Never On My Own

Lovebug is a Trooper

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 08 Aug 2013 02:02:00 +0000

So grateful for the personality God has given Lovebug tonight. She expresses dislike but also just does what has to be done. It was a rough one, after an infusion set failed and it took us 3, yes 3, stabs to get a set to go in correctly. This is why I'm not a fan of the Inset 30 infusion sets for anyone thinking about getting them. That said they can go in areas with lower body fat than the Insets so sometimes we have to keep some around.

Set change trash, those pink things are one-time use spring devices used to insert the plastic tube of the infusion set.

Purpose Isn't Defined by Me

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 03:14:00 +0000

Hubby and I led, well started, the youth ministry at a church plant just after we graduated college. There was a need and I loved working with youth. I worked in a youth ministry almost every summer of college. I was also a teacher at a local middle school so it made sense that this was the ministry I worked in. Hubby joined me partly because he enjoyed the kids we were serving but mostly because he wanted to support me in a ministry I loved. It was a great way to tangibly serve the families in the church. We led for about 6 years. It was tough trying to figure out how to create a ministry that served our church but avoided supplanting the roles of parents and families the way some youth ministry models can tend to do.

After our 5th year leading, God began to press on my heart that some changes needed to be made in regards to our role in leading. We just had our first daughter and found out within a few months that we were expecting our second child. To be honest, I didn't want anything to change. Having been a youth who accepted Christ because a friend invited me to a church youth group, much of my picture of ministry was wrapped up in the youth program. I grew in Christ because two lovely women had discipled me through youth ministry. I was heavily involved in campus ministry (which is very similar to youth ministry) and then worked for a wonderful youth ministry each summer. I believed that God wanted me to move out of this very narrow box of ministry but I was resistant. God was patient and so was my husband. I was overwhelmed by being mom to two babies (the girls are 15 months apart) as well as a youth leader. I kept thinking about how we could serve with our kids and still meet the needs of the church youth. At the time our second child was born I finally accepted the change. As Hubby's responsibilities with his church internship increased, his seminary studies moved forward, and our family grew I could no longer resist the push to step into a different role.

I kept asking God what he wanted me to do, the only answer I received as I prayed and searched the scriptures was, "serve your husband." I wanted a list--something tangible. I like tangible and I like lists because they make me feel productive and organized. God doesn't have to work like this. So for a year I stepped back and did not serve in a formal role in our church. I served my husband by getting the girls fed and dressed for church so he could go early and play on the music team. I planned fun trips so Hubby could study, write papers or plan sermons with us out of the house (it was a 2 bedroom condo with 4 people, there was not really a place to 'hide' well). I found babysitters so I could join him when he preached for the women's service at the local prison. It was a blessing. By me stepping out of such a time-intensive ministry role it allowed us as a couple to find new ways to serve together and it freed up Hubby to freely serve in the ministries where God was placing him. Just as he has supported and encouraged me earlier in our marriage by leading youth with me, now I took on the role of supporter and partner as the our family grew and his leadership at church expanded.

There are so many ways to serve in ministry. I could say being a stay at home mom and supporting my husband was ministry but God wanted me to do more than just say it. He wanted me to live it. By expanding my picture of ministry and accepting the places God has placed each member of our family at this point in time its allowed all of us to serve more effectively. After a year of focusing on supporting Hubby in whatever he needed I've moved into finding other ways to serve in addition to serving my husband and family first. Sometimes creatively such as sewing or cooking for those that need it or washing baby bottles for the local pregnancy center; sometimes through more traditional means such as nursery helper or Sunday school. Ultimately, what God has taught me through all of this is that significance is not defined by my perceptions of the value of the ministry I do, but rather by God's plans and purposes for me.

I'm linking up with Christine over at Grace Covers Me today as she releases her book, The Church Planting Wife: Help and Hope for Her Heart, and collects heart stories from church planting and ministry wives. Join us?

Wow, its been a while...

