be tendency for manipulation. And that's why I tell people,if you're not happy single you can't be happy when you're double. Your individuality is a serious prerequisite for relationship/marriage.
Marriage won't make you happy

Money won't make you ultimately happy

Own your happiness. Be in charge of your own happiness.

Learn to use the power of vocabulary to change your mood- your words have a lot of power in the regulation of your mood. For instance the intensity of feeling you have when you say "I'm furious" and when you say "I'm peeved" are different. That's the power of words.

You can also change your physiological state to change your psychological state- your body language can change how you feel.

And finally for today,make sure your association is a positive one and not a toxic one.

I value you

2018-02-16T10:54:00.000-08:00

THE MYTH OF A NEW YEAR

Ain't we going round in a circle believing that we're making progress when we're only just expending energy?

This is the circle: In January we are all fired up and everyone feels like they can literally move a mountain from one location to another. Many of us make resolutions, some set goals and very few write down those goals and pursue them yet we all want to achieve "the same" result. That momentum goes on for about a month or two and then we relapse back to our default mode of laziness, procrastination, lack of focus...you can fill in the remaining gap. And that continues till we get to EMBER months; it then occurs to us that people from the village have been pursuing us and are basically the reason why we haven't achieved so much(yet we go back in December to meet them). And then comes November when we begin to move from one prayer meeting to the other looking for the God of the 11th hour and a lot of us get fixated on that till the 31st of December when "everyone" goes to church to receive a word for the year. And then the cycle begins over again.

Does this sound or look like you?

Then you need to ask yourself a fundamental question; why does it happen that way? I'll help you out a bit.

There is nothing mysterious about a new year. There is nothing mysterious about achieving success in a year or going round in circles. Or maybe here is the mystery- right things done daily compound into success, wrong things done daily compound into failure. Your year would end the same or even worse than last year if you still hold on to the same beliefs, values, attitudes and relationships. Yes! We focus a lot on the outside forgetting that what happens around us is a reflection of what is going on within us- first within then without.

Remember that insanity is doing the same thing the same way and expecting a different result. Sanity would then be using different strategies till you discover the one that works and then stay with it; and when it becomes obselete (it sure will), you change the strategy again.

In all, don't be carried away by the frenzy of a new year. Without a new you everything continues to be old except the days that come by. Remember that you cannot pour a new wine into an old wine skin. In other words in this context, you cannot achieve anything in the new year being the old you.

If this year is going to be any different, then you have to be deliberately deliberate.

In the spirit of being deliberate, I present to you two great opportunities: My Relationship Mentoring Programme which is a one year mentoring plan on relationships which you get to subscribe with a token of a thousand naira, if a student #500

And secondly is our Online Premarital Coaching Programme which comes up on the first week of February. Yoh can get a 30% discount today.

Hit me up now and don't procrastinate.

Happy new year!

I value you!

Miracle O. Ihuoma

CREATE A SYSTEM AROUND YOUR TIME

2017-12-06T03:43:00.001-08:00

I think it was Dr Mike Murdock who said "The secret of the success of anyone is hidden in their daily routine". "Right things done daily compound into success and wrong things done daily compound into failure" said a wise man. It is therefore apparent that there is no mystery to succeeding or failing. It means that we can say a lot about where a person would end up just by looking at their daily routine.

Haven said that,it is important to pay attention to the things we do daily. It would be wise to create a system around the things we must do daily. I'm aware that some personalities might not fancy routine (I'm one of such), but the bitter truth is that if you must succeed there are certain things that must be routinely done- those things might now have to vary from person to person. For me for instance, THINKING, PRAYING, CONFESSION, READING are part of my "must-do-list" and I've created systems that help me to achieve them daily (I'm still fine tuning the systems to make it more favourable and achievable).

For instance, my bathing time is my confession time, my toilet time is my thinking time (I still got some beautiful ideas today when I was sitting on the throne. Lol). So I only skip thinking the day I don't sit on the throne and skip my confession the day I miss taking my bath which is almost impossible.

So you see how you can practically create systems around the things that are most important to you?

I hope this helps

I value you!

Miracle O. Ihuoma

WHATSAPP IS UPGRADING

2017-11-16T03:01:00.001-08:00

I'm sure you are enjoying the new features of WhatsApp and Facebook and all the other social media platforms. It has made life a lot easier for us with more data being consumed anyway. Isn't it amazing how these platforms upgrade almost every month? How that they have gone into the future and brought it closer to us? Well....I personally think it is mind blowing.