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 20:35:00 +0000

Wow, its been a while. A lot has happened in the past 3 months. We've sold our house, moved in with my incredibly gracious in-laws then moved into our new house. Oh yeah and there was Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations as well. I've written about 20 blog posts in my head yet not had enough time to sit down and formulate one that I could post.

I can't explain the amount of stress that Hubby and I were under nor the excitement, but one thing is for sure God provided for us constantly. Here is my list reminding myself of God's goodness in the past 3 months.

Celebration of Jesus coming to earth as a baby. The wonder in this story takes my breath away.
Our house sold after being shown once and for full value. I know this is unheard of in this market.
Lovely friends that cooked dinner for our family so it was easy to be out of the house during the showing.
Having the ideal buyer for the condo. He didn't ask for anything to be fixed just the window bench Hubby had made for me to fit the full length of the windows of the house. A nice pat on the back for Hubby's excellent workmanship and honestly where would we have put it in our new house?
1.5 month rent back before having to move so we could pack and possibly find a house so we didn't need interim housing.
My parents and brother came down to look at a house we really liked. Seeing that my dad has built 3 homes its like having a home inspector with us. It was incredibly helpful.
Had our offer on a new house accepted the day we moved into our in-laws.

You can be impressed with this packing job.
My brother took off work and put his 5 years of working for a moving company to work with our too small van to fit our entire condo into a 17ft. van...yeah just as a note it may say 1-2 bedrooms but unless you are as good as my brother its not happening.
Loved living with my in-laws. Hubby's parents were helpful and so gracious as I'm sure its not easy to live with a 4 year old, 2.5 year old, and 4 month when you haven't had young ones living with you for 30 years. Although having kids run to give you hugs every time you come in the door does help;)
I didn't fold a load of laundry the entire time I was living there. How amazing is this! I do A LOT of laundry and all of it was neatly folded for me every time!
Little Man enjoying his Christmas present.
Little Man is the most easy going baby of my 3 lovely children. I'm grateful.
We settled on our house even though the husband of the couple selling pass away Wednesday before our Friday settlement. No realtor I know has ever had this happen, yet it went smoothly.
We survived 2 weeks of refinishing 1300 square feet of hardwood floors in the month of Dec. It was a hard job, but they are beautiful!
Love Bug and Cuddle Bug were in a Christmas play at our church that helped them to memorize the scriptures from the Christmas story. Christmas morning we acted out the play again to celebrate Christ's birth but switched up the roles our girls played. They knew most of the lines of the play.
We celebrated Christmas, with snow!! with my family and all my siblings. It was so much fun to be with all of them.

Lovebug and Cuddlebug enjoying our new kitchen

3 days after Christmas we moved into our new house. It's been a bit of a construction zone, but the girls have been patient and fairly good about leaving tools alone. Again God provided multiple people to help us move. Which was no small task since we were storing all of our stuff about an hour from the house we were moving into. The reason was because my parents were giving us a mini-storage unit for free at the mini-storage they own.
Our house size is over double what we had in our condo and we have a HUGE (for this area) yard. That is fenced in. So grateful!
Many friends and family have babysat our kids, worked on the house, or just covered some responsibility we couldn't cover at church. We are grateful for how those around us have supported us during this crazy time. We're also grateful as we're feeling the stress being lifted for all of us. For example Cuddlebug had many night terrors during all the changes. She hasn't had one since the first week we moved into our new house.

Though this list can't possibly contain the swings of emotion, both stressful and joyful, we experienced during this time, anyone who has gone through a similar situation will certainly understand. Anyway, I'm happy to say that we're on the outset of settling in and I'm ready to get back to writing. I've really missed it. You'll be hearing from me again soon!

One Year Down

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 02:08:00 +0000

Enjoying the little things...like painting bellies.