The question that pops up in my head each time I look at these innovations is "In what ways am I also upgrading and getting better in my area of expertise?". Isn't it amazing that one of the characteristics of a human being as we have been taught in biology is growth yet many people have only grown physically when there are other areas calling out for your maturity.

I know you love Facebook and you keep bombarding us with super beautiful pictures,in fact they have termed you a slay queen on somebody else's invention though, but then I think you should stop and think for one second " What invention will I also create for my generation to enjoy?". Please note that it mustn't be in the area of technogy- it could be in politics, arts and entertainment,media, religion, education etc, wherever it is, don't just be a consumer,contribute something to our world.

I'm also aware you love WhatsApp, with the new feature of WhatsApp story who wouldn't, but are you also developing new features,knowledge and expertise?

Are you also upgrading?

When was the last time your surfed the net to learn something new?

When was the last time you read a book?

When was the last time you attended a training?

What is your budget for R & D?

Dont leave your growth to chance, be deliberate about it.

I hereby offer you an opportunity to upgrade as a present to you these events:

I value you!

2017-10-19T06:37:00.000-07:00

YOU WILL TURN OUT LIKE YOUR PARENT

Lol....I can imagine the look on the faces of a lot of people reading this right now. Well....the title was used to get your attention and is conditionally true. It is in no way a prophesy or curse. This is actually word from knowledge and not word of knowledge.

If you're the son of Mark Zukerberg or Dangote you might want to say amen to the supposed prophesy but for the large part of my audience reading this who might not be in that class, this might sound like a curse. But as much as you don't like it doesn't change the validity or authenticity if nothing is done.

A man by the name Joseph Stalin was at a time the president of Russia,he wasn't a good president. He was a tyrant, a dictator and an authoritarian leader who ended up killing millions of innocent people. I'm sure you are really mad at this guy right now,wondering what kind of a person he is. But before you criticize him too much,let's take a stroll to his background:

Joseph Stalin grew up in a home where he saw his dad beat up himeself and his mum almost everyday, he saw his dad drink to stupor every night and of course that entered his subconscious and formed a major part of his belief system and values. And by the time he attained a leadership position, there was no other way e knew to lead than to be a dictator like his dad. I'm sure he never really wanted to become like his father but we ultimately reproduce who we are not what we like.

In the same way, a lot of people will reproduce what they have seen their parents do over the years in their own families as relating to marriage and parenting. They might want to do it better but you don't reproduce what you like,you reproduce who you are. And most times,this reproduction happens in good measure,press down, shaking together and running over so that the glory of the later house is greater than that of the former. Lol.

Before you blame your parents too much,take out time and ask them how their own parents lived and behaved and you would most likely discover that they are just at best advanced versions of their parents. And if you check yourself well,you might discover that you're already turning out that way and it's not your fault because,the gates to the subconscious mind are the ears and the eyes. So whatever you constantly keep hearing and seeing will become a major stake holder in your mind and will by default reproduce itself if not uninstalled.

The power of sight cannot be overestimated,that was why Jacob of ancient history could only change the skin colour of his master's animals by getting them to look at what he wanted them to become when they mated. And that is why in the new covenant in scriptures, we are told to continually behold the word as in a glass for total transformation. What you are seeing and have seen is definitely what you are producing today consciously and unconsciously.

Is there hope for those of us who have seen almost all our lives negative parenting,marriage and all kinds?

Everything you've seen your parents do about life,marriage and parenting will remain in it's state of rest until it is acted upon by an impressed or external force. This is the reason boys who have seen their fathers smoke over time end up as smokers, it is the reason ladies end up in abusive relationships because they have never seen/experienced true love at home so can't decipher when they see one. This is the reason a very high percentage of people from dysfunctional homes end up in all forms of delinquencies.

One strange thing about this is that it doesn't work by rejecting it and saying God forbid alone. In fact the more angry you are about it,the more tendency it is for you to repeat it. O yea,because the anger will serve as a reinforcement to the behaviour. And many times in anger,we project who we truly are; we attack what we are struggling with. It is called PROJECTION in psychology.

So what's the way out?

Some persons might need more intense therapy but many many would be delivered by just looking for a new MODEL. Yes! Look for an 'adopted' father,mother or family that models what you truly want to become. Expend more of your energy and emotions towards your adopted family or father than you do towards your mainstream family. This family could come in form of a group,an association,mentoring and the likes but make sure you detach your self from your existing family in terms of the attitudes and behaviours you wish to relinquish.

As you expose yourself to the desired,you will subconsciously start dropping anything toxic you have picked from where you are coming from. This I think is one of the high points of mentoring. This I think is one of the reasons you should not forsake the assembly of the righteous.

This is so powerful,it could change your life forever!

You can shoot me a mail if you want us to talk about this in more details.

I value you!

Miracle O. Ihuoma

SO YOU DON'T WANT TO JOIN A UNIT

2016-08-21T06:17:00.002-07:00

It’s a wonderful day!

I've decided to start sharing my thoughts on Life and Relationships with people as they come up. Some of these thoughts might be radical and might seem alien to some of us but please do well to consider them before debunking or criticizing.

So yesterday someone met me and asked why I haven't joined a unit in my local assembly, and I told him I wasn't sure I wanted to join but I'd consider it. And then he said "the earlier you start being useful to God the better...." And I picked it up from there as I did not allow him finish. I immediately told him that my usefulness to God is not judged by my joining a unit in my local assembly. My usefulness and your usefulness to God is directly and inversely proportional to your usefulness to man. I further told him that what we do within the four walls of our local assemblies is not as important as what we do outside those walls. We'll be judged more by our contribution to humanity than the unit we joined in our local assembly.

The purpose of our local assembly is to equip us for the work of the ministry/service. To who? To humanity of course. So any local assembly that doesn't empower or enable you to serve humanity does not qualify to be a church. There is a difference between the work of the ministry and ministry work. Maybe joining a unit in your local assembly is ministry work while the work you do outside its four walls for the furtherance of the kingdom is the work of the ministry
An usher in a local assembly is not doing more of God's work than an business man providing ten people with jobs.

The major issue is that we've overtime separated spiritual work and secular work. So you see someone go for a vigil and come to his place of work dizzy and becomes ineffective throughout the day. You see another one reading his/her bible at work and doesn't even know when a client comes. But is this truly what God wants? I'm sure you know the answer. You see a chorister in the choir who thinks she is more valuable to God than an Asa. But these are all religion! And religion is the greatest enemy of Christianity.

Every work is spiritual if it is fulfilling Gods will and advancing the kingdom. Another bone of contention is what is the kingdom. Even if you don't know what the kingdom is, just know its is not the fall walls of your church- that's also an instrument God is using to advance His kingdom. The same way he could use the media, economy, politics ,entertainment, education etc.

When God gave Adam the work of a gardener in genesis, he never called it spiritual or secular work. So let's see everything we do as long as it’s in line with God's will as spiritual work if we have to call it anything. This will even help us to put in more excellence in our jobs and work knowing that they are all unto God!

Selah

I value you!

GIRLFRIEND VS WIFE

2016-08-21T05:45:00.000-07:00

Its a wonderful day!

People think you only become a wife when you get married but you can actually be a wife before you get married that's why it is called "wife material".

Girlfriends are everywhere,littered all over the streets...wives are scarce. And that's why you have to search to find wives but you don't have to do that to find girlfriends,in fact sometimes they find you.

He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God. He that finds a girlfriend,I don't know what he has found and I don't know if he will obtain favour from the Lord.

Wives help you to save and invest your money...girlfriends help you to spend it

Girlfriends help you to gratify the pleasure of the present...wives help you to secure the future.

Girlfriends ask you how much you have in your account. Wives ask you how much vision you have in your mind.

A girlfriend opens her breast and body to impress you. A wife displays the intelligence in her brain and you have no choice than to be impressed.

A wife multiplies whatever you giver her. A girlfriend diminishes what you give her and returns for more

Guys strive to marry a wife and not a girlfriend...ladies strive to be a wife and not a girlfriend.

Please note that girlfriend used in this article is contextual.

Watch out for Boyfriend Vs Husband

I value you!

BOYFRIEND VS HUSBAND

2016-08-21T05:41:00.001-07:00

Its a wonderful day!

You don't become a husband when you get married,in fact it is being a husband that should qualifies you for marriage.

A boyfriend sees himself as superior to a woman,a husband sees a woman as God's image with the same Spirit of God in her

A boyfriend uses his physical strength to abuse women,a husband uses his strength to protect them

Boyfriends don't add any value to the relationship. Husbands make you better than they met you,that's why they are called 'bridegroom'

Boyfriends take advantage of your vulnerability. Husbands help you work on your weaknesses

The only thing boyfriends have to donate is their sperm. Husbands offer vision,direction,protection,provision etc

Boyfriends are scattered all over the streets. Husbands are rare,no wonder the scripture says "A faithful man who can find?"

Boyfriends have girlfriends but husbands stick to one wife,they understand the discipline of faithfulness and have learnt to keep that thing in between their legs in check.