Well one year ago I was driving to St. Agnes Hospital at this time after I was given the most shocking and life changing news I've ever been given: my 2 year old has diabetes. It has been a roller coaster of a year, but I'm grateful because I have seen God's hand through all of it. I was told once at a CCEF conference on anxiety that God gives us the grace we need in the moment for the circumstances at the moment. Similar to when the Isrealites in the desert receiving manna; perfect provition for today with the promise of provision for tomorrow. Don't get me wrong; I become anxious, but I've remembered where to turn (with the gentle reminders of those around me).

Marian is thriving, growing, and learning. She can tell you how to test her blood sugar and do most of it herself including change a lancet. In the past month, she has correctly identified when she was low or getting low with more accuracy than previously. This would not have ever been my choice for her life and I pray someday there is a cure, but our hope in life isn't set on a cure--it is set on Christ. I pray that more than anything else she learns this.

The popular song "Blessings" by Laura Story is such a wonderful reminder of how great God's love is amid tough times.

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Leaping Letters

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 02:08:00 +0000

Enjoying this BEAUTIFUL weather!

I have slowly been teaching Marian her letters. We started back up again after a summer break. Since its beautiful outside I have no desire to do workbooks inside (and neither do Marian or Sofia) so this morning we did one page then headed outside to play "Leaping Letters".

I chose 4 letters that we've been working on (f, b, m, s) and wrote them in capital and lower case forms in boxes on the sidewalk.

I then made a starting line that the girls had to line up behind. The girls would stand at the line and I would give them a command (also works on following directions :) ). For example hop to the B, skip to the S.

Once Marian was on the letter she had to say the sound, give me a word starting with that letter, and trace the lower case letter (the book we're using doesn't teach writing capitals yet).

Marian had so much fun that we went outside and played it again after dinner.

Jesus Story Book Bible in itunes

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 20:14:00 +0000

I LOVE the Jesus Storybook Bible. It was a gift to us from our pastor and his wife when our daughter, Marian, was born. We have read the book until its falling apart and have bought another one so that both our girls have copies to read. I haven't read a children's Bible (and we have many) that does such a good job bringing the Gospel into each story. I just saw on facebook that until tomorrow the audio version of this Bible can be bought on itunes for $3.99.

Click on the picture of the Bible if you're interested! I can't wait to have it for the girls to listen to in the car on a trip!

He Hears Your Cries

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 02:13:00 +0000

Our Women's Bible Study discussed how helpful it is to remind ourselves of what God has done in our lives to remember his faithfulness to us and his love for us. I have found this to be so helpful in my walk with Christ. In college my roommate and I had a poster on the back of our door that we wrote answers to prayer on throughout the year to remind us of His faithfulness during a crazy time in our lives (I was student teaching with a not so hot mentor teacher and she was in her first year teaching). I began this blog with the same idea, to remember all that God has done in our life.

Today I'm getting ready to walk out of the hospital after about 2 and a half days of sitting here holding my little boy. Monday night Timothy felt hot so I checked his temperature and it was 100.6 under the arm so I knew it was probably higher than what it was reading. I called our pediatrician's office and they said to bring him into the emergency room. My prayer the entire drive was protection for Timothy, one because taking him to a hospital freaks me out but also because I knew that kids under 2 months shouldn't have fevers. Dr. Valente was wonderful. He was gentle and patient when explaining the tests that needed to be done and the reasons why. He tried hard not to alarm me while being honest...although the thought of a spinal tap on my 7 week old was alarming. Every possible test was done to rule anything else out before doing a spinal tap and then he called our normal pediatrician, Dr. Plotnick, and she reassured me that it had to be done. As a side note, she was on vacation and I'm sure we woke her up or at least messed up her relaxing morning! By far she's the best doctor I've met and is worth the 35-40 min drive to get to her! We survived this ordeal and then it was time to sit and wait for the results, however, because Timothy was obviously not looking well we had to stay instead of go home and wait.