Husbands have more to offer than biscepts,tricepts and money. And at the same time they make providing for their family a priority

Boyfriends are liabilities. Husbands are assets.

Are you a boyfriend or a husband?

Guys strive to be a husband. Ladies make sure you marry a husband and not a boyfriend.

Please note that 'boyfriend' used in this article is contextual

I value you!

MARRY YOUR FRIEND

2015-04-22T16:44:00.000-07:00

Do you want to know the reason why a lot of people are not married? There are a lot of reasons anyway, but one of many is that they want to marry strangers. Do you also know why we have a lot of divorce and separation? One of the many reasons is that people marry strangers and not their friends.

I have seen ladies and guys alike say blatantly that they cannot marry their friends. And if you are close to me, you would have observed that I like to ask a lot of questions especially the “why?” question. So when I ask them the “why?” question, I get a lot of flimsy reasons which gives me stomach upset. Can somebody please tell me how in the world somebody will prefer to marry someone they just met over someone they have known? This like we stated earlier is the reason many singles are not married. They are looking at Sokoto (a northern state in Nigeria) when what they are looking for is in their Sokoto’ (Yoruba word for under wear).

If you are ready to get married and nobody is coming or you don’t seem to be seeing anybody, make a list of your friends of the opposite sex, look at the list critically, your spouse may just be there. I will not be surprise if some persons have no name on their list- can you see the problem now? In case you don’t have names to list, make a conscious decision right now to build viable friendships, please not with desperation or with an intention just to get married.

Also remember that where you go determines who sees you and if you are not seen or you don’t see, you cannot get married- go out to worthwhile places and stop sitting at home complaining of old age! Please also be careful of the places you make friends from as the kinds of friends you make determine the kind of husband or wife you will marry. Don’t expect to marry from the club and have an angel as a wife. Selah.

Remember we also said that the failure of people to marry their friends is one of the reasons for divorce and separation in many homes. Friendship is the foundation for every lasting love relationship. When you marry a stranger, how do you communicate and gist as friends do? There is already a wide gap that needs to be closed. The major thing couples do is talk and it takes friends to talk. And please don’t say you will develop the friendship in marriage. It is like saying that you will grow as a child in adulthood (wrong timing!). It is something you don’t want to risk. And it is friendship that reveals compatibility- you can’t know if you will be compatible as couples if you have never been friends and that is why when couples that have never been friends realize that, they are not compatible, it is always too late.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that somebody that is your friend presently qualifies to be your spouse- that is not always the case. In fact, you cannot marry all your friends and there are some of your friends you cannot get married to for a variety of reasons ranging from attraction to compatibility. So what am I saying? Marry your friend! Whether the person is your friend presently or not, make him/her your friend before you get married. If you have been friends for a while, fine. If you have not been, build friendship first, bond for at least six months to one year (my personal bias). In all marry your friend!

After reading this, does anybody still want to marry a stranger? If you do you must be a witch/wizard.lol

OVERCOMING SEXUAL TEMPTATION

2015-04-18T13:34:00.002-07:00

Philosophy: “Say unto wisdom, thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman that they may keep you from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words”- Solomon Jesse

Temptation is a common phenomenon; in fact sexual temptation is a common phenomenon. Everybody that has passed puberty age whether male or female has been tempted sexually- no matter how religious you are, you will be sexually tempted. If you have not been tempted, you need one out of two things- to see a medical doctor or to go for deliverance; so make your choice. Even Jesus as holy and righteous as He was also tempted while on earth (Heb4:15).

Temptation as defined by the oxford advance learner’s dictionary is the desire to do or have something that you know is bad or wrong. This tells us that every temptation including sexual temptation emanates from our lust (desire) for something. For instance, an average lady feels like having sex at least once a month and twenty times a year, irrespective of how spiritual or knowledgeable she is. And for men, we feel like having sex at least once every seventy two hours. You cannot be tempted with what you don’t have a prior desire for.

Watch it, it is not a sin to be sexually aroused or tempted neither is it a bad thing like I said earlier on, I think what is bad is not feeling aroused; because this stuff is a product of hormonal (biological) functions which was put in there by God himself. So each time you feel like having sex, lift up your hands and give God praise because your endocrine system is functioning properly. What can be bad is acting or falling for the desire/temptation. Like my mentor Praise Fowowe would say, “A (sexual) thought is not a sin until it is been given a thought”. What that means is that a thought that flashes through your mind is not a sin until you start processing it and eventually act on it.

So how do we overcome this dilemma that has befallen a lot of people, good, bad and ugly? If you will agree with me, when it comes to sex, emotion is stronger than reason(ing). In other words how you feel can sometimes overshadow what you think. In fact research has shown that the part of the brain that controls intelligence/reasoning is also the part that controls our sexuality, which accounts for why it looks like everything we know comes to a standstill when we are consumed with our urge for sex (Does anybody relate with what I’m saying or am I the only one that has experienced this?). Because the truth is that everyone that has a conscience knows that sex outside the marriage environment is wrong and some persons even have additional information as to the consequences of sex outside the marriage environment, yet they fall victim of sexual temptations even after confessing the previous Sunday or saying to themselves with every form of sincerity and willingness “I will never do it again!”.

The black and white truth is that knowledge alone which is very good will not deliver you from sexual temptations, but WISDOM will. Amongst the numerous definitions of wisdom is “knowing HOW to go about a matter”. Solomon Jesse said “The labour of the foolish wearies everyone of them, because he knows not HOW to go to the city”. And the opposite of foolishness is wisdom. The wiser man will always overcome temptations better than the stronger man. I have discovered that many of the people that have fallen for sexual temptation were strong people or people who thought they were strong while many of the people that have overcome sexual temptations are people who valued wisdom over strength or thought they were not strong enough and employed wisdom. And what does wisdom say? FLEE FORNICATION!!!. It did not say explain, analyze, mentor, or change it says FLEE! But the truth of the matter is that people who fall into sexual temptations want to do one of the things we mentioned above. Flee is from the word fly which is a step above run. It actually means to run in terror- If you have watched how cartoon characters “run” you will know what I’m talking about.

A man of God shared a story of how a lady came into his office for counseling with her breast half exposed and the next thing he started hearing in his mind was grab it, grab it and he had to run out of the office to overcome- that’s an example of what it means to flee from fornication. I tell people that you may not be stronger than Samson Manoah, you may not be braver than David Jesse but you can be wiser than Solomon especially in the area of sex. Flee! What are you doing with that lady/guy by 11:00pm behind closed doors yet you are complaining of sexual temptation? Why are you kissing and smooching and complaining of sexual temptation?

My friend, the best place to stop a thief as at the gate not when he has entered your bed room. May your wisdom increase in handling situations!

Quote: “Abstain from all appearance of evil”- Paul of Tarsus.

EMOTIONAL MASTERY

2015-04-08T16:35:00.001-07:00

There happen to be seven dimensions to our lives, and I find the emotional dimension to be one of the most cardinal dimensions amongst others. Truth be said, emotions affect every area of our lives. And only those that have mastered their emotions can truly succeed. For instance, in the work place you hear something like “emotional intelligence” which is a vital quality to make it big there. Emotional intelligence is another word for emotional mastery. Without it you cannot succeed in the workplace, without it you cannot succeed in relationships, you can’t just succeed. Without it you won’t be able to differentiate between your home and your workplace. If for instance, you are the boss at work, without emotional mastery, you will come home to your family, ordering your wife and children the same way you do at work. Without emotional mastery, you won’t be able to differentiate between your wife and your secretary and who you should sleep with. It is the lack of emotional mastery that is the causal factor why our celebrities never last in marriages- they are only actors anyway. They fail to realize that they are only a celebrity on stage not at home- stop expecting your wife to treat you like your fans will. Can you see how powerful recognizing differences are? Dr Mike Murdock said “Wisdom is the ability to recognize differences”

How do you handle criticism? How do you handle anger? Emotional mastery/intelligence tells you that you don’t transfer aggression or anger on somebody else who is not the person that got you angry in the first place. It is a form of defense mechanism in psychology called displacement . How do you handle your sexual emotions? At the root of many mental illness, divorce, break ups, wretchedness, physical ailment and even death is lack of emotional mastery.

Emotional mastery is simply mastering your emotions. Solomon Jesse said, “Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life”. That’s another way of saying guard your emotions with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life. The heart is the seat of our emotions while the head is the seat of our logic and reasoning. Emotional mastery is about controlling you emotions and not allowing your emotions control you.

Mike Tyson never had emotional mastery and it cost him his career. Strauss Kahn never had emotional mastery and it cost him his ambition. I can keep mentioning loads and loads of people who lack of emotional mastery cost them something valuable. Lack of emotional mastery will always cost you something, something valuable.