It turned out that there were some white blood cells in the spinal fluid so we ended up in the hospital until all the cultures came back 48 hours later. While I can't say I love being in the hospital, I appreciated the excellent level of care we've received at Greater Baltimore Medical Center. Every nurse we've had was kind and worked with our schedules, such as working to pair taking vitals with either giving antibiotics or nursing so we're not constantly waking him. I don't know that I've ever heard "can I get you anything" more frequently than over the past two days (except for after giving birth at Special Beginnings Birth Center). The nurses and doctors have taken the time to answer my questions and did not make me feel dumb for asking them.

I also was looking at the hospital from the standpoint of being there with a diabetic (if Marian ever has to come) and I appreciated that the meals come with a list of the carbohydrates behind each menu item and on the menu the carbohydrate amounts are listed behind it. Plenty of healthy options are available.

I will say this hospital stay has also been far different from the one we had 10 months ago with Marian. I pretty much spent the past two days holding my little baby. Once the iv was in there were not more shots, no entertaining a 3 year old in limited space, no having an incredible amount of information shoved at you while you're still processing the fact that your daughter's life and your own will NEVER be the same. Just peacefully sitting in a quiet room holding my baby boy. I'm grateful for the peace only God could give. This peace allowed me to be grateful instead of frantic; to enjoy instead of fret.

God was faithful in hearing my prayer and those of our friends and family. He protected Timothy, our little boy had wonderful care and viral meningitis was a much better diagnosis than bacterial meningitis. He was comfortable because his Mommy was able to stay with him thanks to family and friends that chipped in to meet Mark and the girls needs while I was away. If we had a poster in our house with reminders of God's answers to prayer this week we'd have many things to write.

¹⁸Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!

¹⁹People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. ²⁰Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. ²¹Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

Isaiah 30:18-20 (NIV)

(Timothy has been out of the hospital a week already, but I wrote this while I was there it just took me a while to edit this post)

Marathon Complete

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 01:17:00 +0000

Waiting patiently (at the time of this picture)...not so patiently by 38 weeks and really struggling with patience at 40 weeks!

Marian has been a wonderful helper and loves
to hold her baby brother!

Sofia continues to just love to shower
Timothy with kisses.

Well not a real marathon, I feel like pregnancy is a marathon (although I've never run one so its only my assumption of a marathon) and this race is done. There is adrenaline when you start, sometimes accompanied by a sick feeling wondering what you just signed up for then the long haul of miles/months to get to the finish line which is crossed at a sprint (labor).

Tuesday July 3rd Timothy Duraikan Samuel made his appearance at 5:24am after only 4.5 hours of labor. Considering my past two labors were 28 and 18 hours you can imagine my surprise but also my joy at how quickly the finish line came up! He was a bit smaller than his sisters at 8 lbs 13 oz and 20 inches long, but he looks very similar. As our friend, who happened to also be our discharge nurse from the birthing center, said "He's definitely a Samuel baby." It seems our babies all look alike.

There is something precious about baby feet.

The name of our first male child has been determined since before Mark and I were dating. At one point Mark had told me he wanted to name his first boy Timothy Duraikan, by the time we started having kids it was just expected that would be the name if the baby was a boy. Mark liked Timothy because of the relationship between Paul and Timothy in the Bible. Duraikan was Mark's grandfather's (Samuel Duraikan) last name but for some unknown reason, Mark's dad ended up with Samuel as his last name. I guess the immigration system wasn't to blame after all...it's what we've thought for years! Since Mark's aunts were the only ones given Duraikan as a last name and their names were since changed due to marriage, the only way for the name to be passed down in the Samuel family is through middle names. Mark's brother Paul has the middle name Duraikan, as does his son Nathanael. Now Timothy has it as well.

We are grateful for all the help we received by family and friends that made sure Marian and Sofia were well taken care of so we didn't have to be anxious while focusing on labor and enjoying those first few hours and days with our newest edition. Personally I'm grateful for the effort everyone put into learning how to care for Marian, God's peace that he's with Marian even when I'm not, and his grace in allowing a quick physical recovery for me.

My Little Man :)

Maternity and Newborn pictures done by Photography by Susie. Love them! Thanks ladies!

Printable Preschool/Toddler Activities

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 00:17:00 +0000

I found a link to a post about bugs on Money Saving Mom today that was too amazing to not pass along.

I'm printing the one relating to bugs since both girls seem to be enthralled by these little critters at the moment. They are really well done, colorful, and free!

You can find them at 3 Dinosaurs.

Enjoy!

Pouring My Brain Out

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 18:14:00 +0000

Do you remember taking a test in high school or college and studying really hard then pouring your brain out with all the information that you could on the test? Or researching for a paper all semester then sitting down to write it and having trouble making sure all the important stuff is in there? Has anyone else felt this way?

I'm beginning to feel like this and its been a while since I've had to take a test or write a paper! As we prepare for the arrive of our third child, I'm trying to train the family members that will be taking the girls when I go into labor as well as those that will take the girls for a long weekend camp at "Grandma and Grandpa's." The amount of things to think about for caring for Marian for more than a few hours is mind boggling. I'm not sure what is important and what is something only Mark and I need to focus on because what if... Ahhh gotta love worries and fears. If I was honest Marian would probably be just as happy telling everyone else how to care for her than for her mom to write instruction sheets for how to do it ;) I guess I can be grateful for a very independent 3 year old!

If anyone wants some of the items I've found useful online here are the links:
My Child Has Diabetes-Childcare Checklist
JDRF- Emergency Checklist

I've made a bunch of checklists and instruction sheets, if anyone would find them helpful I'm happy to email them to you!

Off to keep packing because we leave in 2 hours! (That means I probably shouldn't be typing a blog entry).

Gratituesday- Music

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 14:33:00 +0000

I haven't done a post about something I'm grateful for in a while. This morning I'm grateful for music. Both my girls sing all....the...time. I can't say I get tired of it. They sing quite a variety too, kids songs, Bible songs, hymns, and songs of their own creation. I had read somewhere when Marian was a baby that having music in the home helps everyone to keep a joyful attitude and it helps to show kids your joy in Christ when you're expressing it through song while working. Now, my singing is NOT something that most people enjoy, however, I do enjoy singing, I just need some assistance from those more musically talented. I'm grateful at how much Truth our kids have soaked up through music. It's amazing. I've also loved seeing them express their love towards babies through singing. Their baby dolls are always getting sung too. Their little brother while in-utero has has quite a few songs sung to him as well. Sofia sings "Jesus Loves Me" to her baby brother at least a few times a week. While she sings, she holds my belly. This morning as she sang the baby kicked.

Sofia "holding" her baby brother.

Picture by Photography by Susie.

Don't Stand Near Me

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 02:49:00 +0000

Tonight I had a bit of a mix-up with my youngest and oldest. We arrived home way past bedtime and I was trying to get the girls ready for bed quickly. We walked into the house I said "Marian let me test your blood sugar" for probably the millionth time. I sit down to test her with both girls standing around me. For some reason Sofia had her little finger out too so I grabbed it and pricked her with the lancet (little device that pricks the finger to draw blood for a glucose reading). Needless to say the scream and look of confusion on her face brought me to my senses and made us laugh pretty hard. It took a while for Sofia to get over the shock of what just happened to her, but thankfully she survived. My guess is she will not stick her finger out anywhere near me anymore. This is also a warning to anyone else that might be brave enough to stand near me when I have a lancet in my hand.

Diabetic Supplies Bag

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 17 May 2012 12:19:00 +0000

I love to sew and I have an absurd amount of fabric. I figured I'd experiment with a diabetic supplies bag for the diaper bag, since I have a ton of free time ;). I like the little kit that the blood glucose meter came in but since putting a rubber safety cover on it, it doesn't fit easily and drives me crazy. I wanted to be able to fit all the supplies I normally carry in the diaper bag pockets into the diabetic bag so that I can easily switch to a book bag or another bag if Marian is going someplace without me. We're going away this weekend so I guess I'll try it out and see what needs tweaking or if I just need to go back to the old blood glucose meter bag. I will say this one is much cuter!