#getwisdom

FRIEND OR FOE

2015-04-01T13:50:00.001-07:00

Some years back, I was in a seminar and the speaker told us to write the seven closest people to us- with our family members as number one. So we did wondering what he wanted to do with it. After we did, he asked us to look at the names we had just written and I began to ask what for as I perused through the names again. After some seconds of looking through the names, he said affirmatively “Do you know what you are looking at?” Half of the crowd said “No” while the other half which I was part of starred in perplexity. He continued, “You are looking at your future”. I was shocked as I initially did not understand what he meant until after some time of meditation and experience.

The truth is that you cannot be better than your association, or better put (in this context), you cannot be better than your friends. To narrow it down to what we are talking about, it is very funny how we have friend that are contrary to where we say we are going, but like the speaker said that day, they are your future. So, when you choose your friends, you choose your future (I’m the one saying this now). I think it was Dr Myles Munroe who said “Show me your friend and I will tell you where you are going” not just who you are.

Friends as far as I know are suppose to be people that have like values and interests as we do, so anyone that doesn’t may not be a friend but a foe. A whole lot of people we call our friends are just enemies in disguise. They may pretend to be our friends, in fact they may even be genuine but as long as where they are leading us doesn't look like where we should be going, they are foes not friends.

And what do you do to a foe? You keep away from such. Some of us will have to delete some numbers from our phonebook after reading this. Some may have to send a text message right now or put a call through and give good reddens to bad rubbish. Some of us may just have to silently avoid those people.

And mind you, some of these persons may not be bad people; it is just that their part in the story is over like Bishop T.D Jakes would say. Their chapter in the book is finished. Remember, Lot was not a bad person but until he left, Abraham could not see further. Jonah was not evil, in fact he was a man of God but until he was thrown into the ocean without emotional attachment, the ship was not at peace- Some Jonahs’ will have to leave our ships; from friendships to love relationships.

If these men who were not bad had to leave don’t you think it will be unfair to leave the bad ones? Think about it. Here comes the big question- Are your friends actually friends or foes?

FRIENDS WITH BENEFIT (FWB)

2015-03-16T15:41:00.002-07:00

Hmmm…I guess you familiar with that phrase, our topic. In case you are not, “friends with benefit” is having a friend of the opposite sex (usually) that you are not in an intimate relationship with to satisfy your sexual appetite.

Going back memory lane, you will discover or remember that it used to be unusual to have sex with somebody you are not married to (at least in the African culture), then it became usual but still unusual to copulate with somebody you are not in a love relationship with. But today, the concept of “friends with benefit” is spreading like wild fire. In fact it has been acted as a movie.

Looking at it integrally, it is of my opinion that it is good to have friends with benefit (or don’t you think so?)-Friends that will benefit you one way or the other. But looking at it from the other spectrum, what benefit is a friend who wants to sleep with you without any emotional, legal, traditional or spiritual commitment?

Well, I can only think of one benefit- Instant gratification! Or is a benefit that you have lost touch with your creator through the act? Or that you may become infected with STD or STI in the process? Or that you may become pregnant out of wedlock as a lady and may decide to abort it which predisposes you to either death or other complications? And the most annoying of all these is that you will go through all these because of a person you barely know who cares less about your future. Think about it. Or maybe I don’t understand the meaning of “benefit” again. Maybe we should consult the dictionary- here is what it says: “Benefit is an advantage that something gives you; a helpful and useful effect something has”. So the big question is what advantage does it give you? How helpful and useful has the effect been?

If you really need a friend or friends with benefit why not go out there and get right thinking and right living people that will be of advantage to you and your destiny; people that will have a helpful and useful effect on you rather than flirting with people that have put their destinies on hold and are trying by all means to put yours too. If you go ahead and continue doing this, please make sure not to call it “friends with benefit” but rather “foes with disfavor”. Cheers!

PLEA FOR LOVE

2014-01-06T02:01:00.002-08:00

It is no news that we are emotional beings and simultaneously love beings. Without love there is no life, therefore we can say that life is inversely proportional to love. Starting from the love of our parents, to the love of God, the love of our teachers, the love of the opposite sex and so on.

This innate need has set us on a search for love. But it is a pity that a lot of us are searching for it in the wrong places. Some persons have searched for it in sex but did not find it others have searched for it in the opposite sex yet the vacuum is still there.

One thing we all need to know is that there is a source of love and there are channels of love. There is only one source of love, who is the creator of love and that is God. Every other person or thing is just a channel of love. Love should first be vertical before it is horizontal. Anything that is not from the right source is considered fake. Stop searching for love in wrong places!

Another thing a lot of us do not know is that love is reflective. So many people do not love themselves yet they are expecting others to love them. Yes, others may but no love can be a replacement of self love.