BG Meter Bag

My new version. Room for extra batteries, insulin pen with extra insulin, snacks, and pump supplies.

All rolled up

I'll check back next week to give an update on whether or not this works and some directions on how to make your own.

B is for Boat

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 16 May 2012 14:47:00 +0000

Fun little project for a rainy day to review the letter B (and work on fine motor skills and shapes...its the teacher in me).

Such concentration

Sofia decorating the "b"

Marian's finished project

Materials: macaroni, glue, marker, crayons, and large paper

1. Draw a picture in permanent marker

2. color the picture

3. Put glue on various shapes to be lined with macaroni. Marian wanted to add lines to her original triangle.

Original idea from Art Projects 1 from A Beka Book Art Series. As a note I have NOT looked at this series, someone just gave the book to me when I was teaching art a few years ago. I use adapted projects for the girls sometimes.

So Excited!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 14 May 2012 17:37:00 +0000

Last Thursday I had a wonderful blessing. I went to the introduction for the Bible Study Fellowship for next fall. Oh, I'm so excited! I wish I would have done the study this spring, but I was so nervous about leaving Marian I just couldn't do it. God knew I'd need some help leaving her in a larger class and not just with friends so he provided a lovely lady named Ms. Clemens. She is the assistant children's program director and she has type 1 diabetes! She called me last Tuesday before the introduction class to go over Marian's needs and tell me the carbohydrate counts of the snack.

I was blessed by the welcoming attitude of everyone I met and how they reacted to joyfully looking out for Marian. That would have made my day if that was it, but then the lecture was so encouraging! It was based on 1 Peter 3-5. The teacher went over submission in suffering, refinement in suffering, leadership for suffering and service. The topic was suffering! A topic that Mark and I have spent a lot of time talking about in the last 6 months. I was so refreshed after this 45 minutes, but then I went back to pick up the girls and they were so excited. Marian talked for two days about all she did in her new "class." I am so grateful for a place that I can look forward to digging into the Word, but also for a place that the girls are learning and growing in the Word as well.

Thank you to the ladies that were so welcoming at BSF and for my friends that are already involved and encouraged me to join!

One Week Down

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 09 May 2012 17:00:00 +0000

Week One is complete! It's had both highs and lows.
Highs:

Less low blood sugars
No more injections! (except when Mom forgets to bolus after dinner and after we removed her infusion set for a change)
Giving insulin at night without even waking her
Being able to give a snack in the car without pulling over, taking her out of the seat, getting an injection ready, giving it, then rebuckling her.
Lots of information and record keeping thanks to Diasend

Lows:

Infusion set changes- these are not fun! I didn't realize they would be way worse than giving injections, thank God they are only every 3 days! I have hope that they will get better with time.
Still don't really understand how to read Diasend so we have the information but not really the ability to understand it. :P
Changing our way of thinking about insulin, feel like I'm walking blind.
More highs than we like to see, although we're told it will take a while to figure out basal levels.

PUMP is LIVE!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 00:29:00 +0000

There have been few times in my life that I'm more petrified and more relieved. The pump is live so tonight at dinner she shouldn't need an injection or a nighttime basal injection. Really hoping we did all the priming right so there will be no infusion set (needle and tubes that carry insulin to her body) changes in the next 3 days and she can believe us that the pump means no shots!

The Earth is Not Giving Way

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 16:57:00 +0000

As Mark and I began watching the One Touch Ping introduction video the other night in preparation for our training this past Monday we both felt panic welling up. It made me feel better to know my typically calm, confident, technology loving hubby was feeling the same way, at least I wasn't overreacting! It was an incredible amount of information (given in an informative but mind numbingly boring way) to take in and the importance of really knowing it was crucial.

As I'm beginning to panic and question our decision to transfer to an insulin pump I have to remind myself this is what is best for Marian and I need to push through the anxiety to do what's best for her. I knew I needed to sit in the Word so that's what I did. "Do not be anxious but in all things cast your cares upon Him who cares for you," has been repeated frequently in the past six months. At time and here is another day it's more a chanting plea throughout the day.

Then I read
"God is our refuge and strength a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea...." Psalm 46:1-2

I began to laugh. Seriously I'm not facing the earth giving way today (that I know of at least). I'm facing a busy schedule, pregnancy, loving kids and hubby, and a little pink piece of technology. It's helpful to have a bit of perspective!

As I read on God reminds me He's in the midst of this creation that he's with me and our families fortress.

Verse 10 begins "...be still and know that I'm God." So when panic arises when our lives begin to go out of our plans (but not God's plan!) remember He is our refuge and strength amid the biggest disasters or the smallest everyday events.

A Needed Rebuke

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 18:04:00 +0000

I've been thinking about the question "Am I willing to sacrifice?" a lot lately. I think its comes with the realization of my own selfishness in caring for my family. I'm seeing some needs in both my girls that are going to require more intentionality on my part, mainly in structuring our day. To be honest I don't want to do it. I like having a less structured day, its easier. However, easier isn't what Christ calls me to. He calls me to something so much better, giving up my own desires for those around me. I have never experienced anything so hard, yet when I joyfully (without grumbling!) do it our whole family has a better day. For example, I allowed the girls to play this morning for too long unstructured. I knew I should stop my organizing and take them for a walk or do some school pages, but they were playing nicely and quite creatively together so I didn't (see picture of their "bonfire" below). Just before nap time when I wanted them to do something helpful, it became a fight and all of us were frazzled. I admit it was my selfishness of enjoying having time to get something done that led to this. I knew what my kids would need, yet I made a different choice. As I sat down to read some during nap, I checked out Desiring God's blog (their Grace at Home series is one of my favorites). God knew what I needed to hear, a gentle reminder that the question I've been mulling over but not really wanting to make changes for was the topic today. Will I sacrifice? I can justify that I do sacrifice and list out the ways, the truth is, why do I limit my sacrifice when my head fills with excuses instead of joyfully persevere in making the changes?

Here is the blog post by Christine Hoover. The Everyday Question of Motherhood I'm going to go regroup and begin anew after naps with a much better attitude. Thank you for grace that is new every morning (and after naps!)

They built a "bonfire" out of blankets, toys, scrap wood, and some wrapping supplies. Papa Keech would be proud.

Gratituesday- Momma's Little Helper

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 20:03:00 +0000

I was going to skip Gratituesday today and work on two other posts I've been working on but then I something adorable happened.

Sofia awoke from her nap with the same words I hear every day at 3pm. "I'm hungry 'gain." Her snack choice was an apple or banana with peanut butter. She went with her typical choice of banana with peanut butter, this kid would only eat bananas and peanut butter if given the option. After her little snack she wiped her hands, walked over to the dish washer and neatly (yes neatly!) placed her plate in the dishwasher! I'm pretty impressed for a 2 year old! So today I'm grateful for the joy Sofia has in serving others and how absolutely cute it is to see her mimic something I do 100 times a day.

Photo credit to Becky Hadeed (Another reason to be grateful! She babysat the girls and took adorable pictures while doing it!)

Gratituesday- Breakfast with a Friend

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 18:52:00 +0000

A day late:)

I am by no means a techie, but I'm grateful for technology! The wonders of skype has allowed me to have breakfast with my friend, Aly, whom currently lives in Malaysia many times. She wasn't really having breakfast this time, she was eating a nighttime snack before bed thanks to the 12 hour time difference.

It was a wonderful start to my morning to begin the day first having our girls talk. We've taught our girls that they share the sun and moon. When one family has the moon the other has the sun, its the only way we've thought to explain why one family is going to bed while the other is eating breakfast. Two and three year old skype conversations are quite amusing. Typically conversation consists of showing various toys or books. Marian played a rousing rendition of "Jesus Loves Me" on the harmonica this time. Skype even lets you enjoy the fun of young children learning musical instruments. Once my friend's kids have gone to bed and my kids are off playing (or sitting/climbing in my lap) the adults get to talk at least in theory. Sometimes this works better than others.5

By far my favorite Ari and Marian picture:) Picture taken 3 months before they left.