So stop searching for love where you cannot find it. Look upward and inward- these are the primary sources of love. If you have not gotten love from these two places please do not bother searching for any other place; if you do, your heart might be used to play football or table tennis depending on the favourite sport of the person you gave it to.

Now, please listen to this- even if another person is sincerely in love with you, (s)he cannot help it if you don’t love yourself and if you have not experienced the love of your creator!. Love is first within…then without, first upward then…outward. Don’t mix it up.

JUST BEFORE YOU ENTER INTO A (LOVE) RELATIONSHIP

2013-12-13T14:01:00.001-08:00

I believe that before an individual ventures into something, whether business or relationship, (s)he needs enough knowledge concerning such venture. But it is a pity that people prepare for almost everything except (love) relationships- an individual just wakes up one morning and decides to enter into a love relationship without requisite knowledge. Dear friend, knowledge is what gives you an edge over others.

A lot of people in love relationships are looking for escape routes while some others are eager to enter. Whatever category you are; if you are in a relationship, this article will help strengthen you and also help you make necessary adjustments, if you are not, this article is just for you, read with rapt attention because it will definitely save you a lot of heartaches people are having in relationships. I seriously wish that everybody knows this before getting married; divorce rate will reduce by 50% if not more.

So just before you enter into a love relationship…

1. DISCOVER GOD:

Every living thing or being has a source and cannot function effectively outside the source. The fish cannot survive outside water (its source), the plant cannot survive outside the soil (its source), and human beings cannot survive outside God (our source). Humanity cannot actually do without divinity.

Relationship should first be vertical (with God) before horizontal (with people). Anyone that does not have a cordial relationship with God may not have a successful love relationship- because it is God that teaches you how to truly love.

So, just before you enter into a love relationship discover God and make sure anybody

You will go out with has also done the same.

2. DISCOVER PURPOSE:

Purpose is the reason for your existence. I think it was Martin Luther King (jnr) that said that “If you don’t have a reason to die, you are not fit to live”. And I also think that if you have not discovered your purpose, you are not fit to enter into a love relationship.

A blind man cannot lead a blind man, they will both fall into a pit/ditch said Jesus of Nazareth. If you don’t know where you are going, why jeopardise another’s’ destiny by taking him/her along with you?

Isn’t it amazing to know that the first thing God gave Adam wasn’t a woman but a sense of purpose? “And the Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to dress it (Genesis 2: 15)”. But how come a lot of people go into love relationships without having an idea of their God given purpose- that is a journey to destruction (sorry to say but it is the truth).

So just before you enter into a love relationship discover your purpose.

3. DISCOVER YOUR WORTH/VALUE:

The value of a product to a large extent s determined by the price it was purchased for. But when the true worth of something is not discovered, abuse is inevitable. But a lot of people have an “escapist mentality”, they want to hide their lack sense of worth by rushing into a relationship. And when you have not discovered your worth /value before entering into a love relationship it will show. One of the consequences is that you will begin to attach your esteem to the person you are going out with. Another consequence is that the other person can treat you anyhow and you will still have no choice than to remain in the relationship.

For instance it is only a lady that has not discovered her worth/value that will be slapped and beaten up in a relationship and still remain, in fact some have gone to the extent of rationalizing the character deficit of their partner. It is only a lady that has not her worth /value that will see it as a privilege for a guy to sleep with her or compromise her value because he has threatened to quit the relationship if she doesn’t. You are more than this dear!

Just before you enter into a love relationship discover your worth/value.

4. DEVELOP YOURSELF:

If you do not develop yourself before entering into a love relationship, you will not have anything to give when you do. And thereby you will become a parasite and I bet you, no one wants to relate with a parasite for long.

You are like a building, the better you become, the better the kind of people you attract. Just like an uncompleted building will attract rogues, a completed, well painted and furnished one will attract millionaires. Don’t enter into a love relationship prematurely.

Who you want to attract will determine how well you want your building to be before you put it up for sale. Don’t put it up for sale too quickly. Develop yourself thoroughly. Avoid becoming a thing to be used, rather endeavour to become a being to be respected.

So just before you enter into a love relationship…Discover God, Discover purpose, Discover your worth/value and Discover yourself.