Before they left for Malaysia, I typically saw Aly 3-4 times a week. It was a tough adjustment not getting to call her whenever I wanted, thankfully there is email. This morning we were able to talk for a long time about everything from weather (its been quite an adjustment moving from Maryland to Malaysia) to language learning to homeschooling to what God's teaching us about Himself and ourselves. I've always respected Aly's humility and joy in her relationship with Jesus and its been beautiful to see it grow greater as she lives in a foreign country.

It's HERE!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 18:37:00 +0000

New Meter with remote for the pump.

The One Touch Ping Insulin Pump in pink of course.

The Insulin Pump has arrived! I have one excited girl. I hope she's this excited when we start using it.
Sofia's pretty excited too. I think we're going to have to do something special for her when Marian begins using this pump. Any ideas?

Praise God for...

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 11:15:00 +0000

the insurance company! Not what you thought I'd say. But I am so grateful for two things with them. One: they aren't fighting us ordering the insulin pump a month earlier than their protocal dictates and two: its covered 100%. Phew! Another bonus the infusion sets are cover 100% too! We are so grateful because we have been praying for a smooth transition into the pump and the first step was actually getting the pump shipped without problems. Thus far Animas has been wonderfully responsive and so has our insurance company. Thank God. The next phase of this transition will be training set up for late April and then a week of saline in the pump and then off we go with insulin. We're grateful for the first hurdle and praying for the next couple!

As a side note I just got an email with the tracking information! The pump and supplies should arrive today.

Gratituesday- Silence

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 17:44:00 +0000

I have never appreciated silence more than this current stage in my life. I guess their are two types of silence in my life. One is when the girls are silent I know something is wrong, thank God for those little indicators of mischief or disobedience. The second silence and the one I'm REALLY grateful for is silence when the girls are asleep or I'm driving alone in the car. I don't think I'm an introvert nor have I ever been one to seek out silence. Music was always on in the car once I began driving and Mark and I frequently had music on in the house before kids. Now, if I'm in the car alone there is no music or talk radio, just beautiful silence. As a note I used to think my mom was weird for not listening to the radio, sorry mom; I totally understand now;)

Today I had one of those really wonderful silent times while the girls napped. I sipped hot chocolate, sat on the couch looking at the pink blossomed tree in front of our house while I read a very encouraging book (Faithful Parent by Martha Peace and Stuart Scott) and journaled. The silence and rest was refreshing.

What are you grateful for today?

Gratituesday is part of Heavenly Homemakers

On Our Way...

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 19:24:00 +0000

Towards an Insulin Pump! Wahoo!

Mark and I are so excited to begin this process. While I'm a bit overwhelmed at having to learn a whole new system of care, I'm looking forward to not having to give 6-10 shots a day! How wonderful it will be to bolus without having Marian scream at me because it hurts...some of this I think is manipulation not real pain, since it doesn't happen in public or when others give an injection typically.

We decided to go with the Animas OneTouch Ping. I thought it would be useful to list our thoughts on each because I would've appreciated seeing someone else's thoughts on deciding the pump they chose.
Here are some of our thoughts as we worked through which pump to choose:

OmniPod

Positives:

Child has no access to pump controls

Waterproof

Less to carry

Negatives:

If we forget the meter no other options to get insulin into Marian easily

A bit heavy to be taped to body of 3 year old, most reviews seemed to indicate extra glues/tapes needed.

OneTouch Ping

Positives:

Pink (this is the feature most important to Marian)
Can give program to give insulin using pump on body and through meter
Waterproof
We've used the OneTouch meter so its a bit less to learn

Negatives:
Marian will have access to pump controls
Marian must wear a belt or pocket with the pump