SPEAK WITH POWER REGISTRATION FORM

2013-12-11T05:01:00.000-08:00

THE GOD FACTOR

2013-12-11T03:24:00.001-08:00

Philosophy: “God is all I need to have all my needs met” It is a pity that God has been taken out of the scene in the drama of life by so many. He has been forgotten by many on the road to success, no wonder we have many failures. Success principles are good, but success principles without God are equal to failure. There can be no true success without God! Quote me. Anybody you see that seems successful without God will not last. They will fizzle out one day! One problem can destroy the riches of somebody in twenty four hours, so all these free minded people should be careful, there is GOD and you need Him to have all your needs met. You need Him not just to have success but to have good success- success without sorrow and pain. In ancient history one man named Herod insinuated that he was God and immediately worms ate him up. God is no respecter of persons. For so many people the missing link between failure and success is God. They think that they can achieve success by their own power and wisdom but they have forgotten that the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God; they have forgotten that by strength shall no man prevail- the race is not to the swift, neither the battle to the strong nor yet favour to men of skill nor riches to men of understanding...Haven’t you seen wretched talented people? I have. Haven’t you also seen hardworking but useless people to the community? I have seen more than a dozen of them. It is time to wake up and recognize the power behind the universe and creation of the world. Embrace God and His unmerited favour.

LEADERSHIP PITFALLS

2013-10-28T06:28:00.002-07:00

Leadership as defined by John C. Maxwell is all about influence nothing more and nothing less. But overtime we have seen not just few persons who lost this influence or got it corrupted. It is obvious that the higher you go, the more chances of falling and of course the greater the impact of the fall. This fall most times doesn’t just affect you; it affects everyone in your circle of influence. The earlier leaders start realizing that the destinies of thousands lie on their shoulders, the fewer pitfalls we will have. Every pitfall reinforces the weakness of your followers Every pitfall saps leadership energy from you Every pitfall makes you more ineffective Every pitfall has a ripple effect and can motivate other pitfalls. Below are some of the pitfalls: 1. POWER-PRIDE: Pride comes before a fall. And pride comes majorly from power or position. And that is why positional leadership is the lowest level of leadership. Like John C. Maxwell would say “Position only gives you an opportunity to lead…it doesn't make you a leader”. Humility and servant hood is the hall mark of leadership. Moses was the meekest man on earth and also the most powerful leader at that time. The devil was power drunk and continues to be the worst leader of all time. Leadership is servant hood turned inside out. Power, pride, pride of life, position freak or whatever you choose to call it is a trap! Don’t become a victim. 2. LACK OF INTEGRITY: Integrity is the alignment of your thoughts, words and actions. It is doing what you say you will do and not doing what you say you will not do- in other words, meaning what you say and saying what you mean. I tell you the truth and lie not, (write this in capital letters if you can) VERY FEW THINGS DESTROY A LEADER LIKE LACK OF INTEGRITY. In fact people can forgive you as a leader for almost anything if you are a truthful and sincere person. There are two major areas you need to have integrity on- TIME and MONEY. It is good to have money, but is better not to let money have you. Is it not surprising to know that the only thing God compared himself with in the bible was money not even the devil. Leaders…the love of money is the root of all evil. Don’t handle money yourself, don’t become your own Judas, employ an accountant or get a volunteer to handle your money. 3. SEX (outside the marriage environment): This is the one I love to talk about the most and maybe that was why I kept it for last. I usually like to say that your sex life is not news now because you are not yet news but when you become news (which you will soon become), your sex life also becomes a news. Look at a man like David Jesse who was a man after God’s heart and one of the best kings Israel ever produced but ended his life in distress because of perverted sex with a woman called Bathsheba. What about his son Solomon Jesse who was the wisest man that lived at that time but turned his wisdom into vanity because of the sex sin. Time will not fail me to talk about Samson Manoah who allowed his sexual needs to convert his strength and bravery to weakness. Like somebody rightly said “You cannot sleep on the lap of Delilah and expect to wake up in heaven”. Oh! This are ancient stories…you may say. But wait let me give you contemporary ones. Do you know the man Bill Clinton? Who was supposed to be the best president America ever had but lost that on the lap of a woman called Monica Lewinsky. Do you know Eliot Pizza who was disqualified for contesting for the position of the president of America which he was a favorite because of this same issue? You should know Strauss Khan who lost his ambition of being the president of France and was also impeached from being the IMF president on the lap of a MAID. Time will fail me to talk about Mike Tyson, Ibabuchia, Ethyl Messin, Tiger Woods and many more who came from Hero to zero, grace to grass, uppermost to guttermost, palace to dunghill because of this monster (as some may call it) SEX. I pray for you today from the bottom of my heart: You will not fail your generation. You will not fail your family. You will not fail yourself. You will not fail your followers. You will not fail God!